Monday, 11:34pm
Visalia, CA
“I never drink… wine.“  (Bela Lugosi, “Dracula”)

Howdy.

Special treat today.  I’ve asked an old friend (and killer copywriter) to guest post on the blog here.

Jim Curley and I go way back (to, gasp, Before The Birth Of The Internets As A Marketing Force)…

… and he’s one of those Web-hip veteran copywriters who brings a healthy dose of old-school wisdom and experience to everything he does.  He’s well steeped in all the manly markets (golf, self-defense, hot rod body artwork, family life, vampires, stuff like that).  I’ve had him as a wingman at multiple seminars, and I’ve hired him as a writer for my own projects.

That’s how good he is.

I didn’t give Jimbo any directions on what he could write about, either.  I trust the guy completely…

… and just told him to dig into one of the subjects he and I enjoy talking and bitching about when we get together.

This is a good lesson Jim’s sharing with you.

Enjoy… and don’t be shy about posting a comment afterward.  We’ve had some spectacular comment threads over the past year in this blog.  Always good to hear from y’all.

Here’s Jimbo:

Thanks for the intro, John.

I’ve got a couple important “street marketing” lessons for everyone here… so let’s just get right into it.

The first one I’ll call:

“Who the hell are YOU talking to?”

Now before I go any further, you should know that I’ve been a copywriter and marketer for over 25 years… and have been working with John Carlton for about 15 of those years.

It continues to be a humbling experience.

Just about the time I get pleased with my writing and the voices begin to whisper “oh, you are sooo good“…

… John blindsides me with some deep insight… kernel of wisdom…

… or shocking zinger of truth that slams me back into reality.

As a lifelong dedicated writer, of course, you love this kind of interaction.  It forces you to stay nimble… and ALWAYS keep your eyes and ears open.

And that is what these street marketing lessons are all about. Subtle observations and interesting truths about marketing and sales…

… gleaned from the real world…

… where prospects and customers are living, breathing, complex and fascinating.

Okay… the first lesson I’ll tell you about hit me after I saw the movie “Eclipse”.

If you’re not familiar with the whole “Twilight” series of books and movies, don’t worry…

… it only means you’re deeply out of touch with what every teen and pre-teen girl in the industrial world has been swooning over for the last two years.

But before you peg me as some sort of girlie-man, let me be clear:

It was my 16 year old granddaughter who dragged me to this movie!

She did it partly because she loves me… and partly because I was paying.

(Quick personal note: Yes, I’m just 50-years-old, and I’ve got FIVE grandkids.  It’s the result of some very fertile DNA.  And let’s leave it at that.)

Back to the story: In a nutshell, the movie is based on a series of books written by Stephanie Myers about “Edward”, a sexy-sexy vampire…

…who’s madly in love with the awkward and not-so-terribly-beautiful main character, “Bella”.

And then there’s the hot, often shirtless werewolf “Jacob”, who’s also in love with Bella. And he’s so very-very buff… and so jealous of the sexy-sexy Edward.

And the werewolves… and vampires… and essentially all the beautiful people of the world are soon fighting for the attention and love of this plain and clumsy teenage girl.

Oh, it’s a scene man.

However…

Here’s where the fun part starts:

The day after seeing this movie, I read a review of “Eclipse” written by AP’s David Germain… a guy who’s probably very much like me (eats too much red meat, grapefruit-sized prostate, and who’s starting to have serious issues with wire-like hair growing out of his ears).

His review read: “…while ‘Eclipse’ may not be dreadfully dumb, it’s still pretty dumb.”

“Pretty dumb”… for WHO? Him?

Seems that Germain doesn’t understand that the recently-filthy-rich producers of this movie series couldn’t give a rat’s-ass what a middle-aged man thinks.

Hollywood is in the business of SELLING movies… and like any smart business person, their first big question has got to be:

“Who the hell are we targeting?“

Because you can’t target “everyone” (duh).  So those clever movie execs started this whole process in some boardroom… wringing their hands and looking at the stats.

“Hmmm…” they intoned, scanning charts.  “Look at this:  Pubescent girls raging with hormones are in charge of billions of dollars of discretionary spending…

“Hey!  You think maybe THAT may be a good target market?”

Perhaps these young teen females could relate to this story of a klutzy and not-so-attractive girl…

…who has two groping, shirtless, super-hunks fighting over her while her entire high-school… indeed the rest of the known world… watches on in breathless envy.

Yes… just perhaps that may work.

Granted… like Germain, I too thought the movie was silly.  But that’s not the point.

My 16-year-old grand-daughter LOVED it. She was swept away… saw the movie at least five more times…

… joined some scary “Team Jacob” gang…

…and plastered her life with “Twilight” stickers, shirts, posters, notebooks, etc.

And THAT is the point.

From the perspective of a marketer, the people behind the “Twilight Series” are friggin’ geniuses.

They absolutely nailed it… and managed to tap into millions of fans and millions in sales. Something like $100 million and counting.

How’s that for a “dumb movie”?

So what am I driving at?

What does this have to do with YOUR marketing?

Just this: MOST of the business people and entrepreneurs that I’ve worked with over the years are a little (and sometimes a lot) like this Germain cat.

They don’t quite “get” how important it is to have the “WHO” part of their marketing figured out right from the get-go.

And it is the “WHO” — more than any other element — that is the difference between huge fortune and utter failure!

Really.

And you can’t just INVENT a convenient answer to this “Who the hell are YOU talking to?” question either.

Nope.  It can’t be made-up… or based on theory or guesswork.

Look: I write for the same self-defense company John worked with for many years.

So let’s do a quick exercise here… and see if we can’t “wing-it” and figure out WHO should be the best target of their fighting products.

It’ll be fun, I swear.

Let see… hmmm… who NEEDS a self defense product?

Well, it would be the weakest among us of course. Perfectly logical.

And women are certainly physically weaker than men, in most cases.

And women, sadly, are often the target of violence… and sexual attacks.

And it’s typically younger women who are assaulted in that fashion… and they will certainly never want to be attacked again… and maybe they’re even looking for some sweet revenge.

There we go… I think we have it.

Our target — the people we will be directing our message and all of our valuable marketing resources — will be women, 18-45, who have likely suffered some sort of assault or violent attack and perhaps are seeking a chance to deliver some serious “payback”.

Sound good? Sure it does…

Makes perfect sense.

Let’s buy up some magazine space in Better Homes and Garden and Women’s Day.

We’ll hunt down a broker and purchase a mailing list… hire a copywriter… print up a million mailers. Get our Google campaign cranked up and pay a Web geek to build a site and maximize SEO.

One minor problem, however…

… and I can prove this:  The customers of self-defense products are almost 100% MEN.

Women, for whatever reason — even though they may desperately need this kind of a product — simply do not buy “how to fight” instructional materials.

And the best sales message in the world won’t persuade them to do so.  We’ve tried.  You may get some minor action, but it will never be a home-run marketing campaign.

See what guesswork gets you?

Imagine running down THAT blind alley for any period of time. It’s the kind of thing that can put you out of business… quick.

So you MUST perform your due diligence… and research blogs, books, magazines, websites and especially competitors — just to get a vague idea of WHO you are talking to.

After that, as you develop a customer base, you will need to continually refine your targeting.

Which brings me to my next lesson…

“How To Kill Nazi Zombies.”

Bear with me… this will all tie together in one neat little bow.

This lesson popped into my head while playing the gruesome video-game “Nazi Zombies” with my 15-year-old grandson.  (Yes, all these lessons are inter-generational revelations.)

Briefly: The gist of the video game is that you’re trapped in a blown-out building during World War II… while Nazi zombies are trying to climb through the windows and eat you.

Your job is to use the available weapons to kill them first.

Problem was, it was ME getting killed while my grandson continued to survive… and ring-up massive points… and chuckle while I was being torn apart and eaten.

I didn’t want to be torn apart and eaten.

So I quickly figured out where I was going wrong.

Turns out that while I was using a measly .22 pistol and pumping a full 6 body-shots to get a kill…

… my uber-smart grandson runs over to a special weapons locker and grabs a scoped-rifle and kills zombies with just ONE shot… to the head.

My point is this: Many entrepreneurs and business owners are selling products and making some money…

… but MOST still haven’t figured out the “sweet spot” of their target market… where profits are easier and faster and more efficient to bring in.

Instead, they’ve settled permanently into a comfort zone… and are using the equivalent of a poorly-aimed .22 pistol as their marketing campaign.

It works “okay”… so why change?

Well, because it means you’re very likely leaving stacks of money on the table… that’s why you should change.

Oh yeah… and the zombies are closing in for the kill.

Which brings me back to the Twilight series.

Do you think Stephanie Myers analyzed the market, ran that stats, and determined that young teen girls were such a lucrative market that she would write a series of Twilight books just to go after their money?

No. She wrote the books in her apartment, after a vivid dream, with zero market planning.

But when the books began to sell… smart people in Hollywood suspected she was on to something. That she had somehow touched a nerve… hit the sweet-spot…

… and they rightly smelled millions.  (Fill in your own note here about Hollywood execs having a lot in common with vampires.)

And this “find the sweet spot” exercise is exactly what YOU have to do.

Even if you’re making damn good money right now, I’m betting that you didn’t do months of tough market research to see if you’ve maxed-out your potential.

That’s okay.  You’ve winged a zombie with your .22… and now it’s time to grab the scoped rifle.

Now it’s time to pinpoint your customers’ little g-spot.

Quick Tip From A Grizzled Pro: One of the most foolproof ways to find that sweet-spot is to actually spend time analyzing your customers.

Where do they live? How old are they? What do they like most about your product? What do they think you can improve?

Spend an afternoon… or a couple of afternoons… and look for patterns.

Sound like a hassle? Well, when your efforts start to double and triple your income… suddenly it doesn’t seem so much of a hassle.

Of course some questions can’t be answered by looking at a database of customer stats. So here’s a big idea:

Ask your customers!

Use an “ASK campaign”. Start one right away and see what your customer really want. And where you may be doing things right… and wrong.

It’s actually very easy, and their answers will likely shock you — prompting the development of laser-targeted products and sales messages.

This is where your competitors start to hate and fear you.

And family and friends begin to believe you have some kind of Midas touch.

That’s fine… let them believe that.

As long as YOU don’t start believing it… and allow those siren voices to convince you to relax… that you’ve got it all figured out… and that it’s time to stop being curious about how you can better serve your customers.

That, my friend, is how you’ll be torn apart and eaten by those annoying Nazi zombies.

Welcome to the game.

For better marketing…

Jimmy Curley

Thursday, 11:49pm
Reno, NV
“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (Talking Heads,”Psycho Killer”, ca. 1979)

Howdy.

Quick lesson today, which should help you understand one of the fundamental truths of kick-ass marketing.

That truth: There is almost always a way to fix or solve a marketing problem.

Actually, that truth is also functional in every-day life…

… but that’s a much longer lesson.

Here’s the quickie version, for marketers: I was just delivering this story in one of the Simple Writing System classrooms, and thought I’d share with you here, too.

As any decent marketer knows, the Prime Directive of a sales process is to discover your best possible prospect… and “reach” him with your sales message.

Seems simple enough.  Sometimes, it is.  If you’re selling hamburgers near a starving crowd, you’re set. Just open your doors and tell folks to line up.

For a while (back in the Good Old Days of Internet marketing), all you had to do was:

Step One: Be the first into a hot niche…

Step Two: With a sloppy website…

Step Three: And let the search engines round up your prospects.

Oh, and bank the piles of dough cascading in.

It’s fun when things work smoothly like that.

And it gets frustrating when things should work smoothly… but don’t.

Like, when you have a great product, and you can point out your perfect prospect… (he’s right over there, right there)… who really will benefit from your wonderful stuff, and who should be buying from you right now, cuz you’re a bitchin’ dude and your offer is so flat-out primo.

But it’s a living nightmare, because that prospect isn’t paying any attention to you — (and you’re right here, dammit, hey, stop ignoring me!) — and you’re invisible to him.

While he wanders along, oblivious, and even (gasp!) buys that inferior crap from your trashy competition, who are mean, unethical psychopaths who eat kittens.

It’s just wrong.  It’s not fair, it’s a really, really bad situation, and Reality sucks and should be ashamed of itself.

I hear this refrain a lot from folks who cut their marketing teeth during the Gold Rush period of the Web, when they could do no wrong, and the wired world beat down their door to worship at their feet.  (For a brief time, they were like the only boy in a school full of girls around prom time — saddling them with a much over-bloated sense of their attractiveness and power.)

Meanwhile, us grizzled experienced veterans from the Old School offer rueful sympathy.

Hell, yeah, it was fun back when moolah poured down on us from magic online faucets, when gold crunched under our feet everywhere we went, and low-hanging fruit stretched forever into the distance.

It was fun… and it never had a chance of lasting very long.

And here we are, in this brave new world of an all-grown-up, super-competitive marketplace crusted with economic vagueness…

… where, what d’ya know, a little honest experience in selling can once again save your butt.

Look — it often IS hard to reach certain types of prospects in the real world.

It’s not impossible, however.  In fact, it can be done fairly easily, once you get your head straight (and learn a few simple salesmanship chops).

I learned this lesson early on, as part of my “Gun To The Head” attitude of creating ads.

That attitude was simple: With a gun to my head that would go off if my ad didn’t work…

… would I still use that headline… that sales message… that word in that paragraph… or any other risky tactic to FUBAR the chances of the little ad I was sending out into the cold, cruel world?

Back then, it really would have been career-suicide to write ads that bombed.  I had no reputation, no contacts in the industry, no one watching my back.

So being clever, or funny, or taking grandiose creative risks with a client’s advertising was out of the question.

Instead, I concentrated on classic salesmanship — the Old School stuff that has worked since the beginning of history, and has never stopped working (not even for a moment).

This attitude didn’t win me any friends among the other professional copywriters I was competing against.  They hated salesmanship, mostly.  Considered it beneath them.  They saw their job as being clever and creative.

Meanwhile, my ads worked (while theirs bombed), and suddenly I had a reputation as a guy who could get the job done.

(It was also extremely satisfying when clients discovered I was a funny, witty dude when not working.  I just didn’t take chances with my ad writing… cuz there was money on the line.  I assured them that the moment the universe shifted, and clever ads started pulling down bigger profits, then I would be the first writer to start pumping out clever copy.  Until then, however, I would continue to skip the goofy attempts to circumvent good salesmanship… and just write what brought in the cashola.  And we could use the profits to go buy privileged seating at the comedy clubs when we wanted to laugh at something.)

(I had a note taped to my monitor that kept me focused, too.  It was a quote by the painter Renoir, who knew what he was talking about:  “First, learn your craft.  It won’t prevent you from becoming a genius later.“  Huge wisdom there.)

Now, this “Gun To The Head” attitude also worked when I (or my sales letter) had to dodge and weave through layers of gate keepers to reach The Dude Who Can Sign A Check.

This is a critical step for ANYONE and ANY AD sent out into the business world to collect coin.

It causes no end of problems to have lengthy sessions with someone who can’t make a final decision… or to put a sales letter into the hands of that guy… who then has to go sell THEIR boss — or, worse, a committee — on the deal , without you there to guide the pitch.

Memorize this:  It is usually a waste of time to sell someone in a company on something, when that someone can’t write a check to pay for it.

No matter how excited or ready-to-go that person is… if he has to take his request through a gauntlet of gate keepers, the deal will die.  (A gate keeper — also known as a “Little Hitler” because they wield the power to axe any project on a whim — considers their primary job as protecting their boss from strange new out-of-the-box ideas.  They’re like a hungry bear standing in the river during salmon spawning season, gobbling up every incoming message.)

So, how do you handle a situation where you cannot reach The Dude Who Signs Checks by phone, or by email, or direct mail, or any of the normal channels?

Cue “Gun To The Head” thinking.

With my life on the line if I failed, what was I willing/able to do… to get my sales message into the hands of the right person?

Just working this out is excellent brain-exercise.

And you start by imagining every single way you can come up with to get past those gate keepers.  No idea is too wild, too outrageous, or too nonsensical during this early brainstorming period.

There is always a way to get something done. Always.

Of course, I refuse to be unethical, or do anything illegal… so most of the imaginary scenarios that burble up to the surface aren’t something I would ever do.  But I put them down on the list anyway.  Like sneaking into the offices after hours, Mission Impossible-style, and leaving my sales letter on his chair, marked “Urgent”.  Or hacking their email system and stealing the password of his most trusted assistant, so the email could come from her.  Or joining his golf club, so I could be introduced to him.  Or marrying his daughter.  Or kidnapping him.  Or showing up at his house and begging him to look at the offer.  Or…

Or whatever.  The idea is to think of every single way you MIGHT be able to get past the natural barriers to reaching The Dude, without censoring anything.

You take it too far, in every direction.

How, with a gun to your head, could you get the job done?

And what you realize by doing this is the secret behind some of the better Hollywood movies: There is always a plausible scenario, well within the bounds of reality, to make any plan succeed.

These scenarios may involve illegalities, or Mafia-style behavior, or taking over entire municipalities with a specially-formed militia…

… but the thing is…

… it CAN be done.

Now, again, I refuse to do illegal stuff.  I’m sure you do, too.

So most of what you come up, using this “Succeed or Die” attitude, cannot be implemented.

However, what you have done is still important:  You have proven to your brain that it CAN be done.

So you can stop pretending it’s “impossible” to reach The Dude with your sales message.

You just have to find the way to do it that doesn’t involve bloodshed or blackmail or losing sleep at night.

This kind of thinking is how Gary Halbert came up with his infamous “ethical bribe” angle.  A real bribe would have worked, but he was unwilling to do that.  So he created a goodie-crammed bonus package that was pretty much equal to a bribe in value…

… and used it to demolish all reluctance on the prospect’s part to engage in the deal.

It also led us to send Fed Ex packages to hot prospects (and to force clients to send out Fed Ex packages to their hottest leads)… a special delivery system so extravagant at the time, it never occurred to other marketers to even attempt such a tactic.

However, those packages got past the office managers, where “normal” letters, phone calls, or even personal visits wouldn’t succeed.  (Other marketers soon invented “fake” Fed Ex-looking packages to sneak past the gauntlet, cheaper.)

We also came up with ideas like sending the letter from a lawyer, making it very obvious that this was something from the lawyer’s office, personally meant for our prospect.  (Even though the actual product had nothing to do with lawyering.)

That also often slipped by the gate keepers, and made it straight to the prospect’s desk.  (The idea came out of a completely outrageous imagined scheme using a doctor as the sender, and writing “Your lab tests are enclosed”.  That was, of course, brilliantly sneaky and completely out of the question as a usable tactic… but it lead to the more practical idea of hiring a lawyer to “host” the mailing, which was perfectly fair.  We made zero suggestions anywhere that this was an actual legal matter… but it still got the letter past the gate keepers.)

As a freelancer trying to get in front of The Dude to solicit jobs, I also started using real detective tactics — “working” the receptionists and secretaries for the hobbies, birthdays, and other sundry bits of info about their boss (including juicy gossip). Intel that any good salesman can use to quickly bond, create an opening, and follow through on.

(This tactic will sound very familiar to anyone wondering why Facebook is collecting so much personal info…)

It’s all about thinking outside the box, of course.  With a loaded pistol to my head.

It’s not fair… but the world doesn’t always reward the marketer with the best product, or the best deal.

Often, personality, gifts (or bribes), and cheap psychology wins the day.

This concept of proving to your brain that something is at least possible… and almost never impossible… completely inverts the usual way people think.

Take it “too far” in every direction, and just air out all the ways it CAN be done.

Then walk it back to a plan that meets your requirements for not getting cuffed, shot, sued, or tarred-and-feathered.

As a killer salesman, you never take a “no” personally… and you don’t let it stand as the final word, either.

Just keep mulling it over. What else can you do to stand out to the right people, to win over the advocacy of important groups , to slip past obstacles, to make sure you’re playing the game on a higher level than your competition?

There is always a way to overcome an obstacle.  And often, somewhere’s between the utterly outrageous notions and the dumb-ass get-yourself-killed schemes…

… is the brainstorm that gets her done.

This is high-end salesmanship, folks.

Again, if you’re hungry for more… and if you’re finally realizing it’s time you learned the simple secrets of selling (so you can get busy with your new life of fame, wealth and the kind of giddy happiness you’re not even sure you deserve to enjoy)…

… then stop lollygagging around and check this opportunity out:

www.simplewritingsystem.com

Why?

Because, you know who you’re up against out there?

You’re up against guys who DO know classic salesmanship.  If you’re getting your clock cleaned by the competition… and you don’t like getting your clock cleaned like that…

… then this is where you muscle-up and begin to turn the tables on them.

Learn to sell.  It’s fun stuff to know, and it will make your life better at every level, in ways you cannot yet imagine.

You have any other old school selling secrets you care to share here?

Just lay it out in the comments.  We’re doing righteous work here, in these threads…

Stay frosty,

John

Thursday, 7:41pm
Reno, NV
“Please allow me to introduce myself…” (Stones, Sympathy For The Devil)

Howdy…

This is one of those lessons that arrived accidentally…

… and I had to stop and ruminate about it for a while before it made sense.

I’m lucky I learned it early, too.

It’s provided me with a home base of sanity when the chaos has reached shuddering crescendos and it was hard to think straight (let alone make snap decisions when crisis loomed).

You may find it obvious.

That’s fine.  Just don’t go thinking it’s obvious to the rest of the mean ol’ world out there… cuz it ain’t.

Here’s the story: One of my first jobs working for Gary Halbert was to fly to Detroit… and interview a guy who’d just lost 750 pounds.

Yeah, you read that right.

Gary had an idea for a diet product based on the dramatic tale of this now-slender young man.  It had to be a true story, too, cuz we found it in The National Enquirer.

I mean, it was dripping with credibility.

The photo of the kid at his heaviest made people just stare and blink.  We’re talking about filling up a king-sized bed all by your lonesome, with a little tiny face lost in folds of flesh.

The last time he’d been on a scale, they hauled him over to a machine that weighs horses.

Now, there’s more to this story, of course… including my first encounter with a Michigan ice storm (I flew out there in freakin’ December, wearing my stylish, thin, warm-for-Los-Angeles leather coat… and learned a lesson about chill factor walking out of the airport, tell you what).

Also including the side-story of how the kid, now down below 200 (yep, he really had lost all that weight) went through multiple operations to remove the excess skin, which was donated to burn clinics.

And more.  I can regale a room with the stories from that adventure for an hour.

But this isn’t a post about losing weight.

No, it’s much more important to your life than that.

Let’s continue: Gary and I began a rocky relationship with this kid for a few months, trying to film him for his product (a self-help course for people wanting to lose massive amounts of weight steadily)…

… while navigating the kid’s mounting arrogance, ego and control-freakism.

Gary and I loved to delve as deep as possible into the working personalities of people — that’s where the genius of all great advertising lies.

So we spent many an evening wondering what made this kid tick.

Finally, I hit on something.  “You know what?  Something inside him caused him to get so big in the first place.”

Stay with me.  It’s not as obvious as you might think.

Halbert’s eyes lit up.  We were on to something.

See, at first the kid seemed nice, loving and family oriented.  Poor guy had just sort of lost track of his size, and oops, got big.  Perfect spokesman for a diet product or course.

Soon, though, you could almost feel the invisible manipulation tenacles slithering around your throat as he challenged anyone who dared to question his authority and superiority on… well, everything.

Now, I’m no shrink.  But we soon realized how that kid had used his obesity to control his family to the point their entire lives were devoted to his care.  Like slaves.

And he liked it that way.  And he shed the weight when he figured out another way to keep them under his thumb (by becoming a celebrity via fat loss).

Okay.  So this kid, who at first seemed kinda sweet and loving, turned out to be harboring a nest of demons.

So what?

Well, it was one of those “a-HA!” moments where half a lifetime of puzzles suddenly were solved.

Here’s that lesson: Everybody has demons.

Everybody.

You, me, the mailman, your little love-bug honey, the butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker.

Not all the demons are malicious.  Some are fairly innocent… like a constant craving for chocolate, which can impact your desert choices at a restaurant if you’re the type of couple who likes to share.

Or like a fear of heights, which can impact your vacation plans together.

And there are common demons, which seem to inhabit most of the population: Fear of change, greed, road rage (a cousin of feeling powerless against The Man), whack-job political suspicions, predudices… and I’m sure you can add to this list easily enough yourself.

And there are demons whose main job is keep things confusing: The passive-aggressive little trolls who excel at twisting reality into forms only they recognize.

This realization — that everybody’s got demons — at first was a huge relief.

Personally, I had always assumed (for no good reason) that if it was unclear who was at fault in any given situation involving me… I should take the blame.

It just seemed wrong to assign bad motives to other people.  And I knew I had demons in my head — desires and fears and the lingering inchoate rage of barely surviving puberty and struggling in the adult world.

And I kind of enjoyed believing I lived in a world with mostly demon-free people around me.

I could handle my beasts (most of the time).

But the thought that someone else might be harboring the same impulses I had rattled me to the core.  Better to pretend there were pure souls out there in the majority.

This is COMMON, folks.

This is standard operating procedure for most human minds… to not go down that rabbit hole inside your brother’s core.

It’s why the neighbors of the serial killer next door always express surprise.  “He was a nice, quite man.  A little odd, but we never suspected anything.”  (Despite the occasional screams from the basement…)

As a marketer, you have to abandon many of the pleasant illusions that comfort everyone else.  Like believing your customers are different.  Or that you can sell lots of stuff by appealing to the “noble” virtues of your audience.

I’ve often cautioned friends who were nibbling at the edges of the entrepreneurial experience:  You will be startled, at first, by what you discover about your fellow earthlings.

The sheer volume of fear, desire, greed and sick need is unsettling.  It’s a jungle/madhouse/war zone out there.

However, once the initial shock wears off, you’ll be fine.

People are infested with demons of varying levels of nastiness.

So what?

They’re still lovable.  The world is still gorgeous.  And knowing how the universe operates — rather than pretending to know, and being wrong (like most folks) — offers you a supremely better life.

For one thing, you won’t often be fooled.  You’ll be a wicked-good salesman, too… because 99% of all selling is based on understanding the psychology of the process.

And your philosophy of how to live well can evolve (and thrive) based on reality… not wishes and dreams.

Now… what is the FIRST practical application of this advanced knowledge?

It is this: Look around…

… and figure out who’s watching your back.

Most people’s heads are crawling with demons they don’t realize or acknowledge…

… and yet they LISTEN to the gibbering.

I’ve seen this too often, both in business and in private life.

When people operate alone, or in isolated situations, they “take their own counsel”.

What they THINK they’re doing is going over the facts, weighing options, and judging the pros-and-cons objectively.

However, what they’re actually doing…

… is taking whispered advice from their demons.

And that seldom turns out well.

Much later (as the dust settles and the survivors of the decision begin to climb back on the Maslow hierarchy-of-needs staircase)…

… they’ll ask themselves “What the HELL was I thinking?”

And the answer is:  You weren’t thinking at all.

You let the demons into the control room.

Now, how does this affect you as a business owner or entrepreneur?

I’ll tell you:  Most of the biz owners I consult with are essentially isolated.

They don’t have confidants to tell their secrets to… they don’t have people who share their burdens… they can’t brainstorm ideas because no one around them understands what’s going on…

… and they sink or swim, every day, locked inside their own head.

With all those demons tugging and whispering and planting astonishingly dumb ideas in their brain.

This is, essentially, what separates the winners in the marketing world from the never-ending queue of losers.

The winners always — always – network relentlessly…

… and rely on the power of mastermind groups and coaching to stay on the cutting-edge, motivated and happy and on the best possible path at all times.

I know what it’s like to be alone out there.  I started my career completely solo, clueless and barely managing my fear (and the near constant deluge of bad ideas popping into my skull).

I used books as a crutch, and it worked to a point.  I learned a few tricks, and I used the “What would Claude Hopkins do?” philosophy when stuck.

However, as soon as I discovered like-minded souls in my Los Angeles area sandbox, I formed mastermind groups, or joined existing ones.

There is no second-best way to maximize your potential, at anything.

One professional, all alone, may be occasionally brilliant, and may develop a killer reputation.  And actually enjoy the job.

However, you team two pro’s together… especially when they’re simpatico on biz philosophy… and you get way more than just “times two” the brilliance.

No, you get a big-time multiple of brilliance.  It wasn’t just Halbert and I teaming up — it was also bringing our mutual support teams together… the people both of us already trusted for advice and criticism and brainstorming.

Our network was instantly many times larger, and amazingly more powerful.

And — best of all — we finally had someone we trusted and respected… to tell us when we were being fools, or idiots, or about to jump off a cliff.

It works like magic to put your butt on the right track, chugging steadily toward the rewards you seek.

Being alone sucks.

Teaming up rocks.  It’s the only way to fly.

This is why, when you scratch the surface of a top marketer, you discover a long history of using brainstorms and mastermind groups underneath.

I’ve always had partners or people I trust (and solicit opinions and advice from), ever since I discovered the sheer awesomeness of sharing brain-wattage with fellow travelers.

However, I’ve never officially hosted a mastermind group.

Until now.

People have been hounding me to do this for a very long time.  Certainly, whenever I’ve held Hot Seat seminars or Writing Sweatshops, the effect is very similar to a mastermind.

Except it’s just a one time thing.

A real mastermind is ongoing.  So you get to know your colleagues, and they get to know you.

And so their perspective on your plans is coming from a place of trust and familiarity, and a desire to root for your success…

… and to watch your back as you progress.

This is the great victory of a mastermind: You are no longer alone out there.

You’ve got a group of smart people invested in your success.

And you can finally tell your demons to go bugger off…

… cuz you’re getting solid input and criticism now.  The right stuff for powering your rapid ascent up the levels of success and happiness.

Okay, blatant pitch:

I’m now hosting two mastermind groups… for the first time ever in my career.

We started with one.  My biz partner Stan Dahl and I decided it was high time to bring together a great group of people committed to the mastermind concept…

… and get busy.

We let word of this mastermind slip at the recent Action Seminar… and we immediately had more people wanting in than one group could possibly handle.

(The right size for a mastermind is no more than 12… very small and tidy.  Any bigger, and it’s a seminar, not a mastermind.)

So… we split the original single group… into two groups.

Which allowed us to customize each group… so we have one that is primarily for entrepreneurs and small biz owners…

… and another one primarily for copywriters and consultants.

Stan and I have over 50 years between us as professional marketers, business builders, consultants, freelancers, and entrepreneurs.

I can say — without blushing — that we are among the “first choice” consultants hit on by marketers who understand the value of experience and current savvy.

We’re “Success Junkies”, and proud of it.  And we bring a wealth of knowledge, insider advantages, vast resources, and breathtaking skill to the table.

And we’re personally hosting each and every mastermind session of these two new groups.

I’m just letting you know about it.

We start both of them in early April… so you can still grab bragging rights for being among the very first members.

I just checked, and as of right now (while I write this) there are still a couple of spots open.

If being part of a regular mastermind group with me sounds interesting, go here to find out the details of joining:

www.CarltonCoaching.com/Platinum-Group/

I can tell you that, for the first folks who signed up, it was a no-brainer decision.

And if you’re still relying on your inner demons to watch your back as you navigate this increasingly rocky economy and biz climate…

… then maybe you should see what’s up here.

Okay, end of pitch.

I’ll see you again soon.

Stay frosty,

John

Thursday, 11:30am
Reno, NV
“You’re young, you’re drunk, you’re in bed, you have knives… shit happens.” (Angelina Jolie)

Howdy…

Did you go out and do any damage on New Year’s Eve?

Hope you got home safe, if you did.

The world turns into Crazy Town every 12/31, and you can’t projectile-puke in any direction without hitting people who seldom (or should never) drink pounding down Jagermeister and double-bourbons like they’re channeling Hunter S. Thompson in his prime.

It’s been years since I’ve ventured away from home for New Year’s…

… and even then, I only went out because I was sitting in with a band in some bar or club.

There’s a small bit of safety being on a stage while the rookies party below. Even in the sleaziest biker bar I’ve ever had the pleasure of performing in… the bad-asses never assaulted the band.

They might bust a tweaker’s head against the bar just to see what the dude looked like sprawled on the floor…

… but they wouldn’t dream of crunching a musician’s skull (no matter how much you offended his sense of anti-bourgeois anarchy).  That would harsh the party vibes.

Just make sure you keep playing kick-ass tunes.  My philosophy for playing rowdy joints was simple: Every song had to either…

1. Make people wanna shake their booty, or…

2. Cry in their beer.

So, when I put together pick-up bands, I made sure everyone had the chops and the stamina to play set after set of cranked-up rock at blistering paces… with only the occasional retreat for a slow tune (which had to rip open old heart wounds to make it on the list).

Seriously — you wanna wear out the biker crowds quickly, both physically and emotionally.

The “message to market match” here is make ‘em dance, and hit ‘em in the soft part of their gut every so often.  So they’re passionately exhausted, gasping for air, and lovin’ life.

This approach works with writing killer sales messages, too, you know.

Reading and watching videos is a passive behavior.  The data goes into the eyes, glances off the brain, and dissipates before any retention can happen.

You don’t want this when you’re trying to make a sale.

Instead, you need to wake your prospect up.  If you can get him to lean forward, and even say “No way!” or “What? This can’t be…” then you’ve goosed him into an active state…

… where the deal can go down.

Don’t get fooled by the massive views that videos on YouTube can pile up.  Scoring a chuckle, or even a ROFLMAO Tweet to buddies is NOT the same as persuading someone to haul out their wallet and fill out an order page.

How do you pull off this “wake ‘em up” tactic?

Well, you start by realizing who you’re dealing with.

And that’s why we’re going back to New Year’s Eve.

This annual excuse for Bacchanalian excess is just downright dangerous, in ways few other celebrations come close to matching.  (And I say this, having been Best Man at a few weddings that ended in drunken brawls.)

(I still have a fondness for watching loving couples in elaborate gowns and tuxedos try to cold-cock each other, while the dance floor turns into a booze-sloshed hockey rink.)

Many people should just stay away from alcohol altogether.

Most people should avoid drinking while out in public.

And everyone who values life should avoid mass celebrations where amateur drunks wanna party like Caligula.

Why?

Because you have left the world of rational thought… and entered a Twilight Zone where emotions blurp to the surface and obliterate inhibition.

Folks who can’t hold their liquor (and even veteran boozers who’ve wandered past their limit) become dangerous, unpredictable, and uncontrollable one-man soap operas.

I’ve seen hard-ass bikers crumble into sobbing messes of vulnerability, and I’ve seen shy, petite brides growl like werewolves and back down transgressors twice their size.

For a writer, this is fertile info.

For a salesman, it’s a window into the hidden world of human decision-making.

When you’re attempting to sell something, you need to move your prospect out of his comfort zone.  For most people, that zone is a zombie state of near-comatose procrastination.

You can’t close.  You may get them to agree that, sure, what you’ve got there sure seems like a great deal… but you won’t close the sale.

Think about this from a personal perspective:  It can actually hurt your brain to make a decision that involves money.

Unless…

Unless you slip into that warm and fuzzy irrational state where you can shrug off fear and anxiety and all those troubling doubts…

… and just say “What the hell” and slam your money on the table.

Basically, as a salesman, you’re hosting a little party between you and your prospect.

You’re not literally plying him with drink… but you are very much creating an alternative state of consciousness where the stubborn reluctance of a dude deep in his comfort zone gives way to the uninhibited decision-maker hiding deep within.

Now, I am NOT recommending you immediately begin a life of bar-hopping and booze-swilling, in the hope of becoming a better salesman.

You don’t even need a drop of alcohol to pass your lips to understand the lesson here.

You just need to stop and consider the way the human mind can fool a careless observer.  If you spend your entire day around sober, rational people who never let their guard down, you’re going to be lulled into thinking your sales message needs to appeal to our higher sense of reason and empirical data-crunching.

And it’s just not so.

The old rule of thumb (which I learned from incredibly savvy street-wise sales experts): You pitch on reason, but you close on emotion.

So you’ve got to pay attention to the emotional world most people ignore, pretend doesn’t exist, or hide.

That’s the lesson from Amateur Drunk Night.  Folks aren’t suddenly being controlled by outside forces that make them dance crazy, laugh too loud, and start fights with close friends.

Nope.  That’s just another part of their being, burbling to the surface on a raft of booze.

Let the rest of the business world fantasize about a race of reasonable, astute and clear-headed prospects.

Your inside track:  We’re actually a tribe of unpredictable, erratic, mush-brained emotional lunatics.

We just keep a tight lid on it, most of the time.

Side Note #1: Learning these lessons about human nature does NOT turn you into a snarling cynic.

Quite the opposite.  I find that the more I learn about my fellow travelers, the more I love ‘em all.

We’re all sharing this wild, amazing ride… on a planet rippling with beauty, horror, pleasure and pain…

… and none of us have an advantage in living well that can’t be learned by everyone else.

The business owner who learns how to sell, and puts what they learn into action, is just a little more awake, and a little more involved in the realities of existence.

It can be startling, at first, to realize how weird we all are… but after that initial shock of awareness, you really wouldn’t want it any other way.

Most of the world sleepwalks through their day.   They are reactive, not proactive.  (In other words, stuff happens to them.  They don’t initiate much action.)

As a salesman, you have to wake up and take on more responsibility.

And the good ones live deep, play hard, and love without inhibition.  You can’t do all that while snoozing.

Side Note #2: I was introduced to Tony Robbins over 20 years ago… when, after a night out partying, I became entranced by his infomercial on the tube.

I kept my guard down, and just went with the rising sense of “gotta have it” he triggered in my gut.  And I bought his tapes.  (Yeah, that’s how long ago it was — he was selling cassette tapes of his course.)

I don’t know how many folks who buy from late-night infomercials are wasted, but I don’t think I would have gone through with the purchase if I hadn’t been a little tipsy.  (This was back in my youthful days of improper behavior.  I’m better now, thanks.)

Nevertheless, I was glad I ordered, and happy when the package arrived.  Got a lot out of the experience, and was introduced to new psychological discoveries through those tapes.

Fast-forward to two weeks ago: I finally met Tony, down in San Diego, when he interviewed me for his Money Masters series.  (Other experts in the series include John Reese, Frank Kern, Russell Brunson, Dean Jackson and other notables from the sizzling online marketing world.)

He thought it was hilarious when I told him this story.  And it got us talking about the crossroads of passion, emotion and decision.

Tony understands what makes people tick.  Going deep with that kind of knowledge is the key to living large.

It was a real treat to discuss such heady intellectual philosophies with a renowned master of observation.

(This is also what I most appreciate about Zen — a complete acceptance of the entire range of human weirdness, without judgment or idealism.  To understand us is to love us.)

Again: I’m not recommending you start drinking at dive bars.

Just start registering what you observe in your fellow man… in all the wonderful and frightening variations we reveal.

Okay?

Okay.

Stay frosty,

John

Saturday, 2:48pm
Tampa, FL
“Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean?” (Monty Python)

Howdy…

Special treat today on the blog.

Another guest post by our good friend, colleague and former stand-up comic (before his new career as killer copywriter), Kevin Rogers.

(Kevin is also the head writer for my Stable O’ Copywriters project, where you can find a recommended freelancer who meets my strict standards of professionalism — and who has my ear for consultations: www.carlton-copywriting.com.)

This cat is funny.  And every time Kevin and I hang out, I’m reminded of two things:

1. Nearly every top marketer and writer I know personally… has a shockingly-acute high-end sense of humor. (This explains the comraderie you see among the best in the biz.  We make each other laugh.)

2. And… there are awesomely valuable insights to life and success available in studying lessons in tales from the “vice squad”. (Meaning, that part of living well which includes hanging out, challenging the boundaries of sobriety, and squandering time laughing as hard as you can for as long as you can.)

Being funny won’t make you smarter.  And it doesn’t bestow an automatic deeper understanding of human behavior.

However… if you pay attention… you will discover insights and rules for living well that are simply not available to uptight folks.

That’s why I’ve asked Kevin to chime in again here.  This is his third guest post.  (The only other writer to have guest-posted here is my buddy David Garfinkel.)

So, without further ado… here’s Kevin.

Don’t try to read this while drinking carbonated beverages — it’s hell spitting it out through your nose while guffawing.

Take it, Kevin…

[applause]

Hey, great to be here… let’s here it again for John Carlton folks… the only blogger in history to spark a 600 comment riot with a psychological Dixie cup riddle.

Let him know you love him, everyone… John Carlton.

Okay. No more stand-up comedy/copywriting anecdotes for this post.

Today I want to discuss something much more relevant to all serious marketers: Booze.

Not drinking, necessarily…

… but rather the art of ordering a cocktail.

You can tell a lot about someone by the way they order a drink… and there’s a great marketing lesson in that simple act that could be the “a-Ha!” moment of a lifetime.

First, a quick back-story…

Towards the end of my comedy career, when road life had finally reduced itself into a sappy Bob Seger song, I realized it was finally time to go legit (gasp!)…

… and so began my awkward re-entry to the great American workplace.

I was almost 30… and after a decade of stand-up, the only skills I could fudge on a resume were “long distance driving” and “heckler control”.

So, unless I wanted a new career as road manager for, say, a fledgling white ska band from Wisconsin, it was clear I would need to get me some education.

As luck would have it, The ABC Bartending School in Mount Prospect, Illinois was just about to kick off its summer session.  I dusted off my academic chops, dove in, and passed with flying colors.

A few happy coincidences later, I was manning the afternoon shift at one of the oldest taverns in Chicago. (By the way, first rule of tending a real bar: Never admit you graduated from bartending school.  You’ll get tagged as an elitist snob.)

This place had been slinging booze across the same soggy block of dead oak since before the days of Prohibition (during which they promptly began mixing bathtub gin and became a gangster-haven speakeasy).

The owner was a tough-as-nails but senile old broad named Marge. Every night she would stalk the bar like Mae West in silk pajamas with wild, silver bed-hair… chain-smoking Pall Malls that always seemed to be dangling two-inch ashes.

Marge lived above the tavern in a cluttered apartment reeking of spoiled fish and Ben Gay lotion, with a feisty parrot named “Billy” who cursed like a sailor and attacked my head every time I entered the room (usually to bring Marge cigarettes and remind her not to light them off the stove burner).

“Remember last time, Marge, when you forgot to turn off the burner and the firemen had to come?”

“Are they here now?”

“No Marge. Not right now.”

“Go down and buy them a drink on me.”

“Sure, Marge.”

And, fighting off Billy (as he squawked“Eat shit!” in a Kamikaze dive for my cowlick), I would retreat to the laboratory of marketing wisdom behind the bar downstairs.

Sell Like A Bartender,
Serve Like a Waitress.

Slinging cocktails at Marge’s really was an excellent introduction into the world of street-level selling.

Sure, there’s plenty of sales tactics in play during a live comedy performance…

… but tending bar is a pure closer’s game. (Which is why the gig pays less than the minimum wage.)

So, here is my Great Direct Response Lesson from the world of “saloon commerce”.  It lies in the stark difference between selling like a bartender… or serving like a waitress.

The attitudes a waitress and bartender bring to the sale are polar opposites for this simple reason: As a bartender, people come to you…

… while, as a waitress, you must go to them.

Important stuff here.  Listen up.

Let’s look at a typical cast of prospects for your business… as if they were patrons in a saloon.

Two thirsty patrons walk into a club. One approaches the bar, ready to buy… while the other grabs a seat at a table and looks for the waitress.

With that simple act, they have qualified themselves in very different ways.

When a prospect sits at a table, they are looking for guidance. They need more info. They want to be led, perhaps intellectually coddled, and certainly paid attention to.

So, it’s the waitress’s (or waiter’s) job to arrive at their table quickly, offer up a big friendly smile, get their order and help ‘em feel they’ll be well taken care of.  Their happiness is her responsibility.

The other guy, who headed straight for the bar?  He’s ready to buy.  He’s being pro-active, rather than re-active.

An experienced bartender controls a shocking level of power. If the joint is crowded, he has total discretion over who gets served, in what order. So, it’s up to the patron to show the bartender they are worthy of his attention.

They should have money in hand and a cool, casual look that says: I know exactly what I’m ordering.

(If you’ve ever felt ignored by a harried bartender in a busy bar… it’s because you looked confused or kept your cash hidden in your pocket.  We have little time to babysit rookie drunks.)

It’s a good lesson, for any marketer.  There will always be these two wildly different types of prospect on your list.

The ones who wander over to tables to avoid the frenzy are looking for a very specific kind of service. They include the tire-kickers on your list — those annoying freebie-seekers who want to see how well you can serve them before they’ll make up their minds about you — as well as folks who will become life-time buyers.

However, customer service ranks high on their hierarchy of needs.  They wanna shop, they wanna interact.

Their money’s good… but they require patient attention.

Then there are the eager buyers. They elbow their way through the crowded bar, raise cash in the air, shout their order and tip well.

Low maintenance, independent, no-BS types with money to spend, and a definite goal in mind.

So, our job as marketers is to first get as many people into the place as possible…

… and then inspire as many as we can to crowd the bar and waive cash at us. That is the relationship you create with the right marketing strategy and top-shelf copy.

Eager buyers are your best customers, not just because they are comfortable spending money…

… but because they’re also the most likely to put your material to good use. Which leads to them achieving high-end results and then spreading the word.

Once your action-oriented, cash-in-hand buyers are all happily sipping their cocktails… it’s time to grab a tray and appease the higher-maintenance table sitters.

You do this by making sure you provide every prospect on your list the high-value content they need to get involved.

The main rule is to remember they are human — not just a pile of data. They breathe, and think and pay closer attention than you might think.

Talk to them like a good bartender would… once the crowd thins out and shouts have turned to mellow tones.

Listen to their problems. Offer wisdom without condescending. Attend to their needs patiently and expertly.  Let them find their best selves through you.

And whatever you do… don’t let that damn parrot into the bar. Nothing good is going to happen once he gets riled up.

Hey, you’ve been great. Enjoy Carrot Top!

Kevin

Saturday, 8:53pm
Reno, NV
“It’s the end of the world as we know, and I feel fine…” (REM)

Howdy…

Nice big glob of seemingly-nasty news hit the grid this week.

The FTC (brrr, even the name causes Halloween-style chills, doesn’t it) fired a shot across the bow of the good ship Capitalism with their “final guidelines governing endorsements and testimonials”.

In case you’ve been in a coma or something, here’s the Fed-sponsored link:

http://www.ftc.gov/opa/2009/10/endortest.shtm

What immediately followed was a lot of hair-on-fire screaming and rending of clothes by both online and offline business owners who use testimonials or endorsements in their marketing.

It was kinda fun to watch, actually.

A lot of entrepreneurs, I’ve noticed over the decades, are skittish enough already about the whole “provide a product to customers in exchange for money” model of doing business.

They’re like “Are you sure we can do this?  Actually accept moolah just for giving people this thing of value we created?”

It’s understandable to be a little paranoid.  Business is part of the grown-up world, all full of consequences and responsibilities and risks…

… as well as the totally uncool embarrassment of finally getting serious about the very adult requirement of applying salesmanship to your excellent marketing adventure.

So, when any of the federal “alphabet agencies” get frisky with new rules, the entrepreneurial world goes bonkers.

Now, I’m not a lawyer.

And I’m not gonna offer anyone legal advice here.  You do what you think is best.  You’re the only one who can correctly judge your own levels of raw paranoia against reality.

However… here is (more or less) what I shared with the folks now embroiled in the Simple Writing System mentoring program (which is steaming full-throttle into it’s second week).

I thought you might want to hear a less-hysterical side to this story:

Ahem.

First, relax.

Every detail of this fresh ruling is still very vague.

The panic around this news is uncalled for. The Feds are not going to suddenly load up their compliance forces with jack-booted thugs and go after entrepreneurs. Their focus is and always has been the large scofflaws. They will follow the money. (Large corporations like Jenny Craig and Subway have alerted their teams of lawyers.)

Yes, the “possible ramifications” of the ruling are a Conspiracy Theorist’s wet dream. Then again, so is every other ruling the FTC has ever put out.

The diet industry — which is used as the most common example when discussing this ruling — needs periodical policing.

However, the first time a regulator tries to define the idea of “typical” results, they are in for a mind-bending exercise in irrational thinking.  What, for example, is a typical dieter?  Someone who needs to lose 15 pounds?  Fifty pounds?  A hundred?

How do you figure it out?  There are three forms of statistical averages — mean, mode and medium.  Each can be a wildly different number.

The Feds will not find an ally among mathematicians or scientists while trying to define “typical”.

Nor will they find an ally in the Constitution… where, last time I looked, there was still a guarantee of free speech.

Of course, what the Feds are responding to are the egregious abuses of endorsements and testimonials.  And God knows, there are liars and thieves and scoundrels in the business community who need to be outed and punished for polluting the joint with their scammy ways.

And it would make the Feds’ job oh-so-much easier if everyone would just stop… selling stuff… by providing context and examples that help prospects decide if they want to participate or not.

You know — all that advertising voodoo that fuels the engines of capitalism.

Meanwhile, over at the FBI, they’re hoping that criminals will stop murdering and plotting and stuff… because it’s really hard to keep order when people insist on being evil.

Also, the Oakland Raiders would like the rest of the NFL to stop picking on them.  Maybe let ‘em win a freakin’ game or something already…

Look — no marketer is forced to use testimonials.

Nevertheless — and regardless of what you may have read in various other blogs — they remain powerful tools for anyone in business. (In fact, let’s hope, real hard, that your competition gets so scared that they never use testimonials again in any way, shape or form.)

And, anyway… even if you do decide to never use a testimonial, you still should know how to collect them, what they should look like, and how to communicate with happy customers who want to say nice things about you.

It’s still the best kind of feedback you can get about your business.

It’s… oh, what’s that phrase… oh yeah: Word of mouth.  A thumb’s up from a satisfied customer.

Again, I’m not a lawyer.  Haven’t talked with one about the ramifications of this ruling (which is not, by the way, an actual “law”, but a recommendation).

Here’s some common sense, anyway: Don’t compensate people for giving you a testimonial, and say so in your ad.  (And if your stuff is so crappy that you have to pay people to say something nice about it… then create better stuff.)

If you get compensation for touting a product on your blog (which appears to be the crux of the ruling, despite the “deeper” readings by the more paranoid among us), come clean on that.  No biggie.

If you’re unsure about anything, pay attention over the next couple of months.

This ruling goes “official” December 1… and between now and then, there will be a lot of discussion about it.  (Is Jared of Subway out of a job?  And, since most diets fail most of the time… because people don’t follow them… will every diet book ever published in history have to be amended to reflect that fact that anyone who actually lost weight is a freak of nature?)

(Will the Home Shopping Network be forced to stop touting celebrity make-over programs?)

(Will any advertiser, ever, be allowed to show people in their ads… for fear that any implication of “typical” is not breached?)

Folks, this kind of hysteria shows up every few years in advertising.

Twenty years ago, for example, the Feds ordered magazines to put a big “Advertisement” slug on top of every long-copy ad run in the publication.

You know… so no one would get confused.  We don’t want anybody’s head exploding because they accidentally read an ad in Cosmo, thinking it was a real article.

Marketers flipped out… until they realized that putting the slug on top of their ads didn’t affect results (and sometimes actually INCREASED sales).  (Oh, the irony.)

The diet industry — which, by the way, I have refused to get involved with as a freelancer for over a decade now — has been subject to endless “you can’t do that” rulings on showing people’s before-and-after tales…

… and in the end, the smart marketers comply, and do and say everything the rulings demand…

… and life (and profit) goes on.

I’m not saying this ruling is something to ignore completely.

We’ll have to see how it plays out in reality… meaning, how the Feds actually decide to follow up, and how any actual enforcement (which clearly appears to violate the Constitutional protections of free speech) manifests itself.

It’s worth a long discussion.

I’m all for hampering the scam artists out there.  (Just to be clear:  If you’re an unethical marketer, I hope you rot in Hell.  After getting your head handed to you here on Earth.)

However, trying to re-invent capitalism by kicking it in the balls is not the way to go about it.

Again… this vague, extremely ambiguous ruling (not a law) won’t go into effect until December 1st, and there will be much input from established businesses between now and then.

The lawyers are loving it.  Let the paranoia ooze and scorch!

This is not, however, the end of capitalism as we know it. Nor are testimonials going away. (Again, pray that your competition stops using them, though.)

Let’s see what other shoes drop over the next few weeks, shall we?

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. And yes, we get affiliate commissions from any sale resulting from someone clicking on any of the banners on this blog.

It’s called marketing, folks.

UPDATE: The esteemed New York Times weighs in on this issue:  http://www.nytimes.com/2009/10/13/opinion/13tue2.html?_r=1&ref=opinion

Thursday, 12:15pm
Reno, NV
“It’s too hard.  You’ll never figure it out.” (What the first copywriter I ever met told me about writing ads.)

Howdy…

I’m going to tell you about two promises here.

The stories behind them may help you chart out the rest of your life… as they did mine.

Harken:

Promise #1:

The above quote (”It’s too hard.  You’ll never figure it out.”) are the exact words that a professional copywriter said to me when I innocently asked for advice.

They are burned into my cerebral cortex, because it was one of the first times I had ever nurtured a small ember of actual hope about my future in business…

… and she crushed it like a bug.

All I’d wanted from her was a smidgen of advice. Maybe point me in the right direction.  Or offer a small word of encouragement.

I was lost at the time.  Trapped in the drudgery of a dead-end J.O.B. that sucked big-time.

And I was genuinely clueless about the process of writing anything for business.  I’d never met a real copywriter before, and was very interested in finding out more.

I didn’t even know what the word “mentor” meant at the time… but I suppose I would have squirmed with joy if she had said, instead, something like “Let me help you learn how to do this.”

Still, she did me a HUGE favor by being such a miserable, hateful bitch.

As I stood at her desk, burning with shame for having asked for something and been so brutally refused…

… I promised myself that I would prove her wrong.

And I used that promise as motivation whenever I needed some extra oomph in the next year or so, as I figured out — on my own, without help from anyone — how to write killer sales messages.

So I owe her one.  She did me a proper by igniting my until-then-dormant ability to Do It Myself.  Literally with a vengeance.

I launched my solo career as a freelance writer entirely on my own.  I took the Do It Yourself ethic and ran with it…

… and 25 years later, I don’t regret a single moment of the journey.  Even though long stretches of it were soul-shaking scary while I hacked my way through the wilderness of Cluelessness into the light.

Promise #2:

I made another promise to myself soon after that little episode with the Hateful Bitch.

When it became glaringly evident that I wasn’t going to get any kind of help from anyone in my quest for success…

… I stumbled onto the Big Damn Secret of how to do it all on my own.

Actually, it’s not much of a secret, but it remains under-utilized by folks who could be changing their lives with it.

The secret: I just got busy setting goals… and going after them like a bulldog chasing a squirrel.

I figured out how to sell stuff, and do it through writing, step by step.

And I took notes along the way.

Why did I take notes?

Because I’d made another promise: When (not “if”) I made it as a professional creator of ads that sold massive quantities of stuff…

… I would bend over backwards helping others to make it, too.

And I’d help them do it much more simply, and much easier, than I did.

Those notes I took during the Wilderness Years — when I was learning the ropes of advertising and salesmanship rung by rung — turned me into a flat-out great teacher.

Because I analyzed everything I learned.  Dissected information… ran it through my internal Bullshit Detector… tested ideas and tactics in the real world…

… and worked like a madman to discover the techniques and tactics that actually persuaded prospects to take action and buy stuff.

So, when I started teaching others, I had a couple of decades worth of incredible notes to use as instructional material.

I can easily knock years off your quest to learn the inside secrets of advertising and marketing.  I know all the dark alleys to avoid, and I know all the shortcuts around the tedious nonsense.

I take my promises very, very seriously.

Doing so brought me out of my prior existence as a Clueless Slacker, and launched me into a prime seat at The Feast Of Life (where happiness, fame and wealth await you).

If I have taught you anything over the 5 years of this blog… or if you have heard of my prowess as a teacher from anyone else…

… it’s because I walk the walk.

Here’s why this is so important to the Rest Of Your Life: During my journey, I used both the Do It Yourself method…

… and the Mentoring method.

I know that both work.

I always recommend mentoring first.  If you have an opportunity to be taken in by someone with the chops you wish to learn… do so.

I worked for Jay Abraham for years, for free.  In exchange for getting to hang around his offices, and learn from him.

I met Gary Halbert through Jay.  And turned away from millions as an up-and-coming copywriter for the Big Mailers, in order to learn from the Master himself.  Personally, one-on-one, over a couple of years of hard-core mentoring.

I “delayed” earning my fortune, because I intuitively suspected (correctly, it turned out) that — as moderately successful as I was when I met Gary — I still had much more to learn in my quest to get as good as possible.

So mentoring paid off for me.

As did the Do It Yourself method.

What’s this got to do with you?

Everything… if you’ve been paying attention to what I’ve been offering folks over the past week or so.

The Simple Writing System is built on the notes I took during my career.  It’s everything I know about writing, and selling, and marketing at the highest level of efficiency and power.

For anyone who wants to learn how to write kick-ass sales messages… for ads, for websites, for email campaigns, for video scripts, for speeches, for anything and everything necessary to succeed in business…

… the Simple Writing System is your ticket.

Now, there are two ways to indulge here.

First:  We’ve put together a faculty of pro writers to help me mentor students personally.  One-on-one, personally customized, hands-on mentoring with a pro.

It’s the program I wish had been available back when I started out.  I would have crawled through broken glass to get involved with this kind of coaching — from a proven professional, who watched my back as I learned.

However…

… the mentoring program is now closed.  All the available public spots have been snapped up.  She’s full up.

Nevertheless…

Second:  The Do It Yourself option is still available.

In fact, it’s the perfect option for anyone who prefers to do it themselves, without the time and cost of adding a mentor to the mix.

Again — I always recommend mentoring, when it’s possible.

However, the next-best-thing is to do it yourself.

The Simple Writing System, as I created it, is tailored for exactly this kind of learning.  In this program, I teach you everything I know… in a way that has been proven (over decades of trial and error) to help people “get it” quickly.

It’s my pride and joy.  I’m hanging my hat on this system, and I’ve lovingly and patiently molded it into a course that really can transform your ability to persuade, and sell, with writing.

So… if the time-boxed limitations or the cost of the mentoring option made you hesitate to get involved in the coaching program we created…

… or if you’re just a rebel at heart, and (like me when I started out) want to do it yourself…

… we’ve just released an option that suits you perfectly.

To get the details, go here:

www.simplewritingsystem.com

I understand… better than almost anyone else you’re going to meet in your journey to find your own success… how doing it yourself and being mentored offer different paths to the same destination.

The key is to get moving.

If you dithered about getting into the now-closed mentoring program… or if you didn’t find out about it in time to grab a spot… you now have before you another option.

Which can effectively and quickly ignite your transformation into the Killer Marketer you need to become to reach your goals and attain your dreams.

The main thing is… choose to make today the day you begin your transformation.

Get moving.  See what’s available.

You don’t have to choose the Simple Writing System.  If you believe you have other options out there — either mentors to woo, or courses to dive into — then get after them.

I wasted half my life wondering how to even take the first step toward The Feast.  (I was in my early thirties when I finally started my career.)

You know it’s time to choose when that hunger inside you starts burning.  You cannot wait for magic.  You cannot delay just because you’re scared.  (Learning the first few steps to take, in fact, obliterates fear better than any other tactic you’ll ever find.)

You have no excuse, now, if you’ve been telling yourself you’re waiting for the “right opportunity”.  I’ve just laid the most rational, easy, and affordable opportunity at your feet.

Just see what’s up:

www.simplewritingsystem.com

And come back here next week.  I’ve got a back-log of free advice and goodies to share with you.

It’ll all go excellently with your evolving transformation to Killer Marketer.

Stay frosty,

John Carlton

P.S. Yeah, that’s me in the photo.

Probably 18 months into my solo career… doing everything myself, from a cramped desk in a cramped bedroom in a cramped apartment near the beach in LA.

The mess on that desk (and taped to the wall) includes many of the early notes I was obsessively taking while learning how to write copy that brought in results.

Proof, here, that I was once not only young, but quite handsome, wouldn’t you say?

No?  Well, I was young, at any rate…

Sunday, 7:57pm
Reno, NV
“It’s alive!” (Baron Von Frankenstein, kickstarting the Monster)

Howdy…

We’ve just fired up the Simple Writing System blog (www.simplewritingsystem.com/blog)…

… which means a stunning (and unprecedented) pile of free tools, tactics, advice and insight can be yours…

… just for the grabbing.

This is an all-out assault on reason and logic.  We’re just GIVING AWAY stuff that — not too long ago — would have cost you a pretty penny just to get a quick glimpse of.

We’ve created a beast here, and it’s name is FREE.

Here’s just a small taste of what’s piling up over there (that you’re missing out on if you haven’t signed in):

• A free swipe file of “home run” ads I’ve written (which few folks outside the target markets have ever seen)… can be in your tool kit tonight.  This swipe file, alone, is causing hearts to skip a beat among marketers and freelance writers who love to rip juicy headlines and sales angles from proven ads.  (Removes any guesswork on who/what to rip.)

• A short (but frightenly powerful) series of special reports channeling the best “how to make the sale” secrets I’ve ever used.  (I used to keep this stuff classified, only bringing it out during high-paid consultations… and here we are giving it away.)

• The actual video (torn directly from the masters hidden in Frank’s inner sanctum) of my “How to persuade, influence and sell the shit out of anything… using the simplest stories you can create” presentation at Mass Control.

What?  You didn’t see that presentation?

It’s marketing theater at its finest… and gives away the storytelling techniques that have earned me a fortune (seriously revealed for the first time in this wacky presentation that held the crowd in thrall).

And it’s free… at least for a few days… at www.simplewritingsystem.com/blog.

More…

• Have you heard the teleclass Ed Dale and I just did… about using sneaky social media tactics to overthrow your niche and capture total, unassailable “leadership positioning”… using only Twitter?

Dude — it’s FREE right now over there.  And coming up:

• Legendary adman Joe Sugarman actually punk’d me during a sizzling interview (which reveals his BEST sales-exploding secrets).  Oh, we’re laughing about it now, but it left me speechless, twisting in the wind last week when it happened.  (And I’m never speechless.  Joe is just that good.)

These are classic salesmanship secrets now lost, overlooked and ignored by most marketers…

… which is a HUGE advantage to you (IF you have the sense to start using them yourself).

• Wait a minute… you haven’t heard of James Schramko yet?

Are you living in a cave?  This guy rocketed (that’s the right word, too) from total obscurity… not even a year ago…

… to the very top of the online  money-making wizards pile.  Respect, fame, wealth and a well-earned rabid fan-base siphoning off his deep knowledge.

Best part: He took detailed notes during his climb to fame and wealth (as a rookie!)… and this webinar we’ve got is the first time he’s shared the really good insider stuff.

And it free!

What are you doing here?  Get over to www.simplewritingsystem.com/blog and grab this cornucopia of give-away goodies now.

Again: We’re only leaving access to the reports, the webinars, the videos and everything else…

… for a few days.

Then: Ffffft.

Gone.

(Big hint: One major reason James was able to zoom to the top… was his obsession with never missing an opportunity to grab the really good info whenever, and however, it became available.)

Here… it’s all free.

More:

• We reveal the next logical (and most lucrative) big step for any smart online marketer to make as the economy continues to morph.

Have you ever wanted to be one of those people who get advance notice on hot incoming trends?  Well, here ya go.

Colette Marshall (the queen of  “Product Sourcing”) spills everything you need to know in the free webinar we’re about to post.

• And get this: Blogmeister Extraordinare Yaro Starak reveals the secrets of living lavishly from a 2-hour workday… using nothing but a blog and some specific email tactics.  (It took him years to figure this out… and he just lays out the 7 simple steps, right here in a cool-as-heck webinar you can own for nothing.)

And how about this:  Just hearing someone’s blah-blah-blah story on striking it rich using a certain tactic is boring… and useless to you.

Unless you have access to the actual “case studies” outlining what was done, and what happened to generate the breakthroughs and hot results.

Well, guess what?

Yep.  Posted for free at www.simplewritingsystem.com/blog.

Look.  I could go on and on just describing the sheer awesomeness of what we’re giving away.

But you can just find out for yourself with a quick click on the link.

And I’m gonna suggest you do exactly that…

… right now.

www.simplewritingsystem.com/blog

I have poured massive quantities of energy, brain-power and time into creating this pile o’ goodies for you.  It took weeks of exhausting work.

I did it just to blow people away.

And it’s all there… for free.

Stop reading.

Go over there now.

This is life-changing stuff.

Stay frosty,

John Carlton

Monday, 9:21pm
Reno, NV
“Stop sniveling…” (Pretenders, “Tatooed Love Boys”)

Howdy…

Quick note here for those in need.

I’ve been almost completely retired from freelancing for some time now.  I still indulge a few long-time clients…

… but I haven’t taken on a new gig in over a year.

I’m devoting my time to teaching, and writing stuff for myself.

This makes me happy.

But it bums out business owners and entrepreneurs in a major way.  Because, often, someone will realize they need copy written…

… and they know, deep down, that I’m the guy who needs to write it to squeeze out max results…

… and… here’s the sad part…  they cannot bribe, cajole, threaten or offer me enough money to come out of this semi-retirement to do the gig.

Man, that’s frustrating.

Here’s the good news, though: I can now offer you… the next best thing.

If you need a writer who meets my strict, Operation MoneySuck, no-BS-allowed requirements for professionalism and quality…

… I now have a small “stable” full of them.

And we’ve just released a simple program that gives you immediate access.

These are professional writers who I have either trained and guided to expert status (over a period of years)…

… or who I have hired myself to do mission-critical work in my own business.

There aren’t many of them.

In my 25 years in advertising and marketing… I have only come across a handful of writers who meet (or exceed) the admittedly-brutal requirements I demand from myself, or from any writer I would work with.

This includes having the chops to guide you to the best possible solution for whatever problem you’re up against…

… to write outrageously-excellent copy that persuades and sells like crazy…

… and to meet all deadlines. (This is critical for any biz owner under a time crunch… and way too many freelancers out there can’t meet a deadline to save their lives.)

All while bringing to the table vast hands-on experience with all kinds of markets… in all kinds of economic conditions… both online and offline.

These are, in my honest opinion, the hottest freelancers available right now.

Best part: They all love working with entrepreneurs and small business owners… something a lot of the more famous writers out there refuse to do anymore.  (Or, like me, have retired from doing.)

So…

… if you’re in the market for a killer writer…

… who has been vetted by me, who has worked with me, and who gets my “thumbs up” for being a trusted veteran professional who can get the job done, on time, within your budget…

… then hurry over to this site:

http://www.carlton-copywriting.com

You’ll get all the details you need there.

And, if you’re interesting in actually talking with a writer, it’s easy to arrange…

… and you can start the simple, fast process right there on the site.

Warning: I cannot over-emphasize how FEW writers are in this stable.

It’s literally a handful.

I’ve plowed through a mob of writers over the years, passing on the vast majority…

… and I’m only allowing this program to go forward because I have finally found enough scribes I can vouch for to justify this announcement.

If you’re ready to talk to writers…

… and you want to be sure you’re talking to one who meets my strict requirements for professionalism and getting the job done right…

… then get over there now.

As you can imagine, this small band of murderously-good pro’s will book up quickly.

To see if this program is right for your situation, just follow the simple directions on the site.

There is no obligation just for talking to any of the writers, of course.

But we’ve got this process down pretty pat… and if your situation is right for one of these writers…

… well, this could be the happiest day of your life.

Cuz once you hook up with a good writer, you can get your biz on the fast track… and jam the pedal to the metal.

It’s a good time to check the site out, too… because we haven’t yet announced this program to the general market.

Right now, it’s still just you and us.

See you over there.

Stay frosty,

John

Sunday, 7:36pm
Reno, NV
“A thief believes everybody steals.” (E.W. Howe)

Howdy…

For those of you bugging me about the next Quiz…

… it’s coming, it’s coming.

Soon.

Tonight, though, I’ve gotta get something off my chest.

And so, a Rant.  By little Johnny Carlton:

Ahem.

There seems to be a parasite bug infecting the brains of many marketers out there.

Let’s call this bug… “Theft“.

It’s not going away anytime soon.

In fact, the very word has been mutating for a long time now… so that what would have easily been labeled “stealing” in the bad-old pre-Web days…

… is now considered smart and brave and even ethical.

Which means that the word “ethical” has also required some definition surgery, as well.

Okay, I gotta take part of all that back, right off the top.  (Note:  Rants often take sudden swerving turns like this.  Just relax and go with it.  You’ll be rewarded for your patience soon…)

This attitude — that taking something of value from someone else is not necessarily “wrong”, and may even be completely cool – has shown its ugly head before in my lifetime.

Remember Woodstock?

Forget about all the feelings brought up by that festival.  Boomer hippies assign the event iconic holiness, while later generations mock what they see as hypocritical bullshit from their elders.

Me? Still love the movie.  In fact, every year or so I line up “Monterey”, “Don’t Look Back” — Dylan’s ‘64 tour of England — “Woodstock”, “Isle of Wight Festival” — the ‘70 edition — and “Gimme Shelter”.

It’s a mini-film festival covering exactly 6 years — 1964 to 1970 — where things changed oh-so-dramatically in the world.  Innocence to grim chaos, told through the soundtrack of the time.  Lovely unintended documentary, these films…

It would have been great if the “spirit” of peace and love really had taken over the universe, and we all evolved into a groovy mind-meld of far-out angelic transmogrification.

Didn’t happen, of course.

The uncritical idealism of the time turned me, for example, away from the entire philosophy of idealism.  I loathe idealism now.  It’s counter-productive and rots minds.

And, as an older-and-maybe-wiser business owner, the most striking part of all these movies for me — aside from the music, which still astounds — is the way the “average” person saw no reason why everything shouldn’t be “free”.

Woodstock became a free concert because of shit-poor planning and bad fences.  They were forced to do it.

The bands were not consulted.  Nor were they happy about it.

And if you know the story, you know that the producers of the concert refused to declare bankruptcy, and eventually paid all their bills (though it took the organization many years to accomplish this task).

That’s old school.  Take your lumps, clean up your mess, and fulfill your obligations.

One year later, at the first Isle of Wight festival, a mob of angry socialist counter-culture types harshed everyone’s mellow by demanding that this concert be “free”, too.

Through a slo-mo riot.

It’s free, or we’ll kill you.

By the time the Stones offered a free concert at Altamont (documented in “Gimme Shelter”), things just got completely out of hand.

While the music still shines, the Isle of Wight film captures the chaos and confusion from the bands’ perspective: What?  Somebody’s gotta pay for putting this thing on, getting us here, and providing electricity for my gee-tar and Keith’s Bee-Three.

You think this shit all happens by magic?

I find this unresolved battle between clueless people waning a free lunch… and the practical folks who understand how lunches actually get made… fascinating.

Folks (including many biz owners) have been getting confused about capitalism since the first trade of something-for-something between cave men, lo, those many eons ago.

It’s particularly gnarly when prosperity collides with reality.

For example: I was a vandal as a kid.  Not proud of it, just saying.

I had no idea who erected the streetlights, or who ran the trains chugging along the tracks behind our house.  Stuff just happened, because that’s the way the post-war world operated.

So, when we took out the streetlight bulbs with BB guns, or derailed the noon Southern Pacific with a pile of railroad ties… there was no connection in our feeble brains about what consequences we were igniting.

We were bulls in the china shop.

Education was provided “free” to me, growing up.  Water came out of the tap, magically.  And, as far I could think it through, free.  Same with the radio, the TV, the mail, all all the other stuff that contributed to this “free” life for me.

It was a rude awakening to discover that, to buy a car and keep the tank full so I could take Suzie to the Who concert, I needed to generate “money” from a “job” to grease the machine of capitalism.

“Free” was so much more fun.

The World Wide Web was created by an unholy alliance of the Armed Forces and elite academia… both of which operated largely outside the demands of capitalism.   (Grants and Congressional budgets are not equal to a paycheck from a job.)

So the concept of “free” took root easily.

If you were among the early adopters of Web marketing, you must remember the snarling resistance to capitalism among the Web-heads dominating the landscape back then.

All software should be open source.  Selling stuff — any stuff at all — “polluted” the promise of a New Way Of Doing Things Online, where everything should be free (as God and Al Gore surely intended).

When non-techie-type people — your neighbors, for example — started flooding online, and finally got over the fear of using their credit card on a Web site, that “free” ethos collapsed in earnest.

Except for the really cool stuff… like music and intellectual property.

Hey — I don’t like the Big Music Moguls any more than you do.  They raped artists and kept a corrupt house since the first needle hit vinyl.

And the Grateful Dead/Coldplay model of allowing rips (and making their real money through touring) is a great tactic… except when it isn’t.

Okay, time out again.  I’m not gonna enter the fray of whether all movies and music should be available free on bit torrent sites.

No.

I wanna get more specific.

I wanna discuss the notion that ripping off another marketer’s ADS is somehow cool and hip and righteous.

This is where I was heading the entire time here.  A slight detour through Woodstock, down the side alley of my vandal past, across the lawn of the Internet, and finally into the parking lot of Marketing And Advertising.

When I was coming up through the freelance ranks, there was not another copywriter alive who thought it was okay to directly rip another writer’s stuff.

Seriously.

It was a sin to copy someone else’s stuff word for word.

You just didn’t do it.

There was theft, of course.  Thieving bastards who thought they wouldn’t get caught would be so brazen as to clip ads from newspapers, white-out the address in the coupon, type in their own address…

… and then submit the altered ad, as is, to their local paper for publication.

This happened to clients of mine.  A lot.  Ads I wrote were nicked in Australia — where US law couldn’t touch them, at the time — and run exactly that way.

These were not copywriters doing the deed.

These were thieves.  The lowest form of life in the food chain.

No one pretended it was otherwise.

As business on the Web progressed through the early years of this century, however…

… a curious thing happened.

Suddenly, it was okay to rip off another writer’s copy.  Word for word.

My fellow “old school” writers were appalled.  But powerless to change this re-definition of the word “ethical”.

I even decided to help the rippers out.  I gave a now-infamous workshop called the “License To Steal Seminar”… where I taught people how to rip 5 of my most successful ads.

Why did I do this?

Because everyone was ripping my ads incorrectly.

It pissed me off.

And so, I took it upon myself to teach budding writers what the swipe-file process actually entailed.

The key: Don’t blindly copy.

Instead, figure out the essence of how the sales pitch has been constructed in a good ad…

… and adopt what you learn when you write your own ad.

When I started out, I stalked Gary Bencivenga’s direct mail pieces because his writing “spoke” to me.

I would literally tear his packages apart, and mark them up with notes as I dissected his bullets, his word choices, and the way he guided his reader through the pitch.

But I never copied any of his bullets, or headlines, or even “close the sale” wording.

It was like studying Eric Clapton’s solo in “Crossroads”.  Sure, learn how he constructed it.  Learn how to emulate it.

But don’t go out and play it, note for note, in one of your own songs.  That would be rightly ridiculed.

Instead, “channel” Eric’s style if you must… but be original.

There are only a handful of notes (plus quarter and half-note bends) in the classic blues scale.  That “Crossroads” solo (correct me if I’m wrong) uses just A, C, D and E, up and down the neck, with bends.

Think about that.  A smattering of notes, arranged to send chills and thrills through a Clapton fan.  He has no legal or moral right to claim those notes as his, and no one else’s.  All musicians share the same scales.

And yet what he did was original, and easily identified.

Same with copy, people.  No writer can claim to “own” words like “how to”, or “absolutely free”, or “here’s what I have for you”, or anything else.

But an entire piece of copy…

… a successful ad really can become a work of art.  Worthy of emulation and inspiration.

However, you are CHEATING yourself if you rip mindlessly.

Look, I advocate swipe files.  They’re a great tool.  I include extensive swipe files — of my own stuff — in the packages I offer.

And, as I said, I offer insight to using these swipe files to help spur your own original creation of a good sales conversation.

Just plain old copying, though… it’s like taking your sister to the prom.

It may have all the appearances of a “real” date, but it’s not legit.  It is not a foundation to build anything on.

And this kind of mis-wired thinking produces a lot of hokey “They laughed when I sat down at the piano… but then I started to play…” kind of knock-off marketing.

It will look and sound silly if you don’t understand WHY that John Caples headline and copy worked.  (For the record: It’s a before-and-after type of head.  The key words are not “laughed” or “sat down”, but the juxtaposition of being put down with the “and then I started to play” tease, promising a story of redemption and new-found respect.)

I am now calm but still rueful about being perhaps the most ripped-off writer in the game these days.

It is not — as some might say — the highest form of flattery.  It is, in most cases, intellectual theft.

And it’s become accepted, without apology.

I’ve had books sent to me by folks who should be ashamed that they’ve copied large sections of my stuff… and pawned it off as their own.  And they are not ashamed at all.

I’ve witnessed speakers go on before me at an event… and tell my stories as their own (which sends me scrambling to adjust my own talk to get around the infraction).

This kind of shit leaves me baffled.

The real professionals in marketing never copy directly.  They may quote other writers, but they are lavish in praise while doing so, to ensure there is no confusion.

And they strive to be original at all times.

There are only so many commonly-used words in the English language.  The rich body of slang is refreshed constantly as we toy with phrases and cultural definitions.

If you can hold a conversation with someone, you can write what you need written for your biz.

You don’t need to steal blindly.

You can have a real date for the prom — all you need to do is get hip to the simple, easy process of doing what needs to be done to attain what you want.

Understanding why a good ad IS good gives you insight to what you must do in your own writing.

It’s not rocket science.  It’s actually easy to get into the groove of being original, once you’ve had just a touch of mentoring.

And when it finally clicks, you are off to the races.  You are no longer a slave to your swipe file, because you know how to have a sales conversation that gets results.

And that kind of knowledge just automatically fuels original thinking.

If you’re hot to embrace the freedom, independence, and wealth-generating mojo of knowing how to write everything you need written to make your biz rock…

… you can check out the Simple Writing System package I’ve made available.

I’m not gonna pitch you on it here.  You can decide for yourself if it’s what you need by going here to kick the tires: http://www.simplewritingsystem.com

It truly is a fun ride.

I’m also in the process of interviewing an astonishing array of marketing wizards — including a number of movers-and-shakers you may not have heard of yet (offering you an obvious advantage by learning their secrets before your competition).

These interviews will be released in just a few weeks from now.

And they will be free. No theft is required to access them.

So I’m just saying… you may want to keep your eyes peeled for the announcements of these free content-stuffed interviews.

It’s all part of my devious plan to help you get past your sticking-points and problems with writing your own fast, easy sales conversations that bring in the moolah.

Thanks for letting get all this off my chest here.

Especially the Woodstock stuff.  Been 40 years now.  Still a hell of a party, regardless of whatever else you might think about the event…

Stay frosty,

John

P.S. Really… what IS so funny about peace, love and understanding?