Friday, 12:26pm
Phoenix, AZ
“Been there, done that…”

Howdy.

I am, today, resurrecting a post from a very long time ago…

… because the subject matter just won’t die. Like a zombie, it just keeps getting back up and stumbling forward to irritate and annoy me.

So let’s file this under “Necessary Reminders If You Wanna Get Rich“…

… cuz it’s one of those fundamental lessons for anyone who got into business to create wealth.

As opposed to, say, getting into business just to have something to do during the day.

Every successful entrepreneur will tell you the foundation of their wealth comes from paying attention to the fundamentals. The wild-and-crazy ideas are fun, the vows to take over the world make you feel awesome, and gorging on fresh technology is invigorating.

But you won’t earn a dime off any of it without knowing the nuts-and-bolts part of putting ideas, vows and tech into action.

Just like being really, really, really eager to demolish your opponent in a cage fight will get you killed if you don’t have the fundamentals down of hitting and getting hit.

Enthusiasm is great. Skills and knowledge are how shit gets done, however.

Here’s that zombie post. Enjoy:

I tell rookies to never, ever assume anything about anything. Ever.

Especially about your target audience. One of the biggest mistakes marketers make is to assume your prospect knows as much as you do about whatever it is you’re selling.

And it’s almost never true. You’re dealing with your product/biz/service day in and day out, and you’ve dealt with the details so often, it’s all second-nature to you.

But your prospect isn’t working in your office. Even if he’s in the same general market as you, he has other priorities. He may desperately need what you offer… but that doesn’t mean he’s researched you and your product as thoroughly as you might have, in his shoes.

If you assume he understands all the technical jargon and insider terms you’re laying on thick, you stand a good chance of losing him. Even when I’m dealing with rabid markets — like golf or guitar playing or cigar smoking — I use jargon sparingly, for emphasis.

Like adding spice for flavor — don’t overdo it.

That’s why it’s important to “translate” everything into plain English in your copy… even if you would swear on a stack of Bibles that “everyone knows what this means”. This is especially true when you’re slinging slang around.

I have to watch the assumption thing, myself. Constantly.

For example: When someone books an hour’s phone consultation with me, I assume they prepare. At least a little, teeny-tiny bit.

My hours aren’t cheap, and often it’s tough to squeeze the consultations into my schedule. It’s not like a friendly chat with the guy down the hall. When your hour’s up, it’s up.

And it goes by fast.

So, I’m always baffled when the guy on the other end of the line starts arguing with me about something basic.

Especially the stuff I assume he must know, or he wouldn’t be asking me for advice.

I assume, for example, that he would have at least glanced at the “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets” course first. You know, to sort of get an idea of where I’d be coming from.

Silly me.

The most recent consultation I had started out fine… but five minutes into it, I found myself in a heated argument about whether long copy really works in online ads or not.

I thought, okay… you wanna waste half the call going over one of the very FIRST and most OBVIOUS parts of what I discuss in my materials… and what EVERY top marketer knows, from experience and testing… fine.

Fine.

It’s good practice for me to go over the argument. Again.

But really, man. There are cheaper ways than a full-on consultation with me to learn one the FUNDAMENTALS of advertising-that-works.

Here’s a FREE explanation, in fact. Just in case you’re one of those guys who looks at top-grossing entrepreneurial sites, and wonders “do people really read all that copy?”.

Stop and think for a second.

We don’t use long copy for our sales pitches because we enjoy slaving over the keyboard.

No. We use long copy in our marketing…

… because that’s what WORKS.

In essence, your copy is your salesman. Face-to-face, he has to cover the entire sales message to make the cash register go ka-ching – cover all the benefits, explain all the features, establish credibility, and make a case for money trading hands, right now while the iron’s hot.

You wouldn’t tell your salesman to only use 100 words, and then clam up, would you? (Go back to the end of the line if you said “why not?”)

Your copy is your sales pitch. It’s long, because great sales pitches are long. You’re asking someone to part with money… and online, they can’t see your product, can’t hold it, can’t smell it… in fact, they have to take your word for everything.

Or rather, your words. And your words must convince, persuade, influence and close the deal…

… or you don’t make the sale.

That’s why the top marketers all use long copy.

“But,” says this Doubting Thomas on the horn, “There are a lot of people out there who insist that short copy is better.”

Oh, really? Like who?

“Lots of people.”

Nobody who’s making any money, I tell him. Does your competition use long copy?

“Yeah.”

And how are your ads pulling, compared to theirs?

“They’re creaming us.”

Soooooooo… how’s short copy working out for you, then?

That line is a favorite of folksy therapists. Someone explains how they’re sleeping with their brother’s wife, cooking up crank in the bathroom for extra cash, and getting in bar fights as a hobby.

And the therapist sighs and says: “So, how’s that working out for you?”

Humans are a stubborn bunch. All of us. We all have huge blind spots about certain things we do.

In marketing, it’s pretty simple, though, to know when your beligerence is unjustified: Look at your results.

If your bottom line isn’t what you know it should be… then you’re doing something wrong.

It ain’t working so hot for you.

You cannot argue your way to wealth in the open marketplace.

You gotta make your case, and do a good sales job. Everything else is just pissing in the wind.

Do what works. Get hip, to get rich.

And stay frosty.

John Carlton

P.S. If you insist on needing to air out this argument in the comments section, have at it.

I’ll be checking in. Let’s get this fundamental nailed down, okay?

P.P.S. By the way…

… I just slashed the price for a fresh, hot-off-the-presses copy of “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel”. For years it’s been hundreds of bucks (as was $299 as recently as yesterday)…

… but now it’s just $99. For the course that fundamentally transformed how even rookie entrepreneurs can create marketing that works like crazy. Every Big Dog marketer you know about in the online entrepreneurial world has this course on their shelves, recommends it to their followers… and many got their start through the specific techniques and proven tactics outlined in it.

If you don’t own it yet, get it here: “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel”.

It is very much NOT just about copywriting. To understand the mojo of great copywriting, you must understand the sheer power of classic salesmanship and result-oriented marketing…

… which means this course is a one-stop starting point point for anyone needing to get their entire marketing efforts into action.

Fast.

Armed with all the persuasive power of good old-fashioned salesmanship.

Exactly as I used it for my entire career. To make clients insanely wealthy, and to plump up my own bottom-line for my own business advventures.

Seriously — if anything I’ve told you over the years in this blog has hit a chord with you…

… then you’re ready to dive deep into the world of real success.

And it starts here. With a copy of the classic course “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel.”

Now available for the lowest price I’ve ever offered.

It’s time to get this essential tool for success into the hands of as many folks as possible again. Get it, devour it, use it.

This package, by the way, arrives with both the written course and the CDs of me walking you through everything. Time-tested stuff, easily the single most important resource you can own if you’re serious about making your biz work.

Okay, mini-rant over. Just go grab the course, will ya?

Monday, 3:32pm
Visalia, CA
“Only your real friends will tell you when your face is dirty.” (Sicilian proverb)

Howdy…

I’m handing the blog over to our good buddy Jimbo Curley again this week.  He’s done several guest posts, all hilarious, all excellent insight and info for marketers, writers and anyone in biz.

Jim and I go back a looooooooong time.  And my favorite story of how we became brawling colleagues is included here — this tale sends grown men into gasping fits of laughter whenever Jimbo re-tells it in the bar (where, during seminars, all the REAL networking and professional bonding takes place).  Last week, it was the Phoenix Hilton, for Joe Polish’s and Dean Jackson’s shockingly-good “I Love Marketing” event.

So this is fresh stuff.

Jim’s the real thing.  A top, consistently smokin’ hot copywriter and a keen observer of human behavior (and buying psychology).  He’s an original teacher in the Simple Writing System, and one of the very few writers I’ve personally asked to write FOR me.

This post is must-reading for anyone wondering how their latest and greatest ad is gonna do in the real world.

Warning: Do NOT drink coffee while reading this.  Or you’ll snort it through your nose during the funny parts.  Which is funny in itself, the image of hundreds of readers all over the globe spitting up coffee at their desks at the same time, courtesy of a master storyteller.

Okay, you’ve been warned.

Here’s Jimbo:

Thanks for the intro John.

I’ll dive right in.

Today I want to talk about a Street-Marketing lesson I call “How to take it in the shorts… and love it”.

It’s about how to get qualified critiques for your writing.

First, I’ll hit you with the big setup statement.

Here it is: Writers do not work in teams.

Stay with me on this.

Because while you can divvy up the many tasks necessary for creating a new product… building a house… or robbing a bank…

… you CAN’T do that with writing good copy.

Yes, it’s true that writers often spend time collaborating with dubious friends in coffee shops and bars…

… throwing back shots, playing grab-ass, expressing deep and passionate opinions about things they’d LIKE to write about…

… but let’s face it, THAT is not writing.

That is a little something known as “fun”.

Writing, on the other hand — the actual process of putting words onto a page — is work…

… done by ONE person…

… alone…

… inside his or her own head.

Ernest Hemingway did not whip off chapters while harpooning whales off Nantucket Island or slugging down Orujo with his buddies at a Spanish bullfight.

No. He did it like the rest of us mortals have to…

…in front of a keyboard or putting pen to paper… pounding out copy…

…alone… alone… alone.

Take a moment and allow that idea to settle-in.

It’s important, because the solitaire nature of writing creates a unique problem — especially for the new writer.

It’s something I call the “Blind Spot” effect — that strange phenomena that blocks the writer from actually seeing his or her own work.

It’s kinda like gazing into mirror. While you may be looking at the exact same face that everyone else does…

… you somehow just don’t SEE your face. You know exactly what everyone else looks like, but you don’t know what YOU look like… until other people clue you in.

Weird, huh?

It’s like Kent Jankowski… a silly, clumsy, likable kid that I knew from Catholic grade school in Wisconsin.

When he wasn’t getting slapped around by the nuns, he was busy tripping over his own shoelaces during basketball practice.

Well, in junior-high something wonderful happened to Kent.

High levels of testosterone and good genes transformed his oversized bulbous head from a featureless ball of silly-putty…

… into a perfectly-proportioned chiseled block of marble.

He quite suddenly became a handsome specimen of young manhood, complete with beard stubble and — cue audible gasp from his longtime pals — flocks of lovely young ladies cooing after him.

As he strolled by me one day with the gorgeous Jan Flowers hooked on his arm, a giddy Jankowski leaned toward me and whispered…

“Curley… check it out… Jan Flowers!  Vroom-vroom…”

It was good to see that goofy kid still existed just below the surface.

Anyway… my point is that Jankowski discovered he was a hot commodity not because he was able to judge his own looks in the mirror.

Nope. It was because young women were telling him with words and actions.

This is a little something called “feedback”.

And it’s exactly the same with your writing.

Only the most accomplished and experienced writers can even begin to truly “see” and judge their own work.

I’ve been a working writer for over 25 years and STILL have trouble with blind spots… and absolutely depend on review and feedback.

Problem is, most writers have no clue on WHO to turn to for this kind of critique work.

Okay, here’s a quick story that’ll spell out the FOUR types of feedback available to you.

I’ll keep it brief.  When I was about 10 years old, I spent an afternoon in my room sketching out a pencil drawing of a horse.  (Drawing is a lot like writing… a solitary activity fraught with creative blindspots).

And the masterpiece I created was so amazing… and so near to touching the face of genius itself… that I simply HAD to show it around to various friends and family members.

What happened next taught me a valuable lesson on differentiating between the various kinds of criticism.

I won’t waste your time with all the details, but generally, the feedback I received fell into these categories:

1. Mom. She told me my artwork was “wonderful”, thus confirming everything I already suspected about my killer horse-drawing skills.

2. The older neighbor kid. He said the drawing was “stupid” and that I was wasting my time because I was stupid too.

3. My favorite uncle. He told me that he very much liked the “doggie” that I drew…

4. The big brother. He pointed out that the horse’s legs were drawn way too short, thus making it look like a mutant dog.

In general, those are the four types of criticism that you will face too. Let’s cover each of them in a little more detail.

1. First, mom.

Her response was predictable… to lavish praise on me no matter what.  I could’ve drawn a picture of our house burning to the ground with my siblings hanging lifeless from the windows and her response would have been “very nice. Keep up the good work.”

Yes, it’s comforting to know that people love you enough to lie to your face under any circumstances.

Serial killers have mom’s who still love and support them, (“He had nothing to do with those 12 dead people in his basement…”).

But you simply can’t trust the “mom’s” in your life for honest feedback and constructive criticism. Getting a pat on the back for lousy work will NOT help you improve.

2. The older neighbor kid — or what I call the “Eddie Haskell” critic — gets his kicks out of mocking others. He does it for various reasons — jealously, pettiness, envy, sadism, whatever. Who knows.

This type of critic is usually interested in making sure that you don’t make him look bad, and he’s quite prepared to throw a wrench into your gears to stop that from happening.

Learn to recognize these people (it isn’t hard), don’t solicit their opinion, and simply ignore their criticisms.  (Side note from John: The business world is crammed with Eddie Haskell’s like this, folks.  Never, ever, ever underestimate the potential level of jealousy, pettiness, envy and outright cruel sadism undergirding opinions you get from others.)

3. Next… the good-natured uncle, or what I call “from the mouths of babes”. This can actually be quite useful feedback. In fact, if you’re like most new writers, this is probably the only useful kind of critique available to you.

It’s “from the hip” comments that can pull back the curtain and shed some light on your blind spots.

For example, a few years back, I was raking leaves on a cold and windy autumn day. After a couple hours I finished up, bagged-up the leaf piles, and returned into the house.

As I removed my shoes, my 4-year-old grandson looked up at me with a puzzled expression and said:  ”Grandpa… you look like a clown.”

I was shocked.  A clown? What the…

I knew the boy couldn’t be openly insulting me… for Pete’s sake, he was 4 years old.

I glance into the hallway in the mirror and — sure enough — my small tan beanie-hat, windblown hair, and red nose made it look like I was ready to pile out of a miniature car with 35 other friends.

For a writer, this kind of honest feedback can be pure gold.

Because when well-intentioned people inadvertently blurt out untrammeled insights — it can provide you quick inroads to trouble areas of your work.

I mean, if a favorite uncle thought my horse was a dog… or an innocent child said I looked like a clown… well, it makes no sense to argue with that kind of insight. (“Damn you, Uncle, that’s a horse not a dog…”).

Instead, set aside your ego and USE the feedback.  This is where the cool, ego-less attitude of the real professional comes in.

In direct response writing, especially, you can glean stunningly-useful information this way.

For example: I often plop down my copy in front of people I consider to be a perfect prospect for the product I’m writing about.

I KNOW I have a winner when they ask if they too can buy the product.

In one instance my unsuspecting subject asked how the client “could afford to give away so many free bonuses”. I knew right then and there that at least THAT part of the ad copy was effective.

But here’s the thing: You should not DEPEND on this kind of “from the mouths of babes” feedback. It’s hit or miss and is almost never followed up with concrete advice.

Which brings me to the fourth kind of critic:

4. The older brother… or what I call “The Mentor”.

Okay… let’s be clear about something. When it comes to direct sales copywriting, there’s usually serious money on the line…

… building websites, PPC campaigns, banner ads, shopping carts, hosting, not to mention the hard costs of producing the product itself (including paying the writer, if you’re using a hired gun).

Which means there’s a mountain of pressure on the writer. The ad must perform.

Split testing and continual tweaking will later on help direct and focus the pitch, yes. Wonderful stuff, testing.

However… for the original out-of-the-chute version, you’ve got to start somewhere. You need the raw first effort, to be able to test or tweak.

Which, for the pro writer… means you’re coming up with your best initial “shot in the dark” control piece.

And, with so much on the line… and with you as the only one critiquing the writing at this point… means you need an outside opinion on your work.

Your top-choice option is of course to seek out expert advice from someone who understands the sales process… and can give you specific constructive criticism.

Like my older brother, a self-professed artist, who pointed out the horse’s legs were too short.

THAT is specific constructive criticism.

Or John Carlton.

Some 15 years ago — when we first met — John had me rip-up an ad that I had worked on for over four days.

Our telephone conversation went something like this:

“Hi John. Did you get the ad I faxed you?”

“Yes Jim, I got it. Could you please print it off while we’re on the phone here?”

“I’ve got it open on my computer, John. I’m looking at the ad right now.”

“Good.  Print it off anyway.”

“Uh, John… I could make any edits right here on the computer.”

“No. Print it.”

“Okay… one second.”  Sound of printer clanking away.

“You have it printed yet?”

“Yes, John, I got it.”

“Are you holding in your hands?”

“Yes, John. I’ve got it in my hand right now.”

“Good. Now tear the piece of shit up.”

“What?”

“You heard me. I said tear it up.”

“(sigh) Uh… okay John, I get it. It’s not very good…”

“No-no-no. Jimbo… you’re still not hearing me. Listen very carefully. I want you to set down the phone, hold that copy up to the receiver, and tear it up. I want to HEAR you tearing it up. I would also ask you to burn it, but I’m afraid you’d probably torch your whole damn office in the process.”

I did exactly what he demanded and tore it to shreds.

After that, John started improvising a sales message straight off the top of his head which was a hundred times better than what I had worked on for four long days.

Over the next months John continued to provide me deep insights and feedback on everything I wrote.

He taught me the advanced 17-point layout of a sales message… tricks to overcoming sales-killing objections… how to drive home the most important selling points… super-persuasive bullet-writing tips… how to establish proper voice and cadence… and on and on.

Thus began my road to fortune and fame. Writing sales copy, I learned, is a very specific and delicate process that would NOT come to me in my sleep.

I needed to learn it through coaching and mentoring.

John’s become a lot nicer in his old age. But it was my willingness to accept tough constructive criticism that ultimately allowed me to move forward.  (John used to be oh-so-proud of occasionally making clients cry during his “tough love” consultations… and it’s hilarious to see some of those clients brag about it later, wearing their tears like badges. “Carlton made me cry once.  Thank God I had the sense to get past the pain of that reality check, and implement what he was telling me…”  He’s not a mean guy — in fact, he’s way too generous with his advice and help — but he will not waste time soothing anyone’s ego when money’s on the line, or the future of a business venture.  So, while he’s mellowed somewhat, he’ll still kick your freakin’ butt when you deserve it.)

I now make a very comfortable living from the skills he taught me. You can too.

It’s like something I read from screen writing expert Syd Fields.  He pointed out that there was an extreme SHORTAGE of screenwriters in Hollywood.

What? Shortage of screenwriters in Hollywood? Heck, didn’t every waitress and delivery boy in LA have a tattered script tucked away in their hip pocket ready to whip-out at a moment’s notice?

Yes, Syd acknowledged that WAS the case.

But his point was this: There are very few QUALIFIED screen writers… people who know the craft, understand how to tell a story… and are capable of formatting a script so that a producer can use it as a blueprint to actually MAKE a movie.

It’s the same with writing effective sales message.

There is an extreme SHORTAGE of good direct response writers.

Which means you and other copywriters are now faced with enormous opportunity.

And there’s something else working to your advantage too:  Today, almost all online markets are extremely vulnerable.

It’s true. Prove it to yourself. Take 20 minutes and cruise the internet. The place is a direct marketer’s wet-dream… and yet it’s top-heavy with poor or non-existent sales copy.

Which means one well-written sales campaign could easily high-jack and dominate any one of these markets.

This is once-in-a-lifetime stuff… like strolling the gold fields of California in 1848 deciding which one you’ll tap into.

The downside: History has shown that gaps like this fill up fast. But right now, as it sits, anyone possessing even crude skills to create effective sales copy can crush the competition for their own product…

… or for the products of countless fumbling industries.

But it all hinges on your willingness to set aside the ego and accept some simple construction feedback and coaching advice…

… from someone other than your mom.

Fortune awaits you… but it won’t wait forever.

For better marketing,

Jimmy Curley

P.S. John here again.

Did you spit up coffee?

I’ve seen a lot of people snort stuff out through their nose upon hearing that “Now, tear it up” tale for the first time.  And it’s all true.  (Also true: I’ve mellowed.  A bit.)

Now…

… if you, too, want to learn all the details (and inside sneaky shortcuts) to writing sales message at the same scary level that respected experts like Jimbo (and all the other writers I’ve helped) now regularly perform at…

… then get your butt over to the Simple Writing System right now.

Just go here:

Finally learn the pro-level secrets of writing sales copy… fast, simple and easy.

Just check it out, okay?  See what you’ve been missing.

P.P.S. Also, if you want to see what kind of Tough Love gets ladled out during a standard phone consultation with me, just pop up to the Consulting tab up at the top of this page, and follow the simple instructions for contacting my assistant Diane.

Monday, 8:28pm
Reno, NV
“Just take those old records off the shelf, I’ll sit n’ listen to ‘em by myself…” (Bob Seger)

Howdy…

At the end of this post, I’ll explain how you can win a bitchin’ prize that will make you the envy of all your friends forever.

First, though — let’s learn something about marketing to humans, whadya say?

Here’s two quick “how to deal with the screaming chaos” tips for everyone in business today who’s just a tad freaked-out at the way things seem to changing so damned FAST:

Screaming Chaos-Dealing Tip #1: If you’re older, you need to cultivate solid relationships with younger folks who can help you understand the Zeitgeist of the dominant culture out there.  (Yes, even if you hate it.  Especially if you hate it, actually.)

And I’m not talking about having your nephew program your TV remote while you mow the lawn.

Nope.  I’m talking about entrepreneur-minded young adults, who just happen to be totally wired into the Grid…

… and can translate current trends while offering you some solid, smart perspective.

And…

Screaming Chaos-Dealing Tip #2: If you’re a young entrepreneur, you need to cultivate relationships with geezers who can give you some perspective on how we GOT to this current state of affairs.

Key thing to remember: You must limit your cross-generational relationships to smart, aware, and open-minded people.

Which means you’re fishing in a VERY tiny pool.

For the most part, the generations despise each other.  Partly because of the tendency for folks to stay within their peer group both socially and economically… and partly because most old farts get grumpy, and most young studs develop an intolerable arrogance right after their first flush of pubescence.

I was an arrogant little punk when I was young.  And I remember meeting some girl’s father at a party, who took me aside twice during the evening.  The first time to admonish me (with finger waggling in my face) for having long hair and a bad attitude (and I did), which he insisted was gonna ruin my chances for living a good life (and also negate any chance I had with dating his daughter)…

… and the second time — after he’d drained a bottle of Scotch — he took me aside to tearfully explain how much he wished he was young again (sob, choke) and how us kids had it right about life while his generation was a pack of fools…

… and could I maybe move in with him and his wife and daughter, cuz I was such a wonderful, awesome dude?  (I respectfully declined.)

That pretty much summed up my youthful insight toward the elder generation: Conflicted, embarrassingly creepy when they tried to “rap” with us, and kinda sloppy with the booze.

And I hoped I died before I got old.

Then, one day I was in a big business meeting… and realized I was ten years older than the next oldest entrepreneur in the room.  I had, in what seemed like a freakin’ blink, gone from the young hotshot kid in the room, to the grizzled veteran guy.  Twenty years had passed.

Lemme tell you, I now have some solid respect for the weirdness that is growing older in American culture.

My saving grace is that I’ve never been an “ageist” — defined as someone who discriminates against others on the basis of age.  It’s a stupid concept… but the culture kind of ensures it happens, because there are precious few chances for the generations to legitimately interact and fairly judge each other.

I lucked out.  Back in college, my anthropology prof forced us to get out into the community, find people in the very late stages of life… and record their stories.  (Or flunk her course.  She was an early mentor, and knew how to get stuff done, tell you what.)

THAT was a genuine wake-up call for me. The older generation wasn’t much for trying to communicate with the younger one, and vice versa… (our motto:  ”Don’t trust anyone over 30″)…

… and yet, once all the bullshit labels were yanked away, and real listening occurred…

… well, hell.  These were fascinating people, brimming with life experience I could only hope to encounter myself.  And they had fallen in love, suffered tragedy, made mistakes, lucked into a few good things, and had adventures that made the sci-fi stuff I was devouring look shallow and dull.

It’s not across the board, of course.  Some people never do anything worth telling a story about, and others are just plain boring zombies mad at the world.

But then, this applies equally to many of your peer group, no matter what age you are, or what segment of the socio-economic-ethnic culture you’re from.

So it’s important to always be on the lookout for people of all stripes and thinking that can add value to your life.  Regardless of anything else that defines them.  The real wealth in this all-too-short ride is to enjoy the full gamut of what’s on the menu.

And this brings us to the subject of this post.

Which is very much NOT earth-shaking…

… but is, rather, one of those interesting “little pieces of psychology” that nevertheless work their way into the top of your Bag Of Tricks as a salesman.

The lesson here will help any marketer trying to reach across the generational divide… and give you a hint as to how people have changed in the actual ways they measure each other up.

Here’s the story: Michele’s nephew David is (and I can back this up) among the savviest and most intensely-geared-toward-success entrepreneurs of his generation.  And he’s in his mid-twenties, for cryin’ out loud.

He’s my go-to dude whenever I have questions about how the younger generation thinks and acts.  (His biz is Next Big Sound, a company he started while still at Northwestern that is working with all the big music companies.  It’s basically a focal point online to measure how hot new bands spread their music far and wide.  Very hip, very ultra-modern, very cutting-edge… and taking complete advantage of the Web.)

And yeah, David has helped me program much of the various computerized and mechanical crap I’ve stuffed into my office.  (He’s been a life-saver, especially when I switched from PC to Mac.)

He is as deeply grounded in his generation’s psyche and habits as anyone you’ll meet.

And I’m a glutton for observing the cerebral changes constantly happening in our culture. I like to find sneaky shortcuts to understanding how people in my target markets THINK and ACT.

So… while the following may seem trivial to some readers…

… let me assure you that the underlying psychology is profound for any marketer looking to connect with an audience.

Here’s the exchange David and I had a short time ago:

Yo, David…

In my time (last century), you could walk into someone’s living quarters, spend 5 minutes perusing their record collection and the books on their shelves…

… and pretty much know what you needed to know about them.  Straight, square, hip, cool, interesting, or boring.  (Or how much dough they had, based on the number of new albums vs. used record store buys.) (And how obsessive they were, by how well they treated their collections, and what kind of stereo/turntable/components they had.)

For example: A single Carpenter’s record (or a Yanni cassette) was like 3 straight strikes, if you were dating.  And more than one Yes album (or not owning Dark Side of the Moon) was a sure clue you were dealing with a nerd.

So…

… is there an equivalent for YOUR generation?  Do you hop on Facebook and check out anything specific, say, the way my gen studied albums and bookshelves?

Seems like most iTunes libraries are too large, and too casual, to get much info.  But maybe I’m wrong.

See, my generation didn’t spend money easily.  If you bought an album, you agonized over it.  It meant something.  Same with books.

Now, at 99cents per tune, your Iggy Pop and Queens of the Stone Age mixes don’t necessarily mean you even like the music.  Does it?

Or would you look for more general things, like emo, or trance, or hip hop vs rock, or something like that?

Thanks.  This might be a great blog post (for my generation, and for the marketers in yours).

John

David’s reply (and I’ve left his random capitalization and slang intact… another clue to his gen’s writing style, which reflects their agile thinking processes):

Hi John.

Spoke with a friend about this yesterday and debated the various cultural things we consume that also represent us… came up with a few things:

iTunes library / iPod

What’s in someone’s iTunes library doesn’t mean anything. Our libraries have gotten so stuffed with random hard drive dumps of music over the past 10 years that browsing someone’s library is impossible (it’s too big) and determining their taste from that selection sucks. You nailed it with the ‘costs money to buy an album’ argument that used to hold true, now everything’s so free/cheap there isn’t enough scarcity for it to matter. That is, until you sort someone’s library by play count. Seeing the Top 100 songs someone has listened to is totally telling. Which leads into…

last.fm scrobbling

Last.fm is a sort of popular social network around music that CBS bought for a ton of money a few years back ($280mil). It’s pretty simple – anywhere I listen to music that has the ability to ‘scrobble’ reports to last.fm what I’m listening to and then shows me all sorts of cool stats and my musical affinity with another person. It’s always a good proxy for if I’ll get along with someone.  Here’s my profile: http://www.last.fm/user/dodecasyllabic

fragmentation/long tail/top 40/the radio/the internet

After writing all that I realized two things. There’s been so much talk about the long tail and the internet fragmenting things and there never being another Johnny Carson because how the hell would all of america crowd around our TVs all the time when we have the internet now. That’s the first thing – there’s some fundamental thing that prevents massive selling albums and everyone the same age liking similar stuff. But the second thing is that I think there are really two types of people – those that still listen to the radio and know what’s on the Top 40 and those that only consume via the internet and have no idea what’s ‘popular’. There’s hybrids, of course, but that’s the bigger thing that separates people now – are they ‘internet’ people or normals? My view is probably skewed since I’m pretty much always surrounded by internet people – they find their music on Mp3 blogs and Hype Machine and started subscribing early to rdio like I did.

what blogs they follow in google reader

Seeing what someone chooses to read on a regular basis, and if they choose to read on a regular basis beyond facebook status updates and gossip sites at all, is pretty big.

who they follow on twitter

I like seeing who I follow in common with someone on twitter. That’s telling. They opt-in to these streams… and who they choose says a lot, i think..

So is there an equivalent in my generation? no, probably not. and that’s a bit unfortunate… but you figure it out pretty quickly by putting some music on and seeing how they react. lucky for me I always have an excuse to talk about music because of NBS and that helps figure it out quickly…

David

All right… so is this a huge wake-up call for marketers?

Perhaps… if you’ve been cross-marketing to generations and you hadn’t yet realized how differently each one “measures up” new people.  Or communicates with their peers.

The main lesson: You’re never gonna be totally hip to someone in a different generation.

I mean, I still think the current crop of pop stars are embarrassingly untalented twits… and I will never, ever understand how rap became a cultural mainstay.  (Though I like hip-hop.)

And this comes from a guy who — in my own youth — worshipped garage bands who could barely play their instruments (the Seeds, the Stones, the Ramones, etc)…

… and who remained oblivious of my father’s discontent with “that damn racket“, which was so awfully different than the smooth swing jazz he grew up with in the 40s.

Still… you should try to at least know the fundamentals of how current market segments communicate (or fail to communicate) with each other.  And how peer groups spread the message on anything (your old-school “word of mouth”).

Just don’t be that old guy with a comb-over trying to be hip around the kids, getting all your slang wrong.  (“Hey, kiddo’s, I’m a hip jivester, too, gimme some skin, man…”)

And please — if you’re a kid — don’t tell me your favorite Beatle’s song is “Yellow Submarine” and expect that to start any kind of bonding process.  I was Kinks’ kinda dude, anyway…

PRIZE!

Okay, time for the game.

Here’s the task, and reward: The first person to name all the albums in the photo up top, in the comments section (don’t try to trump anyone by going to Facebook, now)…

… wins a free copy of my book “Kick-Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel“… personally signed by me.  You’ll be the coolest kid on your block.

This is easily the toughest task I’ve ever had in this blog.  Some of those albums are freakin’ obscure… and there are a couple where all you can see are small bits of the cover.  (If I have to start dropping hints, I’ll start in a day or so.)

I imagine some Boomer who lived a life parallel to mine will scoop this one quickly.  Or some kid who grew up surrounded by Daddy’s tattered album collections…

Anyway, the comment section is open for any thread you wanna start, besides the contest.

Got any good stories or tactics to share on quickly evaluating someone?

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. I might be a big slow to respond in the comments — next week is Golf Week with my old pal and partner Stan Dahl.  Five days of scurrying around the finest links we can locate, with no distractions.

We’ve done this every year for around 15 years now.  Done it in Key West, Los Angeles, San Diego, Orlando, Phoenix, the California coast near Big Sur, Tahoe, Las Vegas…

… all over the freakin’ map.  It’s killer fun.  And I knew we were on to a good tradition when I noticed that other golfers we mentioned Golf Week to always got this misty-eyed look, obviously wishing they could come along.  Or have their own tradition going.

Ah, the stories Stan and I have.  Can’t share ‘em here, of course.

Still, I’ll be checking in through the wonders of the World Wide Web.  So, carry on.

Saturday, 3:26pm
Rancho Cucamonga, CA
“Hot fun in the summertime…” (Sly Stone)

Howdy.

I’ve been doing some Critical Think (trademarked term, by me) about one of the main keys to “real” communication with your fellow humans: Empathy.

Not sympathy.  Empathy is a very different animal — it’s where you essentially walk a mile in the other guy’s shoes.  You start, conduct, and end all conversations with active knowledge of how the other guy is perceiving your side of the tale…

… and you actually give a damn how he’s reacting.

Empathy is not just a secret weapon in your tool kit…

… it’s the freakin’ nuclear bomb of high-end communication.

And it’s so powerful, because most folks simply do not possess it.  The vast majority of your neighbors and brethren think, speak and act from inside a confining little echo chamber where their own prejudices, beliefs, notions and cockamamie thoughts completely dominate.

And there is almost zero chance of anything contrary penetrating that white noise in their brains.

Thus, marketers get mad at customers, entrepreneurs ignore opportunity and pitfalls with equal obliviousness, and biz owners with superior products are passed over by prospects.

You know who wins?  Savvy politicians, con men, and psychopaths.  The dudes who cynically know how to turn on the charm and say all the right things to get what they want.

By far the hardest thing I’ve been trying to teach people over my career… is that good salesmanship is a tool.  Like a hammer.  A hammer works to pound nails into the foundation of your dream house… just as effectively as it can pound holes in the head of your mother-in-law when you finally lose it.

The hammer doesn’t care who’s using it, or for what purpose.

That’s why, when I teach high-end salesmanship, I express the fervent hope that anyone using what I teach to push unethical shit will die and rot in hell.

And that using good salesmanship tactics will vastly improve the bottom line for ethical, honest businesses.  Because the tactics that work to persuade people to vote for corrupt politicians, or sleep with smooth-talking psychos, or buy into scams…

… also work to deliver good policies, find true love, and fill your life with excellent products that do what they’re supposed to do.

It’s just ironically harder to convince decent folks to USE these tactics. The con-men jump on it, because they pay attention to the bottom line (and often only get one shot at convincing their victim to come aboard… so they’re not interested in anything that doesn’t persuade, and persuade quickly).

My goal is to force people to realize what’s going on… so they don’t get fooled, and they understand how to sell and influence others through good salesmanship practices.

And smack at the top of the list of good salesmanship tools…

… is empathy.

So how do you boost your empathy muscles?  How do you go from being oblivious of your fellow humans, to actually understanding where they’re coming from?

Easy.

You simply stop reacting to life as it swirls around you…

… and start looking critically at how you, and others, deal with stuff.

How about some real-world examples from the real world laboratory we all live in, examined critically:

Real World Lab Example #1: Recently, I was pretty much molested by TSA while going through security at the local airport.

It pissed me off.  I copped an attitude.  And I very did not enjoy being:

(a) manhandled…

(b) ordered around by someone whose prior job was flipping burgers, who robotically repeated consoling words in a threatening manner (obey or die)…

(c) exposed to x-rays I didn’t want…

(d) given no alternative choices…

(e) all in a futile piece of badly-performed theater that I knew did nothing to make me safer in that airport.

The normal reaction, of course, is to put a muzzle on your fury, just get through the gauntlet without being profiled (or hauled off to the interrogation room), and move on to the next indignity of modern air travel as quickly as possible.

Ah… but for the student of salesmanship, this is an excellent opportunity to Critical Think (trademarked) the situation…

… and catalog both your own emotional reactions, AND the ongoing mental state of the TSA employees.

That’s hard to do, at first.  Because your instinct is to be victimized by your own responses, and, at best, not to dwell on them.  Most folks truly believe we have no control over emotions, and it’s our lot to just float on the surface of Life like flotsam, bounced about and drifting with the tide.

Which isn’t so. It’s a shock at first to realize that you actually have TOTAL control over your emotional state… including all adrenaline dumps.

But you do have that control available to you.  It’s not part of the default setting in your system, however.  So while you gotta work to master it… it can nevertheless be done.

And you start by cataloging what you’re feeling when overtaken by emotion.

Where are you feeling it?  Did your stomach tighten up?  Did your shoulders hunch, while a jungle-level snarl curled your lip?  Did your eyes narrow, fists clench, chin jut?

How infuriated were you?  Would you rejoice if one of your abusers suddenly curled up in a heart attack?

Or would an honest apology from one of them have dissipated your rage like a sponge soaking up a spill?

Don’t let this opportunity to examine and catalog your state pass by.

Even better… try to see it from the other side, too.

TSA employees, most of them, are just doing their job.  They don’t make the rules, and most of them are embarrassed and just as not-happy as you are about the whole mess.

Others are Little Hitlers, and love their power over you.  And will use it in a heartbeat if you piss THEM off.  It’s a war of pissed-offed-ness.

For all of them… you’re somewhere between a fellow human just trying to get through security, and a blob of nastiness they must deal with until lunchtime.

How does this help you as a salesman?

Are you kidding?  Have you never dealt with an angry customer?  Have you never gotten mad yourself with prospects who refuse to see the logic of your offer, or who use your product incorrectly, or who lie to get a refund?

A sales transaction, at its most fundamental form, is an inherently hostile act.  Both the buyer and the seller want the best possible deal.

Happiness ensues when it’s perceived as a bargain, yet yields profit.

However, even happy deals can turn nasty when something goes sideways.  As a customer, you can become enraged if you believe you were “taken”, or have buyer’s remorse, or expected results do not happen.  And your fury is righteous, because you’re completely right, and the seller is an evil troll.

As a business owner, you can get your panties in a twist if you have to bring in a collections agency, or face refund requests long after the clearly-stated deadline, or bend over backward to create a killer bargain that leaves you with scraps of profit only to have the idiot customer complain or otherwise ignore your good deed.

And your fury is righteous, because the buyer is an evil troll.

For most folks, the process stops right there, with each party seething and believing they’re on the side of the angels.

A world-class salesman, however, never gets into a head-butting duel when he can just as easily use empathy to see all sides of the story and thus also see the opportunities available to smooth things over… and even enrich the buyer/seller relationship.

You know how to gut the rage directed your way? You empathize.

For me, I felt the pissiness drain instantly when a single TSA employee said with utter earnestness “Sorry about all this.  I hope the rest of your trip goes really smooth.”  I was disarmed of my fury, and even smiled.

And I put the experience in my mental notebook, cuz I know it’ll come in handy.

Real World Lab Example #2: While leaving the plane at our destination, I noticed that the guy ahead of was about to lose his wallet because the bottom of his back pocket had split.

No, I wasn’t looking at his ass.  I was just navigating the jet-way.  There weren’t any asses in that motley group of fellow passengers worth looking at.  Sigh.  Not like that time I flew into Miami in a plane loaded with a women’s volleyball team…

Where was I?

Oh, yeah.  So I excuse myself to the guy as I pass, and say “Dude, you’re about to lose your wallet.”

He looks at me in confusion, having been jostled out of his travel daze.  He quickly puts a hand on his wallet, which is still there…

… and then levels a gaze of pure suspicion and budding anger back at me.  An immediate WTF reaction to someone talking about his wallet.

“Your back pocket’s split open,” I said.  And suddenly, as he felt the pocket and realized I wasn’t a gloating thief, he was all thankful and apologetic…

… and feeling like he owed me a favor or something.

The difference between him thinking I was up to something no good… and thinking I was a good guy just trying to help… was two seconds worth of communication.

If I hadn’t explained the situation — and left it at the first comment — he may have called over a cop.  With another breath of explanation, however, I was a hero.

Something to consider as you make your sales messages lean and mean.  There’s a point where you can strip it down too far, and lose the meaning you intended.

And all hell can break loose if you do.

Real World Lab Example #3: Finally… during my trip, I hung out with my grand-nieces and grand-nephew at both the hotel pool, and later at Huntington Beach.  (And yes, I went down the water slide head-first, and took a boogie-board into the surf.  The most satisfying, raw summer fun imaginable sober.)

At the pool, there was a woman sunning herself, who avoided acknowledging anyone else’s presence.  A gang of alcohol-addled dudes wandered up, spoke briefly with her, and she waved them off happily as they left for more debauchery.

I decided to work my communication skills… and asked her if she was in town for a school reunion.  Because, I continued, those thugs she was with looked like buddies who hadn’t partied together for a while.

That main thug, she said, was her husband.  And nope, they were from Minnesota and here for a wedding.  She just wanted to soak up some California sun while the boys pretended they were back in college again.

This woman, who a minute ago was oblivious to my existence, was now a Chatty Cathy eager to know what our story was…

… and (this is important) just laughed when I called her husband a thug.

That could have gone the other way, you know.  But I was pretty sure I understood her situation — like a good detective (as all great salesman are), I put together multiple clues and figured out (almost) what her situation was.  And by applying my own experience with both being out-of-town for an event, wanting to do something different than everyone else (sun by the pool instead of drink beer to the point of vomiting)…

… and not minding a little conversation with strangers.

Calling her hubby a thug could have started a brawl.  But in the context — by applying the smallest amount of bonding by showing insight — it got a laugh.

This was carefully applied communication.

Later, at the beach, our group — 6 adults and 3 kids — was asked to move by a lifeguard… because a vicious riptide was dragging people out to sea at the spot we had just set up.

As we picked up our ridiculous load of blankets, towels, food, umbrellas, boogie boards and other beach paraphernalia…

… I noticed another large family just beginning to settle down.  So I went up and told the mother about the warning from the now-gone lifeguard.

She looked at me in near-despair.  And I realized that she was thinking “Oh great… NOW where do we go?”  I hadn’t given her the complete story.

So I told her that the lifeguard had said the riptide eased up just past Station 6, right down the beach about 50 yards.

This simple exchange of specifics took her instantly from knowing there was a problem, but not knowing what to do next…

… to having a clear roadmap of what to do.

Essentially, I “sold” her on not being a victim to a problem she hadn’t even known existed… and gave her an easy solution.

These examples may seem small, but I assure you the vast majority of your fellow humans botch it up almost every time.  They half-communicate, and cause misunderstandings and hurt feelings and suspicion.  They mumble, they’re vague… and they’re smug when they win and pissy when they lose.

Living life fully aware gives you communication tools that will change your life… and the lives of people you deal with.

Work on your own chops.  And never let a good chance to explore both sides of a situation go to waste.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. All comments welcome.  Cuz I know what you’re thinking…

Saturday, 2:33pm
Reno, NV
“When I look back on all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all…” (Paul Simon, “Kodachrome”)

Howdy.

Someone recently asked me to offer a clue on how to nurture critical thinking.

It’s a fair question.  And while I’m no neuro-scientist, I talk about critical thinking a lot, because it’s the foundation of great writing, killer salesmanship, and engaging the world with your throttle wide open.

However, it’s not an easy subject to grasp if you’ve seldom taken your brain out for a spin around the Deep Thought Track (as most folks have not).

So let’s explore it a little bit here…

Critical Think Point #1: Yes, I know the headline on this article is a grammatical car wreck.  It should be “how to think critically”, or at least “how to critically think”.

But this botched phrasing is actually part of the lesson I’m sharing here.

Consider:  The vast majority of people sleep-walk through their lives and careers, never going beneath the surface of anything.  They process, at most, a small fraction of the information they see, hear or read about.

It’s pretty much GIGO.  Garbage in, garbage out.

So the first job of any good marketer is to deliver some level of brain-rattling wake-up call for the prospect.  To literally jolt them out of their semi-permanent reverie, and initiate a more conscious state of awareness.

Cuz you can’t expect a somnambulant zombie to be proactive about following through with your request for buying something.  Or opting in.  Or even just continuing to read.

Thus: Good ad writers make full use of the incongruous juxtaposition of compelling sales elements — or, for short, the “hook”.

Ideally, you want the induced “WTF?” reaction strong enough to unleash a splash of adrenaline, or even physically make ‘em bolt up and take notice.  (As in, “That can’t be right! This violates my entire sense of what’s real!”)

However, you’ll also take a milder reaction, as long as you get a reaction.  And a little slang, or some nifty grammatical tweaking can sometimes do the job.

Now, a word of caution: To jumble up common phrases or to use slang in something important for your bottom line — which is the definition of any ad — requires you to consider the consequences.  And to completely understand the reactions you’re going to trigger.

This should be an easy step for any marketer.  Just think about your audience, and get in touch with how they’re going to receive the message you’re sending out.

And yet, most marketers just won’t do it.  They base expensive, long-term campaigns on vague ideas of how the message is gonna resonate (or not resonate) with prospects.  It’s not even “ready, fire, aim”.  It’s “just throw it out there, and pray it works.”

So the first step to developing a “critical think” mindset: Start walking a mile in the other guy’s shoes.  Really consider what your prospect’s life is like, what fuels his movements in the world, why he does what he does.

You can’t do this casually.  You’ve got to elbow your own ego and belief systems aside, and deflect snap judgements before they take hold.

Critical Think Point #2: In short…

… you’ve got to start thinking like a salesman.  And see your prospects (and the world in general) not as you wish they were…

… and not as you believe they should be.

Instead, you start looking at people and things as they ARE.  The raw reality, minus all spin.

Opinions, common sense, long-held beliefs, even principles and convictions…

… it all has to run the gauntlet of your internal Bullshit Detector.

This includes both the other guy’s actions and thinking behaviors…

… and your own.

You gotta clear your brain of a LOT of nonsense before you can even begin to approach the “truth” of any situation.  As a human, your default setting is to believe that your thoughts, actions, codes of honor, and beliefs are the real deal.

And you measure everything else against that rock-solid bastion of truth and goodness that hogs all the attention in your mind.

So, first: Realize that the other guy has the SAME default setting.

He is positive beyond question that he’s right, and you’re an idiot.  Just like you were thinking how much of a moron he is, and how lucky you are to be so righteous and close to the “real” truth.

This gets heavy, quickly.

You also need to run your instincts (and gut feelings) constantly through your BS Detector, especially when you start out…

… because we’re all front-loaded with piles of unchallenged assumptions, erroneous notions you mistakenly think is “common sense”, and vast rivers of lingering Big Lies and propaganda that has been fed to you for decades by teachers, the media, your parents and The Man.

Basically, you just gotta get over your bad self… and then get past the surface layers of the market you’re in (and all the people populating it)…

… and get clear on how people actually behave and act.

For example, they will SAY they always buy “quality” over cost, when asked…

… and then consistently choose bargain-priced crap over the slightly more expensive well-made stuff when it comes to opening their wallet.

That’s just the tip of it, but it’s a clue.

When you start adopting critical thinking, you are scuba-diving deep into the seldom-explored hidden realities of The Adventure Of Humans In The Asphalt Jungle (otherwise known as The Big Soap Opera We All Live In).

You can no longer be like the typical oblivious neighbor of the recently-caught serial killer, who always says to the TV crew “He seemed like a regular guy… kinda shy, I guess, but he kept the yard looking nice…”.

Oblivious marketers get eaten.

Critical Think Point #3: Finally (for this session, anyway)…

… start actively re-examining everything you read and hear.  (Everything, including news articles, data, info-rich books, email, all of it.)

Here’s a simple trick: Re-word what you read if you aren’t “getting it”.  You can do this in your head, or write it down if that helps.

When I wrote “critical think” instead of “critical thinking” for the title of this article, I was reconstructing a common phrase that usually goes into one ear and straight out the other.

Tweaking common language is like a big stop sign for your brain.  Try it, next time you’re reading something you feel is important.  Reconstruct the concepts, sentences, and ideas into new language.

Have fun with it, too.  Consider how the concept might be interpreted in street slang, or translated for an 8-year-old.

Force your brain not to just be a passive “intake bucket”…

… but to examine stuff to the point that you can rephrase it without losing the meaning.

Even if it’s nonsensical.  (In fact, you’ll remember nonsensical phrases better, because they’re strangely memorable.  The first poem I ever learned, which I still remember, was from a Roger Miller song: “Roses are red, and violets are purple, sugar is sweet and so is maple surple.”  Memorable.)

To sum up: The initial steps of developing some critical think chops are…

1) Wake up and start thinking like a salesman.

2) Tune your Bullshit Detector up to high, permanently.  Use it on yourself, first, and then blast the rest of the world with it as you go.

3) And, practice absorbing info to the point of being able to translate it into something an 8-year-old would understand.

We’ll explore #3 more later.  The act of deconstructing ideas and plans and sales messages is THE main tool in any good marketer’s kit.

For now, let’s hear if you think I’ve missed something with these first steps.

Cuz part of being awake is to take your ideas out for a walk in the cold, cynical world every now and then, and invite pot-shots.  See if the little buggers can withstand scrutiny and abuse.

So have at it in the comments.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. I’m wondering who’s gonna be first to name that Roger Miller song?

Wednesday, 10:36pm
Reno, NV
“To the moon, Alice!” (Ralph Kramden)

Howdy…

I’m recycling a post from a little while back, because it’s on a subject that can never be discussed too many times…

… especially when it’s important that you establish a real, visceral connection with people to make your business work.

In fact, what I’m bring up here is much more critical to creating effective advertising than many of the obvious things people tend to focus on (like “long copy versus shot copy”, or how to test offers).

Listen: If you understand how to use the powerful tool explained below…

… you can screw up almost every other part of creating your ad (or video, or website, or email, or whatever you’re using to get your story across)… and still crush it with results.

So ignore the details in this dusty post (like references to “Six Feet Under”, that great HBO series now long-gone)…

… and know that the insight revealed here will forever be one of the most influential you’ll ever use in marketing.

In fact, it’s just becoming more and MORE important as social media and info-overwhelm continues to nudge everyone toward ADHD-Land, where attention spans are pathetic and fundamental human emotions like empathy wither.

Here’s the post (with a few edits and some added stuff):

Jeez Louise. Did you catch Sunday’s episode of “Six Feet Under”, with the jarring funeral scenes?

It was… shattering.

I was jarred back to every funeral I’d ever attended, and had emotions wrung out of me I’d long forgotten about.

Screw reality TV. The truly well-written fictional shows (most of them on HBO) can still rattle your cage like classic literature.

That episode was quality emotional-wringing.

Got me thinking, too. About empathy. And writing.

I’ve known people who seem to have shut down their empathy gears… and it becomes evident when they lose the ability to get outside of themselves and see the world from other people’s viewpoint.  Movies require you to emotionally connect with the characters…

… and I recall uncles who fell asleep during the pea-soup-spewing scenes in “The Exorcist”…

… friends who laughed all through “Jaws”…

… and (in a real-world example) even an acquaintance who wondered what the big deal was when a colleague freaked out over a cherished cat’s sudden demise.

I also first saw “Saving Private Ryan” with a friend who was still a little shaky over his years in Vietnam during the war. He’d asked me to see it with him for moral support… and while he didn’t seem to have a tough time watching the movie, I kept an eye on him anyway, not sure what sort of poison might be brewing back up.

Those three films — and my experience with pets and people dying and careers ending and relationships imploding — were all emotionally jarring on various levels. And they were executed by master craftsmen, using scripts written by writers who knew where the tender spots were in most audiences.

I always feel a little estranged from people who either are — or claim to be — removed from emotional reactions.

In real life, we mostly experience things from inside our heads or along the contours of our immediate senses. It’s a claustrophobic point-of-view even the best Hollywood-quality cameras can’t yet mimic. In real life, everything happens just outside (or just within) our personal space, moment by moment, with no editing and no replay button.

When you personally feel emotional trauma, it’s a shock-inducing trial by fire that consumes you.

However, watching a TV show or a movie is a removed experience — pure voyeurism. You’re not there. It’s not happening to you. It shouldn’t have the same power as real life.

And yet… sometimes all the emotion of the real experience IS there, bubbling up from deep inside.

All the good writers I know are drenched with emotional self-knowledge and empathy for the emotional experiences of others. We aren’t walking around sobbing hysterically… but we are easily overcome with the feeling of a situation.

Sometimes too easily. Several times, while speaking at seminars, I’ve gone off on tangents about something I really cared about, and felt myself start to choke up. I had to back off, and take a long moment to settle down and re-gather my wits. I know other speakers — the good ones — have had similar experiences.

And I often — often — finish writing something and realize I’ve got tears streaming down my face, and I’m deep into a tub of emotional goo I’ve created as I type.

This extra dose of emotion is no accident. You cannot be a good writer without empathy — without understanding, personally, what it’s like to feel everything humans are capable of feeling.

At full strength, too. The industrial-quality stuff.

The intensity of your ability to feel infuses your writing with power, and a connection to the most complex tragedies, comedies and dramas of human interaction.

In short… feeling strong emotions is a good thing.

If your emotions are in lock-down… from a bad childhood, or from a misguided sense of what it takes to be a man or woman (or leader or executive or parent or biz owner or anything else)… you will never be able to get into another person’s head.

And you’ll never find that sweet spot of need and connection that makes great literature great… and great sales copy a license to print money.

You don’t have to become a Drama Queen.

But you do need to stop pretending that emotions are some foreign intrusion on your coolness. Embrace your ability to know joy, sadness and yes, even pain. These are the building blocks of a well-lived life… and of a very, very, very effective writer.

No one gets out of here without a few tears.

Be a sap. It will help you engage with life more fully, and write with real passion.

Step One: Examine your capacity for empathy right now.  Watch a TV show critically, and know that in most dramas there will be set times when the writers have inserted emotionally-rigged triggers for viewers — they are purposefully trying to tweak your heartstrings or your feelings of fear, sadness, or hope for the good guy to win.

Check yourself for responses.  I know that every episode of “House”, for example, will test me emotionally (usually 47.5 minutes into the show, when a moment of truth arrives for the patient).  (Just kidding — I haven’t timed it.  But I’ll bet I’m close.)  ”SVU – Special Victims Unit” will present the same assault on your emotions.  Re-runs of “Everybody Loves Raymond” and “Two And A Half Men” are rife with them.

You don’t need to burst into tears to know your empathy gears are working.  But you do need to know HOW you respond to both well-written and poorly-written attempts to tweak your heart and ability to care about others.

Step Two: Your life daily presents you with endless opportunities to embrace your full humanity….

… most of which we self-train ourselves to ignore, dismiss, or even fear.

Get over it.

We are, fundamentally, emotional beings… who have created cultures where open displays of emotion are frowned upon, regarded with horror, or at least saddled with restrictions.

It screws us up in spectacular ways.

As a writer, it’s your job to transcend the shackles of repression that hobble others.  You need to give your emotions a daily work-out, strengthen them, know them as well as you know your favorite tastes, smells and visual pleasures…

… and, most of all, you need to respect them.

The world’s gone shallow on us.  That’s a HUGE opportunity for every writer who gets comfortable with emotion (and especially empathy), and knows how to use it to raise his messages above the puddles of feeling now dominating most folks’ lives.

So sap up.  The best writers are fully aware of EVERY part of being human, and this is the big part.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Hey — on a cool side note…

… if you love rock n’ roll (including alt, rockabilly, grunge, hair bands, etc) and enjoy insights to the seedier side of our culture (TV, Hefner’s mansion, gaudy and desperate grabs for attention)…

… I’ve got the perfect book for you:  ”Everyone Loves You When You’re Dead“, by our pal Neil Strauss.  (Yeah, the guy who wrote “The Game”.)

Get it on Amazon here.

Neil sent me an advance copy, and I can’t put the damn thing down.  It’s all the juicy parts of his interviews with rock royalty (and the even more notorious rock gutter-dwellers) and cultural celebrities that the magazines refused to print (or just couldn’t).  And there are decades worth of jaw-dropping shit here.

Hide this from the kids.

This is a deep, dark, zany and revealing insider’s view of a vast part of our modern civilization.  Neil is a go-for-the-jugular interviewer (which is why a lot of this stuff couldn’t be released before)…

… and for anyone looking for an instant way to get hip to the appeal of “bad boys”, the insanity of celebrity worship, and the bizarre (yet disturbingly-effective) ways culture-movers think…

… this is must-read material.

As a writer, you need to see how this guy does interviews.  Read and learn.

As a marketer, you need to own this insider look at one of the driving forces in the biz world (music, celebrity, media, etc).

And, just as someone living in this wacky world, you need to be alerted (immediately!) to the way your fellow humans are acting, thinking, and plotting.

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll wish you were there with Neil during the interviews (and the shows, and the after-parties)…

… and you’ll want to go hug your loved ones and give thanks your life isn’t being lived in the spotlight.

Killer stuff.  Just grab the damn book, and dive in.

Get it here on Amazon.

Sunday, 3:25
Tampa Bay, Florida
“So I said to the captain, please bring me my wine… he said we haven’t had that spirit here since 1969…” (Hotel California, of course)

Howdy.

Another guest blog post here (while I’m off to get ready for the totally awesome Action Seminar down in sunny San Diego this coming weekend)…

… by our good friend (and notorious freelance copywriter) Kevin Rogers.

I asked him to share the stories below, because they cracked me up when he first told them to me…

… and I realized the lessons for entrepreneurs here are just as solid as the stuff I picked up (early in my own career) from the street-wise salesmen I hung around.

Those real-world lessons from the dudes who knew how to close a deal face-to-face are critical to any decent sales process… even if you’re completely digital and never actually meet your prospects in the flesh.

This stuff is pure gold.  So listen up.  Here’s Kevin…

Thanks, John.

Okay, let me tell you a story about why bellmen don’t mind wearing those goofy uniforms at busy hotels and resorts… and how the lessons I learned in the job fit so well in the entrepreneurial world.

It’s true.  One of the most eye-opening jobs I held in my previous life — before freelance copywriting — was as a main entrance bellman here in Florida.

I learned more about “street-smart selling” in my short time in that role than from any other gig, including stand-up comic, bartender, or even Marketing VP of an online real estate company.

Here’s why…

To make any money at bellhopping, you’ve got to master the careful art of qualifying your prospects. This is ultimately where any business lives or dies.

And there’s really no difference between doing it online or live in the flesh.

Everything you need to know about your best customers takes place in the short trip from “curb to curtains” as we used to call the guest-vetting process in the hotel biz.

The entire exchange might last only seven minutes, but, done right, could easily lead to an extra fifty, a hundred or even $300 in cash (my personal best) from just one guest.  (That guest was an NFL legend, too… and I’ll share the tale with you in a moment.  Killer lesson for marketers…)

Yet, as crucial as knowing the inner workings of your prospect is… one of the most perplexing questions for any marketer I consult with remains: “Who is your ideal customer?”

I’ve watched high profile marketing “gurus” crumble to bits at this simple question.

Of course, nobody wakes up one day with this knowledge… and, like anything worth doing, you’ve got to be willing to engage with life to learn the most valuable lessons.  And make the mistakes you may need to make in order to figure it all out.

I remember the first time (as a wet-behind-the-ears rookie) the other bellman generously allowed me to greet a pair of guests pulling up the hotel drive in a Mercedes Benz.

“This one’s all you, dude,” said the bell captain.

“Seriously? It’s not even my up,” I said, grabbing the shiniest cart.  Oh, boy, I thought.  These guests just reeked of cash.

“It’s cool, man… go get ‘em.”

I spent a full 25 minutes coddling Mr. & Mrs. Mercedes… filling their ice bucket, carefully hanging garments and fielding a barrage of questions about where they could eat while accommodating their “special diets” — even offering to score them VIP discounts at the best restaurants…

… only to be handed a juicy tip of ONE dollar.

I returned to the lobby to find the other bellman smirking as he hustled along his second or third guest since I’d left.

I’d just learned my first real-world lesson in customer profiling.

Now, profiling may be a taboo tactic at airport security, but on a sales floor it’s pure survival tactic.

True… most guys named Mohammed are NOT security threats, and long-haired dudes aren’t always crotching a bag of weed…

… but, for some reason, 99% of older couples driving Mercedes sedans ARE guaranteed to tip their bellman one measly dollar. (Test results over my bellman career were very consistent.)

The gig got more fun once I escaped the downtown Hilton and finagled my way into the most prestigious 5-star resort in town — an elegant beachfront castle called the Don CeSar that felt straight out of Casablanca, with a lobby that screamed “easy livin’”.  (It’s the swanky place behind me in the above photo.)

This time, the lessons arrived a little easier.  The suave, veteran resort bellhops took pity on the rookie, and taught me how to get beyond the confines of the “Gopher” uniform…

… force the guests to look me in the eye…

… and collect the big bucks by providing what it was they really wanted from their stay.

This was my first lesson in becoming, as John often preaches: “The Adult in the Room”.  The person who commands respect (no matter what you’re wearing) and puts clients at ease… while delivering the goods that fit the prospect’s needs like a glove.

There is a simple 3-step process to becoming the Adult in the Room (to steal John’s phrase).  I first developed my version of it in my bellman gig… and this process can help any marketer better serve their customers, make loads more money and build a business that lasts.

In fact, with a little practice, it can guide any entrepreneur or freelance service provider to earn new levels of respect (the key to commanding top fees) from appreciative clients.

Here are the steps:

Step One: Find a starving market, then dig in deep.

Gary Halbert famously said that given the choice of any one advantage when opening a hamburger stand, he’d choose “a starving crowd.”

That’s one of those head-slapping marketing fundamentals that still gets overlooked, at the cost of fortunes, even by entrepreneurs who should know better.

McDonald’s didn’t become McDonald’s by setting out to make the world’s best hamburger. They got there by setting up grills and cash registers in the most trafficked areas on the planet.

Online (especially if you’re selling info products) you’re not going to make your best money serving cheap stuff to the masses.  That model works to an extent, but if you’re after the major bucks, you’ll want to identify the “whales” in the crowd (or, as Halbert called ‘em, “Players With Money”).

To pull this off, you do want to attract the largest amount of prospects possible into your world (i.e. your sales funnel)… so you can start the identification process… and that means giving away irresistible freebies.

As a bellman, we knew the plum opportunities were at the joints bustling with customers (not the places with crickets chirping in the lobby, no matter how famous the name).  And then, once we scored a position in the heart of the starving crowds (even in those starched Gopher uniforms that made us look like AWOL soldiers from the city of Oz) we learned to instantly sift through the “freebee seekers” and identify the best prospects… and get busy.

Here’s how…

Step Two: Provide value and open a dialogue.

For bellmen, the ultimate “elevator chat” occurs just after check-in, while escorting guests to their rooms.

This is akin to welcoming visitors to your squeeze page… where your job is, first, to discover what your best prospects really want (that they often aren’t even thinking of yet)… and then, to be that person who delivers it to them.

Some examples from the hotel:

If it’s a family and they plan to visit the amusement parks… we would hook ‘em up with discount tickets and shuttle service, remind them to bring sunscreen (and even score them free samples), and be their best friendly contact in the hotel.

If it was a “Big Dog” presenting at a seminar… we’d help them get a suit cleaned, shoes polished, a massage therapist, inform him or her of the hours and services available at the business center (a move that could very well save their ass if they woke up to find their speech was left in a different brief case or in a laptop with no power chord).  (And ass-saved customers, as any good salesman knows, can be very appreciative.)

If it was a single dude attending the company’s yearly awards seminar, we’d waste no time pointing him to the nearest… ahem… “gentleman’s” club. (Again, our field tests over the years were very conclusive.)

The key is to discover, within a few casual questions, what you can provide that your guest may not be consciously considering.

And you are not delivering a hard close… just a helping hand.  Very important.

One of my favorite personal touches was one I used at check out.

When the call would come to hustle newlyweds out to their waiting limo and off to the first day of  their honeymoon… I’d often be the first person they’d see the morning after their first magical night together as man and wife.

There was no avoiding the obviousness of what had taken place in that bridal suite before I barged in.

So, to break the tension, I’d hand the groom the morning newspaper and say, “Keep this… some day you’ll wonder what the rest of the world was doing on the best day of your life.”

That touch alone could boost tips as much as 50%.

You can achieve the same result by creating valuable stuff (from good advice, to detailed reports helping them achieve goals) your prospects hugely appreciate… but don’t know they want yet.  The magic happens when they realize you really are that dude who knows what’s going on… and you’re happy to deliver the goods.

Step Three: Grow into the expert who gives your customers what nobody else can.

In marketing, it’s not necessity, but demand that is the Mother of Invention.

When was the last time you surveyed your lists to find out what they’d love to have from you, but aren’t currently getting?

With a responsive list, it really is that easy to create results out of thin air.

(Not doing this is a crime… especially when you consider how successful businesses can pretty much guarantee a profitable product launch just by delivering exactly what their potential buyers ask for.)

I mentioned my record $300 tip from one guest. That was a future NFL Hall of Famer (who is — incredibly — still playing at a high level a full decade later) whose name I won’t reveal out of reverence to guest/bellman privileges.  (Just as confidential as the pact between doctor/patient, lawyer/client, and spy/M.)

Here’s the story: It was 4am when he and his guests arrived, after a full day on the road (and just 48 hours after losing the AFC Championship game, you should know, to my favorite team, which I am also conveniently avoiding mentioning).

He tipped me the first hundred for delivering luggage to his suite.

I told him if there was anything else I could get him, to please not hesitate.

He didn’t.

“Kaav, we need a couple of bottles of wine,” he said.  (No “Kevin” for him.  I was Kaav, and I was honored.)

“Ow”, I replied, pained. “That’s the one thing I can’t do for you. This city goes dry at 2am. Everything shut down over an hour ago.”

He slapped another hundred-dollar bill into my hand and said, “I got faith in ya, Kaav.”

I walked straight down to the lobby bar, past the security cameras, grabbed two bottles of wine from the cooler and was back at his door in less than 10 minutes.

“No law against welcoming an important guest, though,” I said, as he howled with laughter.  And greased me one more time, what a mensch.  Now that’s the way to show appreciation.

Yes, of course I alerted the front desk about the wine! Shame on you for thinking I went around the blue laws.  Either that or I paid the security dweeb a $20 hush fee… who can remember small details after all these years?

Point is, you’re no bellman, you don’t have to break the law for cash…

…  and, in fact, you don’t even have to break a sweat.

Just follow these 3 simple steps, bust out of your comfort zone more often, find out what your best prospects really want… and challenge yourself to deliver big for them.

To easy livin’…

Kaav

P.S. I’ll be at the Action Seminar all weekend, in a guest-star role along with John and that Murder’s Row of experts he lined up…

… and I hear there may still be room for you, too, if you jump on it.  Go here for details.

Be sure to tip your waitress.

And hey, leave a comment if you’ve got something to say, too…

Thursday, 4:51pm
Reno, NV
“I’ll have what she’s having…” (When Harry Met Sally)

Howdy…

I figured I’d end the year in a ball of fire, and just lay it out for you here.

If you tried, really really hard, and weren’t successful last year…

… it was probably mostly your own damn fault.

Yeah, sure, the economy sucked, politicians were mean, your prospects are all screamin’ idiots, and God had it out for you.  All totally excellent excuses for having a crummy bottom line again.

It’s not your fault.  It can’t be your fault.  That… that’s just…

… that’s just completely unacceptable that it might be your fault.

And, hey, maybe you did piss off the universe, and spooky forces beyond your control mucked things up so you had a bad year.

I believe you.  I really do.

However…

After you’ve been around the block a few times in life, you start to notice some very interesting things about success.

And the big realization, I’d have to say, is that the idea that success is somehow magically bestowed on people in a spontaneous burst of luck and being in the right place/right time…

… is just bullshit.

It is.  It’s total bullshit.  Hollywood likes to pretend it’s a real plot point.  And folks clueless about how the world works — who spend their lives outside looking in — use this myth as a comforting excuse for their own lack of goal attainment.

Once you’ve spent even a little time with successful dudes and dudettes, you notice something startling: They all have well-defined goals, and they focus on nailing them like terriers going after a squirrel.

They are not stopped by lack of skill, or lack of time, or lack of connections in the right places.

They are not stopped by ADHD (which a LOT of the entrepreneurs I know are saddled with, btw), or feelings of inferiority (many of the best are entirely motivated by “I’ll show you” revenge fuel), or lack of education (drop-outs galore).

And they are not stopped by the main reason most wannabe entrepreneurs never get past that “deer in the headlights” pose: Not knowing what to do next.

Every single excuse ever floated by anyone in the history of mankind…

… has been met and conquered by people with less brainpower, less money, less skill and less luck than you.

This can really piss a guy off.  Especially if you’re deeply invested in believing that anything other than growing the fuck up and getting serious about attaining your dreams is what creates success in this world.

Let me remind you:  You have one ticket in this life.  You’re already on the ride — it doesn’t “start” at some future point, when you’re finally ready or finally have your shit together.

The game is on NOW. Nobody knows how long your ride will last.  There might be a little meteor headed for your ass this very second, BANG, ticket cancelled.

More likely, you’re going to continue (for a while) living in the rarest of times, considering our history.  Unlike nearly ALL of your ancestors — who ground out a living with back-breaking work, under the yoke of oppressive authority, without even a vague sliver of a dream that things could be better.

You OWE it your under-nourished, vulnerable-to-germs, knowledge-hobbled, bug-infested ancestors to take FULL ADVANTAGE of the mind-bending opportunities swirling around you every second.

I mean, really.

How dare you whine about how tough it is to succeed.

Those poor schlubs in your past fought, slaved and died for centuries inching toward a reality where a person might have a little freedom to choose how they lived their life.

And yet…

… we DO complain, don’t we.

Everyone loses perspective over the course of a lifetime.  It’s not like the culture helps us out.  The distractions built into modern life read like a solid science fiction story.  George Orwell is rolling over in his grave.

Nevertheless, just because there ARE distractions and obstacles that trip up nearly everyone trying to get something going…

… doesn’t mean that YOU have to succumb to them.

The biographies of the most successful people you know about ALL have chapters — sometimes multiple chapters — where things looked bleak, and the story could easily have played out as one of a total loser.

At some point, a switch just clicks on for most of them.  One second, life seems dull and you feel trapped.

The next second… BANG, the most critical decision of a lifetime is made.  And the adventure begins in earnest.

You know what that decision is?

It can be as simple as deciding to get started.  To take the first step.

Success junkies talk about passion a lot.  But most people confuse passion with “desire”, which ain’t the same thing at all.

Desire is helpless.  A long sigh, a breathless wish.

Passion is all about movement.  You’re breathless only because you’re engaged in hot and heavy action.

So, okay… you wanna hear my Top Ten list for turning your life around, starting right now?

You may not like this. I’m warning you.

Here we go…

Step 1: Stop wasting time.

You don’t “need” multiple hours every night to relax… and racking up time staring at the Boob Tube isn’t helping your brain, your digestion, your nerves or your future.

Knock off just ONE TV show you’re currently watching every week… and you’ve just found a hot little hour to devote to your new life.

Tear the plasma monster off the wall and donate it to charity, and you’ve recovered a second lifetime of hours.

Look, don’t go cold turkey if you can’t handle it.  But stop pretending you aren’t wasting massive piles of time doing things that… if you were to suddenly come face-to-face with one of your exhausted, oppressed ancestors…

… he wouldn’t haul off and slug you as hard as he could, for squandering a life crammed with possibilities that he never dreamed of.

Seriously… “Dancing With The Stars?”  Are you fucking kidding me?

Step 2:  Take a deep breath, and allow the dreaded “D” word to enter your world.

That stands for “discipline”… something few Westerners have even a nodding acquaintance with.

It’s simple to put to work, too.  Every day, do something you really, really, really don’t want to do (that needs to be done eventually).  It can be doing the dishes, or exercising, or getting up early (by going to bed at a decent hour)…

… or it can be diving into that biz book on your shelf, or that DVD course you bought last year that you never tore the shrink-wrap off.

Living even a mildly disciplined life will change your future immediately.  You often know what needs to be done… but you use all that potent gray matter in your skull to find ways to AVOID those things.

Just stop it.  Become an effective person.  Start DOING shit that needs doing.  Right now, you have a backlog of chores and items on your “to do list”.  It’s a happy day when your new chore is to find a new project to dive into, because you’ve mopped up everything else.

Step 3:  Be a good animal.

Eat better (and less often), treat sleep as a sacred necessity for advanced living, get your butt into the gym or onto the tennis court (or just on a trail), allow for quality “ponder” time (or uninterrupted meditation), and plan (and enjoy) life with gusto.

My motto has always been “moderation in all vices”.  Steady as she goes, but let’s kick it up a notch every now and then, test the adrenaline pump.

But the Prime Directive remains: Never pretend you’re something other than a complex biological machine, requiring good fuel, attention to wear-and-tear, constant routine maintenance, and ample opportunity for gleefully maxing out the emotional, spiritual, intellectual and kinesthetic possibilities.

You could do worse than follow your dog’s lead in most of this.  (Except for eating garbage, of course.)

Step 4: Face your fears.

If you’re not keeping a private journal where you can air out everything on your mind without reservation (even if you have to write in code a lot), then start one now.

The first pages can be a list of what you’re afraid of.  Just get it out of your head and onto a page… so you can stop obsessing for a while.  (Obsessive thinking often comes from your brain’s whack notion that if you don’t obsess, you’ll forget.  I’ve found that your brain actually knows that writing it all down means it can relax with the memorization nonsense.  It’s like burying your bone in a familiar place — you can stop carrying it around for a while, and concentrate on something else.)

The biggie: If you’ve got something bugging you that ain’t going away with simple pop psychology tricks (like journals), then get some pro help.  Psychology is a field that has never lost its inferiority complex among other sciences, and so it keeps dabbling in pharmaceutical bullshit and elaborate protocols for treatment.

Now, you may need high-end treatment.  There’s zero shame in that — sometimes, our wiring just goes berzerk, and modern chemistry may help.  I’m not a doctor.  If you have serious problems, get serious help.

However, if what’s troubling you is more along the line of emotionally-hobbling guilt, or feelings of inferiority or inadequacy, or the all-too-common problem of feeling like you’re a freak trying to hide your freaky nature among the throngs of normal people out there…

… you’re ripe for something as simple as “talk therapy”.  I’ve slugged my way through every dark alley of pop psychology there is, from Gestalt encounter groups to dream analysis to primal screaming and other stuff you don’t need to know about.  (I have a mostly-worthless degree in psych, you should know, from a California university.  A California university, mind you.  Every shocking notion you have of what that might mean is true, I’m proud to say.)

And often, what ails us is primarily the incorrect notion that we’re “naughty” and abnormal… when the truth is that everyone out there harbors a squirming nest of personal demons and private failures.

Life isn’t something you “figure out” and then coast through.  The lessons and challenges come fast and furious, and never let up.  It’s sensible to be wary of danger.  It’s crippling, though, to be afraid of your own shadow.

If you need help, get it.

The people having the most fun (and scoring the big results) in life aren’t normal.  They’ve just come to terms with their individuality, and figured out how to rock on with the hand they’ve been dealt.

You can do it, too.

Step 5: Stop lying.

To others.  And to yourself.

This doesn’t mean you suddenly become that azzhole who constantly delivers “the truth” to everyone around them.  The “truth” is hard to ascertain in many situations, and living well includes being diplomatic and sensitive to other people’s feelings.

Lying often has nothing to do with the truth.  It’s just a weak but persistent form of protection for your ego.

The key to being honest to yourself and others is to realize that you aren’t required to respond to every question put to you.  It’s perfectly all right to say “no comment”, or “um, yeah, I’m not gonna share that”.  (The “Magic Word” that all professionals and successful business owners need to have in their arsenal is “No”.  Said politely, with a smile, but firmly and without explanation.  ”I understand that you want me to answer that question.  No.  What’s the next topic…”, repeated as often as necessary, is NOT being rude.  People learn, growing up, that persistence will wear others down and get them to do what you want.  Which is fine, for the rest of the world.  As a pro, however, you have the right to opt out of that game.  Without explanation.)

Lying is a hard damn job.  You have to remember all kinds of stuff that isn’t true, so you don’t cross up your stories.

Being honest means you are freed from the restraints of a complex relationship to what’s going on.  To others, you may stop blabbering so much, and instead be a little circumspect with your answers (which is always a good thing).

You may even start listening more, which can also change your life.

Being honest with yourself is the big payoff, though.  Our default position is to spin things so our little ego isn’t damaged.  But you can “spin” honestly, too — there are always multiple realities to any situation, and you can look at shocks like failure in ways that put it in perspective, while being honest.  (Most successful people have failed a LOT in their career.  They just didn’t take failure as the last word on the subject… but rather looked at it honestly, to learn the lessons and come back with better chops for the second round.  THAT’S how you win.)

Step 6: Do constant reality checks.

I often say that good salesmen lead better lives… because to make sales, you must see the world and everyone in it as it IS…

… not as you wish it was, or believe it should be.

People will tell you they’ll act in a certain way in a certain situation, and then do the exact opposite.  They’re not “bad”, they’re just doing what people always do — ignore reality.

Top marketers constantly observe people’s actions (not their words).  Gary Halbert, when he wanted to get a reaction on a new ad he’d just written, had a favorite bar he would go into and read the ad aloud.  If everyone said “that’s a great ad, that should be a winner” then he knew he had written a bomb that would fail.

The ONLY reaction he wanted to hear was “Holy crap!  How can I get one of those for myself?”

This same kind of reality check needs to happen inside your head and heart, constantly.  What’s really going on with you, right now?  What do you want, what do you NOT want, what are you willing or not willing to do to make the good stuff happen?

Step 7: Reach out to loved ones.

People miss you.  You’re horrible at staying in touch, and old timers will vouch for the fact that years can zoom by and destroy even strong relationships if you ignore the maintenance they deserve.

You don’t have to stay in touch with anyone, of course.  Relationships that are burdensome can sap energy from you, and they need to be shelved if you’re gonna move forward in life.

Still… somebody’s waiting for a call from you, right now.

Make it.

Step 8: Reach out to colleagues.

People love to talk about what they love doing…

… and entrepreneurs are starved for networking with other entrepreneurs.  Both to find out what’s working or not working out there for others, and to share what they’ve learned.

It can be shocking, at first, to realize just how much support you can get even from competitors sometimes.  Business can be like a hockey game — brutal, but with total respect for the other team.

Every single successful marketer I know has a deep network of buddies and colleagues they call frequently, and share information that outsiders would pay a fortune for (like testing results, and experienced advice).

This is why most of the success junkies hit up events and seminars.  You can’t really get to know someone from phone chats, or reading their blogs.

The real connection comes from face-to-face meetings, hanging out and breaking bread (while sharing gossip).

Step 9: Reach out to experts.

Mentoring changed my life.  I’ve had multiple mentors along the way, and some didn’t even realize they WERE mentors.  (I just observed them very carefully, and deconstructed what they did and how they did it.  Some of the writers I learned the most from were dead when I came along, so I had to use critical thinking instead of actually working with them.)

But I also learned to quickly recognize others who had lessons for me (again, whether they realized it or not).  Some thought of themselves as experts, others were just damn good at their job.

All had fountains of knowledge and skills worth exploring and figuring out.

Side note: It’s not a coincidence that many of the best marketers alive are also quite good at a musical instrument.

You know why?

It’s the PROCESS of learning.  It’s hard to get even the basics down for an instrument… and you must dedicate yourself (and use the “D” word) to get to a point of competence.

Most people, given the choice, will not go through the physical pain (your fingers will bleed when learning guitar) and mental anguish (because you will fail over and over again on each step — no one gets it right the first hundred times) of learning something as sophisticated as a musical instrument.

Most guitarists I know didn’t really have a choice.  The desire to master the beast came from within, and we were driven to do it.

Still, I’ve met others who did it to please parents, or just because their reference group of friends all did it.  And they got the same benefit as the driven ones:  The realization of what it takes to learn something new.

It’s a process.  And you CAN learn it, and you CAN do it.  It just takes a little guidance.

There are a lot of great experts out there who teach.

There are also a lot of bogus assholes who fake it, and if they teach you anything at all, it will be to never trust someone without vetting them first ever again.

The key is to first find ONE expert you feel you can trust. Make them earn your trust.  Triple-check their credibility and credentials.

Through this first relationship, you will be introduced to other teachers and guru’s they recommend.  It’s still up to you to be an adult, and be critical of anyone you get advice from until they’ve also earned your trust.

But the first move is always yours.

When you’re ready, reach out.  Get involved, take advantage of all interactive opportunities, and don’t be shy about sucking up all the free stuff that experts willingly ladle out.

Much of the rookie entrepreneurial world is populated with cynical fuck-ups who would rather tear an expert down, than learn anything.  It’s like TMZ for business — there will never a lack of rubber-necking, sneering wannabe’s trashing everyone who has dared to be successful.

You can hang with these types, if you like.  You’ll be entertained.

But you won’t get anywhere in life.

Cynicism is for bench warmers.

You wanna play, put your ego and your sneer away.  Find the experts with the experience and the willingness to teach that fits what you need…

… and get involved.

Step 10: Master the art of setting good goals…

… and putting together a doable plan to achieving them.

This is not something you can do intuitively.  Nearly everyone thinks they understand what a real goal is.  And they also feel they should be able to achieve a goal just with positive thinking (and maybe a few inspirational catch phrases).

And they are wrong.

Goal setting isn’t rocket science… but it is more like learning a new instrument than it is like buying a new car.  Change doesn’t come easy — there are all kinds of obstacles in your head, your heart, in the universe and in the cards that need to be met and conquered along the way.

There is a process.

Most people don’t even know what they really want.  They just know they lack happiness or fulfillment or something…

… and early goal setting under these conditions will be wildly ineffective.

Fortunately, with just a little bit of coaching, you can become a goal-achieving monster.

And that is the key to moving from where you are in life, to where you want to be.

Now, it’s late, and I’ve given you too much good stuff already in this post.

If you’re ready for more of the real shortcuts and inside advice to making this coming year your best ever…

… whether you measure “best ever” in terms of cash, or happiness, or achievements, or all of it put together…

… then I recommend you at least check out the Action Seminar we’re hosting at the end of February.

Get the details on the Action Seminar by clicking here.

Yes, it’s a live event, so you’ll need to travel and get your act together enough to attend.  We’ve made that part as easy as possible, by having the seminar in San Diego (with one of the easiest airports in the country to get in and out of)… where it’s also going to be nice, with ocean breezes and suntanned happy folks everywhere (even while your home town gets slammed with another blizzard or locust invasion or whatever other horrors winter usually brings).

Plus, we’ve arranged for discounts at the hotel.  Good times.

But best of all, you’ll get to hang out with a small army of experts we’ve hand-picked… along with a roomful of other entrepreneurs and veteran biz owners and rookies and budding professionals who are PERFECT for networking and forming new joint ventures and sharing info.

Skip it if you’re scared, or distracted, or “out in the weeds” with your life.  Your choice.

But make your decision at least with all the facts:

Get the details on the Action Seminar by clicking here.

I doubt we’ll host this event again.  It’s tough work putting it together, and corralling all these hot experts for a whole weekend.  And it’s going to be exhausting (though exhilarating, too) for us…

… because we do so much interactive teaching.  This is an event focused entirely on attendees, and the needs you bring with you when you arrive.

It’s all about making 2011 your best year ever… however you want to define “best”.  For most, it’s profit and income.  We excel at teaching that.  But happiness is also important, and we have the goods on that, too.

First step, if you’re at all interested, is to get the details.

Get the details on the Action Seminar by clicking here.

Don’t screw around and miss this event because you got distracted.  Veterans and rookies alike are welcome, and will get breakthrough insight and real plans you can implement without taking huge risks, or finding new sources of investment cash, or changing your biz radically at all.

This is DOABLE stuff.  It’s the key to making things happen fast… so you have the rest of the year to maximize results, and enjoy life.

From where I sit, this should be a no-brainer decision.  But you gotta make up your own mind.

Check it out.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. What are YOUR top ten secrets for success?  Do they jive with mine, or do you have insight on something I may have skipped over?

The comment section is now wide open, and ready for threads.

This is THE most important period of the coming year.  Getting your year off to the best possible start means months of doing it RIGHT, as opposed to months of wasted effort (that can murder your profits).

It’s your movie.  You’re writing most of the script, and here’s an opportunity to see how the best in the game write boffo blockbusters for themselves, year after year.

Will I see you in San Diego?

Friday, 3:33 pm
Reno, NV
“When the world is a monster, ’bout to swallow you whole…” (R.E.M., Can’t Get There From Here)

Howdy…

Quick post today (I promise).

It’s about a HUGE freakin’ disaster lurking behind many entrepreneurs right now…

… like a snarly ugly googly-eyed monster sneaking up on your ass with fangs bared and claws clutching.

Some of you, right now, can feel its hot fetid breath on your neck.

Boo!

You know what this beast is?

It’s the Great Unknown Future that most marketers are facing right now, as 2011 comes galloping around the corner.  And there are no fangs sharper, and no evil hunger more devouring than a recession-addled economy (licking its chops as it creeps up on you).

Now, here’s a free piece of advice from a grizzled veteran of 30 years in the biz world:  I’ve successfully navigated at least 3 huge (and at least 3 other less-huge but still extremely painful) recessions since I began my career as a marketing expert.

I’ve done it alone…

… and I’ve done with the help, mentoring, and insight of folks who had been down that road before.

And I gotta tell you:  It SUCKS to do it alone.

And having a little solid, experienced help watching your back can almost immediately transform your progress.

In my consulting practice, I see a lot of lonely cowboys wandering the marketing range, trying to figure everything out on the fly. They have no one to shuck and jive with… no one to bounce ideas off of (so they never get honest feedback)…

… and no one to shine a light as they stumble in darkness, or warn them of dangers down the latest gimmick-rabbit-hole, or help them find, test drive, and evaluate the vast pile of resources out there (some of which are okay, some of which are evil-nasty-bad-for-you, and some of which are drooling cousins of that monster still sneaking up behind you).

No one to trust.

And gosh, that can suck worst of all.

I know that entrepreneurs and small-biz owners frequently list “being overwhelmed” as their biggest obstacle to success.  (Finding simple ways to be more productive is Number 2 on that list.)

But from where I sit…

… and remember, through this blog, my little social media empire (I use the term loosely, of course), and my decades-long experience consulting with and helping clients…

… the most fundamental problem out there is feeling isolated.  Lonely.

With no one to trust.

In fact, that’s just about the ONLY question I need to hear from anyone seeking help… to realize they’re in big trouble.

There’s plenty of advice out there.  Oodles of direction, ladled out by self-appointed guru’s and experts grinning from ear-to-ear, beckoning you hither.  A virtual CandyLand of resources, where sure-thing opportunities, slick deals and wondrous avaricious dreams abound…

… if you will only let down your guard and trust them.

To which I say:  STOP!

Take a deep breath.

And apply a little critical thinking here.

Do you really believe that a fad… or a gimmick… or a single “hot new secret” is gonna transform your life?

Hey, it’s fine if you do.  It’s a free world, thank God.  Go for it.

However…

… when you’re finally ready to grow the fuck up and quit fighting the reality of the business world…

… you’ve got to make some fundamental decisions.

Fundamental Decision #1: Do you want to build a REAL business, and install a solid foundation for generating ethical wealth and happiness that you create, yourself?

Or, are you just gonna hope for a magical solution to your problems?

If you’re into magic, you may want to split now.  I’m just gonna harsh your mellow here.

Fundamental Decision #2: If you ARE ready to build a real business…

… are you also finally prepared to put your ego aside, and admit you need a little honest help finding the right path to success?

Yeah, I know… your ego is already squirming and fussing, trying to get you to click off this page and go check out some porn or a free game site or something.  Gotta distract you, in case you actually TAKE a freakin’ step to change your life.

Just put the little bastard in a strangle-hold for a few minutes.  Shut him up.

And listen:

ALL of the successful entrepreneurs and biz owners I know…

… have built up teeming networks of like-minded colleagues, friends, partners, and associates.

Even more precisely: They surround themselves with winners, and hungrily share in the resources of this “inner circle” of success-junkies.

Because trying to make a business work all on your lonesome doesn’t just suck…

… it also will murder your ability to find your own best (and fastest) path to wealth and happiness.

Your drinking buddies don’t count, either.  Your family… nope.  Even your pal with all the grand schemes and plans… unless he’s actually DOING anything to bring in the big bucks, he’s an anchor around your neck.

What you want…

… is live, face-to-face access to people who share your quest for a thriving business, and for the rewards of committing to the demands of creating your own damn path in the world.  As a successful, passionate and kick-ass dude (or dudette).

And you particularly want to rub elbows with folks who ARE successful. Who have come from where you are now… conquered similar demons and obstacles… and secured their own seat at The Feast Of Life (the only place to be if you’re serious about enjoying this ride).

I know you’ve heard this story before.  Every single successful person I know has a similar version of it:  Things didn’t start popping… until they reached out for help, and followed through on the advice they received.

No exemptions.  You see a successful person… you can bet they didn’t arrive alone at the Gates Of Good Times.

It’s not a “detail” of your journey.

It’s the foundation of everything else you do in life.

And I want to help you kick your dreams in the butt… so you can finally crash through the obstacles and sticking points, and get MOVING.

We’re hosting a live event in late February, down in gorgeous San Diego.  We’ve only done this one other time, around a year ago…

… and the results of letting people into a room we front-loaded with our favorite go-to-experts and success-wizards…

… will simply take your breath away.

The best part: We’re doing it one more time…

… and you’re invited.  If, that is, you can keep your ego (and your natural default laziness) at bay long enough to get involved.

This event is called The Action Seminar.  Go here for the complete scoop:

Action Seminar Details

You have a number of decisions to make as the new year rolls into town.

Just imagine not having to face them all alone.

And, instead, actually strutting into 2011 armed-to-the-teeth with plans you can implement immediately to start achieving everything you’re after in life and biz.

We’re all about planning and implementation.  Not piling more theory and more bullshit advice on you (which will only make you feel more lonely and overwhelmed).

No way.

What I love about this event is the emphasis on ACTION.  It’s not a “talk AT you” kind of event (which I hate just as much as you do).

Rather, it’s a “work with you” seminar loaded with everything (EVERYTHING!) we know about getting your act together…

… as fast and efficiently as possible.  So you can go from wherever you are now… to wherever you DESIRE to be…

… in a well-planned, step-by-step process.

Just like the already-successful folks you’ll meet there do it.

These are people you can trust.  They’ve PROVEN it, over and over again… by helping others, by sharing the good stuff generously, by knowing — really knowing — how important trust and experienced advice is for entrepreneurs itching to move forward.

Look… make up your own mind here, of course.

But get all the info first.  And don’t kid yourself, if you’re even wishing a tiny bit that “somehow” you’ll survive the next year without chucking your desire for magic, or without getting down to business doing what works.

The key to success, usually, doesn’t involve changing too rapidly at first.  You don’t need more staff, or a bigger office, or infusions of cash from investors.

Naw.

The essential thing you need… is a plan.  And a little honest input from some folks who’ve been successful already, and are willing to share the process with you.

Just see what the fuss is about, okay?

Both time and space are limited, so I’m urging you to hurry.

Pay particular attention to what others reveal about the last one of these we held.  (You may see echoes of exactly what you’re going through now.)

The breakthrough that will change your life forever may be nearer than you think.

Stay frosty,

John

Saturday, 3:17pm
Mendocino, CA
“Under my thumb is a squirming dog who just had her day…” (Stones)

Friend…

Do you suffer from the heartbreak of envy?

Are you jealous of friends and colleagues who attain success, while you continue to struggle?

Would you like to learn a simple cure for feeling inferior to others?

Well, then step right up…

Here’s the story: I grew up with the definite impression that ambition was a moral failing.  The operative phrase was “Don’t get too big for your britches”…

… which was a cold warning to anyone who dared attempt to rise above their (vaguely defined) place in life.

And one of the greatest joys was to gleefully watch the collapse and humbling of the High & Mighty.  I believe there’s some evolutionary fragment left in our systems that wants a solid check on keeping folks from leaving the pack.

Now, if you risk failing and succeed, that’s great.  We were there for ya the entire time, Bucko.  Rooted for ya.  Got yer back.

I think our innate need for leadership allows for a select few to “make it” without hostility.  And, as long as they provide whatever it is we need from them — protection, entertainment, intellectual stimulation, decisive action, look good in a tight sweater, whatever — they get a pass.

But we seem to have a ceiling of tolerance for others moving up the hierarchy too fast.  Whoa, there, buddy.  Where do you think you’re going?

And when the unworthy grab the brass ring, it can trigger a hormone dump that’ll keep you up all night.  Because, why did HE make it, when he’s clearly not the right dude to win.  This is totally fucking unfair, and makes ME look bad now.

The lucky creep.

I hope he screws up and gets what’s coming to him…

And so on.

I’ve felt it, you’ve felt it, the nicest person you’ve ever met has felt it.  Humans are constantly comparing themselves to others, and we do not like it when Mr. Envy comes a’knockin’.

Dan Sullivan (of Strategic Coach) has a good take on this: He suggests you stop comparing yourself to others… and instead, compare yourself to yourself.  Get happy with the progress you’ve made from wherever you were before.  Don’t allow your brain to start measuring how short you came up against your lofty dreams, or other’s success. (Which is what most folks do.)

I like that tactic.

However, I have another one I’ve been employing ever since I began my solo career, so many decades ago.

It works, and I think you’ll like having it in your tool kit.

Back then, as a raw rookie, I was dangerously inept.  And woefully inexperienced and unprepared for the tasks ahead of me.  Had I allowed my Inner Scaredy-Cat to win the argument, I never would have left the house to go snag my first gig.

Worse, as I moved into inner circles (at joints like Jay Abraham’s offices), I began to encounter other writers my age and younger… who were light-years ahead of me in every category.  Fame, skill, wealth… and especially that precious sense of feeling like you earned your place in the world and belonged there.

Mr. Envy showed up frequently, and occasionally I would find myself secretly wishing for these guys to fail.  I mean, why them and not me yet?  The bastards were too big for their britches…

But that wasn’t gonna work. If I wanted to earn my OWN place in the world, I realized I needed to knee-cap Mr. Envy, and lock that demon away somewhere forever.

Because the better way to look at things… was to congratulate these guys on their success, learn from their adventures getting there, and encourage even more success for them.

There was, I knew (once Mr. Envy was muzzled), plenty of room for everybody in the writing game… and the other guy’s success didn’t impact my own even a little bit.

In fact, once I selflessly began networking with them, they helped me out.  It was win-win, all the way.

Still, though… that nagging sense of “Gee, I wish I was him” kept lurching back into my head. I wanted to be an MTV rock star, a drooled-over novelist, an infamous international lover, a frequent guest on Larry King (this was a long time ago, folks), David Letterman’s best friend, a gazillionaire with no worries about rent or…

And that’s when I stumbled on this extremely cool CURE for envy.

I’m sure I nicked it from some other source, somewhere… but I haven’t been able to find it explained anywhere else.  Maybe I really did invent it.

At any rate… it works.

Wanna know what it is?

Okay.  Here is my…

Super-Potent Envy Cure: When you find yourself wishing you were someone else… or at least in their shoes, enjoying all the great stuff they seem to be enjoying…

… just imagine being inside their skin — really inside them, being them — for 5 minutes.  Dealing with everything that makes them who they are.

And then see if their life still looks so good.

Most envy comes from a lack of something, perceived or real.  When you’re broke, the dude with two hundred bucks in his checking account looks like a winner.  When you’re desperately horny, the guy getting laid all the time looks like the hero of a 007 novel.  When you’re being ignored in your market, the mogul with the big business machine looks like a cushy gig.

This is where your street-level salesmanship comes in.  (Which is what I’ve been trying to share with y’all over the past 6 years here in the blog.)

Great salesmen lead better lives.  Not because they sell lots of stuff… but because they live in the real world.  You can’t be efficient selling when you’re hobbled with a belief that the world (and everyone in it) “should” behave a certain way… or you wish they would.

Naw.  You gotta be hip to how people actually operate.  So you take off the blinders, and peek behind the masks, and get to know your fellow high-end primates REALLY well, from deep inside their hearts and minds.

This raising of the curtain — shocking at first — will actually make you love people more… while also helping you understand why they do what they do.  You’ll understand why good people do bad things, why bad people do good things, and why the inner life of everyone around you is unique.

And while you love your fellow beasts…

… once you feel comfy with yourself (because you’re finally going after your goals and engaging in your own rollicking adventure in life)…

… you won’t want to spend even a full minute inside the skin of anyone else.

Because it is CREEPY AS HELL in there.

I love to read autobiographies and biographies.  (Or skim them, when they’re horribly written.)

It has changed my outlook — and my petty jealousies — to learn the real story of the people I once idolized, and often wished I was living their life.

Wow, does it ever change your outlook.  Especially when you discover the wicked little secrets that fueled their motivation to attain whatever it is — fame, acclaim, wealth, accomplishments — that triggered your envy button.

The novelists loathed themselves.  The movie stars craved adulation like junk.  The great lovers were joyless asshole sociopaths.  The wealthy barons were infested with sick needs.

Big men still pitied themselves over Mommie’s inattention.  Forceful leaders were quivering lakes of insecurity.  Debonair social stalwarts harbored unquenchable dark desires.

Yes, there are folks out there who succeed without secret vices and immature cravings.

They’re also boring as hell.  And you’d be screaming for release after ten seconds inside their skin.  (Many have just been unusually successful at quashing their sweaty-palmed desires.  In fact, the boring ones are often sitting on the nastiest payloads of demons.  See: Every Bible-thumping politician recently caught with hookers and drugs.)

You want wit, a lust of adventure, forceful opinions and a knack for winning in your heroes?

I do, too.  But I’ve learned to like them despite the roiling mess of complexity coursing through their veins.

In fact, I embrace it.  I like my heroes flawed — it brings out the luster of their accomplishments.

It also highlights the elusive (and quickly disappearing) moments of satisfaction they seek.

You’re alive.  You are here on this earth with a ticket to ride that expires (sometimes sooner rather than later).  You may wish you had a better set-up… finer bone structure, a thicker mop of hair, more muscles, more impressive genitals, bluer eyes, a rich uncle with you in the will, whatever hang-up is spoiling your enjoyment of life…

… but the simplest way to attain lasting happiness is to let your dumb-ass desires drift away, and get jiggy with who you are now, and what you’ve got to work with.

It’s kind of Zen, and it takes effort to get there.  But it’s worth it.

You can’t be happy all the time, but you can actually enjoy the down times, too, once you change your basic orientation from “I wish” to “Here I am”.  Some of the most satisfied people I know are butt-ugly trolls who have learned that natural beauty is fraught with negative side effects (and not worth pursuing)…

… and that, at the end of the day, what really counts is what you bring to the table in terms of being a quality human being.

I’ve known a MOB of successful people in my career (including many of the most famous and infamous “bigger than life” legends in business).  I’ve been friends with them, been let in behind the scenes, and hung out long enough to see behind the mask.

And I wouldn’t want to spend 5 minutes inside any of their skins, ever.  I like who I am, with all my faults and all my regrets and all my inherent stupidity.  I fit well inside my own skin.

And — though it took a VERY long time — I earned my place in the world.  Really earned it.  Nothing happened from wishing, or cheating, or relying on luck.

Naw.  I blundered my way into the Feast of Life.  Utterly fucked things up along the ride… but kept learning from mistakes, kept cleaning up my messes and fixing what I broke when I could, kept trying and growing and staying true to the goals that resonated with me.  That’s all I had going for my sorry ass.

We’re all pathetically flawed.  All of us, from James Bond on down through your neighbor who just bought the new Jag (and won’t stop gloating about the deal he got).

Nobody gets out of here unscathed.  You can’t live without making mistakes and stepping on toes.

And yes, sometimes you will get too big for your britches, when you’re going for the gusto.  When it happens, buy new ones.

Stay frosty (and true to yourself),

John

P.S. My recent reads include the autobiographies of Keith Richards and Christopher Hitchens.  Keith’s may be the best-written of all-time — he’s a brilliant storyteller, used a writer who knew him for decades to help collect his thoughts coherently… and he is tough on himself.  Hitch bares all, but can be a bit long-winded.

The key to biographies is NOT to settle old scores, or try to spin your existence so your legacy looks better.  Screw that nonsense.

The key is to spill the beans, relentlessly.  Lift up your mask, raise the curtain on your demons, cop to your trespasses.  And share the juicy details. The story is not the broad overview, but the detail.  You lived it, dude.  I wasn’t there.

What happened?

P.P.S. What biographies or autobiographies have you liked?

And let us know, in the comment section here, how you’ve handled envy (good or bad) in your life.  Along with the realization that your fellow passengers on this whirling planet are one scary-ass species…