Moving & Shaking vs. Dodging & Ducking

Creepy, just did a lecture on this yesterday. And was just looking up a domain connected with this right now. Then I saw you FB post. 🙂

“Proactive vs. reactive remains the biggest dividing line between the movers ‘n shakers in life, and the “go along to get along” dodgers and duckers.

I still have loads of both types in my life, as friends and colleagues and family. Love ‘em all, regardless of their primary mode of operating. I don’t judge, and don’t care to try changing anyone.

But I will lay out the lesson, whenever it’s relevant.”

I feel you. 🙂

I’ve noticed that trusting yourself, carrying out a choice (a decision), and taking responsibility for it, is like a dieing art…

“If they even have any goals in the first place.”

Some people think I’m rude when I repeat the advice that I gave my kids:
There is a special word in the English language for people who don’t set goals and make plans. We call them “losers”. That would be 95% of the people you meet, based on the observation that only about 5% of people are successful.

I have learned that goals can seem out of reach, and the initial plan to get there can be really thin, and if it’s something I really want, I’ll get there.

Some good advice sir.Time to keep moving forward.

Hey John, thanks for the incredibly valuable advice once again.

Did I mention I’m getting close to getting paid a sweet sum of cash for a product launch I’m going to be helming soon?

Wouldn’t have gotten anywhere in my life without your grizzled veteran advice.

Thanks once again, though I’ve said it way too many times…

Chris

Several posts here that say “what a coincidence.”
No, there are no coincidences… things happen for a reason. Not always easy to figure out…but in my case, I know exactly why I read your email.

Thanks, J.C.

That is comforting and timely advice. I was just saying to myself this morning to stick to the plan and have faith. It is a good plan and will create the life i have always wanted as long as I don’t quit.

Excellent post, JC.

I attribute it to fear.

Mostly, fear of

… making a mistake

… or looking foolish, or

… (God forbid)… failing..

Being proactive involves one major risk:

No matter what you do, you just don’t know
for sure what’s going to happen.

Once you get over that, and realize, hey, no
matter what happens, you can always do something
next, and eventually get (at least) where you want
to go… it gets easier…

Your email arrived just in time. I’m on the road, and that’s the time for me to think about my life. But it looks more like acting now.

Dear John, thank you & blessings from San Diego.

Boots, made for walkin’, but feet do the work.
With each step, doors open on this chosen path.
Thanks for your inspiration & help.
-Steafen

To be proactive most definitely requires, as Mr. Garfinkel suggests, a willingness to be the fool or at least be considered as one.

As I just finished reading “Mastery” by George Leonard, your post John for me was perfectly timed.

Totally agree, John. “You either allow others to decide how you’re going to live your life… or you take over the responsibility for it.”

Unless you live in some war zone or undemocratic country, no one is holding a gun to your head to make you do things you don’t want to do or stop you from doing what you love.

And, IMO, today there are even fewer excuses NOT to be proactive than ever. There was a time when it was a lot harder to access information. Because of the internet, we can find out how to do things and there are answers to every question.

So listen to Papa John, folks. You can either walk around in a state of unconsciousness all your life and spend a lot of time in fear and resentment (or oblivion – yawn), or you can get a real life.

“No goals would arrive in the mail, stapled to plans on achieving them.”

Jeez Louise, that right there is the kicker.

Choosing your goals is hard, but once you’ve chosen them it’s far easier to figure out how to get there. Reminds me of Peter Griffin rolling up to his high school reunion as a cowboy/astronaut/millionaire.

Wicked post John

As usual, great post John. I started out in the world of business pretty young and I remember setting goals and writing things down on paper for embarrassingly enough about 3 years and achieving nearly NONE of those things.

As time went on I got better and more disciplined about not only writing them down, but making the plans, and then more importantly EXECUTING. What changed?

I’m not a highly disciplined person at all and was never organized by any means. For me, it was about FOCUSING on the goal that day… Then getting into the habit of sitting back at the end of the week and evaluating my progress. If I Fu*ked up that week I would adjust course and improve. Did this week after week, then started doing monthly evaluations etc.

It took me a long time to get into the habit of this, but I believe this made the difference. The habit done over nd over again becomes automatic and suddenly you are operating like a “disciplined” person.

I guess my point is, FOCUS on nailing your daily goals for say 30 to 60 days without fail. Most people’s view towards getting important things DONE will change over that short period of time.

Another thing I screwed up on (looking back now) was I was always fixated on the BIG GOALS. My HUGE annual goals always occupied my mind so I was basically always in this day dream imagining my life having achieved the BIG goals. What I should have been doing instead back then is FOCUSING on the here and now goals and spending MOST of my time thinking about and executing on those small weekly goals. If I had laser focused on those and occupied my mind on those I would have achieved things a lot faster.

When I focus on and NAIL the small goals effectively, the BIG ones seem to take care of themselves. I have no idea why it took me so long to realize that, but hey I am still a tad over 30 so I have some time to go out and take down those lofty ambitious goals. 🙂

Great article — and I second your comment to Randy Berg above. It often happens that we set goals for ourselves and then a version of we\’re looking for appears to us and we take it…this slightly resembles being \’reactive\’ and taking what comes to us, though I think the fundamental difference between the two is being proactive involves taking a risk and going out of your comfort zone. Thoughts?
G

I needed to read this right now. It kind of goes against the “forget setting goals, focus on habits instead” school of thought, so it does make me wonder sometimes: should I set goals or not?
Some folks swear by goals, while others prefer to focus on habits and incremental progress. Both camps make sense, and there are intelligent and successful people in both.
Personally, I achieved my biggest “goals” without having set any. (if that makes sense)

And I failed to achieve a bunch of goals that I had set for myself. Does it mean that I lost faith in goals? Not really. It means I need to focus on shorter term goals that are more closely connected to daily routines, discipline, and measurable results. Maybe goals are like fitness and nutrition – one needs to find out what works best for himself and work with that. And realize that we don’t have a lot of time left to figure all that out. No pressure.
Anyway, thanks for the valuable lesson John.

Great article! I was thinking about how many older people in my family are so passive and NEVER take the bulls by the horn and make things happen. Sometimes I wonder, however I don’t judge, still LOVE them. I just don’t like when they complain about stuff that I know and they know they could easily change very quickly.

Thanks John.

My first goal right now is…

… to become as good a copywriter as you. 🙂

My second goal after that is…

… to become an even better copywriter than you. :O

I think I should start with goals that are actually achievable first. LOL.

But putting that aside, what if someone’s goal is to be super reactive all their life. And be content and filled with awe at whatever random thing life throws their way?

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