One of the best Zen lessons I ever had busted over my head was the role of anxiety in our lives.
Something does or doesn’t happen that tweaks your mojo, your stomach knots up, you sweat like a pig, you get get brain-vapor-lock and can’t stop obsessing over past and future events.
You are held captive by anxiety. Blood pressure burbles up, heart races, hands shake, eyes tear up.
Then… suddenly… a fresh crisis occurs.
You receive an emergency phone call, zombies attack, some doofus rear-ends you in traffic, the dog gets in a fight with a rabid squirrel, an earthquake knocks over you and the furniture, or whatever.
Your mind is instantly freed from the anxiety, as you marshall inner resources to deal with the immediate incoming shit. (Killing zombies is hard work.)
This proves your anxiety is an invention of your own bad-ass mind. A concocted fear of things outside your control.
You’ve done it to yourself.
Later, calmer, you can deal with the original anxiety-provoking situation. Apologize, clean up the mess, make amends, pay your penalty, accept the consequences…
… and move on.
Anxiety is an invented state. You can also beat it with hard-core exercise (or a few pints)…
… but the main realization is that you can beat it.
Strangle it at it’s worst, crush it like a bug even as it crests in your system.
Murder the little bastard.
It might take some practice. Without the intervention of good tactics (like good old Americanized Beat-inspired Zen), you can spend your entire life shackled to the whims of your super-ego. That nagging voice telling you you’re not good enough. That vague sense of impending doom and failure, no matter how experienced you’ve become at something. Feeling like an imposter about to be revealed, like a criminal about to be exposed, like a pathetic twerp deserving ridicule.
It’s all bullshit. There are warring sub-personalities inside your head, and too often the wrong ones win.
You have SO much more input than you realize, if only you’ll take back the control room in your brain.
Write your own script for a change, and let your love-light shine.
So do the usual prescriptions for dealing with it (via our overlord, Big Pharma).
Zen out, instead.
It’s only hard while you’re in the initial battle with the demons refusing to relinquish control of your life… and once you get good at vanquishing them, you can stop worrying about zombies (until the actual apocalypse).
Hope you’re playing it safe during the Plague.
P.S. Be sure to check out the courses and books available here on the blog.
This is a GREAT time to get the basics of solid salesmanship (and especially salesmanship-in-print) down cold… as the world pivots to some new version of “normal” that will eat the weak and demand intense discipline from the survivors.
“You want it, you take it… you pay the price.” (Bruuuuuuce Springsteen, “Prove It All Night”)
One afternoon when I was around 9, I found a $2 bill laying in the parking lot of the local plunge (where we’d just spent the day trying to drown ourselves and trick each other into doing belly-flops off the high dive).
I was as ecstatic as Sinbad when he discovered the Cyclops’ treasure cave. The rarity of the bill just added to the sense of forbidden loot and mysterious swag. Bought us a lot of candy back then.
However, it also changed me. I spent years looking under cars in parking lots after that, obsessed with the notion that vast caches of moolah were laying around, waiting to be found. It was magical thinking at its finest. I was half-convinced it might be a way to fund my childhood, just harvesting the cash laying around.
I mean, Santa had already been outed as “not real”. And Zorro, when I met him at a supermarket opening, was shorter than he looked on TV (and smelled like beer). I had these gaping holes in my belief system of “how things worked”, and since no one was offering better ideas, I just picked up on whatever silly notion entered my head and ran with it.
Later, when we realized The Monkees weren’t a real band, and Rock Hudson was gay, and Nixon lied to us, and…
It was HARD keeping a bullshit myth-laden belief system operating. You had to really dig in and ignore facts, and even get burned a lot.
Finally, when I became a freelance copywriter and there was real money on the line (and not just opinions or hurt feelings)… I saw the light.
And it remains one of the Big Revelations I had, early in my career: The role of reality in becoming a world-class salesman.
In order to persuade large groups of people to buy, act now, or even just begin to see your side of things… you have to see the world as it is.
Not as you wish it was. Not as you believe it should be. Not as you were told it was.
As it is. The stark, cold reality of how things actually work, and how people actually behave.
This is often scary, at first. It requires you to look behind your go-to belief systems (which you may have had since you were a kid)… to challenge authority’s version of what’s going on… and — most important — you must willingly exit the shared delusion among the majority of your fellow humans that what they say they’ll do is more important than what they actually do.
This kind of critical thinking, of looking behind the curtain and not being lulled into false promises, drags you away from the main party… and can seem lonely. Folks will even get hostile at times, because you’re no longer playing along. (I had multiple occasions, before I learned to just let it go, of ending a family argument by pulling out a dictionary or encyclopedia… and later, hoping onto Google. Thus ruining everyone’s mood, because no one enjoys having their bullshit beliefs challenged.)
This sense of becoming alienated from friends and family sometimes keeps copywriters from tossing their myth-based belief systems, and diving deep into the murky waters of reality. They’re afraid it will change them for the worst. Make them azzholes and doubters and unpleasant realists.
But that’s not how it needs to work. Here are a few Starter Rules to help you get going:
Starter Rule #1: Observing how people act, versus what they say they’ll do, just gives you a tool to avoid being bamboozled. In its simplest form, you’ll notice that the folks who are most emphatic in their promises (“I will absolutely be there on time. No excuses…”) are the ones who will chronically let you down.
In the advanced form, your Bullshit Detector will start buzzing whenever a client says “money isn’t a problem”… because, much of the time, that means money is very much a problem. (Resist the urge to automatically assume the opposite of everything anyone says… even when your experience shows you it will often be the case. Don’t get into the habit of making rash decisions, based on what you’ve seen before. But DO put your instincts and experience into the mix.)
Starter Rule #2: And for God’s sake, don’t let this make you cynical. It’s not your job to call folks out on the inconsistency of their actions, versus what they insist is their intention. You can, however, quietly understand that the rare individuals who DO fulfill their promises are the ones you want around you professionally (and probably romantically, too).
Personally, I’ve found that you start to attract professionally-minded colleagues quickly, once your reality-based modus operandi kicks in.
When money, results and the success of a biz venture is on the line, promises count for nothing. The cold hard reality of how the market reacts to your ads is all that matters.. and you must react accordingly.
Starter Rule #3: Keep your ego out of it. At first, you’ll need to monitor your own bad habits of not following up on your promises… and this will change you fundamentally as a person. Don’t announce that you’re suddenly a “new man”. Instead, just start acting as if your word really does mean something.
Early on, I developed my version of a “professional’s code”: You are where you said you’d be, when you said you’d be there, having done what you said you’d do.
This means you meet all deadlines, no matter what (even if it means staying up all night working, missing the big party, disappointing Susie Q, defying the insults and demands of your old pals who hate the idea of you becoming a pro and leaving their slacker butts in the dust). You honor your contracts, even if it’s just something you said (and could, if you weren’t such a pro, weasel out of).
You become “that guy” who can be trusted… not because you say you can be trusted, but because you really can be trusted.
Huge difference that requires behavioral changes at your cellular level. It’s hard to pull off, but you can do it.
Starter Rule #4: When you first start living in reality, there is a danger of becoming cynical and angry. Just move past it — your goal is to become a world-class persuader and provider of actual results.
You may become a quieter person… because all that time you once spent trying to convince someone you were going to do something is no longer required. You simply agree to do it, and then do it. On time. With all the expertise you can muster.
You never, ever need to explain yourself. You become a Dude Of Action. This becomes your reputation over time — not because you’ve announced it, but because this is who you’ve become. You’ve got to be patient, and hold yourself accountable for everything you do.
And yes, I’m serious when I say “everything”. Stop lying, pretending, wishing and cheating. It’s stunningly easy to do, but it requires a commitment.
Starter Rule #5: There is never a need to argue. As a rookie copywriter, I realized (after meeting my twentieth VP of Marketing or CEO or entrepreneur) that incompetence is the RULE, not the exception, in business.
Most bosses — no matter how good-hearted they are, or how smart they are, or even how experienced they are — simply cannot know all there is to know about every part of running a biz. So they’ll insist on using certain (dumb) sales angles, demand that offers be presented in specific (dumb) ways, and — worst of all — have their niece with the degree in English Lit edit your work.
Early in your career, this is not a problem to worry about. Get your money up front, with any other royalties or payments in written form, and just keep moving. Most of your clients will suck, and not follow through, and botch the marketing up. That’s just the way it goes.
As you gain experience, and especially as your reputation allows you to have more of a voice in what goes down, you’ll eventually be in the position of forcing every client to do what you tell them to do. But that doesn’t happen right away.
(For more on these high-end freelance tactics, including details on how to get paid, check out The Freelance Manual, available here.)
When you work through reality, the mysteries of the world play less and less a part of how you proceed. If you don’t know something, you don’t pretend that saying you know it makes it so. You go learn it. Or hire someone who’s proficient at it to do it for you. You research, you comparison shop, you do whatever is necessary to achieve your goal.
You say “I don’t know. I’ll find out,” a lot.
You are relieved from the task of keeping your lies and boasts and pretend-knowledge straight.
And suddenly, you’re spending your time honing your chops, filling in the gaps with actual skills and know-how, and getting shit done.
Most folks prefer the world to remain full of mystery. It’s that childhood thrill of simply deciding that something is so, and then never questioning it again, even as evidence mounts that it’s bullshit. (I never did find another $2 bill on the ground. And I missed a few rainbows along the way, because I was always looking down…)
Reality is unforgiving, and requires you to be responsible, take action, and stop pretending. But it’s really the only way to go. I found that, rather than making me more cynical about people, I actually loved them more. I instantly forgive them their bullshit promises, even while fulfilling all of my own. I also never allow someone to steal time from me, or ruin my day with a failed promise — I give them a reasonable window, and when they’ve failed, I go to Plan B.
You always have a Plan B (and Plan C, and Plan D) when you live in reality. Sometimes you find yourself saying goodbye to unreliable friends and fun-but-sketchy colleagues… and you have to be okay with that. You’re going after long-term and short-term goals, and it takes commitment and sweat to reach them. If your old crowd still believes that success comes from luck (like finding a $2 bill on the ground), you may have to find a new crowd.
There will always be a little mystery in life. You encounter new stuff all the time, in business and in relationships and in everything you do.
But each mystery can be broken down into knowable parts, and figured out, and solved. Every time. Eventually, after you’ve worked with a lot of clients in a lot of markets, you realize you are never stumped by the obstacles that freeze most entrepreneurs up. There is always a reason why sales are down, or returns are up, or something that used to work ain’t working no more.
When the reality of business and life become second-nature to you… you become That Consultant Every Biz Owner Wants To Hire. And the top copywriting experts are all consultants first, solving the mysteries with reality-based solutions. The writing comes later.
Does this make sense to you?
This entire subject is often the main entree at our masterminds, and in every Hot Seat consultation I do.
Living in reality is a much better way to go, every time. And it really can make you a happier, more fun and pleasant person… who just happens to get a lot done.
Love to hear what you think, in the comment section below.
I’m waiting for my Uber to take me to the Tampa airport at this ungodly hour because when booking my flight home, I obviously was hallucinating or drunk.
New rule for travel: Never, ever, ever book a 6 am flight. Cuz it requires getting up before the roosters, and that is almost never a good idea.
I’ve just spent a week in the Florida panhandle, first visiting my longtime friend Dean Jackson (he of the More Cheese, Less Whiskers podcast)…
… and then attending my colleague Kevin Rogers’ “Copy Chief Live” event.
Where there were raucous times with my other colleagues (like David Deutsch and Lori Haller and Parris Lampopolous and Mike Morgan and many others)…
… plus, as I fully expected and prepared for…
… a TON of fresh insight to living well and happily.
Because that’s what always happens you hang out at rowdy seminars like this. The speakers fill your head with lofty ideas, and your pals re-juice your brain with verve and stories and the sizzling secrets that fuel the best careers out there.
I had a few topics in mind that I wanted to bring up during private conversations, and that’s all the ammo I needed to get things rolling.
In two successive afternoons, for example, apropos of nothing, separate conversations with Dean Jackson and then Aussie James Schramko (who both also spoke at the event)…
… helped me solve two of the biggest problems now facing me in my little biz here.
No, you don’t need to know the particulars. I’ll be writing about them in further posts later on, as things progress beyond the “Holy cow, that’s a great idea!” stage and I start implementing them.
Stay tuned, here in the blog.
But I can assure they are both life-changing.
Cuz that’s what the guys at the top of the food chain in this little niche of the marketing world.
The thing I want to share with you is much more vital to YOUR jouney through life and biz.
Here it is:
Many of the greatest breakthroughs you have will concern “sticking points” that are hampering you reaching the Next Step of your career…
… whatever that Next Step might be.
And I’ve learned over the 40 sometimes-gruesome years of my own career that these sticking points are often…
… just blind spots that you can’t get a bead on.
And yet, just talking about them out loud with your colleagues can jigger loose the solutions.
I always prefer simple, elegant and easy solutions myself…
… and that’s exactly what I often get from hanging out with savvy colleagues.
The simple solutions that zoom me past the sticking points, and get me cooking on high heat again.
I’ve seen entire careers and once-thriving businesses collapse…
… because of problems that were actually easy to solve.
But the owners couldn’t get away from the ruts they’d dug for themselves to see those solutions.
They needed help, and didn’t get it in time.
Unfortunately, this is way too common. So many entrepreneurs and freelancers become too isolated to get the kind of input, advice and brainstorming that are crucial to quickly blowing through trouble.
For me, going to an event is rarely about the actual event.
No. Not by a long shot.
What I’m going for is the pleasure… and the breakthroughs… that come with simply hanging out with colleagues and the fresh wave of new brainiacs that they introduce me to during the event.
That’s the magic, my friend.
Other minds, with all the experience and tactics and breakthroughs they’ve been gathering for their entire careers.
It will blow your mind.
This is why so many top-of-the-game experts still haunt the halls of regular seminars and masterminds.
To get that good stuff that ONLY comes with hanging out with like-minded folks. Away from the bustle and distractions of “normal” biz life.
I just solved two of the biggest sticking points I’ve had for over a year… all in the space of two random conversations with colleagues I trust.
Who were happy to help.
Because I’ve helped them in the past the very same way.
Your network is your greatest resource, and always will be.
Never forget this.
P.S. The next upcoming Platinum mastermind I’ve hosted for over ten years is sold out, I believe. (Each meeting is limited to just a dozen or so people, because we spend so much time brainstorming and solving the problems for EACH attendee during the two-day event.)
However, you may still be able to squeeze into the following meeting, coming up next spring.
If you want to get a taste of what’s in store for you when you make it to one of these breakthrough-triggering meetings, just pop over here.
No obligation, of course, just for looking.
But you may want to check it out quickly, since spots fill up.
Rome, Italy (yeah, I’m on vacation)
“Wither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car at night?” (Jack Kerouac)
I’ve been asking people, lately, what I consider a great question: “Is there anyone in your life who could write your biography?”
Most folks never think about their legacy.
The writers I know all do, of course, though few take the time to work up an autobiography (beyond the blurbs we use for promotion). You gotta be really full of yourself to think you’re worthy of a book.
Still, it’s a question to ponder. Who in your life knows you well enough to tell the tale?
I have no one. Because I’ve moved around a lot, and had radically different sub-plots in my life many times that brought in new batches of friends and cohorts, leaving prior ones in the dust.
There are folks who could tell you intimate things about me, within a limited “chapter” of time… but never the whole story, as an overview. Childhood, youth, the middle years, geezerdom. Each of these eras are like separate John’s, completely different people.
Guys like Keith Richards and Mick Jagger have been close their entire lives, from late childhood on, because of the band. They may not know all the details of each other’s tale, but they could hold forth with pretty decent accuracy on the main themes.
I have a cousin who married his high school sweetheart, and they have that kind of relationship — total lifetime knowledge of each other. Maybe, at one time, that wasn’t so rare. Now, it seems almost quaint (at least among the circles I run in).
I guess you can count yourself lucky if you have someone who could pen a relatively factual obituary for you, today.
The flip side: On the other hand, I could write the biography of MANY friends…
… because I’ve practiced the simple tactics from Dale Carnegie’s “How To Win Friends And Influence People” for most of my life.
I ask questions, and then follow up with more questions. I’m interested in how people live, how they make decisions and how they handle the consequences. What their happiest memories are, what their darkest days were like, how they got here from there.
It’s not magic. It’s empathy, combined with a genuine interest in other people. It’s easy to get someone to tell their life story, when you simply ask them.
It’s not done all at one shot, either. You need to spend some time together, share some history, earn the trust required to divulge the juicy secrets.
And, because you don’t betray confidence, you never share what you hear capriciously. You simply know more about certain folks than even their other trusted pals do. But your reputation as a person capable of keeping secrets is solid. It has to be.
As a writer who needs to understand how people operate, this is a main tool. Empathy, plus interviewing.
And here’s the Big Secret: So few people know my entire story… because they never ask.
They’ll wax prolific on their own tales, when asked. But they never ask bac. Most are just too overwhelmed with living their own lives to care about anyone else’s, and it’s understandable. Others are genuinely uninterested in how others live.
But most just don’t know how to ask. They confuse respect for privacy with refusing to go deep.
Back in college, I had a great prof who forced us to go into the community and get an old person to tell their tale. It was an anthropology class, and we would have flunked without doing it.
It was freaking great. These oldsters — ignored, forgotten, in the way — lit up when asked about their lives.
No one had ever asked before.
And the tales told were fascinating, like the best novels you’ve ever encountered. War, loss, love, discovery, travel, horror, insight…
… all the rough and tumble intricacies of a long life were there.
It opened my eyes, tell you what. I was young, full of myself, obsessed with the now-relics of a Boomer existence (sex, drugs and rock and roll, mostly).
Yet, these folks who came before me went through similar periods (swing, prohibited booze, flappers, illicit sex)…
… and then entered new chapters, usually family, job and generational upheaval. It all made sense.
It was like glimpsing my own future, told from the past.
Just saying. We get so deep into ourselves, we forget to pop our heads out of our ass ever so often to see what’s going on with everyone else.
Life is a gorgeous, horror-filled wonderland, relentlessly bombarding us with incoming drama, tragedy and comedy.
Those who get to enjoy/endure it for many years are the lucky ones.
And the tales told are never boring, when you know how to translate them.
For a marketer looking to succeed, this is the key to the kingdom.
P.S. If you’ve followed me for any length of time (here on the blog, in my books, or on social media) you know I frame my advice on being successful within stories.
I do it, because that’s how ideas stick. We’re hard-wired to listen to stories, and remember the good ones.
If you’re interested in the lessons I’ve learned about success and living large (from a very long career at the roiling edge of life and biz)…
… then you’ll be interested in this.
You can thank me later.
“I’m a long gone daddy in the USA…” (Bruce.)
For most folks in America, July 4th is about picnics, blowing shit up, and toasting the gutsy nature of our country.
Born in defiance and battle, prickly and belligerent and idealistic, with built-in endless (and often absurd) political arguments…
… we’ve somehow made the grand experiment last a couple of centuries and a half.
For me, though, the real victory of the joint isn’t in the details of elections or legislation, or the question of how exceptional we are or aren’t as a culture.
Nope. My own pursuit of life and liberty has always balanced on the First Amendment…
… particularly the parts about freedom of speech and freedom of the press.
That’s the beating heart of this place. That’s the saving grace.
For every writer here… novelist, copywriter, journalist, blogger or disgruntled “letter to the editor” ranter…
… there is a long, gruesome pedigree of ancestor writers who were prosecuted or erased or bullied into silence, stretching back as far as history goes.
We’re so spoiled here with freedom of speech, that many naively believe it’s an essential privilege that, of course, is the rule and not the exception.
Yet, the opposite is true.
Even today, the right to speak or write about what’s on your mind remains curtailed, risky, and forbidden all over the planet.
Even here, the struggle to get to this point — where you and I can write “fuck” without fear of censorship or a visit from The Man — was an ongoing battle that claimed careers and lives of contemporaries.
I grew up owning banned books (from the notorious Grove Press, which insisted on publishing every author banned in the U.S. throughout the latter half of the 20th century), watching authorities destroy comics like Lenny Bruce and artists like Jim Morrison, and being pleasantly dumbstruck when respected magazines like The New Yorker finally began printing formerly-prohibited words like “motherfucker” in their articles.
It’s not just about swearing, or about sex, or even about the never-ending brawl between Puritanism and libertarianism.
Much deeper than that.
The offensive language and unhinged rants now common online are just a price to pay for the more important victory of Free Thought over censorship.
All those past writers and wannabe scribes, muzzled and cowed into submission or silence over the past eons, would weep with joy at the lack of control by The Man over what we think and write. Never mind the wonders of electricity, air travel, the InterWebs, the buzzing gadgets that dominate modern life — the real jaw-dropper is our ability to use our minds unfettered by outside authority.
It’s a shame folks here take it all for granted. That’s how you lose these kinds of privileges.
The offended classes gather power, see freedom of thought as a direct threat to that power, and wage constant war against it.
Most folks have no use for too much freedom — it’s kind of scary, full of challenges to their belief systems and ideologies and traditions.
And I’m all for having the sense to pull back a bit in situations where speaking like a drunken sailor will cause folks to clutch their pearls or faint. I’m fine with a little cognitive dissonance, where we pretend that kids have never heard a bad word before, or that “decent” literature and movies can be great art.
But do not infringe on my right to enjoy Shakespeare and Twain and George Carlin and Henry Miller without hiding (all have been banned or censored at some point in our history).
And I will write whatever the hell I choose to write, whenever I choose to write it.
We all have to pick our battles in life. Writers tend to be an introspective, introverted bunch who aren’t so hot with manning the barricades…
… which is why it took nearly the entire arc of civilization’s history to reach this point of unfettered free thought.
So we modern writers owe it to the ink-stained wretches of the past — our professional ancestors — to embrace, defend, and heap glory onto the practice today.
This kind of freedom was never a guaranteed deal.
The Founding Fathers argued about it, and current governments elsewhere still get queasy even considering letting nutballs like us off the leash, with no way to stop our brains from thinking way outside of the box.
I realize that many of my fellow citizens would be just fine with a few shackles on writers here and there. For them, other battles are more important. And that’s fine…
… as long as these nay-sayers keep losing that argument.
For me, the real fight of the past few generations — the fight worth dying for today — is freedom of speech. The unconditional freedom to think, and write, whatever goddamned crap I feel like writing about…
… whether it’s the next Great American Novel or just a funny post on social media skewering uptight jerks.
Or even another ad that raises eyebrows.
Yes, there are a few restrictions still. I’m okay with having a few legal lines that shall not be crossed (because they cause real harm, not theoretical harm).
But the restrictions should remain rare.
Hearing harsh language won’t damage your brain, no matter how freaked-out you get over it.
Being exposed to foreign ideas won’t change your biology.
And stumbling upon writing that offends you won’t cause civilization to crumble.
I’ll toast the First Amendment today, and every day afterward, for the rest of my life.
It was worth blowing shit up for. It’s worth every knock-down fight that has happened, and if more fighting is required, sign me up.
For all the faults and missteps and foibles of my country’s existence…
… I still allow myself to get choked up over Old Glory.
Because she flies over my continued ability to be the kind of writer my ancestors could barely dream of being.
P.S. Hey — make sure you’ve got my books with you when you go off on holiday.
You can order them right now, in the right-hand column here. The digital versions will be in your digital hands immediately, too… no waiting…
“There is nothing that cannot be achieved by a man who refuses to listen to reason” (Gary Halbert)
I was going to slap a quickie book on Amazon for you…
… stuffed with all the advice, shared wisdom, tactics and strange asides I’ve been assaulting folks with lately on my Facebook page.
But then I thought, “screw that”.
Why not just give the book to you here?
And that’s what I’m gonna do.
Hey, it saves me a ton of editing and detail work (which I loathe).
Brain Farts, Psych Insights, Strange Tales
& Goddamn Good Advice
The “bad Uncle” rantings of the most ripped-off and respected copywriter alive.
Table of Contents:
Chapter 1: The Big Damn Jenga Game That Is Your Future
Chapter 2: The 3 Types Of People Who Will Be Fucking With You Your Entire Life
Chapter 3: Respect Brilliance, And Brilliance Will Respect You
Chapter 4: Wait — Does Carlton Still Consult With Regular People?
Chapter 5: No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Chapter 6: The Genius Of Operation Money$uck
Chapter 7: The Best Way To Learn From Mentors
Chapter 8: What’s Your Excuse?
Chapter 9: The Small Stories That Do The Most Work
Chapter 10: Becoming Mr. Persuasion Expert
Chapter 11: Where To Find The Eternal Truths Of Great Copywriting
Chapter 12: The Simple Tactic That Opens Doors For You Every Time
Bonus Chapter 13: When Logic Sucks
Folks complain to me all the time about the length of many of my posts (especially here in the blog).
Here’s a nice quickie book full of very short chapters...
… all of which nevertheless pack a vicious punch of insight and savvy.
You can read it in 11 minutes, unless you’re a plodding reader (like me). (I like to dawdle along, savoring the writing.)
Anyway, it’s free, so you don’t get a big, deep introduction.
The Big Damn Jenga Game
That Is Your Future
Today’s Brain Fart Lesson: We all get lost sometimes.
The longer you live, the more it happens.
Even after you’ve succeeded, and nailed down your spot in the hierarchy (whatever it is, biz, family, team), you will never stay in one place.
The universe likes to screw with us, treating our plans and lives like a big Jenga game.
The occasional collapse is inevitable.
So it’s not necessarily a bad thing to wake up one day and realize you’re all lost again. It happens.
The only constant will be yourself, smack in the middle of all the melodrama, tragedy and chaos of a normal life. (You can ramp up the intensity of everything once you become an entrepreneur, too, so be prepared for a more jolting ride.)
Lost, found, lost, found.
For me, a nice Zen approach to the ebbs and flows of life works.
It’s only when you freak out and panic that you get REALLY lost.
Remember who you are, and what you’ve survived… and why you’re here in the first place.
You have a purpose. It will sometimes shimmer just out of easy reach…
… and it will sometimes be in your face, like a flash bulb.
When you’re lost, it’s barely a dot on the horizon, and you’re not sure you even know what it is anymore.
Stay frosty. Keep calm.
No one gets out of here alive, but during the ride (however long or short it is) you’ve got control of the script.
This is what your network is for.
When you’re feeling lost, reach out. Don’t curl up and suck your thumb.
You’re normal. This shit happens. There is a way out (there’s ALWAYS a way around a bad spot…
… even if it’s not the solution you’ve hoped for). If you have medicine to take, take it. If you have to limp back to the beginning and start over, limp back and get going.
The universe, as capricious as it can be at times, respects movement.
Good luck, and carry on.
When you find love, cherish it.
When you stumble into chaos, fight.
Above all, keep moving…
The 3 Types Of People Who Will Be Fucking With You
For Your Entire Life
Dept. of Adventure Junkies United, memo #38: I’ve lived long enough to realize there are basically 3 distinct types of people:
We call that last group “Safes”, meaning they play life safe, seldom straying anywhere near The Edge (and never, if they can help it, peeking over into the abyss).
I don’t have many acquaintances who are Safes. They don’t do well in my world.
I’ve spent most of my youth in the first camp. As kids, we dared Life to actually kill us as we fell out of trees, explored dangerous caves, jumped across roofs and rode bikes at speeds that drove our eyeballs back into our brains.
As a teen, it just got ridiculous. I have yet to see a “kids go crazy” movie that comes close to the wild-ass stunts and death-defying idiocy we performed on a regular basis (and that includes Animal House, Porky’s, Dazed And Confused, and any other one you can name).
And once I reached legal age…
… well, I’m not gonna discuss it here. Let your imagination run wild. It won’t come close to what we pulled off.
However, as I’ve mellowed a bit, I’ve backed off of experiencing adventure first hand. I just don’t heal like I used to.
Plus, it’s now as much fun to kick back and relive those memories with old pals as it was to generate the memories in the first place.
The top writers of the world all fuel their existence with raw adventure while young…
… and then write about it as they totter away from The Edge, glad for the experiences, ecstatic to have survived, and happy to have some pals around to share the tale with.
I feel sorry for the adrenaline junkies I’ve known — those poor souls who live fast, but never seem to have a story to tell. It’s all about the hormone dump, the internal chemical rush.
I get it. I know that flush of excitement over physical feats of insane boundary-testing very well…
… but it was just a side perk of the experience.
Mostly, I was after the STORY — the essence of doing something outrageous, living to tell the tale…
… and then TELLING the tale. And telling it with skill.
It’s important to understand these starkly different categories of people. You shouldn’t trick Safes into crawling up the side of a tall building downtown after a night of boozing. That’s not nice, and they won’t appreciate it.
The story they’ll tell is what a total asshole sociopath you are for making them do that shit.
And be wary of wandering off with the adrenaline junkies, if you’re not part of that tribe. They tend to die young.
And if you’re a writer…
… well, cherish the adventures you’ve had, make your bucket lists of adventures not yet realized and go after it…
… and keep honing your story-telling chops.
There’s nothing worse than sitting through a poorly-told tale, no matter how rousing the story COULD have been if shared with some pizzazz and skill.
One of the first things I reveal in the Simple Writing System is how to tell a story. It’s critical for anyone wanting to reach the next level up in biz (where all the Big Bucks and true happiness lives).
And — big treat — I’m going to personally teach a very special SWS class that begins the first of May, this year.
There won’t be very many spots available, cuz I like to keep my classes small (so I can really get to know you and offer personalized coaching customized to your particular needs).
I’ve only handled one class like this a year, and this may be the last one I personally teach.
So stay tuned if you’re at all interested.
Respect Brilliance, And
Brilliance Will Respect You
Dept. Of Shiny Objects: I’ve been thinking about all the brilliant people I get to hang out with.
My biz partner, brilliant. The staggeringly long line of mentors throughout my career, all brilliant. The folks I share stages with at events…
… brilliant. (Well, okay, not all of them. Some duds in there. But mostly, by the time you reach a major stage, you’ve honed your brilliance to a sparkly sheen.)
My colleagues, especially the writers: Brilliant. My old college pals (who I still hang with regularly, and dangerously): Brilliant.
A good subset of the neighbors in this somewhat exclusive enclave I call home: Brilliant.
The lovely lady I share the hovel with: Brilliant.
I’m fucking surrounded by brilliance.
You’d think it’d get boring, after a while.
Naw. Just gotta remember to be patient with the less-than-brilliant people who populate most of the rest of the joint.
And, gotta remember not to take anything for granted.
You cannot imagine what it’s actually like to sit at a bar telling war stories with my writer friends. Or going on long road-dog adventures with my long-gone pal Gary Halbert (or his kid Bond).
Or going deep in one of our mastermind meetings…
The people around you are your braintrust.
It can take half a lifetime to gather a good group — especially if (like me) you’re a little weird and introverted.
But when you find the right folks, you hold on tight.
The world is filled with aggressive stupidity. It can be annoying hanging out with brilliant people (who ALL have bizarre behavior disorders, usually undiagnosed)…
… but it’s always worth it.
This is how stuff gets done in the world.
Brilliance will out.
(To find out more about the amazing Platinum mastermind I’ve hosted with my biz partner Stan Dahl for the last 10 years, go here.)
Wait — Does Carlton Still Consult
With Regular People?
Just had a colleague (a colleague!) ask me if I do personal consultations.
How in the world does a guy who’s known me, and flogged my stuff, for years…
… not know I’m still a hot commodity in the consultation game?
I figure it’s my fault.
I don’t flaunt it, cuz I can only take on a couple of clients each month. (Yes, I restrict my personal calls to just a couple a week. I love you guys, but only up to a point.)
So, flaunting: Yes, you can get me on the phone (or on Skype, or Zoom, or whatever new freakin’ app you’re now using)…
… to personally discuss your biz or situation, dissect and solve problems, critique copy, and generally access the decades of deep front-line experience I offer as The Dude Who Knows A Fuck-Ton About Making The Big Bucks.
In fact, there’s a blog post up about this very subject, right now, here.
It’s so easy to grab a spot in the line-up. Especially now, while so many folks are still in the dark on whether I even offer private consulting anymore.
No Good Deed
Today’s Hard Knock: One of the first rules I learned, while climbing the career ladder, is “No good deed goes unpunished.”
It only makes sense after you’ve seen it in action, and you’ve taken the time to reflect on the way it plays out in real life.
But many folks take the wrong lesson from this sad realization of human frailty.
The thing is, just because you will be punished for your good deeds, you don’t stop doing them.
You just stop expecting to be rewarded.
This is why it can get lonely at the top. If you harshly judge people by their as-yet-unenlightened actions, you are soon left as a solo act.
So learn your Hard Knock lessons, but don’t feel superior about it.
Be an agent of change and practice massive forgiveness.
Perhaps, by tending your own garden well, you will influence the world.
Or, hell, just go ahead and blow the joint up. It’s what humans do when frustrated and impatient.
A few will continue doing the right thing, against the tide…
The Genius Of
Operation Money$uck Rule #1: If money can fix a problem, don’t waste time trying to fix it yourself.
Instead, use your time to make enough money to pay your way out of the problem.
If a problem requires time, measure the cost vs benefit of YOU handling it (cuz your time is very valuable), vs delegating it to someone else.
If you’re the dude or dudette responsible for bringing in the moolah, then that’s your primary job.
I’m always astonished at busy entrepreneurs who do their own laundry, shopping and chores when it takes them away from the biz.
Then, I’m absolutely floored when I discover they also handle every detail in the biz. Right down to fixing the printer when it goes wonky.
First thing I did when I started my biz was hire an assistant. She’s still with me, 15 years later, and her worth cannot be calculated. She multiplied the amount of time I had available for doing the Op$uck stuff.
Your time is your most important resource. Every second you rob your biz of your cash-generating efforts is a loss on the bottom line.
The Best Way To Learn
Some hard advice: Mentors active and successful in the real world are essential for anyone serious about leading in any part of life or business.
And it’s very difficult to find good mentors in academia. At least, that’s my experience.
Too many dumb rules.
You must venture into the “real world” to find the good ones.
I taught a single evening’s class each at both Exeter and the Missouri school of journalism, via Skype. It was a great little adventure, really glad I did it…
… but the students were not happy about being challenged. And I was lobbing softballs.
It was pearls before swine, I suspect.
In my first day with every real mentor I’ve ever had (notably Jay Abraham and Gary Halbert) I had my teeth metaphorically kicked in.
In my long experience, tough love is the best way to learn, with no second-best method in the running.
Academia has its place, and I learned a lot getting my BA (though very little in actual class).
But for entrepreneurs, it’s real world all the way.
Read copiously, but put what you learn to the test immediately.
Best advice for copywriters: Writers write…
… and great writers write with consequences.
Get busy. (And for crying out loud, go read my freaking blog.)
What’s Your Excuse?
One of the very bright dividing lines separating happy, successful folks from the unhappy wannabe’s…
… are the role of excuses in moving through life.
Dudes and dudettes who get stuff done stare down obstacles and find ways through or around them…
… no matter how long it takes, or how many times they fail at it.
They’re the minority.
Much more common is the notion that having a good excuse lets you off the hook for getting something done.
Our bollocked-up school system encourages this — oh, your dog ate your homework? Okay, you can have an extra day.
And it just gets worse in adult life — oh, sorry I T-boned your car there, but I just broke up with my girlfriend and was re-reading her last text to me…
At some point, most civilians will be on their death-bed, looking back on their failures and crushed dreams, and have to find cold comfort in the idea that at least they had good excuses. They tried, sort of, and had their feelings hurt or their efforts rebuffed, and what can you do?
Life’s hard, right?
Okay, fine. Cuddle up with your excuses.
You might garner a bit of sympathy from some folks, but you’ll just continue to be disregarded by anyone feasting on life and getting shit done.
Start with being late. If you think it’s okay, as long as you have a plausible excuse (the traffic lights were absolutely conspiring against you, or gosh, clocks are just hard to understand, you know?)…
… then move to the back of the line right now.
You may actually HAVE a good excuse this time…
… but if being late is “who you are” (and yes, you are judged harshly and continually in the biz world on this stuff)…
… then consider WHY it’s a habit.
Look deep. It may be passive-aggressive behavior you picked up as a kid. It may be a symptom of happiness-corrupting disorganization (which no potential client wants any part of). It may be undiagnosed ADD, or even the first ripples of real cognitive disorder.
But usually, it’s just a habit. You keep getting away with it — or you THINK you’re getting away with it (and really, the people around you just stop relying on you, and consider you a liability).
The consequences seem mild — maybe somebody gets pissed off once in a while, or you miss a flight. Whatever. Life is hard, right? Get off my case.
The problem, of course, is that if you want to play in the level above you — in biz, romance, sports or just generally effective living — you are going to pay dearly for your bad habits.
Top clients won’t put up with sloppy non-professional behavior. Self-respecting potential romantic partners will avoid committing to you. And a whole bunch of cool life experiences will vanish…
… all because you think having a good excuse absolves you from the responsibility to be where you said you’d be, when you said you’d be there… prepared to do what you said you’d do.
Getting away with something is NOT the same as “succeeding”.
Highly effective people, who get shit done and succeed at life, rarely allow excuse-artists into their lives in any meaningful way.
Buy a fucking watch. Add twenty minutes to your estimation of how long you’ll need to get somewhere (or more)…
… and if you’re early, find a spot to kick back and check email or Facebook or just relax. Or read a book. There’s no such thing as “wasting time by being early”. Be prepared for it.
And it’s worth repeating: Yes, the people operating in the level above you ARE judging you by these small behaviors.
Maybe other folks in your world are just character actors, whose time isn’t worth much. (That’s the way stone-cold sociopaths think, you know.)
However, the successful crowd you want to be dealing with will not put up with that bullshit.
Okay, you better get moving. You’re gonna be late…
The Small Stories
That Do The Most Work
Rumor Control, memo 34b: Here’s a fun exercise — for the next few days, pay attention to the stories people near you toss around as settled truth.
Ignore the politically-charged stuff. Too obvious.
Instead, note the smaller tales.
It’s easy, within an extended family, to spot foundational “facts” that are actually just shared assumptions with little or no evidence behind them.
Auntie Flo is just an eccentric, innocent old lady (not a dangerous self-medicating bipolar nutbar who keeps loaded guns in the silverware drawer).
Cousin Farquar’s sexual offender status is just a simple misunderstanding with the cops (and his 3 exes).
And your neighbors have concocted scripts about each and every household in the area (including yours).
Often, they won’t use names to identify a house, but plot lines. “Did you see the cop car parked over at the drug den yesterday?” says Mr. Perfect Lawn, while talking with That Hippie Couple across the street.
Noticing these smaller stories is how top ad writers become legendary.
It’s this kind of detail, plucked from real experience, that breathes life into a sales message.
I’ve been peppering my copy with snatches of observed reality since I first realized the potency of bringing the “truth” of human interaction to the selling game.
We are a whacky species, fueled by assumption, rumor, believable bullshit and tall tales invented out of thin air.
We all routinely just make stuff up to fill in the blanks.
We loathe blanks.
Understanding the mechanics of social interaction — with all its nonsense, silliness and fluff — is key to communicating effectively.
God help us.
Becoming Mr. Persuasion Expert
The Spectacular Failure of Human Rationality, Part 5: I’ve been gleefully collecting stories of bizarre decision-making by my fellow humans for decades.
As a marketer, these tales are sobering revelations about what I’m up against trying to persuade prospects to do something.
As a caring friend, they’re a reminder not to beat my head against the wall when stubborn resistance makes efforts to help futile.
Top example: A medical doctor friend refuses to entertain even the idea that I solved my migraine problems through diet, massage and chiropractic.
She’s old-school medicine, educated in the days when the AMA taught that masseuses were hookers, vitamins were bullshit, and chiro’s were quacks (and she just ignores the fact the AMA long ago apologized, and now many modern docs work closely with chiro’s cuz, you know, the shit works).
No, somehow HER migraines (which are interferring with her life big-time) require drastic brain surgery. No amount of empirical evidence from pals can dent her resistance to an alternative.
This is cognitive dissonance on a major-league scale — she doesn’t think I’m evil or lying, yet she just cannot allow my story to be “real” in her mind.
So she simply refuses to acknowledge it.
The downside of trying non-surgical alternatives?
No matter, she’s headed for the scalpel, to treat something other folks routinely beat with simple measures that don’t involve blood and removal of brain tissue.
You realize that this kind of stubbornness exists up and down the human decision-making process (from choosing what shoes to wear today, to who to marry and what car to buy) and you’re on the way to becoming Mr Persuasion Expert, for whom no objection is too weird or difficult to deal with.
Where To Find The Eternal Truths
Of Great Copywriting
Just posted this in a damn good thread about finding the best copywriters to follow for advice and tactics (crowd’s ultimate decision: look for the gray-hairs)… thought you’d dig it:
“In truth, any copywriter who’s had sustained success for several years can help you with the basics.
IF they’ve written for multiple markets, weathered massive economic disasters, and gone up against other seasoned pros in hyper-competitive niches and won.
Too many writers luck out by exploiting rare conditions and early adoption of hot tech changes. Which is great for making money, but doesn’t mean they can thrive outside of those rare conditions.
Google slaps and Zuckerberg tantrums tend to frustrate writers who lack deep knowledge of advertising history.
To learn the eternal truths, yes, find the grizzled pros. But only those who aren’t bitter about how shit keeps changing.
There will always be massive and unfair upheaval in biz. The true grownups have learned how to adjust.
Don’t follow leaders, watch the parking meters…”
The Simple Tactic That
Opens Doors For You Every Time
You want a simple tactic that will open doors for you?
Can’t believe I have to keep reminding folks of this…
… but just be very, very polite.
Say “please” and mean it.
Say “thanks” and mean it.
Call men “sir” (even if they’re younger than you), call women “m’am” (even when they’re younger than you), and listen intently when anyone is speaking to you.
Meet their eyes.
Do not argue, unless that is the dark alley you want to go down (and say goodbye to any doors that may have opened for you).
You know who the most polite people on the planet are?
Sociopaths, and folks who can kick your ass. They don’t give a ratfuck about the social “score” of who feels dominant in any given situation…
… and they want to get to their goals (which never, ever include arguing) as quickly and efficiently as possible.
If you’re good…
… or successful…
… or smart, experienced, talented, or can kick ass…
… folks will either find out soon enough, or they won’t.
It doesn’t matter.
Use the simple tools available to us socially to get people in rapport with you quickly, use charm to be non-threatening (when you can), and give others your total focus during conversations.
And remain committed to your goals.
I mean, Jeez Louise — you’re a nice person, who deserves more…
… yet the sociopaths and ass-kickers are waltzing through doors into opportunities that should have been YOURS.
Because they’re charming and polite and know how to move through social situations without an attitude.
Caring about the small shit is a sucker’s game.
Breathe deeper. Reach higher. Live bigger.
And please get my books. All of them, immediately. Devour them with gusto, and start moving up a couple of levels in life and biz.
You can find everything on the blog, right there in plain sight: john-carlton dot com.
When Logic Sucks
Psych Insight #233: The idea that “logic” enters into buying decisions is ludicrous.
A super-rational Vulcan like Mr Spock may accidentally hit on the right way to sell something to a market, but it would only be coincidence if it was actually logical.
He was not a persuader.
The Voice Of Reason seldom is.
Humans operate in this roiling soup of emotion, confusion, delusion, excuses, denial, and wishful thinking…
… it’s what makes us so charming and fun.
The universe may work under gorgeously-precise rules of physics, but our brains are big clumps of chaos.
Great salesmen know this, and proceed accordingly.
That’s it, Bucko.
Nice, short book, crammed with wisdom, advice and insight to moving your slacker butt up another level in life and biz.
My gift to you.
Now go rummage through the books and courses for sale in the right-hand column, and buy something to fill in the blanks of your skill set and biz mojo…
And be sure to sign up for blog notifications, up top. You get another free book when you do that, you know.
It’s Freebie City here today…
Photo courtesy of Ms Significant Other
“Everything changes once you have John Carlton roaming around inside your head…” (Perry Marshall, from the forward)
If you loved the first volume of “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Sh*t Together”…
… you’re gonna swoon over the just-now released Volume 2.
You can grab it now on Amazon, here.
I’ve filled this book with timeless advice, insight and tales from the front trenches of the marketing and advertising world…
… dipping heavily into the same well as the first book.
That would be the super-exclusive monthly newsletter I physically mailed out to a “hot list” of now-famous marketers and copywriters and entrepreneurs. (For a pretty penny, too — each year of receiving this newsletter, dubbed “The Marketing Rebel Rant”, set you back a thousand bucks. And still, the mailing list was a “who’s who” of the best and the brightest in the game.)
I mean, the forward is by my good friend Perry Marshall, for starters.
Inside, you’ll find tons of rollicking stories starring my longtime mentor and best pal Gary Halbert…
… as well as “behind the scenes” revelations from my 30-year career as the guy top marketers snuck in the back door to do the direct response magic required to earn the Big Bucks.
It’s not simply a “tell all”, though.
Not by a long shot.
The newsletter I wrote was being devoured by the Top Dogs in our industry…
… so I had to deliver on my promise to wow them with every issue.
That meant pulling out the big guns in every chapter, and going deep into the details of earning a seat at The Feast (my term for living the best life possible for a happy, rich, and super-productive biz owner).
You can grab a digital version for your Kindle, or a printed book. (I know most of the entrepreneurs I hear from keep a printed copy of Volume One close to their desk, dogeared and messy with notes.)
It’s riveting reading, and right up your alley (if becoming the most successful biz owner or copywriter possible is your goal).
Again: Here’s the Amazon page.
Go get your copy now.
St. Petersburg, FL
“Now the zombie is on your tail…” (“Lover Of The Bayou”, the Byrds)
I’ve been a high-paid, much-respected consultant for something like 30 years.
High paid, cuz my advice will rock your world (no matter where you’re at in your lifelong adventure in biz and life).
Much respected, cuz the results I squeeze out of entrepreneurs (including the most stubborn, irascible and bent-on-self-destruction types in the game) will make your jaw drop.
… the “secret” behind my consulting success is very, very simple.
For example, easily half the advice I give out regards living a better life…
… cuz by the time a biz owner realizes he needs a guy like me to intervene, he’s in some really deep shyte.
And after we deal with his bottom line, we quickly pivot to his private life. The burn-out, the lack of coherent long-term goals, the inability to answer simple questions like “what do you want from life now?”
Thus, we enter into classic “self-help” territory.
And most self-help stuff can be mulched into some version of “Calm the fuck down, keep moving, and have good goals“. (Though, of course, I explain that in fancier terms, so folks think they’re getting high-end psychologically sound advice. There’s a small bit of theater in any good consulting session.)
That’s not “band aid” advice, either.
Nope. Don’t let the folksiness fool you — this is deep stuff.
Whether you meditate, pray or just stare at the wall and veg out, if it calms you down, it’s a good tactic. (I like sitting in the old swing out back with the dog, staring at the mountains.)
But you gotta make it a habit.
Movement can be physical or mental or emotional…
… because whatever you require to progress from the bummer state you’re in to someplace nicer is exactly what you need to be doing. (When younger, I actually moved around a lot. Nowadays, I expand intellectually, because the bad grooves are in my head, not around me.) Exercise everything every day — your body, your brain, your tear ducts.
And you should get comfy with the rigors of goal setting and attainment asap in life — instilling it in kids is not too soon, if you’re a parent.
It’s as simple as it’s always been (no matter how much the rest of the culture ignores or distorts the process): Figure out what you want, make a plan to go get it… and then implement that plan.
The hard part (which you cannot begin to grok until you get deep into the process) is setting your sights.
Most of what you think you want, you really don’t. (But you gotta go through the process to realize it. Most common example: After covering your basic needs and having some to spare… more money will NOT make you happier. It’s been true since the dawn of civilization, but most folks need to experience this to believe it. So, I help people become successful… but with plenty of awareness that their happiness will come from other sources.)
True happiness can also be so much simpler to attain than most of us believe, at first.
Happiness is not a place you “arrive” at, and remain forever in joy.
Rather, it’s a process of engaging with life, navigating the good with the bad, and murdering your ego. And enjoying the occasional moments of true happiness that accompany a well-lived existence.
Most of the stuff that actually makes you blissed-out happy, you’re taking for granted…
… and it’s only when you lose it that you realize the truth of it all.
Loss is built into life, but learning lessons from it isn’t standard operating equipment in your head.
You gotta work at recognizing the lessons when they appear, and learning from them.
The happiest folks I’ve known in my long ride keep things simple.
Sometimes, the rich man and the not-so-rich man share the same blissed out moments — sitting in a comfy chair, stomach full, petting the dog and feeling alive.
Different parts of town, same sky.
Different bank accounts, same volume of love flowing through their hearts.
Hope you’re having some fun this fine autumn weekend…
P.S. Now is a great time to grab “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets Of A Marketing Rebel”, if you’ve never allowed yourself the pure, undiluted ecstasy of diving into that tome.
Go here and just marvel at the famous names who name it as the starting point for their grand adventure in biz and life…
“Tell your mama and your papa, I’m a little schoolboy, too…” (“Good Morning, Little Schoolgirl”, Sonny Boy Williamson)
Eventually, the main concerns of an entrepreneur become:
Concern #1. How does all the hard work fit into a lifestyle you enjoy having?
Nobody minds slaving away in the early stages of a biz adventure, cuz it’s fun.
And nobody wants to get locked into forced labor indefinitely, with no end in sight.
That old “work-life balance” thing can be a pesky bugger.
So this lifestyle stuff quickly becomes something you need to pay serious attention to. It’s interesting that so many “get rich quick” schemes feature (as bait) someone supposedly living a great life, on a beach somewhere, drenched in wealth and sex and fun…
… but the folks who fall for the pitch never quite seem to attain the same action.
That’s because, while it looks easy enough to do, it’s actually a royal bitch to put together a great lifestyle.
You gotta sample lots of things (like, for example: Do you even LIKE the beach?), test out different kinds of fulfillment (a huge mansion isn’t so much fun if you can’t afford to maintain it, or it’s far from your friends and you slowly waste away from loneliness), and figure out what you actually want (pretty Ms Suzy Q, the beauty queen, might turn out to be a nightmare to live with).
The trick to knowing how to set and achieve goals involves much guesswork at first…
… because almost no one really knows what will make them happy, at first.
In fact, I’ve discovered that MOST folks don’t actually want what they achieve, in their first efforts at implementing goal-attaining behavior.
They underestimate income, what makes them happy, and how fulfilled they will be with the first batch of stuff they go after. (I’m certainly in that camp. I was so broke and lost when I discovered the magic of goal-setting-and-attainment, that I was way too modest about moolah, love, and lifestyle. Took me years of attaining and discarding to figure it out.)
It’s a process.
Just like business.
The trick is to start right now, no matter where you’re at in life.
And use critical thinking to examine what you’re after, and what it means to you after you’ve attained it.
And adjust accordingly for the next round of goals.
Concern #2. Are you maximizing the easier ways to bring in money through multiple streams (so your cash register is pounding away even when you’re asleep, on vacation, or missing in action)?
Most entrepreneurs and freelancers leave massive piles of moolah on the table, never realizing the potential windfall just itching to fall into their laps.
You’d be shocked to know how many veteran business owners come to me for consulting…
… with a main problem of “not enough sales”…
… who actually just need to implement simple things like a good back-end.
A good back-end is just creating a product or service (or a menu of such) that you immediately offer customers…
… right after they’ve bought whatever you sell that took so much marketing and effort to close.
You spend 90% of your time and marketing money on making that first sale.
Then, you got nothing else to offer?
After earning all that trust, and getting them to open their wallet?
Right when the first sale is made, that wallet is still open, you know.
And the customer is still glowing with his new-found trust in you and your business.
So, you ignore that opportunity?
Stop. Offer him something else. Right away.
It will cost you ZERO in marketing. You simply make the offer, while you’ve still got his attention.
Such a deal.
And then offer him something else, again, throughout your future communications with him.
… most marketers forget to continue communications at all.
Or they’re ridiculously stingy about it (as in, sending out one or two emails a month).
No, no, no. Simple way to double your income next year: Email your happy customers, and your still-doubtful prospects, OFTEN. At least a couple of times a week.
The most successful marketers I know email their list every freaking day.
And no, it doesn’t alienate their list…
… because they take pains to keep those daily emails interesting and valuable.
Simple ways to keep interested customers buying, over and over, after the initial sale: That’s the key to kicking your bottom line into the stratosphere.
(And that’s just ONE way to maximize profit. For freelance copywriters, for another example, royalties can produce income for years after the work is done. I’m still receiving checks for ads I wrote TWENTY YEARS AGO. And the tactics just go on and on. Not exploring the simple ways of boosting your income is just asking for a lifestyle of relentless hard work and burnout.)
3. When do you decide to chuck the original model, and grow?
To complicate the hell out of everything, bringing in new staff or putting yourself in debt to investors, just because you think that’s how “growth” happens…
… is silly.
When you’re ready to play in the Big Kids’ Sandbox, you often just need a better game plan, higher quality skills, more powerful network connections, and a much, much deeper bag of tricks if you intend to thrive.
Becoming, and remaining, successful is an ongoing process that requires constant vigilance…
… and a commitment to doing what needs to be done to sustain your enthusiasm, your motivation, your ability to “read” your market, and the resources needed to stay relevant and vital.
Think of all this as your “toolkit”.
In there are the tools, tactics, strategies, techniques, skills…
… and the human side of your resources: Your networks, colleagues and mentors you trust to keep you focused on the right goals.
We all need someone to confide in, share ideas with, and confess our fears and troubles to. (I’ll be on the phone today with multiple colleagues, talking shop. And I’ll come away from every single call more energized, bursting with fresh ideas, and full of new tactics to put things into motion.) (After 30+ years in this biz, I’m one phone call away from the best possible answer to EVERY SINGLE QUESTION in business today. That’s a luxury you need to aim for, too.)
For some, that confidant is a spouse. For others, a biz partner.
For most, though, it often comes down to bringing in outside consultants who can give your situation a cold appraisal…
… and deliver the truth in ways your close friends and lovers may not be able to muster.
The top entrepreneurs all have a bulging toolkit, along with a vast network of human resources they rely on to grow, to recover from failure, and to help keep their eyes on the prize.
Just sayin’… all this is the key to a happy, wealthy life as an entrepreneur.
P.S. You don’t get into the Big Kids’ Sandbox with stuff you learn from a book.
No. You get there by tapping into the experience and savvy of mentors and experts and colleagues willing to share (while you’re building your own foundation of experience).
That’s where knowing where to turn comes in.
It’s good to have a one-stop resource for all the idea vetting, implementation strategies, skill-set expansion, and high-end reality checks you need to goose your mojo (and bring in the Major Bucks).
Here’s an excellent one-stop resource like that, sitting right under your nose…
Quick lesson in competence and incompetence.
Which are about a hair’s width apart in your brain, even if you refuse to admit it.
Here’s the lesson:
Just because you rock at one thing does NOT mean you are competent in everything (or anything) else.
Sounds obvious, right?
Isn’t, to most of your fellow humans.
Examples abound: Doctors (who got through years of freakin’ medical school) are well-known chumps when it comes to financial matters, falling for the worst-designed scams imaginable. High school jocks who figure their on-field athletic skills are preparing them for a wonderful adult life often have a rude awakening headed their way. Marriage counselors (especially the good ones) are typically already divorced a few times.
And entrepreneurs who conquer one marketing medium (say, Clickbank) assume they’re bulletproof…
… and gleefully murder their wealth by cluelessly wandering into a new biz model (where they’re quickly eaten alive).
And yet people never stop assigning all kinds of savvy and skills to experts who have shown absolutely zero competence to support such laurels. (Looking at you, TV political pundits.) (And you, Mr. Marketing Guru with a nice smile but nil real-world experience.)
Why do we do this?
Mostly because we crave real experts, honest heroes, and genuine leaders so much, we’re willing to overlook little things (like reality) and cross our fingers over outcomes.
The alternative is to, you know, become competent yourself and — ick — take responsibility for your decisions and actions.
The very best biz owners are like the best stand-up comics — they become self-aware, know their weak areas, and laugh about them.
And never pretend they’re something they’re not.
I am very, very good at what I’m good at, for example.
And what I’m not good at, I absolutely suck at.
Which is why I surround myself with folks who are good at what I’m not good at.
Your network of pals, colleagues, friendly enemies, experts, and partners should be diverse, self-aware themselves, and deeply experienced. You don’t have to become BFFs with your tech guy, but you do need to “connect” on a real level…
… so your values, ethics, lifestyle preferences and long-term goals are aligned and headed in the same direction. (Not surprisingly, this often does result in lifelong friendships… but it’s incidental.)
This Is Rule #1: Don’t try to “go it alone” for the long run.
The more successful you become, the more you’ll need a network to support you.
And the more successful you DESIRE to become…
… the more your network needs to be truly competent and front-loaded with massive experience (which they’ve learned from, not merely gone through).
Most of the folks you’ll meet in your journey through life will be incompetent at most of what they do.
And oblivious of it.
As an entrepreneur, you are no longer “one of the crowd”.
Your needs change immediately, your exposure to risk skyrockets, and the degree of “adventure” you experience goes off the charts.
If you do it right, that is.
Learn to judge your colleagues by what they do, not what they SAY they’ll do.
Arrogant, cynical braggarts are hiding something.
Shake off your natural inclination to assign competence to them (cuz they’re demanding you do so), and instead, take responsibility for your decisions by knowing your limits, and surrounding yourself with real experts who fill in the gaps.
P.S. Have you ever glanced at the testimonials piled up on Amazon about my book “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Shit Together”?
Some of the most famous folks in marketing and advertising give the book a solid thumb’s up. Looky some of the more recent ones from regular entrepreneurs, too:
No substance just a greedy marketer slash advertiser trying to get your money
Okay, so one miserable dude gave it one star (but left a very funny note!).
If I ever start pleasing everyone, I’m gonna hang it up.
My stuff is very much NOT for people with language hang-ups (fuck ’em, anyway), or deep confusion about what they think an entrepreneur does, or who are just plain old bat-shit crazy (about 20% of the population, at last count).
… my books ARE very much for anyone looking to move up a level in life and career.
Especially this book.
If you haven’t already read it, get it here.
If you have bought it, then buy it again and give it to someone you love.
It’s just seriously good stuff for anyone needing a mentor in their corner.