All posts by John Carlton

A Question For Y’All

I’ve had the pleasure of hanging out with other writers a lot lately.

Writing anything — fiction, ads, webstite copy, autoresponders, poetry — can be a very isolating experience. None of the best writers I know work with a single other co-writer, let alone a committee. At most, we have someone gather research info for us… but when it’s time to put words down, we go hide.

This solitude makes us dangerous social animals when we get around other writers. I call it “The Brotherhood of the Pen”, and this sense of shared-connection goes back to the dawn of civilization… which, by no coincidence, was spurred by the invention of a written language.

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Commit And Immerse

I’ve been reading a lot lately about brain studies. The Germans and the Dutch are really going to town on this, tracking eye movement on ads and recording brain activity while subjects listen to radio ads.

They aren’t choosing ads as their material to help marketers. They’re choosing ads because advertising is very effective at lighting up the cerebral cortex and amydala and brain stem.

Everyone is affected by good ad copy in some way.

If they used, say, Moby Dick for their tests, they’d have to make allowances for the unfortunate fact that many people doze off in the presence of a book.

I’m not sure if this makes me proud to be an adman or not… but it sure emphasizes the power of salesmanship. Negative or positive, everyone has a reaction to copy.


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Stupid, Foolish Greed

Whew.

Just flew in from San Diego, and boy are my arms tired.

Okay, scratch that bad joke. I’m exhausted. Forgive me.

Still, since getting back in the office and plowing through the thousand or so emails waiting for me after being gone for all of six days… I have noticed a very nasty trend among wannabe entrepreneurs. And I feel the need to discuss it.

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Gutting Routine

Quick post before I hop on a plane in two hours, bound for sunny So Cal and a couple of wild seminars:

It took me half a lifetime to figure out the secrets of honest discipline, because I am genetically lazy and never had that cool, hip uncle-figure to take me aside and reveal the secrets of anything about life.

I was all slacker and potential, with no honed chops whatsoever. A total waste of pre-frontal cortex.

Then, I discovered the joy of discipline, and got my act together.

That’s when life got interesting.

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The Eleventh

I just have two things to say about the upcoming 9/11 anniversary:

1. I don’t care how much of a stud you are — this was an emotionally jarring event in everyone’s life. For all the turmoil it caused in business and politics and global stability, the lasting effect deep in our souls is just as damaging. Even if you skip all the cheesy TV specials (and I’m pretty sure every network we have will embarrass themselves), there will be vibrations throughout the collective unconscious.

Just be ready for a little emotional shockwave. We took a hit, and we absorbed the blow and held steady.

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Second Opinion

This posting has nothing whatsoever to do with marketing or advertising.

It has everything, however, to do with your life.

Over the past few months, an ever-widening circle of friends and family have gotten sick. I come from hardy working-class stock that, in normal circumstances, is pretty stubborn about allowing illness to win. If anyone ever gets sick enough to admit being sick… then they are really friggin’ sick.

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So, Decide Already

I just finished polishing my latest issue of the Rant — it’s a good ‘un, too. All about making decisions.

However, after sending the issue off to be printed and mailed, I realized I’d forgotten to include one of my notes.

So, here it is:

The ability to make a good decision is a key to becoming a true professional, in any market or business. Very few people understand the mechanics of decision-making… and, in fact, recoil at the idea of going deep with the process.

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Spoiled Brats

Just got back from a week on the coast. Found a joint that takes dogs and doesn’t have wireless or cell phone coverage.

That was cool. Getting off the grid is good for your soul, every so often.

I came back to a ton of “urgent” email and an inbox stacked to the ceiling… and I’ve been happily knocking items off my to-do list all day. Because I’m taking off another few days to hang with my family, starting when my nephew’s plane lands in about half an hour.

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I’m Outa Here

One of the big damn perks of being your own boss is, of course, the ability to pull the plug on the phone and take off for the coast whenever you feel like getting sand everywhere.

That’s exactly what we’re doing over the next few days. Cram the SUV with too much crap, set the terrier up with her favorite bed and toys in the back, slam in the home-made CDs, and roar out of town fired up on caffeine and adrenaline and the call of the beach. (Tomorrow morning, it’s Bloody Mary’s on the porch!)

I’ll be back next week, much less grumpy and probably already peeling from sunburn.

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Absolutely Perfect

I woke up today thinking about perfectionism.

God knows, I’m the last guy on earth who would ever get tagged as a perfectionist… except when it comes to writing.

I’m sloppy and generally lazy — my desk looks like a bomb went off, and I have dusty stacks of files and books next to my bookcase that have been awaiting attention for six months. I would have made a good ape in the jungle, happily lounging around munching bananas all day and flicking at fleas.

But when it comes to writing, editing and re-writing… I turn into Mr. Type A Obsessive-Compulsive Perfectionist.

I’m still dressed in grungy sweats, barefoot and looking like I just crawled out of bed… but once I bring up a document and start punching keys, I’m focused and merciless about making the words work.

This is one of the big stumbling blocks my copywriting students encounter. I repeatedly talk about the need to rewrite and edit… and even insist that they use complete sentences in all email correspondence with me… and most just think I’m kidding.

I’m not.

As a raw rookie freelancer, I would work on copy until my eyes bled… desperate to make sure there were no typo’s or misspellings or — worst of all — any instances of not being clear and easily understood.

I knew that a great sales pitch depended on clarity. And I learned, as I worked on more and more jobs, that my brain loved to clog up clear thinking with obtuse metaphors and clunky anecdotes. It’s just something our brains enjoy doing.

Rule Number One: There is NEVER room for a tangential story in a good sales pitch. Your copy should be like a greased slide — the reader climbs on through the very first words you hook him with, and is taken on a brisk, thrilling ride through the pitch with no chance to catch his breath.

By the time he arrives at your offer, he should be in a state of near-frenzy, desperate to have your product in his hands and terrified he may miss out if he dallies.

Most rookies interrupt this mad rush to go off on irrelevant tangents. In essence (and I’ve seen these very words in a bad pitch), you’re saying “Hold that thought, for a minute… while I tell you about something else entirely.”

In a sales pitch, you will murder results by doing that. Introducing an irrelevant story, or going off on some tangent that stops the momentum, is like throwing a bucket of ice water on your reader.

You’re after that passionate sweet spot in his soul. Passion is slow to get fired up, and quick to cool.

If it helps to look at your copy in another way, try this: Many of the best copywriters consider their pitch as a quasi-sexual encounter with a prospect, through words. You use teasing foreplay to get the mood right… turn up the heat as you approach the climax of the offer… and make it clear that any relief from the tension and anticipation will not come until the order is complete.

Think about how you’ve felt during a good sales transaction. It’s a visceral experience. Taking cash or a credit card out of your wallet, and giving it to another person, is one of the toughest human interactions to trigger.

It’s not just your head and your wallet involved. It’s your heart, your ape-brain, your cerebral cortex, your blood pressure, your soul.

Weak writing won’t cut it.

That’s why my most common advice to rookies is to rewrite more. Edit more viciously. And don’t let an ad out of your hands until you would bet your life on it working — the old “Gun To The Head” process.

I mentioned that, as a rookie myself, I edited until my eyes bled.

I really thought I was working hard. And then… I started ghost-writing for established professionals.

Boy, was I in for a surprise.

In the upper echelons of the copywriting world, it is not uncommon for top writers to rewrite a piece twenty times. Or to craft a hundred good headlines before choosing the best one. Or to edit obsessively for days, sweating over every word, every subhead, every detail of the sales process.

This confuses many beginning writers. They see perfectionism in writing as being “hard”… and this flies in the face of promises by teachers like me that it’s actually “easy”.

Well, guess what?

It IS easy. When I rewrite a headline for the twentieth time, or change a verb in the opening sentence for the eighth time, or edit out a paragraph (or even several pages) I’ve deemed excessive or unnecessary… I’m not groaning or suffering.

I love to edit, in fact. It’s like polishing a statue I’ve just chiseled. I know that with each pass, I’m making my copy more clear and my sales pitch more effective.

Rewards are in store.

What’s hard is to slam out a few pages of sloppy ad copy, run it through spell-check, refuse to dig in with any editing… and then expect it to rock the world.

There’s an exquisite sense of accomplishment in crafting a single killer sentence. To be clearly understood is a key to moving ahead in business, and in life.

If you want to be a writer, you must write. Writing is not just typing words out in succession.

No. It’s communicating. Clearly.

If your copy isn’t clear right now, you need to spend more time editing and rewriting. If you want to be a professional writer — either freelancing or writing real ads for your own business — then you need to toss all your reluctance to polish what you write.

Even your emails. I am in touch with dozens and dozens of professionals… and NONE of the best write sloppy emails, no matter how casual the missive is. They never rely on sickly-cute “emoticons”, either, to get their point across — those 🙁 and 😉 smiley-face thingies.

If they want to be funny, they write funny stuff. If they are disappointed, they make it clear with their choice of words. And they don’t use “texting” spelling shortcuts to do it.

Why not? Because great writing isn’t about small talk or “too hip, gotta run” attitudes.

You don’t sell tons of product by casually hooking-up with prospects.

You do it by communicating, clearly and effectively. It’s not “hard”, either, once you get over your bad habits and install the good habits of great writers.

Sweat over your words a little bit. Each one matters.

Stay frosty.

John Carlton
www.marketingrebel.com

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