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	<title>The RANT &#187; Love Stinks</title>
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	<description>Free &#38; damn good insight, advice, cross-talk &#38; mutterings from the most respected &#38; ripped-off marketing guru alive…</description>
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		<title>Love Stinks</title>
		<link>http://www.john-carlton.com/2010/02/love-stinks/</link>
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		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Feb 2010 01:42:20 +0000</pubDate>
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				<category><![CDATA[business]]></category>
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		<category><![CDATA[John Carlton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[love]]></category>
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		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.john-carlton.com/?p=794</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It was a spectacular success, if you're keeping score.]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img class="aligncenter size-medium wp-image-795" title="John Misha 6" src="http://www.john-carlton.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/02/John-Misha-6-200x300.jpg" alt="John Misha 6" width="200" height="300" /></p>
<p>Monday, 2:33pm<br />
San Diego, CA<br />
<em>&#8220;If you see my little red rooster, please send him home&#8230;&#8221;</em> (Howling Wolf, master of innuendo)</p>
<p>Howdy&#8230;</p>
<p>I&#8217;m actually starting this blog in longhand, sitting in the Southwest terminal in San Diego&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; finally dragging my exhausted butt homeward after logging a full week here putting on the now-fabled Action Seminar.</p>
<p>It was a spectacular success, if you&#8217;re keeping score.</p>
<p>We directly challenged every seminar model out there&#8230; and delivered two frighteningly-on-target days of specific advice, techniques and life-transforming revelations.</p>
<p>Both the roomful of attendees, and the small army of Big Dog experts we assembled, loved the experience.  If you&#8217;re following the social media threads of folks like James &#8220;Schrak&#8221; Schramko, Mary Ellen Tribby, Big Jason Henderson, the Halbert boys, Harlan Kilstein, Brian Johnson, Kevin Rogers, Lorrie Morgan-Ferrero, and the other stellar names who participated&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; then you&#8217;re already hip to how the event went.</p>
<p>Excellent buzz.</p>
<p>Shame on you for missing it.</p>
<p>Anyway&#8230;</p>
<p>I haven&#8217;t got a lot of time here, so I need to focus on what I wanted to share with you here in this post.</p>
<p>There was a ton of practical info for everyone&#8217;s &#8220;To Do List&#8221; at the seminar&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; but there was also a very intriguing element of <em>spirituality</em>, too.</p>
<p>I wasn&#8217;t planning to go down that road.</p>
<p>However&#8230; <span id="more-794"></span>&#8230; when I stepped onstage to begin Day Two, I told Stan I wanted to talk about something not on our schedule for a few minutes before we re-immersed into the planned sessions.</p>
<p>The subject just settled into my mind as I addressed the crowd.  It was important, mostly ignored by the marketing community, and absolutely NOT what anyone expected to hear from the Marketing Rebel.</p>
<p>Can you guess what I talked about?</p>
<p><strong>Love</strong>.</p>
<p>So much of what entrepreneurs (and <em>wannabe </em>entrepreneurs) talk about when they discuss what they do, involves emotion.</p>
<p><em>Loving </em>what you do, splitting from the awfulness of a J-O-B and super-charging your batteries with <em>passion</em>, generating <em>good vibes</em> that resonate in the universe, and so on.</p>
<p>And you know what?</p>
<p>While most folks <em>talk </em>a good &#8220;love&#8221; game&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; few really have looked at it critically.</p>
<p><strong>And they fail to realize what they&#8217;re dealing with.</strong></p>
<p>I asked the crowd to call out the most powerful emotion humans possess.</p>
<p>Many, incorrectly, said &#8220;love&#8221;.</p>
<p>Now, I personally thrive on love.  It&#8217;s fueled my career, and keeps me motivated.  I may be the only guru out there who openly tells his colleagues he loves them, and who hugs my favorite friends, colleagues and co-workers with genuine warmth both arriving and going.</p>
<p>(When colleagues first meet me, they often balk at the manly hugs.  But once they realize it&#8217;s just a <strong>tribal greeting</strong> &#8212; maybe one small step above a firm handshake &#8212; they usually loosen up.</p>
<p>(Unless they&#8217;re terminal uptight cases.  Lot of them around.</p>
<p>(You can make fun of it if you like&#8230; cuz it IS kinda funny to see grown men and women, accomplished in their fields and generally maintaining a dignified attitude, eschewing the offered handshake of a close pal and going in for the &#8220;<em>I luv ya, man</em>&#8221; hug.</p>
<p>(Tell you what, though.  That&#8217;s how you know you&#8217;re on the <em>inside</em>.  That&#8217;s how you know you&#8217;ve been <em>accepted into the pack</em>.)</p>
<p>I haven&#8217;t retained much from my hippie days.  (Jeez, we were naive.)</p>
<p>But I believe younger generations have been <strong>cheated</strong>, mostly, with the overwhelming cynicism and sarcasm and hyper-critical bullshit of our culture.</p>
<p>Screw what you believe is &#8220;cool&#8221; or &#8220;dignified&#8221;.  Get over your bad self, stop pretending you&#8217;ve got to be aloof to be respected&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; and come here, gimme a hug.</p>
<p>You goofy bastard.  Lighten the fuck up, will ya?</p>
<p>There really is a kind of love out there that isn&#8217;t sexual, isn&#8217;t whimpy or goopy, and won&#8217;t hurt your perceived status in the world.</p>
<p>It is, in fact, the <em>exact </em>kind of love that successful Big Dogs are referring to when they talk about &#8220;passion&#8221; in markets and marketing.</p>
<p>Now&#8230; here&#8217;s what you may have wrong about this specific brand of love:</p>
<p><strong>It&#8217;s NOT the most powerful emotion out there.</strong></p>
<p>Not even close.  The really powerful ones are fear, rage and greed.</p>
<p>Those monsters grow without being nurtured, thrive in all conditions, and consume entire realities like an invading predator.</p>
<p>And they will <em>swamp </em>love, barely registering a burp after devouring it.  If you let it happen.</p>
<p>No, love is not powerful.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s <em>fragile</em>.</p>
<p>You gotta want it.  You gotta pursue it.  You need to understand it, realize what it is and what it isn&#8217;t, what it can and can&#8217;t do, where it can be found&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; and, especially, how easy it is to <em>lose</em>.</p>
<p>Love <em>withers </em>without constant nurturing.  It&#8217;s a needy thing, full of contradictions and almost perverse in the way it will constantly test you, challenge you, and even dare you to abandon it.</p>
<p><strong>When entrepreneurs talk about loving what they do, they are actually delivering &#8212; on a silver platter &#8212; the one big damn secret to being successful.</strong></p>
<p>You have to be critically aware of your love, embrace the unpredictable nature of it, and <em>commit </em>to it.</p>
<p>The kind of love experienced by entrepreneurs who make it past the rough stages, and burst into the heady worlds of success and fame and wealth&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; is something that, I&#8217;ve realized, most people never get to feel.</p>
<p>It&#8217;s the love of <em>creating </em>something, <em>committing </em>to adventures with no guarantees, standing <em>outside </em>yourself and murdering your ego in order to better feast on life&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; and allowing yourself to be <em>consumed </em>by a hidden lifeforce you cannot measure, cannot fully control, and cannot summon only when you can &#8220;use&#8221; it.</p>
<p>Love has no power beyond its ability to transform your experience within the world.</p>
<p>You can&#8217;t force it on others.</p>
<p>It will die without constant nurturing.</p>
<p>And it can be a <em>huge </em>pain in the ass when it runs up against the snarling emotional predators out there, hating and snapping in fear and living in cynical denial.</p>
<p>And yet, the successful entrepreneur just shrugs, knowing that love is the secret to earning your seat at the Feast.</p>
<p>Not easy to figure out, difficult to please, infuriating in its irrational tendencies.</p>
<p>But you wouldn&#8217;t want it any other way, once you&#8217;ve sunk deep into its embrace.</p>
<p>No one is going to invite you to the Feast of Life.   There isn&#8217;t room, really, for anyone who isn&#8217;t &#8220;with&#8221; the program anyway.</p>
<p>If you think it&#8217;s hilarious to see grizzled veterans of the business wars giving each other powerful embraces, and really meaning it&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; then, sorry, but you&#8217;re alienated from the core of human existence.   It may be a long way you need to go to get back (if you even want to try), or it may be a simple shrugging off of your meddling, too-cool-to-live ego&#8230;</p>
<p>&#8230; but the first step is the same:  <strong>Figure out what your relationship with this kind of life-loving experience is.</strong></p>
<p>Not what <em>other </em>people&#8217;s relationship is.</p>
<p>What YOURS is.</p>
<p>Then, the REAL adventures can begin in earnest.</p>
<p>Come on.  There&#8217;s someone close to you who needs a hug.</p>
<p>Get over yourself, and rise above the suspicious, eat-its-own culture all around you.</p>
<p>The Big Dogs breathe deep, and welcome love into their lives and business and dreams.</p>
<p>Just think about it.</p>
<p>I got a plane to catch&#8230;</p>
<p>Stay frosty,</p>
<p>John</p>
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