Comments on: How To Be A Sap http://www.john-carlton.com/2005/08/08/how_to_be_a_sap/ insight, tactics, advice and mutterings on copywriting, marketing and living life deep... from the most ripped-off world-class ad writer alive... Thu, 04 Dec 2008 04:24:18 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.2 By: Frank Kern http://www.john-carlton.com/2005/08/08/how_to_be_a_sap/#comment-183 Frank Kern Thu, 11 Aug 2005 23:33:02 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2005/08/08/how_to_be_a_sap/#comment-183 I had to turn it off. When the little girl was all solemn looking and asking where her daddy was ...way too much for me. (I have two little girls.) And the whole thing spawned this theory: If at that very moment in the show, an "Emergency Bulletin" came on that said something like: "ATTENTION FATHERS OF YOUNG GIRLS: IF YOU KEEP SMOKING, YOUR WIFE WILL HAVE TO TELL YOUR LITTLE GIRL THAT DADDY'S DEAD AND GONE FOREVER. YOUR DAUGHTER'S HEART WILL BREAK AT THAT VERY MOMENT AND SHE WILL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE. THE VAST AND TERRIFYING VOID OF UNCERTAINTY SHE WILL FACE WILL CREATE A GAPING WOOUND SHE'LL NEVER RECOVER FROM." ...My guess is, it would be pretty effective. (OK, maybe it would need to be a put together a little better than the example I just gave but you get the point. Anchoring something to that powerful emotional experience. Playing on the "holy shit that could be me" fear.) At that VERY moment in the show, I decided to: A: Abandon my plans to take flying lessons. B: NOT buy the 911 Twin Turbo I've been eyeballing. All because I couldn't bear to even watch a little girl *actress* PRETEND that her dad just died on TV. Emotion is powerful stuff indeed. I had to turn it off.

When the little girl was all solemn looking and asking where her daddy was …way too much for me.

(I have two little girls.)

And the whole thing spawned this theory:

If at that very moment in the show, an “Emergency Bulletin” came on that said something like:

“ATTENTION FATHERS OF YOUNG GIRLS: IF YOU KEEP SMOKING, YOUR WIFE WILL HAVE TO TELL YOUR LITTLE GIRL THAT DADDY’S DEAD AND GONE FOREVER. YOUR DAUGHTER’S HEART WILL BREAK AT THAT VERY MOMENT AND SHE WILL BE SCARRED FOR LIFE. THE VAST AND TERRIFYING VOID OF UNCERTAINTY SHE WILL FACE WILL CREATE A GAPING WOOUND SHE’LL NEVER RECOVER FROM.”

…My guess is, it would be pretty effective.

(OK, maybe it would need to be a put together a little better than the example I just gave but you get the point. Anchoring something to that powerful emotional experience. Playing on the “holy shit that could be me” fear.)

At that VERY moment in the show, I decided to:

A: Abandon my plans to take flying lessons.
B: NOT buy the 911 Twin Turbo I’ve been eyeballing.

All because I couldn’t bear to even watch a little girl *actress* PRETEND that her dad just died on TV.

Emotion is powerful stuff indeed.

]]> By: Kevin http://www.john-carlton.com/2005/08/08/how_to_be_a_sap/#comment-181 Kevin Thu, 11 Aug 2005 14:17:53 +0000 http://www.john-carlton.com/2005/08/08/how_to_be_a_sap/#comment-181 John, Outstanding piece and advice. As one born in the 1950's, it's easy for someone my age to slip back to the "John Wayne" mode that was prevalent back in the day. Real men weren't supposed to show emotions, didn't cry and-god forbid-never revealed a sensitive side.(For those of you in your late 40's and older....remember Ed Muskie's failed presidential bid after crying at a wintry, outdoor press conference? He later said the snow had gotten in to his eyes. Widely ridiculed, he quickly fell from being a serious contender for the Democratic nod to an also-ran.Overnight) Showing emotion left you open to being labeled weak and a wuss (or another similar sounding word). Those behavior patterns are one of the reasons we don't live as long as women. Women are more likely to "let it out". They cry and often embrace the emotional moments in life. Guys? We hold it all in, bite the lower lip, act tough. Then we get ulcers and high blood pressure and die from heart attacks and strokes. Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating one good cry per day or attending group hug sessions. But blocking out naturally occuring emotions IS unhealthy and as John said, makes it virtually impossible for you to regularly connect with your readers on any meaningful, gut-level manner. And if you can't do that, you ain't gonna be successful in writing or, sadly, most relationships. Period. Besides, last I checked chicks still dig sensitive guys. Not TOO sensitive, mind you. A bit here and there goes a long way for her...and you. Doc Freud signing off for now. P.S. If you don't agree with me, well, I'm just gonna have to kick your ass, ain't I? John,
Outstanding piece and advice.
As one born in the 1950’s, it’s easy for someone my age to slip back to the “John Wayne” mode that was prevalent back in the day.
Real men weren’t supposed to show emotions, didn’t cry and-god forbid-never revealed a sensitive side.(For those of you in your late 40’s and older….remember Ed Muskie’s failed presidential bid after crying at a wintry, outdoor press conference? He later said the snow had gotten in to his eyes. Widely ridiculed, he quickly fell from being a serious contender for the Democratic nod to an also-ran.Overnight)
Showing emotion left you open to being labeled weak and a wuss (or another similar sounding word).
Those behavior patterns are one of the reasons we don’t live as long as women. Women are more likely to “let it out”. They cry and often embrace the emotional moments in life.
Guys? We hold it all in, bite the lower lip, act tough. Then we get ulcers and high blood pressure and die from heart attacks and strokes.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not advocating one good cry per day or attending group hug sessions. But blocking out naturally occuring emotions IS unhealthy and as John said, makes it virtually impossible for you to regularly connect with your readers on any meaningful, gut-level manner.
And if you can’t do that, you ain’t gonna be successful in writing or, sadly, most relationships. Period.
Besides, last I checked chicks still dig sensitive guys. Not TOO sensitive, mind you. A bit here and there goes a long way for her…and you.
Doc Freud signing off for now.

P.S. If you don’t agree with me, well, I’m just gonna have to kick your ass, ain’t I?

]]>