Rome, Italy (yeah, I’m on vacation)
“Wither goest thou, America, in thy shiny car at night?” (Jack Kerouac)
I’ve been asking people, lately, what I consider a great question: “Is there anyone in your life who could write your biography?”
Most folks never think about their legacy.
The writers I know all do, of course, though few take the time to work up an autobiography (beyond the blurbs we use for promotion). You gotta be really full of yourself to think you’re worthy of a book.
Still, it’s a question to ponder. Who in your life knows you well enough to tell the tale?
I have no one. Because I’ve moved around a lot, and had radically different sub-plots in my life many times that brought in new batches of friends and cohorts, leaving prior ones in the dust.
There are folks who could tell you intimate things about me, within a limited “chapter” of time… but never the whole story, as an overview. Childhood, youth, the middle years, geezerdom. Each of these eras are like separate John’s, completely different people.
Guys like Keith Richards and Mick Jagger have been close their entire lives, from late childhood on, because of the band. They may not know all the details of each other’s tale, but they could hold forth with pretty decent accuracy on the main themes.
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“It’s game over, man, game over!” (Corporeal Hudson, “Aliens”)
Folks who’ve followed my ramblings and rants for a while know that I’ve had a healthy, life-long love of psychology. Both the academic discoveries, and the street-level revelations that only savvy, old school salesmen ever discover.
And that’s the useable stuff. The insights and tactics that work in marketing, for example. And in dealing with people (who, as you well know, can be whacky and illogical at the worse times).
So here’s one piece of what I call Psych Insights that may help you at a very fundamental level.
Dig: I’ve hung out with — and learned a lot from — a number of professional psychologists.
Most are whacked (with personal lives in complete disarray)…
… but it’s like knowing an insane plumber who can nevertheless fix any pipe problem you have.
You don’t judge the guy you let into your brain’s plumbing by his whackiness, but by his ability to help you.
Anyway, Gary Halbert also shared my fascination with shrinks, and even had one in his inner circle for a few years. (We tried, and tried, and tried to help him get an entrepreneurial project going… but, you know, he was just too caught up in the academic mindset to “get” marketing.)
This particular shrink really understood the territory of human behavior and belief, though. (He’d spent so much time inside people’s heads, he could recognize your particular neuroses before you opened your mouth.) (Yes, you’re neurotic. Get over it. We all are.)
What I learned from him (and other shrinks, both the good ones and the close-to-being-committed-themselves ones) gave me awesome persuasion tools to work with in ads.
But I also learned a lot about living well, too.
“I’m handy with the love and I’m no fool, I fix broken hearts, I know I really can…” (“Handyman”, Jimmy Jones)
There’s a lesson here somewhere: I use a certain well-known phone company for my Interwebs access, and over the years I’ve learned…
… not to trust them.
Their customer service is all talk and no action. Everything I’ve wanted done has required multiple calls to agents who sound nice, promise immediate action, apologize profusely for past transgressions…
… and who then proceed to fuck up the simplest of transactions.
I gotta believe some of them are doing it for spite, just because they’re bored.
The others are simply incompetent fools.
Anyway, the better customer I prove to be, the worst it gets.
I pay my bills on time, and never bother to try gaming the system. Which means I occasionally get mired into obsolete billing models, where I’m paying more for less.
And when it’s discovered by some agent while she’s trying to un-fuck whatever the most recent mess is, they act like it’s my fault I’ve been ignored and abused.
In their world, any customer who does not obsess over their phone bill, constantly fussing with the options and sucking up the deals, is complicit in any bad deal that develops.
I just want the phones and Web to work.
So, you know, I can do my job, and help civilization progress another iota along the slow crawl to oblivion.
I don’t buy things on sale, because that’s a sucker’s game — I buy what I need, when I need it, and happily pay more for a fair value.
In other words…
… I’m a high-end, diamond-plated, near perfect customer.
Which, in the phone company’s eyes, makes me a chump to be exploited, over and over.
“I’m a long gone daddy in the USA…” (Bruce.)
For most folks in America, July 4th is about picnics, blowing shit up, and toasting the gutsy nature of our country.
Born in defiance and battle, prickly and belligerent and idealistic, with built-in endless (and often absurd) political arguments…
… we’ve somehow made the grand experiment last a couple of centuries and a half.
For me, though, the real victory of the joint isn’t in the details of elections or legislation, or the question of how exceptional we are or aren’t as a culture.
Nope. My own pursuit of life and liberty has always balanced on the First Amendment…
… particularly the parts about freedom of speech and freedom of the press.
That’s the beating heart of this place. That’s the saving grace.
For every writer here… novelist, copywriter, journalist, blogger or disgruntled “letter to the editor” ranter…
… there is a long, gruesome pedigree of ancestor writers who were prosecuted or erased or bullied into silence, stretching back as far as history goes.
We’re so spoiled here with freedom of speech, that many naively believe it’s an essential privilege that, of course, is the rule and not the exception.
Yet, the opposite is true.
“Momma’s all right, Daddy’s all right, they just seem a little weird...” (Cheap Trick, Surrender)
I sure hope you were in Cleveland last night, and caught the “Old Dogs Bark” show that Dan Kennedy and I did onstage at his huge event.
If you were… congrats. You witnessed something people should be talking about for years to come.
And if you didn’t…
… well, shame on you for missing it. How often do you think the geezers of the marketing world (the guys with all the best stories, and most reality-based profitable advice) are going to be around to share this stuff?
Time to make the effort to gobble up the great advice and golden stories while we’re here to tell ’em.
This blog is a great place to start, too.
And hey — I’ve got a little gift for everyone.
If you’re new to the this blog, you’re in for a treat. Twelve years of free archives, for your education and enlightenment, are available 24/7. Jump down two posts below, and you’ll find an article entitled “How to give this blog a good ‘test drive’… in just 3 minutes”. Blow through that post, and you’ll be totally hip to everything this blog has to offer.
And even better…
… if you sign up right now, you’ll not only get notices for new posts (and other cool stuff I’ve got going on you should be interested in)…
… but you also get a free gift. A free report called “11 Really Stupid Blunders You’re Making With Your Biz & Career Right Now”.
It’s a brilliant short-course reality check that should help you avoid murdering your future, quickly and efficiently.
All the common mistakes I see entrepreneurs and freelance copywriters make are in there…
… identified, deconstructed, and solved.
Best damn special report I’ve ever written. Killer stuff. All the best angles and solutions I use in my lucrative consulting biz.
… it’s free. Just for signing in.
And if you’re already a sign-in fan of the blog, just sign in again to get that free report. We’ll take care of duplicate sign-ins easily enough. No hassles.
Here’s how to get your free report: Just fill in the box below…
… and you’ll get your free report emailed to you post haste.
Meanwhile, check out everything else here. The posts below are a great intro to what you’ll find in the 12-year-deep archives. And if you don’t have my books, well, get on that right now (in the right hand column). Plus, lots of other goodies.
Have fun. Don’t hurt yourself in the archives — I’ve seen people get obsessed with reading everything all at once, and it can lead to brain-freeze.
Pace your bad self.
I’ll be back here with a fresh post soon…
P.S. We just switched hosting companies, so all the comments here were left in the dust.
Please feel free to comment on any post — I hang out enough to usually answer every one, if you have questions or just want to share something.
We had a great, long run with Host Gator as our blog hosting company, but they’re gone way downhill lately, to a dangerous place where the site was down a lot. So we’ve moved to Liquid Web, which so far is a totally bitchin’ outfit. Very professional, very much on top of making sites like this work smoothly. I’m happy now…
It’s time for another orgy of graduation rites across the land…
… and, in honor of it all, I am re-posting my now globally-notorious big damn rant on the subject. This was one of the more popular posts I’ve written, so it deserves an annual rediscovery.
So, without further ado… here’s the sixth redux of that post:
Nobody’s ever asked me to give the commencement speech for a graduating class.
That’s probably a good thing. I’m pretty pissed off at the education system these days, and I might cause a small riot with the rant I’d surely deliver.
See, I have a university “education”. A BA in psychology. (The BA stands for, I believe, “bullshit amassed”.) I earned it several decades ago…
… and while I had a good time in college (height of the sex revolution, you know, with a soundtrack that is now called “classic rock”), made some lifelong friends, and got a good look at higher learning from the inside…
… that degree provided zilch preparation for the real world. Didn’t beef me up for any job, didn’t give me insight to how things worked, didn’t do squat for me as an adult.
I waltzed off-campus and straight into the teeth of the worst recession since the Great Depression (offering us Nixon’s wage-freeze, record unemployment, an oil embargo, and near-total economic turmoil)…
… so, hey, I should have a little empathy for today’s grads, right?
While today’s graduates are facing similar grim economic times, there’s been a significant change in the concept behind a college education. Somehow, over the years, a bizarre mantra has taken hold in kids minds: “Get a degree, and it’s a ticket to the Good Life.”
A job is expected to be offered to you before the ink is dry on your diploma.
And it really, really matters WHICH school you get that diploma from.
You know what I say?
Ft. Lauderdale, FL
“After 6 hours of school, I’ve had enough for the day…” (Beach Boys, “Dance, Dance, Dance“)
If this is your first time here, let’s see if we can’t make it completely painless (and even fun).
Cuz, you know, it’d be a shame if you got spooked, and were thus deprived of the vast (free) resources and time-tested tools available here.
So let’s just dive in, what d’ya say?
Step One: Sign in, under “Get The New Report” box on your upper right. Use your best email address, please. You will not be deluged with email — I post once or twice a month, max, and will send you advance notice.
I promise I’ll be a rare, welcome presence in your inbox. You can always disconnect anytime, simply and easily. This ain’t like signing up for a phone plan or a stint in the Army.
Step Two: Just skip through the (free) archives. There is ten years worth of serious advice, insight and revelations for copywriters, entrepreneurs, biz owners and even folks still at the “dreaming about it” stage of getting after your goals.
No need to get lost in there — just realize it’s available, whenever you’re ready to learn or expand your toolkit. Free.
If you’ve got a few extra minutes, though, and you’d like to read some popular recent posts, try “How To Hire A Copywriter” from last year (which helps clients understand how to get the best freelancer they can)… the redux of “The Rest Of Your Freakin’ Life” (one of the most referred-to posts on living well I’ve ever published)…
… and “The Entrepreneur’s Checklist” — a perfect “quick start” guide for moving up to the next level of your career or business goals. Fast, and without a lot of fuss… and ESPECIALLY without any surprises. You can search directly.
That’s just to get your feet wet here. A small mob of fans drift through the archives several times a week, reading only what grabs them.
You’ll discover, almost in the first minute of reading, that this isn’t your “normal” kind of blog. Most of the posts are written by me, personally. Each one has been carefully planned out, edited, and published only when ready for mass public consumption.
Step Three: Finally, be sure to examine the stuff available in the right-hand column…
… like my best-selling book “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Shit Together“. You can score the digital version for ten measly bucks, and indulge in nearly 400 pages of timeless advice, insider stories, and specific tactics to making money as a marketer or advertising honcho.
You don’t have to pick up anything in this column, of course. Just be aware of what’s available… in case you realize (perhaps after reading a post or two) that there truly IS a reason why so many professional copywriters and top marketers admit I was the mentor who flipped their switch on.
Plus, in the “Consulting” tab up top, under the logo, you’ll find out how to reach me directly. I’m one of the few grizzled veterans in the advertising world who still enjoys interacting with folks regularly, and occasionally taking on a new client. Not often, but occasionally.
Anyway, you can complete this “get acquainted” little go-round in just a few minutes.
If anything grabs you, devour it. Again, the ten years of archives are free.
I’ll be posting a fresh piece soon, too. So be sure to sign up, get your hot free report, and enjoy getting a few (and only a few) emails from me in the near future.
I may not be everybody’s cup of tea.
But if we click, we’ll click big-time… and you’ll remember this day as a turning point in your life. It doesn’t get any realer than this blog…
“Nothing is impossible for a man who refuses to listen to reason.” (Gary Halbert)
I learned a lot from Gary Halbert, but the lesson that most affected my life had nothing to do with copywriting.
Rather, it was about living well.
I began my freelance copywriting career back in the “dark ages” of the mid-eighties, when direct response advertising had gone out of fashion and there were just a handful of us “true believers” in the game, devouring the ancient (and often out-of-print) books on advertising while doing the hard work of becoming masters at old school salesmanship…
… so we could relentlessly obliterate our clueless competition in every market we went after.
I was fortunate to live in Los Angeles at the time… because multiple large agencies had just opened up branches there and were starved for competent copywriters. I quickly became the guy the creative directors snuck in the back door to do the work their house staff couldn’t pull off (because none of them studied the craft).
Then the large mailers back east caught wind of my work, and I found myself moving in the “A List” crowd of now-legendary copywriters like Gary Bencivenga and Jim Rutz (who I ghost-wrote for).
However, the corporate world bored me to tears. It was primarily financial and health newsletters with the large mailers, and insurance and equipment sales with the agencies. Yawn.
That’s when I met Gary, at Jay Abraham’s house. He was the most arrogant, vain and outrageous person I’d ever met in the business world…
… and I liked him immediately.
If you’re here via the EOFire interview with me that was just published…
Let me introduce this blog to you, briefly.
First: We’ve got a sizzling (and free) “Simple Writing System Express Course” going on right now at www.simplewritingsystem.com …
… where you can score some real marketing skills in just a few minutes.
The lessons are available right now, and it goes quick. It’s also solid fun, if you’re in any kind of business that requires killer marketing tactics to bring in the Big Bucks.
You’ll enjoy this… and the new skills you discover will transform your ability to turn prospects into customers.
Next: There’s a nice “If You’re New To The Blog” post just to your right, in the right-hand column… just click on it to bring up a quick post explaining everything.
There are some 13 years worth of FREE archives here, accessible in the lower part of the right hand column by year. Yes, this is one of the very first marketing and business blogs, and it’s been a regular stop for top entrepreneurs, copywriters and lovers of outrageously successful advice since it debuted in 2004.
In these archives, you will find a vast library of specific tactics, strategies, philosophy and direction on running a successful biz and living life well. All written by me (with two or three exceptions, when I asked colleagues to post something important). All revealing the really good stuff from my 30-year career as an “A List” copywriter, business consultant, marketing guru, and all-around bon vivant.
Dive in anywhere you like. There are tags and categories on each post… or, you can just browse.
You can get a mini-MBA education right here, straight from the street-savvy secrets I share here. All tested and proven in the brutal and unforgiving real world.
I’ve also targeted a few “must read” posts you might want to start with, from the archives.
Also in the right hand column, you can browse through the courses, books and consulting offers I keep current. Just click on any icon for more info.
… you can sign up to get email alerts when I post something new, up in the top of the right hand column. You’ll also get a cool free report.
I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. I’m sometimes crude, but always honest…
… and everything I share comes from my personal experience in the biz world. Where I established a pretty nice reputation as a copywriter to be followed, a consultant to seek out, and a speaker who blows the roof off the joint on stages worldwide.
I hope you’re the type who appreciates solid, reality-checked insight to creating, maintaining and nurturing solid business models. From creating killer products, to advertising effectively (which most marketers do NOT), to putting the pedal to the metal on living large and raking in the Big Bucks.
Because… if you ARE this type of entrepreneur or biz owner… then you’ve just stumbled on a true treasure trove of exciting, relevant and useable advice.
Go on, dive in.
Love to hear what you think, in the comments. I’m always hovering, personally answering comments and inviting others to join the threads.
P.S. If you’re interested in a good place to start, I suggest the first course I created…
… a primer on becoming a true “insider” in the advertising and marketing world called “Kickass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel”.
Dog-eared copies of this course (it’s not digital, and will be rush shipped to you when you purchase it) sit on the desks of famous, notorious and wealthy entrepreneurs, copywriters and marketers all over the world. Just check out the testimonials to see how others have put it to immediate use.
Grab your copy here.
“Well, excuuuuuuuse me.” (Steve Martin)
One of the very bright dividing lines separating happy, successful folks from the unhappy wannabe’s…
… is the role of excuses in moving through life.
Dudes and dudettes who get stuff done stare down obstacles and find ways through or around them…
… no matter how long it takes, or how many times they fail at it.
They’re the minority.
Much more common is the notion that having a good excuse lets you off the hook for getting something done.
Our bollocked-up school system encourages this — oh, your dog ate your homework? Okay, you can have an extra day.
And it just gets worse in adult life — oh, sorry I T-boned your car there, but I just broke up with my girlfriend and was re-reading her last text to me… sniff…
At some point, most civilians will be on their death-bed, looking back on their failures and crushed dreams, and have to find cold comfort in the idea that at least they had good excuses.
They tried, sort of, and had their feelings hurt or their efforts rebuffed, and what can you do?
Life’s hard, right?
Okay, fine. Cuddle up with your excuses.
You might garner a bit of sympathy from some folks, but you’ll just continue to be disregarded by anyone feasting on life and getting stuff done.
Start with being late. If you think it’s okay, as long as you have a plausible excuse (the traffic lights were absolutely conspiring against you, or gosh, clocks are just hard to understand, you know?)…
… then move to the back of the line right now.
You may actually HAVE a good excuse this time…
… but if being late is “who you are” (and yes, you are judged harshly and continually in the biz world on this stuff)…
… then consider WHY it’s a habit.
Look deep. It may be passive-aggressive behavior you picked up as a kid. It may be a symptom of happiness-corrupting disorganization (which no potential client wants any part of). It may be undiagnosed ADD, or even the first ripples of real cognitive disorder.
But usually, it’s just a habit. You keep getting away with it — or you THINK you’re getting away with it (and really, the people around you just stop relying on you, and consider you a liability).
The consequences seem mild — maybe somebody gets pissed off once in a while, or you miss a flight. Whatever. Life is hard, right?
Get off my case.
The problem, of course, is that if you want to play in the level above you — in biz, romance, sports or just generally effective living — you are going to pay dearly for your bad habits.
Top clients won’t put up with sloppy non-professional behavior. Self-respecting potential romantic partners will avoid committing to you.
And a whole bunch of cool life experiences will vanish…
… all because you think having a good excuse absolves you from the responsibility to be where you said you’d be, when you said you’d be there… prepared to do what you said you’d do.
Getting away with something is NOT the same as “succeeding”.
Highly effective people, who get shit done and succeed at life, rarely allow excuse-artists into their lives in any meaningful way.
Buy a fucking watch. Add twenty minutes to your estimation of how long you’ll need to get somewhere (or more)…
… and if you’re early, find a spot to kick back and check email or Facebook or just relax. Or read a book. There’s no such thing as “wasting time by being early”. Be prepared for it.
And it’s worth repeating: Yes, the people operating in the level above you ARE judging you by these small behaviors.
Maybe other folks in your world are just character actors, whose time isn’t worth much. (That’s the way stone-cold sociopaths think, you know.)
However, the successful crowd you want to be dealing with will not put up with that bullshit.
Okay, you better get moving. You’re gonna be late…
P.S. The foundation of living effectively…
… is really just a bunch of simple insights, rules and strategies that are easy to adopt…
… once you figure out what they ARE.
Simple shortcut to finding them out, right here.
P.P.S. Yeah, I drew the cartoon at the top. College days, when I was the staff doodler at The Cal Aggie Times in Davis.
This was my idea of wickedly insightful humor.
I dunno… what do you think?