Sunday, 9:08pm
Reno, NV
“Hit me.  Hit me again.  Again.  Arrrgh…” (Blackjack dude going down…)

Howdy.

One of the truly fun parts of being in business are the Life Lessons you get to learn.

Or, rather, you’re forced to learn (if you don’t want to spend your career blundering down the same blind alleys time after time).

Early on, I took notice of the various quirks people exhibited running a business… especially the entrepreneurs, who were unencumbered with the rule books that franchise owners and traditional corporations worked under.

Now, you’ll see startling examples of strangeness in any group of humans, doing anything, anywhere.  So the first lesson is probably to acknowledge that reality…

… and stop pretending we’re a race of logical, rational, functional beings going about the business of running a civilization efficiently and sanely.

We’re not.

And savvy, experienced biz veterans survive by learning to work within the limitations that come with dealing with other humans.

It’s actually one of the more fun parts of entering the biz world, once you get a handle on the basics of how spectacularly humans can screw something up.

Don’t get me wrong — I love people.  But I love them in spite of their near-consistent tendencies to botch things completely.  (I’m by no means above the fray).  (No one is.  Scratch the surface of the most “together” person you now, and you’ll find evidence of shocking weirdness.)

The reason little insights like these are so awesome, is that they can help you stay balanced… especially as deals go down and projects catch fire.

Some of the better lessons are cliches… but you’ve got to remember that they ARE cliches because they’re on-target (even though they may seem counter-intuitive).

For example, just yesterday I got to re-learn a fundamental lesson I’ve had to re-learn over and over again through the years:  No Good Deed Goes Unpunished.

Especially in business.  When you bend over backwards to help someone out… do not be surprised to have your selfless actions come back to bite you in the butt.

(In this latest episode, I over-delivered like crazy during a consultation with a rookie marketer… and just piled on the excellent advice, even dictating the exact copy he should use on his website.  Results: He asked for a refund for the consultation.  Just couldn’t fit all that primo advice into his newbie brain.)

(It’s like the old joke:  A woman approaches a firefighter who is drenched, shivering and huddled in a blanket.  “Are you the man who jumped into the freezing river to save my little boy when he fell through the ice?” she asks.  He nods.  And she says “Well, where are his mittens?”)

Another nugget: When you’re dealing with a client or potential biz associate…

… and he says “Money is no problem“…

… then you may rest assured that money is VERY much a problem.

In fact, every single time I’ve heard this comment uttered in my direction, it has been an omen of financial chaos to come. (And I’ve been doing this for decades now.)

To an experienced shrink (or an experienced cop), this is barely shrug-worthy, as far as revelations about human behaviors go.

Heck, ANY definitive statement offered by someone during a conversation with money on the line…

… elevates it to standard “mirror image” doubt.  (Fair warning given to freelancers, consultants, potential affiliates, people on the dating scene, and anyone making a bet: Take absolutely nothing said at face value in any conversation concerning moolah…

… and it’s a good starting point to consider the very real possibility that the opposite is true.)

People fudge the numbers in almost every instance when their ego or self-image is in play.  When discussing income with Players, you can pretty much cut any initial number offered up by the other guy in half, right off the top.  (When discussing past sexual partners — so I’ve been told — you can divide what a guy says by 3, and multiply what a woman says by 3.  Is this true?)

None of this means you get to run around yelling “GOTCHA!” at people, and challenging them on fiscal data (or intimate scorecards).

Not at all.

Rather, like a good poker player, you just keep your own math and your own insights safely inside your head…

… and do what you can to verify.  (That was a clever Bill Clinton phrase: “Trust, but verify“.)  (And he was talking about nuclear weapons treaties, I believe, not sexual dalliances.)  (It’s still a great operative phrase when you’re in a situation where you need to trust the other guy at least a bit in order to move ahead with the deal.)

Ah, poker.

Here’s the big insight I just re-realized while watching The World Series of Poker (which got me going on this blog post in the first place):

I love poker.  First, it’s a game of chance with multiple layers of skill, and that appeals to me.  Second, there’s a HUGE amount of psychology to the higher levels of play…

… and that fascinates me.

Third: Like many things, poker is a sweet little drama that mimics life in general.

Winners and losers… hopes and dreams (both the crushed and realized types)… risks and rewards and dangers and traps… the glory and the agony behind every shuffle.

And not all of the insights are subtle, either.

In fact, the most FUN stuff is way up there with Shakespearean tragedy.

In the opening sessions of the 2010 WSP (on ESPN, and thanks, Chad, for keeping it interesting), we have been treated to SEVERAL of the so-called “best players in the world” getting bitch-slapped by Lady Luck.

It’s worth stalking the reruns to see how this plays out in real time.

And just like the wise dudes long ago noted, “pride goeth before a fall”.

You see these poker stars start out cocky (as well they should be, since they are the best in the world, and the rest of their tablemates are mere mortals).

Then they get rueful, as the losses mount… but they don’t panic.  Yet.

Instead, they double-down on their cockiness…

… and slip ever-so-gently into what card players call “Full Tilt”.

Often within a very short period of time, the cockiness is replaced by a seething rage…

… rage at the other players, at the universe, at the cards, at everything within reach.

And once in the damp, nightmarish embrace of a Full Tilt, they go completely bonkers. And start betting wildly and inappropriately, acting much like King Canute ordering the waves to stop breaking on the shore (good luck with that, Kingie)…

… actually challenging the cards to go against Everything Good And Right (which includes them, because they are the best in the world), which of course the cards would never do, right, because, really, the only fair and correct outcome here is for me, the Recognized Poker Hero, to overcome the odds that afflict lesser peasants and win, win, win…

It’s great theater watching the Full Tilt boogie in action.

Big ending, usually, too, with tears, the thrashings of now-impotent rage (cuz all their chips are gone), and that loooooooooong walk across the floor (with ESPN tailing you) to the Loser’s Exit.

The first time I saw this in a poker tournament, I instantly realized how RELEVANT the entire Full Tilt menu was to business.  And politics.  And even interpersonal relationships.

The one big certainty that the “best” at anything tend to forget… is that when you’re still playing, you’re only as good as your last action.

The best copywriters, entrepreneurs, marketers, affiliates, launch managers, deal makers and heart-breakers in the world…

… can, and do, fail on occasion.  There are no guarantees in life, ever…

… and resting on your laurels is probably the WORST “action plan” you could have going into a project.

The most vicious humiliation I’ve ever witnessed was hearing a legendary marketer reduced to explaining to people how good he was… despite the little disaster he’d just engineered with his lazy cockiness and refusal to perform the due diligence required of the job.

NOBODY gets rewarded in this world because of “who” you are.

Nope.  Right up until that last shuffle before lights-out, you are only as good as the way you play the game in front of you.

Veterans talk so much about self-awareness — and a general Zen-like attitude to dealing with life — because it’s the only defense against going on Full Tilt you’ve got.

Those pokers players do it, every year, like clockwork, on TV during the biggest games of their careers…

… because they’re only human.

And it is our nature, as humans, to fly off the tracks under stress.

However, it is NOT your “destiny” to go on Full Tilt.  It is one of many options we can choose to take.

It’s just that, unless you understand yourself on a deep level, you won’t realize you HAVE a choice when the weirdness descends and your brain goes “boing, boing, boing“.

Pay attention.  Learn your chops, get good at what you do, and soak up everything you can from the grizzled guys with experience.

And heed their warnings.

Cuz the next dance on your card may be one nasty little boogie.

I dunno.  What do YOU think?

(And isn’t that just the cutest damn photo up top you’ve ever seen?  Get it?  Dogs playing Texas Hold ‘Em poker with milk bones?  Staying in on a 2-7 against a blossoming royal?

Man, it was tough getting the little darlin’ to pose for that one…)

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Just a reminder, too… that I’m speaking at James Schramko’s spectacular Web-focused seminar down in Sydney, Australia, in a few weeks.

I’m recommending you check it out, even if you have no intention of flying to Oz to catch the fiesta.  Click here for more info:

Your Excellent Australian Adventure

Schrak still has lots of awesome free videos up on that site (including a sizzling interview with me) on the truly essential secrets of making a biz work online these days.  (Cuz, you know the entire marketing scene has been going through earthquake-level changes for months now… and will continue to mutate until the ONLY way to really make the Web produce for you will be through the resources you discover now, during this period of adjustment.)

And if you can make it, do it.

The best resources you ever have will be the network you develop with like-minded entrepreneurs… especially those who are adept at making the fundamentals work (so you’re never dependent on gimmicks or fads or schemes where you’re a slave to anyone else).

That’s why I’m headed down under.  I had zero hesitation when Schrak asked me to attend.  This is the good stuff.

Just check it out.  There’s no obligation or anything.

Monday, 11:34pm
Visalia, CA
“I never drink… wine.“  (Bela Lugosi, “Dracula”)

Howdy.

Special treat today.  I’ve asked an old friend (and killer copywriter) to guest post on the blog here.

Jim Curley and I go way back (to, gasp, Before The Birth Of The Internets As A Marketing Force)…

… and he’s one of those Web-hip veteran copywriters who brings a healthy dose of old-school wisdom and experience to everything he does.  He’s well steeped in all the manly markets (golf, self-defense, hot rod body artwork, family life, vampires, stuff like that).  I’ve had him as a wingman at multiple seminars, and I’ve hired him as a writer for my own projects.

That’s how good he is.

I didn’t give Jimbo any directions on what he could write about, either.  I trust the guy completely…

… and just told him to dig into one of the subjects he and I enjoy talking and bitching about when we get together.

This is a good lesson Jim’s sharing with you.

Enjoy… and don’t be shy about posting a comment afterward.  We’ve had some spectacular comment threads over the past year in this blog.  Always good to hear from y’all.

Here’s Jimbo:

Thanks for the intro, John.

I’ve got a couple important “street marketing” lessons for everyone here… so let’s just get right into it.

The first one I’ll call:

“Who the hell are YOU talking to?”

Now before I go any further, you should know that I’ve been a copywriter and marketer for over 25 years… and have been working with John Carlton for about 15 of those years.

It continues to be a humbling experience.

Just about the time I get pleased with my writing and the voices begin to whisper “oh, you are sooo good“…

… John blindsides me with some deep insight… kernel of wisdom…

… or shocking zinger of truth that slams me back into reality.

As a lifelong dedicated writer, of course, you love this kind of interaction.  It forces you to stay nimble… and ALWAYS keep your eyes and ears open.

And that is what these street marketing lessons are all about. Subtle observations and interesting truths about marketing and sales…

… gleaned from the real world…

… where prospects and customers are living, breathing, complex and fascinating.

Okay… the first lesson I’ll tell you about hit me after I saw the movie “Eclipse”.

If you’re not familiar with the whole “Twilight” series of books and movies, don’t worry…

… it only means you’re deeply out of touch with what every teen and pre-teen girl in the industrial world has been swooning over for the last two years.

But before you peg me as some sort of girlie-man, let me be clear:

It was my 16 year old granddaughter who dragged me to this movie!

She did it partly because she loves me… and partly because I was paying.

(Quick personal note: Yes, I’m just 50-years-old, and I’ve got FIVE grandkids.  It’s the result of some very fertile DNA.  And let’s leave it at that.)

Back to the story: In a nutshell, the movie is based on a series of books written by Stephanie Myers about “Edward”, a sexy-sexy vampire…

…who’s madly in love with the awkward and not-so-terribly-beautiful main character, “Bella”.

And then there’s the hot, often shirtless werewolf “Jacob”, who’s also in love with Bella. And he’s so very-very buff… and so jealous of the sexy-sexy Edward.

And the werewolves… and vampires… and essentially all the beautiful people of the world are soon fighting for the attention and love of this plain and clumsy teenage girl.

Oh, it’s a scene man.

However…

Here’s where the fun part starts:

The day after seeing this movie, I read a review of “Eclipse” written by AP’s David Germain… a guy who’s probably very much like me (eats too much red meat, grapefruit-sized prostate, and who’s starting to have serious issues with wire-like hair growing out of his ears).

His review read: “…while ‘Eclipse’ may not be dreadfully dumb, it’s still pretty dumb.”

“Pretty dumb”… for WHO? Him?

Seems that Germain doesn’t understand that the recently-filthy-rich producers of this movie series couldn’t give a rat’s-ass what a middle-aged man thinks.

Hollywood is in the business of SELLING movies… and like any smart business person, their first big question has got to be:

“Who the hell are we targeting?“

Because you can’t target “everyone” (duh).  So those clever movie execs started this whole process in some boardroom… wringing their hands and looking at the stats.

“Hmmm…” they intoned, scanning charts.  “Look at this:  Pubescent girls raging with hormones are in charge of billions of dollars of discretionary spending…

“Hey!  You think maybe THAT may be a good target market?”

Perhaps these young teen females could relate to this story of a klutzy and not-so-attractive girl…

…who has two groping, shirtless, super-hunks fighting over her while her entire high-school… indeed the rest of the known world… watches on in breathless envy.

Yes… just perhaps that may work.

Granted… like Germain, I too thought the movie was silly.  But that’s not the point.

My 16-year-old grand-daughter LOVED it. She was swept away… saw the movie at least five more times…

… joined some scary “Team Jacob” gang…

…and plastered her life with “Twilight” stickers, shirts, posters, notebooks, etc.

And THAT is the point.

From the perspective of a marketer, the people behind the “Twilight Series” are friggin’ geniuses.

They absolutely nailed it… and managed to tap into millions of fans and millions in sales. Something like $100 million and counting.

How’s that for a “dumb movie”?

So what am I driving at?

What does this have to do with YOUR marketing?

Just this: MOST of the business people and entrepreneurs that I’ve worked with over the years are a little (and sometimes a lot) like this Germain cat.

They don’t quite “get” how important it is to have the “WHO” part of their marketing figured out right from the get-go.

And it is the “WHO” — more than any other element — that is the difference between huge fortune and utter failure!

Really.

And you can’t just INVENT a convenient answer to this “Who the hell are YOU talking to?” question either.

Nope.  It can’t be made-up… or based on theory or guesswork.

Look: I write for the same self-defense company John worked with for many years.

So let’s do a quick exercise here… and see if we can’t “wing-it” and figure out WHO should be the best target of their fighting products.

It’ll be fun, I swear.

Let see… hmmm… who NEEDS a self defense product?

Well, it would be the weakest among us of course. Perfectly logical.

And women are certainly physically weaker than men, in most cases.

And women, sadly, are often the target of violence… and sexual attacks.

And it’s typically younger women who are assaulted in that fashion… and they will certainly never want to be attacked again… and maybe they’re even looking for some sweet revenge.

There we go… I think we have it.

Our target — the people we will be directing our message and all of our valuable marketing resources — will be women, 18-45, who have likely suffered some sort of assault or violent attack and perhaps are seeking a chance to deliver some serious “payback”.

Sound good? Sure it does…

Makes perfect sense.

Let’s buy up some magazine space in Better Homes and Garden and Women’s Day.

We’ll hunt down a broker and purchase a mailing list… hire a copywriter… print up a million mailers. Get our Google campaign cranked up and pay a Web geek to build a site and maximize SEO.

One minor problem, however…

… and I can prove this:  The customers of self-defense products are almost 100% MEN.

Women, for whatever reason — even though they may desperately need this kind of a product — simply do not buy “how to fight” instructional materials.

And the best sales message in the world won’t persuade them to do so.  We’ve tried.  You may get some minor action, but it will never be a home-run marketing campaign.

See what guesswork gets you?

Imagine running down THAT blind alley for any period of time. It’s the kind of thing that can put you out of business… quick.

So you MUST perform your due diligence… and research blogs, books, magazines, websites and especially competitors — just to get a vague idea of WHO you are talking to.

After that, as you develop a customer base, you will need to continually refine your targeting.

Which brings me to my next lesson…

“How To Kill Nazi Zombies.”

Bear with me… this will all tie together in one neat little bow.

This lesson popped into my head while playing the gruesome video-game “Nazi Zombies” with my 15-year-old grandson.  (Yes, all these lessons are inter-generational revelations.)

Briefly: The gist of the video game is that you’re trapped in a blown-out building during World War II… while Nazi zombies are trying to climb through the windows and eat you.

Your job is to use the available weapons to kill them first.

Problem was, it was ME getting killed while my grandson continued to survive… and ring-up massive points… and chuckle while I was being torn apart and eaten.

I didn’t want to be torn apart and eaten.

So I quickly figured out where I was going wrong.

Turns out that while I was using a measly .22 pistol and pumping a full 6 body-shots to get a kill…

… my uber-smart grandson runs over to a special weapons locker and grabs a scoped-rifle and kills zombies with just ONE shot… to the head.

My point is this: Many entrepreneurs and business owners are selling products and making some money…

… but MOST still haven’t figured out the “sweet spot” of their target market… where profits are easier and faster and more efficient to bring in.

Instead, they’ve settled permanently into a comfort zone… and are using the equivalent of a poorly-aimed .22 pistol as their marketing campaign.

It works “okay”… so why change?

Well, because it means you’re very likely leaving stacks of money on the table… that’s why you should change.

Oh yeah… and the zombies are closing in for the kill.

Which brings me back to the Twilight series.

Do you think Stephanie Myers analyzed the market, ran that stats, and determined that young teen girls were such a lucrative market that she would write a series of Twilight books just to go after their money?

No. She wrote the books in her apartment, after a vivid dream, with zero market planning.

But when the books began to sell… smart people in Hollywood suspected she was on to something. That she had somehow touched a nerve… hit the sweet-spot…

… and they rightly smelled millions.  (Fill in your own note here about Hollywood execs having a lot in common with vampires.)

And this “find the sweet spot” exercise is exactly what YOU have to do.

Even if you’re making damn good money right now, I’m betting that you didn’t do months of tough market research to see if you’ve maxed-out your potential.

That’s okay.  You’ve winged a zombie with your .22… and now it’s time to grab the scoped rifle.

Now it’s time to pinpoint your customers’ little g-spot.

Quick Tip From A Grizzled Pro: One of the most foolproof ways to find that sweet-spot is to actually spend time analyzing your customers.

Where do they live? How old are they? What do they like most about your product? What do they think you can improve?

Spend an afternoon… or a couple of afternoons… and look for patterns.

Sound like a hassle? Well, when your efforts start to double and triple your income… suddenly it doesn’t seem so much of a hassle.

Of course some questions can’t be answered by looking at a database of customer stats. So here’s a big idea:

Ask your customers!

Use an “ASK campaign”. Start one right away and see what your customer really want. And where you may be doing things right… and wrong.

It’s actually very easy, and their answers will likely shock you — prompting the development of laser-targeted products and sales messages.

This is where your competitors start to hate and fear you.

And family and friends begin to believe you have some kind of Midas touch.

That’s fine… let them believe that.

As long as YOU don’t start believing it… and allow those siren voices to convince you to relax… that you’ve got it all figured out… and that it’s time to stop being curious about how you can better serve your customers.

That, my friend, is how you’ll be torn apart and eaten by those annoying Nazi zombies.

Welcome to the game.

For better marketing…

Jimmy Curley

Sunday, 10:19pm
Reno, NV
“There are eight million stories in the naked city…” (Jules Dassin film noir classic)

Howdy.

Here’s a nice little piece of insight for writers.

And by “writers”, I’m referring to those ink-stained wretches (of whom I share a proud bond) who really care about the craft of writing.  For whom the act of stringing words together is — when done right — a sacred thing.

You can make a living as a hack writer (meaning: Someone who can communicate through writing, but who neither loves language nor attempts to create phrases with rhythm or dynamics or craft).

Most of the best-selling novelists these days are complete hacks, in fact.  (Talkin’ to you, Dan Brown.)

Metaphor Alert: If you need a comparison to understand what I’m talking about, let’s take the mastering of a musical instrument.  What’s the difference between the dude who noodles away at a guitar for decades but never plays for anyone… and the guy who steps on a bar stage to cover a Cream tune… and Eric Clapton?

Answer: The first dude can’t even call himself a guitarist (and wouldn’t dream of it, unless he loves mockery).

The second guy is a hack.  No shame, and we need these guys to keep live music rocking in the free world. (And, with Auto-Tune software, we’re hearing more and more hacks enter the slipstream of popular music.)  (Hey, I’m an accomplished hack at this very thing — been playing at biker bars for decades.)

The third is Eric.  Now, he’s a guitarist.  Lives, breathes and dreams the instrument, and learned the craft at a master’s level.  Put in 10,000 hours of practice as a teenager, and never let up.  (Don’t you DARE think he somehow came upon his skills “naturally” or easily.  He worked at it.)

So, yeah, if all you wanna do is use writing to reach a goal… like, say, getting filthy rich and famous… then by all means, aspire to hackdom with your writing.  Thumbs up from this corner, and more power to ya.

Being “good enough” can take you far.

However…

Just as a small number of people burn with a desire to become an entrepreneur (an ember that never sparks in most folks)…

… if you truly care about writing — and I mean TRULY care, to the point that the crap ground out by the endless mob of bad writers out there actually grates against your brain — then, first, know that you are in a minority.

Do not expect appreciation of your dedication to the craft… except from other writers who know damn good writing when they see it.

I’m the first person to tell up-and-coming freelancers not to obsess on the “writing” part of becoming a freelancer.  Get good enough to get the job done, but do not overlook the other important aspects of the career — like in-depth marketing savvy, knowing how to deal with clients, mastering street-level psychology, and all the other skills in your Bag O’ Tricks that will make you a well-rounded and wealthy freelancer.

On the other hand…

If the standard advice for the wannabe damn-good writer (”Writers write”) sounds just fine to you… then maybe you actually have some ink in your veins.

I can pin your ears back with advice about progressing in the craft.

Today, though, let’s just discuss one of the more important fundamentals:  Storytelling.

The human brain is hard-wired to seek out and appreciate good storytelling.  Before the Web, before TV, before newspapers, before writing even existed…

… all knowledge was shared through stories.  Myths, fables, reports from the field, riveting tales shared over a damp mug of mead…

… a story would be told, memorized, and told again generation after generation.  The super-awesome ones still exist today (in archetypal plots like Romeo & Juliet offshoots, the Grimm Bros. folk tales, most comic books, all Hollywood movies, and even the urban myths now circulating online).

Some carried forbidden information (pre-Civil War hymns like “Follow The Drinking Gourd” were plausibly maps for escaped slaves) (the drinking gourd referred to the Little Dipper constellation, which would lead you north to free states as you traveled by night).

Others were complex morality tales (no such thing as a free lunch, Hansel.  Gretel, you listening?).  Most reinforced the rules of living amongst your group, by identifying the outsiders and establishing the requirements for bravery and acceptance.

All the great propaganda masters and influence peddlers understood the power of a story to trump the truth.  (Like Goebbels, Lenin, D.W. Griffith, Walter Winchell, and several modern-day politicians I can’t mention, because their bullshit still coats the thinking parts of too many folks’ brains.)

You know why successful scam artists are called “Con Men”?  The “con” comes from “confidence” — they weave believable stories so well that otherwise right-thinking people fall for them, convinced that up is now down, and black is now white.

Of course, stories are used for good, too.  It’s just easier to illustrate the power of a story with the evil examples.

Hey — are you in a committed relationship with a little snuggle bunny you dearly love?  At some point, you both created a story starring yourselves… which made so much sense, that you agreed to live out the script in real time.

Ask Mom how she met Dad.  She’ll tell you a story.

In fact, ask anyone how they got to where they’re at right now.  The job, the haircut, the town to live in, the car they drive, the last vacation they took…

… they’ve got a story about it.

We are, each one of us, the stories we tell.

And what we buy, and how we choose our goals, are deeply intertwined with stories.

Now, here’s the kicker: Just because humans are front-loaded with a love of stories…

… doesn’t mean you’re automatically able to tell a good one.

In fact, most folks suck at storytelling.  Just like they’d suck at anything they didn’t work at.  Fishing, playing guitar, climbing rocks, grooming a dog, creating a business plan, dancing the Watusi, whatever…

… just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you’re good at it yet.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and make a wild guess:  You’ve been bored, before, by someone telling a lame story.

Of course you have.  We all have.

And wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone who told a boring story realized it, and then studied the craft of storytelling so they would never bore you again like that?

We can only dream.

I was lucky.  I was the baby (youngest by 8 years) in a family crammed with storytellers.  I learned early that… unless I learned to pepper my tales of childhood adventure with enough tidbits (or scary parts) to interest the adults… I would be interrupted, ignored or at best tolerated at the dinner table yarn-fests.

So I paid attention to how really good stories played out.  This was during the late 50s, where Saturday afternoons were spent devouring truly awful sci-fi movies, and where your prowess as a storyteller on the playground could instantly elevate your social status.

You gotta tailor your tale to your audience.  That’s the primary lesson.

A story that bores the bejesus out of one person, may dazzle the hell out of someone else.  And you should get good at knowing whether you’re bombing or scoring quickly (so you can change course if necessary).

Those bad sci-fi movies were cinematic masterpieces to us.  As a kid, we knew the payoff was coming (usually a monster).

As an adult, I can only watch those films as kitsch now — the plot holes gape, the lack of logic appalls… and while I finally understand why they always starred some busty babe in the cast, the romance is goofy at best.

So the main rule for writer/marketers is this: Learn what kind of story appeals to your audience.  If you don’t know, you’re taking a risk with anything other than a paragraph-long tale.

Don’t pretend to know how to weave a story that gets listened to.  Instead, learn the craft.  (Just as you would never pretend to be able to play guitar if you wanted to impress real musicians.)

There are no shortcuts… but you can get hip to good storytelling fairly quickly if you apply yourself.

Don’t rely on books. There are some decent ones out there, and go ahead and read them.  (”How To Write A Damn Good Novel”, Jim Frey.  “Man & His Myths”, Carl Jung.  Search “how to write a good story” on Google and follow up on two or three of the suggestions.)

No more than that, though.  There aren’t that many elements to storytelling.  Get the basics, then move on.

Because book-learnin’ won’t get your chops honed.

You gotta start talking.

Every time you wake up and survive the day and get back home, you’ve got a story to tell.  Maybe not an epic adventure, but shit happened to you.  And you did things, sometimes wrong, sometimes right, and you were often surprised or alarmed or excited about the outcomes.

Unless you live in a Unabomber-style cave, you know people who tell stories.  Start critically breaking down what you hear, both the good ones and the bad ones.

Consider how to improve the sucky ones, and figure out what made the rockin’ ones rock.

Learn to edit yourself viciously. The best verbally-delivered stories are fast and furious.  Trim away all irrelevant details.  (And learn to spot irrelevant details quickly as you’re speaking.  If it doesn’t matter whether it was Tuesday or Monday you saw the UFO, then don’t waste time trying to establish the day.)

In fact, it’s the “set up” part of telling a story that trips most people up.  Consider the classic “two ducks walk into a bar” joke storyline.  Is it important that it’s a bar and not a library?  Sometimes.  But it’s almost NEVER relevant what kind of bar it is, what town it’s in, who else is in the bar, what time of day it is, what the weather is, etc.

Two ducks walk into a bar.  That’s enough.  Move on to the next act — the interaction with the bartender.  Act Three is the punchline.

A good story doesn’t have to be funny.  Or even entertaining.  But they ALL deliver some form of information.  The classic “I was broke, I discovered a way to make money, and now I’m rich and famous” storyline is so common in advertising BECAUSE it’s a short, understandable plot that nearly all audiences can identify with.

It’s just a set up, however.  Good for you, surviving all that nastiness and turning your life around.

If you want to hold my interest, however, you’ve got to segue immediately to what this has to do with me.

Okay, we can discuss storytelling more later.  The ins and outs of the craft aren’t hard to master, once you know what to do.

But you gotta know where you’re at, first, with your ability to weave a rollicking tale.

It’s NOT a natural tool in your kit.  The love of stories and the yearning to be able to tell one is in your DNA, yes.  But actually doing it requires some discipline and dedication to the craft.

How about this: In the comments section below…

… tell us a quick story about something that happened to you in July.

That’s all.  A short tale about some event, or action, or realization, or whatever.

If you’ve already sharpened your skills, you can turn a yarn about cutting the grass into a laugh-fest that makes our bellies ache.

If you’re rusty at it, you can make the story of your DUI arrest after the wedding of your ex (which you attended as an uninvited stalker) a total snoozer.

But don’t be shy.  The first attempts are always the toughest.  Here, you have a community of like-minded people… who care less about the quality of your story, than the fact that you’ve screwed up the courage to write one out here.

C’mon, don’t be a wuss.

Tell us a quick dispatch from your July adventures.  Or non-adventures, doesn’t matter.

Before you can start crafting stories with the mojo to captivate and convert prospects, you gotta be able to tell a simple tale that has no consequences at all.

I’ve done this often during my rare Copywriting Sweatshop seminars.  I tell everyone to go to lunch, and come back with a story.

It’s pretty eye-opening.  Most folks will come back and insist that “nothing” happened, and thus, there was no story to tell.

Well, it’s impossible that “nothing” happened.  If you walked out the door, got knocked unconscious by a falling flowerpot, and didn’t awake until after the lunch break…

… so that LITERALLY you had no sensory awareness or brain function…

… you’d still have a story to relate.  “Dude, I got bonked by a flowerpot out in the hall, and woke up with paramedics about to put the electric shockie things on my chest…”

Et cetera.

Was the waitress rude at the cafe?  Was it surprising that the food was so good (or bad) in the place you went to?  Was the couple in the booth behind you breaking up?  Did you leave thinking “Carlton’s a complete whack-job”, and come back (after talking with other attendees) realizing I’m actually only slightly whacked (and thus tolerable for the duration of the event)?

What HAPPENED?!?

Give it a try.  No one will bite you.

If push past your reluctance (or lack of “natural” skill) to craft stories, you are well on your way to influencing people, winning friends, and getting your sales message across to vast nattering mobs of fresh prospects.

If enough readers here enjoy digging into storytelling details, maybe we’ll explore some other tips later.

Stay frosty,

John

Howdy.

By the time you read this, I’ll be back home in Reno… a better man for having spent a week in San Francisco.

Even though it was all business, I still get invigorated just from hanging out in that city by the bay.  It’s one of the few things California did right (though they’re working hard at ruining it).  (Bastards.)

And while I was gone, the last blog post went freaking bonkers.  Nearly 200 comment posts (most of them well-thought-out and elegantly delivered, too).  (With the occasional funny disruptor, of course.  It wouldn’t be a good Quiz without a big healthy dose of irreverence.)

So, a big “thanks” once again to Robert Gibson (SWS veteran teacher and all-around good dude) for being ring-leader while I was off.

And congratulations to the winner.  Who we’ll announce here in a second.

First, though, let’s clarify what the answer is.

The question was: What’s the 4th big observation about money that changed my life so dramatically… that an avalanche of good stuff followed (including the phat opportunities to work with Gary Halbert)?

Now, let me remind you that this is MY observation.  This is not a hard-and-fast law of nature, like gravity or death and taxes.  It’s what I discovered, and followed through on, early in my career…

… that changed the way I moved through the world at a cellular level.

There were a ton of good answers in the last post, a smattering of nonsense, and a lot of pure guesswork…

… but, as I said, everyone essentially won just by firing up the cognitive process in your brain.  We don’t spend enough time in critical thinking mode.  Giving those muscles a work-out is ALWAYS a good thing.

The answer was, indeed, scoring what I called “Screw You Money” (in one of the several get-your-act-together chapters in “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel”)…

… which is also known as “Fuck You Money” in harsher circles.

Someone even quoted the exact passage from KACS, which I found startling.  I get ripped off a lot, but being actually quoted like that doesn’t happen very often.  Makes me feel all fluttery and embarrassed.

And, of course, the correct answer was nailed in the first flurry of incoming posts.  And multiple folks got it right throughout the threads.

This gives me hope.

Now, a few things must be explained here for the people unfamiliar with the concept.

First, don’t get sidetracked by the harsh language. The concept comes from savvy veterans in the front-line trenches of business… especially salesmen working on commission and entrepreneur-freelancers working without a net.  These dudes know how to turn a memorable phrase.  (And any opportunity to insert filthy shock-words is a big bonus.)

However, the “screw you” part is NOT about being an asshole, or running around with a tough-guy attitude.

It’s quite the opposite, in fact.

By putting aside enough money to take the pressure off having to score an immediate paycheck…

… you simply become more confident…

… and more CHOOSY about who you work with.

When you’re starving, or absolutely depending on that next payday to make the rent, your options are limited.  You will take a job you might turn down in better circumstances…

… or get involved with someone you might otherwise stay away from.

However, when you have a stash set aside to cover your butt, then your options explode.

And, when appropriate, you can say “Best of luck to ya” to any potential gig that rubs you the wrong way… and happily traipse off to go see what else the universe has in the way of adventure.

Tip: While you may imagine it would be joyful to actually say “Go fuck off” to someone who has insulted you, or who is too slimy to work with…

… the truth is that — once you feel real confidence in your life — you never have to utter those words.

It is MUCH more satisfying to rise above petty insults, and to simply say “No”… and move on with your life.

In fact, this subtle, non-aggressive attitude often carries MORE oomph than you can imagine.  Many of the too-rude-to-live psychopaths you’ll encounter in your career got into the business world because they crave power.

And, for most of the folks they deal with, money equals power.

By having the real confidence of being able to turn down a bad biz gig (because you really don’t need the bastard’s money)…

… you take away ALL of his power.

He won’t believe you’re walking away from a payday, and if you’re lucky you’ll get to see him sputter and clutch his evil heart as he struggles to avoid fainting.  Nobody walks away from money.  It’s an outrage.  It’s… it’s…

… it’s turning the world upside down.

And, as you calmly stroll away (never letting the door hit you in the butt), you have the double-treat of enjoying his impotent rage…

… as well as savoring REAL freedom.

You don’t need his money.  You don’t need the grief of that job.  You are (as much as a human can be) in charge of writing the script of your life’s adventure.

No one else — including the government — will give you a safety net anywhere near as powerful as knowing you’ve earned a stash, which is set aside to watch your back.

There are few “rules” to getting this Screw You Money together:

Rule #1: You gotta earn it first.  Which means, if you’re now living paycheck-to-paycheck, you need to start setting aside 20% of everything you make.  I don’t care how much you’re pulling down… if you spend it all, you’re an idiot.  You’re guaranteeing yourself financial slavery.

Learn to save.

Rule #2: The amount you put in this stash is up to you.  I recommend at least 6 months of your nut as a starter amount — so, if you never earned another penny, this dough would cover all the expenses to continue living as you live now.

(Side note: If forced to tap into your stash, you also know you could back off living high on the hog, and stretch it out longer.)

The amount you need is individual, however.  Lots of folks get nervous about a 6-month cushion, and require a deeper safety net.  That’s fine — figure out what you need to feel confident enough to walk away from a bad but well-paid situation and not freak out.

That’s your Screw You Money.

Rule #3: This is where people get confused.

This stash is NOT a savings account.  It’s not a rainy day fund.  It’s not “mad money”.

It is a REAL TOOL for a serious professional.  When you consider the “ammo” you want in your bag of tricks for a great career, confidence is a nuclear bomb.

You “win” when you never touch your Screw You Money. You want to die, peacefully in a comfy bed (with whatever other details you want involved in your Happy Ending), and be able to whisper the location of your stash to your heir, who will be the first person to access it since you put it together.

Got that?  You can’t think of this stash as “money”.  That will confuse you, and you’ll obsess on it…

… and spend it on some “emergency”.

This isn’t money.  It’s a tool.  It’s the support system for your professional confidence.

Don’t put it into investments.  Don’t put it somewhere you can easily access after a few beers (and the inevitable “great idea” that always seems to occur in a bar, late at night).

Figure out where it needs to go hide, so you half forget about it (but still know where it is).

Then go live your life with gusto, and earn so much and have so much fun that you never have to even consider dipping into your Screw You stash.

Live bold, and confident.

Here’s how this tactic affected me: I worked hard, in the first years of my career, to claw my way into the tight little list of writers working with the largest mailers on the planet (like Rodale, Phillips, Agora, etc).

I was climbing the hierarchy with a bullet, and enjoying the ride…

… but I knew there were other adventures out there, too, in biz.

When Gary Halbert started his newsletter back in the mid-80s, I knew I had to pursue a relationship with the dude.  I weaseled my way into the edges of his biz, and liked what I experienced.

With the large mailers, the money was huge…

… but the markets were limited to health and finance.  I was getting bored.

With Halbert, the money was a roller coaster ride (from zero to vast fortunes)…

… and the client base was totally entrepreneurial.  A never-ending adventure filled with whacky people, novel-worthy story-lines, and always The Unexpected.

It could get scary, but never boring.

So I walked away from a gig with the big mailers that was on track to bring in millions…

… and hitched a ride on a new life in the entrepreneur’s lane, with no guarantee at all where we were headed or what was about to happen.

It was one of the easiest decisions I’ve ever made.

And knowing I had my stash set aside made it a no-brainer.  There was zero fear that I was putting my life-style at risk (even though I was taking a HUGE career risk).

It was excellent use of the kind of confidence that comes from Screw You Money.  And I didn’t have to say “Screw you” to anyone.

I just pursued something that sent surges of excitement, exhilaration, and adventure through my veins.

I have no idea how you, or anyone else, will use this tool.

It may never make a big difference for you.

Still, the bed-rock confidence of having it will influence your decisions, big and small.

Especially since most people will never understand this level of confidence, or have a clue how to attain it.

Make sense?

Good.

The winner is the 4th one to comment (Robert made sure I recognized this).  Eric Transue.

Other posters came real close, but Eric nailed it.

Again, great job to everyone who chimed in.

My over-worked assistant, Diane, will be getting in touch with you, Eric, about delivering your prize.

That was fun, wasn’t it.  We’ll have to do it again soon.  I love giving away prizes, when they’re well-earned.

Hope your summer’s going well.

Stay frosty,

John

Wednesday, 8:40pm
Reno, NV
“Money, money, money, money, money, money…” (Cabaret)

Howdy…

Hope you enjoyed the last post, where I offered up 3 observations about moolah.

For this current post, I promised to reveal the 4th observation…

… which is so powerful, it can instantly change the way you move and get things done in the world.

However…

… I’ve just had a sudden urge to get all Socratic here, and ask readers to do some critical thinking before I reveal that 4th observation.

It’s too easy to just toss the really hot wisdom in your lap… and the retention level when you don’t have to think about it first is abysmally low.  I do you a grave disservice by not using the most powerful teaching methods available when I’m sharing the good stuff…

… and the Socratic method — which ignites critical thinking skills by asking questions (and never, ever just gives anything away) — is a proven way to juice up the ol’ brain cells, while being able to see what other folks come up with from their perspective.

In fact, let’s make it a real Quiz.

The first person to chime into the comments section here with the answer I’m looking for… will get a brand-spankin’ new copy of “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel” (complete with audio CDs) as their prize.

That manual (which absolutely belongs on your shelf, if you don’t have it yet) has been used and praised by most of the Big Dogs now operating online…

… and it’s selling, right now, for $299 at www.marketingrebel.com.

That’s a bargain, considering how much life-altering mojo is contained in that thick (but really freaking fun to read) tome.

So… that’s the prize.

Here’s the quiz:

In the previous post, I described this Big Damn Observation #4 as…

… “a cool little tactic that seriously changed my life almost immediately…

… allowing me to become one of the top freelancers in the game…

… and opening up amazing new opportunities (like mentoring with Gary Halbert) that would have never happened otherwise.”

All of that is true.

But here are some more hints:

Big Obvious Hint #1: You probably never heard of this tactic before… unless you’ve known a professional who took you aside and shared it with you.  (I have written about it several times in this blog… and it’s the FIRST “order of business” I share with any copywriter who comes to me for advice.)

This doesn’t mean you can’t figure it out, however… especially with the rest of these hints.

Big Obvious Hint #2: It involves making money work for you after you’ve earned it… but NOT in the way most people think money is “supposed” to work. (Important hint.)

Stew on this for a bit.  And realize that not everyone has similar attitudes toward money.  And that I’m referring to a secret that is used by the best in the biz (but almost completely off-the-radar of most folks).

Big Obvious Hint #3: The amount of money we’re talking about is not chump-change, either.  However, the precise amount depends on you.

To get to the correct answer (if you want the prize), you’re going to have to think hard about the role money plays in your life right now.  About the power it has over your behavior…

… and especially how it influences your life when you’re flush, and when you’re broke.

These are HUGE hints, folks.

I’m just giving the answer away here.

The vast majority of people go through entire careers never understanding how this simple tactic can transform their lives in a heartbeat.

And this is important, too: Most professionals who learn about this tactic…

… dink around and never implement it.

And suffer.  And never attain the high levels of respect and fame that the Big Dogs wallow in.

ALL “A List” professionals use this secret as the cornerstone of their reputations.  Most never discuss it.  Yet, it’s as critical to their career as breathing.

And… that’s enough hints.

Here are the rules of the quiz: Post your answer in the comments section below.

Everyone is invited to give it a go.  There is no limit on submissions.

The first person to nail it gets the prize.  (I’ll have my long-suffering assistant, Diane, contact you for shipping info and we’ll send it over as soon as we can.)

Heck… I’ll even sign the manual.  (That oughta boost the value of it by another dime or so.)

We’ll let this play out for approximately one week.

I’m on the road (hosting our awesome Mastermind Group in San Francisco, if you must know) starting early tomorrow…

… and when I get back, I’ll post the winner, and a few more of my own thoughts on this crucial (and almost ridiculously-powerful) secret of using money to change your life.

While I’m gone, I’ve asked a close colleague of mine — the esteemed Robert Gibson — to hang out in the comments section as my representative…

… to monitor things, and to maybe drop a few teasing hints as he interacts with everyone.

Robert is a veteran teacher in the Simple Writing System coaching program (and has participated in every session we’ve hosted).  He’s smart.  He’s wicked funny.

And you should feel free to interact with him as much as you like.

These quizzes, when they work, are loads of fun…

… and they can force some serious critical-thinking processes to sizzle in people’s heads.

That’s a very good thing.  Strong critical thinking is one of the casualties of the modern world, as too many people insist on always taking the easy road (regardless of how far away from their goals it takes them)… and never developing the discipline required for turning your brain into an asset.

Consider the hints.  Face up to your own relationship with money…

… and see if you can’t figure out what this potent tactic is.

You “win” just by going through the motions, you know.

However, if you’re first with the right answer, you also win the prize.

Ready?  Go…

Tip for getting the most out of this exercise: Think about your answer BEFORE commenting.  Then post your comment… THEN read the other comments.  That way, your thinking won’t be influenced by what other folks post.

I’ll be back here next week with the winner and the answer.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. By the way… I’ll be alerting the folks who follow me on Facebook and Twitter right now, and we’ll send out email alerts as soon as we can about this post.

God knows how long it takes email to show up in your in-box… so if you crave early notification for stuff like this, stop screwing around and join me on Facebook (John Carlton) and Twitter (johncarlton007).

Like most of the hip marketers I know, I’m using Facebook more and more, cuz it’s so easy and immediate and satisfying. (Did you see my photos from the Little Feat concert?)

Anyway… good luck with the quiz.

Sunday, 4:24pm
Reno, NV
“… keep your hands offa my stash…” (Pink Floyd)

Howdy…

Let’s talk about money.

Do you have enough?

Do you know how much “enough” is, for you?

Most folks are pretty clueless about moolah.  They desire it, they fear it, they respect and hate and love it… and they assign all kinds of magical powers to it.

So here are a couple of observations… from a dude who’s been broke, been rich, and seen the awesome potential as well as the destructive nightmares that money can wield:

Big Damn Observation #1: Money really can’t buy you happiness.

But you know what?  It’s still more fun to find this out for yourself, rather than take someone’s word for it.

For me, it was well worth keeping this nugget of wisdom on a note tacked to my office wall.  Because happiness was definitely on my wish list of life-long goals… but so was success.

So I kept track as I moved up the socio-economic ladder from slacker, to decently-paid freelance writer, to obscenely-paid “A List” professional.

And guess what?

It’s true.  Making a ton of money didn‘t turn on the Happy Faucet.

However, it didn’t turn on the misery faucet, either… which, for me, was a moment of enlightenment.

Happiness is in your head.  It’s a state of mind, which doesn’t require cash… unless the lack of cash moves you off your game.

Which lead to the one big realization that helped me clarify what “success” really meant, for me:

Big Damn Observation #2: Money will only solve those problems that not having money creates.

People usually blink back at me the first time I share this with them.  It seems too obvious to qualify for “wisdom”.

For me, though, it’s freaking profound.  The problems that ate me up during the first half of my life… when I was lost, directionless and kept ending up sleeping on people’s couches (because the business world kept spitting me out) (and my girlfriends kept leaving cuz I was such a loser)…

… were all specifically related to not having enough money to get a toehold in life.

Rent was a problem.  Getting a speeding ticket was a major financial blow that could crush my entire budget.  Any adventure that required new clothes or new equipment or a long trip was completely out of the question.

And that was okay for a while… I fancied myself a carefree bodhisattva living off the land (so to speak) while cruising through the culture unblemished by having to bow to the The Man.

Then it got real old, real fast.  And I realized it was time for me to find my place in the world, and go for the gusto.

At that point, I finally understood that not having enough dough to cover the basics (and the fundamental luxuries that made life worth living, like concert tickets) was a major sticking point.

The answer, for me, was to figure out the age-old wisdom behind the professional’s concept of a “nut” — that specific amount of cash necessary each cycle to allow you to operate without worrying about missed payments or sudden expenses.

Everyone’s nut is different.  But it’s basically your rent, food, transportation and other bills, along with a certain allowance for clothes and whatever else you need to live your life.  Including dating costs, bowling league fees, piano lessons, a night at the opera, whatever tweaks your notion of a good month.

Most folks never figure this out.  They lurch from paycheck to paycheck, regarding each incoming expense as an alien invasion (”What? Another phone bill?”).

Saving any money for a rainy day is out of the question.  (Americans are among the most clueless savers in the world.)

I’ve been there.  Floating just above the baseline of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs (that infamous low-end list of necessities, like food, shelter and safety)… so I technically qualified as a civilized person.

However, the constant desperation of being one lost paycheck away from living out of my car again kept me from daring to dream beyond whatever fun I could squeeze out of a weekend binge on cheap booze and easy virtue.

It sucked.

So money was constantly on my mind.

Figuring out what I needed to cover my monthly nut relieved me of aimless worry.  I had a number to use as a goal.  I could finally get a handle on what extra money might do for me.

As a budding freelancer, I now knew how many jobs at a certain fee I needed each month.  And I knew when I was finally getting ahead of my nut… so instead of month-to-month, I actually had the next three months’ nut covered.  And then the next six months.  And then the next year.

This knowledge of my financial situation allowed me to move up a few rungs on the success ladder, too.

But I did it following…

Big Damn Observation #3: Pay in full as you go.

Now, I have a mortgage.  It was a calculated decision, and I’m happy with it.

But it’s the only debt I have, or have had for the last 25 years.

I pay cash for all my cars, guitars, trips, computers and everything else.  The credit card gets paid down to zero each cycle.  (The banks hate me for that.)

I’ll tell you something — it was PAINFUL learning to wait until I could afford what I wanted, early on.  Especially with that credit card burning a hole in my wallet.

I drove a rattletrap ‘80 Celica liftback (ugliest car on the road, ever) that required a gallon of water every morning in the radiator (slow leak), and which was often mistaken for a vehicle bound for the Demolition Derby across town.

I’m not proud of this, necessarily.  Nevertheless, that car met my needs as a struggling early-career freelancer.  (I just made sure clients didn’t see it.)

And when it finally went on life-support, I bade it a tearful goodbye (I loved that old wreck) and wrote a check, in full, for a luxury-edition Camry.

Debt sucks, folks.

It’s willingly allowing shackles to be welded onto your ankles.  It pushes your nut far out into the future, limits your ability to move fast when opportunity knocks, and (worst of all) gives you a false sense of accomplishment.

Now, sometimes you may go into debt for something (like a house) that you can justify.  Sometimes.  (I may yet pay this nasty thing off all at once… but for now, I’m at peace with having a mortgage for this love-nest.)

Just make sure you do it consciously.  And not because it’s your habit to never pay as you go.

Side story: I have a standard reply for anyone who considers going into debt to afford a high-ticket product or seminar or something else they feel they “need right now”… but can’t afford.

My advice: Don’t do it.

Instead of hocking grandma’s jewelry, or maxing out six credit cards, or rolling the dice in any way…

… why not try a truly radical approach.  And save up the money to pay for it on the barrel-head.

Instead of looking for an easy, immediate, debt-stupid way to get around not having the cash… just earn the cash beforehand.  Stop partying on the weekends for a year — just a single year (trust me, it won’t kill you) — and take a part-time job dedicated to filling up your “continuing adult education” fund.

Save every penny from that second job.  (Which you can, because your day job covers your nut each month, right?  Especially now that you’ve ceased dropping a bill every Saturday night at the slosh pit.)

Put it in a savings account.  Don’t touch it.  Don’t dream about it, don’t consider it for any other situation…

… except your quest for getting the knowledge and coaching you want so you can move ahead in life.

Even a minimum wage gig, two days a week, can net you several hundred bucks a month.  Any higher wage is gravy.  At the end of a year, you’ll have a pot with a few thousand smackeroos in it…

… which you can then lay out for that seminar, or course, or coaching, or whatever you’re drooling over.

No debt.  You earned your entry fee.  You paid your way.  You didn’t have to beg, borrow or steal.

And you know the value of every buck you laid out.  Which means you’re gonna consume whatever you buy, and put it to work in your life asap.

Scoff if you want.  Most folks do.

But the pride of knowing you paid your own way instantly pumps more honest value into that purchase than you could ever imagine.  You’ll appreciate the adventure, and (key point) suck every drop of value from it.

The adventure of a life well-lived is funny that way.

Let others haggle and plot and concoct elaborate schemes to get around the simplest path to earning your own success.

There’s a lot of risk inherent in creating a successful life.  Most entrepreneurs operate with no safety net.  Going for the gusto means exposing yourself to the dangers of adventure and accomplishment.

But that doesn’t mean that burying yourself in debt needs to be one of those risks.

Of lot of people well-established in the business world will argue with me.  That’s fine.  I understand the advantages of using OPM (other people’s money), and investing cash and resources to maximize potential.

But that’s all a little further down the line for anyone just starting the adventure.

Smart leveraging is one thing.  Blindly piling up obligations beyond your nut is something else entirely.

Before you can be a Player, you gotta be a foot soldier in business.

Travel light, and avoid all “tails” (obligations, like debt, that restrict your freedom) for now.

Big Damn Observation #4: And… I think that’s enough for this post.

I do have one last piece of financial advice for anyone after a better life.

It’s a cool little tactic that seriously changed my life almost immediately…

… allowing me to become one of the top freelancers in the game…

… and opening up amazing new opportunities (like mentoring with Gary Halbert) that would have never happened otherwise.

Let me know if you’d like to hear this last lesson… and I’ll put it in the next post.

I gotta get ready to travel some more here.

Love to hear your comments, stories, opinions and whatever below on this topic of moolah (and the love/hate thereof).

It’s the main sticking point holding folks back from getting what they want out of life, you know.  Money.  It’s a gas.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. By the way…

… in case you weren’t in the loop…

… there is still a slot or two left in the killer mastermind group we’ve put together for entrepreneurs, small biz owners, and freelancers.

If you’re finally ready to get the support, shared resources, contacts and profit-boosting mojo that comes with being embraced in a mastermind group…

… then this is gonna blow your mind.

Personally hosted by me and my biz partner Stan Dahl.  It’s already generating scorching-hot buzz in the marketing community and…

… well, you can read all about it here: www.carltoncoaching.com/platinum-group

Very rare opportunity.

You might wanna check it out immediately.

Howdy…

Nobody’s ever asked me to give the commencement speech for a graduating class.

That’s probably a good thing.  I’m pretty pissed off at the education system these days, and I might cause a small riot with the rant I’d surely deliver.

See, I have a university “education”.  A BA in psychology.  (The BA stands for, I believe, “bullshit amassed”.)  I earned it several decades ago…

… and while I had a good time in college (height of the sex revolution, you know, with a soundtrack that is now called “classic rock”), made some lifelong friends, and got a good look at higher learning from the inside…

… that degree provided zilch preparation for the real world.  Didn’t beef me up for any job, didn’t give me insight to how things worked, didn’t do squat for me as an adult.

I waltzed off-campus and straight into the teeth of the worst recession since the Depression (Nixon’s post-Vietnam wage-freeze, record unemployment, gas-lines, near-total economic turmoil)…

… so, hey, I should have a little empathy for today’s grads, right?

Naw.

While today’s graduates are facing similar grim economic times, there’s been a significant change in the concept behind a college education.  Somehow, over the years, a bizarre mantra has taken hold in kids minds: “Get a degree, and it’s a ticket to the Good Life.”

A job is expected to be offered to you before the ink is dry on your diploma.

And it really, really matters WHICH school you get that diploma from.

You know what I say?

Bullshit.  Okay, maybe if you go to Yale or Harvard, you can make the connections on Wall Street and in Washington to get your game on.  Maybe.  (More likely, those connections are already available, if you’re gonna get ‘em, through family bloodlines… and the Ivy’s are just playing up their famous track records in a classic sleight-of-hand.)

Put aside the advancement opportunities offered to spawn of the oligarchy, though… and the realities of life-outside-of-academia do not jive at all with the propaganda doled out by the university systems.

Many of the richest guys I know are drop-outs.  Some are HIGH SCHOOL drop-outs.  The few friends who did go to the kind of school whose name causes eyebrows to rise…

… are ALL working far outside their major.  To the point that nothing they learned has proven to be even remotely useful to their adult life.  (Unless they stumble upon another over-educated dweeb at a cocktail party and get into a bare-knuckle Trivial Pursuit marathon.)

Too many people get all confused and bewildered about “education” as opposed to “going to college”.

It’s not the same thing, folks.

Some of the most clueless individuals I’ve ever met have impressive diplomas… while nearly all of the most savvy (and wealthy) individuals I know done got educated all on their lonesomes.

I learned more about history, business and psychology in 2 weeks of serious library surfing (with a speed reading course under my belt) than I did in 4 years of college.

And I learned more about life in 3 months of hanging out with street-wise salesmen than I did from ANY source, anywhere, up to that time.

By all means, go to college if that’s part of your Master Plan to having a great life.  You’ll meet interesting people, and it’s a Rite Of Passage for many Americans these days.

But don’t do it blindly.  Just cuz The Man says it’s what you’re “supposed” to do.

Do some critical thinking before you jump in.

And if you really want that degree in Russian literature, or women’s studies, or political science, or whatever… then fine.  Go get ‘em.  Grrr.

Just KNOW that you can probably educate your own damn self on those subjects… and even get a deeper understanding of it all… by reading every book written about it, and interviewing a few experts.  And if you can get private mentoring from someone, even better.

This can all take place during evenings and weekends, over the course of a few months, while you hold down a day job.  Even if you buy the books, instead of hitting up libraries, you’ll have spent less on this specialized education than you’d pay for a single semester in “real” school.

And, unless you’re the laziest screw-up ever, you’ll actually learn MORE in those few months of intense immersion… than you would with a full-on degree.

You know how I can make this bold claim with a straight face?

Because this is what I’ve been doing as a freelancer for decades.  Every time I wrote for a new market, I spent weeks immersing myself in it… learning everything I could about it from the inside-out.  And this process often made me more of an expert than the client himself.

And I did it over and over and over again.

It was just part of the job.  All top freelancers do this.

Once you lose your fear of self-education…

… you can finally let it sink in that WE LIVE IN THE FREAKIN’ INFORMATION AGE.  The joint is crammed to bursting with books, ebooks, videos, websites, courses…

… the whole world is CRAZY well-stocked.  There are teachers and coaches and mentors available if you need supervision.  (I’ve partaken of this opportunity frequently over my life.) Boards and fan-zines and forums and membership sites abound (for bitching and moaning, as well as for networking with peers).

It’s a cornucopia of knowledge, experience and adventure out there.

Yes, there are blind alleys and pitfalls and wrong turns…

… but once you’re committed to learning something, these are just brief excursions off the main drag… and you can use even your failures as advanced learning tools as you gain expert status.  (In fact, it’s really required that you screw up at least a little bit.  Otherwise, you never get perspective.)

And best of all…

… you can engage with life as you go.  And skip the jarring nonsense of the Ivory Tower bubble.

(One caveat to self-education: You must, early on, read up on how debates are actually taught.  Or join a debate club.

I’m serious.  Best thing I’ve ever done.  As you sample debating, you should demand that you are given the OPPOSITE viewpoint that you currently hold for any subject.  This forces you to look beyond your petty biases, and to open your mind to other points of view.

This is a HUGE advantage to have in your toolkit throughout life.  Everyone else will be hobbled with un-examined party-line nonsense and indoctrinated crap they can’t even begin to defend when challenged…

… while you — with your rare ability to walk in anyone’s shoes, and to feel the pain or glory of alien thought patterns — will forever more see beyond the sound bites and cliches.  And be able to eloquently explain anything, to anyone.

You will actually begin to sense vestiges of “truth” in the wreckage of our modern culture.

I don’t have to tell you how that might apply to marketing, do I?)

Most people will not go this route of self-examination and immersion-learning, of course.  The concept of taking control of your own education seems kinda threatening and foreign to the majority out there.

We spend the first years of our lives sitting quietly in classrooms, being trained to believe we don’t know shit (and that Teacher knows everything).  That’s excellent training for hitting a groove in college and post-grad pursuits…

… but it’s piss-poor preparation for Life In The Concrete Jungle.

Again, nothing wrong about going with the status quo.  No shame.

Just don’t expect to learn much about the way the world works.  You’re learning how academia works.  Different animal.

Wanna hear my short speech on how to prepare yourself for life?  (I’ve edited this from a recent post I wrote for the Simple Writing System mentoring program.  Lots of great stuff keeps coming out of that gig…)

(Okay, quick plug: Check out www.simplewritingsystem.com to start your own adventure as a high-end sales master…)

Here’s my mini-rant: I’m extremely prejudiced about this subject, of course.  If I ran the world, everyone would get at least a taste of being an entrepreneur.

It will taste bitter to most people.  And that’s fine.  No harm, no foul.  Move on to getting that job with The Man.

But for some… it will be sweet nectar.  A thrill like nothing else they’ve ever experienced before.

Being an entrepreneur takes balls.

But you don’t have to “be” a ballsy kind of person.

You just have to understand how to implement your goals… which requires a little savvy about getting stuff done in the face of opposition and obstacles.  Which is the definition of “ballsy”.  Most of the people successful at achieving goals were not “born” with the necessary guts.

They learned the skill of living life with guts, just like they learned every other important skill associated with the gig.

I OFTEN intervene even with long-time professionals (like freelance writers, or veteran biz owners) who are screwing up their efforts to be successful.

My main advice:  “Stop being a wuss.  Everyone is scared.  The successful ones acknowledge that fear, put it aside, and just get busy taking care of business.”

It really is that simple.

Life beyond childhood is for grown-ups.  If you’re scared, you can take a regular job somewhere, and stay far away from the risks and realities of being your own boss.

On the other hand… if you’ve got entrepreneur’s blood in your veins… and you really DO want to be your own boss…

… then allow the reality of doing so to wash over you, and embrace it.

Everyone is unsure of themselves out there.  There are no guarantees in life for anything… and getting into biz is among the riskiest things of all to do.

A tiny percentage of skydivers will die each year while jumping… but a vast chunk of rookie business owners will fail.

This is why you pursue the skills of salesmanship.  Learning how to create a wicked-good sales message, how to close a deal, , and how to bond with a target market is the PRIMARY weapon you want walking into ANY business environment.

Will you still fail?  Maybe.

But you will NOT fail because you don’t know what the hell you’re doing. If knowing how to persuade and influence can make your business sizzle, then learning salesmanship means you’re armed to the teeth.  Like everything else in life, having the right tools for the job at hand is the best way to put the odds in your favor.

MOST people are not meant to be their own boss.  The world needs followers, too.

Here’s what I tell students in the Simple Writing System, when doubts about their future bubble up:  “Just by diving into the SWS, you have shown that there is something different burning inside you.  No one held a gun to your head and forced you to come here to learn these skills.  You decided to join all on your own.

“Even if you’re not yet sure why you’ve joined us here… you need to understand that MOST people would never even consider doing anything like this.

“Independence freaks most people out.  The thought of standing up and taking responsibility for the birth and success of a business is terrifying… and most will refuse to even entertain the thought.

“This is, by the way, why you should always enter the entrepreneurial world WITHOUT relying on your current crop of friends for support.

“They will not support your efforts.  They think you’re batshit crazy for daring to even consider being your own boss.  They will (consciously or unconsciously) sabotage your progress if they can, and rejoice in your failures… because if you DO succeed, that kills their main excuse for not succeeding themselves.  Most folks believe success is all about luck and magic.  When you dig in and actually do the work necessary to succeed, you piss all over their world view that The Little Guy Can’t Win.

“If you’ve made friends or started a network of fellow travelers here in the SWS, great.  Most entrepreneurs have to operate alone (until they find places like this, where they can find help, advice and coaching).  That loneliness just intensifies the fear and sense of risk.

“But I’ll tell you the truth:  As scary as being independent is…

“… once you’ve tasted it, you’ll be hooked.”

Most entrepreneurs who enjoy even a little success instantly become “unemployable”.  After thinking for yourself, after taking responsibility for your success or failure, after engaging the world fully aware and experiencing the thrill of living large…

… you’re worthless to a boss.  He can’t use anyone who thinks for themselves.

Are you wracked with doubt?

That voice you hear — the one knocking you down, digging a knife into your gut and highlighting your worst fears — is JUST A VOICE.

In psychoanalytic talk, it’s your “Super Ego”… the scolding parent’s voice, the doubter of your abilities, the whiny little bastard bent on keeping you down.

And it can easily be sent packing.

Most people allow others to rule their lives.  Rules and bad advice and grim experiences dating back to childhood somehow become “the way it is”…

… and regardless of any proof otherwise, they will obey that voice until they die.

And yet, all you have to do…

… is acknowledge the voice (”Yes, I hear you, you little shit“), realize it’s not your friend… and lock it in a dungeon deep in your brain, where you can’t hear it anymore.

I speak from experience on this subject.  I was ruled by The Voice Of Doom for the first half of my life.  I didn’t even try to take responsibility for my success, because The Voice told me it was hopeless.  That I was hopeless.  That Fate had nothing but failure in store for me.

Then, I realized that The Voice was actually full of shit.  I proved it, slowly at first, by setting a goal outside The Voice’s warnings… and then achieving it.  And then doing it again.

It’s like superstition.  I used to be the most superstitious guy you’ve ever met.  Literally, my life was dominated by superstitions.

Then, one day, I just decided to see how real those superstitions were.  So I violated every single one of them.  On purpose.  If I had previously thought some action was “bad luck”, I would do it, blatantly, just to see what kind of bad luck occurred.

And, of course, no bad luck ever appeared.

The human brain is crammed with bullshit like this.  Superstitions, bad rules, dumb beliefs, unfounded fears and ridiculous feelings of guilt and shame.

Especially guilt and shame.

You know what a fully functioning adult does?  They don’t approach life believing it should be a certain way, or wish that life was a certain way.

No.  They engage with life the way it really is.  You make your own luck.  Rules sometimes make good sense, but deserve to be broken when they’re clearly stupid.  Belief systems often have nothing to do with reality.  (You can “believe” you’re gonna win the lottery with all your heart and soul… and it won’t change reality one tiny bit.)

Fear is a natural part of our defense system… and it can get out of hand in modern times.

So you need to dig in and get to know your fears.  Some are fine — don’t walk down that dark alley if you’re not prepared to deal with the shit that happens in dark alleys.

Others are bullshit — you had a bad experience once when you were 12, and so what?  Get over it, put on your Big Boy Pants, and re-engage with life.

And shame?  Guilt and shame are useless.  On the road of life, feeling guilty about something is like setting up camp and refusing to move or progress any further.

Instead, try “remorse” — recognize when you’ve done something wrong, clean up the mess, fix what you’ve broken as best you can, and make amends to people you’ve hurt.

And don’t “vow” to do better next time.

Instead, actually DO something to change your behavior or habits.  Promises are bullshit.  Action is the only way to move through life in a positive way.

Don’t promise to do better.  Just do better.  This will probably involve learning something new — a new skill, a new way of dealing with life, a new set of behaviors.

Doing this will set you apart from the majority of other people out there, too.

The modern Renaissance Man or Woman is something awesome to behold.  While the rest of the world increasingly sinks into a snoozing Zombie-state — indoctrinated, fooled, manipulated and played– you have the option of becoming MORE aware, more awake, more alert and ready to live life with gusto.

However, no one is going to force you to do this.

If you want to join the Feast of Life, you have to stand up and earn your seat at the table.  You will not be invited in.  You will not stumble in by accident, or stroke of luck.

Nope.  You must take responsibility for your own life… figure out what you want… and then go get it.

It’s a daunting task for most folks… too daunting to even contemplate.

For the few who know it’s what they want, however… it’s all just a matter of movement and action.

Yes, it can be scary.  Life is terrifying, at times.

It’s also only worth living, for many people, when you get after it with all your heart.

There are no replays on this game.  No second tickets for the ride.

You’re allowed to sleep through all of it.  Most folks do.

If that’s not good enough for you any more, then welcome to the rarefied air of the entrepreneur world.

It’s fun, it’s thrilling, it’s scary, and there’s no safety net below you.

I wouldn’t have it any other way.

And that’s the commencement speech I’d give.

Put you to sleep, didn’t it.

Okay, my work is done here.

What would YOU tell new grads?  Lay it out in the comments, below…

Stay frosty,

John

Thursday, 11:49pm
Reno, NV
“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (Talking Heads,”Psycho Killer”, ca. 1979)

Howdy.

Quick lesson today, which should help you understand one of the fundamental truths of kick-ass marketing.

That truth: There is almost always a way to fix or solve a marketing problem.

Actually, that truth is also functional in every-day life…

… but that’s a much longer lesson.

Here’s the quickie version, for marketers: I was just delivering this story in one of the Simple Writing System classrooms, and thought I’d share with you here, too.

As any decent marketer knows, the Prime Directive of a sales process is to discover your best possible prospect… and “reach” him with your sales message.

Seems simple enough.  Sometimes, it is.  If you’re selling hamburgers near a starving crowd, you’re set. Just open your doors and tell folks to line up.

For a while (back in the Good Old Days of Internet marketing), all you had to do was:

Step One: Be the first into a hot niche…

Step Two: With a sloppy website…

Step Three: And let the search engines round up your prospects.

Oh, and bank the piles of dough cascading in.

It’s fun when things work smoothly like that.

And it gets frustrating when things should work smoothly… but don’t.

Like, when you have a great product, and you can point out your perfect prospect… (he’s right over there, right there)… who really will benefit from your wonderful stuff, and who should be buying from you right now, cuz you’re a bitchin’ dude and your offer is so flat-out primo.

But it’s a living nightmare, because that prospect isn’t paying any attention to you — (and you’re right here, dammit, hey, stop ignoring me!) — and you’re invisible to him.

While he wanders along, oblivious, and even (gasp!) buys that inferior crap from your trashy competition, who are mean, unethical psychopaths who eat kittens.

It’s just wrong.  It’s not fair, it’s a really, really bad situation, and Reality sucks and should be ashamed of itself.

I hear this refrain a lot from folks who cut their marketing teeth during the Gold Rush period of the Web, when they could do no wrong, and the wired world beat down their door to worship at their feet.  (For a brief time, they were like the only boy in a school full of girls around prom time — saddling them with a much over-bloated sense of their attractiveness and power.)

Meanwhile, us grizzled experienced veterans from the Old School offer rueful sympathy.

Hell, yeah, it was fun back when moolah poured down on us from magic online faucets, when gold crunched under our feet everywhere we went, and low-hanging fruit stretched forever into the distance.

It was fun… and it never had a chance of lasting very long.

And here we are, in this brave new world of an all-grown-up, super-competitive marketplace crusted with economic vagueness…

… where, what d’ya know, a little honest experience in selling can once again save your butt.

Look — it often IS hard to reach certain types of prospects in the real world.

It’s not impossible, however.  In fact, it can be done fairly easily, once you get your head straight (and learn a few simple salesmanship chops).

I learned this lesson early on, as part of my “Gun To The Head” attitude of creating ads.

That attitude was simple: With a gun to my head that would go off if my ad didn’t work…

… would I still use that headline… that sales message… that word in that paragraph… or any other risky tactic to FUBAR the chances of the little ad I was sending out into the cold, cruel world?

Back then, it really would have been career-suicide to write ads that bombed.  I had no reputation, no contacts in the industry, no one watching my back.

So being clever, or funny, or taking grandiose creative risks with a client’s advertising was out of the question.

Instead, I concentrated on classic salesmanship — the Old School stuff that has worked since the beginning of history, and has never stopped working (not even for a moment).

This attitude didn’t win me any friends among the other professional copywriters I was competing against.  They hated salesmanship, mostly.  Considered it beneath them.  They saw their job as being clever and creative.

Meanwhile, my ads worked (while theirs bombed), and suddenly I had a reputation as a guy who could get the job done.

(It was also extremely satisfying when clients discovered I was a funny, witty dude when not working.  I just didn’t take chances with my ad writing… cuz there was money on the line.  I assured them that the moment the universe shifted, and clever ads started pulling down bigger profits, then I would be the first writer to start pumping out clever copy.  Until then, however, I would continue to skip the goofy attempts to circumvent good salesmanship… and just write what brought in the cashola.  And we could use the profits to go buy privileged seating at the comedy clubs when we wanted to laugh at something.)

(I had a note taped to my monitor that kept me focused, too.  It was a quote by the painter Renoir, who knew what he was talking about:  “First, learn your craft.  It won’t prevent you from becoming a genius later.“  Huge wisdom there.)

Now, this “Gun To The Head” attitude also worked when I (or my sales letter) had to dodge and weave through layers of gate keepers to reach The Dude Who Can Sign A Check.

This is a critical step for ANYONE and ANY AD sent out into the business world to collect coin.

It causes no end of problems to have lengthy sessions with someone who can’t make a final decision… or to put a sales letter into the hands of that guy… who then has to go sell THEIR boss — or, worse, a committee — on the deal , without you there to guide the pitch.

Memorize this:  It is usually a waste of time to sell someone in a company on something, when that someone can’t write a check to pay for it.

No matter how excited or ready-to-go that person is… if he has to take his request through a gauntlet of gate keepers, the deal will die.  (A gate keeper — also known as a “Little Hitler” because they wield the power to axe any project on a whim — considers their primary job as protecting their boss from strange new out-of-the-box ideas.  They’re like a hungry bear standing in the river during salmon spawning season, gobbling up every incoming message.)

So, how do you handle a situation where you cannot reach The Dude Who Signs Checks by phone, or by email, or direct mail, or any of the normal channels?

Cue “Gun To The Head” thinking.

With my life on the line if I failed, what was I willing/able to do… to get my sales message into the hands of the right person?

Just working this out is excellent brain-exercise.

And you start by imagining every single way you can come up with to get past those gate keepers.  No idea is too wild, too outrageous, or too nonsensical during this early brainstorming period.

There is always a way to get something done. Always.

Of course, I refuse to be unethical, or do anything illegal… so most of the imaginary scenarios that burble up to the surface aren’t something I would ever do.  But I put them down on the list anyway.  Like sneaking into the offices after hours, Mission Impossible-style, and leaving my sales letter on his chair, marked “Urgent”.  Or hacking their email system and stealing the password of his most trusted assistant, so the email could come from her.  Or joining his golf club, so I could be introduced to him.  Or marrying his daughter.  Or kidnapping him.  Or showing up at his house and begging him to look at the offer.  Or…

Or whatever.  The idea is to think of every single way you MIGHT be able to get past the natural barriers to reaching The Dude, without censoring anything.

You take it too far, in every direction.

How, with a gun to your head, could you get the job done?

And what you realize by doing this is the secret behind some of the better Hollywood movies: There is always a plausible scenario, well within the bounds of reality, to make any plan succeed.

These scenarios may involve illegalities, or Mafia-style behavior, or taking over entire municipalities with a specially-formed militia…

… but the thing is…

… it CAN be done.

Now, again, I refuse to do illegal stuff.  I’m sure you do, too.

So most of what you come up, using this “Succeed or Die” attitude, cannot be implemented.

However, what you have done is still important:  You have proven to your brain that it CAN be done.

So you can stop pretending it’s “impossible” to reach The Dude with your sales message.

You just have to find the way to do it that doesn’t involve bloodshed or blackmail or losing sleep at night.

This kind of thinking is how Gary Halbert came up with his infamous “ethical bribe” angle.  A real bribe would have worked, but he was unwilling to do that.  So he created a goodie-crammed bonus package that was pretty much equal to a bribe in value…

… and used it to demolish all reluctance on the prospect’s part to engage in the deal.

It also led us to send Fed Ex packages to hot prospects (and to force clients to send out Fed Ex packages to their hottest leads)… a special delivery system so extravagant at the time, it never occurred to other marketers to even attempt such a tactic.

However, those packages got past the office managers, where “normal” letters, phone calls, or even personal visits wouldn’t succeed.  (Other marketers soon invented “fake” Fed Ex-looking packages to sneak past the gauntlet, cheaper.)

We also came up with ideas like sending the letter from a lawyer, making it very obvious that this was something from the lawyer’s office, personally meant for our prospect.  (Even though the actual product had nothing to do with lawyering.)

That also often slipped by the gate keepers, and made it straight to the prospect’s desk.  (The idea came out of a completely outrageous imagined scheme using a doctor as the sender, and writing “Your lab tests are enclosed”.  That was, of course, brilliantly sneaky and completely out of the question as a usable tactic… but it lead to the more practical idea of hiring a lawyer to “host” the mailing, which was perfectly fair.  We made zero suggestions anywhere that this was an actual legal matter… but it still got the letter past the gate keepers.)

As a freelancer trying to get in front of The Dude to solicit jobs, I also started using real detective tactics — “working” the receptionists and secretaries for the hobbies, birthdays, and other sundry bits of info about their boss (including juicy gossip). Intel that any good salesman can use to quickly bond, create an opening, and follow through on.

(This tactic will sound very familiar to anyone wondering why Facebook is collecting so much personal info…)

It’s all about thinking outside the box, of course.  With a loaded pistol to my head.

It’s not fair… but the world doesn’t always reward the marketer with the best product, or the best deal.

Often, personality, gifts (or bribes), and cheap psychology wins the day.

This concept of proving to your brain that something is at least possible… and almost never impossible… completely inverts the usual way people think.

Take it “too far” in every direction, and just air out all the ways it CAN be done.

Then walk it back to a plan that meets your requirements for not getting cuffed, shot, sued, or tarred-and-feathered.

As a killer salesman, you never take a “no” personally… and you don’t let it stand as the final word, either.

Just keep mulling it over. What else can you do to stand out to the right people, to win over the advocacy of important groups , to slip past obstacles, to make sure you’re playing the game on a higher level than your competition?

There is always a way to overcome an obstacle.  And often, somewhere’s between the utterly outrageous notions and the dumb-ass get-yourself-killed schemes…

… is the brainstorm that gets her done.

This is high-end salesmanship, folks.

Again, if you’re hungry for more… and if you’re finally realizing it’s time you learned the simple secrets of selling (so you can get busy with your new life of fame, wealth and the kind of giddy happiness you’re not even sure you deserve to enjoy)…

… then stop lollygagging around and check this opportunity out:

www.simplewritingsystem.com

Why?

Because, you know who you’re up against out there?

You’re up against guys who DO know classic salesmanship.  If you’re getting your clock cleaned by the competition… and you don’t like getting your clock cleaned like that…

… then this is where you muscle-up and begin to turn the tables on them.

Learn to sell.  It’s fun stuff to know, and it will make your life better at every level, in ways you cannot yet imagine.

You have any other old school selling secrets you care to share here?

Just lay it out in the comments.  We’re doing righteous work here, in these threads…

Stay frosty,

John

Thursday, 8:06pm
Reno, NV
“Here come Johnny Yen again…” (Iggy Pop, “Lust For Life”)

Howdy…

Oh, my God!

They killed the sales letter again!

Will this horror never stop?

Actually, you can relax.  Just like Kenny in South Park, the traditional sales letter is on some kind of perverse “Permanent Hit List”…

… where every marketer trying to claim he just invented a new fad stands astride the image of a quaking letter…

… and slays it.

Huzzah! Death to you, vile long-copy sales letter!  Take that… and that…

… and that.

This latest round is clever as hell, too.  The new trend is putting your sales letter in a video, and reading along with it.

The irony:  The dude selling you the “Magic Box” product that kills the sales letter forever…

… uses a sales letter to do the killing.

Hey — don’t get me wrong.  I love video.  Been using it in marketing since… well, since it was actual videotape on reels.  (Yeah, shocking, I know.  We were so backward in the last century.)

In fact, the “Magic Box” product I’m talking about is, I’m guessing, an excellent solution for many marketers who can’t figure out how to make a video sales letter work.

And all’s fair in love, war and advertising.  So all the dudes out there telling you the sales letter is dead, and you can sell without selling, and the Web has changed everything…

… well, more power to ‘em.

I just want to clarify 3 things.

Enlightenment Moment #1. Video is not magic.  No one will give you money for your product just because you have video in your marketing.

Video IS a smokin’ hot vehicle for delivering a good sales message, however.  We’ve seen (and heard of) results skyrocket in certain markets simply by introducing video into the mix.

It lets you engage your prospect with visuals, audio, and all the attention-getting power of passion-inflected voice-overs.

Video rocks.  When the Web goes 3-D, then 3-D video will rock, too.

When your monitor starts spraying you with carefully-selected odors, then smells will become a marketing tool.  Taste isn’t far off, either.

The thing is… the best kind of selling will always be a senses-consuming, totally customized experience for the prospect.

The more personalized you can make the sales process, the more you will sell (as long as you don’t screw up the message).

So for now, yeah, video is something you need to test vigorously.  (And those tests will likely show you that video is just as powerful as folks insist it is.)

However…

… it’s not the video that’s doing anything for you.

It’s the experience of being taken through a good sales process in a new way that tweaks more of your senses.

A sucky sales message in a video will still get you sucky results.

Enlightenment Moment #2. There is a trend now among some info-marketers of insisting that you can “sell without selling”.

This is an excellent sales tactic.  Vast mobs of rookie marketers crave this kind of soothing message.  They fear the sales process, and want to hear that they can skip any act even remotely associated with gnarly, unsightly salesmanship.

And so, this is the exact message that is floated by info-marketers eager for the quick kill.  You don’t need to know how to write, and you don’t need to understand anything about selling.

And it’s bullshit.

These guys are (a) excellent writers themselves (even as they insist they’re not)… and (b) astonishingly clever salesmen.

Again, I salute them.  I even urge people to check out their products.  It’s often good shit.

However, it causes my in-box to fill up with questions from confused rookie marketers…

… and it’s annoying to have to haul out the same answer every few months.

Which leads us to…

Enlightenment Moment #3: Let’s review — once again — what a sales letter really is…

… and why people keep wanting to kill it.

Ahem.

Please note this:  There has never been a time in the history of business…

… where long copy sales letters were the “norm” for most marketers.

Most advertising and marketing sucks.  It always has, and always will.

Most advertising “experts” who staff the kind of mega-agencies that create ads for large corporations (from selling cupcakes to selling investments on Wall Street)… are NOT killer salesmen.

None of the mainstream advertising you see for Coca-cola, for example, actually sells Coca-cola.   It just keeps the brand in your head.  (Okay, when they can get away with it, they’ll also try to hypmotize you into craving it… but that’s never been proven to work.)

What causes Coke to actually sell is a complex manufacturing and delivery system that dominates the sugar-water industry.  Nobody walks out of Taco Bell because they sell Pepsi instead of Coke.

However, Coke will fly off the shelves in a supermarket because they have primo shelf position, coupons and cross-sell affiliations up the whazoo, and it’s a leader in creating new vehicles for easier consumption.  (You still call the local soft-drink dispenser “the Coke machine” — even if there’s no Coke in it — because Coke created the industry of delivering cold bottles individually, automatically.)

So yeah, those cute TV commercials with Santa swilling Coke with polar bears isn’t “selling”, as in moving product.

What moves the bottles and cans is the hard-core marketing machine that keeps 7-11 fully stocked, at eye level.

Any marketer with less than a billion dollars in their ad budget, who thinks they’re gonna be successful by “copying” Coke’s commercial style…

… is an idiot.

Copying their manufacturing and delivery system, sure.  Again, if you got the bucks, the distribution channels, the deals with supermarket chains, etc.

Same with cars.  You don’t see a Ford commercial, stumble off to the dealer in a zombie daze, and buy immediately.

No.  You engage with a sales process.

These processes… the dealing with a “sales agent”, or finding yourself at the consuming end of a system that started with sugar water… all rely on pure salesmanship to work.

Top marketers, throughout the long history of marketing, either know this…

… or learn it, quickly.

It’s the only way to become successful in a way you control.  You don’t rely on luck, or on fads, or on the unexpected confluence of events for your success.

No.  You create your success.  By knowing how to sell.

Now… let’s get back to why most advertising and marketing sucks.

In the greater world of advertising, there are the huge agencies who use slogans and art, and call it an ad because no one knows any better…

… and then there is this tiny little sliver of the industry, way off in the corner, called “direct response advertising”.

It’s the bastard child of the big agencies.

The big agencies like slogans and pretty art, because all they want to do is to please their client.  So the client cries out “That’s a GREAT ad!  We can’t wait to run it during the Superbowl!”

And they happily pay vast fortunes to the agencies, believing they have done their due marketing diligence.

Meanwhile, over in the corner (sulking, because we get no fucking respect)…

… the direct response guys don’t care if the client loves the ad.

Because they’re not selling the ad to the client.

They’re, instead, creating an ad that will sell to PROSPECTS.

The term “direct response” refers to the nature of the ads.  There is some element of asking for ACTION.  A response.  Click here to order.  Opt in to get the free goodies.  Call for a quote.

This kind of response scares the bejesus out of the big fancy agencies.

They HATE the idea of being held responsible for any kind of actual RESULT from their nice-looking, salesmanship-free ads.

Because, if Ford ever asked their agency how many cars were sold from the last whiz-bang set of TV commercials…

… the answer would be a shrug.  “We don’t know.  We literally have no clue whether those ads sold lots and lots of cars, or no car at all.”

(Here’s how that game works, btw: At the end of the year, if Ford sold more cars — for whatever reason — the agency retains the account and are heroes.  If Ford sold less cars, they fire the agency and hire another one.  It’s all smoke and mirrors, alchemy, voodoo and wish-fulfillment all rolled into one big ball of bullshit.)

The direct response guys?

They can’t afford to create ads that don’t work…

… cuz everyone will immediately know if the ads bomb or succeed…

… based on the results.

No guesswork.  No magic.  No nonsense about “brand awareness” or “long-term sales strategies”.

You create the ad.  You minimize “x” factors, you test, you count up the numbers, and either it works, sorta works, or fails.

So…

Faced with the prospect of actually having to create a provably-successful ad… the direct response guys have always gone straight to the source of successful selling:

Salesmanship.

Knowing how to persuade, hold attention, overcome objections… and especially how to close the deal.

And guess what?

In one form or another…

… doing this always ends up in some kind of long-copy sales letter.

Infomercials in the 80s were long sales letters.  They were low-rent videos that ran for an hour on late-night cable for spare change, in an age when most marketers were spending a fortune on high-production 20-second spots on the networks (with zero actual selling going on).  (Those crappy infomercials brought in vast fortunes, too, and changed the way marketers think about cable — and late night selling — forever.)

Most ads in newspapers and magazines were small, tidy little affairs with cute headlines.  The ads that worked in newspapers and mags, however, were the full-page monsters that presented better stories that the publication itself… and which sold hard and crazy.

Most businesses, throughout the ages, have insisted on following the herd… and dumped endless piles of cash into sales-challenged marketing that was doomed from the get-go.

And meanwhile, off in that corner of the advertising industry, the direct response guys who knew how to sell just plodded along, piling up results and remaining more-or-less content to stay behind the curtains.

Then the Web arrived.

And with it, the biggest opportunity for entrepreneurial start-ups that civilization has ever seen.

You literally needed just an Internet connection and a cheap computer… and you could start a real business.  Kitchen table optional.

And guess what?

The smart entrepreneurs went straight for the jugular with their marketing efforts.  Without deep pockets, they had to make their advertising work right off the bat.

And so they were instantly attracted to direct response strategies.  Who cares if the ads weren’t pretty, or people bitched about long copy, or — gasp! — complaints rolled in from folks offended that anyone would use the Net to sell anything.

What works, works.

The Big Dog entrepreneurial marketers online are ALL direct response aficionados.

Even the ones who insist they’re not.  (They’re just really, really good at selling you in ways that don’t trigger the “I’m being sold!” alarms in your head.)

Don’t get confused by what stuff is called.

A minute of video is (more or less) equal to around a page of double-spaced copy.  So a 10-minute video is delivering the oomph of a 10-page sales letter.

So, fine, don’t call it a sales letter.

We don’t, anymore.  We now talk to folks about creating a sales message.  The delivery system for that message may be a real letter, or a website, or a video on a site, or a series of auto-responder emails, or a speech from a stage, or a webinar/teleseminar or…

… or any other way it can be presented to a prospect.

It’s not the “letter” part of the phrase that matters.  (The next generation of marketers now coming up the ranks have likely never received a mailed letter in their lives, anyway.)

No.

It’s the “sales” part that matters.

Learn how to sell.  It’s not voodoo.  It’s actually easy, when you have an experienced guide.

Don’t sweat the “writing” part.  If you can sell, you can do all your marketing verbally… have it transcribed into video scripts, or Web pages, or printed ads, or whatever you need… and skip the whole “writing” thing altogether.

But you probably aren’t a natural salesman.  Most people are woefully inept at crafting a good sales pitch.

So learn the simple steps behind selling.  It’s not hard.

However… if you insist on remaining ignorant…

… then you will forever be prey to the dudes who DO know how to sell.

And they will sell you one Magic Box solution after another.  Solutions they themselves have succeeded with…

… because — oops, they forgot to tell you — they are KILLER salesmen.

There are a lot of great products out there for entrepreneurs and small biz owners who can’t afford to have marketing that doesn’t work like crazy.

If you get on my list, you’ll know who we recommend.  We don’t recommend anything we haven’t tried ourselves.

But before you try ANY of the clever new shit out there…

… please… learn how to sell.

Just absorb the simple basics into your skull.

And here’s where I recommend you start.  (Just click on the blue word “here’s” in that last sentence.  Like magic, you’ll be transported to a stripped-down website where you can learn more.  No obligation.  No trickery.  Just the basics on what you can do, right now, to learn more about becoming a killer salesman.)

The best marketers out there are obsessed with closing the deal.

You’re just not in the game if you don’t understand salesmanship.

You are, in fact, meat.  Sustenance for those who do know understand how to persuade and influence and sell.

Okay.

That was a long way around the block to make a point.

But it needed to be made.  And will be needed again, no doubt.

If you appreciate this kind of no-nonsense explanation on how stuff really works…

… then climb aboard.  Opt in, above right.

It’s a minefield out there, when you’re alone and trying to make a business work without knowing who to trust.

We know who the good guys are, and who the charlatans are.

I’m sure you disagree with at least some of what I’ve said here.

The comment section is now open, awaiting your wisdom and input.

Have at it.

Stay frosty,

John

Monday, 3:29pm
Reno, NV
“You’re either on the bus, or off the bus…” (Ken Kesey)

Howdy…

Quick lesson here I thought you’d enjoy.

The phrase “there are two kinds of people” is used by comics, politicians, and just-plain-folks trying to set up a point with an easily-understood little story.

It’s an over-simplification, most of the time, of course.  Life is too nuanced and complex to fit into just two tidy categories.

However, sometimes you can make a damn good argument behind the two-groups thing.

In selling, this is what we’ve called “the dichotomy of futures”…

… meaning, you can make two distinctly clear divisions:

1.) The “in” group, which is your target market…

2.) … and the “out” group, which you use as a punching bag to make your point.

The classic example is the old Wall Street Journal direct mail letter that told a story of two men with identical resumes… same education, same dreams, same age, same town, same career.

One dude ended up a total loser, while the other was lavished with fortune and happiness.  The difference?

Dude #2 read the Wall Street Journal, of course.

That letter mailed for a very long time, and brought in a lot of subscriptions.

In that very simple presentation of two futures, we experience the “take away”, the “greed impulse”, the terror of loss, the urge for a better deal than everyone else gets…

… the whole shebang of killer selling strategies that appeal simultaneously to our lizard brain needs and our modern fears.

It’s an ancient tactic.  Philosophers talk about “the road less traveled” (versus the path everyone else takes), soldiers are taught to kill or be killed, and activists say you’re either with us or you’re against us.

No middle ground.  No gray areas.

It’s a nice, tidy, super-simple way to make your point.

However, you can screw it up.

When persuading people, you need to create divisions that resonate and make instant sense.

Good example of what NOT to do: “You either agree with me, or you’re a communist pig.”

You see this type of clumsy attempt used a lot, and it does exactly zero persuading.  In fact, it creates backlash, and you end up with the opposite result of what you wanted.

Folks don’t change their minds… they just get pissed off.

Handled correctly, however, you can actually dissolve resistance and allow persuasion to sneak in the side door.  (As in: “There are two kinds of people — those who agree with me… and those who don’t realize they agree with me yet because I come across as such a goofball.”)

Here’s what reminded me of this tactic: While hosting our super-exclusive Platinum Mastermind Groups this past weekend in San Francisco (screaming successes, by the way)…

… I sprained my lower back.

The ol’ lumbar just went ka-pow on the last morning.

I got through the session fine.  But I was hobbled.

And it reminded me: There are two kinds of people in the world — those who’ve experienced back pain… and those who haven’t.

In the meeting, everyone was generous with the sympathy.

However, there was one guy who instantly connected with my situation… because he’d been down that road before.

If you have never experienced back pain, then sympathy is all you’re qualified to offer.  You cannot even begin to imagine what it’s like, no matter how hard you try.

And once you have experienced it… you’re in a special club.

There really are just two kinds of people.  Those who’ve tweaked, sprained, ruptured or broken any of the gear in their back…

… and everybody else.

I took the one guy aside, and listened to his advice. We bonded immediately.

Some of the other people in the room also had advice, but it didn’t resonate with me.  This fellow-hurting-puppy, though… we had common ground.

In marketing, it’s good to remember this lesson when you attempt to bond with prospects.  (Essential for most selling situations.)

If you can honestly find a natural division between your best prospects and the rest of the world, that you share…

… you already have the beginnings of a persuasive story.

Don’t over-use this tactic, and don’t stretch the facts to make it work.  The dividing line has to be natural and smooth.

In this personal example, I’ve been “open” to advice about keeping my back healthy before — because I’ve had a sore or slightly bummed-out lumbar region for years — but I never paid close attention.

Why?  Because any advice given to me was about preventing the situation from getting worse.

And, as any good salesman (or student of human psychology) knows…

Rule Number One is:  People won’t spend a nickel or invest time to prevent anything…

… but once something breaks, they’ll spend everything they have and focus completely on fixing it.

Once I entered that rare group of actually having a sprained lumbar, I was finally ready to hear some advice about getting it un-sprained.

If what you sell is a solution to a problem…

… then your best prospects will always be experiencing some level of trauma.  (A high level would be a health problem.  A low level of trauma might be needing an oil change in the car before a long trip.)

There’s an interruption in the smooth flow of their life, and they want it corrected.  Fast, easily and at a bargain if possible.

They have a different world view than everyone else.  They’re in a unique group.  And they’ll perk up to stories about this group that everyone else would yawn and ignore.

Good little tool to put in your kit.  Use it sparingly.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Did you know you can now get the home-study version of the Simple Writing System?

This special package is perfect for do-it-yourself types — learn how to write all the sales messages you need for your biz (ads, websites, videos, etc)…

… at your own pace, in your own sweet time.

For more, go here:

www.simplewritingsystem.com

It’s a smokin’ bargain…