Category Archives for freelance copywriters

You, The Movie Version

Sunday, 6:35pm
Reno, NV
Crispy clear evening, with a canopy of stars twinkling like lighters during a Neil Young encore…

Howdy,

I’m gonna ask you to write a little mini-script here in a minute. For your “inner” home movie.

You did know your life is a movie, right?

Okay, maybe you’re no DiCaprio or Clooney or Scarlett… or even Giametti… but you’re the star of your own show just the same.

There’s a script, which you have enormous sway with. You don’t like the way things are going, do a rewrite.

There’s direction, and even lighting. You want something flashy or big to happen… well, you can arrange it. Whatever you want, as long as you’ve got the cojones to get after it. (No, you’re not guaranteed to get what you want… but if that’s how you want your movie to go, you can at least call for it in your script. Run for prez, dude, if that floats your boat. Heck, if the current crop thinks they’re worthy, then most of the rest of us are, too.)

Lighting, by the way, plays a bigger role in your life than you might realize. Most of us live under ridiculously harsh wattage, both at work and at home… and it’s like blasting angry music into your head all the time. It can change the way you see yourself, and act in the world. Heck — bright lights are used as “extreme interrogation” methods by the CIA. So is Barry Manilow music, as well as thrash metal. Because relentless use of it hurts.

As a side note: Experiment with the subtle elements of your life. Get some indirect lighting for your office, use non-white bulbs or even candles… you don’t have to go for any kind of gaudy bordello-style mood, but just try lighting your stage differently for a little while. See how it affects the way you do things.

Same with music — get out of your rut, for sure, but also stretch a bit. My iPod is crammed with rock and roll, but also lots of classical and acid jazz and country and folk and alternative stuff. And I carefully plan out hour-long playlists that create a mood, and keep it going.

When you live like you’re a star, you pay attention to these kinds of details.

The benefits: Time slows down… routines become exercises in pleasurable rites rather than zombie habits… and your awareness level kicks up a notch.

All are excellent tools for living well… and being a better marketer.

Especially the “awareness” part.

Have you ever wondered where the knack for finding stories and hooks — the main ingredient of any great copywriter’s bag of tricks — comes from?

It’s a direct result of being hyper-aware. Of living life like the greatest movie ever filmed.

Think about your life.

No, seriously. Think about it.

Most people have trouble “seeing” themselves in the world at all. Without a mirror, they’re not even sure they exist. Their daily experiences are like watching a “monkey cam” — the filmed result of attaching a camera to the back of a chimp and letting him wander off.

It’s not a smooth, thought-out, coherent narrative. Instead, it’s jerky, chaotic, and (unless there are “happy accidents”) mostly boring.

There. I’ve said it.

Most people lead boring lives.

And do you know why?

It’s because they refuse to believe they have any control over the script, plot, or action of their life. And, if you don’t believe you do, then you don’t. That’s the way it works, most of the time.

I’m not talking about adopting a selfish attitude of “it’s all about me”. No way. Most of the really savvy people you know — the ones who have their personal and biz lives put together well — are not selfish weasels. And yet, they live like they’re the center of the action, because they are.

Doesn’t have to be a “movie” metaphor, either. Think of yourself as the protaganist in a great novel, or the hero of the best video game ever created. (Don’t be that guy who dresses like a Wookie, though. When you finally kick your life into high gear, it will be part action, part comedy, part drama, part tragedy, and yes, part fantasy… but try to think in well-rounded terms. It’s a mistake to get hung up on any one thing, because it’s so limiting. Expand. Live large.)

Whatever works for you, works. It may take you a little time to get clear on what kind of script you really want — most novice goal-seekers screw it up the first few times (like thinking they really, really, really want something… and then being disappointed when they get it).

But you’ll get the hang of it pretty quickly, if you just realize this gift of consciousness you’ve been given. The natural tendency of any human being who has attained some measure of creature comfort, is to sleep-walk through the rest of his days.

And that’s not living. That’s zombie city.

Living your life like a movie means that you are constantly aware of the ROLE you play. It can change, or mutate, or solidify… but all of that can be your choice. Part of the plot twist, if you want.

You can never control EVERYTHING, of course. No one’s ever said you can. Every second of your existence is fraught with unpredictable events, from earthquakes and heart attacks to stalkers and food poisoning. Or an unexpected call from the ex. Or a hacker discovering your bank password.

Nevertheless, there remains a HUGE portion of your moment-to-moment life that you CAN control. If you choose.

And getting into the swing of writing your own script as much as you can, will redirect your life in ways that please you. You become the captain of your ship.

The OTHER advantage of living this way… is that the STORIES of your life become more vivid.

And the best copywriters and marketers and salesmen in the universe… are all great storytellers. Without exception.

Again, think about your life.

Consider how it has progressed in actual chapters, or acts. Maybe it’s as straightforward as childhood, adulthood, starting a biz, getting married. Or maybe it’s more nuanced, in peculiar ways that make sense to you but may sound fuzzy to outsiders. (I know guys who have sectioned thier past under the heading of whichever female was in their life at the time: Jo (junior high), Nancy (freshman year), Roberta (summer he got his license), Yolanda (first part-time job),etc. They will fry your ear with great stories, too.)

The more precise you can be, the better your stories will become. And the better your OWN parcel of stories are, the better you can spot — and use — stories from the world around you when you’re writing to influence and persuade.

I was really lucky to grow up in a family of storytellers. And since I was the youngest by 8 years, I learned quickly to be pithy and interesting… or to lose the floor (because few people have the patience for meandering stories with no punch line, especially from kids).

My auto-biography is already written, you know. In my head. It’s been a work in progress since the day I first realized I was alive… and I remember vivid, interesting stories from every minor period of my life.

Stories aid memory, and retention, you know. Every ancient culture on earth was based on stories until writing came along. They HAD to be short, fascinating and memorable, too… because any story not retained, was lost forever.

Even if this “consider the movie of your life” concept is new to you… you should be able to look back and see how certain periods of your life evolved. You don’t have to get it all organized right away… take your time. Focus on some pleasant period, and re-gather the stories from that period into a mental file cabinet.

I also urge you to write these stories down. In short, well-thought-out vinettes that pass the “won’t bore your buddies” test.

In other words… leave out the dull parts. You can write up the longer version — the “director’s cut” that only you will truly appreciate — for personal indulgence… but while you’re honing your storytelling chops for the outside world, focus on short, crisp, rollicking tales that get to the point quickly.

The best stories are concise little mini-movies. With a beginning, a middle, and an end. Or, like a good joke, with a premise, a set-up, and a punch line.

They can be serious, or funny, or rueful, or just “hmmm” inducing.

But they must be complete stories. Remember Suzy, your first real relationship? Sure, it went on for a long time, and any day-to-day explanation would put even someone tweaked on speed to sleep.

So start editing, with an audience in mind. For example, to strut your credentials for understanding young love: “Suzy, the first love of my life. Teenagers, convinced we would live forever, and no one had ever felt a love so strong before. We spent most of our time in the back seat, or in secluded spots, fumbling with biological imperatives and hormone dumps. Torrid affair. Shocking heartache when her biology shifted away from me. Sad, sad boy, convinced no one had ever felt such pain before…”

Or, something more mundane: “Interviewed for my first real job right out of college. Cinched up my tie, answered every jack-ass question seriously, shook hands like a candidate. Got the job. Hated every second of my life for six months, never quite caught my breath, and then got fired. Joy, again.”

Or, here’s a tidbit from my own biography: “We were vandals as kids, mostly ineffective and innocent, but occasionally stunning models of terrorism. Asked an engineer how many railroad ties his cow-catcher could handle… and the next day, put all those plus one on the tracks. Derailed the train, and our genuine horror of success was deepened by the realization we better watch our asses if we were gonna engage with the adult world like that.”

Three sentences. Yeah, long ones, but three coherent, correct sentences. A complete story, with entry point, action, and quasi-moral ending.

Consider how looooooooooooong I could have dragged that tale out, and been absolutely justified in doing so. Because, hey, the thing took place over a couple of days, and there are details of our gang and the neighborhood and the derailment that are fascinating.

Just friggin’ fascinating.

But longer stories should only be told if you’re invited to tell them. As in, writing your thousand-page biography, and selling it. Anyone buys, it’s a tacit agreement to put up with every long-winded tale you’ve got up your sleeve.

Watch a bad movie tonight. Not a good one, or even a cult sleazoid one, appreciated for being bad.

No, watch a dull, plodding, no-thumbs-up disaster. You’ll discover that it has nothing to do the stars in the cast, the money in the budget, the director, the studio, or even the script. (People have screwed up Shakespeare, you know.)

Watch it critically. Consider WHY it’s boring you. And think of ways it could speed up the pace, nudge your attention, be better. The culprit will almost always be the storytelling.

Now, it’s your turn.

Leave a 3-sentence story from your life in the comments section. Don’t be shy — we’re all trying new stuff this year (or should be). Trashing old limitations, stretching new boundaries, waking up and engaging the world on new terms.

I promise to read every one. I’ll even toss in a few comments myself, when warranted.

This is a SAFE forum, you know. We’re all friends, or at least cohorts in the quest for better living and finer biz results.

Honing your storytelling chops requires releasing your shy restrictions, and just doing it. Get comfy with the concept, and get better with the details each time you try again.

I won’t mock anyone, and I’ll read every submission. Some of you are already damn good, others can use a lot of work… but we ALL need a kick in the butt once in a while to continue getting better at storytelling.

C’mon. Three lines. That forces you to be concise, to consider every single word carefully, and to crunch large chaotic experiences into tidy little narratives with a point.

I’m not looking for funny. Not looking for tears. Not looking for anything profound.

Just a story.

For some writers, this will be a true test, because you aren’t used to pushing yourself like this. However, the best already do.

Stay frosty,

John Carlton
www.carltoncoaching.com

What To Do, Redux

Tuesday, 10:27 pm
Reno, NV

Howdy…

That was a great, healthy, raucous sharing of ideas to the question I posted Sunday. Essentially: What to do, when the act of creating a formal ad is too daunting, but you need to do something to create sales.

The Usual Suspects posted really good comments, and it was cool to see a bunch of new folks putting on their Thinking Caps to tackle the problem.

As I said — I hate questions like this, myself. Cuz it hurts to confront puzzles, mysteries, dilemnas, and problems.

Yet, it’s been the best way to learn for around 3,000 years. It’s the Socratic method — essentially Q&A, but the answers are expected to be well-thought-out. (For a great example of this method in action, see the 1973 flick “The Paper Chase”, on the hot action inside a freshman year at Harvard Law School.) (I still get shudders watching it today.)

So, for my entire career, I’ve been practicing it whenever possible. John Caples, in “Tested Advertising Methods”, offers up hundreds of little mini-tests… asking the reader to choose which headline or USP worked the best. I was stunned to learn that most of my colleagues who had bothered to pick up that amazing book had also NOT considered each question carefully, chose definitively, and only then look at the answer.

Nope. Most glanced at the question, then quickly went to find the answer. “Oh, yeah,” they’d say. “I probably would’ve chosen correctly, if I’d had to.”

Bullshit. That’s cheating.

Your brain is a muscle. It craves good workouts, even though puzzles can make the old cranium cranky. The ONLY way to retain knowledge is to cement it into your noggin. Passive, lazy glances at the important stuff doesn’t cut it.

So kudo’s to everyone who ventured an answer.

It was gratifying to see so many writers come so close to the answer, too. (In truth, many would have technically passed the test, even though their answer wasn’t quite as complete as what I was getting at.)

Before I reveal my own answer, let’s address a few of the suggestions offered.

First, swiping is not gonna cut it. All writers swipe to one degree or another (though some of the new breed do it to excess, and rob themselves of finding their own “voice” and style).

However, even if you find an ad to swipe that is in your market, close to your USP, and even selling something similar… you’re still gonna have to slog through the very necessary tasks of re-molding the headline, all subheads, and especially bullets to your own situation.

This can work… but remember that part of the question was “…and you find the formal process of creating an ad daunting…”. For a veteran professinal copywriter, this particular problem won’t come up much. But for an entrepreneur or small biz owner selling your own crap, this is THE most common problem you face.

What’s more — as I posted among the comments last night — while using the “Lazy Businessman’s 3-Step Shortcut To Creating A World-Class Ad” (the record-yourself-at-fever-pitch-and-transcribe technique pushed by Halbert and me for decades) will actually get you to a good point in creating a killer sales message… in all the years I’ve taught it to people, few have ever actually done it.

Still, the process you would go through to get your head ready for such a recording… IS a big part of the answer to this problem.

Here is my solution:

First, and foremost… keep it all very simple.

What you want to do is create a sleek, greased slide leading straight to a single action.

No tangents. No long stories that require cognitive effort by the reader.

The key is that single action you will request: What, with a gun your head and wolves at the door, is the ONE action you would love to see your reader take? Could be a full-on sale… could be just to get into the sales funnel… could be a phone call. Or a hundred other actions.

Choose the one that you need him to do. Concentrate your salesmanship on getting him to that point — quickly, efficiently and without fuss.

Second: Get clear on WHO your reader is.

Remember — even jaded, long-time marketers have little clue who actually populates their list. Many entrpreneurs get an idea in their head of who they THINK they’re writing to… but are often wildly wrong.

So calm down (yes, even with that snarling and scratching at the door), and use whatever resources you have to nail your prime target. This could include asking your staff for input, calling up some actual customers to see who they are, or even doing a little “Google Stalking” to see if any of your intended readers show up in a search for demographic info.

If you’re writing to a cold list… you’ve still got to create that “avatar” character you’re writing to. If you gotta guess, you gotta guess. But you still have to make a final decision.

A sales pitch written to no one in particular will die a gruesome death.

Third: As so many posters commented… the next step is to create a super-condensed list of your reader’s needs and wants. You want to get as close to a psychological profile as you can. At this point — desperate and under urgent circumstances — you are in no position to offer him what you think he needs or should have.

Nope. You want to discern what he wants… and give it to him. This is not the time for long discourses on new ideas, or education on what-if situations.

Try, as much as you can with the resources you have, to figure out what parade your reader is marching in… and then hop out in front of it. Where’s he’s going, hey, that’s where YOU’RE going.

What a coincidence.

Fourth: As many of you guessed… you’re going to write a personal letter.

However — and this is critical — you are not going to write AT him… but TO him.

As much as your dire situation feels personal… this ain’t about YOU.

It’s about HIM. All you are is the conduit of good tidings — the bearer of great news, the gateway to something wonderful, the dude writing the one thing he’s gonna read today that really gets his blood moving. (Though, if your situation really does lend itself to a fire-sale offer, then by all means USE that tactic.)

You write — in a conversational voice — a very personal letter from you to him, getting right to the point, and outlining what you have for him in the following manner:

Here’s who I am…

Here’s what I have for you…

Here’s why you’ll like it…

And here’s what you need to do right now.

Yes, you need to write your opening line (or subject line, if you’re using email) in a compelling way… because it’s doing the job of a headline. And yes, you need to think in bullet form (even if you don’t use the formal, indented bullet set up). And yes, your close needs to cover all the essentials of classic salesmanship.

However, if you know who you’re writing to… and you’re dead honest about what you have, and how it fits into his life… then all this should come naturally.

Many of you know the story behind the big damn Stompernet launch. Frank Kern graciously has told this tale many times, and I’ll repeat it here: With just days left before the launch, the guys doing the writing were nowhere near having a final “buy now” sales pitch ready.

It was panic time. They were trying to hire me — at ridiculous rates — but I didn’t have the time (or, honestly, the inclination — I’ve had my share of emergency jobs, and they’re never any fun).

So, during a break at the seminar in San Diego we were all attending, I sat down with Frank and Mike and promised to do what I could to help them get back on track.

The copy they had was, to my mind, hopelessly overwritten and a muddle.

And completely unnecessary, I told them.

At this point, they knew WHO they were writing to… and even had a fair idea of their prospect’s state of mind. (Teased to a froth, from an extended launch process.)

So, I said, here’s all you need…

And I quoted to them pretty much what I just laid out here in this post.

For Frank, it was an epiphany. And he was able to blast out the letter that sealed the deal in record time. (It was a beauty, too. I am NOT taking any credit for what Frank wrote at all. I’m just pleased to have helped part the fog, and point out the yellow-brick road.)

The thing to do when your body is telling you to PANIC… is to settle down, get your breathing deep and relaxed… and set to work mapping out a simple, direct, no-frills path for your very real reader to arrive at a simple request for action.

Movement will save you. And movement in a definite direction, knowing that you only have to create a very simple pitch with a simple request for action, can bring stunning results.

All great ads are, at heart, just killer letters that touch your reader’s heart. Or greed gland. Or desire for vengance, or whatever it is that he wants enough to open his wallet to attain.

It’s fair to ask: If this is such a good tactic, why not write ALL ads like this?

And the professional answer is: Because, once you have the core of your pitch nailed in this format… you can increase readership, desire, and response by fleshing more of the classic “formal” parts. Big headline, bold and centered subheads, ranks of tidy indented bullets, some graphics, audio, video and all that other cool stuff.

Nevertheless… cornered by a crisis, without the time or resources to “perfect” your ad… a very simple sales letter, aimed at the tender emotional sweet spot of need in your reader, leading to a single action… can save your life.

That was fun, wasn’t it?

You guys are scary-good, and I feel better about the state of the copywriter field after seeing the sense, the will to think hard, and the skill set so many of you offer.

Stay frosty…

John Carlton
www.carltoncoaching.com

What To Do When You Don’t Know What To Do

Sunday, 6:09pm
Reno, NV

Howdy…

Here’s a question for you.

It’s something that — once you know the answer — you sorta want to smack yourself upside your head, cuz it’s so obvious.

However, it’s NOT so obvious until someone with experience reveals the answer to you. It’s simple, but most folks never “stumble” upon it on their own.

I hate these kinds of questions, myself. Except for, like, situations where I’m the one holding the big damn secret, and I get to do all the teasing and torturing. It’s fun being the one in control. All humans have at least a small sociopathic sadist hiding deep inside, you know…

But never mind about that.

What’s interesting here — and very, very important to marketers looking to earn the Big Bucks — is that despite the “obviousness” of the answer (which you’re very close to discovering)… fewer than one professional copywriter in a hundred has a clue to the solution.

And that’s the pro’s — the guys making a living at this.

For rookie entrepreneurs and flustered small biz owners… it’s like the Holy Grail of advertising. They’ve maybe heard rumors about it, but harbor little hope of ever finding the answer without some serious help.

Still, it’s worth wracking your brain about, because (as top marketers know) all the really good wealth-producing secrets are hidden from most people.

This is the advanced stuff, folks.

So here’s the question… and I want you to really try to answer it for yourself before you peek at the answer:

Ahem.

“What can a marketer do… when he desperately needs a money-making ad fast… and yet finds the ‘formal’ process of writing a ‘real’ sales pitch (or getting one written by others) too daunting to complete?”

In other words, you need to post, print or mail something (with wolves at the door)… and no way is a ‘real’ looking ad gonna get completed in time. So what do you do?

I’ll give you a hint: The answer is NOT “do nothing.” Or “crawl back into bed and curl into a sobbing fetal position.” (A very common response, by the way, to this very common problem. It’s why so many new businesses wither and die every year, too.)

The key words in this question are “desperately”… “money-making”… “fast”… and “real”.

Consider those words as you try to figure out the answer.

The need for results-getting ads is never-ending for all business owners… and most never adequately solve the problem of getting “real” ads created (either by using agencies or freelancers)… even when deadlines are loose and money’s no object.

Worse, though, is that neither entrepreneurs nor small biz owners ever come close to solving the problem of giving birth to “emergency” ads that need to get posted or published or mailed right friggin’ NOW… especially when there’s no agency or freelancer available to help, or no money to hire them.

So what do you think the answer is?

Wracked with anxiety, under a cash crunch, with the hammer coming down… and no time or resources available to pay someone else to do it… or to create a “real” ad, with superscript, headline, subhead, bullets, guarantees, graphics, etc, yourself… what do you DO?

I’d love to hear your suggestions in the comments section. I promise not to make fun of anyone… especially rookies who just want to give a stab at the answer.

Again, the question (re-phrased): “What do you do, when you’re under the gun to create a money-making sales piece… and you simply don’t know how to create (or are overwhelmed by the requirements of) a ‘formal’ type ad with all the bells and whistles?”

I’ll post the veteran’s short, elegant solution Tuesday evening.

Stay frosty,

John Carlton
www.carltoncoaching.com

P.S. C’mon. Give it a go — leave a suggestion in the comments section here…

How Professional Writers Procrastinate

Thursday, 10:54pm
Reno, NV

Howdy…

I was gonna write this post last week, but I put it off and forgot about it.

Okay, that’s a bad joke.

But it could have been the truth. Humans have a lot of belligerent, wicked-clever demons lurking inside… and procrastination is one of the nastiest.

Often, during one of my ridiculously expensive consultations, I’ll hear all kinds of excuses from the client concering why he can’t “get” anywhere in business.

Disorganization and time management get the blame a lot… but really, I know it’s nearly always just a virulent case of procrastination.

Oh, it’s bad stuff. People have all kind of different names for it — writer’s block, stress-induced catatonia, frozen nerves, lack of inspiration…

But it all really just comes down to being a lazy S.O.B.

We choose to Read more...

The Drunkard’s View

Sunday, 8:06pm
Reno, NV

Howdy…

Let’s talk about boozing it up, shall we?

I mean, tomorrow is Amateur Drunk Night, after all. The streets will be an obstacle course of big damn SUVs and expensive sedans driven by people who have just discovered — just tonight, at the big New Year’s Eve party — that they love Irish whiskey or Mai Tais or Mad Dog 20-20 or whatever… and look! it doesn’t affect their ability to drive even one li’l teensy li’l tiny bit, buddy, and whadya gon’ do ‘bou it, huh, mishter? Shime da bescht der-river inna worl! Hey! Where’d da tree come fum, huh? He he he he…

Don’t do it, man.

Don’t drink and drive. And don’t even drink a lot, if you’re not used to it.

Especially if you’re around friends or co-workers.

Bad, nasty, evil mis-adventures will befall you, and haunt you for decades.

I know.

I’ve been there.

And no, I’m not gonna Read more…

The Dark Side of Passion

Thursday, 10:15am
Reno, NV

Howdy…

Sometimes marketers like to pretend they exist outside the “real” world of politics, war and social upheaval.

This attitude is especially evident in certain commercials and ad-heavy publications that reveal a thick-headed cluelessness about life outside the box of privilege. In the past months, I’ve seen TV ads mimicking revolution in the street for a frivolous product… and read articles on celebrities that used references to famine and actual murder cases, trying to be ironic and hip.

These efforts are clunky and embarrassing. Yet, they never abate. (Mind you, I adore irreverent humor and M*A*S*H-style commentary… but you can’t accomplish this kind of wit from the sidelines. Cluelessness makes knowledgeable people cringe.)

I first noticed this disconnect between pain and fun as a teenager waiting for my draft notice during the Vietnam war. The evening news was dominated by combat zone film bringing the war right into America’s homes (something The Man has since realized should never happen again, if he wants to continue blowing people up for vague and unsupportable campaigns)… so for half an hour between typical fluff like “The Beverly Hillbillies” and “Gilligan’s Island”, we were treated to glimpses of Hell, half a world away. Guys just a few months older than me crouched behind shattered walls, bullets zinging into the stucco while swaying palm trees burned under distant napalm assaults. And the wounded were evacuated, swathed in bloody bandages, the stretcher-bearers ducking and weaving.

And then, during the break, here comes this bright and cheerful commercial for laundry soap… with a pretty housewife flying a WWI-era bi-plane, dropping tablets like bombs from the sky. The slogan — and all TV ads back then were centered on slogans — was some bullshit reference to “blowing up” germs in your dirty clothes with this new, improved way of keeping your family clean.

Seconds away from the grime and gore of a real battlefield, here’s Read more…

The Naughty List For Businesses

Sunday, 11:59pm
Reno, NV

Howdy…

Quickie post here, cuz I’m a walking petri dish of germs. There’s a slug of Nyquil sitting here with my name on it, and I’ll be worthless about three minutes after I slam it.

Gulp.

Done.

Here’s the post (while I can still type): One of the grand traditions of year-end journalism is the round-up of “worst” lists.

I love ’em all.

In truth, 2007 had some totally bitchin’ highlights for me and my colleagues. The gloom-and-doom mainstream media would prefer that we all become quivering masses of hysterical anxiety… but after you’ve been around the block as many times as I have, you get some perspective.

Things have been worse. And they’ve been better.

That’s kinds how the world works.

Still… there are all these wonderful lists to enjoy.

So here’s a good one, in case you missed it. Not your standard “celebrity eats own head” kind of material, either.

It’s literally a “worst of biz” 2007 list. By Fortune magazine.

Read, enjoy, discuss:

http://money.cnn.com/galleries/2007/fortune/0712/gallery.101_dumbest.fortune/index.html?section=money_topstories

Stay frosty… and don’t catch what I have…

John Carlton
www.carltoncoaching.com

Never Right

Thursday, 12:02am
Reno, NV

Howdy…

How would you like to frustrate the hell out of all your competitors… and get so good at sales that people start believing you’ve made a pact with the Devil?

Okay, that’s too many satanic references in one sentence. (Though Frank Kern would dig it.)

But the analogy holds, once you learn this one simple salesman’s tactic I’m about to share with you. Other biz owners will swear at you, and fresh customers will swear in appreciation of your Read more...

Crime Lords and Killer Copy

Howdy.

I just fielded a GREAT question in the Marketing Rebel Radio Rant coaching club Forum… and I liked my answer so much, I decided to share it here with everyone else. (It’s an excellent “taste” of the quality of info/advice/insight you get in that club, too.)

One of the “forum rats”, as we affectionately refer to each other, posted the question that is on the mind of most business owners’ when they first encounter the concept of “learning” to write their own copy.

Essentially, that question is this: “Really, why should I bother to learn the skills of writing copy at all?

When you look around at the mega-wealthy, they OWN things and manage from the top.

Like a crime boss. They want someone hit, they send out Guido.

Hard to imagine Donald Trump chewing a pencil, coming up with a dozen new headlines.

So… why bother to learn copy, if your dreams are big? Wouldn’t that time be better spent playing Monopoly-style biz boss, amassing property and holdings and moving and shaking?

And just hire the best writers to do your copywriting work?”

And here is my answer:

You ask a very good question. It’s so good, in fact, that it mimics exactly how I’ve been postioning my copywriting course lately in seminars.

My general message is this: Sure, you can (and probably will, in some cases) end up hiring writers to do the bulk of the writing for you as you grow your biz.

However, just as a crime boss hires hit men to do the dirty work… chances are, the boss still knows HOW to do the hit himself… and probably spent mucho time in his “rise to power” days actually doing just that. (Very Shakespearean, these modern crime lords.)

Same with biz.

ALL the top multi-millionaire marketers I know — from Jay Abraham to Dan Kennedy, from Eben Pagan to Frank Kern, from Rich Schefren to Mike Filsaime — know how to write killer copy.

And, for the most part, they still handle the important jobs themselves. Even though they may hire out the less-than-critical projects. (Eben — who will gross tens of millions this year — recently spent weeks sequestered, alone, in his home office pounding out copy for his recent launch. Wrote every word himself.)

The reason for this is fundamental: If you don’t know how to write good copy, how will you be able to JUDGE whether whoever you hire has done a good job?

If you are clueless, you’ll be at the mercy of your freelancers. You won’t understand what’s needed, you won’t know if the copy submitted is any good, you won’t be able to set real deadlines… you’re just a babe in the woods, vulnerable and potential lunch for every predator who catches your scent. (And even good, ethical writers will take advantage of you, because it’s so easy. Never forget that the writer/client relationship is inherently hostile — each person wants the best deal for themselves, and wants to do as little work/pay as little money for the process as possible. It’s the nature of the world.)

Just like a crime boss who has no idea how hits happen. The freelance killers he hires (if they know he’s clueless) will jack him around, take forever, botch the job, etc. It’s the stuff that built the Sopranos lore. Remember: Tony did his own hits, when he wanted it done right. (Like offing his cousin.)

There is NO other skill in biz more important than writing copy.

Period.

Show me a CEO who doesn’t understand advertising (which is built around the copy), and I’ll show you a screw-up about to tank the stock. He may get the recognition, but he’s utterly dependent on whoever he has doing the actual marketing… and his entire existence rests on the competence/incompetence of that hired dude behind the scenes.

Shudders all around. Sleepless nights. Ulcers and early death.

But hey — he didn’t “waste” any valuable time learning how to write copy.

Same with politics. The guys who rock as politicians write most or all of their own speeches. The hacks hire it out, oblivious of how embarrassing and exposed they become when their ghost writers put the wrong words in their mouths. (Plus, they get that “deer in the headlights” look whenever they face the press without a script.)

You ever see an actor on his own in an interview? Fielding tough, unexpected questions, they reveal that they are not even close to being as witty, or charming, or smart as the characters they play.

The power of writing has never been proven more important than the way network and cable television has nearly shut down entirely due to the current writer’s strike. Leno, Letterman, Stewart, Colbert, et al, are funny dudes… but they rely on writers to provide the bulk of their show’s wit. (Slight twist here: All those guys COULD write their own stuff, if they had the time, though. They are all seething bastards when it comes to judging the quality of their hired writers, because they know what they want. Thus, they produce high-end shows that rock. But pay attention: During free-form interviews, they are on their own, and they’re “writing” their own witty, funny stuff AS THEY TALK. This, too, is writing copy, even though there’s no typing involved. When you understand HOW to write what you need, you eventually get good enough to write it in your head as you talk. You become a living, breathing copy-producing monster.)

No copy, no action. It really is that simple.

Operation MoneySuck demands that you spend your precious (and very limited) time honing your most important chops. And yes, amassing the outside fortifications of larger and more efficient businesses is important… but they will crumble without the foundational support of killer copy. (All the largest mailers in the world — Rodale, Phillips, Agora — were started by people who understood and wrote copy. Some have stumbled along the way, whenever non-writers gained control and lost sight of basic salesmanship. Great lesson there.)

Copy is salesmanship-in-print. Selling is what you do. The largest and most efficient business is just an empty shell if it cannot sell what it produces.

Learn the craft.

Stay frosty.

John Carlton
www.carltoncoaching.com

P.S. One last point: The idea that you can just hire the “best” writers to do your copy has a big hole in it.

Why?

Because, the “A List” of top writers is only around two-dozen names long. And they are all pretty much booked through eternity. No amount of moolah can get them to write for you, until you start offering partner-sized equity in your biz.

The “B List” of writers are also booked solid, most of the time. If you intend to pay for your most important copy, you may as well hook up an umbilical cord from the writer to your bank account… because you’re gonna pay a LOT (even if you can’t find an “A List” writer to do your job).

Worse — there’s a mob of untested, unproven, and weak-skilled freelancers out there masquerading as grizzled professionals… charging huge bucks to write lame-ass copy.

So you can’t tell from their fees how good they are.

You can shell out gold for peanuts… unless you know how to judge good copy.

The only way to do that: Learn the craft.

Don’t make me come down there…

Knockin’ ‘Em Off The Fence

Sunday, 5:45pm
Reno, NV
There is no problem in the world that cannot be solved with a good sales letter.” (Gary Halbert)

Howdy…

Increasingly, I am teaching less about the technicalities of copywriting, and more about the subtle (and much ignored) art of salesmanship.

And this makes sense, given the nature of the Web. Copywriting is mostly a technical skill, something you can learn to do without actually understanding what it is, exactly, that you’re doing.

Sort of like learning to play songs on a guitar without having a clue how each chord relates to music theory — you just put your fingers like so on the fretboard, and strum.

One of the first things I did in the “Kick Ass Copywriting Secrets” course was to lay out a blueprint for a basic ad. It’s almost “paint by numbers” — write something about you here, something about the product here, list some benefits here, etc.

I also laid out a way to capture a good spoken pitch, and transcribe it into a working ad.

Your fundamental, nothin’ fancy, stripped-down pitch.

The very best copywriters are artists, and understand every nuance of writing.

But for most projects, you don’t need to be a top copywriter — you just need to get the job done of presenting what you have, showing why it’s something your reader wants, and offering an easy way to get it.

As my pal Dan Kennedy likes to say:

Good enough is good enough.

For many of the entrepreneurs and small biz owners I deal with, creating an ad that is “good enough” to get a basic sales job done is all they need to get over the hump of moving into profitable territory.

And with the Web increasingly offering so much free info, you really can get most of the way “there” without paying a cent for anything.

However…

… and it’s a BIG “however”…

… you will never get above the level of mediocre sales until you go deeper with your understanding of both copywriting AND salesmanship. (Just like the guitarist who never bothers to learn music theory will forever be locked into playing only the most simple tunes, and will get lost easily when playing with other musicians. It’s the difference between “Kumbaya” and “Take Five”.)


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This is why I wrote extensively about salesmanship in the “Kick Ass” course…

… and why I hid so many other advanced lessons on salesmanship in there, too.

True success in both business and life comes down to learning the psychology and real-world application of advanced salesmanship, not just the technical details of slamming out pitches or memorizing a few persuasion tricks.

Top copywriters are master sales pros, first.

The “form” of writing copy follows the “function” of knowing how to sell.

That’s why my course — and my seminars, and my coaching clubs, and everything else I do — remains so fundamentally different than what other people teach.

Because what most people need is a good, stiff shot of masterful salesmanship. Not more technical skill at copywriting, not more graphics knowledge, and not more of anything else.

Every once in a while, I come across a “natural” salesman. They are rare. And they intuitively understand what I’m trying to teach about using copy to channel killer selling chops.

But for most folks, trying to convince someone to buy remains a big damn mystery. This is particularly frustrating when you get your basic copywriting chops down — so your ad reads well, and covers all the basics — and yet you don’t convert as many sales as you’d hoped for.

So here is the mystery, solved:

It is actually EASY to get a prospect to say “Hey, that looks like a pretty nice product”, and even agree with you that he should probably buy it.

However, it is much more difficult to move to the next level… and get that same prospect to actually pull out his wallet and give you money.


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This is where world-class salesmanship comes in. It’s not rocket science… but until you allow your stubborn little brain to digest the lessons, it will remain a mystery.

Even bad copywriters can coax a prospect to climb up and sit on the fence.

But it takes a deep knowledge of persuasion to knock him OFF that fence, and into your yard as a customer.

I used to have to hide the fact I was teaching so much classic salesmanship… because to many people, the whole concept seems fraught with scary implications of “mind control” and sleazy persuasion tricks.

Just get over it.

Everyone sells.

Almost every single human interaction involves some level of salesmanship — kids try to sell unrestricted access to the cookie jar to Mom… teens try to sell themselves as good dating material… every essay you ever wrote was a sales job for a good grade… politicians sell themselves for your vote… and every friend you have had to be “sold” on liking you, first.

People who get good at selling live better lives. Most people suck at selling, because they never pay attention to the process.

You can get through life without understanding salesmanship. But that’s all you’ll do — “get through” it.

The magic doesn’t happen until you start learning the tough lessons.

If you’re in business, and you ignore salesmanship, you’re toast. You can create a fabulous product, or present a fabulous service… and you can even get lots of prospects to eagerly tell you how great your product or service is, and how you should get filthy rich because it’s so great.

But that’s just piling prospects up on the fence, where they will sit forever if you don’t learn how to knock ’em off that fence.

Success is not about getting good PR or lots of pats on the back.

It’s about closing the deal.

Almost everything I write has a lesson in salesmanship hidden in it. It’s a little like teaching a kid about economics by giving him a dollar toward something he wants that costs two dollars — he’s got options and choices to make, and will have to learn to handle frustration and manage his dreams. He may not realize he’s learning basic capitalism, but he is.

And he learns absolutely nothing by you giving him the two bucks right off the bat.

And don’t get offended by the “child psychology” reference here. I had to learn most of my own lessons the hard way, and my mentors used the most cruel and insultingly-basic teaching methods possible.

Remember the car-washing exercises in “Karate Kid”?

Learning is painful. We’re all basically lazy beasts, resistant to new stuff. And the deep arts of classic salesmanship often run against the grain of “common sense”, or seem to come from left field.

But then, everything worth having takes some effort.

Every single lesson you learn nudges you a little further ahead than the other guy.

The big lesson here: Most mainstream advertising, at best, gets people up on the fence.

Just knowing that massive success requires learning how to knock them OFF that fence, puts you in a position to obliterate your competition.

If you lust after an extraordinary life, you need to master the tools of getting what you want.

And it’s all about salesmanship.

Stay frosty…

John Carlton

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