Tag Archives for " writing "

Who’s Watching Your Back?

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Thursday, 7:41pm
Reno, NV
Please allow me to introduce myself…” (Stones, Sympathy For The Devil)

Howdy…

This is one of those lessons that arrived accidentally…

… and I had to stop and ruminate about it for a while before it made sense.

I’m lucky I learned it early, too.

It’s provided me with a home base of sanity when the chaos has reached shuddering crescendos and it was hard to think straight (let alone make snap decisions when crisis loomed).

You may find it obvious.

That’s fine.  Just don’t go thinking it’s obvious to the rest of the mean ol’ world out there… cuz it ain’t.

Here’s the story: One of my first jobs working for Gary Halbert was to fly to Detroit… and interview a guy who’d just lost 750 pounds.

Yeah, you read that right.Read more…

Have A Good One…

Misha being cute

Thursday, 11:42pm
Reno, NV
You’ve got to be digging it while it’s happening, cuz it just might be a one-shot deal.”  (Frank Zappa)

Howdy…

Today, I want to say “Thanks” to all the wonderful people in my life.

And I hope you’re having a great holiday.

Sure, the airports are clogged with sneezing, coughing mobs enraged by delays and the prospect of being locked in a house with relatives they can’t stand for a week.

And yes, the politics of this country continue to crawl ever deeper down the rabbit hole leading to Bat-Shit Crazy Land.

And everywhere you look, greed and fear and suspicion lurk.

And yet… the world spins on, and if you can just let your mind settle for a few moments, the raw gorgeous beauty of everything can still take your breath away.

There’s a clever Chinese toast that carries both a curse and a blessing: “May you live in interesting times.”

As all wordsmiths know, that word “interesting” embraces both the good and the bad, the yin and the yang, of life.

Danger, excitement, and adventure.  The kind of events that will either kill you or make you stronger.Read more…

How To Murder Your Business In 2010

Exlim 6-09 105

Wednesday, 4:48pm
Reno, NV
Shake the hand, that shook the hand, of PT Barnum and Charlie Chan” (The Grateful Dead, “US Blues”)

Howdy…

You know what the first thing many entrepreneurs and small biz owners do on January 1st (right after gagging down Excedrin with a warm dollop of “Hair o’ the dog”)?

They despair.

You know why?

It’s because… for all the “promise” a new year holds…

… for most folks in business, the months ahead are just shadows in a dark fog.

When times are good, maybe — maybe — you can stumble over some tasty opportunities as you wander.

When times are bad… you know, like our current recession-shackled economy… that fog of uncertainty gets thick enough to choke you.

Would you like to know what the UNCOMMON entrepreneurs and small biz owners do when looking ahead to 2010?

They smile.  They yawn at the recession.  And they feel damn good about their nice, clear, unobstructed view of the coming months.

No fog.  No murderous pitfalls hidden in the shadows.

They are uncommon, because they are PREPARED.

They have an action plan… and they know how to implement it.

You wanna commit business suicide?  Stumble into the coming year without a clue how you’re going to grow or get better results.

You wanna join the Feast, where the Smart Few are enjoying floods of traffic, maxed-out conversions, and the kind of almost-ridiculously-abundant free time (like a vacation every month) that “most” biz owners can only dream about?

Then get hip to the amazing magic of putting together a simple action plan.

And make sure it’s a plan you can easily (and even joyously) implement right away.

I’d like to help you, if you think getting some honest, hard-core, proven mentoring can get you off your duff… and into your seat at the Feast.

Here’s what’s up: There has always been a stark contrast between those who plan, and those who don’t even know how to plan.

For nearly 30 years now, as a high-paid consultant, I’ve been helping entrepreneurs and biz owners figure out the critical first steps to take to get moving in a new, profitable, easier (and more fun) direction.

Having even a simple plan (with just a few steps to take) will change your life forever.

But only if you are confident (and know the easy tricks) of putting this simple plan into action.

I know how to do this.  And I hang out with masters of simple-but-insanely-lucrative planning.

So…

… I’m holding a live workshop-seminar in San Diego the last weekend of January…

… where you can come and get direct help putting your own killer action plan together.

Plus learn the tricks to implementation.  The key to making your plan a reality.

We’re gonna fill you up with proven, easy step-by-step actions to take immediately… to:

  • Blow away all constraints on flooding your biz with fresh, super-qualified traffic…
  • Put yourself in the “go to guy” spot in your market, with all the influence and swag that gets heaped on honest authority figures…
  • Maximize your ability to convert leads into happy sales…
  • And finally learn the “lazy man’s way” to put your productivity in high gear.

Best part: The powerful simplicity of this kind of planning…

… means that veteran business owners will immediately benefit, as well as raw rookies.

Most people absolutely suck at planning.

And if you insist on trying to do it yourself, without expert help…

… you’re headed down a rabbit hole that can trap you, confuse you, and murder your business while you’re fighting self-created emergencies.

The top marketers (including any competition now cleaning your clock) ALL know how to map out a simple action plan… and put it in motion.

Even the best plan in the universe is worthless, if it never gets implemented.

This, by the way, is the problem with most seminars: You get a mountain of ideas dumped on you, with no hint of how to execute any of them.

The advanced stuff (which you shouldn’t be touching yet) gets all jumbled up with soon-to-be-obsolete stuff, which buries the easy stuff…

… and you’re left with zero “real” plans.

Just a lot of notes and wishes and dreams again.

Well, screw that.

We’re even calling this unique event “The Action Seminar“.

And it is populated with the best teachers and planning wizards I know.  Including…

Mike Koenigs, the uber-talented genius behind “Traffic Geyser”… who specializes in getting the most stubbornly-resistant people to quickly (actually immediately) use his simple-yet-awesomely-effective video secrets to carpet bomb the Web with a killer sales message.  (The cheapest camera you can find will do the trick, too.)

James “Schrakmo” Schramko… the brilliant Aussie who came out of nowhere last year (knowing squat about the Web), to dominate search engine rankings and generally crush all competitors in any market he chose to conquer.

He understands what it’s like to be a rookie looking for a clue… and he has made a huge name for himself helping entrepreneurs zoom to dominance with minimal skills and very little investment.

The simple plans that are easy to master, and simple to implement, is the way to get rich and happy as fast as possible.

Oh, and check this out: Teran Dale (my personal favorite PPC advisor) has the inside track on Google.  He’s managed as much as $1 million dollars a day in pay-per-click advertising in huge, super-competitive niches.

The kicker: The competition in these niches are paying $7 – $12 dollars per click… while Teran’s clients are only paying $0.21 cents.

If you suspect that everything you believe about PPC is dead wrong… you’re right.

Teran will be working directly with select folks at this seminar, while we watch and learn.  And he’s gonna be sharing ALL the good stuff… brought down to doable, simple and easy steps.  (You’re invited to join the pool of attendees we’ll choose Teran’s subjects from.)

Oh, yeah.

This is just a small taste of the Feast you’re about to share in.

We’ve also got the globally-respected Les Brown (to get your head straight about planning for success)… Melanie Benson Strick (to help you finally get off your butt and start being massively productive) (with more time off)…

… my hilarious (but deadly serious about profits) colleagues Travis Miller and Jimmy Vee will show you how to become a social media MONSTER (even if you can’t yet spell “blog”)…

… and I’ll be joined by copywriting legends Harlan Kilstein (still the only guy around who can show you how to hypnotize readers into following you anywhere) and Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero (of “She Factor” fame — and remember, the ladies still control 90% of the money out there, guys).

Plus: The entire faculty of the Simple Writing System mentoring program will be there, for you to corner and suck every shred of sales-boosting secret out of their super-talented brains.

Let’s drop names:  Kevin Rogers (my head writer for The Stable O’ Copywriters)… “Million Dollar” Mike Morgan (a top freelancer with tremendous chops)… Tony Flores (head writer for The Arbitrage Conspiracy)… Scott Haines (a killer writer and old pal of mine and Gary Halbert’s)… Jimbo Curley (the star writer who replaces me at OHP Golf)… Tina Lorenz (easily the hottest copywriter in the “launch” game right now)… and two “under the radar” (for now) writers I’ve personally hired to write for me: Robert Gibson and Mark Landstrom.

Special guest stars include “A List” copywriter David Deutsch (who recently had 6 million-dollar controls for Boardroom, Inc)… Gary Halbert’s sons Bond and Kevin (who I’ve been working closely with while they restructure Gary’s legacy)… and some Mystery Guests who should blow your mind.

There’s just one catch:

This event is coming up soon… and there are VERY limited spots open.

To get the details, just check out this info-site:

www.marketingrebel.com/action-seminar

There’s quite a bit more to the fun and seriously-lucrative stuff you’ll encounter at this rare, totally unique event.

And… I am personally making sure that you get at least 12 action-steps, customized to your situation, that are simple enough for you to implement as soon as you get home (or back to your room).

If you can handle more, you’ll get more.

But the main thing is this: This ain’t a “talk at you” event.

It’s interactive… and it’s all about helping you put together a freakin’ PLAN to go out and put into action NOW.

So you can get back to your office and start demolishing your evil competitors and dominating your market.

While earning more, and having more time off, and generally being happier and staring down the economy and every obstacle in your life…

… and winning.

Oh, this is gonna be good.

For the few who get their act together and score a spot, that is.

For the rest… well, good luck out there in the fog.

Seriously — go check out the info-site now.  (You’re gonna faint when you see how CHEAP it is, too):

www.marketingrebel.com/action-seminar/

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Just in case it wasn’t made crystal clear:  No prior experience or skills or hidden “insider” advantages are necessary to make ANY of this stuff work like crazy for you.

Just hurry, okay? It’s coming up fast, and won’t be repeated.

It's All Fun & Games Until…

iPhone09-2 253

Saturday, 2:48pm
Tampa, FL
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?” (Monty Python)

Howdy…

Special treat today on the blog.

Another guest post by our good friend, colleague and former stand-up comic (before his new career as killer copywriter), Kevin Rogers.

(Kevin is also the head writer for my Stable O’ Copywriters project, where you can find a recommended freelancer who meets my strict standards of professionalism — and who has my ear for consultations: www.carlton-copywriting.com.)

This cat is funny.  And every time Kevin and I hang out, I’m reminded of two things:

1. Nearly every top marketer and writer I know personally… has a shockingly-acute high-end sense of humor. (This explains the comraderie you see among the best in the biz.  We make each other laugh.)

2. And… there are awesomely valuable insights to life and success available in studying lessons in tales from the “vice squad”. (Meaning, that part of living well which includes hanging out, challenging the boundaries of sobriety, and squandering time laughing as hard as you can for as long as you can.)

Being funny won’t make you smarter.  And it doesn’t bestow an automatic deeper understanding of human behavior.

However… if you pay attention… Read more…

Writer's block is…

Saturday, 12:17pm
Reno, NV
So what?” (Miles Davis)

Howdy…

Okay, I know I’m a few hours late delivering the answer to the very excellent Quiz #8.

I had writer’s block.  Just couldn’t think of what to write…

Kidding!  I’m joshing with you.

I apologize for the delay.  Simple matter of being abducted by friends and whisked off to an enjoyable Friday adventure.  I earned it, and knew you’d forgive me for being a tad late with the solution to the Quiz.  (You know it takes me several hours to concoct these posts, right?)

Let’s get down to it, then.

First: I want to thank, and congratulate, everyone who posted for the Quiz.  The threads on this blog are always energizing mini-riots of good critical thinking…

… along with a smattering of cleverness, sheer brilliance, pontificating idiocy, and (always) one or two utterly outraged comments from folks who wandered into the fray by accident.

I love it all.

As many have noted… the comment threads at this blog rival the actual posts for being fascinating reading.

There’s some smokin’-hot wisdom out there, for anyone paying attention.

Second:  Here is the answer to the Quiz question…

“Writer’s block is…Read more…

DIY vs. Mentoring

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Thursday, 12:15pm
Reno, NV
It’s too hard.  You’ll never figure it out.” (What the first copywriter I ever met told me about writing ads.)

Howdy…

I’m going to tell you about two promises here.

The stories behind them may help you chart out the rest of your life… as they did mine.

Harken:

Promise #1:

The above quote (“It’s too hard.  You’ll never figure it out.”) are the exact words that a professional copywriter said to me when I innocently asked for advice.

They are burned into my cerebral cortex, because it was one of the first times I had ever nurtured a small ember of actual hope about my future in business…

… and she crushed it like a bug.

All I’d wanted from her was a smidgen of advice. Maybe point me in the right direction.  Or offer a small word of encouragement.

I was lost at the time.  Trapped in the drudgery of a dead-end J.O.B. that sucked big-time.

And I was genuinely clueless about the process of writing anything for business.  I’d never met a real copywriter before, and was very interested in finding out more.

I didn’t even know what the word “mentor” meant at the time… but I suppose I would have squirmed with joy if she had said, instead, something like “Let me help you learn how to do this.”

Still, she did me a HUGE favor by being such a miserable, hateful bitch.

As I stood at her desk, burning with shame for having asked for something and been so brutally refused…

… I promised myself that I would prove her wrong.

And I used that promise as motivation whenever I needed some extra oomph in the next year or so, as I figured out — on my own, without help from anyone — how to write killer sales messages.

So I owe her one.  She did me a proper by igniting my until-then-dormant ability to Do It Myself.  Literally with a vengeance.

I launched my solo career as a freelance writer entirely on my own.  I took the Do It Yourself ethic and ran with it…Read more…

More Free Goodies Than You Probably Deserve…

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Sunday, 7:57pm
Reno, NV
It’s alive!” (Baron Von Frankenstein, kickstarting the Monster)

Howdy…

We’ve just fired up the Simple Writing System blog (www.simplewritingsystem.com/blog)…

… which means a stunning (and unprecedented) pile of free tools, tactics, advice and insight can be yours…

… just for the grabbing.

This is an all-out assault on reason and logic.  We’re just GIVING AWAY stuff that — not too long ago — would have cost you a pretty penny just to get a quick glimpse of.

We’ve created a beast here, and it’s name is FREE.

Here’s just a small taste of what’s piling up over there (that you’re missing out on if you haven’t signed in):

  • A free swipe file of “home run” ads I’ve written (which few folks outside the target markets have ever seen)… can be in your tool kit tonight.  This swipe file, alone, is causing hearts to skip a beat among marketers and freelance writers who love to rip juicy headlines and sales angles from proven ads.  (Removes any guesswork on who/what to rip.)
  • A short (but frightenly powerful) series of special reports channeling the best “how to make the sale” secrets I’ve ever used.  (I used to keep this stuff classified, only bringing it out during high-paid consultations… and here we are giving it away.)
  • The actual video (torn directly from the masters hidden in Frank’s inner sanctum) of my “How to persuade, influence and sell the shit out of anything… using the simplest stories you can create” presentation at Mass Control.

What?  You didn’t see that presentation?

It’s marketing theater at its finest… Read more…

Cheeky Bastards

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Tuesday, 12:20pm
Melbourne, Australia
“Buttula spruiks arrival of Spork at his new gig.” (Actual headline in last Thursday’s “The Australian” newspaper)

Howdy…

Reporting in from the fringes of the Outback…

… okay, I’m actually comfortably settled in an intriguing old hotel in Melbourne, nowhere near the Outback.

It still feels like I’m far from home, though.

Two weeks into this March Across Australia now, part of a bedraggled troupe of speakers, and I’m thrashed.  Don’t get me wrong — this is a great country, and we’ve been warmly embraced by the locals and shown amazingly-generous hospitality daily.

It’s just a long damn trip… made longer by that nasty plate of deep-fried snapper I had Saturday night at what looked like a decent little upscale restaurant downtown.  I forgot the old rule of traveling:  Never eat stuff that arrives with the eyeballs still staring at you.

I deserved the ensuing bout of immune-system-destroying dysphoria, I suppose.  Last December, in Dubai, a bunch of us sauntered down to the bad part of town to sample “native” fare the night before we spoke… and nothing happened.  We gobbled questionable curries and unidentifiable chunks of stew, and lived to tell the tale.

Afterward, we all looked at each other and said “What have we done?”

For most of my life, I’ve had little angels (or maybe just confused demons, I dunno) looking out for me… so I somehow managed to stay one step ahead of the Federales in Mexico, just-missed by the would-be hit-and-run jalopy in Hollywood, and usually slightily out of reach of the snarling bugs everywhere else yearning for a vacation in my intestines.  (To name a few examples out of many.)

So, this time I got caught.  It’s not Oz’s fault.  It’s all on me.

And, I’m recovering fairly quickly.  We have a couple of days to dig deeper into Melbourne’s wonders (my second time in the city), and then travel to Brisbane for the final leg of this preposterous journey.

Seems like Sydney was a month ago.

So, anyway, I’m just checking in to let you know that I believe I’ve found the answer to the long suicidal swan dive that American newspapers are taking.

And it’s very simple: Read more…

Your Own Private Chemical Dump

Sunday, 9:07pm
Reno, NV
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I’ve never tried before.”  (Mae West)

Howdy…

A friend, who is briliant at marketing, asked me a question today about writing that has implications for most people.

This guy is a decent writer… but it takes him forever to get copy down on paper. It’s just agonizingly slow, and he hates me because I do it so fast.

Everytime we talk, he sneaks in a question about my writing “habits”, hoping to find the hidden magic secret to getting copy knocked out in record time. This time, he asked about my notoriety as a night owl, and whether I wrote best late at night.

I am a night owl. Even as a kid, the late evening hours held special allure for me. I suffered in the “real” corporate world, because arriving to work by 8 am was just an ordeal. I nearly flunked several courses in high school and college, because they began at 9 am.

Night owls get no slack from anyone.

There have been numerous studies proving that “night people” do exist — our body temperature, alertness and problem-solving abilities actually increase after dinner. A few savvy schools have even identified kids who were like me, and by moving thier classes to the afternoon, reversed their academic decline.

When I first went out on my own as a freelancer, one the of HUGE benefits was being able to work all night, and not worry about having to show up at anyone’s office looking bright and spiffy the following morning. I would frequently work until dawn.

The guy asking me about working at night is also an admitted night owl. He’s also a married man with kids, and a nocturnal work habit wouldn’t go over so well with the family.

So I told him to forget about trying to find the magic of writing fast and good by staying up later.

Because, early in my career, I made a discovery that I didn’t want to be true: I could write juust as good, and just as fast, just as easily, in the morning… as I could in my so-called “peak” hours late at night.

This discovery ruined my best excuse for not writing during the day. Turns out, once you become a craftsman at a skill, you can crank it up whenever it’s needed.

You may pay a price — such as getting exhausted faster, or screwing up your sleeping habits… but you CAN do it. You are NOT a slave to preconceived working hours.

However… I do recommend that you find a time in your day, every day, where you can arrange the space, peace and equipment to write. A two-to-four hour slot of uninteruptable time.

It can be first thing in the morning (as many famous writers insist on), or at the end of the day, after everyone else has turned in (as many other writers end up doing). Get the social implications of your choice in order, so that time becomes sacred. Phone off the hook, locked door, drapes pulled, whatever it takes.

It’s using the power of ROUTINE. There are two reasons why routine works for writers:

1. It becomes an addiction. At whatever-o’clock, you will quickly feel like you need to be at your desk, writing. Anything else that comes up, short of the house burning down or a visit to the ER, gets second billing. You’ll be back to the “real” world right after your writing session. But for now, you’ve got an appointment with a blank page.

2. You actually train your body to dump the internal stew of hormones and chemicals that aid in the kind of focused concentration and mind-play required to write.

It’s the same reason you should exercise at the same time every day — your body will actually do a little preparation as you head to the gym, gearing up the broth needed for lifting and sweating and grunting.

Sleep experts say the best way to get more deep sleep, while sleeping less total hours, and feeling more energy while awake… is to simply have the same bedtime and rising time, every day of your life. So your body isn’t freaked out — like a dog anxiously wondering if we’re ever gonna go to bed tonight — by changing patterns, and so doesn’t overdose or underdose on REM and dreams.

Same with diet. Bill Phillips, author of “Eating For Life” and a guy you do NOT want to argue with about diet, eats six meals a day, at regular times. So his body doesn’t gobble up each opportunity to store fat, thinking he’s starving. And it learns to function at optimum capacity on smaller portions.

So… the key to pumping out reams of great writing, is to set up routines. For some reason, the last few generations (startng with mine) have scoffed at routine, like it’s some cute relic of our grandfather’s time.

It’s not. You can spend the rest of your day being unpredictable and spontaneous and wonderfully whacky… but when it comes to your designated writing time, no one and no thing interferes.

This is a primary element of Operation MoneySuck: Do what you need to do to get the important stuff done, efficiently and regularly.

Side note: You won’t find your groove immediately. You may have to try finding your solid two-to-four hours at different times in your day, through trial and error.

The key is to find a time where you won’t be interupted. My assistant, for example, sometimes arrives while I’m still in writing mode. She knows not to disturb me, doesn’t take it personally, and even takes steps to make sure nothing else disturbs me either.

People will cooperate, once they understand what you’re trying to do.

Sort of. There will also be people in your life who cannot abide the idea that someone (like you) might actually be doing something proactive with your life. And they will find ways to screw with your routine.

It will become important for them to find a way to make you NOT establish a routine. Trust me on this. Mostly, they’re doing this unconsciously… but sometimes they’re well aware of what they’re doing.

When you start establishing radical routines like this, you’ll start producing stuff at an alarming rate. Your life will begin to move faster, and things will begin happening to you. Goals will start getting met, money will start pouring in, your status and position will grow.

This frightens those people in your life who fear change. Watch for this trap. Don’t fall for it.

Side note #2: It will take a while for you to realize when you’ve found your groove, too. People tend to forget that it takes time to get over being the new kid on the block… no matter what you apply that metaphor to.

The first few times I went to my new gym, I felt like the New Guy. Because I WAS the new guy. There was some awkwardness, everyone was a stranger, I got lost trying to find the men’s room.

Then, one fine day a few weeks later, I realized I was totally comfortable at this place. I had a routine. I waltzed in, and said hello to the attendant, who had my towel and bottle of water already waiting for me. All the regular staff nodded hello to me as I passed them. I breezily established my position at my usual warm-up bike, nodded at the other regulars (all on their favorite machine), and drifted easily into “I’m exercising here” mode.

Don’t sweat being the New Guy. It’s just a transition period you must go through. It’s the way it works.

Same with your writing routine. It won’t feel exactly right at first. May take you months to get settled in the right time, with the right routine. So what?

Once you do find your groove, you are off to the races.

Go get ’em…

Stay frosty,

John Carlton

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