The RANT

The Rest Of Your Freakin’ Life (one more time)

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Wednesday, 6:50pm
Reno, NV
“Hey, you bastards, I’m still here!” (Steve McQueen as Papillon, floating away to freedom…)

Howdy…

I’m re-publishing — for what has become a very popular tradition on this blog — one of the more influential posts I’ve ever written.

It’s a good one, worth rereading even if you read it before.

What you’re about to encounter is a slightly tweaked way of looking at the best way to start your new year…

… but this tweak makes all the difference in the world. I’ve heard from many folks that this particular technique finally helped them get a perspective on where they’re at, where they’re going…

… and why they care about getting there.

So, even if you’ve read this post before… it’s worth another look. Especially now, as you gaze down the yawning gullet of 2013, trying to wrap your brain around a plan to make the year your bitch.

This is a critical step for entering any new period of your life. To keep your life moving ahead, you need to set some goals, dude. And most goal-setting tactics, I’ve found, are useless. Worst among them is the traditional New Year’s resolutions (which seldom last through January).

This tactic I’m sharing with you (again) is something I’ve used, very successfully, for decades…

… to reach goals, to clarify the direction of my life, and to change habits. I first shared it in the old Rant newsletter a few years back, and I’ve hauled it out here in the blog on a regular basis.  It’s timeless, classic stuff that will never let you down.

So let’s dive in. Here’s the relevant part of the post (slightly edited):

“Goal Setting 101 And
The January 15th Letter”

Yeah, yeah, I know a chat about goals can quickly turn into a boring, pedantic lecture. But then, so can a chat about space flight.

And, in reality, both space flight and your goals are VERY exciting things.

Or should be.

It’s all in the telling.

What I’m not going to discuss are “resolutions”. Those are bogus pseudo-goals that have the staying power of pudding in a microwave.

No. It’s merely a coincidence that I’m suggesting a review of your goals in January, just after the New Year’s supposed fresh start.

I mean…there’s not much else to do, so why not sit down and plan out the rest of your life.

This is, of course, a very damp, cold, and bleak time of year. The depths of winter and discontent.

A good percentage of the population suffers fleeting depression because of lack of sunlight… thanks to the geniuses behind Daylight Savings Time, who arrange for dusk to arrive around 2:30 in the afternoon in these parts.

We also just got slammed with back-to-back-to-back “Storms of the Century”, each one dumping a record load of snow on us. I sent photos to friends, and many emailed back wondering when I’d gone to Antarctica to live.

We had a little cabin fever brewing. Didn’t help when the local PBS channel ran a special on the Donner Party, either. Three feet of snow drifting down, the lights flickering, enough ice on the road to make the SUV sidle like a Red Wing goon slamming someone into the boards.

The safest place was home… but man, the walls start to close in after a few days.

I’m telling you, I had excuses up the yin-yang for allowing my senses to get a little dulled. The natural response is to turn your mind off, and hibernate until March. And I succumbed. Started moping around, watching CSI: Miami reruns instead of reading a book, surfing the Net for stuff I didn’t care about… you know the drill.

I’m sure you’ve done your own version of it now and again.

And I’m also sure you already know that no amount of “buck up” happy talk will mitigate the gloom.

In fact, there are a few enlightened health pro’s who say we should let our bodies wind down every year or so. Get a full system-flush type of cold, crawl under the covers for a few days and let the demons and other bad stuff bubble to the surface. So you can purge the crud. Evacuate the used-up bacteria and tube-clogs out of your pipes, physically. And shoo the whispering monsters out of your head.

We’re not perfect creatures. We need to sleep, we need to recharge our batteries, and we need to stop and get our bearings. At least once a year. So don’t beat yourself up for the occasional down period. We all have them, and the healthiest folks just roll with it. It’s not good to repress this stuff.

It only becomes a problem when you sink into clinical depression. That’s the cold, empty state where nothing looks good, and hope is an absurd memory.

I’ve been there. Several times. The year I turned 30 (for example) I lost my job, my girlfriend and my place to live all within a 45-day stretch.

That shit can wear you down.

Now, I have two things to say about this:

Thing Numero Uno: If you think you’re losing a grip on your mental state, seek professional help. Don’t head straight for pharmaceutical land, though — give “talk therapy” a try with a real, qualified psychotherapist.

Choose this therapist carefully. You’re going to dump every secret you have on him. You may need to plow through a couple to find one that clicks with you (just as you might have to try out several dentists or plumbers to get a good match). (And yes, you should regard this therapist just as you would your dentist — they’re not gonna become your new best friend, but they will bring a professional expertise to the table during the time you need them. And you only need to see them until you get your head straight… which might be a short time or long time. Again — just like you may need serious dental work, or just a cleaning once a year. Figure it out.)

Keep in mind the fact that everyone goes through bumpy emotional states. And that the percentage of people who actually do lose it every year is rather small.

That’s why talking about your problems with someone who has perspective can be so beneficial — the first thing you learn is that you aren’t alone. And what you’re going through is not abnormal.

Most of the time, you’re probably going to be fine. Even when your problems seem overwhelming. There are tools available to help your brain cope. You don’t often come across these tools on your own.

This kind of talk-therapy is one of the few times the “science” of psychology earns its keep — because finding out how others successfully dealt with the same nonsense you’re suffering through can change everything. Seriously — often, just discovering that you’re not alone in what you’re going through, that others have successfully navigated similar troubles, and that the folks who study human behavior and thinking patterns now have really simple (and super-effective) ways to obliterate feeling overwhelmed can solve much of what’s currently holding you back.

A good book to read (while you’re waiting for the spring thaw) is “Learned Optimism” by Martin Seligman. I’ve recommended it before, and it deserves another nod. (The blurb on the back cover, from the New York Times Book Review, starts with “Vaulted me out of my funk…”)

I haven’t read the book in a few years, but I remember the main lesson well. A study, explained up front, stands out: Someone tested the “happiness” quotient of a vast sample of people, including Holocaust survivors.

And it turns out that, at some point in your life, Abraham Lincoln was right — you are as happy as you decide to be.

This is startling news to anyone lost in despair. Because it seems like you’ve been forced to feel that way. With no choice.

But it’s not the case. The happiness study revealed that you can not tell from a person’s current attitude what sort of trauma they had gone through earlier in life. People who had suffered horribly could be happy as larks, while silver-spoon never-stubbed-a-toe folks were miserable.

The difference? Attitude. Optimistic people work through setbacks and trauma… while pessimists settle into a funk that can’t be budged.

And it’s a CHOICE. At some point in your life, you choose to either live in gloom or sunlight.

This realization rocks many folk’s boat. Especially the pessimists. They dominate society, politics, business, everything. And they are very protective of their gloom and doom outlook. Invested, heavily, in proving themselves right about the inherent nastiness of life.

Maybe you’re one of ‘em.

If you are, you’re killing yourself, dude.

The guys in lab coats who study this stuff say that heart disease rates are HALF for optimists over pessimists. So, even if you doubt the ability to measure “happiness” — and it is a rather rocky science — you still can’t deny the stats on dropping dead from a gloomy ticker.

Now, I am most assuredly NOT a clear-eyed optimist. I get creepy feelings around people who are too happy all the time.

But I do prefer having a good time, and appreciating the finer things in life (like a deep breath of cold alpine air, or the salty whip of an ocean wave around my ankles, or a secret smile from the wonderful woman I live with).

I’m just good at balancing out the bad with the good.

Being in direct response helps. Lord knows, there’s a LOT of bad with every piece of good news in this wacky biz.

Gary Halbert and I had a term we used for years: We’re “pessimistic optimists”. (Or maybe we’re optimistic pessimists. I forget.)

How does that work? Easy.

We expected horrible atrocities at every turn… and rejoiced when we defied Fate and unreasonable success rained down on our undeserving heads. We grooved on the good stuff in life… and just nodded sagely at the bad stuff and moved past it as quickly as possible. Maybe cop a lesson or two as we scurried by.

If you focus on the bad things that can go wrong, you’ll never crawl out of bed in the morning.

When you finally realize that — not counting health problems — pretty much everything bad that business, or relationships, or politics can throw at you will not kill you… then you can begin to relax.

And eagerly court the Unknown by starting another project.

Have you ever had your heart broken? Hurts like hell, doesn’t it. Feels like your life is over.

Well, from my perspective, sitting here at “way past 50” and pretty darned happy, all those romances-gone-wrong that broke my heart long ago look just plain silly now. And my resulting deep depressions — where I was sure my life was over — are just tiresome lessons I had to get through.

Not a one of those ladies was worth a burp of angst. They were fine people, I’ll agree to that. A few were exceptional (and very skilled at certain man-pleasing arts).

But worth a Shakespearean suicide?

No way.

It’s taken me a while, but I’m now a certified realist. My youthful idealism has drained away, and my brushes with hate-everything dogma never took.

And guess what? Contrary to what an embarrassingly huge number of self-righteous folks would have you believe… being a realist has not dented my passion for life one little bit. In fact, it has opened up a whole new world of unexplainable spirituality (which cannot be contained within any formal religion).

I’m not against religion. Let’s have no “save my soul” emails here. One of my favorite friends to argue with has a doctorate in theology. And I have many other friends committed to various belief systems ranging from fundamentalist to Buddhist to humanist. We get along because, on a deep level, we understand that true spirituality transcends whatever way you choose to express it or appreciate it.

I loathe black-and-white views of the world. It’s a shame that our great country has descended to this “you’re nuts if you don’t agree with me” mentality… but it’s part of the pendulum that’s been swinging back and forth ever since we left the jungle.

The far edges of our institutions — political, religious, cultural, all of it — are in spiritual and emotional “lock down”. They’re sure they’re right, they’re positive you’re wrong, and neither facts nor logic will sway their position.

Mushy liberals seem astonished that anyone would ever not love us, or want to destroy our culture. Repressed conservatives seem intent on crushing everyone who pisses them off (and that’s a lot of people).

It’s “whatever” versus “blind obedience”. And neither works so hot in the real world. I have no use for dogma, or idealism, or punishingly-harsh rules that have been cooked up by hypocrites.

Hey — I’m in no position to tell anyone how to live their life. I’ve screwed up plenty, and if I have any wisdom at all, it’s only because I’ve survived some truly hairy situations.

But I don’t believe anyone else is in a position to tell you how to live, either. That’s gotta be your decision.

And it’s a damn hard one to make.

Fortunately, while I can’t tell you how to live, I can move some smooth (and proven) advice in your direction. Take it or leave it… but give it a listen anyway, cuz my track record on successful advice-giving is fairly impressive.

And I’m telling you that having a hateful, brooding attitude will stunt your growth. It will make you a smaller person, a less-wise person, an older and feebler person. And you won’t grow. Not spiritually, not physically, not emotionally. Not in your business life, either.

Most people don’t want to grow, anyway. Growth only comes from movement and change… and the vast majority of the folks walking the earth with us today are terrified of change.

You can’t blame them, really. Change is a form of death. Whatever was before, dies. And whatever comes next must be nurtured with devotion and sacrifice.

That’s hard. That’s a hard way to live, always dying and being reborn.

And because it’s hard, it’s avoided.

Well, screw that.

I suspect, if you’re reading this, you are not afraid of change. But you may not yet understand the power that REALLY giving yourself to change offers.

And that brings us to…

Thing Numero Dos: Goals are all about change.

That’s a subtle point many people gloss over. Rookie goal-setters often get stuck on stuff like quitting smoking, or vague concepts like “become a better person”.

Or “get rich”.

That seldom works. Goals need to be specific… and they need to involve profound change in order to take hold.

Halbert often talked about “image suicide” — the necessity of killing and burying the “self” you are so heavily invested in, before you can move to a new level of success.

I see this all the time in my consultations. Biz owners refuse to do even slightly risky marketing, for fear of damaging their “reputations.”

And my question to them is: What reputation?

Unless you’re the top dog in your niche, no one gives a rat’s ass about what you think or do. No one is looking at your marketing for inspiration or condemnation, because you aren’t the guy to look at.

No. What these scaredy-cats are talking about when they say “reputation” is what their family and friends think of them. And that’s a sure sign of a losing attitude. That ain’t Operation MoneySuck.

My colleague Ron LeGrand, the real estate guru, is one of the best natural salesmen I’ve ever met. The guy understands the fundamental motivating psychology of a prospect at a master’s level.  And he knows that one of the major obstacles he faces in every sale… is what the prospect’s spouse (usually the wife) will say.

She can nix the sale with a sneer. Or she can nix it in the prospect’s head, as he imagines that sneer.

Ron counters both sides of the objection expertly. He encourages the prospect to get his spouse involved in the decision, so she becomes invested in it. Or, he suggests waiting until the first big check comes in… and letting the money explain to her about what you’re up to.

This is the reality of most people’s lives. As much as they want what you offer… they are terrified of making a mistake. Cuz they’ll pay dearly for it at home.

It’s a huge deal-killer.

That’s why you include lots of “reason why” copy in your pitch — to give your buyer ammunition for explaining his decision to the doubters in his life. However, as Ron knows, the best (and simplest) “reason why” is results.

Money, as they say, talks.

The top marketers seldom give a moment’s thought to what a risky tactic might do to their “reputation”. They don’t really care what people think about them. You can’t bank criticism.

I know many marketers who are involved in projects they are passionate about… but which bore their spouses to tears. Some (like Howard Stern’s former wife) are even deeply embarrassed. But they don’t complain too much. Because the money’s so good.

Aw, heck. I could go on and on about this. The story of Rodale’s shock and dismay at the brutally-honest ad I wrote for their timid “sex book” is a great example. They refused to mail it, because of their “reputation”. Yet, after it accidentally did mail, and became a wildly-successful control for 5 years, they suddenly decided their reputation could handle it after all.

The people who get the most done in life are all extreme risk-takers. They embrace change, because growth is impossible without it.

But you don’t go out and start changing things willy-nilly.

You need goals.

And you need a plan.

Now, there are lots of books out there that tell you how to set goals. I recently found, in a moldy banker’s box, the ad for Joe Karbo’s book “The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches” that I’d responded to back in 1982. The exact ad! With the order form torn out… it was the first direct mail pitch I’d ever encountered, and it changed my life forever. Joe’s book was essentially a treatise on setting goals. And it’s good.

It was a wake-up call for me. I’m having that crinkly old ad framed. Can’t imagine why I kept it, but I did. Pack-rat riches.

If you can’t find that particular book, there are dozens of newer goal-setting guides on the shelves. But they’re all based on the same formula:

1. Decide what you want.

2. Write it down, and be specific.

3. Read the list often, imaging as you read that you have already achieved each goal.

What this does is alter the underpinnings of your unconscious. When one of your goals is to earn a million bucks this year, and that goal burns bright in the back of your mind, each decision you make will be influenced.

So, for example, you won’t accept a permanent job somewhere that pays $50,000 a year. Cuz that isn’t going to help you attain your goal.

The problem is this:  To earn a mil in a year, you need to average around $50,000 every two weeks. This is why it can take a while to get your goal-setting chops honed. As I’ve said many times, most folks don’t know what they want.

And they aren’t prepared for the changes necessary to get what they want, once they do decide on a goal.

What kind of guy earns $50,000 every two weeks, like clockwork? It takes a certain level of business savvy to create that kind of steady wealth. It doesn’t fall into your lap.

What kind of guy makes a windfall of a million bucks in one chunk? That’s another kind of savvy altogether.

In that same moldy banker’s box, I also found a bunch of my early goal lists. And I’m shocked at how modest my aims were. At the time — I was in the first months of going out on my own, a totally pathetic and clueless rookie — I couldn’t even imagine earning fifty K a year. My first goal was $24,000 as a freelancer. And to score a better rental to live in. Find a date for New Year’s. Maybe buy a new used car.

Listen carefully: I met those goals. As modest as they were, it would have been hard not to. I needed them to be modest, because I was just getting my goal-setting chops together. And I wasn’t sure if I was wasting my time even bothering to set goals.

Let me assure you, it was NOT a waste of time.

The lists I found covered several later years, too. And what’s fascinating is that many of the more specific goals I set down were crossed out — I wanted those goals, but didn’t feel confident about obtaining them.

So I crossed them out, and forgot about them.

A couple of decades later, I realize that I’ve attained every single one of those “forgotten” goals. The big damn house, the love of my life, the professional success, even the hobbies and the guitars and the sports car.

I’m stunned. This is powerful voodoo here.

The universe works in mysterious ways, and you don’t have to belong to a religion to realize this. The whole concept of “ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened” was well-known by successful people long before Luke and Matthew wrote it down.

The keys are action. Movement.

Ask, seek, knock.

These simple actions will change your life forever.

Back to making a million in a year: Some guys know what they need to do to make this goal real. They’ve done it before, or they’ve come close.

Setting the goal is serious business for them… because they are well aware of the tasks they’ve assigned themselves. Take on partners, put on seminars, create ad campaigns, build new products. Get moving on that familiar path.

I’ve known many people who started the year with such a goal… who quickly modified it downward as the reality of the task became a burden. Turns out they didn’t really want the whole million after all. Half of that would suffice just fine. To hell with the work required for the full bag of swag.

Other guys don’t know what they need to do to earn a mil. So their goal really is: Find out what I need to do to earn a million bucks.

Their initial tasks are to ask, seek, and knock like crazy. And change the way they move and act in the world. Because they must transform themselves into the kind of guy who earns a million bucks in one year.

Right now, they aren’t that guy.

So, for example, reading “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” suddenly becomes an “A” task, while remodeling the kitchen gets moved to the back of the burner. Sharpening your ability to craft a killer sales pitch becomes more important than test-driving the new Porsche.

More important, even, than dating Little Miss Perfect. And test-driving her new accessories.

Tough choice?

Nope. When you get hip to the glory of focused change, you never lament leaving the “old” you behind.

It will be hard, sometimes, no doubt about it. Especially when you discover your old gang no longer understands you, or mocks your ambition. They liked the old, non-threatening you. They want him to come back.

But you’ve changed. And hot new adventures are going to take up a lot more of your time now.

My trick to setting goals is very simple:

Every January 15th, I sit down and write myself a letter, dated exactly one year ahead.

And I describe, in that letter, what my life is like a year hence. (So, in 2012, I dated the letter to myself as January 15, 2013.)

It’s a subtle difference to the way other people set goals. Took me a long time to figure it out, too.

For many years, I wrote out goals like “I live in a house on the ocean”, and “I earn $24,000 a year”. And that worked. But it was like pushing my goals.

Writing this letter to myself is more like pulling my goals. For me, this works even better. Every decision I make throughout the year is unconsciously influenced, as I am pulled toward becoming the person I’ve described.

But here’s where I do it very differently: My goals are deliberately in the “whew” to “no friggin’ way” range. Mega-ambitious, to downright greedy.

There’s a sweet spot in there — doable, if I commit myself, but not so outrageous that I lose interest because the required change is too radical.

I’m pretty happy with myself these days. Took me a long, hard slog to get here, and I earned every step. And I want to continue changing, because I enjoy change. But I don’t need to reinvent myself entirely anymore.

So here’s what makes this ambitious goal-setting so effective: I don’t expect to REACH most of them.

In fact, I’m happy to get half of what I wanted.

There’s a ton of psychology at work there. The person I describe a year away often resembles James Bond more than the real me. Suave, debonair, flush, famous, well-traveled… and in peak health. I hit all the big ones.

However, long ago I realized that trying to be perfect was a sure way to sabotage any goal I set. Perfectionists rarely attain anything, because they get hung up on the first detail that doesn’t go right.

Being a good goal-setter is more like successful boxing — you learn to roll with the punches, cuz you’re gonna get hit.

You just stay focused on the Big Goal. And you get there however you can.

I’m looking at last year’s letter. I was a greedy bastard when I wrote it, and I didn’t come close to earning the income figure I set down.

Yet, I still had my best year ever.

And — here’s the kicker — I would NOT have had such a great year, if I wasn’t being pulled ahead by that letter. There were numerous small and grand decisions I made that would have gone another way without the influence of what I had set down.

I didn’t travel to the places I had listed. But I did travel to other, equally-fun places. I didn’t finish that third novel. But I did position it in my head, and found the voice I want for narration. That’s a biggie. That was a sticking point that would have kept the novel from ever getting finished.

Now, it’s on power-glide.

There’s another “hidden” benefit to doing this year-ahead letter: It forces you to look into the future.

A lot of people make their living peering ahead and telling everyone else what to expect. Most do a piss-poor job of it — weathermen are notorious for getting it wrong, as are stock market analysts, wannabe trend-setters, and political prognosticators.

Yet, they stay in business. Why? Because the rest of the population is terrified of looking into the future. That would require some sincere honesty about their current actions… since what the future holds is often the consequence of what you’re doing right now.

If you’re chain-smoking, chasing street hookers, and living on doughnuts, your future isn’t pretty. For example.

Or if you’ve maxed out all your credit cards, and haven’t done your due diligence to start bringing in moolah, your future isn’t nice, either.

No one can “see” into the future for real. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. In fact, it’s easy, when you have a little experience in life.

Things you do today will have consequences tomorrow. If you put up a website today for a product, and you do everything you can to bring traffic to it and capture orders… your consequence can be pretty and nice.

Sure, you may get hit by a bus while fetching the morning paper… but letting that possibility scare you off of trying for something better is for pessimists (who are scheduled for early checkout).

You have enormous control over your future.

And once you realize that, you can set out to start shaping it.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. If you’re one of those people who’ve been skimming blogs like this… never reading anything carefully and slowly, and digesting what’s on the page… then I have one more suggestion for you: Stop doing that.

Most of the uber-successful folks I know (and I know a lot) have both skimming skills AND “deep reading” skills. And they know when to use them. You skim to get overviews, which may turn out to be flawed (because you missed something crucial in your skimming). You deep-read when you want to absorb something important, and you need to make the impression of what you read stick in your brain.

Right now, there are readers here who should be seriously considering the courses and opportunities I offer in the right-hand column of this blog. This is the stuff that has launched freelance careers, transformed biz owners into ad-writing monsters, and armed both rookie and veteran entrepreneurs with the fundamentally awesome skills of success. Quickly, and with the surety of proven-in-the-real-world tactics and advice.

So stop screwing around. If you need further help in getting your career going, or in crafting the kind of marketing that will boost profits through the roof… then consider the offerings on this page an essential task in your new list of goals. This is the real deal. No fluff, no nonsense — just honest, solid, proven stuff from a respected veteran of biz success.

Meanwhile, get busy with your January 15th letter.

P.P.S. One of your main goals, if you’re a serious entrepreneur and you haven’t mastered slamming out world-class copy yet for your bad self… is to GET bad-ass at it as soon as humanly possible. I don’t care how you do it — find a mentor, start experimenting with one of the many courses or coaching programs out there…

… or, as I recommend, just dive into The Simple Writing System, and be done with your learning curve in just a very short time.

Give yourself at least the OPTION of deciding yes-or-no, with some background, by going to this site and seeing what’s up. At the very least, read some of the testimonials, to get a taste of how powerful the transformation in your life and career can be when you finally get hip to writing salesmanship-infused copy like this.

Go here, right now, and see if this isn’t exactly what you need to move up a few steps, fast…

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60 comments
David Hunter says January 9, 2014

This is my first time reading this post, John. WOW.

One thing I love about this post is… it shows you are human! Everyone thinks that the CEO of a huge company, the mega copywriter (you), movie stars, etc. are untouchables. That’s not so. We all shit in the morning and we all have problems. Agreed, if you are really depressed GET HELP. I’ve gone to counseling before and it helps just talking to a third party.

Ask, Seek, Knock. Yep! One thing Dan Kennedy told my sister, which I’ll never forget, is…. “You don’t get what you don’t ask for.” I live my life by that.

Second, I love the idea of writing a letter a year ahead. I’m working on mine right….. now.

Reply
    John Carlton says January 9, 2014

    You nailed it, David. We’re all flawed, vulnerable beings in a concrete jungle, but we still get to do our best when we get the shot, and sometimes it just works out. The thing is to keep after it, after the dream or the goal or the feeling, whatever is kicking you in the butt… and never give up. The main thing newcomers to my crap have trouble with is how so many of my stories are about me — but that’s the point of my entire guru career: I made every possible mistake, just royally screwed up… but crawled back up each time, and fixed what was missing, and then got back into the fray. The stories are all real, and sometimes hilarious… and the lessons are real. Nobody — ever — goes straight from having a goal to reaching it without getting a little bloodied, humiliated or semi-crushed. The ones who win just say “yeah, so what? Let’s try it again”.

    I love that Kennedy quote. He and I have reformed our friendship, after I spoke onstage with him a few times last last in Nashville. He’s such a great guy, and you can’t read his stuff without coming away with a great quote. It’s been wonderful being able to work with guys like him and the writers I’ve known over the years.

    Hey, good luck with your letter…

    Reply
      David Hunter says January 10, 2014

      John, I’m sure those “newcomers” who don’t like you talking about yourself in your posts are also the same people who are looking for a get-rich-quick scheme. Sad, they’ll be searching forever. I love hearing stories. We all have a story…

      I love anything Dan Kennedy. My sister worked for him, and we used to have horses with his trainer (We are still very close with his trainer). And, I’ve talked with Dan a few times at the track. He even featured a postcard my boss and I created in his Gold Letter, December 2013 issue. He truly is a GREAT guy! I’m sure you’re great, too! 😉

      Now, I must say, this blog post just changed my life. I was like everyone else, writing goals down (list format) and trying to accomplish them (I want a million dollars, I want this, I want that, blah blah blah), and I rarely hit them. I finished writing my letter, that you said to write, and it has opened up my eyes. WOW.

      To me, it was like writing in a journal looking back on my life in the past year. As I wrote, I kept getting more excited with how my life was and all of the things I accomplished in 2014. Some things I overcame that I thought were against me, and people were telling me it’ll never happen (but it did!). 2013 wasn’t a good year for me, but it all lead up to a great 2014!

      Thank you, John, for sharing! I just found my newest mentor…

      P.S. Could I link your post to my website/blog?? Everyone needs to read your wisdom. EVERYONE.

      Reply
        Eddie P says January 11, 2014

        David – I have to add to what you said about “You don’t get what you don’t ask for”. To quote John Carlton in his book “Entrepreneur’s Guide: “Life is a banquet, and poor suckers are starving to death”. Go read John’s book, it’s well worth reading!

        Reply
Alexandra Shiels says January 9, 2014

Powerful post. I made the mistake of reading it at my day job and teared the hell up. The good news is those tears lead me to write my own letter and I just got done finishing it. Thank you for your wise, honest words.

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    John Carlton says January 9, 2014

    Ah, yes, I’m an easy cry myself, Alexandra. I tear up at Jack In The Box commercials, even. But great way to channel that energy into something proactive — other folks, take note. Grab that passionate vibe, no matter what triggered it (regret, anger, sorrow, loss, joy, whatever), and redirect it into goal setting. Best power generator there is…

    Reply
Jay Ortega says January 9, 2014

Spot on dude…. I read this article last year (or was it the year before..?) and boy, writing the letter to myself was epic for me. Reached half the goals I set, but they weren’t HUGE goals..

This year, forget about it – going all out.

Not going to wait until the 15th to start my new letter, about to bang it out tonight after re-reading this post. Thanks boss, and stay frosty as you always say!!

Jay Ortega

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    John Carlton says January 9, 2014

    Good job, Jay. Getting good at goal-setting requires the same practice, do-overs, and mistake-fix-try-again model as anything else you want to master. Reaching half your goals last year is a damn good scorecard. Congrats.

    Reply
Raymond Duke says January 10, 2014

Hey John,

I like what you said about setting far-fetched long term goals and being ambitious about them. That idea also came up in a book I’m reading (The Rockefeller Habits).

For example, at one point in his life Bill Gates said he wanted to have a personal computer in every home. This was far-fetched at the time. But look at where we are today – I am speaking to you through a personal computer. And that concept has gone even further now that we have personal computers in our hand.

At the rate technology is changing, setting up long term goals that people may literally laugh at is perfectly okay. Your 25 year goal is to have a deli on Mars? Go for it.

Right now the Consumer Electronics Show is wrapping up. I’ve been paying attention to all the gadgets that are coming out soon. It’s surreal. The main takeaway from CES this year is automating your day to day. For example, a coffee maker that senses when you wake up and starts to brew your cup of joe.

I bring up CES because it’s another reminder of how fast the world spins. People have an obsession with being connected to the now. People want to know what’s happening at this very moment in the world. The next shiny object is here today, gone tomorrow.

But your goals… those are solid. Your goals are your goals no matter what “new” technology, news story or Facebook update is in front of you. And when you set long term goals, like Gates did (and is currently doing with malaria, etc.), you are like a meteor traveling through the distraction debris.

I also like what you said a short while back about not trying to do it all yourself. When you have goals, you form bonds, pacts and relationships with other goal-setters. It’s like spiritually handshaking with like-minded people. That’s gold.

One last thing related to goals: lately after setting a goal I’ve been working backwards from it. I ask myself, “What’s going to have to happen right before I hit this goal?” “What happens prior to that?” And so on. When you crawl your way back from you goal to where you are now, you have a road map to your goal. You’ve reverse engineered the process.

I find that that helps. So does reading your posts.

All the best in 2014, John.

Ray

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    John Carlton says January 10, 2014

    Same to you, Ray. Thanks for the note.

    Reply
Eddie P says January 11, 2014

John – I really like your “Balls to the wall” words, it makes your words jump off the page. You hit the nail right in the head – I gotta master writing a “slamming out world-class copy”. I bought your book “Entrepreneur’s Guide to…” on Kindle and loved it! You tell it like it is – no nonsense motivational “Tony Robbins” type, instead “in your face”, straight to the point. I have been re-reading your marketing rebel workbook and listening to your CD rom. I just ordered your “Simple Writing System” earlier this week and I can’t wait to receive it. Reading your blog post is a bit like reading the Gary Halbert letter.

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    Excellent, Eddie — welcome to the wonderful world of the SWS, and a new vision of how to get action in biz and life. I appreciate your kind words. Let us know how you do in the SWS program…

    Reply
Greg P says January 11, 2014

Thanks John.

This post came at the perfect time.

Just yesterday, on my birthday, after months of contemplating stepping out of my present, cozy little comfort zone – I made the decision to risk some capital and take a bold step into a new venture, and a new future.

It’s been a while since I last did that… The exhilaration of the last ‘leap’ had unfortunately faded into nothing more than a mental watermark.

Thanks for the wise words and a candid kick in the butt. I now have a few fresh kernels to gnaw on as I write my letter, and… seize 2014.

Best,
Greg

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    I’m getting down with my own letter, tonight. Seize the year, indeed…

    Reply
John Dennis says January 11, 2014

John,

Your perspective on Goal Setting is a paradigm shift for getting results. Thank you, wholeheartedly, for your wisdom.

Kindest,

John Dennis
West Palm Beach, FL

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    Yeah, I’m not sure if this is wisdom, so much as hard-learned lessons that were realized through tough love and dogged resilience in the face of an unkind and hostile universe… but for me, just getting a glimpse of what actually worked for others was always a revelation worth knowing and going after.

    It is a paradigm shift. Thanks.

    Reply
Dawn M says January 11, 2014

Yikes , John you are the REAL new years firecracker – this is exciting, got my attention, and gave me a big happy burst of surprise.

Brilliant, love it, love the ideas and the transparency.
And the concrete ideas – like instead of the goal being earning the million dollar goal, – it is learn what the H it TAKEs to earn a million bucks.

also – something I read recently – the ACTIONS we take once we set our goals are NOT necessarily the actions that will bring that goal in out of the blue – but they are critical, as they show our clear intention to have it, which is what it takes to pull it to us.

either way – thank you for this, and all the rockin advice ( also – btw – loved your simple writing system!)

have a fantastic year, and I will be taking ACTION on what you suggested, and writing my GOALS ACHIEVED l5 Jan 2015 letter to myself.

Thanks John!

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    You’re welcome, Dawn. I have a personal vendetta against the bullshit of “visualize it and it shall appear” school of self-help (which never works). “The Secret” has done a lot of damage to the actual goals of a lot of folks… it’s fun reading and all that, but worthless in the real world. Better to get busy with actionable items…

    Thanks for the note.

    Reply
Steve says January 12, 2014

John

Hmmmm, I am tuning 60 the year, you would think one would understand most of this by now. I am not so egotistical to understand how little I really know.

An awesome piece of wisdom, maybe, just maybe your should have folks send you their letter, archive it, and then send it back to them the next year for review. Hmmm, if I had any smarts maybe I could arrange for that.

Steve

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    Most folks go the entire ride without learning these tricks and tactics, Steve. Never too late to get your groove on…

    Reply
Orestes says January 12, 2014

I always love this post and never get tire of reading it.
What I have learned is that resolutions don´t works.That is why when I did fine a gym to work out close to my place that I was looking for before Christmas I joined right away.
Also before I used to have goals but I didn´t have a plan
but that also has changed and today I have my plan in details and my goals for this year…looking to the future which keep me motivated.

Nice to be back here as I had a very terrible time but
adversity won´t take me down at least not that easy…love
to fight which is worthy…now I´m smiling again right in
her face 🙂

Thanks John for reminding us the goals every year and have
a healthy and prosperous 2014 as well as everybody here!

Blessings!
Orestes

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    Hope you have a great year, too. Thanks for the note.

    Reply
Scott Dudley says January 12, 2014

What an awesome post…

John, I can relate to everything you’ve said except for the part about it being cold and frosty. In Perth, Australia, its 43 degrees Celsius today (about 110 in your U.S. Fahrenheit). In other words it’s as hot as hell here.

This is easily the best idea I’ve heard of for setting goals, and I’ll be writing my own letter to myself on Jan 15.

Thinking big and taking risks are mandatory to get anywhere in life. Otherwise you just drift along in mediocrity – just like most people do.

The hardest part of me was finally deciding what I wanted to do. Eventually it came to me and I’m living every day of my life to get closer to that.

Thanks for the inspiration and wisdom. I’m looking forward to reading more of your work and learning from your training programs.

Scott

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    I heard you guys Underneath were having a hot summer. Good time of year to get your new game afoot…

    Thanks for the note, Scott.

    Reply
George says January 12, 2014

I don’t know why but I decided to read your blog, probably felt like taking a break from a mountain of work just at the beginning of the year. The more I read the more inclined I was to hit the close arrow, but I kept reading. And it suddenly hit me. People who read this are probably people who have plenty on their plate, feeling sorry for themselves, looking for an easy way out or a free ride. There’s an old saying, “There’s no such thing as a Free dinner”. Feeling sorry for yourself is a waste of time. My advice is to visit your local pound and select a pooch. They don’t require much, just some food, water and friendship. They love walking and can get you out of your morbid state of mind in a flash. And with a clear mind everything is possible.

Try It.

And you’ll be saving a life.

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    All our dogs are rescues. Once you get past the initial reactions of the dog to yet another new situation in their chaotic lives… they won’t trust you until you’ve proven yourself to them as much as they’ve proven themselves to you… you’ll experience a cross-species understanding and affection that no human-to-human relationship can match.

    I learn from my dogs every day. And some day, I hope to be as happy for five minutes as my terrier is every time we harness up and take a long walk — she’s just in heaven, smelling and seeing and feeling the world afresh, with full enthusiasm and unbounded joy.

    Reply
Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero says January 12, 2014

Busted! I totally skimmed to the PS and got blasted for skimming. So I went back through and read deeply. Thanks for the kick in the ass. I have done the letter idea but not as an annual ritual. I like that idea. Going to write mine now in my leather-bound journal I got at the Renaissance Faire. I reserve it for major insights. The letter will fit right in. 🙂

Brat

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    John Carlton says January 12, 2014

    Wow. When I get kudo’s from someone like Lorrie (“Brat” to those who know her well), I know I’ve done something right. She’s tough to please, with a super-keen eye for bullshit.

    Goal achievement is a process, not an event. Major insights lead to action, which lead to movement forward, which result in a lifetime of achievement. No other tactic will ever serve you so well.

    Thanks for the note, Brat.

    Reply
Lisa Gergets says January 12, 2014

Hey John –

Love reading your stuff, and love this post. I quit my full-time job in 2010 to work from home online, and the first two years were stellar, low-six-figure years. 2013 threw us for a loop emotionally, physically, mentally and of course…financially. And I can not seem to get “it” back…mojo, good energy, whatever juju I DID have now seems obliterated.

I’ve never goal-set in my life, but I’m about to write a letter to myself, because I WANT things for my family – experiences, places, fun, and the financial security we used to have – I want those back in a big way.

Here’s to 2014!

Lisa

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    John Carlton says January 13, 2014

    Lisa, make sure you hear our current podcast over at pi4mm.com (Psych Insights for Modern Marketers) — it’s on burn-out, and may help you get your mojo back.

    It’s free until we post the next show, so don’t dilly-dally…

    Reply
      Lisa Gergets says January 13, 2014

      I’m on it…

      Reply
David says January 13, 2014

John, I’m a little unclear on the “tense” of this letter. Sounds like you’re describing the “present” one year from now and demonstrating that life with concrete, tangibles? Could you provide a short example? I like the idea of the pull vs. the push.

Thanks

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    Lisa Gergets says January 13, 2014

    Hi David – I’m (obviously) not John, but the letter that I am writing, I am writing in the past tense. Kinda like, “Look what an awesome year we had in 2014 and remember all this cool stuff we did?” type of thing…thereby creating the message to my subconscious that says – this stuff is already in the works.

    Hope that helps you! Don’t overthink it – just DO IT!

    Reply
    John Carlton says January 14, 2014

    Do what works for you. This shouldn’t be a one-time thing, so try one tense this year, and another tense next year. This is long-haul advice.

    For myself, I use present tense (and talk to myself, as I’ll exist a year from now — a bit confusing to outsiders, but it makes perfect sense to me), as in starting it out with “Well, John, another great year. I wrote 3 books…” etc. The key is in the specifics, not the tense.

    Reply
      David says January 14, 2014

      John, thanks–that’s what I wanted to know.

      Reply
      ken ca|houn says January 28, 2014

      thx for the tips… that’s the most important one, you shared about SPECIFICS…which many may well not do.

      As in, “Ken you did a great job with your affiliate marketing rollout, you recruited 242 new affiliates this year and they generated $x in revenue for you”

      to profits,

      ken

      Reply
RosSumiati says January 13, 2014

I am on my way to make a step of making my own letter now, its nice. Hope it push all things to be a crystal.Thank you John.

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Jerry says January 13, 2014

What an appropriate post for me, John. Just lost my 4th sales job in as many years (after 40 years of selling I guess I’m just not much of a face-to-face guy anymore)and needed a kick in the butt to get my IM empire up and running. I wrote a book a few years ago with my unique take on how to help people quit smoking and I’m gonna put up a site to educate and promote. But I think I’ll begin by taking a peek into the crystal ball and seeing the compelling future that awaits me on January 15,2015. Thanks for the shot in the arm!

PS: I’ll give you $350 for that worn out old Strat; that’s about twice what you paid for it, right?

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    John Carlton says January 14, 2014

    I paid $125 for that baby… in a pawn shop in San Berdoo, in 1970. Came with a hand-made wooden guitar case (that was pretty well made, actually).

    In 2014 dollars, that would be, um… approximately $44,000. No checks…

    Reply
elmo033057 says January 14, 2014

Thanks so much for the great advice, Mr. Carlton.

God Bless!

ELMO

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    John Carlton says January 15, 2014

    You’re welcome, Elmo.

    Reply
Eddie P says January 14, 2014

Hi John: Did you write the advertorial in your workbook (SWS) on page 25, 26 and 27? That’s some killer advertorial, I’m putting that in my swipe file folder. I’m still searching for great single page advertorial for my swipe file folder. I think I would go with your recommendation by thumbing through the National Enquirer.

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Jeff Palmer says January 16, 2014

Mr Carlton:
Thanks for the truth….as usual. Could not have said it better myself and I do try every day to family, friends and clients.

When I want to make a situation change for the better, I write down exactly how I want that situation to be as if it were ideal. Usually if you looked at what I wrote you would think I was out of my mind. But it works! I read it every day or more to flex my subconscious mind muscle and then watch what the mystical powers of this universe present to me the stuff I must change and confront to make my illusion a reality. The funny thing is it it is not usually what I wrote exactly but somehow better!

Over the past several months I have a more practical understanding of what it means to be comfortable being uncomfortable, which we all have to learn is part of the vulnerability of change.

I have Endless Gratitude for you and all you have shared with me and with the Marketing world, you have made it a much better place 🙂

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    John Carlton says January 17, 2014

    Thanks, Jeff. I try…

    Reply
Jody Pilkington says January 17, 2014

Hey John, just finished your new book. Awesome read. Got it on Monday couldn’t put it down! Helped me in so many ways. Just wanted to say Thank you!

Jody

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    John Carlton says January 17, 2014

    You’re welcome, Jody.

    Pop onto the amazon site and leave a review, please. An astonishing number of people make up their mind whether to get a book based on the testimonials and reviews they read — so you’d be helping someone waffling over getting the book. At $9 for the digital version, it’s not the money that matters — it’s the mindset. So many would-be entrepreneurs are scared, lost and need some direction. That’s where I’m trying to help out, with this free blog and the modestly-priced ebook.

    Appreciate it. Thanks. Here’s the site: http://www.amazon.com/Entrepreneurs-Guide-Getting-Together-ebook/dp/B00C275VVC/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top

    Reply
Scott Christ says January 21, 2014

Holy shit, John. Epic. Just epic.

I followed your work back in the day when I was studying you and the “Garys” (Halbert and Bencivenga).

But man, this is an incredible piece of writing … one of the best things I’ve ever read. So thank you for sharing your wisdom and skill for using the written word in a way few have done before.

One question: you talk about doing “everything you can to bring traffic to” a website. What’s your take on the most effective approaches in this day and age? I don’t think “create great content” is enough anymore.

Working on that letter to myself now … bourbon in hand. And I’m gonna grab your book on Amazon immediately after.

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    John Carlton says January 21, 2014

    Oh, man, getting traffic is a loooong subject. Keeps changing and morphing. Depends on what kind of traffic you want, too. The guys to study, though, are the affiliate dudes — the ones who just accumulate huge lists, and mail Clickbank ads to them. Behind-the-scene fortunes… the rest of us are pikers, regarding traffic…

    Reply
Kelvin says January 22, 2014

John, you could make any topic interesting my friend. My take-away…action, movement is the key. Thanks man!

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Oliver says January 24, 2014

I’ve read this last year’s new year and wrote my outrageously greedy letter to now me. Put in the next 1 or 2 years as well. Nothing of the sort happened, and I had one of my worst years yet.

But hell, I was on a downward bent anyways, so that was expected. It even helped me break the fall somewhat, things are looking up (slightly), insane deadlines are looming (very much), and I’ll survive. Thanks for reminding me that I have to write a letter to next year me. He’s so gonna get it.

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    John Carlton says January 28, 2014

    Hang in there, Oliver. You’ve got the attitude right. Thanks for the note…

    Reply
Matt Makowski says January 26, 2014

Well…you wily old fart. I just wrote me the most awesome of years for 2014…..so juicy that it’s gotta happen. My life will (is) max (maxing) out. I’m ready to step into the future….with a dry throat and a pounding heart. Joy, joy and double joy.
Thanks,
Mateo

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    John Carlton says January 28, 2014

    You’re welcome…

    Reply
Jeremy says January 31, 2014

A long read, but a gut check on the importance of attitude. Thank you John!

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Ash says March 24, 2014

Man, you are good, real good! You are have nailed down so many aspects to life in one post, kudos to you – loved it and bookmarking it to read it again later, whilst pcking up that lagging goal list of mine and damn well conquering it *thumbs up*..

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100,000 Words: Books/Writings That Have Changed My Life says March 25, 2014

[…] for salesmanship but I realized just how brilliant of a writer he is after reading his blog post The Rest Of Your Freakin’ Life. It’s an amazingly insightful piece of writing–one of the few articles I’ve read […]

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Ted Perrottti says October 3, 2014

Dear Mr Carlton:

I’ve found your posts fascinating, covering so much more parts of life than just marketing. I, too, am a freelance writer, though just a beginner. I did not start out working at/with an agency like you did, but am simply a guy with a portfolio school education and a God-given talent/love for writing.

I would really love to use blogging as a means to attract clients and build relationships with them. But I would love the advice of you, a respected pro, on one thing. How did/do you find those things you love to blog about? Those topics about which you just keep finding new articles to write over months and years? I know the exact steps will be different for me than they were for you, but what was your thinking process?

Please share some of your expert insight with a fellow word-lover.

Thank you and keep inspiring.

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How To Give This Secret Blog A Complete Test-Run… In Just 3 Minutes. | The RANT says December 20, 2014

[…] (which helps clients understand how to get the best freelancer they can)… the redux of “The Rest Of Your Freakin’ Life” (one of the most referred-to posts on living well I’ve ever […]

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Rock It Out In 2015! | Duke of Marketing says January 1, 2015

[…] Anywho, here’s the link:  http://www.john-carlton.com/2014/01/the-rest-of-your-freakin-life-one-more-time/ […]

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Eddy says November 19, 2018

That’s a marvelous, eye-opening post I’ve seen since Joe Karbo’s Lazy Man’s Way to Riches.
Yeah, sure, it’s easy to set goals, but you’ll need a definite, specific goals. And it’s about figuring out how you can reach those goals too. But I’ve seen some people wrote that they just need to ask, seek, and knock and the way to reach those goals will be open.
I’m not a Christian but I’m a believer of Matthew 7:7 and Luke 11:9 now, after reading your post.

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