Tuesday, 3:29pm
Reno, NV
“I can’t seem to face up to the facts, I’m tense and nervous and I can’t relax…” (Talking Heads, “Psycho Killer”)

Howdy…

What’s the matter, Bunky?

The news got you down?  The economy keeping you up at night?  Are sales in the toilet, creditors stalking you, clients not returning calls, the sheer angst of living in a modern tech-drenched world chewing holes in your gut?

Would you like to hear how grizzled veterans handle the evils of stress?

It’s good stuff… because, as everyone should realize, you don’t get to BE a grizzled veteran if you can’t handle stress.  Cuz that shit will eat your ass alive and send you to an early grave.

In fact, this is easily one of the fundamental tools for surviving the Bidness Never-Ending Cage Fight.  I noticed, in the first years of my freelance career (when I was searching semi-desperately for clues on how to become successful), that there were biz owners who were having fun… and there were other owners not having any fun at all.

Age had nothing to do with it.  Nor health (though the fun-havers consistently were in better shape).  Nor gender, nor — and this is important — how successful they were.

The difference was simply how they handled stress.

Not what they KNEW about stress.  Jeez Louise, some of the worst ones could quote verse-and-chapter on the latest Ivy Tower studies, and would rattle off their blood pressure, pulse and Vitamin D levels at the slightest provocation.

No.  What mattered was how they dealt with it.

Because if you’re alive… dude, you’re gonna encounter stress.  Rich, po’, self-employed, unemployed, smart, dumb, pretty, pretty ugly, alert or half-asleep…

… humans have been guaranteed an unrelenting marriage with stress ever since we left the real jungle for the asphalt one.

So, basically, forget about avoiding it.

What you want to do… is learn how to kill it.  Over and over and over again, as often as necessary, whenever you need to do it.

You can develop your own way of doing this.  And good luck to ya.  Stress is a Class Triple-X Monster that has ground down many a good man to a sobbing little nubbin’ before.  It changes you at the cellular level… where brain synapses snap, where your DNA percolates, where the microscopic Engines O’ Evil fire up and start generating the crap that will clog you up.

Most folks “deal” with stress by waiting for it to boil over into crisis-mode, so they can spend their savings and every moment of consciousness left trying to fix what’s broken.

There’s a plan for ya.

Much better plan: Just gather a couple of good tools for your Bag O’ Tricks, and use them.  And gird your loins, and get after your dreams knowing you’ve prepared the best way possible to engage with the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.

To get you started, here’s what I came up (which has worked fairly nicely for 30 years):

Stress-Murdering Tactic #1: Moderation in all vices.

I am not a guy to emulate, if you’re looking for clues to a perfect lifestyle.  Got my faults (yeah, yeah, I know it’s a long list), and did some dastardly things in my time…

… but you know what?

I yam who I yam, and I’ve come to terms with it.  I used to fight with myself over the little things, like “how to be the best person I can be.”  And that just caused problems.

Because I was defining the word “best” the way OTHER PEOPLE would define it.  I was comparing myself, constantly, against measurements erected and maintained by someone else.

Once I let go of that ridiculous pursuit, I kind of settled into a nice groove.  I’m not the healthiest guy you know, but I’m not a walking keg of butterfat, either.

What I realized is that I like my little line-up of vices.  And life would not be as happy or — gasp! – successful as it is, if I didn’t cut myself some slack.

The first rule for battling stress — if you can’t walk away from it (which is actually the best rule, when you can pull it off) — is to be healthy.  Because stress destroys everything good in your system, and uncorks massive floods of the bad stuff.  Your endorphins get smothered and gang-raped by adrenaline and stomach acid.

We all know the recipe for being “healthy”: Clean up your diet, get your ass outside and exercise, and stop partying so much already.

Still, how you do that has a little flexibility.

For example: I love me some hamburgers.  Yes, I do.  So once a month (sometimes — sometimes — twice) I treat myself to a burger-and-fry orgy at In-And-Out.

Not every day.  Not every week.

Every once in a while.

I’ve got friends who are fit and thin, subsisting on twigs and lawn clippings, who never, ever, ever, ever even think about eating a slice of pizza.

Okay, they’re happy (or smug) about being healthy.  But no pizza, ever?  That’s not enjoying a successful life in my book.

I also have aggressively-clean-living friends who are nice people… but everyone is always waiting for them to leave, so the party can get started.  They’ll live to a ripe old age… but remain boring-as-fuck until the end.  I’ll take a few less years, and stay with my plan of going for the gusto, thanks.

Make up your own mind about what “healthy” means to you… and then get after it.  A fit, clear-headed, well-rested dude will be able to withstand more stress than the guy with the perpetual hang-over, bulging gut and wheezing arteries.

Still, life is for living.  Passion, desire, and raw urges are part of the deal… as long as you maintain moderation according to your system.  (That means, some of you can’t indulge in some things, because you can’t moderate it.  So you don’t do those things, or drink that stuff, or subject yourself to situations where you lose all sense of moderation.)

Stress loves it when you go overboard, on anything.  Work, romance, sports, hobbies, day trading, video games, whatever.  We’re an obsessive species, for sure.

That still doesn’t mean you have to live like a monk.

To start getting the better of stress, examine your life choices… from what you eat, how you treat your body and what you spend your time at, to why you’re punishing yourself with immoderation and too much of a good thing.

Wanna know a secret?  I’ve hung out with athletes, trainers, health guru’s, doctors and other health-oriented experts for decades…

… and most of them do NOT live a strict life of no-fun.

In fact, they’re some of the randiest bastards I’ve ever dealt with.  Healthy body, sleazy mind.  Sometimes, somehow, they make it work.  The really successful ones have… wait for it… mastered the art of MODERATION.

So being healthy puts some mojo on your side in your battle with stress…

… but it doesn’t make you immune to it.

Stress is like your psycho ex, absolutely committed to stalking you for the rest of your days.

So get healthy, which gives you some breathing room.

But you still gotta find a way to HANDLE incoming stress when it slams into your system.

Which brings us to…

Stress-Murdering Tactic #2: Write up private “Status Reports”, constantly.

One of the ways stress gets you is to weasel into your brain and set up camp… so you’re thinking about bad stuff all day long, and waking up in the middle of the night (coated in slimy fear-sweat) to go over it all one more time, in detail.

Sometimes stress arrives like a car crash — sudden, violent, earth-shaking and dominating all your senses.  Like getting a call from a lawyer who gleefully announces you’re going to have to dance with him now, while he sucks up your net worth and lifeforce like a vampire.

Shudder.

Other times, the stress sneaks in under the guise of repeated, relentless tiny thumps against your heart and head.  It’s insidious, and you may not even notice that you’re a stressed-out nutcase until your hair starts falling out in clumps.

Or your doc notes that your blood pressure has spiked to “Dead Dude Walking” levels.

This is when you essentially hand over script-writing duties for your life to Mr Stress.  And his idea of a great plot line is the one where you’re sleep-deprived, leaking bile, and developing an alarming little twitch over your left eyebrow.

You wanna bust Mr. Stress in the chops?

Here’s my main tactic:  Write yourself a letter.

Take the phone off the hook, lock the door, and give yourself a solid hour to do this.

In this letter, you are writing to yourself 24 hours from now.  You are writing out a “Status Report” of your life at this moment.

Lay it all out.  All your troubles, all your faltering plans, all your suspicions about coworkers, all your fears about your health, happiness and future.

Be specific.  I like to use numbered items, so I don’t have to bother with segues between paragraphs or sentences.  Just lay out one thought, hit “return” on the keyboard and start on the next numbered item.

Don’t limit yourself, in any way.  You’re going to take pains that no one else sees this Status Report… so don’t hold back.

Stay focused on the fact that you’re writing to yourself, 24 hours hence.

What you’ll have, when you’ve exhausted all items on your mind, is a combination “To Do List”, and a candid assessment of your state of mind right now.

If you’re stressed, your plans for dealing with any of this stuff may actually be horrifically wrong.  But don’t get analytical about it while you’re writing.

What you’re doing is a very cheap psychological trick.

See, your brain is obsessing on what’s stressing you out…

… because it fears you’re going to forget about the details.

So it wakes you up, and eats at you all day long, just going round and round in a loop.

Writing it all down — all of it, the bad ideas and the brilliant realizations and the mundane shit that you can’t quite believe you care about — allows your brain to relax.

It’s all down in the Status Report, brain.  It’s safe.

Like a dog napping near his buried bone, you can relax.

By giving yourself a 24 hour “grace period”, you can REALLY relax… because you’re not giving up on what’s bugging you, you’re just putting it aside for a bit.

Now…

… go do something else.

Anything else.  Hell, go have some fun.  Leave Mr. Stress back with the Status Report, where he’ll be just fine for one day, and get jiggy with some vice (in moderation).

Here’s what will happen: Your unconscious will continue to mull over what you’ve written.

You’ve taken much of what was probably vague and non-specific, and made it “real” in your Status Report… so your unconscious now has much more to go on than before.  It will examine your thinking, deconstruct your plans, and poke at your soft spots.

Meanwhile, the conscious part of your brain is getting a much-needed respite from obsessing over your problems.  You may even be able to sleep like a baby, knowing your letter is safe somewhere, and your internal genius is cooking everything nicely.

And when you get BACK to your Status Report in 24 hours…

… you will suddenly have perspective you couldn’t muster before (because obsession blocks it)… you will be able to see your plans in fresh light, more realistically… and lots and lots of stuff that is kick-starting your stress engines will be visible.

Do you doubt this can work?

I can only tell you this “let the unconscious work it out” is a primary tactic for people who write professionally.  The great adman David Ogilvy slept on problems, after assigning his mind the task of arriving at a solution when he awoke.  I (and many other writers I know) stuff my head with info, and then go take a nap or a walk or engage in a hobby… knowing that when I return to my desk, I’ll have multiple headline ideas flood my consciousness as soon as I hit the keyboard.

The headline that bubbles up may or may not be the one that makes it to the final draft.

Nevertheless, the hard work of sorting through the vast amounts of info has been done, and clarity ensues.  And you will have a fresh view of things, which is impossible when you’re down in the trenches of stress.

Finally…

Stress-Murdering Tactic #3: Change things around.

Armed with your new clarity about what’s stressing you out, and why…

… you now have options you may have not believed were possible before.

My favorite consulting tactic for a long time has been the “Two Lists” technique.  You make two lists about any subject — your job, your new product, your love life, whatever — and on List One you write out all the things you want to happen, or want to engage in…

… and on List Two you write out all the things you do NOT want to happen, or have to engage in.

Then, as much as you can, arrange things so the items on List One happen, and the crap on List Two do not.

Get moving on changing things.  Mr. Stress HATES it when you’re proactive.

Simple, but profound.  You want to make a ton of money, fast?  But you don’t want to go to jail?  Then drop your plans of heisting gold from Fort Knox.

You want a steady income, but also a lot of free time?  Then don’t start a boutique biz in a mall.

You want a great, lasting relationship, minus the drama of strange-fruit romance?  Then stop dating hookers.

And so on.

Much of the stress in your life — and please trust me on this — is from your internal “Fight or Flight” instincts… which are the default options all humans have, which are also thwarted, teased, and stalled in perpetual high gear when you try to navigate modern life.

Sometimes, you just gotta man up and deal with it.  But in your ape-mind (the primitive part that has no clue whatsoever we aren’t still in the jungle lollygagging in ponds and gorging on bananas) every threat has a beginning, but no END.

It’s just full-bore “THREAT! RUN AWAY! NO, FIGHT! NO, SHIT YOURSELF AND HIDE! NO, BITE SOMETHING!”…

… even when it’s just a voice message from the IRS about some deduction you took a year ago.

Or even if it’s an earthquake that knocks all the books off your shelf.  Or news of a stroke in the family, or the stock market tanking, or a glimpse of your psycho ex hiding in the bushes across the street, or I dunno.

Choose your poison.

The thing is… sometimes you’re under stress because you don’t know what to do to resolve a problem that wasn’t your fault and you couldn’t have foreseen.  You’ve got to wait, and you feel out of control.  And that sucks.

Or… sometimes you’re just hitting yourself in the head with a hammer, and you’ve somehow convinced yourself you HAVE to keep doing it, because…

… well, there’s the rub.  And that “because” may not hold up so well once you examine it, let your unconscious get after it, and give it a fresh look.

Maybe your stress is coming from the fact you’re doing something you don’t really need to be doing.

Mr. Stress doesn’t care why he’s in your head. Legitimate reason, or bullshit reason, it’s all the same to him.  Rubbing his hands together, he’s just eager to open the valves on your adrenaline and cortisol and other poisonous reserves.  For him, it’s heaven to have the Stressed-Out Movie play all day and all night long, over and over and over again.

You’ll never get rid of the little bastard completely.  He’s a weed, a zombie that returns from the grave without notice.

But you CAN murder him when he arrives.

It’s justifiable homicide, too.  And life is soooo much nicer in a low-stress groove.

I’ll bet there are twig-eating, fun-deprived folks reading this in a lather right now, seething about being called “boring”… and outraged that anyone would defend pizza.

So, have at it in the comments already.

What’s your stress-busting tip?

Stay frosty,

John

Saturday, 2:33pm
Reno, NV
“When I look back on all the crap I learned in high school, it’s a wonder I can think at all…” (Paul Simon, “Kodachrome”)

Howdy.

Someone recently asked me to offer a clue on how to nurture critical thinking.

It’s a fair question.  And while I’m no neuro-scientist, I talk about critical thinking a lot, because it’s the foundation of great writing, killer salesmanship, and engaging the world with your throttle wide open.

However, it’s not an easy subject to grasp if you’ve seldom taken your brain out for a spin around the Deep Thought Track (as most folks have not).

So let’s explore it a little bit here…

Critical Think Point #1: Yes, I know the headline on this article is a grammatical car wreck.  It should be “how to think critically”, or at least “how to critically think”.

But this botched phrasing is actually part of the lesson I’m sharing here.

Consider:  The vast majority of people sleep-walk through their lives and careers, never going beneath the surface of anything.  They process, at most, a small fraction of the information they see, hear or read about.

It’s pretty much GIGO.  Garbage in, garbage out.

So the first job of any good marketer is to deliver some level of brain-rattling wake-up call for the prospect.  To literally jolt them out of their semi-permanent reverie, and initiate a more conscious state of awareness.

Cuz you can’t expect a somnambulant zombie to be proactive about following through with your request for buying something.  Or opting in.  Or even just continuing to read.

Thus: Good ad writers make full use of the incongruous juxtaposition of compelling sales elements — or, for short, the “hook”.

Ideally, you want the induced “WTF?” reaction strong enough to unleash a splash of adrenaline, or even physically make ‘em bolt up and take notice.  (As in, “That can’t be right! This violates my entire sense of what’s real!”)

However, you’ll also take a milder reaction, as long as you get a reaction.  And a little slang, or some nifty grammatical tweaking can sometimes do the job.

Now, a word of caution: To jumble up common phrases or to use slang in something important for your bottom line — which is the definition of any ad — requires you to consider the consequences.  And to completely understand the reactions you’re going to trigger.

This should be an easy step for any marketer.  Just think about your audience, and get in touch with how they’re going to receive the message you’re sending out.

And yet, most marketers just won’t do it.  They base expensive, long-term campaigns on vague ideas of how the message is gonna resonate (or not resonate) with prospects.  It’s not even “ready, fire, aim”.  It’s “just throw it out there, and pray it works.”

So the first step to developing a “critical think” mindset: Start walking a mile in the other guy’s shoes.  Really consider what your prospect’s life is like, what fuels his movements in the world, why he does what he does.

You can’t do this casually.  You’ve got to elbow your own ego and belief systems aside, and deflect snap judgements before they take hold.

Critical Think Point #2: In short…

… you’ve got to start thinking like a salesman.  And see your prospects (and the world in general) not as you wish they were…

… and not as you believe they should be.

Instead, you start looking at people and things as they ARE.  The raw reality, minus all spin.

Opinions, common sense, long-held beliefs, even principles and convictions…

… it all has to run the gauntlet of your internal Bullshit Detector.

This includes both the other guy’s actions and thinking behaviors…

… and your own.

You gotta clear your brain of a LOT of nonsense before you can even begin to approach the “truth” of any situation.  As a human, your default setting is to believe that your thoughts, actions, codes of honor, and beliefs are the real deal.

And you measure everything else against that rock-solid bastion of truth and goodness that hogs all the attention in your mind.

So, first: Realize that the other guy has the SAME default setting.

He is positive beyond question that he’s right, and you’re an idiot.  Just like you were thinking how much of a moron he is, and how lucky you are to be so righteous and close to the “real” truth.

This gets heavy, quickly.

You also need to run your instincts (and gut feelings) constantly through your BS Detector, especially when you start out…

… because we’re all front-loaded with piles of unchallenged assumptions, erroneous notions you mistakenly think is “common sense”, and vast rivers of lingering Big Lies and propaganda that has been fed to you for decades by teachers, the media, your parents and The Man.

Basically, you just gotta get over your bad self… and then get past the surface layers of the market you’re in (and all the people populating it)…

… and get clear on how people actually behave and act.

For example, they will SAY they always buy “quality” over cost, when asked…

… and then consistently choose bargain-priced crap over the slightly more expensive well-made stuff when it comes to opening their wallet.

That’s just the tip of it, but it’s a clue.

When you start adopting critical thinking, you are scuba-diving deep into the seldom-explored hidden realities of The Adventure Of Humans In The Asphalt Jungle (otherwise known as The Big Soap Opera We All Live In).

You can no longer be like the typical oblivious neighbor of the recently-caught serial killer, who always says to the TV crew “He seemed like a regular guy… kinda shy, I guess, but he kept the yard looking nice…”.

Oblivious marketers get eaten.

Critical Think Point #3: Finally (for this session, anyway)…

… start actively re-examining everything you read and hear.  (Everything, including news articles, data, info-rich books, email, all of it.)

Here’s a simple trick: Re-word what you read if you aren’t “getting it”.  You can do this in your head, or write it down if that helps.

When I wrote “critical think” instead of “critical thinking” for the title of this article, I was reconstructing a common phrase that usually goes into one ear and straight out the other.

Tweaking common language is like a big stop sign for your brain.  Try it, next time you’re reading something you feel is important.  Reconstruct the concepts, sentences, and ideas into new language.

Have fun with it, too.  Consider how the concept might be interpreted in street slang, or translated for an 8-year-old.

Force your brain not to just be a passive “intake bucket”…

… but to examine stuff to the point that you can rephrase it without losing the meaning.

Even if it’s nonsensical.  (In fact, you’ll remember nonsensical phrases better, because they’re strangely memorable.  The first poem I ever learned, which I still remember, was from a Roger Miller song: “Roses are red, and violets are purple, sugar is sweet and so is maple surple.”  Memorable.)

To sum up: The initial steps of developing some critical think chops are…

1) Wake up and start thinking like a salesman.

2) Tune your Bullshit Detector up to high, permanently.  Use it on yourself, first, and then blast the rest of the world with it as you go.

3) And, practice absorbing info to the point of being able to translate it into something an 8-year-old would understand.

We’ll explore #3 more later.  The act of deconstructing ideas and plans and sales messages is THE main tool in any good marketer’s kit.

For now, let’s hear if you think I’ve missed something with these first steps.

Cuz part of being awake is to take your ideas out for a walk in the cold, cynical world every now and then, and invite pot-shots.  See if the little buggers can withstand scrutiny and abuse.

So have at it in the comments.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. I’m wondering who’s gonna be first to name that Roger Miller song?

Howdy…

Here’s a quick bit of wisdom ripped from the ongoing coaching in the current Simple Writing System program.

It’s actually a tactic I’ve been sharing with consulting clients and mastermind colleagues for decades.  I haul it out whenever someone expresses frustration on what next decision to make.

Key point: It doesn’t matter what the situation is.  This works for business, love, revenge plans, shopping, starting wars, arguing with idiots, wondering what to do on a nice afternoon…

… any situation at all where you need to make a decision.

It also works even if you’re looking at lots of “gray” area… so you’re not facing an either-or, or a fork in the road, or a choice between two clear options.

In fact, it probably works best when you have no idea whatsoever of the POSSIBLE decisions to make.  You’re clueless.  Frozen.  Absolutely blank on the next step.

(This is, by the way, a common reason serious small biz owners come to me for consultation.)  (In the larger corporate world, another long-observed excuse for hiring a consultant is to have someone to blame for making a decision you either can’t or won’t make.  CYA.  Not the best reason to bring in an expert…)

So here’s the tool… edited (and expanded) from a response I just wrote for a student in the SWS program:

Ahem.

When you’re faced with a situation where you must walk a fine line… for example, being careful to stay within rules, guidelines, or other factors that require making a conscious decision to choose a path…

… just make two lists, related to the main goal you have.

List Number One: The things you want to do.

And…

List Number Two: The things you don’t want to do.

Then, to the best of your ability… do what you want to do… and don’t do what you don’t want to do.

Yes, it’s exactly as simple as you think it is.

However, most people don’t go through this process at any level… and the result is muddled thinking and confused results.

Let’s say you want to buy a new car.  You want a cool set of wheels that’s fun to drive.  You don’t want to go into debt.  You don’t want to pay too much insurance.  You don’t want to take crap from your pals about your ride.  You want to get a screamin’ deal. You want to be able to car-camp in it (or maybe make-out in the back seat at the drive-in). And so on.

Seems pretty obvious, doesn’t it?  In the above case, maybe. Decision-Making 101, right?

And yet, lots of otherwise level-headed folks end up with an overpriced wagon their main squeeze hates.  With a shitty sound system (oops, forgot to consider that).

Another example: Your goal is to become an entrepreneur.  You want to work for yourself, be a slave to no one ever again, enjoy the adventure of living life by your own rules, go for the gusto, etc.

Well, guess what?

I’ve seen this happen so often (it happened to me, too) that I now believe it’s an immutable law of nature:  Once you get your entrepreneurial game on, and get your biz going…

… you will be offered a cushy job somewhere.

For lots of money.  Probably more than you’re anticipating earning in your biz this year.  And with perks, like health insurance and a pension, that seem to soothe all your anxieties about navigating capitalism in the modern world.

And now you’ve got a decision to make.

If you’re really cut out to become an entrepreneur, it may be a slightly easier choice.  Fuck the job, what’re you, crazy?

If, however, you find yourself frozen like a deer in headlights… how will you decide?

The lists will help you sort out what you want in life, and business, and security issues and grooming yourself into primo marriage material maybe.

Your decision may require scrapping your goals, and creating new ones.  That’s not a crime.

But you better make damn sure you’re covering the essentials.  It’s no secret that (a) we live in a rare time in history where you really can create your own path in life…

… and (b) it’s still completely up to you to pursue something that brings on the happy-happy, joy-joy.

And all that can really suck, when you’re trying to make a decision that will send you off in totally opposite directions.

This 2 List Tool helps keep everything straight in your head.

Your goal is mega-important: You must know precisely WHAT you want to accomplish — in terms of results, long-term and short-term.  And mid-term, and every other term there is.

Professional copywriters have to dance along a very hazy, very risky line all the time…

… between what a client wants (which is almost always going to murder results)…

… and what the project NEEDS to succeed (which the client almost always will completely freak out over).

My best clients — in particular, the ones I wrote all those killer golf ads for — made a very smart move years ago.  They “took the leash off me”.  Which means, they mailed and ran every ad I wrote, exactly as I wrote it… without a peep.

They were nervous, but they held their tongue…

… and reaped the rewards.

Almost ALL my other clients (over my decades-long career as a freelancer) fussed and fought me and changed stuff to get back to their comfort zone… and it affected results dramatically (and almost always negatively).

I learned, as a survival tool, that the first step to navigating any “line” like that…

… was to know exactly and specifically where you’re stepping, and what’s to each side, and what the consequences of failure and success were.

Thus, the lists.  (Which led me to stop working with clients who couldn’t handle the kind of ads I wrote — no matter how much they paid me — and to actively pursue clients who understood the power of high-end salesmanship.)

I wish I had some photographs of my consulting clients’ faces when I asked them — mid-explanation of their horrific dilemma or “unsolvable problem” — what they WANTED to do.  Or not do.

Most had never considered their own desires.

Or, just as likely, they hadn’t examined their “wants” versus their “don’t wants”.

“Well,” they might say, while confused about their goals, “I want to earn a fortune without working at all, so I can screw off for the rest of my days.  Who wouldn’t want that?”

Really?  I know many, many, many business owners who earned more moolah than they could ever spend in five lifetimes… who nevertheless still work as hard (or harder) everyday at their biz, with the drive of a rookie smelling paydirt.

You know why they do this?  Cuz on their “want” list are things like “I want to make a difference”… “I love to work hard at things I’m passionate about”… “I want to enjoy the satisfaction of being productive until my ticket gets punched”… and so on.

And on their “don’t want” list: Don’t wanna be bored.  Don’t wanna become a lazy bum hanging around tourist traps.  Don’t wanna lose the opportunity to make a difference.

Crafting good goals for yourself is a process, not an event.  First, you need to realize that yes, you CAN want something.  (I never believed this was allowed, until I discovered goal-setting.)

Then, you need to come to terms with the idea that you’re allowed to make a plan to go GET what you want.  (Shocking to me as a working class kid who felt doomed to working at a job for the rest of my life.)

And finally… you need to experience that transformation of spirit and mind that only occurs when you PUT YOUR PLAN INTO ACTION.  And start nailing some goals.

It’s like the universe was playing a game of hide-and-go-seek, without telling you.  And as long as you didn’t seek, nothing happened.

But when you finally got your butt in gear… oh, my.  The vast wonders of feasting on life suddenly abound.  The adventure begins in earnest.  Your boat done docks.

So… yeah, the 2 List Tool is simple, and pretty obvious.  Just like breathing is simple, and obvious.

Life is a series of decisions.  Ignoring or avoiding or putting them off are all decisions.  Being courageous while scared to death is also a decision.  So is choosing to become conscious about how you move through life, and who you let push you around.

I like to keep my tool kit simple.  There are always excellent ways to complicate your life — no shortage of drama and anxiety and bad choices out there.  And they all arrive at your door whether you seek them out or not.

The best defense is a great offense.  Like having goals that resonate in your brain and heart, and having a plan to go get ‘em.

Does this 2 List Tool seem like something that can help you out?

Do you have any observations or experience or tricks to add?

What have you got in your career tool kit?

Comment threads are open…

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. If you’re interested in learning more about creating your own killer action plan — for your biz, for your life, for everything — then block off February 25-26 on your calendar.

Cuz I’m going to personally host (along with my biz partner Stan) an intense, hands-on, totally interactive little event we call The Action Seminar.  Down in San Diego.

We’ve got the venue locked in, we’ve got a jaw-dropping list of guest experts showing up (cuz they love the concept of “action”)… and we’ll be announcing more details in just a bit.

To make sure you’re on the notification list, sign in below.

Wednesday, 8:53pm
Reno, NV
“Make no mistake… this is an exercise in radical self-reliance…” (Burning Man survival guide)

Howdy…

No, I’m not at Burning Man this year.

Just couldn’t pull it off, because of random acts of viciousness and distraction ladled upon my poor vulnerable head by the universe.

Visited last year.  Might go next year, too.

I’ll see this Burn, though, through the sky-cam there in the smoldering Black Rock desert, if I see it at all.

However, just thinking about that amazingly unique event generated a familiar thought about survival.

I call it “The Hard Knocks Lesson Of Three’s“.

It applies to stuff like attending an event like Burning Man… which is a week-long freak show in the middle of the playa, way the hell in the middle of the northern Nevada desert.

Nothing you’ve ever done in your life, to this point, can totally prepare you for the experience.

One day before the event, the desert is a wasteland, free of humans.  One day into the event, it’s suddenly a Mad Max-styled city of 40,000 partiers who stay up all night torching stuff and dancing themselves into madness to blaring trance music (which goes 24 hours a day out there).

Lots of art, and street theater, and comraderie, and general naughtiness ensue, at levels you simply are not prepared for.

Experienced Burners report it’s a very raw, pure form of fun.  But daunting fun, at first.

You gotta bring every drop of your own water and food (or barter for it from others — no money is allowed inside Black Rock City)…

… and you’re on your own dealing with the sand storms, the brain-melting heat, the absolute lack of basic resources, and all the other details of maintaining good-animal health in the middle of Hell.

Trust me, it’s something that has to be seen to be believed.  People arrive from every corner of the globe, eager to get the party started again.

Burners take the self-reliance code to heart.  They truck in everything they need, and truck it back out again when the show’s over.  No trace is left of the massive city, or the party.

This once-a-year bacchanalia has been going on since the 1980s, with little or no mayhem or tragedy.

Self-reliant partiers.  It’s a concept.

The lesson, however, applies to all sorts of new experiences.  Like starting a new job.  Or putting together a market launch of a new product.  Or engaging in a new course or mentoring program.

Here’s what I’ve found:

1. The first time you do anything new, your senses are kind of overwhelmed.  You may not even realize if you’re having a good time, or a worthwhile experience, until after you’re done and you can look back on it.

This first time is essential to the process.

Just get it done.  Do the best you can, and expect nothing and everything, while allowing the experience to wind out as it will.

2. You will either have a good experience, or a bad one.

It doesn’t matter which (unless you’re a pussy and the bad experience sours you on going further into the process forever).

If it’s good, you have a benchmark for what a “good” experience is about.  And you may want to attemtp to repeat it the next time out.  Or top it.

If it’s a bummer, you have a benchmark for what a “bad” experience is about.  And you will want to take steps to avoid it next time.

3. After you’ve had two rounds, you have accumulated a little storehouse of insight, knowledge and hands-on experience.  It could be all good, all bad, or a mix.

But it’s the third time out where you can now call yourself “experienced”.

You have context, now, to judge and adjust and feel at home with the process.

I’ve lived in many different cities in my time.  Had many different jobs, started many different relationships, gone on many different adventures.

And all these different experiences started out overwhelming… and got dramatically easier to maneuver through on the third time around.

I even used it as a way to build up familiarity in strange towns.  The third day in a row you go to the same cafe for lunch, sit in the same place, and order the same thing… you’ll get noticed. You’re no longer an invisible face in the crowd.

You are now seen in context.

(When I first moved to Virginia City, I stopped by the Bucket O’ Blood saloon once a day on my daily walks around town for a beer.  On the third visit, the bartender leans over and whispers “Are you a local?  Damn, I’ve been charging you ‘tourist’ prices for that beer.  This one’s on me.”)

In even the scariest new job, the third day gives you solid hints to what your daily routine will become.  Getting there on time, knowing the rules, figuring out who the assholes are and who the cool kids are.

It’s a process of collecting and consciously analyzing incoming data.

At Burning Man, the dramatic self-reliance required can be shocking the first time out.

By the third year’s journey, you can probably call yourself a veteran Burner.  Sure, there will always be unexpected stuff.  But while alarming, the new tweaks to the experience will fit into the greater perspective you have from having been there before.

Just knowing this rule can take a lot of heat off your stress levels.

As a rookie, you’re a liability to the people around you.  You’re encountering everything for the first time, and you have no context for how you’re going to react.

The next time, you’ll do better.

And by the third go-round, your comfort level with the very stuff that may have alarmed you before will be astounding.

It may occasionally take more than three attempts to “get” any given situation or experience down pat.

You certainly will not be an “expert” at it yet.

But you will have some history, good or bad, and that allows you a little internal reference library of experience to draw on.

During those stretches in my life where I was constantly experiencing upheaval, radical change and emotional turmoil, keeping this simple rule of 3′s in mind helped a lot.

I never put pressure on myself to excel right out of the blocks.  I took it slow, kept copious notes, and built upon every minor success while correcting the mistakes.

People fear change and new things.  It’s in our DNA.

The key to beating fear is to acknowledge it, and engage in the experience anyway.  Know that you’re probably not going to ace it this first time out… but what you learn will give you a foundation to becoming more confident and comfortable each successive time.

I’ve been a rookie, a lot.  I welcome most opportunities to try new things.

And I’m a grizzled veteran of nearly everything I’ve experienced and liked (or needed to like, to further my goals).

I’m also a pro at dealing with a lot of the bad shit that can come crashing down on you.  Been there, done that.

It’s a process.

Just a little advice to help you navigate the dusty road.

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. I’ve been burning up Twitter lately.

If you want in on the fun, you gotta follow me, though:

http://www.twitter.com/johncarlton007

Do not be fooled by poseurs.  Stick with the real thing…

Howdy…

Have you seen my partner Stan’s first information video?

I think you need to see it, if you’re interested in mastering communication (which is the life-blood of selling lots and lots of stuff).

Personally, I find his video fascinating. He’s getting a ton of feedback on it, and we just spent an hour on the phone talking about it. One guy sent him such a personal email that Stan called him… not to argue, but to get the background story on why the guy had the opinion he had.

It was a calm conversation, Stan tells me… yet, at first, it was like sharing a bench on the fourth floor of the Tower of Babel. Each person was saying something important, but mere words didn’t seem to be able to get any points across.

I’m laughing my ass off over this as Stan tells the tale.

Cuz this is all about communication… and for the 25 years I’ve known Stan, we are constantly bickering about who said (or didn’t say) what, and who’s right and who’s a miserable toad for being so wrong.

It’s the foundation of our friendship.

Remember Star Trek? Stan’s like Spock, only with a sense of humor (and a taste for jazz and good beer). Very, VERY logical, and impatient with people who process info in illogical ways.

Like, oh… me, for instance.

Drives him frigging bonkers.

And I’d have to say I’m like Captain Kirk… not a “leader” as in the highest ranking dude, but rather the guy who gleefully drags everyone else on another risky, dangerous, futile yet emminently exciting adventure.

(Side note: Did you know that — in the original Star Trek — whenever an unidentified member of the crew transported down to a new planet with Spock and Kirk… he would be killed in some horrible and gruesome manner before the next commerical break? The character was named “Ensign Expendable” — and he was doomed to be a mere plot device every single time, without even a line of dialog except “Aaaaagh!“…)

(I wonder if any Trekkies go to a Star Trek convention as Ensign Expendable? I’ll tag this blog, and see if any Trekkies log on with an answer…)

Anyway…

Communicating with another human being is never simple.

If anyone tries to tell you otherwise, walk away. They’re dangerously wrong.

In a broad sense, the population is roughly divided into 3 categories of cognitive processing:

1. Left-brain thinking (very logical and concrete)…

2. Right-brain thinking (very creative, “out of the box” worldview)… and…

3. No-brain thinking.

That third category, unfortunately, dominates the world. Id-driven thugs rule with brute, unthinking force all over the map. They of course need logical assistants to run things, and right-brain creatives to write their speeches… but the final decisions rest with the knucklehead.

The first folks to get hung in any revolution are the smart ones, you know.

The triumph of modern democracy rests on the First Amendment, with its guaranteed protection of free speech (and, implied, free thought as well). We take it for granted… but most of the rest of the world enjoys no such freedom.

So the upside of life in the US is that everyone gets to talk freely to each other.

The downside… is that few of us actually know HOW to talk to another human so we’re understood.

(Quick tip: One of the fundamentals of becoming a great salesman is best explained in the classic “How To Win Friends And Influence People” — also called “the salesman’s bible.” The most important skill in that book is listening… and rephrasing what you just heard back to the other guy. This is proof that you listened… and processed what you heard. And this will astonish anyone you use it on… because everyone else isn’t listening at all — they’re just waiting impatiently until they can interupt to stress their point, regardless of what the other guy has said.)

All master salesmen are master communicators. As a copywriter, I knew I’d turned a corner in my career when I could take a complex situation… and explain it in two or three paragraphs in such an obvious way, it was hard to remember why it seemed so complex before.

Your Number One Job as a marketer… is to get your point across.

Your job is NOT to be “right”.

It’s to get your point across so it’s UNDERSTOOD by the other guy.

In Transactional Analysis, there’s a situation called “Gotcha!” This occurs when one guy explains something in ways that are perfectly clear to him… using facts, figures, statistics, anecdotes, stories, whatever… and… when the other guy doesn’t understand, and screws up…

… then the first guy gets to claim status as the “dude who should be listened to, goddamn it.” He gets to yell “gotcha — I TOLD you what would happen (or how it was supposed to work)… and you just wouldn’t listen.”

It’s a sick, sick game.

In business, you don’t “win” if you were right… but no one understood WHY you were right, and thus did not buy.

As a consultant, I am constantly faced with having to explain to a client — in simple terms, and calmly so I don’t startle him — that he’s been selling the wrong thing, in the wrong way… and that’s why sales suck.

I always get the same argument back: But these are the FACTS. It IS a great product, and…

Of course, what he’s usually doing is tossing boring features around, unmoored to any thrilling benefits that could help a prospect “feel” like buying.

It’s hard to sell your own stuff. We all have a natural tendency to burrow too deep into our own box, where we gulp our own Kool-Aid while wearing blinders. (I think I just won the Best Mixed Metaphor award there.)

This is why top salesmen — and top copywriters — are so sought after. We’re the modern wizards, craftily seeing through fog and making sense out of nonsense.

And yet…

… sometimes I meet my match.

Stan and I often have a disturbing recurring conversation. He will insist he’s told me something at least 3 different times, in 3 different ways. And he’s right — the man is honest to a fault, and sees no point in exaggerating. If he says he did somethng, he did it.

That’s a fact.

And yet, I will insist back that (a) I have zero memory of him telling me anything remotely like that… and (b) I nevertheless do not understand what it is he’s trying to communicate to me.

So, he told me, and I never heard it.

If either of us were lesser mortals, one of us would have murdered the other long ago.

However, our mutual respect is so deep, that we take all criticism seriously. I may not understand why Stan is arguing with me over some point… but the mere fact that he IS arguing means I need to pay attention and figure it out.

This is important.

Both of us are MASTER communicators. I’ve earned fortunes using my communication skills to sell massive worlds of stuff to skeptical, miserly hordes of customers. And Stan was a consultant so skilled in communicating the vagaries of software and “process analysis” to large corporations (including Cisco Systems, Wells Fargo, Exxon, and even NATO in Europe) that — for 20 years — he was among the most sought-after and highly-paid “gurus” of that essential corner of the information age.

Top of our games, both of us.

And yet we still bicker and argue over every detail of our entrepreneurial adventures.

There’s a lesson here for all of us.

First: Never assume that because YOU understand something… everyone else should, too.

It ain’t so.

Second: The fastest and easiest way to learn just how far off you are in communicating your message… is to ask for questions.

My pal Alex Mandosian perfected the “Ask Campaign” years ago online, as a way to determine exactly what needed to be addressed in any clear sales message. And you could do it before the product was even created. You just explain what you intend to do, and ask for feedback.

Before the Web, this would be a tangled process that could take months or longer. And cost an arm and a leg.

However, with email, the Internet, and all the other hyper-fast communication channels now in our toolkit, you can get an astonishing thorough FAQ (frequently asked questions) page functioning and providing info almost immediately.

And get this: I’ve never met a marketer who did this… who was not blown away by the questions people were asking. This is an almost unfair advantage — each question that comes up more than once represents an objection that can KILL sales for you unless it is countered.

So you will never be blindsided.

Knowing what prospects are actually thinking… instead of guessing (or, worse, relying on your own feeble idea of what someone “needs” to know to be persuaded to buy)… allows you to own the greatest “cheat sheet” imagineable as you create your sales message.

This cheat sheet will point out every hole in your original argument… allowing you a chance to correct misunderstands and obliterate potential un-met objections.

Result: Instant hero. Wealth beyond the dreams of avarice.

Third: Still, you gotta start someplace… even to begin acquiring questions.

This is where communication pro’s shine. Cuz we don’t rely on logic — we have nurtured and honed our peculiar right-brain tools to create something out of thin air, using vague blueprints that only we can see.

And here’s a secret tip: It’s all about SIMPLIFICATION.

Unraveling the complex, so it’s easy to understand.

Stan, for example, is easily among the smartest dudes I’ve ever met. You could lop fifty points off his IQ, and he’d still be smarter than you and me combined. (Okay, that’s a right-brain exaggeration, but I’m making a point here.)

However, all that brain wattage can be a handicap at times. I’ve learned how to “hear” him over the years — as part of my quest to be able to “hear” everyone I know (including the wacko’s, the geniuses, the dumbfucks, the agenda-driven, and the devious).

So, while he’s constructing a logically correct structure of related tangents, plus essential points that must be retained until the end of the explanation, all buffetted by blindingly-unassailable facts (facts!)… I’m doing my best to “catalog” everything according to the somewhat scattered, very intuitive and non-logical filing system in MY head.

Man, it can be a challenge.

But it’s also one of the best lessons in pure communication I’ve ever encountered.

What I do… and what I believe Stan has picked up from me (and is using more and more when dealing with us “lightweight creative-type brainiacs”)… is BREAK IT ALL DOWN.

This is a killer tactic for copywriters and for any salesman trying to communicate more than one or two points with a target audience.

The easiest method: Just enumerate each point. One, then two, then three, then on to four, five, six and beyond.

But keep each numbered point “pure” — don’t clutter it up with other points, or sub-points, or tangents, or anything else.

Stay focused on explaining a single piece of the puzzle at a time. Forget about “tying it all together” until after you’ve covered each point, individually.

Top copywriters know that a sale can be triggered by a SINGLE bullet point (even when that one bullet is nestled among dozens of others in your sales piece).

And you can almost never predict WHICH bullet it will be. Could be a different bullet for each buyer. (If you discover it’s a specific bullet behind most sales, then you’ve discovered the headline of your next piece. Lucky you.)

Breaking things down into easy-to-understand points takes away all the complexity. Even if you end up with 999 separate points… which is how you’d break down something VERY complex, like building a gas-powered internal combustion engine from scratch… if you make each step easy-to-understand, you can walk a rookie all the way through.

But you can screw it up, too.

Let’s take skipping rocks.

You would be criminally over-simplifying the process if you said “Dude, just throw a rock across the water so it skips.”

That may explain it to YOU, who already is experienced in skipping. But it’s incoherent to someone else. You’ll frustrate them, and frustrate yourself.

Try this:

1. Find a smooth, flat stone.
2. Throw it sidearm, so the arc of your toss is more-or-less level with the surface of the water.
3. Aim for calm water to minimize “bumps”.

If you follow this advice, you’ll skip a rock. It may only be one or two skips, but you’ll skip.

In fact, even if you screw up the first point, and use an uneven, round, jagged rock… you’ll still make it sorta skip if you throw it sidearm onto flat water.

Now… if you want to skip multiple times (phtt, phtt, phtt, phtt)… then you’ll want to go deeper into this basic explanation. Why a smooth, flat stone? To reduce friction. Why sidearm? So the contact of stone and water surface is gradual…

And so on.

You gotta see Stan’s first video.

First, he’s such a likeable, funny guy… that it’s startling when you realize the brain power under that gleaming bald dome.

Second, the logic of his presentation is unassailable.

And third… well, I want to hear what you think.

People are responding in all kinds of ways… from the cryptic “nod”, to outrage, to total and fulfilling satisfaction. And that’s just those responses he’s told me about.

It’s his first video. He’ll be doing dozens more, just this business cycle, and we’re both feverishly studying the “craft” of delivering great video. (And I’ll be sharing what I learn here… and I’m learning from the guys at the cutting edge of the form… so listen up.)

He’s no longer a “video virgin”. I think it’s a great learning experience to see how this guy — who communicates so effectively with certain types — makes his case to a broad swath of the population… including people he’d rather strangle. (Thousands will be exposed to this video before the night is over.)

The subject: How a Dutch auction works… and the specific strategy for winning that you don’t know about yet.

The stakes are incredibly high: As you should know by now, I’m offering a one-of-a-kind hands-on, super-interactive workshop on copywriting in San Francisco on May 2-4. I’ll be personally teaching 20 people the exact step-by-step process I go through while writing anything that has to sell stuff. (This “checklist” is the foundation to ALL of my success over the years.)

However… we’re not selling seats at a set price. There is a strict limit of 20 spots available, because I’m doing so much hands-on, personal teaching, that I can’t handle even one more person.

And those 20 spots are being offered in a Dutch auction.

Yep — you get to bid on getting in. You have a hand in setting the attendance fee at whatever you believe is fair. And EVERYBODY’S got an equal shot at winning.

It’s created a buzz in the industry.

This is important. The Dutch style auction is the OLDEST and most proven way of finding a price through an auction.

Yet, it’s the least used today.

Warren Buffett — the brilliant investor who has been one of the global economy’s wealthiest men for decades — uses it. “Insiders” in the high-end auction world completely understand it.

But most Americans have never encountered it before. We’re used to the other two types — where a motor-mouth auctioneer brow-beats an audience into coughing up dough (and there’s only one winner)… and the standard eBay style auction, where the goal is to swoop in last with a winning bid that barely beats everyone else.

The Dutch auction is different. And if you try to win one of the 20 seats we’re offering with a strategy of swooping in at the last minute… you’ll lose.

Stan explains the process in his video.

To see it, go here:

http://www.carlton-workshop.com

He’s posted it in the right-hand column.

I’d love to hear what you think. So would Stan.

Stay frosty,

John Carlton

P.S. Almost forgot — while the actual seminar is May 2-4… the Dutch auction (where all available seats will be bought) is over this Thursday, April 10, precisely at 2pm Eastern Time. (That’s 11am Pacific, for the time-zone challenged, like me.)

Every seat will sell out — there are already more bids than seats available. However, who wins each of the top 20 spots will not be determined until the bidding stops on Thursday.

So strategy matters.

Check out Stan’s explanatory video.

P.P.S. On a more sobering note…

… tomorrow (April 8th) is the anniversary of the death of my great friend, former partner, and long-time mentor Gary Halbert.

His sons, Bond and Kevin (also good friends of mine), and I have been in constant contact over this past year (while they cobble together Gary’s legacy, and get his website current again).

However, the trauma of Gary’s sudden and totally unexpected passing made that period of time a year ago very disjointed for me.

I actually did not remember the exact day — it was just part of a jumbled week or so of grief and shock. (Bond reminded me just today that tomorrow is the anniversary.)

It’s still a raw spot in my heart… and I plan on spending tomorrow in my own way, paying a private homage to a great man and a friend I shall miss forever.

I will, however, post something about Gary this week.

Just not tomorrow.

Not tomorrow.