Goin’ Down To Kernville, Gonna See Some Friends o’ Mine…

Sunday, 9:48pm
Reno, NV
“Jerry was a race car driver, 22 years old…” (?)


Just checking in, to make sure you know I’m still kicking.

Busy, busy, busy. Virtual classes for the Simple Writing System start this week, you know.

Tell you what: To celebrate, let’s give out some…


In fact — what the hell — let’s have TWO contests.

C’mon. What d’ya say?

Contesto Numero Uno: First person to name the band AND fill out the last two lines of the song I quoted above (just below the date)…

… wins a free copy of that infamous “Power Words” report I created by pulling killer action verbs, emotionally-loaded words, and hooky persuasion phrases from a thick pile of my best-performing ads.

This report is often cited as the critical “X Factor” for many writers now knocking ads, websites and PPC out of the park. (It’s valued at $99, you know.)

(Hint: Same band did the original song I’ve corrupted for the headline.)

(C’mon. You KNOW this…)

Contesto Numero Dos: First person to comment on the NEW BLOG — when it finally appears — gets a copy of the “Power Words” report, too.

I cannot say for sure when the new blog will magically appear in this spot.

Same URL. No need to change channels.

At some special moment — any time now — the programmer will throw a switch and VOILA! New blog design lights up the joint.

We’ve been massaging it for a month, trying to make everything as glitch-free as possible before debuting.

We’re changing the name, too. In honor of the newsletter I wrote and mailed out (remember mail?) for six years, we’re re-christening this blog to “The Rant”.

I’m so excited. I’m like a kid on Christmas morning who knows what I’m getting, and can’t sleep waiting to unwrap it.

Of course, as a kid, I would destroy most of the shit I got by early afternoon.

I promise to take care of this toy, though.

Oh, wait…

One more thing:

I’ll be in San Diego this weekend, speaking at Frank Kern’s “Mass Control” big damn event. Gonna hang out with the Kool Kids (like Filsmaime and Koenigs and Johnson and Walker and JaMo and the rest) for a few days.

And don’t forget: If you joined Frank’s Mass Control mini-cult through our link, Stan and I are hosting a nice little exclusive brainstorm/cocktail hour Thursday in the hotel. (Only invited guests, please.)

Spring in San Diego. What a concept.

Stay frosty (and watch for the new blog’s appearance)…


Just enter your name and primary email address below and we'll send you the new report right away.

"11 Really Stupid Blunders You're Making With Your Biz & Career Right Now."

  • Clifton says:


    Had too many cold beers one night
    And wrapped himself around a telephone pole

    John Carlton replies:

    You win, dude. My ass’t, Diane, will be contacting you through the email address that showed up with your post.

    Man, I gotta make these little pop quiz thingies more difficult.

    To everyone else: The new blog has — gasp! — been delayed YET AGAIN, due to tech problems. We’re on it. Still could explode onto your screen at any moment, I’m told…

    Any moment.

  • Karen says:


    Had too many cold beers one night
    And wrapped himself around a telephone pole.


  • Jorge says:

    How about 2 1/2 contests. For some reason, while reading your post “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” started playing in my head.
    Didn’t Kern use to live in Georgia?

  • Chase says:

    Primus…Les Claypool is the man.

    As for your title, South Park is pretty great too. 😉

  • Ian says:

    Ahhh…did I win the contest for first to find the new Rant?

    It looks sharp John.

    • john-carlton says:

      You win, Ian. Diane will be contacting you.

      Sorry for the big delay — I was, of course, preoccupied with Kern’s event and the start of classes in the Simple Writing System.

      Things are settling down now…

  • Simon says:

    Hey John,

    See the new blog site is up. First reaction is it’s a little too busy – I found the old site much easier on the eye for reading. But maybe it will grow on me.


  • Rob Northrup says:

    Hi John,

    I see that the new site is up and going, looks good, looking forward to seeing you in San Diego…

    Seize the Day,

    Sales Eagles Soar Above the Competition!
    Personal Asset Protection For Small Business Owners

  • Bernardo says:

    Wow! There’s sure a lot going on here.

    First impression is it’s kind of like going
    to Vegas for the first time.

    Congrats on your new toy, John.

  • Kyle says:

    John – didn’t you used to be a graphic designer? This site is a little… uhh…. obscene?

    As long as the content stays good, who cares tho. 🙂

    See ya this weekend at Hard Rock.

    • blog-admim says:

      Kyle –
      Any specific suggestions?
      It’s all work in progress. We just figured it was time to toss it out there and see how it flew.
      Any & all input welcome.
      And that goes for everyone.
      — Stan, Carlton’s Biz Parnter

      • Ian says:

        hey Stan,
        I like how you can find older articles by subject line (on the left hand side). I’d like to an option to sort articles by popularity (or number of comments).

  • Hey , I finally decided to write a comment on your blog . I just wanted to say good job . I really enjoy reading your posts.

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