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Peeking? Nothing doing. When we were teenagers, my best friend and I made countless, religious late-night runs to the all-night grocery store for the WWN and then to Dunkin’ Donuts for coffee and a squeal. It was like going to church. This was Maine in the late 80’s, so if you think there was nothing to do except freebase on pine needles and drive by Stephen King’s house in the middle of the night, you’re right. And we were both rather goody-goody (read: scared) back then.
Anyway, back to WWN. The headlines got us in the door but it was always Ed Anger that sealed the deal. And it WAS good copywriting training. I can say this definitively, as already in my so-far short stint as a copywriter I’ve shamelessly nipped his lines for use in a sales piece twice, I think, and suggested one more to a colleague, who used it not knowing the source (I let him in on the joke later).
I feel blessed that we inhaled so much of the stuff back in Eddie Clontz’ heyday. And I was fascinated. How did they do it? I so very much wanted to sneak down to Florida to be a fly on the wall, if but for a day, to find out.
I thought of Bee (said best friend, who remains as such) first when I heard the news. And then I thought of you. I almost emailed to let you know but then decided that was probably too weird, given that I’ve only met you once at a seminar. (And of course I figured you’d have seven zillion people breaking the bad news, too.)
A tasty scotch for the WWN!
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John,
It’s Ming here… been a while since I last emailed you enquiring about the news of Gary’s demise…
Anyway, here are some headlines I crafted. They are ALL MINE. I swear to god I didn’t rip it off from anywhere. They are THAT brilliant (and I don’t know if it’s an offence to tout)
“Man Apologises To 145 Singaporeans Who Became Unemployed After Attending His ‘Killer’ Moneymaking Seminar!”
Without begging, borrowing or stealing…
“How Much Money Can You Make In 10 Minutes?”
“Who Else Wants To Be Amongst The First 100 Internet Marketing Multi-Millionaires?”
“How Much MORE Money Do You Want To Make In 2007?”
“How Long Do You Spend In Front Of Your Computer?”
If anyone wants to rip them off, just acknowledge that you got your ideas from me
Hey John, if you think those headlines are great, lavish me with an email compliment. I know I am being ballsy with someone who has no record of sugarcoating others… but HECK… worth a try
The ‘ballsy’ boy,
Ming (Taymastery)
The 15 year old Tycoon
btw john, here’s another headline that will make you drool…
“11,600 Millionaires In Singapore
Why Aren’t YOU One Of Them?”
I grabbed that headline from an ad in one of my local newspapers
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This one sentence needs a revisit…
“With a great hook, the rest of your sales pitch is just mop-up duty.”
Brilliant John!
It’s baffling to me how many sales letters are totally missing a good “hook” (some of mine included).
My buddy and I have been working on a damn hook for a whole week, and I still don’t think we’ve got it yet. Obviously, the client isn’t exactly laying hooks out on a platter either. But we’ll find something.
And truth be told, digging up hooks is actually kinda fun if you got a wacky sense of humor and just enjoy the random brainstorm.
Anyways, here’s the headline that makes me want to read more…
World Famous Street-Fighter Will Give You A
FREE GUN…
Just To Prove He Can Take It Away From You Bare-Handed
As Easy As Candy From A Baby!
Kinda tough to ignore that one.
I’m not sure my favorite, but the FREE GUN has gotta be
in my top 10.
Ah. Bat Boy. He made my college years more fun, and even inspired my most interesting college experience (well, academically speaking, anyway).
It was the 80’s, and I had a mythology class. Took it so I wouldn’t have to do much work. I took that bad attitude a bit too far, and didn’t even show up very often. The prof didn’t even know my name by the end of the semester.
Anyway, half of our grade was based on the ‘term paper’. I use that term loosely, as I started doing my research for it 3 days before it was due, and wrote it during the last 36 hours.
How did I choose my subject? It went something like this. “Oh shit. I am OUT of time. I need to write a term paper. No time to buy one (the Internet was not available to us normal people yet). What was lying around in my off-campus apartment? A semester’s worth of Weekly World News. At the height of Bat Boy fever. That became my term paper.
I got into my zone, big time. It was nothing short of earth-shatteringly brilliant. The professor, when handing back the graded papers, made a point of asking in front of the whole class “Who wrote the Bat Boy paper? That was one of the best papers I have ever read!” – mine was the only one she asked about.
As stories like this often go, it has a tragic ending. The professor, for some reason I never quite comprehended, took the papers back after handing them out, and told us if we wanted them to come back to the department office in a couple of weeks where they would be made available. Of course, my life was filled with far too many important college life things to bother. I missed my opportunity, and never got it back.
I wrote it on my roommate’s Mac. I figured I could get it from him during the next school year. That summer, he was murdered in a senseless act of gang initiation.
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I’d often buy it when on biz trips.
“The most fun you can have for a few coins,” is what I always said!
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One of my favorites from the ‘Globe’:
“Boy Trapped in Refridgerator Eats Own Foot”.
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My favorite from the Weekly World News:
Giant Bats Attack Plane! (accompanied by visuals of mean, giant plane-sized bats flying next to the plane)
I had to buy it and give it as a gift to someone.
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Hi John,
My favorite WWN headline of all time is:
“Statue Gets Angry And Walks Out Of Church”
I’ll really miss that paper. I’d been buying it since I was about 8 years old. It was always fun and entertaining.
Angel
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Hi John,
This is off-topic. So, feel free to delete this post.
I know you’re a friend and business partner of Mr. Gary Halbert. Thus I think I have an obligation to inform you that one of Gary’s ads has been copied word-for-word.
It’s one of the top sellers in Clickbank right now. The URL is:
The sales letter on that website is the exact, verbatim copy
of Gary Halbert’s ‘Options Hotline’ ads for Agora.
The URL for Gary’s ads is:
http://www.thegaryhalbertletter.com/Agora%20Options%20Hotline/07-28-05%20Letter%20With%20Table.pdf
Maybe you can let Gary’s family know. I tried to contact them at Gary’s email address, but got no response.
Best regards,
Jason
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Here’s a headline fer ya’ John.
Jimi Hendrix is not really dead and plays with BB King in New York Gig”
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