Monday, 7:55pm
Reno, NV
“But it’s all right… in fact it’s a gas…” (The Stones, “Jumpin’ Jack Flash“)

Howdy…

It’s time for another orgy of graduation rites across the land…

… and, in honor of it all, I am re-posting my now globally-notorious big damn rant on the subject. This was one of the more popular posts I’ve ever written, so it deserves an annual rediscovery.

So, without further ado… here’s the annual redux of that post:

Ahem.

Nobody’s ever asked me to give the commencement speech for a graduating class.

That’s probably a good thing. I’m pretty pissed off at the education system these days, and I might cause a small riot with the rant I’d surely deliver.

See, I have a university “education”. A BA in psychology. (The BA stands for, I believe, “bullshit amassed”.) I earned it several decades ago…

… and while I had a good time in college (height of the sex revolution, you know, with a soundtrack that is now called “classic rock”), made some lifelong friends, and got a good look at higher learning from the inside…

… that degree provided zilch preparation for the real world. Didn’t beef me up for any job, didn’t give me insight to how things worked, didn’t do squat for me as an adult.

I waltzed off-campus and straight into the teeth of the worst recession since the Great Depression (offering us Nixon’s wage-freeze, record unemployment, an oil embargo, and near-total economic turmoil)…

… so, hey, I should have a little empathy for today’s grads, right?

Naw.

While today’s graduates are facing similar grim economic times, there’s been a significant change in the concept behind a college education. Somehow, over the years, a bizarre mantra has taken hold in kids minds:

“Get a degree, and it’s a ticket to the Good Life.”

A job is expected to be offered to you before the ink is dry on your diploma.

And it really, really matters WHICH school you get that diploma from.

You know what I say?

Bullshit. Okay, maybe if you go to Yale or Harvard, you can make the connections on Wall Street and in Washington to get your game on. Maybe. (More likely, those connections are already available, if you’re gonna get ‘em, through family bloodlines… and the Ivy’s are just playing up their famous track records in a classic sleight-of-hand.)

Put aside the advancement opportunities offered to spawn of the oligarchy, though… and the realities of life-outside-of-academia do not jive at all with the propaganda doled out by the university systems.

Many of the richest guys I know are drop-outs. Some are HIGH SCHOOL drop-outs. The few friends who did go to the kind of school whose name causes eyebrows to rise…

… are ALL working far outside their major. To the point that nothing they learned has proven to be even remotely useful to their adult life. (Unless they stumble upon another over-educated dweeb at a cocktail party and get into a bare-knuckle Trivial Pursuit marathon.)

Too many people get all confused and bewildered about “education” as opposed to “going to college”.

It’s not the same thing, folks.

Some of the most clueless individuals I’ve ever met have impressive diplomas… while nearly all of the most savvy (and wealthy) individuals I know done got educated all on their lonesomes.

I learned more about history, business and psychology in 2 weeks of serious pre-Web library surfing (with a speed reading course under my belt) than I did in 4 years of college.

And I learned more about life in 3 months of hanging out with street-wise salesmen than I did from ANY source, anywhere, up to that time.

By all means, go to college if that’s part of your Master Plan to having a great life. You’ll meet interesting people, and it’s a Rite Of Passage for many Americans these days.

But don’t do it blindly. Just cuz The Man says it’s what you’re “supposed” to do.

Do some critical thinking before you jump in.

And if you really want that degree in Russian literature, or women’s studies, or political science, or whatever… then fine. Go get ‘em. Grrr.

Just KNOW that you can probably educate your own damn self on those subjects… and even get a deeper understanding of it all… by reading every book written about it, and interviewing a few experts. And if you can get private mentoring from someone, even better.

This can all take place during evenings and weekends, over the course of a few months, while you hold down a day job. Even if you buy the books, instead of hitting up libraries, you’ll have spent less on this specialized education than you’d pay for a single semester in “real” school.

And, unless you’re the laziest screw-up ever, you’ll actually learn MORE in those few months of intense immersion… than you would with a full-on degree.

You know how I can make this bold claim with a straight face?

Because this is what I’ve been doing as a freelancer for decades. Every time I wrote for a new market, I spent weeks immersing myself in it… learning everything I could about it from the inside-out. And this process often made me more of an expert than the client himself.

And I did it over and over and over again.

It was just part of the job.  All top freelancers do this.

Once you lose your fear of self-education…

… you can finally let it sink in that WE LIVE IN THE FREAKIN’ INFORMATION AGE. The joint is crammed to bursting with books, ebooks, videos, websites, courses…

… the whole world is CRAZY well-stocked. There are teachers and coaches and mentors available if you need supervision. (I’ve partaken of this opportunity frequently over my life.) Boards and fan-zines and forums and membership sites abound (for bitching and moaning, as well as for networking with peers).

It’s a cornucopia of knowledge, experience and adventure out there.

Yes, there are blind alleys and pitfalls and wrong turns…

… but once you’re committed to learning something, these are just brief excursions off the main drag… and you can use even your failures as advanced learning tools as you gain expert status. (In fact, it’s really required that you screw up at least a little bit. Otherwise, you never get perspective.)

And best of all…

… you can engage with life as you go. And skip the jarring nonsense of the Ivory Tower bubble.

(One caveat to self-education: You must, early on, read up on how debates are actually taught. Or join a debate club.

I’m serious. Best thing I’ve ever done. As you sample debating, you should demand that you get to defend the OPPOSITE viewpoint that you currently hold for any subject. This forces you to look beyond your petty biases, and open your mind to other points of view.

This is a HUGE advantage to have in your toolkit throughout life. Everyone else will be hobbled with un-examined party-line nonsense and indoctrinated crap they can’t even begin to defend when challenged…

… while you — with your rare ability to walk in anyone’s shoes, and to feel the pain or glory of alien thought patterns — will forever more see beyond the sound bites and cliches. And be able to eloquently explain anything, to anyone.

You will actually begin to sense vestiges of “truth” in the wreckage of our modern culture.

I don’t have to tell you how that might apply to marketing, do I?)

Most people will not go this route of self-examination and immersion-learning, of course. The concept of taking control of your own education seems kinda threatening and foreign to the majority out there.

We spend the first years of our lives sitting quietly in classrooms, being brainwashed to believe we don’t know shit (and that Teacher knows everything). That’s excellent training for hitting a groove in college and post-grad pursuits…

… but it’s piss-poor preparation for Life In The Concrete Jungle.

Again, nothing wrong about going with the status quo. No shame.

Just don’t expect to learn much about the way the world works. You’re learning how academia works. Different animal.

Wanna hear my short speech on how to prepare yourself for life? (I’ve edited this from a recent post I wrote for the Simple Writing System coaching program.  Lots of great stuff keeps coming out of that gig…)

Ahem.

Here’s my mini-rant: If I ran the world, everyone would get at least a taste of being an entrepreneur, during their formative years.

It will taste bitter to most people. And that’s fine. No harm, no foul. You found out it’s not for you, and you can move on to getting that job with The Man.

But for some… it will be sweet nectar. A thrill like nothing else they’ve ever experienced before.

Being an entrepreneur takes balls.

But you don’t have to “be” a ballsy kind of person.

You just have to understand how to implement your goals… which requires a little savvy about getting stuff done in the face of opposition and obstacles. Which is the definition of “ballsy”. Most folks who are successful at achieving goals were not born with the necessary attitude.

They learned the skill of living life with guts, just like they learned every other important skill associated with the gig.

I OFTEN intervene even with long-time professionals (like freelance writers, or veteran biz owners) who are screwing up their efforts to be successful.

My main advice: “Stop being a wuss. Everyone is scared. The successful ones acknowledge that fear, put it aside, and just get busy taking care of business.”

It really is that simple.

Life beyond childhood is for grown-ups. If you’re scared, you can take a regular job somewhere, and stay far away from the risks and realities of being your own boss.

On the other hand… if you’ve got entrepreneur’s blood in your veins… and you really DO want to be your own boss…

… then allow the reality of doing so to wash over you, and embrace it.

Everyone is unsure of themselves out there. There are no guarantees in life for anything… and getting into biz is among the riskiest things of all to do.

A tiny percentage of skydivers will die each year while jumping… but a vast chunk of rookie business owners will fail.

This is why you pursue the skills of salesmanship. Learning how to create a wicked-good sales message, how to close a deal, and how to bond with a target market is the PRIMARY weapon you want walking into ANY business environment.

Will you still fail? Maybe.

But you will NOT fail because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. If knowing how to persuade and influence can make your business sizzle, then learning salesmanship means you’re armed to the teeth. Like everything else in life, having the right tools for the job at hand is the best way to put the odds in your favor.

MOST people are not meant to be their own boss. The world needs followers, too.

Here’s what I tell students in the Simple Writing System, for example, when doubts about their future bubble up: “Just by diving into a coaching program like this — or immersing yourself into any kind of intense entrepreneurial program — you have shown that there is something different burning inside you. No one held a gun to your head and forced you to come here to learn these skills. You decided to join all on your own.

“Even if you’re not yet sure why you’ve joined us here… you need to understand that MOST people would never even consider doing anything like this.

“Independence freaks most people out. The thought of standing up and taking responsibility for the birth and success of a business is terrifying… and most will refuse to even entertain the thought.

“This is, by the way, why you should always enter the entrepreneurial world WITHOUT relying on your current crop of friends for support.

“They will not applaud your efforts. They think you’re batshit crazy for daring to even consider being your own boss. They will (consciously or unconsciously) sabotage your progress if they can, and rejoice in your failures… because if you DO succeed, that kills their main excuse for not succeeding themselves. Most folks believe success is all about luck and magic. When you dig in and actually do the work necessary to succeed, you piss all over their world view that The Little Guy Can’t Win.

“If you’ve made friends or started a network of fellow travelers here in the SWS, great. Most entrepreneurs have to operate alone (until they find places like this, where they can find help, advice and coaching). That loneliness just intensifies the fear and sense of risk.

“But I’ll tell you the truth: As scary as being independent is…

“… once you’ve tasted it, you’ll be hooked.”

Most entrepreneurs who enjoy even a little success instantly become “unemployable”. After thinking for yourself, after taking responsibility for your success or failure, after engaging the world fully aware and experiencing the thrill of living large…

… you’re worthless to a boss. He can’t use anyone who thinks for themselves.

Are you wracked with doubt?

That voice you hear — the one knocking you down, digging a knife into your gut and highlighting your worst fears — is JUST A VOICE.

In psychoanalytic talk, it’s your “Super Ego”… the scolding parent’s voice, the doubter of your abilities, the whiny little bastard bent on keeping you down.

And it can easily be sent packing.

Most people allow others to write the script for their lives. Rules and bad advice and grim experiences dating back to childhood somehow become “the way it is”…

… and regardless of any proof otherwise, they will obey that voice until they die.

And yet, all you have to do…

… is acknowledge the voice (“Yes, I hear you, you little shit“), realize it’s not your friend… and lock it in a dungeon deep in your brain, where you can’t hear it anymore.

I speak from experience on this subject. I was ruled by The Voice Of Doom for the first half of my life. I didn’t even try to take responsibility for my success, because The Voice told me it was hopeless. That I was hopeless. That Fate had nothing but failure in store for me.

Then, I realized that The Voice was actually full of it. I proved it, slowly at first, by setting a goal outside The Voice’s warnings… and then achieving it. And then doing it again.

It’s like superstition. I used to be the most superstitious guy you’ve ever met. Literally, my life was dominated by superstitions.

Then, one day, I just decided to see how real those superstitions were. So I violated every single one of them. On purpose. If I had previously thought some action was “bad luck”, I would do it, blatantly, just to see what kind of bad luck occurred.

And, of course, no bad luck ever appeared.

The human brain is crammed with nonsense like this. Superstitions, bad rules, dumb beliefs, unfounded fears and ridiculous feelings of guilt and shame.

Especially guilt and shame.

You know what a fully functioning adult does? They don’t approach life believing it should be a certain way, or wish that life was a certain way.

No. They engage with life the way it really is. You make your own luck. Rules sometimes make good sense, but deserve to be broken when they’re clearly stupid. Belief systems often have nothing to do with reality. (You can “believe” you’re gonna win the lottery with all your heart and soul… and it won’t change reality one tiny bit.)

Fear is a natural part of our defense system… and it can get out of hand in modern times.

So you need to dig in and get to know your fears.  Some are fine — don’t walk down that dark alley if you’re not prepared to deal with the things that happen in dark alleys.

Others are counter-productive — you had a bad experience once when you were 12, and so what? Get over it, put on your Big Boy or Big Girl Pants, and re-engage with life.

And shame? Guilt and shame are useless. On the road of life, feeling guilty about something is like setting up camp and refusing to move or progress any further.

Instead, try “remorse” — recognize when you’ve done something wrong, clean up the mess, fix what you’ve broken as best you can, and make amends to people you’ve hurt.

And don’t “vow” to do better next time.

Instead, actually DO something to change your behavior or habits. Promises are bullshit. Action is the only way to move through life in a positive way.

Don’t promise to do better. Just do better. This will probably involve learning something new — a new skill, a new way of dealing with life, a new set of behaviors.

Doing this will set you apart from the majority of other people out there, too.

The modern Renaissance Man or Woman is something awesome to behold. While the rest of the world increasingly sinks into a snoozing Zombie-state — indoctrinated, fooled, manipulated and played– you have the option of becoming MORE aware, more awake, more alert and ready to live life with gusto.

However, no one is going to force you to do this.

If you want to join the Feast of Life, you have to step up and earn your seat at the table. You will not be invited in. You will not stumble in by accident, or stroke of luck.

Nope. You must take responsibility for your own life… figure out what you want… and then go get it.

It’s a daunting task for most folks… too daunting to even contemplate.

For the few who know it’s what they want, however… it’s all just a matter of movement and action.

Yes, it can be scary. Life is terrifying, at times.

It’s also only worth living, for many people, when you go after it with all your heart.

There are no replays on this game. No second tickets for the ride.

You’re allowed to sleep through all of it. Most folks do.

If that’s not good enough for you any more, then welcome to the rarefied air of the entrepreneur world.

It’s fun, it’s thrilling, it’s scary, and there’s no safety net below you.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And that’s the commencement speech I’d give.

Put you to sleep, didn’t it.

Okay, my work is done here.

What would YOU tell new grads? Lay it out in the comments, below…

Stay frosty,

John “The Prof” Carlton

Monday, 6:16pm
Reno, NV
“We’ll meet again, don’t know where, don’t know when...” (Omnipresent WWII song by Vera Lynn)

Howdy…

A big part of the mojo I bring to the consulting table is simply that I survived a fairly wild-ass lifestyle before and during my career…

… and took notes.

I come from a family of storytellers, and it’s always been second nature for me to concoct the way I’d relate the story of any adventure I was involved in… often while I was experiencing it. More likely, of course, the lasting model of any story came together over a few tellings, as I tossed out the boring bits, highlighted the more exciting or outrageous sections, and found that sweet spot that ended the tale like a punch line.

You don’t get away with aimless, pointless or dull stories in a family like mine. You either grab attention, hold it, and deliver a rollicking good telling… or you get swamped by a better story from a frustrated listener. Best possible training in the universe.

And I can’t think of a better segue into an advertising career. Humans are hard-wired to crave, love and remember well-delivered stories because before the written word, memorized stories were the primary form of sharing information. And persuading folks. And molding the contours of a socially coherent civilization.

Most of us are not great storytellers, however. It’s not a default setting in our brains… and if you don’t hone your chops, you’ll remain a naif at it.

However, if you DO choose to get hip (and I’ve got a ton of posts here in the blog archives on this very subject), then you get past the hulking bouncer at the velvet rope and into the “great storyteller” party.

I actually used to do that, by the way, as a hobby. Talk my way past bouncers. The last time was at a casino, where the Van Morrison concert was sold out. I had a cup of coffee and walked briskly toward the bouncer, saying “I got that coffee for Van” as casually as I could. The guy waved me through. Heck, other folks standing in line stepped back to let me past. I stepped into the venue, and just slumped.

“I can’t do it. Look, man, this coffee isn’t for Van. It’s just a cup of coffee.” The bouncer blinked at me. I wandered off, the fun gone forever in that game. Heck, it just got too easy.

Now, good consulting is also a form of storytelling. Usually, my client comes to me with a mishmash of complaints, problems, nightmares and quandaries… and none of it seems to make sense.

However, I learned long ago that almost everything makes sense when you get the right perspective on it.

But it has to be the right perspective… and you gotta be aware that, most of the time, your shallow brain activity will just accept the first nonsense that comes along to relieve the broad sense of “not knowing what’s going on” (which is causing most of your discomfort).

It’s a good example of how solving the “outer layer” (or symptoms) of a problem doesn’t actually solve the underlying problem… and so, while you may feel better with a weak explanation of something, it won’t help you move forward.

For example: The other folks in line when I swept past them into the concert all were presented with an “unknown variable” to their evening. Who was that guy? What did he say to the bouncer? How come he got in while we languish outside here? And why did he go in, turn around and come right back out?

This is ripe territory for rumors and gossip. In many cases, anything will do.

The tension is in the “not knowing”. It’s a voracious beast in your head, and often any old clump of garbage will satiate it. Was the guy delivering drugs to the band? That was the lighting guy, wasn’t it? Hey, wasn’t that the bass player?

Or even: Did you see that guy just walk in? I’ll bet he bullshitted his way past the bouncer…

True or not, the contours of the story need to be filled… even with temporary landfill (like rumors) that may be replaced later.

In business, this need for resolution often backfires. You may decide your bottom line is tanking because people are broke now, or the competition is doing something evil, or it’s been raining, or whatever.

And your “decision” to believe any of that may be complete nonsense, unrooted in reality. Yet, you buy into it, because it’s convenient…

… and it doesn’t hurt your ego.

Hey, I’ve been there. I’ve sent out ads that bombed, I’ve hosted events that were ill-attended, created products that drew big yawns from the marketplace. It happens in any career that lasts longer than a month.

And I’ve watched myself go into “justification mode”… where all kinds of great excuses become obvious, and I don’t feel so bad. Gary Halbert and I used to do it in tandem, in fact… for about half a day.

Then, we’d realize what we were doing… kick our ego’s out of the room… and give ourselves a big damn reality check.

This is the basis of the old saying that entrepreneurs never “fail”… they just encounter another learning situation, and move to the next step wiser, broker and ready to get rich again.

But you’ve got to FIND the lesson in any failure. Then really learn it. And then APPLY it to your life and biz.

This is why I get paid the Big Bucks as a consultant. I’ll listen to your rationalizations, excuses, and “ego-friendly” justifications for why a project has gone sideways…

… and then I’ll host a quick Reality Check with the client. To find out the REAL REASONS behind the pain.

Your prospect list isn’t broke. It’s just no longer willing to pay your price anymore, cuz the competition is undercutting you… as they should, since you started out with no competitors and priced your stuff high, and now that game is over.

Just for example. (I actually encountered this rationalization in a consultation recently.)

It may hurt to realize that you need to change… cuz our lizard brain just LOATHES change, in any form or for any reason… and you are forgiven for allowing soothing rationalizations to cloud the real issue.

But this is business. It does’t operate on what you want, or what you wish for. It operates in the cold, cruel reality of the way things really work.

And once you get hip to this tactic, you can actually peer into the future…

… and have a decent shot at being right.

Our culture is awash in prognostication — the “art” of predicting what’s gonna happen next. It’s a great gig in politics, cuz no matter how often you’re wrong, you never pay a price. There are zero consequences for being a talking head, or a newspaper columnist, or a Senator and being completely, 100% wrong on a prediction. You just shrug, mutter something about “unforeseen circumstances no one could have known about”, and move along theatrically to the next wildly incorrect prediction.

It’s the same in business, unfortunately. Over the last many decades, there were several biz guru’s who put out special tomes every year on what was gonna happen to the stock market, to biz opportunities, to real estate, to technological breakthroughs, to social behaviors…

… and while these books and reports sold like hotcakes, they were spectacularly wrong on nearly every important guess. (Lookin’ at you, Faith Popcorn.)

In fact, these “guru’s” were actually operating on an age-old con model: You get attention with outrageous predictions that start the rumor mill grinding, collect your fees for the show, and then make yourself scarce when the results come in.

So public predictions of the DOW reaching 36,000 (back when it was hoving around 2,000)… of AIDS cutting the US population in half within the year… of computers imploding at the stroke of midnight on January 1… or of California sliding into the ocean… (all of which were touted as “legitimate, substantiated predictions by an expert” at one time or another)…

… were met with excited chatter by pundits, investors and a public eager for scandal (and for bad things to happen to people they didn’t like). Book royalties zoomed, appearances on talk shows spiked, and anxieties rose.

And when the predictions failed to materialize… well, bummer, dude. Big shrugs, no consequences, and most folks just moved along to the next shiny object.

I’ll even wager this kind of prediction-failure-no-consequences routine has gone on since the caveman days. Every culture has soothsayers, shamans, psychics, witch doctors, mediums, and oracles… all earning their living by predicting shit.

And they only need to be right once in a while. Their astronomer buddy can slip them the date of the next eclipse, or they “cold read” someone’s grief (“You miss someone terribly…”), or they just stumble on a correct prediction despite being wrong a thousand other times. The human mind is so bent on believing the future can be foretold, that folks will ignore obvious silliness and grasp at even dumb predictions like drowning men to a log.

So, the fundamental rule for anyone hoping for a glimpse into the future: Don’t listen to the professional prognosticators.

Instead… just get hip yourself to the basic tactics of legitimate future planning:

Basic Tactic #1: Past results may, indeed, be an indicator of what’s coming.

There’s a great old saying in self-help literature — “If you don’t change your behavior, then the next five years will probably look very much like the past five years.” In other words, if you’ve been broke and fat and lazy for a while, and you don’t get busy with a new plan… well, you’re looking at a future of being broke and fat and lazy.

Not rocket science. But profound in it’s own way.

In business, I often see consulting clients who had hit it big at one time… and are so pissed off that the market has changed, that they waste all their time complaining. And not changing what needs to be changed for the New Reality they’re doing biz in.

You’ve probably heard of “sunk cost theory”. It’s the observation that a biz owner can get frozen over how much money he’s already put into a project… and thus refuses to stop putting money into it. Sort of like how gambling addicts keep pumping coins into a slot machine that ain’t paying off, in the belief that they can’t walk away until they win it all back. (Yeah, that’s a great plan.)

This is why one of my most-used tools in consulting is, unfortunately, to be the guy to tell you that you need to let the project die, and move on to something else. Nobody wants to hear that, but then that’s how I earn the big bucks. By telling the truth.

I can look at cold numbers and results, and see that nothing much is going to change. The campaign worked before, and congratulations. It ain’t working no more, dude. Time to move to the next game.

Interestingly, this basic tactic also works with successful projects. Often, a biz owner becomes bored with his ads… and because he’s seen them so many times, he’s sick of them. And wants to change. Just because.

And I look at the past results, and see that the campaign isn’t anywhere near exhausted. And that this winning ad arrived in his life after a series of doomed ads… so my advice is easy: Stick with the winner. Keep testing against it, and when you find one that BEATS the winning ad, then change to that.

But don’t change just because you’re bored with your ad. Let results be your reality check.

Basic Tactic #2: Fill in the blanks.

There’s a classic South Park episode where gnomes are stealing underwear from Tweek… and when confronted, reveal their plan:

Step 1. Steal underwear.

Step 2. ?.

Step 3. Profit.

The key is that Step Two is obviously a glaring hole in the plan. It’s funny — anyone can see that a plan missing the essential link between doing something and making money is sheer nonsense, right?

Not so much, it turns out.

I often encounter entrepreneurs whose plans are essentially this:

1. Create a product.

2. ?.

3. Profit

Even worse, they’ll hear that they need a website, or need to get on Clickbank, or need a “video sales letter”, or any number of things that are beyond their current know-how. So they throw money at a programmer… or a kid who figures out how to toss something up in Clickbank… or a copywriter who claims to be an expert in VSLs… or, worse, they buy into some scheme that promises magic solutions like SEO, or lead-sharing, or (my favorite) “selling without selling”.

They may have an excellent product or service. Best in the universe. But if they can’t figure out HOW to sell it, then they’re headed for oblivion. The world will NOT beat a path to your door if you invent a better mousetrap. You’ll lose to the guy who learns how to market his own (maybe inferior) version.

So, when peering into your own future, the main question is easy: Where are the blanks?

Where are you weak or completely clueless? Write out every step in your business from waking up tomorrow, through manufacturing/distribution/advertising/lead-generation/etc, through using a merchant account and CSM software, through creating back ends and further relationships with each new customer.

Oh, and also taking care of returns, and dealing with new competition that lowers prices and steals your prospects, and on and on.

Maybe you’re a total rookie, and most of this is just babble to you right now. That’s fine. We all started out clueless and lost and full of ideas that require knowledge or skills beyond our current toolkit to work.

It’s a process.

Your next step is to discover the first thing you’re not thinking about or dealing with yet, that you should be. And get hip to what it entails, and how you’re going to handle it. Research it. Start with a Google search, read up, maybe read a book on the subject, find a forum online dealing with it.

It’s kind of like deciding between an Android phone and an iPhone. An experienced friend may be able to predict that you’ll end up with the Android because of price, for example… way before you have a clue yourself. Because you don’t even know the cost differences yet. So while, at first, that experienced friend of yours may amaze you with a prediction that you’ll end up with the Android (cuz he knows you’re a cheap bastard)…

… with just a smidgen of research, you will arrive at the same conclusion. Without magic.

So, if you’ve never had a website before, it may seem like the most daunting task in the history of mankind. You don’t even know the first step to look for, let alone take. Your ability to “predict” what your online presence will look like is a big blank — you have zero future-peering power.

But after you get your first one up (probably with help), you’ll be light years ahead of your old clueless self… and when you decide to put the NEXT one up, you may be able to “predict” with precise detail exactly how it will look and function.

Again, no magic. No voodoo. Just experience and knowledge lighting the dark ahead of you.

Does this make sense now?

Most people look into the future and immediately see nothing, and give up. It’s a wasteland of possibility, ruled by gnomes and alchemy and rude gods who just like to fuck with humans.

But experienced marketers see clearly much of what’s ahead. The details may rest on things they can’t predict (like an earthquake in their target niche, or UFOs capturing all distribution centers), but they don’t pretend to know those things. No marketer tests prices for the fun of it, for example — we test because we want to know how the market will actually react… and our intuition or guesses or informed predictions don’t count until proven in the real world.

Looking ahead and mapping out what you know, versus what you believe, versus what you don’t know, and versus what you can’t know…

… is a GREAT map to start with. You know where the blanks are. You know when you need to wait for results to make a next move (but you’ve already thought out different moves based on those results)… and you know where your next research project starts.

You know, the great crashes and political disasters and spectacular business failures of recent years were NOT unforeseen by a rather large chunk of the population. It’s just that the folks sensible enough to look ahead and fret don’t make good guests on talk shows, and their books tend to be boring.

There is NO need to make up outrageous stories about your own future. And it’s suicide to just ignore it.

I start out with one assumption: Something is going to happen to me tomorrow.

After that, if I’m so inclined, I can actually construct likely scenarios (with known blanks I need to research or watch for) and map out a plan of action that relies on no magic whatsoever.

And sometimes, I just let the days come, and enjoy the adventure.

But in business, I like to have a clue.

My crystal ball is made with facts, observations, reality checks and known previous results.

What’s yours made of?

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Did you buy my book on Amazon yet? It’s a few measly bucks, and it’s a REAL ebook, too. Over 250 pages packed with advice, tactics, insights and success-secrets.

It’s called “The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Shit Together“, and you can buy a copy here.

Do it. Just stop whining and get your copy now. It’s already essential reading for savvy biz owners, and you better hope your competition hasn’t already got their copy before you get yours…

Thursday, 12:40pm
Reno, NV
“I write because I cannot NOT write.” (Charlotte Bronte)

Howdy…

I want to cover three important things today.

Important Thing #1: Very exciting news this morning: My first Kindle ebook (“The Entrepreneur’s Guide To Getting Your Shit Together”) elbowed its way into best-seller territory on Amazon in less than half a day. It’s #4 on the “entrepreneur” books-for-sale chart, with a bullet, and surging on the “business” charts (in the top 35).

This is like watching your latest album climb the Billboard rankings. I labored over the book (with superb editing help from our pal David “Flashman” Raybould) for many months, whipping it into shape and waiting for the right moment to dive into the wonderful new world of self-publishing that has just hit the Big Turning Point.

Now, it’s up to the reading public to decide if it’s worthwhile or not. A little scary, a little thrilling, a lot of fun for a writer who has craved being in control of publishing my own stuff, in my own damn way, for most of my life.

And, as satisfying as it is to read the great buzz-comments on the Amazon page (and in social media) for this new tome… it’s even more energizing to have finally busted my cherry in digital publishing. This first book took a while to finish and get launched. The next one will follow blazingly quick, and there are even more in the hopper.

If you are so inclined, you can check out a free preview of the book (or even, gasp, buy it) here.

Leave a comment, too. And hit the “share” button on the page. The tome is getting rave reviews, which makes sense since it’s a lovingly-revised compilation of my best Rant newsletters (which I mailed to subscribers for 6 amazing years). This is time-tested stuff, the best “here’s what Carlton’s been teaching all these years” resource possible.

Hope you enjoy it, if you buy it. Hope you stay awake all night thinking about it if you don’t buy it, and feel compelled to buy it first thing in the morning. Cuz it’s damn cheap as a digital book, and you really SHOULD own it. (And yes, we’ll be offering a paperback version down the road, but this digital version is what you need right now.)

Important Thing #2: I now know much about self-publishing ebooks that was a mystery to me before.

For example… the publishing industry is in complete upheaval now. The tipping point was last summer, when Amazon introduced it’s “so easy an idiot can do it” self-publishing model for Kindle (and other e-reading devices)… and it turned out to actually BE just that easy to do.

This was a huge blow to the traditional publishers. Much like the revolution in digital music-sharing spelled big-time trouble to the entrenched old-school music industry. At first there was denial, then disbelief, and finally much gnashing of teeth and rending of clothes as it became crystal clear that the Publishing Game had changed permanently and dramatically.

Now, I’ve dealt a bit with traditional publishers. The old model sucked for writers like me, because there were huge roadblocks on the way to getting a book produced and put on shelves in bookstores… including agents who were assholes, publishers who hated anything outside of their comfort zone, and a sales process rigged like a back-alley craps game. (My favorite line about gambling: “If you look around the table and you don’t know who the sucker is… then you’re the sucker.”)

I was given the fisheye by so-called “publishing professionals” who assured me a deal was in the works, if only I changed everything funny and outrageous and important in my writing. Oh, and they’d charge $20 for my book, and give me (maybe) 90 cents of that, down the road after the accountants had cooked the books.

Traditional publishers mocked ebooks, smug in their surety of how things would never change. They were slow to accept even Kindle’s open-armed invitation to make digital books more inviting.

I have zero sympathy for them now that ebooks are outselling “real” books (where trees must die so they can be printed)… and especially now that those agents are increasingly out of a job, and the publisher mucky-mucks are looking at early retirement now that ANYBODY can self-publish on Amazon… and enjoy a level playing field amongst other authors. Which is something the trad pub folks just hate.

And they can’t even mock self-publishers anymore, after Amazon bought Create Space, which prints your book, on demand, for a couple of bucks, and ships it for you. No need to pre-order a print run (or store boxes of your damn book in the garage). You just do the writing, and they take care of everything else. You make a sale, they print ‘er up and ship. And you collect your moolah.

Plus, if you really have your little heart set on seeing your tome on a shelf at Barnes & Noble, they can help you get that done, too.

All this revolution has all taken place just in the past year or so. Ebooks have been doing well for a while, but with the recent smoothing-out of the process (making it truly brain-dead simple to plunder the vast market share that Amazon provides) and the sheer volume of ebook reading devices (including your mobile arsenal) now out there… it’s officially a brand-new world of sizzling opportunity for writers.

Now, there are numerous entrepreneurs offering you advice and insight on using these new powers of self-publishing, and you can hook up with them if you like.

However, this ain’t brain surgery. You really can figure out almost everything on your own. I opted to have a colleague (the very tech-savvy Lawton Chiles) help me finish the formatting, and get this first book actually up on Amazon… and it was an excellent small investment that sped up the process hugely. I also paid my primo designer pal Rick Allen to do the cover. All optional, all at extra  (but very reasonable) cost… and all worth it, because it shortcut the process and assured the best possible finished book.

So I’m happy.

And you should be happy, too. If you have a book cooking inside you, or even if you just have an idea for a book… there is now a functional, efficient and profit friendly vehicle for you to quickly create a digital book that can literally be ready for purchase overnight. (And you get to KEEP most of the sale, instead of getting crumbs from a trad publisher.)

Entrepreneurs are especially getting hip to the wild opportunities this revolution has created. Short books that introduce you to the market can be offered for free or a couple of bucks. You can release material in serial form, so a new chapter appears once a week (just like magazines used to offer novels chapter by chapter in subsequent issues). You can choose to release an audio book, or a series of podcasts, or — hell — you can re-invent the entire CONCEPT of what a “book” is, and see if the world likes it.

We are in the early days of a self-publishing Brave New World that is so exciting for authors and wannabe-authors I get teary just considering where it might go.

Which leads us to the last point…

Important Thing #3: When I was a kid, I enjoyed both writing short science fiction stories and graphic novels of cartoons in a long-story format. It was immature stuff, but it was edgy and entertaining.

My audience consisted solely of my pals, a few teachers who caught me drawing during class, and occasionally a stranger who’d borrowed a mimeographed copy somewhere. I didn’t really care — I wasn’t writing for an audience, I was writing for the pure joy of creating something from nothing. I’ve always been a storyteller, and writing them out (sometimes with accompanying illustrations) was a thrill in and of itself.

I was almost embarrassed to have anyone else see these efforts. Their praise made me wince (I’ve been a shy dude forever), and their criticism broke my heart (usually because it was so far off-base and irrelevant).

I don’t believe I would have pursued getting any of that early stuff published, even if it was possible. It was my training period, in a way. I was self-aware enough to know it was early-stage stuff, not a final product.

However… just knowing that I COULD publish it would have re-focused my energies ten-fold. What a trip, to decide on my own when I was ready to release my stuff into the world. Not when some publisher decided. When I decided.

I got a taste of wider readership in high school, when I took journalism (wanting to earn a spot writing for the Teepee Times sports page)… and the teacher caught me doodling and ordered me to do a weekly cartoon on the editorial page instead. I was terrified, especially to be working in ink for the first time (pencils have erasers), and to have my drawings and humor laid out bare and vulnerable in front of God and everybody like that. Every week.

I survived for two seasons. There was no credible celebrity involved, either — I had to play it safe in the newspaper, and the other kids just took it for granted that another dumb Carlton ‘toon would be in the weekly issue. No biggie. One transfer junior from La Habra (tough school) offered me $5 to draw a grinning demon on his notebook, but otherwise my high school “career” as a cartoonist was uneventful.

Then, the same thing happened in college. I happened to meet the editor of the university daily, who demanded that I do a weekly cartoon… and he didn’t care what I did with it. That got me reinvested, and I drew edgy, weird stuff that did get me a little notice. Decades later, I occasionally still get a nod from someone who remembers my strip fondly.

This was the same period of time when Doonesbury was just making waves, and other “underground” comix were getting noticed. But I had no idea how to go further with the career, so I just stopped.

The “bug” for being published, however, had been planted.

When I first met Gary Halbert, one big thing we had in common was a reverence for the “classic” age of self-publishing back in the 1950s. A nobody like Hugh Hefner could scrape together $500 and enter a crowded magazine market doing most of the writing (he was also a cartoonist, remember)… and, if his stuff stood out from the pack, he might create a little empire. The field was wide open. (Underground comix — which are now mainstream — went the same route.)

But traditional publishing remained a closed game, dominated by big-name authors and taste-making mavens who decided what America could and couldn’t read en mass. Gary’s way around that was to publish his own newsletter (which you can peruse at www. thegaryhalbertletter.com), mailed monthly to subscribers. I took the same route with my direct-to-consumer Marketing Rebel Rant newsletters.

It was freaking exhilarating to write, design, print and mail my own publication. The audience was still small (it cost a cool grand back then to be a subscriber to the Rant for a year), but large enough to support my speaking career by ensuring most events would have at least a handful of supporters egging on the crowds.

We still self-publish my first course/book, “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel”, and the Simple Writing System. We have a printer back east who binds and ships the packages (along with whatever CDs or DVDs are included).

But, again, the audience for these are whoever I can entice into my world through my blog, or via a speaking engagement. That ensures a healthy, but relatively segmented base.

So, when I caught wind of what Amazon was doing with the Kindle store, I perked up fast. This is a global market we’re talking about here, and Amazon is the 600-pound gorilla dominating the process.

Yes, allowing “just any bozo with a manuscript” to self-publish and be available on their world-wide virtual bookshelves may lead to a certain amount of chaos. Some prospects will be overwhelmed with the choices. Some undeserving books will catch fire, while better ones sink into obscurity.

The bits of marketing you are allowed on your sales page are critical to your self-published dreams of grandeur. Just like every other marketplace in the universe.

However, with the interactive opportunities also available… comments, testimonials, “buyers also bought” lists of robot-guessed stuff you might also want to buy, sharing in social media, etc… I see excellent chances for quality stuff to stay high on the charts for very long periods.

You aren’t dependent on a trad publisher dripping your book out to a few big-city bookstores… or on your ability to generate PR by going on endless author tours (and maybe snagging a desultory 2-minute slot on some foul-mouthed radio or cable chat show)… or on the sodden criticism of some unqualified reviewer in the New York Times (or Beaverton Gazette).

All the obstacles to producing and getting your book in front of a wide audience have now been obliterated.

O. Blit. Erated.

I was excited when the Web marketplace really got going a decade ago, and I’m a Net Junkie for sure. Modern tech changed my world view and my lifestyle habits. I’m fully wired, dude.

However… this publishing revolution rivals all the recent tech innovations put together.

This ain’t your father’s blog. This ain’t your grandfather’s hard-cover trilogy.

Nope.

What we got here is a stunning opportunity for the Little Author to beat up the Big Authors, in heroic fashion.

Self-publishing will change your life in ways none of us can yet imagine. (The TED talks on this subject are expanding exponentially.)

For those of us who’ve been hoping for fresh audiences, it’s paradise. Yet another thrill ride aimed right at entrepreneurs.

Now, go buy my book already. 

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. If you want to contact Rick, my designer… or Lawton, who helped get the book formatted and looking good on all devices… or Flashman, who is a primo copywriter and brilliant editor… just email my long-suffering assistant Diane at consult@john-carlton.com and ask for their contact info.

I only work with the best, and this team is spectacular at what they do. And, they’re open to working with you…

Tuesday, 2:47pm
Reno, NV
“Don’t let me be misunderstood.” (The Animals, #15 on Billboard, 1965)

Howdy…

I’ve resurrected another gem from the archives… just because it’s so freakin’ good. Many of the lessons I try to deliver in this blog need to be delivered over and over (the only guaranteed way to finally learn anything in life), and once I nail it, there’s no sense rewriting it.

The clarity I try to achieve below is a solid step toward leading a more examined life… which all great marketers strive to do. There are stages to this if you’ve hit adulthood and continue to labor under false assumptions and bad belief systems. The worst is thinking that what you believe must be true, because you’ve believed it for so long.

This kind of circular cognitive dissonance can hold you up for decades (or even forever)… because our very human minds are hard-wired to listen to our intuition, no matter how often it’s proven wrong or screws up our lives.

We’re stubborn beasts. As a civilian, you just go enjoy your bad self with your silly notions and absurd assumptions. I’d prefer that you not vote, but it’s a free country.

However, as a marketer who desires wealth and recognition and lasting success… you cannot rely on the flawed default settings in your brain. If you haven’t been constantly giving yourself vicious Reality Checks over your career, you’re risking being stuck in a non-productive zone where competitors will fly past you, and customers flee.

I, personally, am very hard on myself. Very, very hard.

My transformation into a real professional meant climbing out of a slacker lifestyle where I got away with laziness, unreliability, and a self-destructive refusal to change… into a new person who cleaned up the messes I made, took proactive steps to fix what was broken in my skill set and personality (so I never “vowed” to do better next time, but actually changed so I DID better), took responsibility and put my ass on the line to get things done, and force-fed discipline into my lazy habits.

It was tough, but required if I was gonna move up a few stages in my quality of life and self-respect and success.

And here’s a veteran’s tip on how to accomplish this yourself: You take it all one step at a time.

The problem with most self-help crap out there is that folks honestly believe that voicing a philosophy will trigger real change. So they visualize their new selves, and chant magic resolutions, and try to hook into some imaginary lifeline dangling from the universe that will do the transformation FOR them.

Not gonna happen. In my career, I witnessed amazing coincidences and lucky twists of fate that — in my lazier days — I would have assigned to mysterious forces. Things DO start happening, once you get moving.

But it’s not magic — it’s the natural result of taking action, goosing your network for opportunities, and being hyper-aware of what you bring to the table and how you might use that to break down doors.

Anyway, this post is just a small part of the larger battle to become more conscious, and more precise in the way you look at the world. Nevertheless, it’s a huge step forward, and many later stages require this fundamental stuff.

So, enjoy:

As a lifelong wordsmith (that’s “writer” to you), I long ago learned to respect language. It seemed a no-brainer to me. Language is our primary communication tool… and English just happens to be the most flexible and use-able one ever created. Unlike every other language out there, it inhales foreign worlds without problem, gives group-hugs to slang, and offers an amazing cornucopia of choices when you want to get your point across…

… just right. Blunt, nuanced or sneaky… English has produced the best patoi since our ancestors started grunting at each other. (French peoples, send me your hate.)

Sacre bleu.

Unfortunately, most of my fellow citizens have vocabularies that ceased growing when they were around 12.  (Newspapers write to a mostly-mythical 8th grade level… and prime time TV shows try to dumb it down even further.)

This can be fine… as long as communication still occurs.  (And I’m a fan of using fancy words only among folks who appreciate them.  Most of my writing, and especially all of my teaching materials, are carefully scrubbed of fifty-cent words… because I want to be understood.  Never use a ball-buster from the Thesaurus when a nice piece of street slang will do the same job, is my motto.)

The trouble is…

… the culture is still pretty much stuck on the 9th floor of the Tower of Babble…

… when it comes to being precise about important words.

I could write for days on this subject.

But I think these few examples, below, will do the job.

These are the words that I see causing the most trouble when I do private consultations.

I used to literally drop my jaw, stunned, when I realized that a client was merrily bustling down a dangerous path… believing he was on the road to happiness…

… when he was actually about to plunge head-first into a pit of misery.

All because he misunderstood a couple of important ideas, as expressed in words.

I see this a LOT.  So listen up:

1. Do not confuse ignorance… with naivete.

Rookie entrepreneurs… and veteran business owners who’ve strayed into mysterious new marketing territory… would do themselves a huge favor by realizing there are vast gaps in their knowledge base.

Just own up to being ignorant of how things get done…

… for now.

Ignorance is the absence of knowledge.  And it’s totally okay to admit to yourself that you’re a babe in the woods at this current stage you’re in.

Your first job is to get a handle on what you don’t yet know… that you need to know.

Then… go get it.  Fill your brain with the data, ideas, secrets, skills and direction necessary for you to succeed.

You’re going to kiss some frogs along the way, so you need to dive in and start sorting it out.

Ignorance can be cured with info.  Just as fast as you can light up your brain nodules with data.

Naivete, though…

… is often a condition that needs bitter medicine to fix.

When I encounter a client who is naive… it means the right thing to do is not pile on more info…

… but rather to perform the most brutal Reality Check they can handle.

The ignoramus just lacks data.  Many will fight having that data absorbed into their system… cuz most folks are terrified of change (especially when it means altering your worldview).

But it can be done.  I was ignorant of pretty much everything about being a freelancer when I began my career.

But I knew I was ignorant… and I gobbled up knowledge like PacMan in an ongoing process of de-ignorizing my bad self (which is still going on today).

Naive people don’t yet realize they are under-prepared and under-equipped to move forward in life.

And — worse part — they tend to aggressively resist being de-naived.  They blunder on, oblivious of their vulnerability to things like experience, savvy and skill in their competition.

So know where you’re at on the scale.

If you don’t know something, fine.  No shame in that.  Get hip, get educated, get mentored, master the needed skill-sets.

And if you’ve been sitting on what you hope is secret self-knowledge that you really don’t understand squat about what you’re doing…

… just get out of your own way.

Stop pretending.  Stop faking it.  Stop believing that good excuses can cover your act for an entire career.

The business world is like the jungle.  The predator doesn’t give a rat’s ass if you’ve got the vapors, or had a bad day, or just aren’t good at some things (because you refuse to get better).

The excuse-model that maybe worked to get you through the miserable school system without consequence… doesn’t do so well in the real world.

And it sucks to get eaten.

2. Don’t confuse experience… with wisdom.

Took me a while to nail this concept.

Back when I was always the young punk at the table (yeah, that was me for most of my career), I knew I couldn’t match clients for sheer years on the job.

And often, I just plain didn’t know as much as they did.

So I sat on my ego… and went to school with every new consultation and meeting with a client.

Didn’t take long before I’d had enough gigs under my belt to qualify for “mucho experience”…

… but more important, I kept focused on what I learned from each experience.

And that’s when the big “a-Ha!” buzzer went off.

Experience does NOT automatically translate to wisdom.

You nearly always need experience before you attain wisdom, yes.  But it’s not a guarantee.

In fact, over my career, I’ve always spent the first minutes of any consultation diving into the experience-wisdom correlation with new clients.

Their ego screams “wisdom”.  But their actual savvy whispers “hasn’t learned shit in all those years”.

The smart ones remember why they went looking for a consultation in the first place, and we can get moving on solutions and fixes.

The dumb ones fight it.

3. Do not confuse ego… with self-awareness.

Ego is bullshit.  At most, it’s a sense of being in the game, and keeping score (often in ways that no one else cares about).

Self-awareness must be earned.

And while most modern people can’t entirely murder their ego… they can at least overwhelm it with self-awareness.  So when it flares up, or gets bruised, or starts interfering…

… you can just say “oh, hell, my ego’s involved in this” and get over it.

Do you set goals?  If you set goals to satisfy your ego, your life will be miserly and grim.

The really good goals in life are always larger than “you”.

Don’t get confused about who’s running the show.

4. Don’t confuse expertise… with fast-talking charm.

I recently met a business owner who was extremely bright…

… when it came to delivering in his biz.

The marketing side?  Not so much.

In fact, as we chatted, he was almost giddy when he revealed he was about to solve all the horrific problems he was having making his online efforts work…

… because he had just paid a small fortune to hire a genius ad guy.

Who was this genius?

Why, the guy behind some of the most recognizable jingles in the history of television prime-time ads.

On Madison Avenue, this genius never has to buy a drink, cuz he’s famous.

For jingles.

I almost choked when I found out the price tag of this jingler’s services (which, I guessed correctly, were centered on bullshit “branding” nonsense that had zero chance of even causing a ripple online).

This problem — confusing charm with real expertise in what you need — is like a weed or rat problem in the entrepreneurial world.

People who can talk the talk… but can’t walk the walk… are causing some serious financial damage out there.

It has ever been thus… until you get hip to how things really get done.

When money is on the line… especially your money (connected to the success or failure of your biz)…

… screw charm.

Some (actually, maybe most) of the best marketing and business minds I’ve ever met…

… are charm-challenged, grizzled, anti-social quasi-nut jobs.

You don’t have to like the dude who rescues your ass.

You just gotta learn to tell the difference between him (the real expert), and the dazzling sociopath pretending to be an expert so he can gut your wallet.

Let your trust be earned, not charmed into submission.

Finally…

5. Don’t confuse asshole customers… with righteously angry folks who have a legitimate complaint.

You blackball the first.

But you embrace the second.  As tough as it can be to hear someone point out the flaws, foibles and blunders in your biz…

… you cannot grow without that kind of reality check.

Getting good advice, insight and direction is almost never pretty.

This is business, folks.  Not junior high.

6. And… don’t confuse real humor… with puns.

That’s just my own personal crusade.

Man, I hate puns.

Brrr.  Horrible little things…

Okay, that’s it for this post.

As a funny side note… I took a break to go watch Conan… and there was PeeWee Herman, doing a hilariously creepy bit on…

… language.

The entire line-up for the show was dripping with pathos.  PeeWee’s career blew up after a peep show bust in the 90s.  Robin Williams has been vilified, gone through public addiction purging, and worse through his equally long career.  Barry Manilow… well, he had to be Barry Manilow all these years.

Butt of jokes and derision.  You don’t really laugh all the way to the bank in those situations, you know.  It hurts to stick your head above the fray and dare to stand out… and get kicked.

Don’t get me started on critics.  Miserable little twerps…

Anyway, have a good weekend.

And if you’re feeling lucky…

… and ESPECIALLY if you love this kind of veteran, hyper-experiential action-oriented knowledge, advice and tactics…

… see if there’s a seat left at the Action Seminar next week down in San Diego (March 22-24):

Grab One Of The Last Seats

Unbelievable line-up of Marketing Royalty will be there.  Spectacular networking, and a chance to see history made… as we renovate the tattered state of the Live Marketing Seminar with real audience interaction (and zero hard sell pitching).

Make 2013 your best year ever… by getting some direct, specific and spot-on advice and ideas from the best in the biz. You may even score a live Hot Seat consultation, on stage, from me and the other experts and Big Dog marketers in attendance.

And… BIG POINT: This may be the last Action Seminar ever. Certainly one of the last opportunities to see me in person at this kind of unique “get things done” event, and get the full impact of what my network of pals and nutcase colleagues can do for your biz and life. I’m semi-retired these days, which of course means that full-on retirement can’t be far behind.

So, if you crave the kind of no-bullshit, old-school, reality-based advice I shovel out, and you want to see what it’s like to hang out with other old-school veterans like me… you HAVE to make the effort to check out the Action Seminar. And get over your bad self and your oh-so-crowded schedule and every other lame-ass excuse you can come up with for not coming.

If you’re serious about your future, you suck it up and do what needs to be done so you CAN come. And then you get on a plane and you arrive, and you absorb the whole thrilling spectacle that is a no-pitching Action Seminar.

Just check it out, first. See what’s up, see why it’s getting so much buzz, see why others will tell you it changed their lives:

See what’s up with the Action Seminar.

There’s a lot of valuable free info on that site, too.

Okay, I’m done.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Do not… I repeat… do NOT leave any puns in the comments section here.

I’m serious.

No puns.

Unless they’re really good…

Saturday, 3:44pm
Reno, NV
“I’ll have what she’s having…” (When Harry Met Sally)

Howdy…

I figured I’d kick off the new marketing season here in a ball of fire, and just lay some Reality Checks out for you. Here goes:

Your First Big Reality Check: If you tried, really really hard, and weren’t successful last year…

… it was probably mostly your own damn fault.

Yeah, sure, the economy sucked, politicians were mean, your prospects are all screamin’ idiots, and God had it out for you. All totally excellent excuses for having a crummy bottom line again.

It’s not your fault. It can’t be your fault.  That’s… that’s just…

… that’s just completely unacceptable that it even might be your fault.

And, hey, maybe you did piss off the universe, and spooky forces beyond your control mucked things up so you had a bad year.

I believe you. I really do.

However…

After you’ve been around the block a few times in life, you start to notice some very interesting things about success.

And the big realization, I’d have to say, is that the idea that success is somehow magically bestowed on people in a spontaneous burst of luck and being in the right place/right time…

… is just bullshit.

It is. It’s total bullshit. Hollywood likes to pretend it’s a real plot point. And folks clueless about how the world works — who spend their lives outside looking in — use this myth as a comforting excuse for their own lack of goal attainment.

Once you’ve spent even a little time with successful dudes and dudettes, you notice something startling: They all have well-defined goals, and they focus on nailing them like terriers going after a squirrel.

They are not stopped by lack of skill, or lack of time, or lack of connections in the right places.

They are not stopped by ADHD (which a LOT of the entrepreneurs I know are saddled with, btw)… or feelings of inferiority (many of the best are entirely motivated by “I’ll show you” revenge fuel)… or lack of education (drop-outs galore).

And they are not stopped by the main reason most wannabe entrepreneurs never get past that “deer in the headlights” pose: Not knowing what to do next.

Every single excuse ever floated by anyone in the history of mankind…

… has been met and conquered by people with less brainpower, less money, less skill and less luck than you.

This can really piss a guy off. Especially if you’re deeply invested in believing that anything other than growing the fuck up and getting serious about attaining your dreams is what creates success in this world.

Let me remind you:  You have one ticket in this life. And you’re already on the ride — it doesn’t “start” at some future point, when you’re finally ready or finally have your shit together.

The game is on NOW. Nobody knows how long your ride will last. There might be a little meteor headed for your ass this very second, BANG, ticket cancelled.

More likely, you’re going to continue (for a while) living in the rarest of times, considering our history. Unlike nearly ALL of your ancestors — who ground out a living with back-breaking work, under the yoke of oppressive authority, without even a vague sliver of a dream that things could be better.

You OWE it your under-nourished, vulnerable-to-germs, knowledge-hobbled, bug-infested ancestors to take FULL ADVANTAGE of the mind-bending opportunities swirling around you every second.

I mean, really.

How dare you whine about how tough it is to succeed.

Those poor schlubs in your past fought, slaved and died for centuries inching toward a reality where a person might have a little freedom to choose how they lived their life.

And yet…

… we DO complain, don’t we.

Everyone loses perspective over the course of a lifetime. It’s not like the culture helps us out. The distractions built into modern life read like a solid science fiction story. George Orwell is rolling over in his grave.

Nevertheless, just because there ARE distractions and obstacles that trip up nearly everyone trying to get something going…

… doesn’t mean that YOU have to succumb to them.

The biographies of the most successful people you know about ALL have chapters — sometimes multiple chapters — where things looked bleak, and the story could easily have played out as one of a total loser.

At some point, a switch just clicks on for most of them. One second, life seems dull and you feel trapped.

The next second… BANG, the most critical decision of a lifetime is made. And the adventure begins in earnest.

You know what that decision is?

It can be as simple as deciding to get started. To take the first step.

Success junkies talk about passion a lot. But most people confuse passion with “desire”, which ain’t the same thing at all.

Desire is helpless. A long sigh, a breathless wish.

Passion is all about movement. You’re breathless only because you’re engaged in hot and heavy action.

So, okay… you wanna hear my Top Ten list for turning your life around, starting right now?

You may not like this. I’m warning you.

Here we go…

Step 1: Stop wasting time.

You don’t “need” multiple hours every night to relax… and racking up time staring at the Boob Tube isn’t helping your brain, your digestion, your nerves or your future.

Knock off just ONE TV show you’re currently watching every week… and you’ve just found a hot little hour to devote to your new life.

Tear the plasma monster off the wall and donate it to charity, and you’ve recovered a second lifetime of hours.

Look, don’t go cold turkey if you can’t handle it. But stop pretending you aren’t wasting massive piles of time doing things that… if you were to suddenly come face-to-face with one of your exhausted, oppressed ancestors…

… he wouldn’t haul off and slug you as hard as he could, for squandering a life crammed with possibilities that he never dreamed of.

Seriously… “Dancing With The Stars?” Are you fucking kidding me?

Step 2:  Take a deep breath, and allow the dreaded “D” word to enter your world.

That stands for “discipline”… something few Westerners have even a nodding acquaintance with.

It’s simple to put to work, too. Every day, do something you really, really, really don’t want to do (that needs to be done eventually). It can be doing the dishes, or exercising, or getting up early (by going to bed at a decent hour)…

… or it can be diving into that biz book on your shelf, or that DVD course you bought last year that you never tore the shrink-wrap off.

Living even a mildly disciplined life will change your future immediately. You often know what needs to be done… but you use all that potent gray matter in your skull to find ways to AVOID those things.

Just stop it. Become an effective person. Start DOING shit that needs doing. Right now, you have a backlog of chores and items on your “to do list”. It’s a happy day when your new chore is to find a new project to dive into, because you’ve mopped up everything else.

Step 3:  Be a good animal.

Eat better (and less often), treat sleep as a sacred necessity for advanced living, get your butt into the gym or onto the tennis court (or just on a trail), allow for quality “ponder” time (or uninterrupted meditation), and plan (and enjoy) life with gusto.

My motto has always been “moderation in all vices”. Steady as she goes, but let’s kick it up a notch every now and then, test the adrenaline pump.

But the Prime Directive remains: Never pretend you’re something other than a complex biological machine, requiring good fuel, attention to wear-and-tear, constant routine maintenance, and ample opportunity for gleefully maxing out the emotional, spiritual, intellectual and kinesthetic possibilities.

You could do worse than follow your dog’s lead in most of this. (Except for eating garbage, of course.)

Step 4: Face your fears.

If you’re not keeping a private journal where you can air out everything on your mind without reservation (even if you have to write in code a lot), then start one now.

The first pages can be a list of what you’re afraid of. Just get it out of your head and onto a page… so you can stop obsessing for a while. (Obsessive thinking often comes from your brain’s whack notion that if you don’t obsess, you’ll forget. I’ve found that your brain actually knows that writing it all down means it can relax with the memorization nonsense. It’s like burying your bone in a familiar place — you can stop carrying it around for a while, and concentrate on something else.)

The biggie: If you’ve got something bugging you that ain’t going away with simple pop psychology tricks (like journals), then get some pro help.  Psychology is a field that has never lost its inferiority complex among other sciences, and so it keeps dabbling in pharmaceutical bullshit and elaborate protocols for treatment.

Now, you may need high-end treatment. There’s zero shame in that — sometimes, our wiring just goes berzerk, and modern chemistry may help. I’m not a doctor. If you have serious problems, get serious help.

However, if what’s troubling you is more along the line of emotionally-hobbling guilt, or feelings of inferiority or inadequacy, or the all-too-common problem of feeling like you’re a freak trying to hide your freaky nature among the throngs of “normal” people out there…

… you’re ripe for something as simple as “talk therapy”. I’ve slugged my way through every dark alley of pop psychology there is, from Gestalt encounter groups to dream analysis to primal screaming and other stuff you don’t need to know about. (I have a mostly-worthless degree in psych, you should know, from a California university. A California university, mind you. Every shocking notion you have of what that might mean is true, I’m proud to say.)

And often, what ails us is primarily the incorrect notion that we’re “naughty” and abnormal… when the truth is that everyone out there harbors a squirming nest of personal demons and private failures.

Life isn’t something you “figure out” and then coast through. The lessons and challenges come fast and furious, and never let up. It’s sensible to be wary of danger. It’s crippling, though, to be afraid of your own shadow.

If you need help, get it.

The people having the most fun (and scoring the big results) in life aren’t normal. They’ve just come to terms with their individuality, and figured out how to rock on with the hand they’ve been dealt.

You can do it, too.

Step 5: Stop lying.

To others. And to yourself.

This doesn’t mean you suddenly become that azzhole who constantly delivers “the truth” to everyone around them. The “truth” is hard to ascertain in many situations, and living well includes being diplomatic and sensitive to other people’s feelings.

Lying often has nothing to do with the truth. It’s just a weak but persistent form of protection for your ego.

The key to being honest to yourself and others is to realize that you aren’t required to respond to every question put to you. It’s perfectly all right to say “no comment”, or “um, yeah, I’m not gonna share that”. (The “Magic Word” that all professionals and successful business owners need to have in their arsenal is “No”.  Said politely, with a smile, but firmly and without explanation. “I understand that you want me to answer that question. No. What’s the next topic…”, repeated as often as necessary, is NOT being rude. People learn, growing up, that persistence will wear others down and get them to do what you want. Which is fine, for the rest of the world. As a pro, however, you have the right to opt out of that game. Without explanation.)

Lying is a hard damn job. You have to remember all kinds of stuff that isn’t true, so you don’t cross up your stories.

Being honest means you are freed from the restraints of a complex relationship to what’s going on. To others, you may stop blabbering so much, and instead be a little circumspect with your answers (which is always a good thing).

You may even start listening more, which can also change your life.

Being honest with yourself is the big payoff, though. Our default position is to spin things so our little ego isn’t damaged. But you can “spin” honestly, too — there are always multiple realities to any situation, and you can look at shocks like failure in ways that put it in perspective, while being honest. (Most successful people have failed a LOT in their career.  They just didn’t take failure as the last word on the subject… but rather looked at it honestly, to learn the lessons and come back with better chops for the second round.  THAT’S how you win.)

Step 6: Do constant reality checks.

I often say that good salesmen lead better lives… because to make sales, you must see the world and everyone in it as it IS…

… not as you wish it was, or believe it should be.

People will tell you they’ll act in a certain way in a certain situation, and then do the exact opposite. They’re not “bad”, they’re just doing what people always do — ignore reality.

Top marketers constantly observe people’s actions (not their words). Gary Halbert, when he wanted to get a reaction on a new ad he’d just written, had a favorite bar he would go into and read the ad aloud. If everyone said “that’s a great ad, that should be a winner” then he knew he had written a bomb that would fail.

The ONLY reaction he wanted to hear was “Holy crap!  How can I get one of those for myself?”

This same kind of reality check needs to happen inside your head and heart, constantly. What’s really going on with you, right now? What do you want, what do you NOT want, what are you willing or not willing to do to make the good stuff happen?

Step 7: Reach out to loved ones.

People miss you. You’re horrible at staying in touch, and old timers will vouch for the fact that years can zoom by and destroy even strong relationships if you ignore the maintenance they deserve.

You don’t have to stay in touch with anyone, of course. Relationships that are burdensome can sap energy from you, and they need to be shelved if you’re gonna move forward in life.

Still… somebody’s waiting for a call from you, right now.

Make it.

Step 8: Reach out to colleagues.

People love to talk about what they love doing…

… and entrepreneurs are starved for networking with other entrepreneurs. Both to find out what’s working or not working out there for others, and to share what they’ve learned.

It can be shocking, at first, to realize just how much support you can get even from competitors sometimes. Business can be like a hockey game — brutal, but with total respect for the other team.

Every single successful marketer I know has a deep network of buddies and colleagues they call frequently, and share information that outsiders would pay a fortune for (like testing results, and experienced advice).

This is why most of the success junkies hit up events and seminars. You can’t really get to know someone from phone chats, or reading their blogs.

The real connection comes from face-to-face meetings, hanging out and breaking bread (while sharing gossip).

Step 9: Reach out to experts.

Mentoring changed my life. I’ve had multiple mentors along the way, and some didn’t even realize they WERE mentors. (I just observed them very carefully, and deconstructed what they did and how they did it. Some of the writers I learned the most from were dead when I came along, so I had to use critical thinking instead of actually working with them.)

But I also learned to quickly recognize others who had lessons for me (again, whether they realized it or not). Some thought of themselves as experts, others were just damn good at their job.

All had fountains of knowledge and skills worth exploring and figuring out.

Side note: It’s not a coincidence that many of the best marketers alive are also quite good at a musical instrument.

You know why? It’s the PROCESS of learning. It’s hard to get even the basics down for an instrument… and you must dedicate yourself (and use the “D” word) to get to a point of competence.

Most people, given the choice, will not go through the physical pain (your fingers will bleed when learning guitar) and mental anguish (because you will fail over and over again on each step — no one gets it right the first hundred times) of learning something as sophisticated as a musical instrument.

Most guitarists I know didn’t really have a choice. The desire to master the beast came from within, and we were driven to do it.

Still, I’ve met others who did it to please parents, or just because their reference group of friends all did it. And they got the same benefit as the driven ones: The realization of what it takes to learn something new.

It’s a process. And you CAN learn it, and you CAN do it. It just takes a little guidance.

There are a lot of great experts out there who teach.

There are also a lot of bogus assholes who fake it, and if they teach you anything at all, it will be to never trust someone without vetting them first ever again.

The key is to first find ONE expert you feel you can trust. Make them earn your trust. Triple-check their credibility and credentials.

Through this first relationship, you will be introduced to other teachers and guru’s they recommend. It’s still up to you to be an adult, and be critical of anyone you get advice from until they’ve also earned your trust.

But the first move is always yours.

When you’re ready, reach out. Get involved, take advantage of all interactive opportunities, and don’t be shy about sucking up all the free stuff that experts willingly ladle out.

Much of the rookie entrepreneurial world is populated with cynical fuck-ups who would rather tear an expert down, than learn anything. It’s like TMZ for business — there will never a lack of rubber-necking, sneering wannabe’s trashing everyone who has dared to be successful.

You can hang with these types, if you like. You’ll be entertained.

But you won’t get anywhere in life.

Cynicism is for bench warmers.

You wanna play, put your ego and your sneer away. Find the experts with the experience and the willingness to teach that fits what you need…

… and get involved.

Step 10: Master the art of setting good goals…

… and putting together a doable plan to achieving them.

This is not something you can do intuitively. Nearly everyone thinks they understand what a real goal is. And they also feel they should be able to achieve a goal just with positive thinking (and maybe a few inspirational catch phrases).

And they are wrong.

Goal setting isn’t rocket science… but it is more like learning a new instrument than it is like buying a new car. Change doesn’t come easy — there are all kinds of obstacles in your head, your heart, in the universe and in the cards that need to be met and conquered along the way.

There is a process.

Most people don’t even know what they really want. They just know they lack happiness or fulfillment or something…

… and early goal setting under these conditions will be wildly ineffective.

Fortunately, with just a little bit of coaching, you can become a goal-achieving monster.

And that is the key to moving from where you are in life, to where you want to be.

Now, it’s late, and I’ve given you too much good stuff already in this post.

If you’re ready for more of the real shortcuts and inside advice to making this coming year your best ever…

… whether you measure “best ever” in terms of cash, or happiness, or achievements, or all of it put together…

… then I recommend you at least check out the Action Seminar we’re hosting in March. Yes, next month.

Get the details on the Action Seminar by clicking here.

And yes, it’s a live event, so you’ll need to travel and get your act together enough to attend. We’ve made that part as easy as possible, by having the seminar in San Diego (with one of the easiest airports in the country to get in and out of)… where it’s also going to be nice, with ocean breezes and suntanned happy folks everywhere (even while your home town gets slammed with another blizzard or locust invasion or whatever other horrors winter usually brings).

Plus, we’ve arranged for discounts at the hotel. Good times.

And get this: There is NO PITCHING at the event. It’s all workshop and interaction and information-sharing. That makes it totally freaking UNIQUE in the entrepreneurial world (which is why the only two other times this event has been held are now legendary).

But best of all, you’ll get to hang out with a small army of experts we’ve hand-picked… along with a roomful of other entrepreneurs and veteran biz owners and rookies and budding professionals who are PERFECT for networking and forming new joint ventures and sharing info.

Skip it if you’re scared, or distracted, or “out in the weeds” with your life. Your choice.

But make your decision at least with all the facts:

Get the details on the Action Seminar by clicking here.

There are zero guarantees that this event will ever happen again. It’s tough work putting it together, and corralling all these hot experts for a whole weekend. And it’s going to be exhausting (though exhilarating, too) for all concerned…

… because there’s so much interactive teaching. This is an event focused entirely on attendees, and the needs you bring with you when you arrive.

It’s all about making 2013 your best year ever… however you want to define “best”. For most, it’s profit and income. We excel at teaching that. But happiness is also important, and we have the goods on that, too.

First step, if you’re at all interested, is to get the details.

Get the details on the Action Seminar by clicking here.

Don’t screw around and miss this event because you got distracted. Veterans and rookies alike are welcome, and will get breakthrough insight and real plans you can implement without taking huge risks, or finding new sources of investment cash, or changing your biz radically at all.

This is DOABLE stuff. It’s the key to making things happen fast… so you have the rest of the year to maximize results, and enjoy life.

From where I sit, this should be a no-brainer decision. But you gotta make up your own mind.

Check it out.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. What are YOUR top ten secrets for success? Do they jive with mine, or do you have insight on something I may have skipped over?

The comment section is now wide open, and ready for threads.

This is THE most important period of the coming year. Getting your year off to the best possible start means months of doing it RIGHT, as opposed to months of wasted effort (that can murder your profits).

It’s your movie. You’re writing most of the script, and here’s an opportunity to see how the best in the game write boffo blockbusters for themselves, year after year.

Will I see you in San Diego?

P.P.S. One last thing — it’s VERY cool: When you see the little “flying box” on the Action Seminar site, be sure to click on it. That will automatically send three emails (over six days) to you loaded with actual Hot Seats I’ve performed onstage… plus an interview with the legendary Michael Gerber (author of “The E-Myth”)… and more goodies.

The Hot Seat videos are the meat of this meal, though. If you’ve never experienced this kind of “marketing intervention” before, you’re in for a shock. This is how the best (and highest priced) consultants in the universe perform their magic… identifying the “real” problems holding entrepreneurs up, solving them quickly, and kickstarting entirely new profit funnels. Right there, on the stage, in front of the audience.

It’s amazing to watch. Even more amazing to be part of… and guess what? You can ask to be chosen as one of the Hot Seat participants at THIS event in March.

Don’t miss this. Just don’t. Go here now to get the details:

Get the details on the Action Seminar by clicking here.

Tuesday, 2:57pm
Reno, NV
“Mongo just pawn in game of life.” (Blazing Saddles.)

Howdy…

Recently, I published a series of posts on Facebook under the theme “How To Win An Argument”. Over the week it ran, there was a vast and animated flurry of comment and interaction — the posts hit a nerve.

Fortunately, because that series got so much traction in Facebook, I decided to gather them and post the series here in the blog, so they’ll go into the archives (and thus can be easily accessed by anyone interested). I say “fortunately”, because apparently Zuckerberg and his evil Facebook henchmen decided that all my January posts before the 20th (which included the argument series) needed to vanish from the face of the earth (and the virtual earth that is social media).  Poof. They’re gone. No explanation, no way to get them back (though I’ve been searching for tips and asking for help from colleagues — there are a lot of videos out there pretending to have the secret of restoring “lost” posts, but they don’t work).

I’m kinda stunned… but glad I’d already copied and pasted those initial posts here. I’m doing the same with other FB posts from the past — just getting them copied into a Word doc, in case Zuck goes berzerk again. Jeez Louise, you probably need to take the same precautions if you have valuable posts you don’t want to lose.

So, Lesson #1: Do not trust Facebook to archive anything. The joint is crawling with post-devouring demons or something.

I’m not saying that everything I post there needs to be carved in stone. But I do write some cool shit on my wall, occasionally. It’d be nice if it remained there.

Anyway, below is a mildly-edited collection of that series on winning an argument. I didn’t save the dozens and dozens of comments, and that’s a shame — it was a great thread, full of other lessons. For example: The easiest way to get a whole bunch of folks frothing is to talk about (a) sex, or (b) their belief systems. They go nuts. As you’ll see below, I just laid out my views on how to handle people who want to argue and how to define “winning” for yourself… and that just pissed off some folks. Even discussing arguing inflamed their knee-jerk need to argue. Humorous, ironic, and illustrative of how whacko human beings can be. Also, as a marketer, informative — especially if you want or need to introduce some form of argument or alternative view into your advertising.

And, yes, this entire series is very much aimed at marketers. Great ads seldom argue, though they may be pushing buttons right and left. The psychology is subtle, but awesome.

So, without further ado, here’s that series. Love to hear your comments… which will all go safely into the blog archives, where Zuckerberg can’t touch them:

How To Win An Argument, Step 1: The primary rule is simple — never argue back, when your goal is persuasion.

No one, in the history of humankind, has ever changed their mind because of an argument. When cornered (logically or physically), humans dig in and will sacrifice wealth, health and dignity before admitting they’re wrong. They WILL change their minds, but not because you demolished their belief system with crap like logic and debate moves. They change because of an internal epiphany that is akin to death/rebirth.

So, Rule #1: If you want to “win”, never engage in an argument.

[My comment, mid-way through the fray in the Facebook comment section: "Interesting that several comments here reveal a complete misunderstanding of how to win an argument. I guess this little tutorial is needed. There are also several pro's commenting here who truly do get what I'm talking about, and I appreciate the specific tips they're sharing. Negotiation and persuasion are NOT part of our default equipment, folks..."]

How To Win An Argument, Step 2: Now you need to DEFINE what “win” means to you.

Is it to persuade the person you’re up against? That’s gonna require some deft moves (which we’ll discuss later).

Often, however, there may be an audience you want to persuade — so you’re actually playing to the crowd. (Give your opponent enough rope to hang himself, win the meta-discussion.) Or, you may be genuinely interested in other points of view (or acquiring intel on how the opposition operates).

Traditional arguing is just a shouting match with childish rules (first one to cry or leave loses). Not engaging the argument doesn’t necessarily mean splitting, though — you really need to understand WHY you’re in this situation, and what you want out of it.

This simple moment of defining your goal will help you with every single subsequent decision. (“Art Of War” aficionados — and chess players — will happily lose every single battle up to the last one, for the victory. But you need to know what “victory” means for you. Being stubborn — the first clue you’re dealing with a rookie — may win the immediate round, but ruin all future moves.) Step 3 tomorrow…

[My comments in the fray for Step 2: ”Once you get your Zen game on, coming up against someone who uses stubbornness as their main tactic will become a moment of joy (and easy, quick victory)…”

“BTW: If just shutting him up is your goal, mockery works best. I don’t recommend this, cuz it can lead to fisticuffs. You ‘win’ by shutting him down, but ‘lose’ by having teeth knocked out. Mockery works as a reframing tool — you discern the ape-brain fear behind his anger, and turn the conversation on that. The focus instantly becomes his fear and his reaction to being mocked over it. Few humans can avoid sputtering and regressing to infantile states when their deepest shame is publicly ridiculed. Very, very dirty trick, and probably you deserve whatever happens next if you use it…”

“Important: Being ‘armed’ with tactics that win is a huge responsibility. It’s like becoming skilled at martial arts, and you ARE responsible for the consequences of superior firepower. This is why knowing your goal is so critical.”

“Don’t get distracted by recent situations you’ve been in, guys. This is all pretty simple — for an easier life, and better marketing tactics, don’t argue… and get clear on what you consider a ‘win’. It can be win-win, win-lose, or no-play (or any of many other results). The key is to be conscious, not get sucked into time/energy-wasting exercises in futility, and to further your own goals…”

How To Win An Argument, Final Step: Okay, you realize that arguing isn’t persuasion, and you’ve defined what you want out of the situation. This is equal to (a) a reality check (so you stop doing what doesn’t work)… and (b) goal setting — the fundamentals of growth.

Next, you use the tools that DO work — which just happen to be the same tools great salesmen use to persuade skeptics to buy. You disarm anger, reframe the context (so you’re not wallowing in the stuck-in-one-place psychological wastelands that stubborn people like to fight in), and “come in through a side door” (as old school salesmen like to say).

You don’t engage head-on, you ignore irrationality, and because you’re so clear on your goal, you take your ego out of it. Use the old improv theater tactic of never being negative yourself — say “Yes… AND…” while moving things toward the discussion you actually want to have.

If you’ve ever been in the presence of a master negotiator, break down what happened. Resistance was soothed, bonding occurred, and you likely found yourself moving off your position and agreeing with him… even if you began on opposite sides.

In short… you “win” an argument by reframing what “win” means, so that you exit the nobody-wins context of belligerence (keeping your ego out of it), and use your salesmanship chops to find common ground, bond, navigate the mostly-unconscious landscape of your opponent (to avoid hot buttons while simultaneously teasing his positive emotional needs)… and relentlessly and patiently move toward your goal (whatever that is).

This is why great salesmen live better lives. They understand human behavior, so they always know what’s “really” going on, and they have skills to consciously persuade or redirect even irrational, emotionally-discordant folks to a better place. Where good things can occur.

At the very worst, you will never feel the angst of having gone through a useless shouting match (cuz you have self-permission to disengage at any time, since a “win” for you should include not feeling your blood pressure go up a single notch). And by realizing that a classic argument is almost never about what it looks like it’s about on the surface, you can control where the situation ends up.

So, take your ego out of it, define your desired results in terms of reality, and be a good salesman.

Make sense?

——

And that’s the series, folks.

On Facebook, part of the charm is keeping all posts relatively brief. I gave up on Twitter, because while I could craft nice 140-character posts, it was just too short to get any substance across. I could have never shared 3 lessons on winning an argument like this.

In the grand scheme of social media (which keeps mutating), Twitter is like walking quickly through a raging party, and catching snippets of conversations around you. You blink, you miss out. Facebook is more like stopping to have a conversation with someone for a few minutes, and you maybe are joined by others while you chat. Blogs remain the only medium similar to a book — there is no limit (or even an expected limit) on length, subject or presentation… plus you get the interactive element of the comments section.

I enjoy the immediacy of Facebook, and the way I can be playful or serious, and not feel like I’m writing anything for posterity. (And, apparently, Facebook returns the favor on posterity, deleting posts randomly and on whim.) It really is, for me, like having nice conversations at a damn good party. The blog is where I stretch out and get serious about writing well and delivering lasting lessons.

At any rate, I’m happy the series was salvaged (though the comment threads were not).

You can disagree with me on any or all of these points. Just know that this is insider tips from a veteran sales pro who learned it all the hard way, and honed the skill of persuasion in the front trenches of the real world. My client list has included some of the most stubborn bastards to ever walk the earth. Learning to wrangle them to where I needed conversations to go was essential, and these lessons saved my butt many times.

Love to hear your take on the matter, of course, in the comments section below.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Yes, I updated this a couple of times, after we found the original posts. That’s the beauty of the online publishing world — you can edit on the fly, with no final deadline for printing.

Special Note If You’ve Just Come Here From My Facebook Rant On Winning Arguments: If you’re looking for a fast, thoroughly fun way to quickly learn high-end salesmanship skills… for a screaming bargain, no less… grab a copy of my must-read book “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel” here.

Okay, on to the current blog post:

Saturday, 1:30pm
Reno, NV

“Hey, you bastards, I’m still here!” (Steve McQueen as Papillon, floating away to freedom…)

Howdy…

I’m re-publishing — for what has become a very popular tradition on this blog — one of the more influential posts I’ve ever written.

What you’re about to encounter is a slightly tweaked way of looking at the best way to start your new year…

… but this tweak makes all the difference in the world. I’ve heard from many folks that this particular technique finally helped them get a perspective on where they’re at, where they’re going…

… and why they care about getting there.

So, even if you’ve read this post before… it’s worth another look. Especially now, as you gaze down the yawning gullet of 2013, trying to wrap your brain around a plan to make the year your bitch.

This is a critical step for entering any new period of your life. To keep your life moving ahead, you need to set some goals, dude. And most goal-setting tactics, I’ve found, are useless. Worst among them is the traditional New Year’s resolutions (which seldom last through January).

This tactic I’m sharing with you (again) is something I’ve used, very successfully, for decades…

… to reach goals, to clarify the direction of my life, and to change habits. I first shared it in the old Rant newsletter a few years back, and I’ve hauled it out here in the blog on a regular basis.  It’s timeless, classic stuff that will never let you down.

So let’s dive in. Here’s the relevant part of the post (slightly edited):

“Goal Setting 101 And
The January 15th Letter”

Yeah, yeah, I know a chat about goals can quickly turn into a boring, pedantic lecture. But then, so can a chat about space flight.

And, in reality, both space flight and your goals are VERY exciting things.

Or should be.

It’s all in the telling.

What I’m not going to discuss are “resolutions”. Those are bogus pseudo-goals that have the staying power of pudding in a microwave.

No. It’s merely a coincidence that I’m suggesting a review of your goals in January, just after the New Year’s supposed fresh start.

I mean…there’s not much else to do, so why not sit down and plan out the rest of your life.

This is, of course, a very damp, cold, and bleak time of year. The depths of winter and discontent.

A good percentage of the population suffers fleeting depression because of lack of sunlight… thanks to the geniuses behind Daylight Savings Time, who arrange for dusk to arrive around 2:30 in the afternoon in these parts.

We also just got slammed with back-to-back-to-back “Storms of the Century”, each one dumping a record load of snow on us. I sent photos to friends, and many emailed back wondering when I’d gone to Antarctica to live.

We had a little cabin fever brewing. Didn’t help when the local PBS channel ran a special on the Donner Party, either. Three feet of snow drifting down, the lights flickering, enough ice on the road to make the SUV sidle like a Red Wing goon slamming someone into the boards.

The safest place was home… but man, the walls start to close in after a few days.

I’m telling you, I had excuses up the yin-yang for allowing my senses to get a little dulled. The natural response is to turn your mind off, and hibernate until March. And I succumbed. Started moping around, watching CSI: Miami reruns instead of reading a book, surfing the Net for stuff I didn’t care about… you know the drill.

I’m sure you’ve done your own version of it now and again.

And I’m also sure you already know that no amount of “buck up” happy talk will mitigate the gloom.

In fact, there are a few enlightened health pro’s who say we should let our bodies wind down every year or so. Get a full system-flush type of cold, crawl under the covers for a few days and let the demons and other bad stuff bubble to the surface. So you can purge the crud. Evacuate the used-up bacteria and tube-clogs out of your pipes, physically. And shoo the whispering monsters out of your head.

We’re not perfect creatures. We need to sleep, we need to recharge our batteries, and we need to stop and get our bearings. At least once a year. So don’t beat yourself up for the occasional down period. We all have them, and the healthiest folks just roll with it. It’s not good to repress this stuff.

It only becomes a problem when you sink into clinical depression. That’s the cold, empty state where nothing looks good, and hope is an absurd memory.

I’ve been there. Several times. The year I turned 30 (for example) I lost my job, my girlfriend and my place to live all within a 45-day stretch.

That shit can wear you down.

Now, I have two things to say about this:

Thing Numero Uno: If you think you’re losing a grip on your mental state, seek professional help. Don’t head straight for pharmaceutical land, though — give “talk therapy” a try with a real, qualified psychotherapist.

Choose this therapist carefully. You’re going to dump every secret you have on him. You may need to plow through a couple to find one that clicks with you (just as you might have to try out several dentists or plumbers to get a good match). (And yes, you should regard this therapist just as you would your dentist — they’re not gonna become your new best friend, but they will bring a professional expertise to the table during the time you need them. And you only need to see them until you get your head straight… which might be a short time or long time. Again — just like you may need serious dental work, or just a cleaning once a year. Figure it out.)

Keep in mind the fact that everyone goes through bumpy emotional states. And that the percentage of people who actually do lose it every year is rather small.

That’s why talking about your problems with someone who has perspective can be so beneficial — the first thing you learn is that you aren’t alone. And what you’re going through is not abnormal.

Most of the time, you’re probably going to be fine. Even when your problems seem overwhelming. There are tools available to help your brain cope. You don’t often come across these tools on your own.

This kind of talk-therapy is one of the few times the “science” of psychology earns its keep — because finding out how others successfully dealt with the same nonsense you’re suffering through can change everything. Seriously — often, just discovering that you’re not alone in what you’re going through, that others have successfully navigated similar troubles, and that the folks who study human behavior and thinking patterns now have really simple (and super-effective) ways to obliterate feeling overwhelmed can solve much of what’s currently holding you back.

A good book to read (while you’re waiting for the spring thaw) is “Learned Optimism” by Martin Seligman. I’ve recommended it before, and it deserves another nod. (The blurb on the back cover, from the New York Times Book Review, starts with “Vaulted me out of my funk…”)

I haven’t read the book in a few years, but I remember the main lesson well. A study, explained up front, stands out: Someone tested the “happiness” quotient of a vast sample of people, including Holocaust survivors.

And it turns out that, at some point in your life, Abraham Lincoln was right – you are as happy as you decide to be.

This is startling news to anyone lost in despair. Because it seems like you’ve been forced to feel that way. With no choice.

But it’s not the case. The happiness study revealed that you can not tell from a person’s current attitude what sort of trauma they had gone through earlier in life. People who had suffered horribly could be happy as larks, while silver-spoon never-stubbed-a-toe folks were miserable.

The difference? Attitude. Optimistic people work through setbacks and trauma… while pessimists settle into a funk that can’t be budged.

And it’s a CHOICE. At some point in your life, you choose to either live in gloom or sunlight.

This realization rocks many folk’s boat. Especially the pessimists. They dominate society, politics, business, everything. And they are very protective of their gloom and doom outlook. Invested, heavily, in proving themselves right about the inherent nastiness of life.

Maybe you’re one of ‘em.

If you are, you’re killing yourself, dude.

The guys in lab coats who study this stuff say that heart disease rates are HALF for optimists over pessimists. So, even if you doubt the ability to measure “happiness” — and it is a rather rocky science — you still can’t deny the stats on dropping dead from a gloomy ticker.

Now, I am most assuredly NOT a clear-eyed optimist. I get creepy feelings around people who are too happy all the time.

But I do prefer having a good time, and appreciating the finer things in life (like a deep breath of cold alpine air, or the salty whip of an ocean wave around my ankles, or a secret smile from the wonderful woman I live with).

I’m just good at balancing out the bad with the good.

Being in direct response helps. Lord knows, there’s a LOT of bad with every piece of good news in this wacky biz.

Gary Halbert and I had a term we used for years: We’re “pessimistic optimists”. (Or maybe we’re optimistic pessimists. I forget.)

How does that work? Easy.

We expected horrible atrocities at every turn… and rejoiced when we defied Fate and unreasonable success rained down on our undeserving heads. We grooved on the good stuff in life… and just nodded sagely at the bad stuff and moved past it as quickly as possible. Maybe cop a lesson or two as we scurried by.

If you focus on the bad things that can go wrong, you’ll never crawl out of bed in the morning.

When you finally realize that — not counting health problems — pretty much everything bad that business, or relationships, or politics can throw at you will not kill you… then you can begin to relax.

And eagerly court the Unknown by starting another project.

Have you ever had your heart broken? Hurts like hell, doesn’t it. Feels like your life is over.

Well, from my perspective, sitting here at “way past 50” and pretty darned happy, all those romances-gone-wrong that broke my heart long ago look just plain silly now. And my resulting deep depressions — where I was sure my life was over — are just tiresome lessons I had to get through.

Not a one of those ladies was worth a burp of angst. They were fine people, I’ll agree to that. A few were exceptional (and very skilled at certain man-pleasing arts).

But worth a Shakespearean suicide?

No way.

It’s taken me a while, but I’m now a certified realist. My youthful idealism has drained away, and my brushes with hate-everything dogma never took.

And guess what? Contrary to what an embarrassingly huge number of self-righteous folks would have you believe… being a realist has not dented my passion for life one little bit. In fact, it has opened up a whole new world of unexplainable spirituality (which cannot be contained within any formal religion).

I’m not against religion. Let’s have no “save my soul” emails here. One of my favorite friends to argue with has a doctorate in theology. And I have many other friends committed to various belief systems ranging from fundamentalist to Buddhist to humanist. We get along because, on a deep level, we understand that true spirituality transcends whatever way you choose to express it or appreciate it.

I loathe black-and-white views of the world. It’s a shame that our great country has descended to this “you’re nuts if you don’t agree with me” mentality… but it’s part of the pendulum that’s been swinging back and forth ever since we left the jungle.

The far edges of our institutions — political, religious, cultural, all of it — are in spiritual and emotional “lock down”. They’re sure they’re right, they’re positive you’re wrong, and neither facts nor logic will sway their position.

Mushy liberals seem astonished that anyone would ever not love us, or want to destroy our culture. Repressed conservatives seem intent on crushing everyone who pisses them off (and that’s a lot of people).

It’s “whatever” versus “blind obedience”. And neither works so hot in the real world. I have no use for dogma, or idealism, or punishingly-harsh rules that have been cooked up by hypocrites.

Hey — I’m in no position to tell anyone how to live their life. I’ve screwed up plenty, and if I have any wisdom at all, it’s only because I’ve survived some truly hairy situations.

But I don’t believe anyone else is in a position to tell you how to live, either. That’s gotta be your decision.

And it’s a damn hard one to make.

Fortunately, while I can’t tell you how to live, I can move some smooth (and proven) advice in your direction. Take it or leave it… but give it a listen anyway, cuz my track record on successful advice-giving is fairly impressive.

And I’m telling you that having a hateful, brooding attitude will stunt your growth. It will make you a smaller person, a less-wise person, an older and feebler person. And you won’t grow. Not spiritually, not physically, not emotionally. Not in your business life, either.

Most people don’t want to grow, anyway. Growth only comes from movement and change… and the vast majority of the folks walking the earth with us today are terrified of change.

You can’t blame them, really. Change is a form of death. Whatever was before, dies. And whatever comes next must be nurtured with devotion and sacrifice.

That’s hard. That’s a hard way to live, always dying and being reborn.

And because it’s hard, it’s avoided.

Well, screw that.

I suspect, if you’re reading this, you are not afraid of change. But you may not yet understand the power that REALLY giving yourself to change offers.

And that brings us to…

Thing Numero Dos: Goals are all about change.

That’s a subtle point many people gloss over. Rookie goal-setters often get stuck on stuff like quitting smoking, or vague concepts like “become a better person”.

Or “get rich”.

That seldom works. Goals need to be specific… and they need to involve profound change in order to take hold.

Halbert often talked about “image suicide” — the necessity of killing and burying the “self” you are so heavily invested in, before you can move to a new level of success.

I see this all the time in my consultations. Biz owners refuse to do even slightly risky marketing, for fear of damaging their “reputations.”

And my question to them is: What reputation?

Unless you’re the top dog in your niche, no one gives a rat’s ass about what you think or do. No one is looking at your marketing for inspiration or condemnation, because you aren’t the guy to look at.

No. What these scaredy-cats are talking about when they say “reputation” is what their family and friends think of them. And that’s a sure sign of a losing attitude. That ain’t Operation MoneySuck.

My colleague Ron LeGrand, the real estate guru, is one of the best natural salesmen I’ve ever met. The guy understands the fundamental motivating psychology of a prospect at a master’s level.  And he knows that one of the major obstacles he faces in every sale… is what the prospect’s spouse (usually the wife) will say.

She can nix the sale with a sneer. Or she can nix it in the prospect’s head, as he imagines that sneer.

Ron counters both sides of the objection expertly. He encourages the prospect to get his spouse involved in the decision, so she becomes invested in it. Or, he suggests waiting until the first big check comes in… and letting the money explain to her about what you’re up to.

This is the reality of most people’s lives. As much as they want what you offer… they are terrified of making a mistake. Cuz they’ll pay dearly for it at home.

It’s a huge deal-killer.

That’s why you include lots of “reason why” copy in your pitch — to give your buyer ammunition for explaining his decision to the doubters in his life. However, as Ron knows, the best (and simplest) “reason why” is results.

Money, as they say, talks.

The top marketers seldom give a moment’s thought to what a risky tactic might do to their “reputation”. They don’t really care what people think about them. You can’t bank criticism.

I know many marketers who are involved in projects they are passionate about… but which bore their spouses to tears. Some (like Howard Stern’s former wife) are even deeply embarrassed. But they don’t complain too much. Because the money’s so good.

Aw, heck. I could go on and on about this. The story of Rodale’s shock and dismay at the brutally-honest ad I wrote for their timid “sex book” is a great example. They refused to mail it, because of their “reputation”. Yet, after it accidentally did mail, and became a wildly-successful control for 5 years, they suddenly decided their reputation could handle it after all.

The people who get the most done in life are all extreme risk-takers. They embrace change, because growth is impossible without it.

But you don’t go out and start changing things willy-nilly.

You need goals.

And you need a plan.

Now, there are lots of books out there that tell you how to set goals. I recently found, in a moldy banker’s box, the ad for Joe Karbo’s book “The Lazy Man’s Way To Riches” that I’d responded to back in 1982. The exact ad! With the order form torn out… it was the first direct mail pitch I’d ever encountered, and it changed my life forever. Joe’s book was essentially a treatise on setting goals. And it’s good.

It was a wake-up call for me. I’m having that crinkly old ad framed. Can’t imagine why I kept it, but I did. Pack-rat riches.

If you can’t find that particular book, there are dozens of newer goal-setting guides on the shelves. But they’re all based on the same formula:

1. Decide what you want.

2. Write it down, and be specific.

3. Read the list often, imaging as you read that you have already achieved each goal.

What this does is alter the underpinnings of your unconscious. When one of your goals is to earn a million bucks this year, and that goal burns bright in the back of your mind, each decision you make will be influenced.

So, for example, you won’t accept a permanent job somewhere that pays $50,000 a year. Cuz that isn’t going to help you attain your goal.

The problem is this:  To earn a mil in a year, you need to average around $50,000 every two weeks. This is why it can take a while to get your goal-setting chops honed. As I’ve said many times, most folks don’t know what they want.

And they aren’t prepared for the changes necessary to get what they want, once they do decide on a goal.

What kind of guy earns $50,000 every two weeks, like clockwork? It takes a certain level of business savvy to create that kind of steady wealth. It doesn’t fall into your lap.

What kind of guy makes a windfall of a million bucks in one chunk? That’s another kind of savvy altogether.

In that same moldy banker’s box, I also found a bunch of my early goal lists. And I’m shocked at how modest my aims were. At the time — I was in the first months of going out on my own, a totally pathetic and clueless rookie — I couldn’t even imagine earning fifty K a year. My first goal was $24,000 as a freelancer. And to score a better rental to live in. Find a date for New Year’s. Maybe buy a new used car.

Listen carefully: I met those goals. As modest as they were, it would have been hard not to. I needed them to be modest, because I was just getting my goal-setting chops together. And I wasn’t sure if I was wasting my time even bothering to set goals.

Let me assure you, it was NOT a waste of time.

The lists I found covered several later years, too. And what’s fascinating is that many of the more specific goals I set down were crossed out – I wanted those goals, but didn’t feel confident about obtaining them.

So I crossed them out, and forgot about them.

A couple of decades later, I realize that I’ve attained every single one of those “forgotten” goals. The big damn house, the love of my life, the professional success, even the hobbies and the guitars and the sports car.

I’m stunned. This is powerful voodoo here.

The universe works in mysterious ways, and you don’t have to belong to a religion to realize this. The whole concept of “ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened” was well-known by successful people long before Luke and Matthew wrote it down.

The keys are action. Movement.

Ask, seek, knock.

These simple actions will change your life forever.

Back to making a million in a year: Some guys know what they need to do to make this goal real. They’ve done it before, or they’ve come close.

Setting the goal is serious business for them… because they are well aware of the tasks they’ve assigned themselves. Take on partners, put on seminars, create ad campaigns, build new products. Get moving on that familiar path.

I’ve known many people who started the year with such a goal… who quickly modified it downward as the reality of the task became a burden. Turns out they didn’t really want the whole million after all. Half of that would suffice just fine. To hell with the work required for the full bag of swag.

Other guys don’t know what they need to do to earn a mil. So their goal really is: Find out what I need to do to earn a million bucks.

Their initial tasks are to ask, seek, and knock like crazy. And change the way they move and act in the world. Because they must transform themselves into the kind of guy who earns a million bucks in one year.

Right now, they aren’t that guy.

So, for example, reading “The 7 Habits Of Highly Effective People” suddenly becomes an “A” task, while remodeling the kitchen gets moved to the back of the burner. Sharpening your ability to craft a killer sales pitch becomes more important than test-driving the new Porsche.

More important, even, than dating Little Miss Perfect. And test-driving her new accessories.

Tough choice?

Nope. When you get hip to the glory of focused change, you never lament leaving the “old” you behind.

It will be hard, sometimes, no doubt about it. Especially when you discover your old gang no longer understands you, or mocks your ambition. They liked the old, non-threatening you. They want him to come back.

But you’ve changed. And hot new adventures are going to take up a lot more of your time now.

My trick to setting goals is very simple:

Every January 15th, I sit down and write myself a letter, dated exactly one year ahead.

And I describe, in that letter, what my life is like a year hence. (So, in 2012, I dated the letter to myself as January 15, 2013.)

It’s a subtle difference to the way other people set goals. Took me a long time to figure it out, too.

For many years, I wrote out goals like “I live in a house on the ocean”, and “I earn $24,000 a year”. And that worked. But it was like pushing my goals.

Writing this letter to myself is more like pulling my goals. For me, this works even better. Every decision I make throughout the year is unconsciously influenced, as I am pulled toward becoming the person I’ve described.

But here’s where I do it very differently: My goals are deliberately in the “whew” to “no friggin’ way” range. Mega-ambitious, to downright greedy.

There’s a sweet spot in there — doable, if I commit myself, but not so outrageous that I lose interest because the required change is too radical.

I’m pretty happy with myself these days. Took me a long, hard slog to get here, and I earned every step. And I want to continue changing, because I enjoy change. But I don’t need to reinvent myself entirely anymore.

So here’s what makes this ambitious goal-setting so effective: I don’t expect to REACH most of them.

In fact, I’m happy to get half of what I wanted.

There’s a ton of psychology at work there. The person I describe a year away often resembles James Bond more than the real me. Suave, debonair, flush, famous, well-traveled… and in peak health. I hit all the big ones.

However, long ago I realized that trying to be perfect was a sure way to sabotage any goal I set. Perfectionists rarely attain anything, because they get hung up on the first detail that doesn’t go right.

Being a good goal-setter is more like successful boxing – you learn to roll with the punches, cuz you’re gonna get hit.

You just stay focused on the Big Goal. And you get there however you can.

I’m looking at last year’s letter. I was a greedy bastard when I wrote it, and I didn’t come close to earning the income figure I set down.

Yet, I still had my best year ever.

And — here’s the kicker — I would NOT have had such a great year, if I wasn’t being pulled ahead by that letter. There were numerous small and grand decisions I made that would have gone another way without the influence of what I had set down.

I didn’t travel to the places I had listed. But I did travel to other, equally-fun places. I didn’t finish that third novel. But I did position it in my head, and found the voice I want for narration. That’s a biggie. That was a sticking point that would have kept the novel from ever getting finished.

Now, it’s on power-glide.

There’s another “hidden” benefit to doing this year-ahead letter: It forces you to look into the future.

A lot of people make their living peering ahead and telling everyone else what to expect. Most do a piss-poor job of it — weathermen are notorious for getting it wrong, as are stock market analysts, wannabe trend-setters, and political prognosticators.

Yet, they stay in business. Why? Because the rest of the population is terrified of looking into the future. That would require some sincere honesty about their current actions… since what the future holds is often the consequence of what you’re doing right now.

If you’re chain-smoking, chasing street hookers, and living on doughnuts, your future isn’t pretty. For example.

Or if you’ve maxed out all your credit cards, and haven’t done your due diligence to start bringing in moolah, your future isn’t nice, either.

No one can “see” into the future for real. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try. In fact, it’s easy, when you have a little experience in life.

Things you do today will have consequences tomorrow. If you put up a website today for a product, and you do everything you can to bring traffic to it and capture orders… your consequence can be pretty and nice.

Sure, you may get hit by a bus while fetching the morning paper… but letting that possibility scare you off of trying for something better is for pessimists (who are scheduled for early checkout).

You have enormous control over your future.

And once you realize that, you can set out to start shaping it.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. If you’re one of those people who’ve been skimming blogs like this… never reading anything carefully and slowly, and digesting what’s on the page… then I have one more suggestion for you: Stop doing that.

Most of the uber-successful folks I know (and I know a lot) have both skimming skills AND “deep reading” skills. And they know when to use them. You skim to get overviews, which may turn out to be flawed (because you missed something crucial in your skimming). You deep-read when you want to absorb something important, and you need to make the impression of what you read stick in your brain.

Right now, there are readers here who should be seriously considering the courses and opportunities I offer in the right-hand column of this blog. This is the stuff that has launched freelance careers, transformed biz owners into ad-writing monsters, and armed both rookie and veteran entrepreneurs with the fundamentally awesome skills of success. Quickly, and with the surety of proven-in-the-real-world tactics and advice.

So stop screwing around. If you need further help in getting your career going, or in crafting the kind of marketing that will boost profits through the roof… then consider the offerings on this page an essential task in your new list of goals. This is the real deal. No fluff, no nonsense — just honest, solid, proven stuff from a respected veteran of biz success.

Meanwhile, get busy with your January 15th letter.

Wednesday, 10:36pm
Reno, NV
“To the moon, Alice!” (Ralph Kramden)

Howdy…

I’m recycling a post from a little while back, because it’s on a subject that can never be discussed too many times…

… especially when it’s important that you establish a real, visceral connection with people to make your business work.

In fact, what I’m bring up here is much more critical to creating effective advertising than many of the obvious things people tend to focus on (like “long copy versus shot copy”, or how to test offers).

Listen: If you understand how to use the powerful tool explained below…

… you can screw up almost every other part of creating your ad (or video, or website, or email, or whatever you’re using to get your story across)… and still crush it with results.

So ignore the details in this dusty post (like references to “Six Feet Under”, that great HBO series now long-gone)…

… and know that the insight revealed here will forever be one of the most influential you’ll ever use in marketing.

In fact, it’s just becoming more and MORE important as social media and info-overwhelm continues to nudge everyone toward ADHD-Land, where attention spans are pathetic and fundamental human emotions like empathy wither.

Here’s the post (with a few edits and some added stuff):

Jeez Louise. Did you catch Sunday’s episode of “Six Feet Under” on HBO, with the jarring funeral scenes?

It was… shattering.

I was jarred back to every funeral I’d ever attended, and had emotions wrung out of me I’d long forgotten about.

Screw reality TV. The truly well-written fictional shows (most of them on HBO) can still rattle your cage like classic literature.

That episode was quality emotional-wringing.

Got me thinking, too. About empathy. And writing.

I’ve known people who seem to have shut down their empathy gears… and it becomes evident when they lose the ability to get outside of themselves and see the world from other people’s viewpoint.  Movies require you to emotionally connect with the characters…

… and I recall uncles who fell asleep during the pea-soup-spewing scenes in “The Exorcist”…

… friends who laughed all through “Jaws”…

… and (in a real-world example) even an acquaintance who wondered what the big deal was when a colleague freaked out over a cherished cat’s sudden demise.

I also first saw “Saving Private Ryan” with a friend who was still a little shaky over his years in Vietnam during the war. He’d asked me to see it with him for moral support… and while he didn’t seem to have a tough time watching the movie, I kept an eye on him anyway, not sure what sort of poison might be brewing back up.

Those three films — and my experience with pets and people dying and careers ending and relationships imploding — were all emotionally jarring on various levels. And they were executed by master craftsmen, using scripts written by writers who knew where the tender spots were in most audiences.

I always feel a little estranged from people who either are — or claim to be — removed from emotional reactions.

In real life, we mostly experience things from inside our heads or along the contours of our immediate senses. It’s a claustrophobic point-of-view even the best Hollywood-quality cameras can’t yet mimic. In real life, everything happens just outside (or just within) our personal space, moment by moment, with no editing and no replay button.

When you personally feel emotional trauma, it’s a shock-inducing trial by fire that consumes you.

However, watching a TV show or a movie is a removed experience — pure voyeurism. You’re not there. It’s not happening to you. It shouldn’t have the same power as real life.

And yet… sometimes all the emotion of the real experience IS there, bubbling up from deep inside.

All the good writers I know are drenched with emotional self-knowledge and empathy for the emotional experiences of others. We aren’t walking around sobbing hysterically… but we are easily overcome with the feeling of a situation.

Sometimes too easily. Several times, while speaking at seminars, I’ve gone off on tangents about something I really cared about, and felt myself start to choke up. I had to back off, and take a long moment to settle down and re-gather my wits. I know other speakers — the good ones — have had similar experiences.

And I often – often – finish writing something and realize I’ve got tears streaming down my face, and I’m deep into a tub of emotional goo I’ve created as I type.

This extra dose of emotion is no accident. You cannot be a good writer without empathy – without understanding, personally, what it’s like to feel everything humans are capable of feeling.

At full strength, too. The industrial-quality stuff.

The intensity of your ability to feel infuses your writing with power, and a connection to the most complex tragedies, comedies and dramas of human interaction.

In short… feeling strong emotions is a good thing.

If your emotions are in lock-down… from a bad childhood, or from a misguided sense of what it takes to be a man or woman (or leader or executive or parent or biz owner or anything else)… you will never be able to get into another person’s head.

And you’ll never find that sweet spot of need and connection that makes great literature great… and great sales copy a license to print money.

You don’t have to become a Drama Queen.

But you do need to stop pretending that emotions are some foreign intrusion on your coolness. Embrace your ability to know joy, sadness and yes, even pain. These are the building blocks of a well-lived life… and of a very, very, very effective writer.

No one gets out of here without a few tears.

Be a sap. It will help you engage with life more fully, and write with real passion.

Step One: Examine your capacity for empathy right now.  Watch a TV show critically, and know that in most dramas there will be set times when the writers have inserted emotionally-rigged triggers for viewers — they are purposefully trying to tweak your heartstrings or your feelings of fear, sadness, or hope for the good guy to win.

Check yourself for responses.  I know that every episode of “House”, for example, will test me emotionally (usually 47.5 minutes into the show, when a moment of truth arrives for the patient).  (Just kidding — I haven’t timed it.  But I’ll bet I’m close.)  ”SVU – Special Victims Unit” will present the same assault on your emotions.  Re-runs of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Two And A Half Men” are rife with them.

You don’t need to burst into tears to know your empathy gears are working.  But you do need to know HOW you respond to both well-written and poorly-written attempts to tweak your heart and ability to care about others.

Step Two: Your life daily presents you with endless opportunities to embrace your full humanity….

… most of which we self-train ourselves to ignore, dismiss, or even fear.

Get over it.

We are, fundamentally, emotional beings… who have created cultures where open displays of emotion are frowned upon, regarded with horror, or at least saddled with restrictions.

It screws us up in spectacular ways.

As a writer, it’s your job to transcend the shackles of repression that hobble others.  You need to give your emotions a daily work-out, strengthen them, know them as well as you know your favorite tastes, smells and visual pleasures…

… and, most of all, you need to respect them.

The world’s gone shallow on us.  That’s a HUGE opportunity for every writer who gets comfortable with emotion (and especially empathy), and knows how to use it to raise his messages above the puddles of feeling now dominating most folks’ lives.

So sap up.  The best writers are fully aware of EVERY part of being human, and this is the big part.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Hope you have a great holiday. The media-driven assault on your emotions is already in high gear, and the corporate guilt-tripping is extremely clever this time around.

So, good luck. Embrace the good times, and hug your loved ones tight. Then learn something during the brazen attempts of companies to wring more cash out of you, especially when they go for the emotional jugular.

Love, and learn. That ain’t a bad philosophy to have going into the new year, you know…

Saturday, 3:17pm
Mendocino, CA
“Under my thumb is a squirming dog who just had her day…” (Stones)

Howdy. I’m republishing this article from 2010, cuz it was one of the most-discussed and helpful posts I’ve written. And it’s on a subject most biz books not only ignore, but aggressively seek to dismiss. Yet, in my decades of consulting, I see it bubble up in nearly every entrepreneur I meet at some point.

So, enjoy another nugget from the archives. (And I hope you didn’t eat much — again — at Thanksgiving…):

Friend…

Do you suffer from the heartbreak of envy?

Are you jealous of friends and colleagues who attain success, while you continue to struggle?

Would you like to learn a simple cure for feeling inferior to others?

Well, then step right up…

Here’s the story: I grew up with the definite impression that ambition was a moral failing.  The operative phrase was “Don’t get too big for your britches”…

… which was a cold warning to anyone who dared attempt to rise above their (vaguely defined) place in life.

And one of the greatest joys was to gleefully watch the collapse and humbling of the High & Mighty.  I believe there’s some evolutionary fragment left in our systems that wants a solid check on keeping folks from leaving the pack.

Now, if you risk failing and succeed, that’s great.  We were there for ya the entire time, Bucko.  Rooted for ya.  Got yer back.

I think our innate need for leadership allows for a select few to “make it” without hostility.  And, as long as they provide whatever it is we need from them — protection, entertainment, intellectual stimulation, decisive action, look good in a tight sweater, whatever — they get a pass.

But we seem to have a ceiling of tolerance for others moving up the hierarchy too fast.  Whoa, there, buddy.  Where do you think you’re going?

And when the unworthy grab the brass ring, it can trigger a hormone dump that’ll keep you up all night.  Because, why did HE make it, when he’s clearly not the right dude towin.  This is totally fucking unfair, and makes ME look bad now.

The lucky creep.

I hope he screws up and gets what’s coming to him…

And so on.

I’ve felt it, you’ve felt it, the nicest person you’ve ever met has felt it.  Humans are constantly comparing themselves to others, and we do not like it when Mr. Envy comes a’knockin’.

Dan Sullivan (of Strategic Coach) has a good take on this: He suggests you stop comparing yourself to others… and instead, compare yourself to yourself.  Get happy with the progress you’ve made from wherever you were before.  Don’t allow your brain to start measuring how short you came up against your lofty dreams, or other’s success. (Which is what most folks do.)

I like that tactic.

However, I have another one I’ve been employing ever since I began my solo career, so many decades ago.

It works, and I think you’ll like having it in your tool kit.

Back then, as a raw rookie, I was dangerously inept.  And woefully inexperienced and unprepared for the tasks ahead of me.  Had I allowed my Inner Scaredy-Cat to win the argument, I never would have left the house to go snag my first gig.

Worse, as I moved into inner circles (at joints like Jay Abraham’s offices), I began to encounter other writers my age and younger… who were light-years ahead of me in every category.  Fame, skill, wealth… and especially that precious sense of feeling like you earned your place in the world and belonged there.

Mr. Envy showed up frequently, and occasionally I would find myself secretly wishing for these guys to fail.  I mean, why them and not me yet?  The bastards were too big for their britches…

But that wasn’t gonna work. If I wanted to earn my OWN place in the world, I realized I needed to knee-cap Mr. Envy, and lock that demon away somewhere forever.

Because the better way to look at things… was to congratulate these guys on their success, learn from their adventures getting there, and encourage even more success for them.

There was, I knew (once Mr. Envy was muzzled), plenty of room for everybody in the writing game… and the other guy’s success didn’t impact my own even a little bit.

In fact, once I selflessly began networking with them, they helped me out.  It was win-win, all the way.

Still, though… that nagging sense of “Gee, I wish I was him” kept lurching back into my head. I wanted to be an MTV rock star, a drooled-over novelist, an infamous international lover, a frequent guest on Larry King (this was a long time ago, folks), David Letterman’s best friend, a gazillionaire with no worries about rent or…

And that’s when I stumbled on this extremely cool CURE for envy.

I’m sure I nicked it from some other source, somewhere… but I haven’t been able to find it explained anywhere else.  Maybe I really did invent it.

At any rate… it works.

Wanna know what it is?

Okay.  Here is my…

Super-Potent Envy Cure: When you find yourself wishing you were someone else… or at least in their shoes, enjoying all the great stuff they seem to be enjoying…

… just imagine being inside their skin – really inside them, being them — for 5 minutes.  Dealing with everything that makes them who they are.

And then see if their life still looks so good.

Most envy comes from a lack of something, perceived or real.  When you’re broke, the dude with two hundred bucks in his checking account looks like a winner.  When you’re desperately horny, the guy getting laid all the time looks like the hero of a 007 novel.  When you’re being ignored in your market, the mogul with the big business machine looks like a cushy gig.

This is where your street-level salesmanship comes in.  (Which is what I’ve been trying to share with y’all over the past 6 years here in the blog.)

Great salesmen lead better lives.  Not because they sell lots of stuff… but because they live in the real world.  You can’t be efficient selling when you’re hobbled with a belief that the world (and everyone in it) “should” behave a certain way… or you wish they would.

Naw.  You gotta be hip to how people actually operate.  So you take off the blinders, and peek behind the masks, and get to know your fellow high-end primates REALLY well, from deep inside their hearts and minds.

This raising of the curtain — shocking at first — will actually make you love people more… while also helping you understand why they do what they do.  You’ll understand why good people do bad things, why bad people do good things, and why the inner life of everyone around you is unique.

And while you love your fellow beasts…

… once you feel comfy with yourself (because you’re finally going after your goals and engaging in your own rollicking adventure in life)…

… you won’t want to spend even a full minute inside the skin of anyone else.

Because it is CREEPY AS HELL in there.

I love to read autobiographies and biographies.  (Or skim them, when they’re horribly written.)

It has changed my outlook — and my petty jealousies — to learn the real story of the people I once idolized, and often wished I was living their life.

Wow, does it ever change your outlook.  Especially when you discover the wicked little secrets that fueled their motivation to attain whatever it is — fame, acclaim, wealth, accomplishments — that triggered your envy button.

The novelists loathed themselves.  The movie stars craved adulation like junk.  The great lovers were joyless asshole sociopaths.  The wealthy barons were infested with sick needs.

Big men still pitied themselves over Mommie’s inattention.  Forceful leaders were quivering lakes of insecurity.  Debonair social stalwarts harbored unquenchable dark desires.

Yes, there are folks out there who succeed without secret vices and immature cravings.

They’re also boring as hell.  And you’d be screaming for release after ten seconds inside their skin.  (Many have just been unusually successful at quashing their sweaty-palmed desires.  In fact, the boring ones are often sitting on the nastiest payloads of demons.  See: Every Bible-thumping politician recently caught with hookers and drugs.)

You want wit, a lust of adventure, forceful opinions and a knack for winning in your heroes?

I do, too.  But I’ve learned to like them despite the roiling mess of complexity coursing through their veins.

In fact, I embrace it.  I like my heroes flawed — it brings out the luster of their accomplishments.

It also highlights the elusive (and quickly disappearing) moments of satisfaction they seek.

You’re alive.  You are here on this earth with a ticket to ride that expires (sometimes sooner rather than later).  You may wish you had a better set-up… finer bone structure, a thicker mop of hair, more muscles, more impressive genitals, bluer eyes, a rich uncle with you in the will, whatever hang-up is spoiling your enjoyment of life…

… but the simplest way to attain lasting happiness is to let your dumb-ass desires drift away, and get jiggy with who you are now, and what you’ve got to work with.

It’s kind of Zen, and it takes effort to get there.  But it’s worth it.

You can’t be happy all the time, but you can actually enjoy the down times, too, once you change your basic orientation from “I wish” to “Here I am”.  Some of the most satisfied people I know are butt-ugly trolls who have learned that natural beauty is fraught with negative side effects (and not worth pursuing)…

… and that, at the end of the day, what really counts is what you bring to the table in terms of being a quality human being.

I’ve known a MOB of successful people in my career (including many of the most famous and infamous “bigger than life” legends in business).  I’ve been friends with them, been let in behind the scenes, and hung out long enough to see behind the mask.

And I wouldn’t want to spend 5 minutes inside any of their skins, ever.  I like who I am, with all my faults and all my regrets and all my inherent stupidity.  I fit well inside my own skin.

And — though it took a VERY long time — I earned my place in the world.  Really earned it.  Nothing happened from wishing, or cheating, or relying on luck.

Naw.  I blundered my way into the Feast of Life.  Utterly fucked things up along the ride… but kept learning from mistakes, kept cleaning up my messes and fixing what I broke when I could, kept trying and growing and staying true to the goals that resonated with me.  That’s all I had going for my sorry ass.

We’re all pathetically flawed.  All of us, from James Bond on down through your neighbor who just bought the new Jag (and won’t stop gloating about the deal he got).

Nobody gets out of here unscathed.  You can’t live without making mistakes and stepping on toes.

And yes, sometimes you will get too big for your britches, when you’re going for the gusto.  When it happens, buy new ones.

Stay frosty (and true to yourself),

John

P.S. My recent reads include the autobiographies of Keith Richards and Christopher Hitchens.  Keith’s may be the best-written of all-time — he’s a brilliant storyteller, used a writer who knew him for decades to help collect his thoughts coherently… and he is tough on himself.  Hitch bares all, but can be a bit long-winded.

The key to biographies is NOT to settle old scores, or try to spin your existence so your legacy looks better.  Screw that nonsense.

The key is to spill the beans, relentlessly.  Lift up your mask, raise the curtain on your demons, cop to your trespasses.  And share the juicy details. The story is not the broad overview, but the detail.  You lived it, dude.  I wasn’t there.

What happened?

P.P.S. What biographies or autobiographies have you liked?

And let us know, in the comment section here, how you’ve handled envy (good or bad) in your life.  Along with the realization that your fellow passengers on this whirling planet are one scary-ass species…

Wednesday, 12:53pm
Reno, NV
“I’m busy 24 hours a day, I fix broken hearts, I know that I truly can…” (Del Shannon, “Handyman”)

Howdy.

Today, I want to share with y’all a simple pro-level tactic that just might change your career path forever… if, like most entrepreneurs out there, you’re laboring under a huge and common misunderstanding of how things work in the real world.

Here’s the problem: Most folks only see the surface of the culture, and seldom get to peek behind the curtain to see the infrastructure that supports everything.

Now, if you’re stumbling through life as a slacker or a follower… just bobbing to and fro like flotsam… then learning how stuff gets created isn’t important.

But entrepreneurs do not have that luxury. Once you take responsibility for the survival of a business, you better get hip to the Big Picture.

This means understanding the process of arriving at a finished product. Which requires rolling up your sleeves and getting dirty (or virtually dirty, in the digital world).

Here’s the quick tale of how I was introduced to this realization: Back in school, I was that doodling kid who just kept getting better at it… until one day the journalism teacher found one of the endless homemade comic books I was pumping out, and insisted I create a weekly cartoon for the high school newspaper.

Now, I loved the comics page in the local rag (the LA Times). The idea of drawing a comic strip of my own, however, was terrifying. I didn’t have a clue how they were actually made. Up to that point, I drew only in pencil, on big sheets of scrap paper, with no limits to sizing or length. Now, suddenly, I had to work in ink, inside a 3-inch by 4-column format.

And meet a deadline.

In retrospect, I should have just hit up the art teacher for tips on producing a cartoon in a publication. Or called up the local “real” newspaper and ask a production artist how it’s done.

But I had never had to research anything before. Like most American kids, I had spent my youth tearing things apart, not building them. I’d never asked anyone how something was done, ever. I just figured it all out for myself, in my own idiosyncratic way, thinking that’s how it had to happen. You “should” be able to figure everything out.

It’s a flaw in our brains.

Back then, the hard part of doing a weekly cartoon was coming up with jokes that fit into a four-panel format. But what consumed the most time was producing the final strip. I bought a double-aught nib in a wooden holder at the crafts store, plus a big bottle of India ink. And I drew veeeeeeery carefully…

… because I believed that published cartoons were drawn that way. You know, that Charles Schultz just sat down and inked out a Peanuts strip from left to right.

And if I made a mistake…

… I was screwed. Had to start over on a fresh sheet of paper.

Now, I’m a slow learner. Really slow. I drew freehand for two years in high school, and then for another two years in college (when the editor of the paper discovered I could draw and tricked me into doing a Zap Comix-like strip in the UC Davis Cal Aggie).

It was painful to work in ink like that, knowing any mistake meant starting over.

And then I finally took a class in commercial art.

D’oh! I learned that (a) pro cartoonists and illustrators worked in “blue” pencil first (which doesn’t show up when the art is photographed for final printing)… so they could be as messy as they wanted as they built up the art to final form and inked it…

… and (b) they worked in a very large format, using many different sizes of mechanical pens, and shrunk the art to the final size photographically only after they were done (which also shrinks small mistakes and makes for a very “clean” look)…

… while (c) using all kinds of white paint, cut-out slivers of masking tape, and pasted-on corrections in the process… so the actual art (before it was photographed) looked like a triage patient from a plane crash. And yet NONE of the fixes, additions, corrections and sloppy blue-line noodling showed up when the cartoon was printed.

This just blew my mind.

All of this equipment and know-how was readily available at the newspapers I’d worked for. I’d just never asked. The editors relied on blue pencils and stet cameras and paste-up magic… every page was a mess as it headed to final art.

This simple discovery caused something critical to snap in my brain.

I was finally FREED from the shackles of self-imposed perfectionism. I could draw as loosely as I wanted to, populate or depopulate the art with characters on a whim, and I never had to start over from scratch no matter how ugly my mistakes were. I could fix anything.

This was a freaking revelation that helped me transform myself into a high-level freelance copywriter almost immediately after launching my career.

How? By applying the same tactic of “building up” my ads, rather than trying to create something perfect on the first draft.

The majority of entrepreneurs I counsel believe, at first, that when writing their own advertising they need to start with the headline and progress logically through the copy to the final pitch.

I know where that belief comes from, too. The ads they see in the wild are finished products. All the work that went into creating that finished product is invisible. There’s no “infrastructure” to an ad, no curtain to peek behind once it’s posted or printed.

So, for Lesson One, I make it clear that all top writers build up ads, rather than just write them out in a single burst of inspiration.

For example: I almost NEVER write the headline first. I write out the BULLETS first… because good bullets fuse the features and benefits of a product, and that gives you deeper insight to what’s good about the thing and how it will affect your prospect.

And… I write pages and pages of bullets. Most of them will never find their way into the final ad. I write them out sloppily, then go back and rewrite them. And rewrite them again a day later. And toss some, bring in new ones, merge and split others. Again and again and again, right up until the deadline.

When I feel ready to write a headline… because after all those bullets, I’m now totally conversant with the inner workings of the gig (both technically and emotionally)… I start slamming a bunch out, just ripping through basic “how to” models to get the juices flowing. (I always recommend you start with a “how to” type of headline, and just write out what you’re offering to the reader.)

It is not unusual for me to write up 50 or more different angles of headlines, and massage them all through multiple drafts. Then, set the mess aside. Don’t choose one yet.

Instead, while getting “cold” on the heads (by not thinking about them for a day or two) I’ll either work on the opening paragraph (very crucial, because you’re doing the hard work of dragging your reader into your copy) or the final “here’s what you need to do now” part of the pitch.

The point is this: Early drafts are a mishmash of sections, in various states of being finished, over a period of time… and to the uninitiated eye, the whole thing looks like a house torn apart before being remodeled. Total chaos.

The “art” of creating a finished ad is in the final stages where everything is dovetailed together. And rewritten to be a smooth, greased ride for the prospect (who, when you’ve done it right, will climb onboard at the headline and not be able to leave the ad until he arrives, breathless and shaking with desire, at the order form).

Just get over your bad self. No one who writes ads for a living starts with the headline and just writes it all down from there, perfect and ready to go. And if the pro’s don’t do it that way, you shouldn’t either.

Perfectionism sucks. The finished product may approach a sort of awesomeness, but it’s almost never “perfect”. Even top Hollywood directors known for producing lush, slick, technically-seamless movies (Ridley Scott and James Cameron come to mind) GET to that final point through years of prep and detail and misfires.

The key to good marketing is understanding how some parts are cobbled together, while other parts are burnished to a craftsman’s shine over time… and learning to follow the same guidelines when doing it yourself.

Realizing that final products are often attained by knowing how to FIX mistakes made me fearless about being creative. And about being productive — I was freed from the sense that I had to know precisely what I was doing or where I was going before I began any project…

… and, instead, I just got busy immediately and never hesitated to make mistakes or wander off into dark alleys (metaphorically speaking, of course). Because going from inception to finished product is NEVER a straight, clean line.

Go get messy.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. The comments section is open, if you want to share your own tale of discovery related to becoming successful.

And the best thing I hear from entrepreneurs is when some piece of advice finally rams home, and that “a-HA!” moment happens. I know the next time I hear from them, they’ll be wearing success like a pro…

(Photo credit: Cindy Shine)