Comments on: Lying Little Weasels http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/ The Marketing Rebel RANT Sat, 13 Mar 2010 19:20:14 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Jonathan http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3262 Jonathan Sun, 25 May 2008 04:20:07 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3262 Shocks me ... I had almost the identical experience to you as a baby boomer - right smack in the best part of it. After the war, our parents wanted to create a atmosphere full of love and good things - the diametric opposite to the horror of what they had just been through. Yes, they passionately wanted to make it all good pink and rosy, and we were the fortunate beneficiaries. Hah! My mother too never know where we were during the weekends. Lies? I don't think anyone lies more or less than they did, but the pressure to do so is greater now. Never fear though, I still have faith in human nature. The good times always return one way or another - seems that is the natural state of things. Jonathan Shocks me …

I had almost the identical experience to you as a baby boomer – right smack in the best part of it.

After the war, our parents wanted to create a atmosphere full of love and good things – the diametric opposite to the horror of what they had just been through.

Yes, they passionately wanted to make it all good pink and rosy, and we were the fortunate beneficiaries.

Hah! My mother too never know where we were during the weekends.

Lies? I don’t think anyone lies more or less than they did, but the pressure to do so is greater now.

Never fear though, I still have faith in human nature. The good times always return one way or another – seems that is the natural state of things.

Jonathan

]]> By: Fabio http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3261 Fabio Fri, 23 May 2008 22:18:59 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3261 John, Accepting things as true and checking up on it seems to be a wise system to perfect our lie radar. It seems that some people have a keener discernment for things and folks. I don't know if I do. I frequently find myself acting naive. But I don't want to go skeptical over everyone either. I feel wiser... Thanks for the post Fabio Henri John,

Accepting things as true and checking up on it seems to be a wise system to perfect our lie radar. It seems that some people have a keener discernment for things and folks. I don’t know if I do. I frequently find myself acting naive. But I don’t want to go skeptical over everyone either. I feel wiser…

Thanks for the post

Fabio Henri

]]> By: Sharon B. http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3260 Sharon B. Fri, 23 May 2008 21:52:00 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3260 Hi John-- Your story of your early years brought back some great memories from my own--thanks! I sometimes think ours was the last generation that was allowed to have real fun and build our imaginations. When I look back now, though, I am amazed we all survived largely intact, given some of the things we used to do. But it was fun, regardless. As for lying: after being "trained" to it as a kid, I refuse to do it now. My fiancee is always hollering at me for being too honest ("Everyone else lies; why shouldn't you?") but I don't, to the best of my ability. To me, lying denotes a lack of integrity, both towards myself and others, so I strive to be truthful without hurting feelings. I am not 100% successful at it. But where my clients are concerned, they know I will give it to them straight. Anything less would put me out of business. Perhaps due to my "training", my Lie Detector is usually dead on. I can tell a lie from a truthful statement because they FEEL different, if you know what I mean. Thanks for the thoughts. I enjoy reading your blog. Hi John–
Your story of your early years brought back some great memories from my own–thanks! I sometimes think ours was the last generation that was allowed to have real fun and build our imaginations. When I look back now, though, I am amazed we all survived largely intact, given some of the things we used to do. But it was fun, regardless.
As for lying: after being “trained” to it as a kid, I refuse to do it now. My fiancee is always hollering at me for being too honest (”Everyone else lies; why shouldn’t you?”) but I don’t, to the best of my ability. To me, lying denotes a lack of integrity, both towards myself and others, so I strive to be truthful without hurting feelings.
I am not 100% successful at it. But where my clients are concerned, they know I will give it to them straight. Anything less would put me out of business.
Perhaps due to my “training”, my Lie Detector is usually dead on. I can tell a lie from a truthful statement because they FEEL different, if you know what I mean.
Thanks for the thoughts. I enjoy reading your blog.

]]> By: Ken Varga http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3259 Ken Varga Wed, 21 May 2008 13:55:37 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3259 John, You're right on about the lying public. I've had clients that I consulted with, and I was helping them in one area, when I should have been helping them in another. Ken Varga www.kenvarga.com John, You’re right on about the lying public. I’ve had clients that I consulted with, and I was helping them in one area, when I should have been helping them in another.

Ken Varga
http://www.kenvarga.com

]]> By: Pete Godfrey http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3258 Pete Godfrey Tue, 20 May 2008 21:24:08 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3258 G’day John, Thanks for your wise words over the years! Your teachings have put ten of thousands of dollars into my clients’ bank accounts and made me a hell of a lot too. Anyway, this whole “should” thing got me thinking. Reminds me of the time I first visited a new mate of mine. He had a dog called Dozer. A big, black snarling beast, half Rottweiler, half Bull-Mastiff. Didn’t like people much. Anyway, I get over to my mate’s house and Dozer is snarling at the gate, just ready to rip my arms off. I yell out to my friend who is sitting on the front steps and asked him does Dozer bite and is it okay to come in. My mate’s answer? “Yeah come in! You should be okay!” That wasn’t the answer I was looking for! G’day John,

Thanks for your wise words over the years! Your teachings have put ten of thousands of dollars into my clients’ bank accounts and made me a hell of a lot too.

Anyway, this whole “should” thing got me thinking.

Reminds me of the time I first visited a new mate of mine. He had a dog called Dozer. A big, black snarling beast, half Rottweiler, half Bull-Mastiff. Didn’t like people much.

Anyway, I get over to my mate’s house and Dozer is snarling at the gate, just ready to rip my arms off.

I yell out to my friend who is sitting on the front steps and asked him does Dozer bite and is it okay to come in.

My mate’s answer?

“Yeah come in! You should be okay!”

That wasn’t the answer I was looking for!

]]> By: john-carlton http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3257 john-carlton Tue, 20 May 2008 20:06:25 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3257 John Carlton writes: Thanks, Nathan. I meant to make that point, and didn't. It IS easier -- and mentally healthier -- to be a truth teller. But humans have never been prone to take the easy path, when a more complex, dangerous and trouble-creating path is available... John John Carlton writes:

Thanks, Nathan. I meant to make that point, and didn’t. It IS easier — and mentally healthier — to be a truth teller.

But humans have never been prone to take the easy path, when a more complex, dangerous and trouble-creating path is available…

John

]]> By: Nathan Stockwell http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3256 Nathan Stockwell Tue, 20 May 2008 19:37:14 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3256 Great post John. I get so sick and tired of lying to cover ignorance as well. It seems that it comes down to no one wanting to take responsibilty. And the funny thing is, being honest and admitting faults (not knowing an answer to something) seems to be the quickest way to build trust. It's so EASY to just be honest. I've found that when you grow up, take responsibilty for something, people gravitate towards you. They LIKE you. The best part now is that since so few people step up to the plate to stop making excuses, it's easier for us that do to steal customers. As far as relationships? People are not that stupid. When you lie to someone you have a relationship with, their "idiot" radar goes up. They may not be able to vocalize why they don't trust you, but there it is all the same. And the damage is done just as bad anyway. Anyway, . . . kudos. Nathan Stockwell (Your conservative champion) Great post John.

I get so sick and tired of lying to cover ignorance as well. It seems that it comes down to no one wanting to take responsibilty.

And the funny thing is, being honest and admitting faults (not knowing an answer to something) seems to be the quickest way to build trust.

It’s so EASY to just be honest. I’ve found that when you grow up, take responsibilty for something, people gravitate towards you. They LIKE you.

The best part now is that since so few people step up to the plate to stop making excuses, it’s easier for us that do to steal customers.

As far as relationships? People are not that stupid. When you lie to someone you have a relationship with, their “idiot” radar goes up. They may not be able to vocalize why they don’t trust you, but there it is all the same.

And the damage is done just as bad anyway.

Anyway, . . . kudos.

Nathan Stockwell (Your conservative champion)

]]> By: Patrick http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/lying-little-weasels/comment-page-1/#comment-3255 Patrick Tue, 20 May 2008 12:27:16 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2008/05/19/lying-little-weasels/#comment-3255 Hi John, That is an interesting blog. This lying tendency that we as humans have, is something that I have been grappling with for quite some time now. I had an Ah Ha moment in business, when I realized that during positional bargaining and negotiation, and studies verify this, that 100% percent of people lie. They all engage in some form of: misrepresentation of their position, bluffing, falsification, deception or selective disclosure. It is generally accepted that the essence of positional bargaining and negotiating is deception. In fact, anybody that doesn't actively engaged in misleading their opponents while negotiating is considered a fool. Of course, everything that is said as per the contract, terms and conditions etc, is straight up or else!!! But the money bit at the end, the bargaining... different rules apply. Is this the one circumstance where it is actually ok to lie???? This question has been eating me up. What I've come to realize through further research is that life and the world as we know could not function without some degree of lying. Some studies say that we all lie as much as 14 times a week. (Actually, it was an American study... I'm sure we don't lie that much down here in New Zealand. lol. just joking with you, we're no different). So my question to John and the forum: Is this the one circumstance where it is actually ok to lie???? What do you guy's think? Hi John,

That is an interesting blog. This lying tendency that we as humans have, is something that I have been grappling with for quite some time now.

I had an Ah Ha moment in business, when I realized that during positional bargaining and negotiation, and studies verify this, that 100% percent of people lie. They all engage in some form of: misrepresentation of their position, bluffing, falsification, deception or selective disclosure.

It is generally accepted that the essence of positional bargaining and negotiating is deception.

In fact, anybody that doesn’t actively engaged in misleading their opponents while negotiating is considered a fool.

Of course, everything that is said as per the contract, terms and conditions etc, is straight up or else!!! But the money bit at the end, the bargaining… different rules apply.

Is this the one circumstance where it is actually ok to lie????

This question has been eating me up. What I’ve come to realize through further research is that life and the world as we know could not function without some degree of lying.

Some studies say that we all lie as much as 14 times a week. (Actually, it was an American study… I’m sure we don’t lie that much down here in New Zealand. lol. just joking with you, we’re no different).

So my question to John and the forum: Is this the one circumstance where it is actually ok to lie???? What do you guy’s think?

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