Yo, Aussies!


Thursday, 7:55pm
Reno, NV
“It was never part of our plans not to play well… it just happened that way.” (Ron Barassi, Hall O’ Fame footballer & Carlton coach)

G’day, mates.

In about 10 days, my biz partner Stan will morph into Road Dog Stan, and we’ll both be off to the Land Down Unda.

Three weekends, three cities, three seminars to speak at.

We fly into Sydney… will drive up to Melbourne (where my old pal Ed Dale has previously shown me the amazing hospitality Oz residents offer)…

… then fly up to Brisbane (“Brzbin” to locals, I hear).

I’m kinda freaked just listing it all out. Fortunately, Stan and I have left our womenfolk behind many times before to go trudging off like Victorian explorers… into the dense, scary jungles of Seminar Land.

Armed only with laptops, Powerpoint, iPhones, wireless cards, Kindles, iPods, Dopp kits and a wad of clothes stuffed into carry-ons.

I’m telling you, it’s almost barbaric, the way we have to live by our wits in luxury hotels and biz class jets.

I really empathize with Livingstone and Stanley. (Or was that Stanley and Oliver?)

We will be one step above subsistence on the Maslow scale.

So hey…

Here’s a couple of things you can do for us:

Thing Number One: If you’re a business owner in Australia… living in any of these 3 fine cities… and your dream has been to score a face-to-face consultation with me…

… well, here’s your chance.

We’ll have at least a day of down-time in each place, I predict.

And we’re quite open to to meeting with clients.

If you’re interested… or even just curious… just post a comment below. We can access your email from the comment, and my personal assistant Diane will get back to you immediately with more info.

No harm exploring the possibilities, is there.

Thing Number Two: Also…

… since we’re strangers in your strange land…

… we could really do with some inside suggestions of places to eat, drink, and see in each city.

I spent a week in Melbourne with Frank Kern and Ed, and just loved the joint to death. Took the train to the coast, saw naked people on the beach, tasted local delights, hung out in the neighborhood eateries, and logged miles of long walks downtown.

Still, despite my dog-eared copy of Lonely Planet, I’d really love to get some input from locals on stuff to do.

Can’t sit around draining Cooper’s all day, you know.

Thanks, ahead of time.

And Ed — is Carlton playing at home while we’re there? I’d love to see a game.

I’ve got a ton of souvenir gear from them here. I’m so proud to share a name with a once-great team brought to its knees by scandal and shenanigans… now rising again, Phoenix-like, to regain its rightful place as King of all they survey.

Or are they on another losing streak?

Let me know what’s up, guys.

Restaurants, nightclubs, gathering spots, nude beaches, sightseeing, day-trips out of town, nude beaches, cool hotels, tips for getting around, game schedules, nude beaches…

… Did I ask about nude beaches yet?

Looking forward to returning to the Land O’ Dropping Koala’s…

Stay frosty,


P.S. The photo is from Melbourne. Ed and Kern and I were driving through town, stuck in traffic… and there it was.

An alley called “AC/DC Lane”.

They must be so proud, the band…

(BTW: I just learned Angus’s bitchin’ lead on “You Shook Me All Nite Long”… wicked clever, that one…)

oz-5Me and the T-Nerd hisself…

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  • Hi John,

    I’m in one of the cities you aren’t visiting (Adelaide) but I’d suggest climbing the Sydney Harbor Bridge (http://www.bridgeclimb.com/).

    The only problem is I don’t think you can see the nude beaches, even from the very top, but maybe a local can correct me on that.

  • George says:

    Great to see your coming to town with Stan, would be great to see ya here .. although its heading into winto months so nude beaches will be er..interesting..but as a loyal fan I am willing to go the extra mile and look around all in the name of research of course…melbourne has quite a few great places to eat out at southbank (near crown casino) also around the docklands area..in terms of football- a shame you share the name with a team that has been the bane of my existance for as long as i can remember & heartbreakingly they are having a good season ( they will most likely be annhilating my beloved magpies this weekend)… but anyone that can quote “Barrass” and love melbourne can’t be all that bad…have a great trip..


  • Simon John Strachan says:

    Gday John,

    Now cant say I know much about nudist beaches – apart from the really good ones to go to . . . ahem

    Cobblers Beach is a reserve on the harbour with a fine view of the passing aquatic throng. (And the odd thong)

    Google maps: Cobblers Beach loc: Sydney NSW

    Once sufficiently tanned, its a fairly short walk to the end of Chowder Bay Rd where there’s a fine cafe / restaurant called Ripples – with a great menu and even greater wine list. (There’s a good selection of champagne for breakfast. Bloody great way to start the day . . . )

    Now I’m not suggesting too much exercise as it can seriously cut into your drinking and lounging time, but if you are wanting to get a great harbour walk in, thats pretty flat and goes past a couple of fantastic little beaches you’ll need to consider the Clontarf to Manly walk. Start at Clontarf and go as far as you like to Manly.

    Oh crap, now I’ve given away trade secrets to the whole of the blogosphere.

    Anyhoo, seeya in Sydney.

  • Ingrid Cliff says:

    Glad to see you are coming up to Brisvegas! Already booked in our tickets and rattled the mailing list to bring along many others.

    Best place to eat/chill in Brissie for the pure theatre of it (for some reason we never use the full and correct name up here) is Cloudland, 641 Ann St. If you can put up with the very slow flash the website is http://www.cloudland.tv.

    … and yes. I’m up for getting my butt kicked to the next copywriting level while you are here.

  • mike says:

    ya better make sure ya kindle’s loaded before ya come cause they aint doing that technology here yet

  • Stephen says:

    I’m a Melburnian eagerly anticipating your visit and the two day event
    Carlton football team are playing in Brisbane on Saturday, June 6th (evening)
    and on Friday, June 12th. You shouldn’t have any problems picking up a ticket on the day of the match
    Despite having a Melbourne suburb named after you I would avoid Carlton like the plague in terms of dining out. It’s full of over priced lousy Italian eateries serving bastardized Italian fodder.
    Here are a few reaturant suggestions:
    Rockpool Bar and Grill at the Casino complex, Southbank Expensive but great steaks and seafood. Food is good even in the bar.
    Red Emperor at Southgate, Southbank. Excellent Chinese food and Yum Cha at lunchtime.
    Blue Train at Southgate, Southbank. Great for breakfast, a quick wood-fired pizza, good quality fast food.
    The Botanical Hotel in Domain Rd, Sth Yarra. Breakfast, lunch and dinner all good.
    Donovan’s in St Kilda. Great waterside location and good food.Perfect location if you strike a sunny day.
    I can’t recommend any bars but generally all of them have great selections of Australian and overseas beers, cocktails and wine both Australian and imported.

    • Logan says:

      John, I really wish I could be there, but I’m in Germany and won’t be back home until September.

      I can definitely second that recommendation for Blue Train – the breakfast is fantastic! The Wine Bar around the corner (was it Walter’s Wine Bar?) is also good.

      ‘Chocolate Buddha’ at Federation Square was another great one, and ‘Taxi’ over the way had a good rep when I was there last. See if Ed’s got a copy of the Good Food Guide in Melbourne.

      Haven’t been to Bris-vegas for years, but Michael’s Riverside Restaurant was good, well, Marco’s just next door is better. They’re both on Eagle street.

      That’s all I’ve got for now. Have a great trip!

  • Roger says:

    Hey John,

    If you’re interested in seeing “the great man” (Barassi), you probably want to head down and eat at a restaurant in Fitzroy Street, St Kilda.

    … Barass lives in St Kilda and most days you’ll see him walking his dog.

    Anyway, St. Kilda is the perfect spot for a little bit of “mischief”. (And with Ed being the perfect host, I’m sure he’s already penciled in a beer or 10 down there with you)

    Oh… And make sure you go to “the Espy”. The smell of musty beer as you enter will take you back to your wild days of rock n roll!

    Have fun!

  • Jack Causevic says:

    Yhellow, John

    Great to see that somebody is finally coming down to Australia to happily enlighten us on the topic of ‘internet marketing/copywriting’, we need it :P.

    I promise to be a V.I.P at the Brisbane seminar, and I guess I’ll come and say ‘hi’ if I have the chance…

    Meanwhile, my father is actually the owner of a coffee shop – Come along, and we’ll whip you up a nice free meal. Just to make it sound ‘good’, my father has had tonnes of restaurant experience around Manly (in sydney). The coffee shop we own is in the ‘Yeronga Pool’ and if you go to the brisbane times website, some blogger has typed up some nice things about us… In addition to this, our ‘mini-cafe’ was visited by world famous chef, Ben O’Donoghue who is good friends with my father. Despite the funny positioning (in the middle of a pool). The food is…. I’ll leave that for a surprise 🙂

    You’ll enjoy it >_o^_^o)>C-Ya-There, Hopefully… <(o^_^<)

  • Michael Vanderdonk says:

    Glad you’re making it down under.
    Depending on where you’re staying, there are a few nice bars and micro breweries in and around Darling harbour in Sydney. Most of these get quite busy most night but you can usually find a table. If you want something more quiet, search aroung The Rocks.
    As already mentioned, climb the bridge. Book it now, as it’s popular. Centerpiont tower has a good view, and you can walk outside if you’re game.
    Darlinghurst and kings cross is always entertaining.
    For a day trip, the Blue mountains has some nice scenery.

  • peter webb says:

    Hi John,
    Good restaurant in flinders lane Melbourne (behind Sofitel Hotel) called Cumulus Inc-great for dinner or lunch or the Italian Restaurant in Flinders Lane (back of 101 Collins -more sophisticated but not more fun than Cumulus
    Also I’d check out Chapel St Prahran -very diverse shopping and eating-also Brunswick Street Fitzroy -lots of different & alternative restaurants and really interesting lifestyle & people
    Try and catch a game of Aussie rules -indoors at Ethiad Stadium or in open at MCG (probably one of the best sporting stadiums in the world -ask locals when here which is best game to go to preferably one that will have the best crowd and atmosphere- You have already seen the Great Ocean Road –
    Also if can on a Wednesday Friday and Sat you can go up to the VIC Market (very close to city area -in Elizabeth Street)-great atmosphere and shopping that will enable you to buy your family some one off Aussie and other nationalities products -well worth a visit,
    Most of all enjoy us the people as we are a laid back friendly mob and really appreciate you coming to our City

    Take care,
    PS good suggestions form other who have responded as well re places etc to go in Melb.

  • Dan B says:

    Dunno if it’s still there, but Ednas Table in Sydney was one of the best experiences from our last trip. Atmosphere, service and the aboriginal dishes were quite an experience.

  • Doug Kercher says:

    Hi John,
    I always remember your one legged golfer ad as I am a golf pro. I seem to recall once reading you are a keen golfer. If you want a game at one of the Gold Coast’s or Brisbane’s finest golf courses, drop me an email. I have some great strategies to take golfers to the next level. Cheers Doug

  • ken says:

    Enjoy Australia; I remember when I did sales training for the entire country of Fiji (the govt hired me, I did “Selling with ‘Bula'” training; “Bula” is the greeting they say in Fiji, like my “Selling with Aloha” I did in Hawaii)… I met a lot of people from Australia, as they vacationed in Fiji a lot… very nice people. Should be great to see Australia again first-hand, very scenic beaches.

    Congrats on learning Angus’ lead on “You Shook Me”… he’s a great guitar player… I like watching AC/DC “Live at Donington” dvd… one of my favorites; some intense guitar (and drum) work on that dvd.


  • Craig Woolven says:

    G’Day John (and Road Dog Stan),

    Thing Number One – I don’t yet have a business to Hot Seat, but would happily pay to sit in on one as a silent observer. ( I emailed Diane about this a few weeks ago when I heard you were coming to Sydney)

    Thing Number Two – Ideas for the Sydney down time. As already pointed out, the Bridge Climb is probably the best bang for your tourist buck and will provide a long lasting memory imprint of Sydney. Assuming you are staying in the city, Darling Harbour is a great all round place for meals and drinks. If there in the evening, dine on the east side. It can get a bit breezy this time of year and the east side is better protected. If there during the day, you can hire a water taxi for an hour to take you for a harbour tour, including the beaches where white pointers are prominent. “The Rocks” (near the Bridge Climb HQ) is a good place for souvenir hunting for that special something to take back home to the women folk.
    You will be pleased to hear Carlton thumped Collingwood yesterday 104 to 53. At the end of Round 8 they are 6th on the ladder. On June 6th, Carlton will be out to stomp on the Brisbane Lions at the Brisbane Gabba. (sorry, no home game)

    Enjoy your stay.


    P.S. Bonus Pedestrian Safety Tip……Look right……look left……look right again……..the cars are coming at ya from the other direction here.


  • G’day Mate!

    I trust you’ll be meeting with Market Samurai’s Brent, Eugene and Andrew in Melbourne.

    Paul Novak is in flight back to Brisbane as I type (paul@novakmedia.tv 617-3009-0013) so this is being sent on his behalf (he also has the source for TimTams)

    Finally, you should rest assure that your “Kenny Roger’s look” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yy61x_7iazc will go over well down under.

    Sherrie Rose
    The Love Linguist

  • Kevin Dudd says:

    Hey John,

    If you’re in Brisbane there’s really only two things to do.

    The first is get yourself to the Breakfast Creek hotel for a steak and beer. Bloody fantastic.

    The second is jump a cab to Paddo, grab a few more beers and make your way to a place called the Velvet Cigar. You can Google it and no it’s not a gay bar. There’s another pub up the road that have live bands if you get bored with the nekkid girls.

    Knock yourself out while you’re there and if you need a drinking buddy who would love to hear some war stories let me know!

  • Doug Kercher says:

    Hi John,
    Any thoughts about a golf game in Brisbane (see previous post), cheers doug

  • Draining Coopers? I thought you were a Carlton Draught man. 😉

    For the next few weeks, The Blues’ playing schedule looks like this:

    29th of May – Melbourne (you’ll be in Sydney)

    6th June – Brisbane (you’ll be in Melboune)

    12th June – Melbourne (you’ll be in Brisbane)

    If you’re still around in Melbourne on June 26h, their Melbourne game is a big one – a grudge-match against arch-rivals Essendon.

    We’ll be in Brisbane and Melbourne at around the times you are – and are happy to come drag you and Stan out of your comfy hotel rooms and into the harsh Australian sun (albeit, during Winter). 😉


  • Mick Webb says:

    Hey John,

    I can recommend a fantastic Spanish restaurant called MoVida in Hosier Lane off Flinders St, does a mad degustation menu, fantastic …. As far as bars and clubs go, lots of great pokey little bars off Little Collins St if in the City, or head to Brunswick St, great nightlife and left field locals that make for a great night on the tiles …

    Looking forward to seeing you!

  • Kell says:

    Wow you are in for a HUGE trip. I’m on the Sunny Coast near Brisbane and just down the road from Australia Zoo.A perfect day trip passing mountains that look like gorillas, wrestle some crocs and mabye met Bindy Erwin ( I’ll ring them and see what I can do) .Let me know I’d love to show you my stomping ground and teach you some good ol’ Aussie slag. Ah and by the way we have an amazing nudie beach that the whale mums and calves are passing at the moment. In Queensland we don’t get winter, just a cooler breeze which sends people like lizards to the beach to warm up lazing naked in the sun!

  • Jen G says:

    Hi John,

    I’m looking forward to seeing you in Sydney. There’s so many wonderful things to see here during your down time. Here are some of my favourites:

    1. Centrepoint Tower. They have great views from up there and now, if you’re brave, you can do the skywalk. They also have a buffet in the restaurant.
    2. Queen Victoria Building. VERY expensive shopping, but one of the world’s most beautiful shopping centres.
    3. Watson’s Bay. You can take a short ferry ride from Circular Quay. It’s a lovely place to walk around. Plus, they have the best fish and chips in Sydney. There’s also some more up-market places to eat there.
    4. The Rocks. There’s lots of places to eat around the Rocks and enjoy the view of the Harbour. There’s also lots of history, if that interests you.
    5. Featherdale Wildlife Park. If you have time to get out of the city a little…this is the best place to see Australian wildlife. We take all our international visitors there so they can pat a koala, feed kangaroos etc. It’s more interactive than any of the other wildlife experiences.

    Anyway, that’s just a few ideas. I hope it helps. If you want someone to show you around anywhere, just drop me a line. We’d be happy to share our city with you.

  • Charles says:

    Hi John,

    Would love to explore the possibility of catching up for a face-to-face consultation whilst you are in Brisbane.

    Let me know what is going to work for you.



  • J.C. says:

    Darn it. I missed out.

  • I could not understand the word “Aussies”. What is the meaning of it?
    Water Coolers Brisbane

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