John and Kevin-
The straight-from-the-heart responses were touching and the advice inspiring. Really. Got me doing some serious thinking over here.

FWIW, sharing a piece of you & your world like this that’s personal and not directly “profit-driven” adds a comforting element of realness to the dynamic.

So, thanks to both of you for sharing your thoughts.

Kevin, I’ll see you in class! John, drop in soon and don’t go easy on me!

So damn ironic? Many people say “Ohh I need a vacation to refreshen myself up, I’m sooo tired and beat up, I need a place to just relax and not worry about a thing but I have no money or time”

Well then here’s my answer “It doesn’t matter if you don’t have money for vacation or time- Do this. Take everything business related and put it away somewhere else- where you will not see it. Ok? Am I going slow?…Then take out a schedule notepad or daily planner (if you don’t have one- which you likely don’t buy it or if you do but don’t use it- then USE it) And then create 7 days where you will do NOTHING but vacation in a row. Where will you go? Somewhere local and within the state. Hop onto google and begin searching for fun things to do that are cheap. Such as walking @ a beatiful park near you, going to the beach, watching the sun set, hitting the local muesems, eating out to nice but affordable diners, going swimming on a park, mediatating at a peaceful area, going bowling, taking pictures of tourists places near your area and discovering things you hadn’t discovered.

Right down your “local” vacation schedule down on your notepad or whatever- And make sure you say an affirmation like this “I’m on the most amazing vacation and resort in the whole entire world” -5-7 times a day with emotion and actually visualize yourself.

BAM your on vacation with zero hotel costs, airfare and expensive transportation costs.

True, no one can answer for you, but I’m glad you’re asking anyway.

Allow me to go deep here for a minute (cue “going deep” music..)

My mother and I were very close. She’s responsible for my better qualities

Ten years ago, when I was living in Chicago, switching careers and struggling to work things out for the future… she was back in Florida switching husbands and facing her own set of tough questions.

She wished I was closer to her so we could help each other. We were good at that.

But Florida was so far away in my mind. I had fought to escape. I somehow knew I’d “find myself” somewhere else. The thought of going back then felt like a prison sentence.

Mom and I talked by phone and wrote letters, but it wasn’t enough.

One very average night, just as my roommate and I were about to start a movie — the phone rang.

It was my girlfriend, Michelle.

“Have you talked with anyone yet?” She sounded panicked.

“No why, what’s the matter?”

“It’s your mom…” she said, her voice shaking. “It’s not good.”

I was on the next flight, but it was too late.

The aneurysm at the stem of her brain that no one knew existed had suddenly ruptured, causing a cerebral hemorrhage.

When I arrived at the hospital, doctors were putting her chances at “2 percent.”

“Two percent!” What the fuck? At least humor me and bump it to 5.

I sat at her bedside for weeks… but she never regained consciousness.

Circumstances left me no choice but to return home to Chicago. A life paid weekly can only go on hold for so long. (strongest case I know for entrepreneurship)

She died a week later. On July 2nd 1999.

Of course, it eats at me… all the things I could have said and done to make life better for her – if I’d returned to Florida. Even just for a little while.

Who knows? Maybe we could have spotted the phantom bulging vessel before it burst…

Maybe she’d be inside my house playing with my children right now… the way I always wish she was.

But that’s not the way it went down.

And I could spend more time regretting it, and feeling like I let her down.

But, the truth is…

The thing she inspired in me, more than anything else, was a spirit of adventure. She knew that a life is made up not of days – but of moments. And creating those moments demands that you move some.

Traveling is all about unexpected moments. It’s what the truly living HOPE for when they travel.

It does grow you. It is critical.

And the opportunity does fade with time and complacency and responsibility.

So, whenever that nagging beast of regret crawls in and whispers “what if’s” at me, I take comfort knowing that the reason I was away from her then, was a result of who she inspired me to be – all the time.

What I want to say, Brian, is there’s no way to predict when anyone’s time will come.

But I promise you this…

If you pass up the moments that will make up your life because you’re afraid to miss the one that happens when someone you love will die… regret wins.

And a life of regret is a life wasted.

You’re a man. Go your way.

Your grandparents will love you for it.

No one can answer your question for you.

The important thing is, whatever you do, do it fully. If you stay in Chicago with you grandparents (hell, even if you don’t), make sure to *soak them up completely*. Engage them, interact with them, ask them questions, pick their brains. For all sorts of things: experience, lessons, funny stories, times when the unexpected happened etc. You will “see the world from a different view” for sure.

John often speaks of *reality* and being in touch with it. Old folks are a prime source of reality lessons. You get hit with a lot of reality throughout 85 years. Use their experience as your own.

As you said, one day they will be gone. It’s a shame if all their Moments are lost with them.

All the best,
Ray
Grandparentless

For a European, it’s best if you stay in Europe, health care wise.

And if I am looking for a (fear based) excuse not to take such a radical action, they are legion; too old, will never get a residential visa, won’t be able to figure out a way of making enough dough online to survive, won’t be able to stay even if I do.

The list is almost endless.

But there is still that strong draw to make that sh*t or bust decision, go and MAKE something happen, or face the second half of life living an existence I don’t want.

20,30 even 40 dull and uneventful years, mentally wishing I was living elsewhere and doing something else.

The siren call’s persist in invading my thought’s day and night.

It’s a big decision at any age, and I suppose ultimately, as John say’s, one you have to make yourself.

To refresh my mind, SOON!

Regards,

Juri Saragih

You’re grandma just loves you but I’m sure she doesn’t want you to miss out on the world. Let them know how you feel about them everyday, and be prepared. Life’s short for us all.

John great advice – thanks.