The Envy Cure

I had a teaching moment with my 10 year old Son and my 4 year old daughter about this. My daughter said she got to watch a movie in her classroom. My son replied with “awwww..i’m so jealous” In that moment I said to him, “Do you think it’s better to be happy for your sister that she got to watch a movie or sad that you didn’t.” …in the adult world, it’s almost an instinct to have a pissing contest. A rising tide lifts all boats….easier said than done..takes practice I guess.

Wow John
Thanks for putting it into words so clearly.
I left my jealousy somewhere behind me in actually this very way, and still reading this post got me to appreciate being me again and even more clearly, since you brought this process up to my consciousness and added a kinesthetic dimension to it I didn’t have before.
Keep it real.

Took me until the age of 37 to learn it… I had to un-get (aka lose) all the things that were “supposed” to make me happy. I think there’s a reason most babies are pretty damn happy. They haven’t learned to be unhappy yet, or envious, or resentful. They don’t worry about food until they’re hungry, drink until they’re thirsty, or bed until they need to have a nap.

They’re perfectly content kicking back, shitting themselves and giggling while soaking up all the wonders of the world around them.

Shit John. Now I’m envious of babies. Look what you did to me.

Wow, what an article article, sir! I read it with great interest and was eager to know what solution you were to offer. And, to tell the truth, I have come to the same solution while dealing with my jealousy. I am God-fearing man, former pastor and a long-term missionary to SE Asia, now a preacher and I still have to deal with jealousy.

I use that simple cure you described above. But also I have found that when I walk with the Lord, He makes me free from the demon of envy. He takes it away from my heart so that I can see people from different perspective – from the perspective of love. It’s so much better and I enjoy it a lot. But I can tell that when I don’t have time for the Lord and His Word, envy quickly returns.

To sum it up, my hope is my Lord. He changes my inner person from bad to good.

God bless you, sir.

Egon

Hey John, thanks for throwing a line mate.

Nothing like an invitation to self awareness and kick-in-the-ass to disconnect from the pinball experience of comparisons and trying to grow somebody else’s lawn.

Funny thing… the human condition.

I appreciate your insights, they are often a soul-salve for me to help remain connected to terra-firma, while still enjoying the wonder of discovery. Happy day to you!

I had an instructor recently who opened her class with the perfect line, and it was,”there’s room for you.” So stop trying to do everyone else and just do you.

You can use this to help people too.

I will use another\’s envy to reframe their desires, to reflect back to them what it is they want, because it often is a clue to the life people desire, but are hiding from themselves.

To say what you want, to voice your dreams to yourself and then to another, is more difficult than we tend to assume. We talk around it, we go for the thing that is almost it, but few actually go for what they want, if they even know what they want.

And envy can be a beautiful path to discovering yourself, if it doesn\’t destroy with the caustic wrought of resentment and screwy ideas about a life well lived.

Maybe the best definition of success is when you don\’t want to be anyone else, when you don\’t want to live another\’s life, when you would never take another\’s reality over your own, accept for a brief visit to fulfill the curiosity of another\’s subjective experience.

What if I tried somebody else on and liked it better? I always am, changing but still the same.

What a beautiful mess it all is, life, chaotic and calm, and perfectly confusing.

We all live in an imagination; the question is whose imagination are you living in, theirs or yours?

I enjoy dropping into your imagination from time to time, like a lucid reality, where the insanity is embraced for what it is, part of the pleasure of existence, a taste of crazy to experience.

From a cafe in Sintra Portugal and two espressos in,
Emeric

John,
This has always been one of my absolute favorite Rants.
Forever timely and Evergreen I grok it entirely!
Thanks,
Larry E

Thanks John. I wrote a autobiographical book, not an autobiography about my life (I wasn’t that full of myself!), but it was an account of the crazy things that happened when I really began to listen to and follow through with my intuition. (By the way, paying attention to your intuition helps you become more of the authentic you, the true you). So I totally get where you’re coming from. Thanks for all that you write. Take care.

Thank you for writing this, John. I’ve had a great number of copywriting successes the last few years at Agora Financial, including writing a promo which generated $30 million over two years. But I still find my self struggling with envy. . One of the things I’ve discovered about the life of a copywriter is how easy it is to fall into “envy trap.” Very easy to look at your numbers versus others, and to allow this to affect you mood.

Though competitive spirit is a very good thing… envy usually ends up making me feel just plain rotten.

John.

I speed read your entire blog and reread both of your books, to become really serious about starting my freelance career. It’s a treasure box of wisdom. I’m really glad I did. Thank you very much, and thank you for reminding me this envy cure again.

As usual, it came right on schedule.

PS. When can we expect your own autobiography John?