Quiz Time Again (Avoid this one if you blush easily)

Wednesday, 2:41pm
Las Vegas, NV
“Goan ta Lost Wages, Lost Wages…” (Steely Dan)

Howdy…

Got a new question for ya. And I’d love to hear what you think the answer is.

Please post your shot in the comments section below.

I’ll read ‘em all (and you should, too) cuz the input that comes in via these little quiz thingies is often pure gold.

However — just to keep it interesting — the FIRST right answer scores a free copy of “Kick Ass Copywriting Secrets of a Marketing Rebel” (or a copy of the about-to-finally-be-re-released “Freelance Course”).

Unfortunately, you’ll have to engage your brain for this one. I kinda doubt there’s more than a handful of folks out there tuned in enough to actually know the right answer.

I’ll reveal everything on Friday, after I get back from this grueling road-trip I’m on. (Currently in Sin City for the SANG thang — goofing off and hanging out with the likes of Jeff Walker, Rich Schefren, Brian Johnson, Mike Koenigs, Stephen Pierce, Shawn Casey, Joe Sugarman, and too many more to name here.)

(Just heard Tony Robbins last night — great talk, and my mind is still racing from what he shared with us.) (Hint: How to thrive in the world as the economy plays out its destiny according to historical trends.)

(Also saw Paula Abdul, of American Idol, give her first public talk. I’ve got photos.)

(More on all this in a later post. I’ve got an iffy Web connection here in the Wynn suite that’s been my home for several days, and I just wanna touch base here… and rile things up a bit until I get back home.)

So here’s the quiz:

In a recent Twitter dogfight I was having with some other marketers, I inadverttantly revealed my 4 Health Rules For Physically Maintaining A Kick-Ass Writer’s Existence.

At least, I revealed 3 of the steps.

I just couldn’t bring myself to name the missing one (Step #3).

Cuz, you know… well, it can make people blush.

And, from what I’ve been told, it’s not nice to make people blush on Twitter.

However, on this blog… hell, I love making people blush.

So I’ll reveal that missing step here.

But not until I’ve heard some of your guesses.

Here are the 3 rules I did reveal, below. Remember: These are essentials for any writer who wants to avoid the catastrophic health nonsense that has ruined many another writer’s life…

Rule #1: Break a sweat everyday.

Writers can slip into becoming Couch Potatoes waaaay too easily. Once you start making money sitting at a desk, your brain will start telling you it’s okay to STAY sitting at your desk all day and all night.

Your brain, at that point, is trying to kill you.

Ignore it.

We are animals living in a physical world. Your ability to think, act and work your mojo depends on your health. And your health depends upon your body working well.

Devolving into Jabba The Hut will not further your goals of wealth and happiness.

So do what you must to work up a good, stinky sweat, every single day. Walks count (as long as you’re chugging along at a good pace.) Games like tennis, raquetball, and full-court basketball (preferrably with people younger, faster, and more agile than you) are great.

Even better: Hire a freaking trainer to force you into shape. (Mine is nicknamed “The Nazi Bitch”, for good reasons.)

Just do what you have to do to get your heart racing, your blood pumping, and your sweat glands frothing.

Remember: You aren’t exercising if you’re not sweating.

Sweat is good. Thirty to forty minutes of it every day won’t interupt any part of your style, and will help you enjoy life at every level.

Rule #2: Breathe. Deep.

Most Americans don’t breathe at all. They “sip” air, using only the upper area of their lungs.

Writers are the worst offenders. There really is something called a “Writer’s Trance” — where you will slip into a slouch while deep in writing mode, breathing so shallow that carbon monoxide builds up in your system and you come close to blacking out.

Been there. Done that. Fell out of my chair in a confused daze, toxic with “bad” air that needed to be expelled.

Finding a way to avoid this trance is not easy.

Heck, I own the most expensive ergonomic chairs made… and it took me about 15 minutes to unconsciously figure out how to slouch in them and obliterate any benefit from the support.

Slouching, riveted on the process of writing, nearly immobile except for your fingers flailing away at the keyboard, while barely breathing… dude, you’re asking for bio-chemical trouble.

Your brain will curcle without plenty of oxygen. Thinking becomes sluggish, headaches ramp up, and dream-like states take over. (You may even hallucinate that you’re producing great copy, when in actuality you’re slinging slop.)

So learn to breathe. Yoga ain’t a bad place to learn the techniques. (Especially Hatha yoga.)

I won’t go into the details here, but you can easily master the technique of filling your lungs from bottom to top with just a few sessions from anyone you can corner who knows what they’re doing. A pretty yoga teacher is my recommnedation. I suppose you could Google for breathing techniques, too.

The thing is, breathing deep is essential to living well, and thinking well. Breathing shallow is for tools.

Quick technique: Set up a timer when you write to go off every 30 minutes. Stand up when it dings, stretch a bit, walk around, and do some focused breathing for ten minutes or so.

Then set the alarm again, and get back into writing.

Rule #3:

I’m not gonna tell you yet.

You need to think about it, and give me your idea in the comment section, first.

Rule #4: Feed your brain.

This means exactly what you think it means.

When you really need to write well, nix the junk food diet, and eat as well as possible. Lots of fruits and veggies, Omega-3 oils (fish), high-end cuts of meat if you’re gonna eat meat.

No sugar. No snack food. No crap at all.

I’ve experimented with herbs like ginko, ginger, and other cool herbs which are supposed to aid brain function, but I can’t really swear by any clear-cut results. Try ‘em, and use ‘em if they work for you.

Very important: Do not rely on coffee to stay “alert”.

Rather, take a nap if you’re really tired. It’s a tactic all top writers know about — stuff your brain with info, then go sleep for 20 minutes and let your unconscious synthesize and data-mine everything. When you wake up (don’t sleep for longer than 20 minutes or you’ll get groggy), you will often be amazed at what’s suddenly ready to be written.

I’ve done my headlines this way for most of my career. USPs, too.

I never force myself to stay awake. You’ll spend 3 hours grinding out crap you’ll have to toss anyway… and by grabbing some brain-satisfying shut-eye when you require it, you can be more productive in half-an-hour than you’d ever realize in those 3 bleary-eyed hours trying to coerce results.

So…

… that’s 3 of the 4 big rules for being a physically-sound writer.

Nothing particularly earth-shattering here. You may have known about these 3 rules already.

Rule #3, however, eludes even smart writers.

I have NEVER come across mention of it in any of the books I’ve read about writing.

I’ve never heard another guru talk about it.

And yet…

… this rule came naturally to me, early in my career. It made sense. And it worked, by making me astonishingly more productive and effective.

When I met Gary Halbert, I discovered he lived by the same rules… including the Big One, #3 (which I will reveal to you Friday).

No hints. (Except that it does tend to make rookie writers blush.)

Ponder.

Try to imagine how your own physical manifestation of writing stuff might benefit from doing something essential and critical to your body’s health.

And submit your answer here, in the comments section.

First one to score wins the prize.

But everyone wins, of course, because the sharing of tactics and info in these quiz threads always delivers new wisdom and insight.

Okay. Let’s hear what you’ve got.

Sorry, in advance, if I’ve made you blush even thinking about this stuff…

Stay frosty,

John Carlton

P.S. WHAT!?!

You’re not following me on Twitter?

That’s… insane.

I post frequently throughout each week (usually in the mid-to-late P.M. hours, west-coast time)… and consistently keep things stirred up and off kilter.

You’re missing out, if you’re not at least road-testing Twitter. This is Web 2.0 on steroids.

I’m at www.twitter.com/johncarlton007

Check it out.

Now post your idea of Rule #3 in the comments section below.

C’mon, don’t be a coward.

It’ll be fun.

58 Responses to Quiz Time Again (Avoid this one if you blush easily)

  1. Well, I think — since we’re talking physical health issues — No.3 has to be healthy regular sex. (or at least some “risky” adventure of that kind, every once in a while.)

    That’s because most of writers happen to be introverted, and often put imaginary life in front of the real stuff.

    John Carlton replies:

    Nice try, Pavel. And, of course, most folks will come up with this first. It’s a part of the answer, but not the whole thing.

    Remember, the total answer isn’t obvious. Most folks don’t get it right.

    Now… normally, I’d chime in here to torment and tease people as the answers pile up… but I’m traveling today, and can’t. So, you’re all on your own here.

    I’ll post Friday with the complete answer.

    This IS worth thinking about.

    Good luck. You can try as often as you like.

  2. John

    My guess would be the one that ties the other three all together
    And that would be Reading the National Enquirer, and other like
    newspapers. To stimulate the imagination that makes you create all those great headlines.

    Gary McElwain

  3. Kyle says:

    John, sex is the “gimme” but I don’t entirely believe that is it.

    Sex already meets two of your needs: sweating and oxygenating.

    I’m leaning towards a broader scope of sex. My guess is it has something to do with developing a passionate relationship… and taking time away from writing to experience life.

    Not sure that’s my final answer though. I’ll need to think it over.

  4. Jesus says:

    Blush? Sex is a given and already mentioned. So my recommendation is ‘cleansing’ or ‘purging’. Cleaning the body and mind of waste so you can write without a filter.

  5. Chris says:

    Just to get it out, I will guess masturbation instead of sex ;)

    This will not only release endorphins and make you relax BUT it will also help improve your fantasy since you’re probably visualizing some cool scene…

    There, I said it ;)

  6. Burton Kent says:

    John said make “newbie” writers blush. Not the general public.

    I’d say get trash like Reader’s Digest, the National Enquirer, Cosmo and all that. Copy out the damn headlines. By hand.

    I did it this and blushed when I got my mail, because I was buddies with my mailman, Tom. (I moved) Lord knows what he thought of my taste in reading.

    You can also change the headlines into fill-in-the-blank templates. Like John’s Headline today:

    “XXXX time again. (Avoid this one if you XXXX easily)”

  7. Juri Saragih says:

    My answer is :

    …the power of gratitude…

    being thankful for a little things that we never realized and do before make us become a better person physical and physcological..

    that make us as better person as well.

    it’s can related to rule number 4.

    that’s all..

    hope it helps.

    Regards,

    Juri Saragih

  8. Burton Kent says:

    I read this again, and see it’s “something physical”. Also, “I’ve never heard another guru talk about it”.

    Gary did talk about the headlines exercise, so my above answer is wrong. (I got the headlines exercise from Scott Haines, who got it from Gary.)

    Instead of saying it’s sex, I’d say it’s the opposite. Abstaining from sex, and redirecting the energy behind it. Napoleon Hill called it “Transmuting the Sex Drive”. Supposedly Leonardo Da Vinci did the same thing.

    From Think and Grow Rich:

    “When driven by this desire, men develop keenness of imagination, courage, will-power, persistence, and creative ability unknown to them at other times. So strong and impelling is the desire for sexual contact that men freely run the risk of life and reputation to indulge it. When harnessed, and redirected along other lines, this motivating force maintains all of its attributes of keenness of imagination, courage, etc., which may be used as powerful creative forces in literature, art, or in any other profession or calling, including, of course, the accumulation of riches.”

    Elsewhere he writes, “The emotion of sex contains the secret of creative ability.”

    I would say, “John, you horny bastard!”… except I’m probably wrong. Abstaining is definitely not doing something – and you wrote “doing something essential and critical to your body’s health”.

  9. KyleAgain says:

    A meaningful relationship… filled with vacations a plenty, *LAUGHTER* , and of course… rampant sex.

  10. Ian says:

    #3:

    When you wake up tell yourself you’re unstoppable, get into kick ass predator mode and start tackling your work.

  11. Definitely SEX (or masturbation). I know it’s critical to MY creative process!

  12. Kip Lytle says:

    What I remember from Halbert was that sex (in whatever form suits you personally) was only part of the answer …

    … the reason he was having sex, was because he was letting his subconscious perculate on the idea and copy – sex was just his way of filling the time.

    Could be anything that pulls you away from the job at hand and lets the greater powers of the universe design the answers for you.

  13. Bernardo says:

    Have fun!

    Get away from the “duties” of writing and have
    some damn good fun – even if that means not
    doing a damn thing but just relaxing.

    Although some of the people above have a
    different kind of release in mind … getting far
    far away from the brain work of writing is a
    pretty damn good release too.

  14. Lisa Manyon says:

    Reading and writing about sex!?

    Write on!~

    Lisa

  15. Darwin says:

    John,

    Not just my belief but according to Dr Oz as seen on Oprah sex at least 200 times per year will increase your life and health. Though this offers some of the benefits of the other 3, those you can do alone but vigorous sex also includes with another human.

  16. Tim Schaefer says:

    I’m going to say “stalking the desk” as no one else has brought it up.

    Getting yourself amped up as you pace back and forth, leering at your screen and becoming your own writing monster, ready to strike.

    It’s physical and triggers a chemical reaction to get the juices flowing.

    It’ll make a rookie blush if they’ve never let themselves go before.

    It’s relation to sex… now that’s where it gets to be more of a stretch. Not too sure how it fits in with “the old in and out,” but perhaps it has something to do with getting in touch with your inner animal and the carnal lust to take down a challenge.

  17. Bert Grimm says:

    Au naturel in the cool and fresh air is the answer John. Invigoration rules and opens the pores of the mind and body to achieve that nirvanic state.

    Captain Bert

  18. Bryan Bliss says:

    its hard to be concise about this but my suggestion is
    Experience deeply passionate emotions and release them.
    i think its helpful to actually EXPERIENCE the frustration, hopes, desires, fears and uncertainty of the reader or market I’m addressing.
    the whole show.
    to really be a conduit for the feelings of the reader
    to really be a representation of their feelings even better than they can put into words themselves.
    but the experience needs to be transitory
    experienced then let go
    with that empathy comes understanding
    with understanding comes rapport.
    but I cant carry the burden of the world on MY shoulders all day
    I need to EXHALE it.
    live it
    then let it go
    because if you cant let it go you’ll drink or depress yourself to death.

    just my 2 cents
    thanks and take care John

    so Glad you and yours are doing well.
    please give my best to my personal Hometown HERO
    Joe Sugarman
    From Fellow Oak Parker
    Bryan Bliss

  19. Mividalogo says:

    what about indulge in passions?

    It’s more than just physical but it’s got to be something you’re passionate about. Feeding your soul. You’ve covered the body physical with exercise and food and breathing… Feeding your soul with something you’re passionate about has got to be it… whether you’re into cars, or dance, or stamp collecting… It’s gotta be something that lights the fire within you.

    mividalogo

  20. Bryan Bliss says:

    more concise.

    Instead of Masturbate
    Master your state.
    Get happy.
    Get angry.
    Get sad.
    Get into it.
    Get over it.

    Bryan

  21. Peter says:

    If it’s physical and not sex (in any form), then it must be ensuring that, the most simple and gratifying of life’s pleasures is experienced every day.

    A satisfying bowel movement, in plain English, a good crap, every day, triggered if required by a diet rich in fibre and fresh fruit.

    This will have the benefit of clearing the mind and keeping the digestive sytem working.

  22. Kevin Halloran says:

    John,
    Come on. There is only one answer possible to the missing #3. You advocate it, Halbert advocated it, Kennedy, Bencivenga, Nicholas, Makepeace, Masterson et al… Betcha even Schefren, Kern & the rest of the new crowd too!

    Ain’t sex, as hot ‘n’ lusty as that heats up the imagination that is… Ain’t reading Cosmo or the National Enquirer as beneficial and productive as they both may be… (Though a peek at Maxim doesn’t hurt neither…)

    Hell no!

    Nope, your right side of the cranium needs to be fed. Coddled a little, challenged a lot. Not some skimpy fancied-pants French gourmet morsel parading as a meal…

    No Way!

    Your brain needs no less than one of those Texas-sized, sizzlin’ hot, bits of grease still poppin in the air as the long-legged beauty with most healthy “attributes” places the biggest, thickest, most delectable 5 full pounds of man-sized slabs in front of you…

    Bud, you’ve got to friggin READ!

    And, read as much as you can, as often as you can.

    No less, no more.

    Best,

    Kevin Halloran

  23. My first guess would be indulging in pornography. Sex, masturbation etc are great, but pornography stimulates the heart, breathing adrenaline levels and especially the imagination. ( I didn’t know someone could bend that way…) The dialog is extremely simple if it exists and everyone gets to the point real fast. Teasing, provoking and getting involved in the process are great lessons that are easily and frequently taught with pornographic material.

    Just my guess
    Solve

  24. Hal Hoadley says:

    visualize your thoughts. If you can see it and believe it than you own it.

  25. Hi John,

    Listen man…. you’ve got me intrigued and curious.

    The guess I will make, since you said that we can have as many as we want, is having sex ( making lurv…) while imagining your prospects doing the same and working out how they feel about it. ( having sex that is….not your fertile imagination following their every move… ). It may also be having sex while imagining doing it WITH your prospects…!!!

    You’re probably also figuring out what they’re thinking/ fantasizing about. Primary drivers etc…the mind boggles

    It makes sense from a health point of view and a writing point of view as you’re getting right in there where your prospects are at…

    The other possible benefit is that it takes you out of yourself on an imaginative level so that you’re clearing the slate, so to speak…Ready to write ( and rumble )

    I will say right here that my sex life will never be the same again now that I know you May be wondering about what I’m up to and who with….? ( And all those other “A” list copywriters too…it’s just too, too sordid ).

    Down big boy…DOWN….!!

    Love ya man,

    Mike

    PS why else would someone live in a place like Thailand…?

    PPS….. Don’t go there…Please

  26. Rule #3: Drink as much pure water until you piss it back out (at least it looks alike). ~~Blush~~

    Some would then call it proper hydration and insist that it would benefit your physical exercise, allow the oxygen your deep breathing brought in to travel to far body parts like those required for sex and those for thinking, thus enabling you to reap the fruit of your well fed brain and give you the energy to have some fun afterwards. Sex after writing instead of a cigarette after the show, nice concept in itself.

    Well, if the impossible misconception should occur that water is NOT #3, then we need a Rule #5. And that at last should make it for the or a free copy of… ;-)

    Get drowned

    Karl

    P.S. Pure water for our body means cleaned by reverse osmosis or distilled.

  27. Peter Frank says:

    Hi John,

    What about tantric sex? There’s lots to be said for spending hours up close and personal with the one you love.

    Only problem with that you may miss your writing deadline.

    Peter

  28. Mike B says:

    I’m going to go with eat lots of fiber so you can keep the pipes clean.

    I keep in good physical shape by lifting boxes of John Carlton swipe files. But that won’t make anyone blush…

  29. George Ball says:

    Dear John, I have to agree with Peter and Mike B., whatever it turns out to be takes place in the little boys room. I don’t know what it is but sometimes after taking care of business, that shiny white seat can stimulate ideas, words, paragraphs and thoughts. So for me it works, I’ll guess that it works for you too! look forward to Friday, have a nice one!

  30. Eric says:

    How about wine? It makes a person new to alcohol flush and definitely helped writing my college papers.

    Or laughter from watching stand up comedy on you tube? It always stretches my brain a bit. Nothing like a little Carlin, Chris Rock, or Ricky Gervais. Jon Stewart too.

    This one is off the wall. Having a dog? I’ve got two mini-dachshunds and they get me so present and relaxed when I play with them.

    Cheers all,
    Eric Arias

  31. Haha, as a copywriter AND a fitness enthusiast, I should know this one!

    I’m going to say taking a break and meditating. I think meditating is essential to the mental health of a copywriter and although it wouldn’t make anybody blush, and I’m probably not right…figured I’d throw it out there :)

    It’s still important though for keeping a clear mind and being able to utilize your subconscious like naps but even more powerful!

    Jeremy Reeves
    http://www.HassleFreeFatLoss.com

  32. Nathan says:

    Dear John,

    Masturbate.

    Love,

    Nathan

  33. Winston Churchill wrote a lot of words.
    He said,
    Get naked totally,
    and take a nap.

    John, I gotta say you changed my life.
    At 80…I’m young and gay again.

  34. Fidelis says:

    I think no 3 is to be widely read, especially writers you admire, and the competition. This way the mind expands.

  35. Feed your creativity with this kind of magazine – Cosmopolitan, Redbook, Maxim. Learn their Headlines and imagine how it can complement with your market! Your mind will get wild……

  36. Ron Reed says:

    To all:

    Naturally, after reading ALL the posts and soaking my mind in your naughty thoughts it’s hard not to think about sex.

    Dammit! :)

    With that in mind, my answer might be a bit skewed and diluted.

    Regardless, I’m gonna go with FOREPLAY.

    Long, breath-taking, anticipation building, lustful foreplay. The kind that gets you ready, willing and able to press the “BUY NOW” button faster than you can say YES.

    That’s right… the kind that gets the ecstasy dial bouncing around like a jackrabbit on crack!

    Nothing gets the creative juices flowing (no pun intended) than the occasional foreplay battle with your lover.

    To me, foreplay essentially follows a successful marketing process.

    You keep building and building (and building)… until it takes the form of physical manifestation (A.K.A. taking action)

    Good for the body, mind and soul.

    Go try it!

    -Ron Reed

    P.S. — Obviously my answer was skewed by all you horny bastards, but it sounds good.

    If I didn’t go the foreplay angle, I’d probably divulge in methods only a rookie writer would blush at…

    … and that’s AUDIO/VIDEO WRITING.

    Talking into a microphone/camera and watching/listening to your own voice.

    It can be a bit embarrassing at first if you’ve never done it before.

    However, in today’s video-marketing world, this is the preferred and superior method of copywriting.

    Something worth considering. Just ask Frank “Superbad” Kern how well his video salesletter outperformed other methods in the latest MC launch.

    ((My answers are probably way off, but fuck it! I can only hope that what I wrote helps you become a better writer, and ultimately invokes some inspiration.))

  37. Eugene says:

    My guess is to have a routine for writing – to quickly get ourselves in “the zone”. Do stuff like wear special “writing clothes” (could be your 10 year old almost shred to bits but ultra-comfortable t-shirt), or putting on your “writing cap”.

    Or… the one that could possibly make writers blush… write butt-naked!

  38. Yoda says:

    Gotta keep the blood flowing….everywhere

    #3 Sit in your chair, wear loose shorts, (or none) and
    scratch you balls.

    “Alone you might be”….yoda

  39. Kevin Rogers says:

    I don’t think it matters if you’re alone—or the center link in a Portuguese daisy chain… it’s all about CUMMING.

    Ejaculation is essential to clear thinking. It refreshes the mind and relaxes the body.

    No time for a nap? Grab a tissue instead. (call it a “wet nap”)

    The only time I recommend sleep over masturbation is on an airplane… or a city bus… or after Thanksgiving dinner at your in-laws.

    Otherwise, enjoy!

  40. Yavor says:

    Colon cleansing…

  41. Nothing to do with sex…it’s all about chocolate.

    Everyone knows that.

  42. Matt D says:

    I am not the first to propose “dropping a deuce” (aka good old fashion #2), but let me try and spin that a bit to fit John’s question.

    John Said:

    “Try to imagine how your own physical manifestation of writing stuff might benefit from doing something essential and critical to your body’s health.”

    So take your copy and make it take a dump. Put your written copy over an imaginary throne and flush out all the useless crap you have managed to put in it. Stick with what your prospect truly wants to hear and dump the rest if it is of no value to your reader.

  43. Barnabas Ng says:

    Well, I think it is putting everything down (whatever you are writing) and not thinking about it. Just relax, let the brain takes a breather and have plenty of sex.

    PS: John, have you been following the premier league lately? One team seems to be on the roll now.

  44. Matt Gallant says:

    Since everyone has already said “sex” — I’ll go with:
    Tap into your HEART. Get romantic… get the emotions flowing.

    Without emotions – your copy is DEAD. Game over…

    When you feel PASSION for someone, that transfers to your ENTIRE LIFE.
    Including copywriting…

    Part of FUELING the passion of course is: HOT STEAMY LOVING SEX.

    If I “win” John — please give my prize to 2nd place. : )

    Rock on John,
    Matt

  45. vecman says:

    I’ve got to say that you have to do something “Primal”.

    Quench the thirst of your ape brain.

  46. Most writers go into the business to stay behind the scenes. Yet, most of the famous copywriters are also well known as people that have gotten out and experienced life and created adventures. This is also the best way to know what to write about. Only through experiencing life and meeting your customers first hand will you know to whom your letters are directed.

    Getting up in front of people, especially to give a speech, would make anyone blush with embarrassment and anxiety. This is a valuable skill because it gets you up from the desk and also teaches you to communicate more authentically with people. This will also come through in your writing over time.

    This is my guess for Rule #3. Routine lives suck.

  47. Eugene says:

    Guess #2…
    Do something that makes you uncomfortable everyday (or simply, something that makes you blush)

    If reading penthouse makes you uncomfortable, start reading penthouse. If admitting you’re wrong to your significant other makes you blush, do it. Embrace your fear and conquer it. RAWRR!

  48. john says:

    Hey,
    Laugh, It’ll help your breathing and your brain and everything else.

    John

  49. Patrick says:

    This blog is…

    Insane

    Random

    and funny as fuck!

    Since most things have been covered (or uncovered), I won’t take it any further… lol, to reveal to the world what a truly sick puppy I am.

    Hell, I definitely wouldn’t be using my second name. lol

    Nobody has mentioned “Gonzo” yet?

    Neither did I.

    Nothing left to do now but stab in the dark…

    I’d say… to have a good belly laugh, inspired by a raunchy, perverted, nothing is sacred sense of humour.

  50. Matt D says:

    Go from your Pen to your Pen(is) then back to your Pen again.

    Write
    Have Sex
    Edit your previous writing with a clear and relaxed mind.

    “First one to SCORE wins!”

  51. Jane says:

    I think I got it.. Poop.

    Drop the kids off at the pool…. etc..

    Hey I was not the only one that started looking in that white bowl – hoping for a s curve after watching the Oprah “poop” show.

    And I know I feel – think and breathe better when it works on schedule.

    I am going for the gold (or the S-curve).. and it will make a newbie blush…

  52. Bernardo says:

    Get in touch with your inner lazy-ass.

  53. Earnst says:

    #3
    Sneak next door and plant the flag pole while her husbands at work. Don’t leave till you hear the garage door opening.
    Your heart will pound so hard it will vibrate your ears.
    Your butt draw string will tighten. You’ll be whimpering like a 3 year old as you cross the lawn. Especially if he is a cop.

    Makes you feel alive.

    • Leah says:

      If you’re not prepared to die, you aren’t prepared to live must be true. If you take off and forget your flag in all that pounding vibration, you better hope he is a cop. They aim first, then shoot you in your ass. Anyone else will shoot with haphazard passion until the bullets are gone. Don’t do it again, you won’t be so lucky next time!! With risk comes responsibility most of us don’t want…you go boy, with your bad self!

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