Saturday, 2:24am
Reno, NV
“If you see my little red rooster, please send him home…” (Howlin’ Wolf)

Howdy…

Just a quick dispatch here to let you know all is well, and I’ll be getting back to regular blogging soon.

I got waylaid by some things, including my first serious sports injury ever: A major boo-boo in my rotator cuff. Which is a marvel of biological engineering, but nevertheless prone to problems in people who insist on abusing it over a long lifetime.

So, while it doesn’t really qualify as a Shakespearean tragedy (yet), it has still consumed a lot of my time with MRIs, x-rays, doc visits, and now long painful (“Ow! Ow! Hey, that hurts, mofo! Ow, you did it again!“) physical therapy sessions.

Stuff like that can take over your brain for a few weeks. I’m not complaining — I have too many friends with more dire health problems (and I’ve been through other surgery dramas with people close to me many, many times) that puts this in perspective.

In fact, tonight — after another round with that sadistic physical therapist (the bastard) — I’m relatively pain-free, and able to type without problem.

And I’ve got several blog posts mapped out in draft form, waiting for my attentions. (With titles like “The Sociopaths Who Are Eating Your Lunch”, and “Learning How To Brag”… really fun, and essential stuff for anyone looking to live a better life and make more moolah without guilt.)

But it’s already Superbowl weekend, so you’re gonna have to wait a little longer for a real post. I’ve got an old, cherished college pal and his son (to whom I’m kinda like an uncle) coming up for what is now our rock-solid tradition: We find the sleaziest sportsbook in downtown Reno, settle in, and enjoy the chaos and pompous nonsense of the grand game amongst the weirdest set of characters this side of a Fellini movie.

God, it’s fun. And I expect Madonna’s halftime show to rile up the geezers in the crowd (and we can only hope for a few wrestling matches between blowhards and bums as people take the game personally).

This is our seventh year doing this. It’s a tradition. A day of futility, bowing to the corporate overlords on TV, sharing an American rite of bacchanalia unrivaled in other countries. For one glorious day, we get to let our classless Freak Flags fly among our fellow citizens, and stare at the same show for several hours.

It’s a little like when the Beatles were on Ed Sullivan. (That was a still-not-broken record crowd of 73 million, back when the nation’s population was HALF the current size. Boggles the brain.)

And I don’t even have a dog in the race. G-men, Pats, whatever. I lost interest when the 49ers got bumped. But I’ll work up a lusty howl for one of the teams anyway, and get my game on.

WARNING: Though I advise against it, I may (key word: may) post on Facebook during the melee. My rule is Don’t Drink And Post, of course… but it’s the Superbowl! C’mon, man. Loosen up a little. Life’s short.

If you’re not a “friend” on my Facebook page, then first: Shame on you.

And second: Go here to see why a few thousand people make it a regular pitstop in their day: www.facebook.com/john.carlton

I bounce between insightful business advice (the stuff you never hear about elsewhere, like the psych tricks behind great salesmanship) and casting a jaded (but usually amusing) eye on the culture at large.

I expect any posts this weekend to be in the latter category. But you never know! I might have a money-making epiphany while watching Madonna bellow at halftime.

So, okay… I’m outa here for now.

Again — I’m fine. I’ve got multiple hot posts coming up… and also some great news for entrepreneurs.

Meantime, stay frosty.

John

Monday, 3:32pm
Visalia, CA
“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” (Sicilian proverb)

Howdy…

I’m handing the blog over to our good buddy Jimbo Curley again this week.  He’s done several guest posts, all hilarious, all excellent insight and info for marketers, writers and anyone in biz.

Jim and I go back a looooooooong time.  And my favorite story of how we became brawling colleagues is included here — this tale sends grown men into gasping fits of laughter whenever Jimbo re-tells it in the bar (where, during seminars, all the REAL networking and professional bonding takes place).  Last week, it was the Phoenix Hilton, for Joe Polish’s and Dean Jackson’s shockingly-good “I Love Marketing” event.

So this is fresh stuff.

Jim’s the real thing.  A top, consistently smokin’ hot copywriter and a keen observer of human behavior (and buying psychology).  He’s an original teacher in the Simple Writing System, and one of the very few writers I’ve personally asked to write FOR me.

This post is must-reading for anyone wondering how their latest and greatest ad is gonna do in the real world.

Warning: Do NOT drink coffee while reading this.  Or you’ll snort it through your nose during the funny parts.  Which is funny in itself, the image of hundreds of readers all over the globe spitting up coffee at their desks at the same time, courtesy of a master storyteller.

Okay, you’ve been warned.

Here’s Jimbo:

Thanks for the intro John.

I’ll dive right in.

Today I want to talk about a Street-Marketing lesson I call “How to take it in the shorts… and love it”.

It’s about how to get qualified critiques for your writing.

First, I’ll hit you with the big setup statement.

Here it is: Writers do not work in teams.

Stay with me on this.

Because while you can divvy up the many tasks necessary for creating a new product… building a house… or robbing a bank…

… you CAN’T do that with writing good copy.

Yes, it’s true that writers often spend time collaborating with dubious friends in coffee shops and bars…

… throwing back shots, playing grab-ass, expressing deep and passionate opinions about things they’d LIKE to write about…

… but let’s face it, THAT is not writing.

That is a little something known as “fun”.

Writing, on the other hand — the actual process of putting words onto a page — is work…

… done by ONE person…

… alone…

… inside his or her own head.

Ernest Hemingway did not whip off chapters while harpooning whales off Nantucket Island or slugging down Orujo with his buddies at a Spanish bullfight.

No. He did it like the rest of us mortals have to…

…in front of a keyboard or putting pen to paper… pounding out copy…

…alone… alone… alone.

Take a moment and allow that idea to settle-in.

It’s important, because the solitaire nature of writing creates a unique problem — especially for the new writer.

It’s something I call the “Blind Spot” effect — that strange phenomena that blocks the writer from actually seeing his or her own work.

It’s kinda like gazing into mirror. While you may be looking at the exact same face that everyone else does…

… you somehow just don’t SEE your face. You know exactly what everyone else looks like, but you don’t know what YOU look like… until other people clue you in.

Weird, huh?

It’s like Kent Jankowski… a silly, clumsy, likable kid that I knew from Catholic grade school in Wisconsin.

When he wasn’t getting slapped around by the nuns, he was busy tripping over his own shoelaces during basketball practice.

Well, in junior-high something wonderful happened to Kent.

High levels of testosterone and good genes transformed his oversized bulbous head from a featureless ball of silly-putty…

… into a perfectly-proportioned chiseled block of marble.

He quite suddenly became a handsome specimen of young manhood, complete with beard stubble and — cue audible gasp from his longtime pals — flocks of lovely young ladies cooing after him.

As he strolled by me one day with the gorgeous Jan Flowers hooked on his arm, a giddy Jankowski leaned toward me and whispered…

“Curley… check it out… Jan Flowers!  Vroom-vroom…”

It was good to see that goofy kid still existed just below the surface.

Anyway… my point is that Jankowski discovered he was a hot commodity not because he was able to judge his own looks in the mirror.

Nope. It was because young women were telling him with words and actions.

This is a little something called “feedback”.

And it’s exactly the same with your writing.

Only the most accomplished and experienced writers can even begin to truly “see” and judge their own work.

I’ve been a working writer for over 25 years and STILL have trouble with blind spots… and absolutely depend on review and feedback.

Problem is, most writers have no clue on WHO to turn to for this kind of critique work.

Okay, here’s a quick story that’ll spell out the FOUR types of feedback available to you.

I’ll keep it brief.  When I was about 10 years old, I spent an afternoon in my room sketching out a pencil drawing of a horse.  (Drawing is a lot like writing… a solitary activity fraught with creative blindspots).

And the masterpiece I created was so amazing… and so near to touching the face of genius itself… that I simply HAD to show it around to various friends and family members.

What happened next taught me a valuable lesson on differentiating between the various kinds of criticism.

I won’t waste your time with all the details, but generally, the feedback I received fell into these categories:

1. Mom. She told me my artwork was “wonderful”, thus confirming everything I already suspected about my killer horse-drawing skills.

2. The older neighbor kid. He said the drawing was “stupid” and that I was wasting my time because I was stupid too.

3. My favorite uncle. He told me that he very much liked the “doggie” that I drew…

4. The big brother. He pointed out that the horse’s legs were drawn way too short, thus making it look like a mutant dog.

In general, those are the four types of criticism that you will face too. Let’s cover each of them in a little more detail.

1. First, mom.

Her response was predictable… to lavish praise on me no matter what.  I could’ve drawn a picture of our house burning to the ground with my siblings hanging lifeless from the windows and her response would have been “very nice. Keep up the good work.”

Yes, it’s comforting to know that people love you enough to lie to your face under any circumstances.

Serial killers have mom’s who still love and support them, (“He had nothing to do with those 12 dead people in his basement…”).

But you simply can’t trust the “mom’s” in your life for honest feedback and constructive criticism. Getting a pat on the back for lousy work will NOT help you improve.

2. The older neighbor kid — or what I call the “Eddie Haskell” critic — gets his kicks out of mocking others. He does it for various reasons — jealously, pettiness, envy, sadism, whatever. Who knows.

This type of critic is usually interested in making sure that you don’t make him look bad, and he’s quite prepared to throw a wrench into your gears to stop that from happening.

Learn to recognize these people (it isn’t hard), don’t solicit their opinion, and simply ignore their criticisms.  (Side note from John: The business world is crammed with Eddie Haskell’s like this, folks.  Never, ever, ever underestimate the potential level of jealousy, pettiness, envy and outright cruel sadism undergirding opinions you get from others.)

3. Next… the good-natured uncle, or what I call “from the mouths of babes”. This can actually be quite useful feedback. In fact, if you’re like most new writers, this is probably the only useful kind of critique available to you.

It’s “from the hip” comments that can pull back the curtain and shed some light on your blind spots.

For example, a few years back, I was raking leaves on a cold and windy autumn day. After a couple hours I finished up, bagged-up the leaf piles, and returned into the house.

As I removed my shoes, my 4-year-old grandson looked up at me with a puzzled expression and said:  ”Grandpa… you look like a clown.”

I was shocked.  A clown? What the…

I knew the boy couldn’t be openly insulting me… for Pete’s sake, he was 4 years old.

I glance into the hallway in the mirror and — sure enough — my small tan beanie-hat, windblown hair, and red nose made it look like I was ready to pile out of a miniature car with 35 other friends.

For a writer, this kind of honest feedback can be pure gold.

Because when well-intentioned people inadvertently blurt out untrammeled insights — it can provide you quick inroads to trouble areas of your work.

I mean, if a favorite uncle thought my horse was a dog… or an innocent child said I looked like a clown… well, it makes no sense to argue with that kind of insight. (“Damn you, Uncle, that’s a horse not a dog…”).

Instead, set aside your ego and USE the feedback.  This is where the cool, ego-less attitude of the real professional comes in.

In direct response writing, especially, you can glean stunningly-useful information this way.

For example: I often plop down my copy in front of people I consider to be a perfect prospect for the product I’m writing about.

I KNOW I have a winner when they ask if they too can buy the product.

In one instance my unsuspecting subject asked how the client “could afford to give away so many free bonuses”. I knew right then and there that at least THAT part of the ad copy was effective.

But here’s the thing: You should not DEPEND on this kind of “from the mouths of babes” feedback. It’s hit or miss and is almost never followed up with concrete advice.

Which brings me to the fourth kind of critic:

4. The older brother… or what I call “The Mentor”.

Okay… let’s be clear about something. When it comes to direct sales copywriting, there’s usually serious money on the line…

… building websites, PPC campaigns, banner ads, shopping carts, hosting, not to mention the hard costs of producing the product itself (including paying the writer, if you’re using a hired gun).

Which means there’s a mountain of pressure on the writer. The ad must perform.

Split testing and continual tweaking will later on help direct and focus the pitch, yes. Wonderful stuff, testing.

However… for the original out-of-the-chute version, you’ve got to start somewhere. You need the raw first effort, to be able to test or tweak.

Which, for the pro writer… means you’re coming up with your best initial “shot in the dark” control piece.

And, with so much on the line… and with you as the only one critiquing the writing at this point… means you need an outside opinion on your work.

Your top-choice option is of course to seek out expert advice from someone who understands the sales process… and can give you specific constructive criticism.

Like my older brother, a self-professed artist, who pointed out the horse’s legs were too short.

THAT is specific constructive criticism.

Or John Carlton.

Some 15 years ago — when we first met — John had me rip-up an ad that I had worked on for over four days.

Our telephone conversation went something like this:

“Hi John. Did you get the ad I faxed you?”

“Yes Jim, I got it. Could you please print it off while we’re on the phone here?”

“I’ve got it open on my computer, John. I’m looking at the ad right now.”

“Good.  Print it off anyway.”

“Uh, John… I could make any edits right here on the computer.”

“No. Print it.”

“Okay… one second.”  Sound of printer clanking away.

“You have it printed yet?”

“Yes, John, I got it.”

“Are you holding in your hands?”

“Yes, John. I’ve got it in my hand right now.”

“Good. Now tear the piece of shit up.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I said tear it up.”

“(sigh) Uh… okay John, I get it. It’s not very good…”

“No-no-no. Jimbo… you’re still not hearing me. Listen very carefully. I want you to set down the phone, hold that copy up to the receiver, and tear it up. I want to HEAR you tearing it up. I would also ask you to burn it, but I’m afraid you’d probably torch your whole damn office in the process.”

I did exactly what he demanded and tore it to shreds.

After that, John started improvising a sales message straight off the top of his head which was a hundred times better than what I had worked on for four long days.

Over the next months John continued to provide me deep insights and feedback on everything I wrote.

He taught me the advanced 17-point layout of a sales message… tricks to overcoming sales-killing objections… how to drive home the most important selling points… super-persuasive bullet-writing tips… how to establish proper voice and cadence… and on and on.

Thus began my road to fortune and fame. Writing sales copy, I learned, is a very specific and delicate process that would NOT come to me in my sleep.

I needed to learn it through coaching and mentoring.

John’s become a lot nicer in his old age. But it was my willingness to accept tough constructive criticism that ultimately allowed me to move forward.  (John used to be oh-so-proud of occasionally making clients cry during his “tough love” consultations… and it’s hilarious to see some of those clients brag about it later, wearing their tears like badges. “Carlton made me cry once.  Thank God I had the sense to get past the pain of that reality check, and implement what he was telling me…”  He’s not a mean guy — in fact, he’s way too generous with his advice and help — but he will not waste time soothing anyone’s ego when money’s on the line, or the future of a business venture.  So, while he’s mellowed somewhat, he’ll still kick your freakin’ butt when you deserve it.)

I now make a very comfortable living from the skills he taught me. You can too.

It’s like something I read from screen writing expert Syd Fields.  He pointed out that there was an extreme SHORTAGE of screenwriters in Hollywood.

What? Shortage of screenwriters in Hollywood? Heck, didn’t every waitress and delivery boy in LA have a tattered script tucked away in their hip pocket ready to whip-out at a moment’s notice?

Yes, Syd acknowledged that WAS the case.

But his point was this: There are very few QUALIFIED screen writers… people who know the craft, understand how to tell a story… and are capable of formatting a script so that a producer can use it as a blueprint to actually MAKE a movie.

It’s the same with writing effective sales message.

There is an extreme SHORTAGE of good direct response writers.

Which means you and other copywriters are now faced with enormous opportunity.

And there’s something else working to your advantage too:  Today, almost all online markets are extremely vulnerable.

It’s true. Prove it to yourself. Take 20 minutes and cruise the internet. The place is a direct marketer’s wet-dream… and yet it’s top-heavy with poor or non-existent sales copy.

Which means one well-written sales campaign could easily high-jack and dominate any one of these markets.

This is once-in-a-lifetime stuff… like strolling the gold fields of California in 1848 deciding which one you’ll tap into.

The downside: History has shown that gaps like this fill up fast. But right now, as it sits, anyone possessing even crude skills to create effective sales copy can crush the competition for their own product…

… or for the products of countless fumbling industries.

But it all hinges on your willingness to set aside the ego and accept some simple construction feedback and coaching advice…

… from someone other than your mom.

Fortune awaits you… but it won’t wait forever.

For better marketing,

Jimmy Curley

P.S. John here again.

Did you spit up coffee?

I’ve seen a lot of people snort stuff out through their nose upon hearing that “Now, tear it up” tale for the first time.  And it’s all true.  (Also true: I’ve mellowed.  A bit.)

Now…

… if you, too, want to learn all the details (and inside sneaky shortcuts) to writing sales message at the same scary level that respected experts like Jimbo (and all the other writers I’ve helped) now regularly perform at…

… then get your butt over to the Simple Writing System right now.

Just go here:

Finally learn the pro-level secrets of writing sales copy… fast, simple and easy.

Just check it out, okay?  See what you’ve been missing.

P.P.S. Also, if you want to see what kind of Tough Love gets ladled out during a standard phone consultation with me, just pop up to the Consulting tab up at the top of this page, and follow the simple instructions for contacting my assistant Diane.

Monday, 8:28pm
Reno, NV
“Just take those old records off the shelf, I’ll sit n’ listen to ‘em by myself…” (Bob Seger)

Howdy…

At the end of this post, I’ll explain how you can win a bitchin’ prize that will make you the envy of all your friends forever.

First, though — let’s learn something about marketing to humans, whadya say?

Here’s two quick “how to deal with the screaming chaos” tips for everyone in business today who’s just a tad freaked-out at the way things seem to changing so damned FAST:

Screaming Chaos-Dealing Tip #1: If you’re older, you need to cultivate solid relationships with younger folks who can help you understand the Zeitgeist of the dominant culture out there.  (Yes, even if you hate it.  Especially if you hate it, actually.)

And I’m not talking about having your nephew program your TV remote while you mow the lawn.

Nope.  I’m talking about entrepreneur-minded young adults, who just happen to be totally wired into the Grid…

… and can translate current trends while offering you some solid, smart perspective.

And…

Screaming Chaos-Dealing Tip #2: If you’re a young entrepreneur, you need to cultivate relationships with geezers who can give you some perspective on how we GOT to this current state of affairs.

Key thing to remember: You must limit your cross-generational relationships to smart, aware, and open-minded people.

Which means you’re fishing in a VERY tiny pool.

For the most part, the generations despise each other.  Partly because of the tendency for folks to stay within their peer group both socially and economically… and partly because most old farts get grumpy, and most young studs develop an intolerable arrogance right after their first flush of pubescence.

I was an arrogant little punk when I was young.  And I remember meeting some girl’s father at a party, who took me aside twice during the evening.  The first time to admonish me (with finger waggling in my face) for having long hair and a bad attitude (and I did), which he insisted was gonna ruin my chances for living a good life (and also negate any chance I had with dating his daughter)…

… and the second time — after he’d drained a bottle of Scotch — he took me aside to tearfully explain how much he wished he was young again (sob, choke) and how us kids had it right about life while his generation was a pack of fools…

… and could I maybe move in with him and his wife and daughter, cuz I was such a wonderful, awesome dude?  (I respectfully declined.)

That pretty much summed up my youthful insight toward the elder generation: Conflicted, embarrassingly creepy when they tried to “rap” with us, and kinda sloppy with the booze.

And I hoped I died before I got old.

Then, one day I was in a big business meeting… and realized I was ten years older than the next oldest entrepreneur in the room.  I had, in what seemed like a freakin’ blink, gone from the young hotshot kid in the room, to the grizzled veteran guy.  Twenty years had passed.

Lemme tell you, I now have some solid respect for the weirdness that is growing older in American culture.

My saving grace is that I’ve never been an “ageist” — defined as someone who discriminates against others on the basis of age.  It’s a stupid concept… but the culture kind of ensures it happens, because there are precious few chances for the generations to legitimately interact and fairly judge each other.

I lucked out.  Back in college, my anthropology prof forced us to get out into the community, find people in the very late stages of life… and record their stories.  (Or flunk her course.  She was an early mentor, and knew how to get stuff done, tell you what.)

THAT was a genuine wake-up call for me. The older generation wasn’t much for trying to communicate with the younger one, and vice versa… (our motto:  ”Don’t trust anyone over 30″)…

… and yet, once all the bullshit labels were yanked away, and real listening occurred…

… well, hell.  These were fascinating people, brimming with life experience I could only hope to encounter myself.  And they had fallen in love, suffered tragedy, made mistakes, lucked into a few good things, and had adventures that made the sci-fi stuff I was devouring look shallow and dull.

It’s not across the board, of course.  Some people never do anything worth telling a story about, and others are just plain boring zombies mad at the world.

But then, this applies equally to many of your peer group, no matter what age you are, or what segment of the socio-economic-ethnic culture you’re from.

So it’s important to always be on the lookout for people of all stripes and thinking that can add value to your life.  Regardless of anything else that defines them.  The real wealth in this all-too-short ride is to enjoy the full gamut of what’s on the menu.

And this brings us to the subject of this post.

Which is very much NOT earth-shaking…

… but is, rather, one of those interesting “little pieces of psychology” that nevertheless work their way into the top of your Bag Of Tricks as a salesman.

The lesson here will help any marketer trying to reach across the generational divide… and give you a hint as to how people have changed in the actual ways they measure each other up.

Here’s the story: Michele’s nephew David is (and I can back this up) among the savviest and most intensely-geared-toward-success entrepreneurs of his generation.  And he’s in his mid-twenties, for cryin’ out loud.

He’s my go-to dude whenever I have questions about how the younger generation thinks and acts.  (His biz is Next Big Sound, a company he started while still at Northwestern that is working with all the big music companies.  It’s basically a focal point online to measure how hot new bands spread their music far and wide.  Very hip, very ultra-modern, very cutting-edge… and taking complete advantage of the Web.)

And yeah, David has helped me program much of the various computerized and mechanical crap I’ve stuffed into my office.  (He’s been a life-saver, especially when I switched from PC to Mac.)

He is as deeply grounded in his generation’s psyche and habits as anyone you’ll meet.

And I’m a glutton for observing the cerebral changes constantly happening in our culture. I like to find sneaky shortcuts to understanding how people in my target markets THINK and ACT.

So… while the following may seem trivial to some readers…

… let me assure you that the underlying psychology is profound for any marketer looking to connect with an audience.

Here’s the exchange David and I had a short time ago:

Yo, David…

In my time (last century), you could walk into someone’s living quarters, spend 5 minutes perusing their record collection and the books on their shelves…

… and pretty much know what you needed to know about them.  Straight, square, hip, cool, interesting, or boring.  (Or how much dough they had, based on the number of new albums vs. used record store buys.) (And how obsessive they were, by how well they treated their collections, and what kind of stereo/turntable/components they had.)

For example: A single Carpenter’s record (or a Yanni cassette) was like 3 straight strikes, if you were dating.  And more than one Yes album (or not owning Dark Side of the Moon) was a sure clue you were dealing with a nerd.

So…

… is there an equivalent for YOUR generation?  Do you hop on Facebook and check out anything specific, say, the way my gen studied albums and bookshelves?

Seems like most iTunes libraries are too large, and too casual, to get much info.  But maybe I’m wrong.

See, my generation didn’t spend money easily.  If you bought an album, you agonized over it.  It meant something.  Same with books.

Now, at 99cents per tune, your Iggy Pop and Queens of the Stone Age mixes don’t necessarily mean you even like the music.  Does it?

Or would you look for more general things, like emo, or trance, or hip hop vs rock, or something like that?

Thanks.  This might be a great blog post (for my generation, and for the marketers in yours).

John

David’s reply (and I’ve left his random capitalization and slang intact… another clue to his gen’s writing style, which reflects their agile thinking processes):

Hi John.

Spoke with a friend about this yesterday and debated the various cultural things we consume that also represent us… came up with a few things:

iTunes library / iPod

What’s in someone’s iTunes library doesn’t mean anything. Our libraries have gotten so stuffed with random hard drive dumps of music over the past 10 years that browsing someone’s library is impossible (it’s too big) and determining their taste from that selection sucks. You nailed it with the ‘costs money to buy an album’ argument that used to hold true, now everything’s so free/cheap there isn’t enough scarcity for it to matter. That is, until you sort someone’s library by play count. Seeing the Top 100 songs someone has listened to is totally telling. Which leads into…

last.fm scrobbling

Last.fm is a sort of popular social network around music that CBS bought for a ton of money a few years back ($280mil). It’s pretty simple – anywhere I listen to music that has the ability to ‘scrobble’ reports to last.fm what I’m listening to and then shows me all sorts of cool stats and my musical affinity with another person. It’s always a good proxy for if I’ll get along with someone.  Here’s my profile: http://www.last.fm/user/dodecasyllabic

fragmentation/long tail/top 40/the radio/the internet

After writing all that I realized two things. There’s been so much talk about the long tail and the internet fragmenting things and there never being another Johnny Carson because how the hell would all of america crowd around our TVs all the time when we have the internet now. That’s the first thing – there’s some fundamental thing that prevents massive selling albums and everyone the same age liking similar stuff. But the second thing is that I think there are really two types of people – those that still listen to the radio and know what’s on the Top 40 and those that only consume via the internet and have no idea what’s ‘popular’. There’s hybrids, of course, but that’s the bigger thing that separates people now – are they ‘internet’ people or normals? My view is probably skewed since I’m pretty much always surrounded by internet people – they find their music on Mp3 blogs and Hype Machine and started subscribing early to rdio like I did.

what blogs they follow in google reader

Seeing what someone chooses to read on a regular basis, and if they choose to read on a regular basis beyond facebook status updates and gossip sites at all, is pretty big.

who they follow on twitter

I like seeing who I follow in common with someone on twitter. That’s telling. They opt-in to these streams… and who they choose says a lot, i think..

So is there an equivalent in my generation? no, probably not. and that’s a bit unfortunate… but you figure it out pretty quickly by putting some music on and seeing how they react. lucky for me I always have an excuse to talk about music because of NBS and that helps figure it out quickly…

David

All right… so is this a huge wake-up call for marketers?

Perhaps… if you’ve been cross-marketing to generations and you hadn’t yet realized how differently each one “measures up” new people.  Or communicates with their peers.

The main lesson: You’re never gonna be totally hip to someone in a different generation.

I mean, I still think the current crop of pop stars are embarrassingly untalented twits… and I will never, ever understand how rap became a cultural mainstay.  (Though I like hip-hop.)

And this comes from a guy who — in my own youth — worshipped garage bands who could barely play their instruments (the Seeds, the Stones, the Ramones, etc)…

… and who remained oblivious of my father’s discontent with “that damn racket“, which was so awfully different than the smooth swing jazz he grew up with in the 40s.

Still… you should try to at least know the fundamentals of how current market segments communicate (or fail to communicate) with each other.  And how peer groups spread the message on anything (your old-school “word of mouth”).

Just don’t be that old guy with a comb-over trying to be hip around the kids, getting all your slang wrong.  (“Hey, kiddo’s, I’m a hip jivester, too, gimme some skin, man…”)

And please — if you’re a kid — don’t tell me your favorite Beatle’s song is “Yellow Submarine” and expect that to start any kind of bonding process.  I was Kinks’ kinda dude, anyway…

PRIZE!

Okay, time for the game.

Here’s the task, and reward: The first person to name all the albums in the photo up top, in the comments section (don’t try to trump anyone by going to Facebook, now)…

… wins a free copy of my book “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel“… personally signed by me.  You’ll be the coolest kid on your block.

This is easily the toughest task I’ve ever had in this blog.  Some of those albums are freakin’ obscure… and there are a couple where all you can see are small bits of the cover.  (If I have to start dropping hints, I’ll start in a day or so.)

I imagine some Boomer who lived a life parallel to mine will scoop this one quickly.  Or some kid who grew up surrounded by Daddy’s tattered album collections…

Anyway, the comment section is open for any thread you wanna start, besides the contest.

Got any good stories or tactics to share on quickly evaluating someone?

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. I might be a big slow to respond in the comments — next week is Golf Week with my old pal and partner Stan Dahl.  Five days of scurrying around the finest links we can locate, with no distractions.

We’ve done this every year for around 15 years now.  Done it in Key West, Los Angeles, San Diego, Orlando, Phoenix, the California coast near Big Sur, Tahoe, Las Vegas…

… all over the freakin’ map.  It’s killer fun.  And I knew we were on to a good tradition when I noticed that other golfers we mentioned Golf Week to always got this misty-eyed look, obviously wishing they could come along.  Or have their own tradition going.

Ah, the stories Stan and I have.  Can’t share ‘em here, of course.

Still, I’ll be checking in through the wonders of the World Wide Web.  So, carry on.

Saturday, 3:26pm
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
“Hot fun in the summertime…” (Sly Stone)

Howdy.

I’ve been doing some Critical Think (trademarked term, by me) about one of the main keys to “real” communication with your fellow humans: Empathy.

Not sympathy.  Empathy is a very different animal — it’s where you essentially walk a mile in the other guy’s shoes.  You start, conduct, and end all conversations with active knowledge of how the other guy is perceiving your side of the tale…

… and you actually give a damn how he’s reacting.

Empathy is not just a secret weapon in your tool kit…

… it’s the freakin’ nuclear bomb of high-end communication.

And it’s so powerful, because most folks simply do not possess it.  The vast majority of your neighbors and brethren think, speak and act from inside a confining little echo chamber where their own prejudices, beliefs, notions and cockamamie thoughts completely dominate.

And there is almost zero chance of anything contrary penetrating that white noise in their brains.

Thus, marketers get mad at customers, entrepreneurs ignore opportunity and pitfalls with equal obliviousness, and biz owners with superior products are passed over by prospects.

You know who wins?  Savvy politicians, con men, and psychopaths.  The dudes who cynically know how to turn on the charm and say all the right things to get what they want.

By far the hardest thing I’ve been trying to teach people over my career… is that good salesmanship is a tool.  Like a hammer.  A hammer works to pound nails into the foundation of your dream house… just as effectively as it can pound holes in the head of your mother-in-law when you finally lose it.

The hammer doesn’t care who’s using it, or for what purpose.

That’s why, when I teach high-end salesmanship, I express the fervent hope that anyone using what I teach to push unethical shit will die and rot in hell.

And that using good salesmanship tactics will vastly improve the bottom line for ethical, honest businesses.  Because the tactics that work to persuade people to vote for corrupt politicians, or sleep with smooth-talking psychos, or buy into scams…

… also work to deliver good policies, find true love, and fill your life with excellent products that do what they’re supposed to do.

It’s just ironically harder to convince decent folks to USE these tactics. The con-men jump on it, because they pay attention to the bottom line (and often only get one shot at convincing their victim to come aboard… so they’re not interested in anything that doesn’t persuade, and persuade quickly).

My goal is to force people to realize what’s going on… so they don’t get fooled, and they understand how to sell and influence others through good salesmanship practices.

And smack at the top of the list of good salesmanship tools…

… is empathy.

So how do you boost your empathy muscles?  How do you go from being oblivious of your fellow humans, to actually understanding where they’re coming from?

Easy.

You simply stop reacting to life as it swirls around you…

… and start looking critically at how you, and others, deal with stuff.

How about some real-world examples from the real world laboratory we all live in, examined critically:

Real World Lab Example #1: Recently, I was pretty much molested by TSA while going through security at the local airport.

It pissed me off.  I copped an attitude.  And I very did not enjoy being:

(a) manhandled…

(b) ordered around by someone whose prior job was flipping burgers, who robotically repeated consoling words in a threatening manner (obey or die)…

(c) exposed to x-rays I didn’t want…

(d) given no alternative choices…

(e) all in a futile piece of badly-performed theater that I knew did nothing to make me safer in that airport.

The normal reaction, of course, is to put a muzzle on your fury, just get through the gauntlet without being profiled (or hauled off to the interrogation room), and move on to the next indignity of modern air travel as quickly as possible.

Ah… but for the student of salesmanship, this is an excellent opportunity to Critical Think (trademarked) the situation…

… and catalog both your own emotional reactions, AND the ongoing mental state of the TSA employees.

That’s hard to do, at first.  Because your instinct is to be victimized by your own responses, and, at best, not to dwell on them.  Most folks truly believe we have no control over emotions, and it’s our lot to just float on the surface of Life like flotsam, bounced about and drifting with the tide.

Which isn’t so. It’s a shock at first to realize that you actually have TOTAL control over your emotional state… including all adrenaline dumps.

But you do have that control available to you.  It’s not part of the default setting in your system, however.  So while you gotta work to master it… it can nevertheless be done.

And you start by cataloging what you’re feeling when overtaken by emotion.

Where are you feeling it?  Did your stomach tighten up?  Did your shoulders hunch, while a jungle-level snarl curled your lip?  Did your eyes narrow, fists clench, chin jut?

How infuriated were you?  Would you rejoice if one of your abusers suddenly curled up in a heart attack?

Or would an honest apology from one of them have dissipated your rage like a sponge soaking up a spill?

Don’t let this opportunity to examine and catalog your state pass by.

Even better… try to see it from the other side, too.

TSA employees, most of them, are just doing their job.  They don’t make the rules, and most of them are embarrassed and just as not-happy as you are about the whole mess.

Others are Little Hitlers, and love their power over you.  And will use it in a heartbeat if you piss THEM off.  It’s a war of pissed-offed-ness.

For all of them… you’re somewhere between a fellow human just trying to get through security, and a blob of nastiness they must deal with until lunchtime.

How does this help you as a salesman?

Are you kidding?  Have you never dealt with an angry customer?  Have you never gotten mad yourself with prospects who refuse to see the logic of your offer, or who use your product incorrectly, or who lie to get a refund?

A sales transaction, at its most fundamental form, is an inherently hostile act.  Both the buyer and the seller want the best possible deal.

Happiness ensues when it’s perceived as a bargain, yet yields profit.

However, even happy deals can turn nasty when something goes sideways.  As a customer, you can become enraged if you believe you were “taken”, or have buyer’s remorse, or expected results do not happen.  And your fury is righteous, because you’re completely right, and the seller is an evil troll.

As a business owner, you can get your panties in a twist if you have to bring in a collections agency, or face refund requests long after the clearly-stated deadline, or bend over backward to create a killer bargain that leaves you with scraps of profit only to have the idiot customer complain or otherwise ignore your good deed.

And your fury is righteous, because the buyer is an evil troll.

For most folks, the process stops right there, with each party seething and believing they’re on the side of the angels.

A world-class salesman, however, never gets into a head-butting duel when he can just as easily use empathy to see all sides of the story and thus also see the opportunities available to smooth things over… and even enrich the buyer/seller relationship.

You know how to gut the rage directed your way? You empathize.

For me, I felt the pissiness drain instantly when a single TSA employee said with utter earnestness “Sorry about all this.  I hope the rest of your trip goes really smooth.”  I was disarmed of my fury, and even smiled.

And I put the experience in my mental notebook, cuz I know it’ll come in handy.

Real World Lab Example #2: While leaving the plane at our destination, I noticed that the guy ahead of was about to lose his wallet because the bottom of his back pocket had split.

No, I wasn’t looking at his ass.  I was just navigating the jet-way.  There weren’t any asses in that motley group of fellow passengers worth looking at.  Sigh.  Not like that time I flew into Miami in a plane loaded with a women’s volleyball team…

Where was I?

Oh, yeah.  So I excuse myself to the guy as I pass, and say “Dude, you’re about to lose your wallet.”

He looks at me in confusion, having been jostled out of his travel daze.  He quickly puts a hand on his wallet, which is still there…

… and then levels a gaze of pure suspicion and budding anger back at me.  An immediate WTF reaction to someone talking about his wallet.

“Your back pocket’s split open,” I said.  And suddenly, as he felt the pocket and realized I wasn’t a gloating thief, he was all thankful and apologetic…

… and feeling like he owed me a favor or something.

The difference between him thinking I was up to something no good… and thinking I was a good guy just trying to help… was two seconds worth of communication.

If I hadn’t explained the situation — and left it at the first comment — he may have called over a cop.  With another breath of explanation, however, I was a hero.

Something to consider as you make your sales messages lean and mean.  There’s a point where you can strip it down too far, and lose the meaning you intended.

And all hell can break loose if you do.

Real World Lab Example #3: Finally… during my trip, I hung out with my grand-nieces and grand-nephew at both the hotel pool, and later at Huntington Beach.  (And yes, I went down the water slide head-first, and took a boogie-board into the surf.  The most satisfying, raw summer fun imaginable sober.)

At the pool, there was a woman sunning herself, who avoided acknowledging anyone else’s presence.  A gang of alcohol-addled dudes wandered up, spoke briefly with her, and she waved them off happily as they left for more debauchery.

I decided to work my communication skills… and asked her if she was in town for a school reunion.  Because, I continued, those thugs she was with looked like buddies who hadn’t partied together for a while.

That main thug, she said, was her husband.  And nope, they were from Minnesota and here for a wedding.  She just wanted to soak up some California sun while the boys pretended they were back in college again.

This woman, who a minute ago was oblivious to my existence, was now a Chatty Cathy eager to know what our story was…

… and (this is important) just laughed when I called her husband a thug.

That could have gone the other way, you know.  But I was pretty sure I understood her situation — like a good detective (as all great salesman are), I put together multiple clues and figured out (almost) what her situation was.  And by applying my own experience with both being out-of-town for an event, wanting to do something different than everyone else (sun by the pool instead of drink beer to the point of vomiting)…

… and not minding a little conversation with strangers.

Calling her hubby a thug could have started a brawl.  But in the context — by applying the smallest amount of bonding by showing insight — it got a laugh.

This was carefully applied communication.

Later, at the beach, our group — 6 adults and 3 kids — was asked to move by a lifeguard… because a vicious riptide was dragging people out to sea at the spot we had just set up.

As we picked up our ridiculous load of blankets, towels, food, umbrellas, boogie boards and other beach paraphernalia…

… I noticed another large family just beginning to settle down.  So I went up and told the mother about the warning from the now-gone lifeguard.

She looked at me in near-despair.  And I realized that she was thinking “Oh great… NOW where do we go?”  I hadn’t given her the complete story.

So I told her that the lifeguard had said the riptide eased up just past Station 6, right down the beach about 50 yards.

This simple exchange of specifics took her instantly from knowing there was a problem, but not knowing what to do next…

… to having a clear roadmap of what to do.

Essentially, I “sold” her on not being a victim to a problem she hadn’t even known existed… and gave her an easy solution.

These examples may seem small, but I assure you the vast majority of your fellow humans botch it up almost every time.  They half-communicate, and cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings and suspicion.  They mumble, they’re vague… and they’re smug when they win and pissy when they lose.

Living life fully aware gives you communication tools that will change your life… and the lives of people you deal with.

Work on your own chops.  And never let a good chance to explore both sides of a situation go to waste.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. All comments welcome.  Cuz I know what you’re thinking…

Saturday, 7:14pm
Reno, NV
“Out of 9 lives, I’ve lived 7…” (The Band, “The Shape I’m In”)

Howdy…

I almost called this post “Web 2.oh no!”

And I know I’m just gonna scratch the surface here…

… but a few rules need to be laid down by somebody concerning this “Brave New World of No Freakin’ Privacy Left At All”.

Now, I’ve never noticed much “common sense” actually being very common among my fellow humans…

… but Jeez Louise, the arrival of social media and smart phone cameras has turned us all into ethically-challenged TMZ-level paparazzi.  No sense of right or wrong, no sense of crossing a line or going too far.

And people are gonna get hurt.

Do we need a collective and not-very-subtle whack upside the head here?  Metaphorically speaking, that is.

You decide…

Slap Some Sense Into You Rule #1: Just because you have a camera and recording capabilities on your smart phone, doesn’t mean you have a license to USE it.

Yes, the rest of the world is hurtling toward a Zuckerberg-envisioned future where “privacy” will be a quaint notion that strangely only irritates geezers… sort of like how we now view petticoats, doo wop and basic manners.

However, I would caution privacy-anarchists that this “nothing you do is a secret to us” mindset is how Stalinist Russia maintained control over citizens (see also “1984″, by George Orwell).

Now, what you do in your own sordid life is up to you, of course.  Including allowing basic privacy rights to be dismantled and shed.

However, as a professional, you’ve got to recognize boundaries.  Because there’s a lot at stake here.

We may need to amend The Professional’s Code.  The original (and I’m pretty sure this is my phrasing):  ”You show up where you said you’d be, when you said you’d be there, having done what you said you’d do.”

Now, we gotta add:  ”And you won’t take a freakin’ photo without getting permission.”

The reason I think we need this new rule is directly related to a couple of incidents at After-Hours parties during seminars.  I love hanging out with other writers and the strange breed of entrepreneur now dominating the biz world.  These cats are fun, smart, and brimming with fascinating tales of Life In The Marketing Fast Lane.

They also tend to play as hard as they work.

Which means the “insider’s only” after-hours parties can look, to an outsider, like one part college dorm bacchanalia, one part Special Forces hazing, and one part Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test.

Now, I assure you that — as far as I know — the parties only look like this to an outsider.

Except for a few truly-insane individuals (who I suspect are headed for the hoosegow anyway), these after-hours celebrations are just collaborative ways to let off steam.  And share war stories with pals.  And laugh heartily and with gusto at M*A*S*H-level puerile humor.  Maybe pull a prank or two.

Okay, and maybe a little singing too loudly, off-key.  Until hotel security shows up.

The thing is, you’re hanging out having fun with people you like…

… and trust.

And I’m pretty sure that snapping photos or recording conversations with the idea of embarrassing someone is a pretty basic violation of that trust…

… and rises to the level of assault when it can harm someone professionally.

Okay, fine… if you’re a licensed detective out to catch a cheating spouse, you’re excused, I suppose.  (And you — why the hell are you cheating, anyway, you no-good louse?)

But if you’re not packing a gumshoe ID, then why are you snapping shots of anything that could be seen as compromising the integrity, or the reputation of a colleague?

And before you mimic the Google buzz-brain CEO who said (on CNBC) “… if you don’t want anyone to know, maybe you shouldn’t be doing it in the first place…”

… just check out the latest round of career-ending gaffes among celebs, politicians, biz owners, and innocent students.

In most cases, they tweeted or texted or said something stupid… and everyone would have long since forgotten about the faux pas IF IT HADN’T GONE FUCKING VIRAL.

You can argue that stupidity is a perfectly acceptable reason to lose your job, or your social standing, or even your self-respect.

However, one glance at the astonishment on the faces of the virally-crushed victims shows you that — minus the Web — they were absolutely not anticipating global blowback from their casual asides or what they mistakenly thought were cute posts.

We’re talking about tasteless jokes from professionally-tasteless comics (Gilbert Gottfried)… clueless coeds who just need a reality check (the UCLA student who posted a rant about Asians talking on cellphones in the library)… and kids getting nailed with sex offender records for sexting each other.

And that’s just in the last couple of days.

I dunno know about you… but even after multiple decades making my way through society, I still say more stupid things than smart things.

And I can think of a hundred times, right off the top of my head, where I said or did something offensive or insulting or tasteless… and immediately wished I could take it back.

That’s what humans do.  Make mistakes.

Hopefully, you’re doing your best to clean up your messes, make real amends (not just mumble “sorry, dude”), and strive to become a Zen self-actualized person.  So you limit the damage you do caroming off the culture as you blunder along the best you can.

Just keep the Golden Rule in mind at all times, if you get confused about the appropriateness of what you’re about to share on the Universe-Wide-Web:  Do unto others, as you would have them do unto you.

And if you really, really, really don’t care if that shot of you picking your nose goes viral…

… because you have no boundaries or sense of privacy…

… then at least get in the habit of asking people if it’s okay to take a photo or record a moment.

And take “no” for a final answer, dude.

Slap Some Sense Into You Rule #2: Self-inflicted idiocy is not permission to pile on.

The 3 examples I used above are all of tweets, posts and texts that were voluntarily launched into the ether.

In our freshly-soiled world of TMZ-paparazzi-rules, you’re ripe for public flogging and humiliation if you do nothing more than step into view somewhere.  Or “allow” yourself to be caught by a camera (with or without audio).

So self-inflicted embarrassment offers no immunity at all from global shunning.

Nevertheless… at the end of the day, you — as the person helping something go viral — gotta live with yourself.

One of my favorite ways of dealing with assholes is to remember that I can walk away and get on with my life…

… while the asshole has to go home, go to bed, and wake up as the same pathetic loser jerkwad he was the day before.

So while he may have won a skirmish with me, overall he’s trapped in a living hell.  I wouldn’t want to spend 5 seconds inside his skin, dealing with whatever demons have made him such an insufferable wanker.

What’s this got to do with forwarding a photo?

Think about it.

A real pro doesn’t just consider the stuff he might get caught doing.  He also cares when it’s simply a matter of anonymously doing the right thing or not.

There IS karma in this world.

And even the smallest act of piling on makes you guilty as hell when someone gets hurt.

Slap Some Sense Into You Rule #3: “PWC”.

That means “Posting While Compromised”.

Don’t do it.

Like angry emails, the best advice is to get cold before hitting “send” whenever your inhibitions have been doused with liquor, strong emotions, or anything else.

Just don’t do it.

What may seem like just the coolest friggin’ thing to post on your Wall at the moment…

… is — if you’re pickling your brain — probably not cool at all.

And you shouldn’t be sharing it.

Tomorrow, looking at it with a clear head (but blood-shot eyes), you still have oodles of time to post, hit “send”, or upload.

We shouldn’t need basic rules like this.

But the evidence shows we do.  Especially as professionals trying to have a little mildly-inappropriate fun after working hard to create solid, ethical and high-quality deliverables under deadline.

A very old, and very excellent piece of advice for living well is:  ”Dance like nobody’s watching.”

It’s a metaphor for living life on your terms, not somebody else’s.

It’s just damn hard to pull off when you realize there are fifty cameras aimed your way, ready to immediately upload hilarious evidence to the cloud if you screw up.

And here’s a note to Zuckerberg: You’re gonna miss your privacy when it’s gone, dude.

Hey — you got a different take on all this?

Let’s hear it in the comments.

Stay frosty,

John

Wednesday, 10:36pm
Reno, NV
“To the moon, Alice!” (Ralph Kramden)

Howdy…

I’m recycling a post from a little while back, because it’s on a subject that can never be discussed too many times…

… especially when it’s important that you establish a real, visceral connection with people to make your business work.

In fact, what I’m bring up here is much more critical to creating effective advertising than many of the obvious things people tend to focus on (like “long copy versus shot copy”, or how to test offers).

Listen: If you understand how to use the powerful tool explained below…

… you can screw up almost every other part of creating your ad (or video, or website, or email, or whatever you’re using to get your story across)… and still crush it with results.

So ignore the details in this dusty post (like references to “Six Feet Under”, that great HBO series now long-gone)…

… and know that the insight revealed here will forever be one of the most influential you’ll ever use in marketing.

In fact, it’s just becoming more and MORE important as social media and info-overwhelm continues to nudge everyone toward ADHD-Land, where attention spans are pathetic and fundamental human emotions like empathy wither.

Here’s the post (with a few edits and some added stuff):

Jeez Louise. Did you catch Sunday’s episode of “Six Feet Under”, with the jarring funeral scenes?

It was… shattering.

I was jarred back to every funeral I’d ever attended, and had emotions wrung out of me I’d long forgotten about.

Screw reality TV. The truly well-written fictional shows (most of them on HBO) can still rattle your cage like classic literature.

That episode was quality emotional-wringing.

Got me thinking, too. About empathy. And writing.

I’ve known people who seem to have shut down their empathy gears… and it becomes evident when they lose the ability to get outside of themselves and see the world from other people’s viewpoint.  Movies require you to emotionally connect with the characters…

… and I recall uncles who fell asleep during the pea-soup-spewing scenes in “The Exorcist”…

… friends who laughed all through “Jaws”…

… and (in a real-world example) even an acquaintance who wondered what the big deal was when a colleague freaked out over a cherished cat’s sudden demise.

I also first saw “Saving Private Ryan” with a friend who was still a little shaky over his years in Vietnam during the war. He’d asked me to see it with him for moral support… and while he didn’t seem to have a tough time watching the movie, I kept an eye on him anyway, not sure what sort of poison might be brewing back up.

Those three films — and my experience with pets and people dying and careers ending and relationships imploding — were all emotionally jarring on various levels. And they were executed by master craftsmen, using scripts written by writers who knew where the tender spots were in most audiences.

I always feel a little estranged from people who either are — or claim to be — removed from emotional reactions.

In real life, we mostly experience things from inside our heads or along the contours of our immediate senses. It’s a claustrophobic point-of-view even the best Hollywood-quality cameras can’t yet mimic. In real life, everything happens just outside (or just within) our personal space, moment by moment, with no editing and no replay button.

When you personally feel emotional trauma, it’s a shock-inducing trial by fire that consumes you.

However, watching a TV show or a movie is a removed experience — pure voyeurism. You’re not there. It’s not happening to you. It shouldn’t have the same power as real life.

And yet… sometimes all the emotion of the real experience IS there, bubbling up from deep inside.

All the good writers I know are drenched with emotional self-knowledge and empathy for the emotional experiences of others. We aren’t walking around sobbing hysterically… but we are easily overcome with the feeling of a situation.

Sometimes too easily. Several times, while speaking at seminars, I’ve gone off on tangents about something I really cared about, and felt myself start to choke up. I had to back off, and take a long moment to settle down and re-gather my wits. I know other speakers — the good ones — have had similar experiences.

And I often — often — finish writing something and realize I’ve got tears streaming down my face, and I’m deep into a tub of emotional goo I’ve created as I type.

This extra dose of emotion is no accident. You cannot be a good writer without empathy — without understanding, personally, what it’s like to feel everything humans are capable of feeling.

At full strength, too. The industrial-quality stuff.

The intensity of your ability to feel infuses your writing with power, and a connection to the most complex tragedies, comedies and dramas of human interaction.

In short… feeling strong emotions is a good thing.

If your emotions are in lock-down… from a bad childhood, or from a misguided sense of what it takes to be a man or woman (or leader or executive or parent or biz owner or anything else)… you will never be able to get into another person’s head.

And you’ll never find that sweet spot of need and connection that makes great literature great… and great sales copy a license to print money.

You don’t have to become a Drama Queen.

But you do need to stop pretending that emotions are some foreign intrusion on your coolness. Embrace your ability to know joy, sadness and yes, even pain. These are the building blocks of a well-lived life… and of a very, very, very effective writer.

No one gets out of here without a few tears.

Be a sap. It will help you engage with life more fully, and write with real passion.

Step One: Examine your capacity for empathy right now.  Watch a TV show critically, and know that in most dramas there will be set times when the writers have inserted emotionally-rigged triggers for viewers — they are purposefully trying to tweak your heartstrings or your feelings of fear, sadness, or hope for the good guy to win.

Check yourself for responses.  I know that every episode of “House”, for example, will test me emotionally (usually 47.5 minutes into the show, when a moment of truth arrives for the patient).  (Just kidding — I haven’t timed it.  But I’ll bet I’m close.)  ”SVU – Special Victims Unit” will present the same assault on your emotions.  Re-runs of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Two And A Half Men” are rife with them.

You don’t need to burst into tears to know your empathy gears are working.  But you do need to know HOW you respond to both well-written and poorly-written attempts to tweak your heart and ability to care about others.

Step Two: Your life daily presents you with endless opportunities to embrace your full humanity….

… most of which we self-train ourselves to ignore, dismiss, or even fear.

Get over it.

We are, fundamentally, emotional beings… who have created cultures where open displays of emotion are frowned upon, regarded with horror, or at least saddled with restrictions.

It screws us up in spectacular ways.

As a writer, it’s your job to transcend the shackles of repression that hobble others.  You need to give your emotions a daily work-out, strengthen them, know them as well as you know your favorite tastes, smells and visual pleasures…

… and, most of all, you need to respect them.

The world’s gone shallow on us.  That’s a HUGE opportunity for every writer who gets comfortable with emotion (and especially empathy), and knows how to use it to raise his messages above the puddles of feeling now dominating most folks’ lives.

So sap up.  The best writers are fully aware of EVERY part of being human, and this is the big part.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Hey — on a cool side note…

… if you love rock n’ roll (including alt, rockabilly, grunge, hair bands, etc) and enjoy insights to the seedier side of our culture (TV, Hefner’s mansion, gaudy and desperate grabs for attention)…

… I’ve got the perfect book for you:  ”Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead“, by our pal Neil Strauss.  (Yeah, the guy who wrote “The Game”.)

Get it on Amazon here.

Neil sent me an advance copy, and I can’t put the damn thing down.  It’s all the juicy parts of his interviews with rock royalty (and the even more notorious rock gutter-dwellers) and cultural celebrities that the magazines refused to print (or just couldn’t).  And there are decades worth of jaw-dropping shit here.

Hide this from the kids.

This is a deep, dark, zany and revealing insider’s view of a vast part of our modern civilization.  Neil is a go-for-the-jugular interviewer (which is why a lot of this stuff couldn’t be released before)…

… and for anyone looking for an instant way to get hip to the appeal of “bad boys”, the insanity of celebrity worship, and the bizarre (yet disturbingly-effective) ways culture-movers think…

… this is must-read material.

As a writer, you need to see how this guy does interviews.  Read and learn.

As a marketer, you need to own this insider look at one of the driving forces in the biz world (music, celebrity, media, etc).

And, just as someone living in this wacky world, you need to be alerted (immediately!) to the way your fellow humans are acting, thinking, and plotting.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish you were there with Neil during the interviews (and the shows, and the after-parties)…

… and you’ll want to go hug your loved ones and give thanks your life isn’t being lived in the spotlight.

Killer stuff.  Just grab the damn book, and dive in.

Get it here on Amazon.

Sunday, 3:25
Tampa Bay, Florida
“So I said to the captain, please bring me my wine… he said we haven’t had that spirit here since 1969…” (Hotel California, of course)

Howdy.

Another guest blog post here (while I’m off to get ready for the totally awesome Action Seminar down in sunny San Diego this coming weekend)…

… by our good friend (and notorious freelance copywriter) Kevin Rogers.

I asked him to share the stories below, because they cracked me up when he first told them to me…

… and I realized the lessons for entrepreneurs here are just as solid as the stuff I picked up (early in my own career) from the street-wise salesmen I hung around.

Those real-world lessons from the dudes who knew how to close a deal face-to-face are critical to any decent sales process… even if you’re completely digital and never actually meet your prospects in the flesh.

This stuff is pure gold.  So listen up.  Here’s Kevin…

Thanks, John.

Okay, let me tell you a story about why bellmen don’t mind wearing those goofy uniforms at busy hotels and resorts… and how the lessons I learned in the job fit so well in the entrepreneurial world.

It’s true.  One of the most eye-opening jobs I held in my previous life — before freelance copywriting — was as a main entrance bellman here in Florida.

I learned more about “street-smart selling” in my short time in that role than from any other gig, including stand-up comic, bartender, or even Marketing VP of an online real estate company.

Here’s why…

To make any money at bellhopping, you’ve got to master the careful art of qualifying your prospects. This is ultimately where any business lives or dies.

And there’s really no difference between doing it online or live in the flesh.

Everything you need to know about your best customers takes place in the short trip from “curb to curtains” as we used to call the guest-vetting process in the hotel biz.

The entire exchange might last only seven minutes, but, done right, could easily lead to an extra fifty, a hundred or even $300 in cash (my personal best) from just one guest.  (That guest was an NFL legend, too… and I’ll share the tale with you in a moment.  Killer lesson for marketers…)

Yet, as crucial as knowing the inner workings of your prospect is… one of the most perplexing questions for any marketer I consult with remains: “Who is your ideal customer?”

I’ve watched high profile marketing “gurus” crumble to bits at this simple question.

Of course, nobody wakes up one day with this knowledge… and, like anything worth doing, you’ve got to be willing to engage with life to learn the most valuable lessons.  And make the mistakes you may need to make in order to figure it all out.

I remember the first time (as a wet-behind-the-ears rookie) the other bellman generously allowed me to greet a pair of guests pulling up the hotel drive in a Mercedes Benz.

“This one’s all you, dude,” said the bell captain.

“Seriously? It’s not even my up,” I said, grabbing the shiniest cart.  Oh, boy, I thought.  These guests just reeked of cash.

“It’s cool, man… go get ‘em.”

I spent a full 25 minutes coddling Mr. & Mrs. Mercedes… filling their ice bucket, carefully hanging garments and fielding a barrage of questions about where they could eat while accommodating their “special diets” — even offering to score them VIP discounts at the best restaurants…

… only to be handed a juicy tip of ONE dollar.

I returned to the lobby to find the other bellman smirking as he hustled along his second or third guest since I’d left.

I’d just learned my first real-world lesson in customer profiling.

Now, profiling may be a taboo tactic at airport security, but on a sales floor it’s pure survival tactic.

True… most guys named Mohammed are NOT security threats, and long-haired dudes aren’t always crotching a bag of weed…

… but, for some reason, 99% of older couples driving Mercedes sedans ARE guaranteed to tip their bellman one measly dollar. (Test results over my bellman career were very consistent.)

The gig got more fun once I escaped the downtown Hilton and finagled my way into the most prestigious 5-star resort in town — an elegant beachfront castle called the Don CeSar that felt straight out of Casablanca, with a lobby that screamed “easy livin’”.  (It’s the swanky place behind me in the above photo.)

This time, the lessons arrived a little easier.  The suave, veteran resort bellhops took pity on the rookie, and taught me how to get beyond the confines of the “Gopher” uniform…

… force the guests to look me in the eye…

… and collect the big bucks by providing what it was they really wanted from their stay.

This was my first lesson in becoming, as John often preaches: “The Adult in the Room”.  The person who commands respect (no matter what you’re wearing) and puts clients at ease… while delivering the goods that fit the prospect’s needs like a glove.

There is a simple 3-step process to becoming the Adult in the Room (to steal John’s phrase).  I first developed my version of it in my bellman gig… and this process can help any marketer better serve their customers, make loads more money and build a business that lasts.

In fact, with a little practice, it can guide any entrepreneur or freelance service provider to earn new levels of respect (the key to commanding top fees) from appreciative clients.

Here are the steps:

Step One: Find a starving market, then dig in deep.

Gary Halbert famously said that given the choice of any one advantage when opening a hamburger stand, he’d choose “a starving crowd.”

That’s one of those head-slapping marketing fundamentals that still gets overlooked, at the cost of fortunes, even by entrepreneurs who should know better.

McDonald’s didn’t become McDonald’s by setting out to make the world’s best hamburger. They got there by setting up grills and cash registers in the most trafficked areas on the planet.

Online (especially if you’re selling info products) you’re not going to make your best money serving cheap stuff to the masses.  That model works to an extent, but if you’re after the major bucks, you’ll want to identify the “whales” in the crowd (or, as Halbert called ‘em, “Players With Money”).

To pull this off, you do want to attract the largest amount of prospects possible into your world (i.e. your sales funnel)… so you can start the identification process… and that means giving away irresistible freebies.

As a bellman, we knew the plum opportunities were at the joints bustling with customers (not the places with crickets chirping in the lobby, no matter how famous the name).  And then, once we scored a position in the heart of the starving crowds (even in those starched Gopher uniforms that made us look like AWOL soldiers from the city of Oz) we learned to instantly sift through the “freebee seekers” and identify the best prospects… and get busy.

Here’s how…

Step Two: Provide value and open a dialogue.

For bellmen, the ultimate “elevator chat” occurs just after check-in, while escorting guests to their rooms.

This is akin to welcoming visitors to your squeeze page… where your job is, first, to discover what your best prospects really want (that they often aren’t even thinking of yet)… and then, to be that person who delivers it to them.

Some examples from the hotel:

If it’s a family and they plan to visit the amusement parks… we would hook ‘em up with discount tickets and shuttle service, remind them to bring sunscreen (and even score them free samples), and be their best friendly contact in the hotel.

If it was a “Big Dog” presenting at a seminar… we’d help them get a suit cleaned, shoes polished, a massage therapist, inform him or her of the hours and services available at the business center (a move that could very well save their ass if they woke up to find their speech was left in a different brief case or in a laptop with no power chord).  (And ass-saved customers, as any good salesman knows, can be very appreciative.)

If it was a single dude attending the company’s yearly awards seminar, we’d waste no time pointing him to the nearest… ahem… “gentleman’s” club. (Again, our field tests over the years were very conclusive.)

The key is to discover, within a few casual questions, what you can provide that your guest may not be consciously considering.

And you are not delivering a hard close… just a helping hand.  Very important.

One of my favorite personal touches was one I used at check out.

When the call would come to hustle newlyweds out to their waiting limo and off to the first day of  their honeymoon… I’d often be the first person they’d see the morning after their first magical night together as man and wife.

There was no avoiding the obviousness of what had taken place in that bridal suite before I barged in.

So, to break the tension, I’d hand the groom the morning newspaper and say, “Keep this… some day you’ll wonder what the rest of the world was doing on the best day of your life.”

That touch alone could boost tips as much as 50%.

You can achieve the same result by creating valuable stuff (from good advice, to detailed reports helping them achieve goals) your prospects hugely appreciate… but don’t know they want yet.  The magic happens when they realize you really are that dude who knows what’s going on… and you’re happy to deliver the goods.

Step Three: Grow into the expert who gives your customers what nobody else can.

In marketing, it’s not necessity, but demand that is the Mother of Invention.

When was the last time you surveyed your lists to find out what they’d love to have from you, but aren’t currently getting?

With a responsive list, it really is that easy to create results out of thin air.

(Not doing this is a crime… especially when you consider how successful businesses can pretty much guarantee a profitable product launch just by delivering exactly what their potential buyers ask for.)

I mentioned my record $300 tip from one guest. That was a future NFL Hall of Famer (who is — incredibly — still playing at a high level a full decade later) whose name I won’t reveal out of reverence to guest/bellman privileges.  (Just as confidential as the pact between doctor/patient, lawyer/client, and spy/M.)

Here’s the story: It was 4am when he and his guests arrived, after a full day on the road (and just 48 hours after losing the AFC Championship game, you should know, to my favorite team, which I am also conveniently avoiding mentioning).

He tipped me the first hundred for delivering luggage to his suite.

I told him if there was anything else I could get him, to please not hesitate.

He didn’t.

“Kaav, we need a couple of bottles of wine,” he said.  (No “Kevin” for him.  I was Kaav, and I was honored.)

“Ow”, I replied, pained. “That’s the one thing I can’t do for you. This city goes dry at 2am. Everything shut down over an hour ago.”

He slapped another hundred-dollar bill into my hand and said, “I got faith in ya, Kaav.”

I walked straight down to the lobby bar, past the security cameras, grabbed two bottles of wine from the cooler and was back at his door in less than 10 minutes.

“No law against welcoming an important guest, though,” I said, as he howled with laughter.  And greased me one more time, what a mensch.  Now that’s the way to show appreciation.

Yes, of course I alerted the front desk about the wine! Shame on you for thinking I went around the blue laws.  Either that or I paid the security dweeb a $20 hush fee… who can remember small details after all these years?

Point is, you’re no bellman, you don’t have to break the law for cash…

…  and, in fact, you don’t even have to break a sweat.

Just follow these 3 simple steps, bust out of your comfort zone more often, find out what your best prospects really want… and challenge yourself to deliver big for them.

To easy livin’…

Kaav

P.S. I’ll be at the Action Seminar all weekend, in a guest-star role along with John and that Murder’s Row of experts he lined up…

… and I hear there may still be room for you, too, if you jump on it.  Go here for details.

Be sure to tip your waitress.

And hey, leave a comment if you’ve got something to say, too…

Saturday, 2:35pm
Reno, NV
“Rommel, you magnificent bastard! I read your book!” (Gen. Patton, ambushing Nazi’s before they could ambush him)

Howdy…

Early Halloween memory: I’m getting ready to go extort candy from the neighbors with my older sister (cuz while I’m starting to suspect that Santa Claus ain’t real, I’m still pretty convinced that ghosts and witches are out there, thus requiring a bodyguard)…

… and, putting my worldly experience to work, I choose the biggest bag available to carry my haul in.

Dreams of endless sugar-rushes have my 5-year-old brain twitching like a junkie as we join the throngs of vandals and kids outside, and I’m raking it in.

However, just before calling it a night and heading home, I realize that my bag was a little TOO big… and I’d been dragging it along the ground, and all that glorious booty had fallen out in the street somewhere behind me.

The horror.

It was unfair.  It violated every code of how kids should be treated by the universe that I knew about.  It was a memory-scarring traumatic event.

I felt…

… cheated.

And I’m pretty sure that was my first lesson in empathy.  Because it sucked to feel like I’d been cheated out of something.

Sucked, sucked, sucked.  I’d headed out that evening snickering to myself about being so clever with the big bag… and… and…

Well, I can’t even talk about it anymore.  It’s just too painful a memory.

And from that moment on, I have nodded in solidarity and sympathy whenever someone else was cheated.  “Yeah,” I’d say to myself.  “Been there.”

In fact, there are three lessons here:

Losing All Your Candy Lesson #1: No one wants to be cheated.  The burning shame and humiliation of realizing you’ve been gypped, or taken for a ride, or fooled never loses its intensity.

In fact, I think it gets worse as you get older.

As a kid, you cry and sink into despondence.

As adults, folks have been known to even scores with violence.  (Think “road rage”… cuz someone soiled your honor by cutting you off in traffic.  You want ‘em dead.  Doesn’t matter that they’re a nice little old lady who just didn’t realize she pulled out in front of you.  The complete and utter Wrath Of God wouldn’t be punishment enough for their trespass.  Grrrrr…)

Here’s how this manifests in marketing: Perhaps the biggest, baddest, and most hard-to-beat obstacle you will encounter when trying to persuade someone to take you up on your very fair, very generous, very drop-dead bargain of an offer…

…. is that many people would rather miss out on a killer opportunity…

… than risk being cheated.

All the wonderfulness of your completely ethical, over-delivered and super-cool product…

… is no match for even the remote possibility of being pitied, humiliated or laughed at by a spouse, gloating buddy, or asshole neighbor.

This is why good salesmen spend so much time shoveling benefit-laden sound bites into pitches.

You need to “arm” your prospect with simple, memorable come-backs that deflect the hail of shame he fears might be tossed at him.

Because, you know, it’s no secret that ALL advertising is bogus bullshit, and anyone who buys anything online is a fool, and I cannot believe you FELL for that marketer’s obvious nonsense.

What’re you, a complete sucker?

This is why “the more you tell, the more you sell” remains such valuable advice.

Let prospects know what other people’s experience was after buying.  Confirm your credibility with endorsements, and make each feature come alive with benefits that resonate and nail the sweet spots of raw need.

Help him put the price in perspective, by clearly explaining how your offer stacks up against other options and the competition.  Tell him what to expect in terms of results, and when to expect them.

Give him a well-lit road-map to follow to get moving as quickly as possible.  If it’s a bargain, tell him why.  If it’s an investment in his success, tell him why.  If there are risks, tell him what they are, and how he can mitigate them.

If there are flaws, reveal them.  It will only make your case stronger by being honest and forthcoming.

Make your guarantee shockingly generous.

Pile up the bonuses so the bargain is both real and tangible.

In short… BE that marketer you wish other biz owners would be when you deal with them.

Heck… if you can, arrange it so YOU’RE the one at risk of being cheated.  You take all the risk.  You over-deliver.

You give him every opportunity to take advantage of you… and rely on the strength of your product or service to convince him (through action and results) you were worthy of being given the chance to prove yourself to him.

Give him the unfair advantage in this deal.  Allow him to realize, on his own, that this really is a smart shopping decision and a genuine not-to-be-missed opportunity.

Losing All Your Candy Lesson #2: Don’t expect “logic” to win the day.

People are so sensitive to being on the losing end of a humiliating experience, that they will spin facts, truth and reality to back up their actions.

Everybody spins.  You spin.  I spin.  Mother Teresa and Ghandi spun.  We spin to our good friends, to our enemies, to strangers, lovers, pets and inanimate objects.  (“C’mon,” I’ve said to my car on a cold morning.  “Start, just start today, that’s all I ask… and I’ll wash and wax you and spit-shine your chrome and…”  Total spin.  I’ve never waxed a car in my life.  I just want the damn thing to start.)

But the biggest spin of all… is the spin we deliver to ourselves.

That’s why I chose that quote from Gen. George Patton up top.  He was a student of The Art Of War, and also devoted to the idea of “honor” among combatants.

So when he learned that Rommel was going to ambush him, he snuck his tanks into the desert and ambushed Rommel first.

In the movie, this comes right after a big Patton-esque blowhard speech about him wishing he and Rommel could just duel it out alone, the two of them shaking hands and then fighting… and whoever won, won the war.  Very honorable.

Then he goes out and ambushes the dude.  And is near-orgasmic as he crushes the Nazi columns.

Everybody wants the best possible deal.  Everybody.

And that makes it logically impossible to create a deal that satisfies everyone…

… UNLESS you know how to enable the other guy to spin things inside his head so he believes he scored huge.

Truth is often a casualty.  I remember, long ago, witnessing another musician selling his guitar to someone he knew… these guys KNEW each other… and the axe was worth ten times what he wanted for it.  But still the buyer negotiated hard, working him down until it wasn’t even a bargain any more… it was financial slaughter.  But the seller needed the bread, so the deal went down.

And both guys worked it out in their minds that it was fair and satisfying.

You have to just let go of logic when you’re finalizing a sales process.  A genuine good deal will be ignored if the prospect cannot square up the price and value in his head, outside of rational equations.

Smart salesmen know that you can obliterate every obvious objection in a prospect’s mind, and still lose the sale…

… if you somehow miss what may be an unconscious objection that defies logic.

This is why the great copywriters have always shoveled massive payloads of bullets (explaining feature-benefit stories) into pitches.

You just never can predict which bullet will trigger that “Okay, what the hell, let’s do this deal” response.

Losing All Your Candy Lesson #3: It should be abundantly clear by now that people will often act against their own best self-interest.

Salesmen have known this for ages.  So have politicians.

Academic types who study this stuff have proven, over and over, that people will consistently avoid immediate loss or pain… even at the expense of long-term gain (in health, finances, love, all of it).

Pay attention to this: You may have the most generous offer in the history of business, a killer bargain that will have your accountant yelling at you for giving away so much…

… and you can lose the sale if your prospect feels any kind of discomfort or pain — even a slight twinge of it — at the crucial moment of decision.

Humans are just perverse creatures.  Built for the jungle, but scurrying around society and civilization constantly at war with our own brains and desires and fears.

I’ve seen great products bomb and wonderful businesses wither and die…

… because no one understood how to deliver a sales message that dealt with the screwy suspicions of prospects.

We’re ALL vulnerable to this stuff.  Knowing that you’re being illogical about feeling cheated won’t stop the feeling.  (As an aware, frosty Zen-type dude or dudette, of course, you will nevertheless confront these cockeyed distractions… but that’s another story, for later.)

For now, don’t judge yourself or your fellow humans.  We’re quirky, but still lovable and fun (when not in full-on “road rage” mode).

As a marketer, just pay more attention weaving a message that can help your prospect feel illogically okay about pulling out his wallet.

Hope you got to keep your candy from trick-or-treating this year.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Side story: I come from a family that looks hard for the “best” deal out there on everything they buy.  My Pop’s standard-operating-procedure, in fact, is to spend 6 months researching what he wants… buying it at a bargain so severe that tears well up in the seller’s eyes… and then continuing to research for another 6 months after buying, just to make sure a better deal didn’t get past him.

You gotta admire that kind of dedication to a bargain.

What’s your story about being cheated? We all have them, and they set the tone for our adult objections to buying stuff.

Comment section is open for business…

P.P.S. Almost forgot… anybody remember where the title to this post (Dewey, Cheatum & Howe) comes from?

Seriously, guys.  Somebody should nail this precisely (without resorting to Mr Google, either, which is cheating)…

Monday, 11:34pm
Visalia, CA
“I never drink… wine.“  (Bela Lugosi, “Dracula”)

Howdy.

Special treat today.  I’ve asked an old friend (and killer copywriter) to guest post on the blog here.

Jim Curley and I go way back (to, gasp, Before The Birth Of The Internets As A Marketing Force)…

… and he’s one of those Web-hip veteran copywriters who brings a healthy dose of old-school wisdom and experience to everything he does.  He’s well steeped in all the manly markets (golf, self-defense, hot rod body artwork, family life, vampires, stuff like that).  I’ve had him as a wingman at multiple seminars, and I’ve hired him as a writer for my own projects.

That’s how good he is.

I didn’t give Jimbo any directions on what he could write about, either.  I trust the guy completely…

… and just told him to dig into one of the subjects he and I enjoy talking and bitching about when we get together.

This is a good lesson Jim’s sharing with you.

Enjoy… and don’t be shy about posting a comment afterward.  We’ve had some spectacular comment threads over the past year in this blog.  Always good to hear from y’all.

Here’s Jimbo:

Thanks for the intro, John.

I’ve got a couple important “street marketing” lessons for everyone here… so let’s just get right into it.

The first one I’ll call:

“Who the hell are YOU talking to?”

Now before I go any further, you should know that I’ve been a copywriter and marketer for over 25 years… and have been working with John Carlton for about 15 of those years.

It continues to be a humbling experience.

Just about the time I get pleased with my writing and the voices begin to whisper “oh, you are sooo good“…

… John blindsides me with some deep insight… kernel of wisdom…

… or shocking zinger of truth that slams me back into reality.

As a lifelong dedicated writer, of course, you love this kind of interaction.  It forces you to stay nimble… and ALWAYS keep your eyes and ears open.

And that is what these street marketing lessons are all about. Subtle observations and interesting truths about marketing and sales…

… gleaned from the real world…

… where prospects and customers are living, breathing, complex and fascinating.

Okay… the first lesson I’ll tell you about hit me after I saw the movie “Eclipse”.

If you’re not familiar with the whole “Twilight” series of books and movies, don’t worry…

… it only means you’re deeply out of touch with what every teen and pre-teen girl in the industrial world has been swooning over for the last two years.

But before you peg me as some sort of girlie-man, let me be clear:

It was my 16 year old granddaughter who dragged me to this movie!

She did it partly because she loves me… and partly because I was paying.

(Quick personal note: Yes, I’m just 50-years-old, and I’ve got FIVE grandkids.  It’s the result of some very fertile DNA.  And let’s leave it at that.)

Back to the story: In a nutshell, the movie is based on a series of books written by Stephanie Myers about “Edward”, a sexy-sexy vampire…

…who’s madly in love with the awkward and not-so-terribly-beautiful main character, “Bella”.

And then there’s the hot, often shirtless werewolf “Jacob”, who’s also in love with Bella. And he’s so very-very buff… and so jealous of the sexy-sexy Edward.

And the werewolves… and vampires… and essentially all the beautiful people of the world are soon fighting for the attention and love of this plain and clumsy teenage girl.

Oh, it’s a scene man.

However…

Here’s where the fun part starts:

The day after seeing this movie, I read a review of “Eclipse” written by AP’s David Germain… a guy who’s probably very much like me (eats too much red meat, grapefruit-sized prostate, and who’s starting to have serious issues with wire-like hair growing out of his ears).

His review read: “…while ‘Eclipse’ may not be dreadfully dumb, it’s still pretty dumb.”

“Pretty dumb”… for WHO? Him?

Seems that Germain doesn’t understand that the recently-filthy-rich producers of this movie series couldn’t give a rat’s-ass what a middle-aged man thinks.

Hollywood is in the business of SELLING movies… and like any smart business person, their first big question has got to be:

“Who the hell are we targeting?“

Because you can’t target “everyone” (duh).  So those clever movie execs started this whole process in some boardroom… wringing their hands and looking at the stats.

“Hmmm…” they intoned, scanning charts.  “Look at this:  Pubescent girls raging with hormones are in charge of billions of dollars of discretionary spending…

“Hey!  You think maybe THAT may be a good target market?”

Perhaps these young teen females could relate to this story of a klutzy and not-so-attractive girl…

…who has two groping, shirtless, super-hunks fighting over her while her entire high-school… indeed the rest of the known world… watches on in breathless envy.

Yes… just perhaps that may work.

Granted… like Germain, I too thought the movie was silly.  But that’s not the point.

My 16-year-old grand-daughter LOVED it. She was swept away… saw the movie at least five more times…

… joined some scary “Team Jacob” gang…

…and plastered her life with “Twilight” stickers, shirts, posters, notebooks, etc.

And THAT is the point.

From the perspective of a marketer, the people behind the “Twilight Series” are friggin’ geniuses.

They absolutely nailed it… and managed to tap into millions of fans and millions in sales. Something like $100 million and counting.

How’s that for a “dumb movie”?

So what am I driving at?

What does this have to do with YOUR marketing?

Just this: MOST of the business people and entrepreneurs that I’ve worked with over the years are a little (and sometimes a lot) like this Germain cat.

They don’t quite “get” how important it is to have the “WHO” part of their marketing figured out right from the get-go.

And it is the “WHO” — more than any other element — that is the difference between huge fortune and utter failure!

Really.

And you can’t just INVENT a convenient answer to this “Who the hell are YOU talking to?” question either.

Nope.  It can’t be made-up… or based on theory or guesswork.

Look: I write for the same self-defense company John worked with for many years.

So let’s do a quick exercise here… and see if we can’t “wing-it” and figure out WHO should be the best target of their fighting products.

It’ll be fun, I swear.

Let see… hmmm… who NEEDS a self defense product?

Well, it would be the weakest among us of course. Perfectly logical.

And women are certainly physically weaker than men, in most cases.

And women, sadly, are often the target of violence… and sexual attacks.

And it’s typically younger women who are assaulted in that fashion… and they will certainly never want to be attacked again… and maybe they’re even looking for some sweet revenge.

There we go… I think we have it.

Our target — the people we will be directing our message and all of our valuable marketing resources — will be women, 18-45, who have likely suffered some sort of assault or violent attack and perhaps are seeking a chance to deliver some serious “payback”.

Sound good? Sure it does…

Makes perfect sense.

Let’s buy up some magazine space in Better Homes and Garden and Women’s Day.

We’ll hunt down a broker and purchase a mailing list… hire a copywriter… print up a million mailers. Get our Google campaign cranked up and pay a Web geek to build a site and maximize SEO.

One minor problem, however…

… and I can prove this:  The customers of self-defense products are almost 100% MEN.

Women, for whatever reason — even though they may desperately need this kind of a product — simply do not buy “how to fight” instructional materials.

And the best sales message in the world won’t persuade them to do so.  We’ve tried.  You may get some minor action, but it will never be a home-run marketing campaign.

See what guesswork gets you?

Imagine running down THAT blind alley for any period of time. It’s the kind of thing that can put you out of business… quick.

So you MUST perform your due diligence… and research blogs, books, magazines, websites and especially competitors — just to get a vague idea of WHO you are talking to.

After that, as you develop a customer base, you will need to continually refine your targeting.

Which brings me to my next lesson…

“How To Kill Nazi Zombies.”

Bear with me… this will all tie together in one neat little bow.

This lesson popped into my head while playing the gruesome video-game “Nazi Zombies” with my 15-year-old grandson.  (Yes, all these lessons are inter-generational revelations.)

Briefly: The gist of the video game is that you’re trapped in a blown-out building during World War II… while Nazi zombies are trying to climb through the windows and eat you.

Your job is to use the available weapons to kill them first.

Problem was, it was ME getting killed while my grandson continued to survive… and ring-up massive points… and chuckle while I was being torn apart and eaten.

I didn’t want to be torn apart and eaten.

So I quickly figured out where I was going wrong.

Turns out that while I was using a measly .22 pistol and pumping a full 6 body-shots to get a kill…

… my uber-smart grandson runs over to a special weapons locker and grabs a scoped-rifle and kills zombies with just ONE shot… to the head.

My point is this: Many entrepreneurs and business owners are selling products and making some money…

… but MOST still haven’t figured out the “sweet spot” of their target market… where profits are easier and faster and more efficient to bring in.

Instead, they’ve settled permanently into a comfort zone… and are using the equivalent of a poorly-aimed .22 pistol as their marketing campaign.

It works “okay”… so why change?

Well, because it means you’re very likely leaving stacks of money on the table… that’s why you should change.

Oh yeah… and the zombies are closing in for the kill.

Which brings me back to the Twilight series.

Do you think Stephanie Myers analyzed the market, ran that stats, and determined that young teen girls were such a lucrative market that she would write a series of Twilight books just to go after their money?

No. She wrote the books in her apartment, after a vivid dream, with zero market planning.

But when the books began to sell… smart people in Hollywood suspected she was on to something. That she had somehow touched a nerve… hit the sweet-spot…

… and they rightly smelled millions.  (Fill in your own note here about Hollywood execs having a lot in common with vampires.)

And this “find the sweet spot” exercise is exactly what YOU have to do.

Even if you’re making damn good money right now, I’m betting that you didn’t do months of tough market research to see if you’ve maxed-out your potential.

That’s okay.  You’ve winged a zombie with your .22… and now it’s time to grab the scoped rifle.

Now it’s time to pinpoint your customers’ little g-spot.

Quick Tip From A Grizzled Pro: One of the most foolproof ways to find that sweet-spot is to actually spend time analyzing your customers.

Where do they live? How old are they? What do they like most about your product? What do they think you can improve?

Spend an afternoon… or a couple of afternoons… and look for patterns.

Sound like a hassle? Well, when your efforts start to double and triple your income… suddenly it doesn’t seem so much of a hassle.

Of course some questions can’t be answered by looking at a database of customer stats. So here’s a big idea:

Ask your customers!

Use an “ASK campaign”. Start one right away and see what your customer really want. And where you may be doing things right… and wrong.

It’s actually very easy, and their answers will likely shock you — prompting the development of laser-targeted products and sales messages.

This is where your competitors start to hate and fear you.

And family and friends begin to believe you have some kind of Midas touch.

That’s fine… let them believe that.

As long as YOU don’t start believing it… and allow those siren voices to convince you to relax… that you’ve got it all figured out… and that it’s time to stop being curious about how you can better serve your customers.

That, my friend, is how you’ll be torn apart and eaten by those annoying Nazi zombies.

Welcome to the game.

For better marketing…

Jimmy Curley

Sunday, 10:19pm
Reno, NV
“There are eight million stories in the naked city…” (Jules Dassin film noir classic)

Howdy.

Here’s a nice little piece of insight for writers.

And by “writers”, I’m referring to those ink-stained wretches (of whom I share a proud bond) who really care about the craft of writing.  For whom the act of stringing words together is — when done right — a sacred thing.

You can make a living as a hack writer (meaning: Someone who can communicate through writing, but who neither loves language nor attempts to create phrases with rhythm or dynamics or craft).

Most of the best-selling novelists these days are complete hacks, in fact.  (Talkin’ to you, Dan Brown.)

Metaphor Alert: If you need a comparison to understand what I’m talking about, let’s take the mastering of a musical instrument.  What’s the difference between the dude who noodles away at a guitar for decades but never plays for anyone… and the guy who steps on a bar stage to cover a Cream tune… and Eric Clapton?

Answer: The first dude can’t even call himself a guitarist (and wouldn’t dream of it, unless he loves mockery).

The second guy is a hack.  No shame, and we need these guys to keep live music rocking in the free world. (And, with Auto-Tune software, we’re hearing more and more hacks enter the slipstream of popular music.)  (Hey, I’m an accomplished hack at this very thing — been playing at biker bars for decades.)

The third is Eric.  Now, he’s a guitarist.  Lives, breathes and dreams the instrument, and learned the craft at a master’s level.  Put in 10,000 hours of practice as a teenager, and never let up.  (Don’t you DARE think he somehow came upon his skills “naturally” or easily.  He worked at it.)

So, yeah, if all you wanna do is use writing to reach a goal… like, say, getting filthy rich and famous… then by all means, aspire to hackdom with your writing.  Thumbs up from this corner, and more power to ya.

Being “good enough” can take you far.

However…

Just as a small number of people burn with a desire to become an entrepreneur (an ember that never sparks in most folks)…

… if you truly care about writing — and I mean TRULY care, to the point that the crap ground out by the endless mob of bad writers out there actually grates against your brain — then, first, know that you are in a minority.

Do not expect appreciation of your dedication to the craft… except from other writers who know damn good writing when they see it.

I’m the first person to tell up-and-coming freelancers not to obsess on the “writing” part of becoming a freelancer.  Get good enough to get the job done, but do not overlook the other important aspects of the career — like in-depth marketing savvy, knowing how to deal with clients, mastering street-level psychology, and all the other skills in your Bag O’ Tricks that will make you a well-rounded and wealthy freelancer.

On the other hand…

If the standard advice for the wannabe damn-good writer (“Writers write”) sounds just fine to you… then maybe you actually have some ink in your veins.

I can pin your ears back with advice about progressing in the craft.

Today, though, let’s just discuss one of the more important fundamentals:  Storytelling.

The human brain is hard-wired to seek out and appreciate good storytelling.  Before the Web, before TV, before newspapers, before writing even existed…

… all knowledge was shared through stories.  Myths, fables, reports from the field, riveting tales shared over a damp mug of mead…

… a story would be told, memorized, and told again generation after generation.  The super-awesome ones still exist today (in archetypal plots like Romeo & Juliet offshoots, the Grimm Bros. folk tales, most comic books, all Hollywood movies, and even the urban myths now circulating online).

Some carried forbidden information (pre-Civil War hymns like “Follow The Drinking Gourd” were plausibly maps for escaped slaves) (the drinking gourd referred to the Little Dipper constellation, which would lead you north to free states as you traveled by night).

Others were complex morality tales (no such thing as a free lunch, Hansel.  Gretel, you listening?).  Most reinforced the rules of living amongst your group, by identifying the outsiders and establishing the requirements for bravery and acceptance.

All the great propaganda masters and influence peddlers understood the power of a story to trump the truth.  (Like Goebbels, Lenin, D.W. Griffith, Walter Winchell, and several modern-day politicians I can’t mention, because their bullshit still coats the thinking parts of too many folks’ brains.)

You know why successful scam artists are called “Con Men”?  The “con” comes from “confidence” — they weave believable stories so well that otherwise right-thinking people fall for them, convinced that up is now down, and black is now white.

Of course, stories are used for good, too.  It’s just easier to illustrate the power of a story with the evil examples.

Hey — are you in a committed relationship with a little snuggle bunny you dearly love?  At some point, you both created a story starring yourselves… which made so much sense, that you agreed to live out the script in real time.

Ask Mom how she met Dad.  She’ll tell you a story.

In fact, ask anyone how they got to where they’re at right now.  The job, the haircut, the town to live in, the car they drive, the last vacation they took…

… they’ve got a story about it.

We are, each one of us, the stories we tell.

And what we buy, and how we choose our goals, are deeply intertwined with stories.

Now, here’s the kicker: Just because humans are front-loaded with a love of stories…

… doesn’t mean you’re automatically able to tell a good one.

In fact, most folks suck at storytelling.  Just like they’d suck at anything they didn’t work at.  Fishing, playing guitar, climbing rocks, grooming a dog, creating a business plan, dancing the Watusi, whatever…

… just because you can do it, doesn’t mean you’re good at it yet.

I’m gonna go out on a limb here and make a wild guess:  You’ve been bored, before, by someone telling a lame story.

Of course you have.  We all have.

And wouldn’t the world be a better place if everyone who told a boring story realized it, and then studied the craft of storytelling so they would never bore you again like that?

We can only dream.

I was lucky.  I was the baby (youngest by 8 years) in a family crammed with storytellers.  I learned early that… unless I learned to pepper my tales of childhood adventure with enough tidbits (or scary parts) to interest the adults… I would be interrupted, ignored or at best tolerated at the dinner table yarn-fests.

So I paid attention to how really good stories played out.  This was during the late 50s, where Saturday afternoons were spent devouring truly awful sci-fi movies, and where your prowess as a storyteller on the playground could instantly elevate your social status.

You gotta tailor your tale to your audience.  That’s the primary lesson.

A story that bores the bejesus out of one person, may dazzle the hell out of someone else.  And you should get good at knowing whether you’re bombing or scoring quickly (so you can change course if necessary).

Those bad sci-fi movies were cinematic masterpieces to us.  As a kid, we knew the payoff was coming (usually a monster).

As an adult, I can only watch those films as kitsch now — the plot holes gape, the lack of logic appalls… and while I finally understand why they always starred some busty babe in the cast, the romance is goofy at best.

So the main rule for writer/marketers is this: Learn what kind of story appeals to your audience.  If you don’t know, you’re taking a risk with anything other than a paragraph-long tale.

Don’t pretend to know how to weave a story that gets listened to.  Instead, learn the craft.  (Just as you would never pretend to be able to play guitar if you wanted to impress real musicians.)

There are no shortcuts… but you can get hip to good storytelling fairly quickly if you apply yourself.

Don’t rely on books. There are some decent ones out there, and go ahead and read them.  (“How To Write A Damn Good Novel”, Jim Frey.  “Man & His Myths”, Carl Jung.  Search “how to write a good story” on Google and follow up on two or three of the suggestions.)

No more than that, though.  There aren’t that many elements to storytelling.  Get the basics, then move on.

Because book-learnin’ won’t get your chops honed.

You gotta start talking.

Every time you wake up and survive the day and get back home, you’ve got a story to tell.  Maybe not an epic adventure, but shit happened to you.  And you did things, sometimes wrong, sometimes right, and you were often surprised or alarmed or excited about the outcomes.

Unless you live in a Unabomber-style cave, you know people who tell stories.  Start critically breaking down what you hear, both the good ones and the bad ones.

Consider how to improve the sucky ones, and figure out what made the rockin’ ones rock.

Learn to edit yourself viciously. The best verbally-delivered stories are fast and furious.  Trim away all irrelevant details.  (And learn to spot irrelevant details quickly as you’re speaking.  If it doesn’t matter whether it was Tuesday or Monday you saw the UFO, then don’t waste time trying to establish the day.)

In fact, it’s the “set up” part of telling a story that trips most people up.  Consider the classic “two ducks walk into a bar” joke storyline.  Is it important that it’s a bar and not a library?  Sometimes.  But it’s almost NEVER relevant what kind of bar it is, what town it’s in, who else is in the bar, what time of day it is, what the weather is, etc.

Two ducks walk into a bar.  That’s enough.  Move on to the next act — the interaction with the bartender.  Act Three is the punchline.

A good story doesn’t have to be funny.  Or even entertaining.  But they ALL deliver some form of information.  The classic “I was broke, I discovered a way to make money, and now I’m rich and famous” storyline is so common in advertising BECAUSE it’s a short, understandable plot that nearly all audiences can identify with.

It’s just a set up, however.  Good for you, surviving all that nastiness and turning your life around.

If you want to hold my interest, however, you’ve got to segue immediately to what this has to do with me.

Okay, we can discuss storytelling more later.  The ins and outs of the craft aren’t hard to master, once you know what to do.

But you gotta know where you’re at, first, with your ability to weave a rollicking tale.

It’s NOT a natural tool in your kit.  The love of stories and the yearning to be able to tell one is in your DNA, yes.  But actually doing it requires some discipline and dedication to the craft.

How about this: In the comments section below…

… tell us a quick story about something that happened to you in July.

That’s all.  A short tale about some event, or action, or realization, or whatever.

If you’ve already sharpened your skills, you can turn a yarn about cutting the grass into a laugh-fest that makes our bellies ache.

If you’re rusty at it, you can make the story of your DUI arrest after the wedding of your ex (which you attended as an uninvited stalker) a total snoozer.

But don’t be shy.  The first attempts are always the toughest.  Here, you have a community of like-minded people… who care less about the quality of your story, than the fact that you’ve screwed up the courage to write one out here.

C’mon, don’t be a wuss.

Tell us a quick dispatch from your July adventures.  Or non-adventures, doesn’t matter.

Before you can start crafting stories with the mojo to captivate and convert prospects, you gotta be able to tell a simple tale that has no consequences at all.

I’ve done this often during my rare Copywriting Sweatshop seminars.  I tell everyone to go to lunch, and come back with a story.

It’s pretty eye-opening.  Most folks will come back and insist that “nothing” happened, and thus, there was no story to tell.

Well, it’s impossible that “nothing” happened.  If you walked out the door, got knocked unconscious by a falling flowerpot, and didn’t awake until after the lunch break…

… so that LITERALLY you had no sensory awareness or brain function…

… you’d still have a story to relate.  “Dude, I got bonked by a flowerpot out in the hall, and woke up with paramedics about to put the electric shockie things on my chest…”

Et cetera.

Was the waitress rude at the cafe?  Was it surprising that the food was so good (or bad) in the place you went to?  Was the couple in the booth behind you breaking up?  Did you leave thinking “Carlton’s a complete whack-job”, and come back (after talking with other attendees) realizing I’m actually only slightly whacked (and thus tolerable for the duration of the event)?

What HAPPENED?!?

Give it a try.  No one will bite you.

If push past your reluctance (or lack of “natural” skill) to craft stories, you are well on your way to influencing people, winning friends, and getting your sales message across to vast nattering mobs of fresh prospects.

If enough readers here enjoy digging into storytelling details, maybe we’ll explore some other tips later.

Stay frosty,

John